If One More Person Tells Me Its Actually A Super Power Or Some Shit I Will Kill Them - Tumblr Posts

Just need to vent about something that bothers the ever living fuck put of me uhh TW i am bashing medical professionals so if you dont like that that’s cool please move on this aint for you

FUCK MEDICAL PROFESSIONALS!

I hate how I can’t get any kind of help for my mental health or any of the annoying things rattling around in this coconut I call my head.

I have ADHD and I am terrible at really just being a person. And there’s nothing I can do because if I tell a doctor it’s right back on the drugs that make my life miserable.

“Oh you procrastinate because of executive dysfunction? Well how about no more fucking happiness for you”

I want a solution but I don’t want that solution being meds. And it’s not just for that for a ton of other things, mostly my adhd and anxiety I can’t get any help for because meds are the only fucking solution I get given. I can’t tell a doctor about other much more serious mental issues I have because I don’t want to to back on the fucking meds.

You know why? Because they don’t work. They fucking don’t. I’m still as distracted. And the side effects suck ass. What do I get out of meds: Blamed ten times more for being a useless piece of shit. The side effects: Fucked up appetite, no more emotions, and no sleep. (At eight I was up for days at a time because those meds, when they took me off them I finally got a good nights rest.)

And it’s sooooo much worse when they take you off them. No emotions meant having to learn emotional regulation at twelve years old. And I still suck at it, I have to calm myself down listening to music because i never needed to learn because I didn’t feel a thing for nine years. Fucked up appetite meant once I did start eating normally and gained weight I hated myself so much. (No real consequence of no sleep because I’m right back to insomnia yay)

And the worst part is NO ONE TELLS YOU THIS. Under eighteen means you don’t get any kind of agency over yourself, so they don’t tell you how all this shit will mess you up.

And the doctors themselves suck ass. Instead of listening to what I fucking said the fucking dumbass just kept saying “why not talk about your dad” who I didn’t even remember. That aint gonna help my inability to feel emotions normally or sit still.

Every time the solution is meds and I fucking hate it

Rant over