Ijbol - Tumblr Posts
Thank god I know so many athletes cause I know how to draw biblically accurate Bokuto (double caked up)
𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌 𝐁𝐑𝐎 - 𝐄𝐍𝐇𝐘𝐏𝐄𝐍
desc. │ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴʜʏᴘᴇɴ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱ ʙʀᴏ (ᴊᴏɪɴ ᴍʏ ᴍᴏᴀ/ᴇɴɢᴇɴᴇ ᴅɪꜱᴄᴏʀᴅ ʜᴇʀᴇ)
warnings. │ ɴᴏɴᴇ. ᴛʜɪꜱ ɪꜱ ꜰᴜɴɴʏ ᴀɴᴅ ᴄᴜᴛᴇ.
made a lil thing
i’m thinking of a specific version of sugar baby/house husband satoru who’s the type to sit on a floatie in the pool and stroke his dick, not caring if the stuck-up neighbors hear him. he walks around in his boxers and slippers—maybe a flimsy button-up that’s not closed or covering anything at all. he goes out and checks the mail or walks the dog with a soda in his hand and waves at people with a weird smile on his face as if they don’t know what it sounds like when he gets himself off (or when he gets you off)
he flirts with meemaws at the grocery store at 10am (if he gets up that early) because they all think he’s big and strong and handsome when he gets heavy or high items down from the shelf for them. he sits in his underwear at the computer and plays video games with foreign teenagers online.
he goes out shopping and tries on like 80 different outfits (including strange hats/skirts/dresses/etc.) and takes a bajillion photos, some of which he sends to you. catfishes creepy guys online and argues with people on reddit for fun.
he decides to paint the mailbox weird colors or work on a scrapbook he plans to give you one day. doordashes ice cream and laundry detergent because he forgot to get some at the store (and he was craving sweets). he lets the neighbor girls play with his hair and put makeup on him before someone sees and says “don’t play with that man, he’s weird,” but he would never do anything to them. burns a batch of cookies because his foreign online gaming bff braxton from california said he needed him for a last-minute raid.
he puts on a random dress from the closet and dances weirdly around the house to loud music while he cleans up the mess he mostly made. stands in the middle of the living room and rubs one out to a photo of you because he just had the sudden urge (and now he has another mess to clean up). has to set a timer to make sure to start thawing the chicken early for dinner because he started a new drama show and keeps forgetting, and you’re starving when you come home.
does any of that on a given day but when you ask him what he does while you’re at work he just says:
IJBOL Oh god. For whatever reason, Brad’s neighbor Luke’s diagnosis still made him laugh. Why couldn’t he just stop? Luke was standing right there, and his boyfriend Chris wasn’t helping.
Click!
The photo Chris took of Brad hit Insta 10 seconds later.
