Imbibitor Lunae Dan Heng X Reader - Tumblr Posts

꒰ synopsis: in which you finally meet the reincarnation of your past lover.꒱

dan heng x fem!reader, sfw, fated soulmates, dan heng is confused, slight angst if you squint, i wanted to make something tearjerker for a change but! i ended up writing a happy end for this still! wc: 1.6k

fate was such a cruel thing.

dan heng stood there, silently watching as your back was facing away from his, talking to jing yuan as the battle from earlier was now dissipated.

he was in a state of dilemma.

after finally transforming to his former vidyadhara self, the imbibitor lunae, so many happened at once that lead to this fateful reunion that many did not expect to happen. even to himself.

he was the kind of man that wanted to tend to his own problems, the weight which he had grown tired the most was carrying the burden of his past sins, the burden of being in someone else's shadow.

he was not dan feng anymore, he was just dan heng. the present him that finally embraced the truth of his own past and now wants to move on.

to settle this once and for all, was something he needed to do. what he wished to do so that he could not be shackled anymore from his past being.

as he was mulling over the words that he wished to convey to you, it almost felt like he couldn't breathe once he saw you finally approaching him.

he could see from his peripheral view that yingxing, even jing yuan managed to give you both some space, of course he thought, they were solely the ones who knew about your past with him.

the distance between you both felt like it should've stayed that way.

the pain of having to see your past lover in front of you but not the lover you once knew was a different kind of pain. it was gnawing. you didn't want to show that to him, that you were weak, that it was almost hard for you to look at him like this.

it took a while for you to open your mouth, neither of you moved from your spot. the sky was now becoming a vivid orange, signaling that dusk was drawing near.

"i am not him." those were the first words you heard from him after all the years that you've not spoken to each other.

it definitely was a start, but even if the pain was starting to become unbearable, you still gave him a smile which dan heng was taken aback. his striking blue eyes seemingly wavered at the sight.

"of course you aren't. the 'you' that you are now, is not the dan feng that i used to know."

dan heng took a moment to process your words. was that a hint of sadness he heard in your tone?

the memories of his past was all but a faded dream to him, he should have forgotten the memories of dan feng with his past lover but even so, he could not ignore the way his heart clenched seeing you like this. because even if he dreamt of you from his past, once he got to saw you again, the you that was now in front of him was as clear as the sky above him.

it felt like torture.

why was he hesitating now of all times? he should be spilling those words that he wanted to say since earlier. making it clear to you, that he was not the man that you once cherished before and he didn't want to do anything that could make him remember the past anymore.

"it's okay dan heng..you need not to say anything more. i understand now. i am just happy to see that you are doing well this time."

the words you'd given him were all kind, from the beginning, there was not a hint of any malice from you. which he expected for you to feel , because if his memory of leaving everything behind was correct, it was his choice to leave that life of his. his choice to also leave you.

this feeling of remorse, was it because he was still tied with dan feng? or because..

even now, speaking to him, you did not even spoke his former name, or his past. you were just acknowledging the fact that this was real. that you already knew that this was bound to happen.

his thoughts paused from the sound of someone calling out his name. "dan heng!" he glanced from his side as he saw his team, his newfound friends in this life, waving over to let him know that they were there, waiting for him.

once he turned his gaze back to yours, you were already taking a step back from him. "you should go. they seem eager to have you back."

he unconsciously clenched his hands from his sides. this was supposed to make him feel at ease now. and you just made it easy for him to finally let go.

dan heng nodded at your admission before giving you a slight bow, now turning his back on you.

one..

two..

not even three steps in, he felt his jaw clenched, closing his eyes for a moment before flashes of those fragment memories with you felt like a stab to him.

"do you believe in reincarnations dan feng?"

your hands always felt soft. he was laying his head on your lap as you two bathe in the peaceful glow as the sun was beginning to set. the wind swaying over the wisteria tree above you.

"why do you ask?" he did not need to open his eyes to know that you were smiling above him, hands continued to caress his soft hair.

"i'm beginning to believe that it's real. i wish we could meet each other again in our next lives." there was something behind your voice that urged him to finally open his eyes to look at your expression.

he was right. your eyes seemed to be glossed over, wearing a melancholic smile that he so wanted to replace with your usual soft ones.

"then i vow to search for you in my next one."

when he opened his eyes again, it didn't take a while for him to turn his body to face yours, you were already walking over to the other side.

you felt a sudden tug before you whirled around with widened tearful eyes as you took in his appearance again. his hand traveling from your arm to your wrist, your heart felt like it was hammering behind your chest.

"dan heng..."

if there was any lingering doubt left in him, the soft look in your eyes confirmed it for him.

just as he realized that it was hard for him to let this go, to let you go, it was the same thing for you.

that expression that you showed him earlier was merely a facade of what you truly felt. he knew of that.

"you call me by this name now, but with that expression, why so?"

his gaze was now fixed on yours, not wanting to let you evade his question.

and the moment when he heard your broken voice, it felt like something broke within him too.

"in..every..single..lifetime..."

the sheer longing in your voice, and the effort it took for you to keep those tears from spilling was all too telling for him.

his expression now softened. before he could stop himself, the only thing he could mutter was, "come here."

and before you could even register his words, dan heng gently enveloped you around his arms.

his embrace was gentle, yet warm and it was real all the same, his presence alone giving you a sense of comfort.

there was something about this moment between the two of you that felt so familiar despite the fact that it was your first time meeting in your current incarnations.

you had no words for it, but perhaps he knew?

"i longed for this.." you couldn't help but to finally let your tears flow as you begin to nuzzle your face on his chest.

dan heng's heart almost melted. the word 'longing' was always tied between you two. he knew he was being himself right now, he was not going to the way he was before but in his path of becoming the person he is now, something always felt missing. and he knew by meeting you again that you were that final piece that he was looking for. thus, planning to finally tear this invisible string that held him back, but not wanting to go through it now.

he'd embrace the present him, he would not bind himself for the sins that dan feng did before, but he wanted the most right now was to not let this go again. because even in this state, the connection he had with you, was the one thing he truly wanted to take care of even in his past life. leaving all that behind was fulfilling but leaving you? that was the one thing he believe that he could not handle again.

"i longed for this too. i longed for you." he whispered, his voice quivering slightly as his hands gently moved to cup your face, "i may not be the lover you once had, i am not dan feng anymore. but that vow i still remember clearly. i vow to you now, not as him, but as dan heng. as my own being now, to not let you slip away from my grasp again." his thumbs now caressing your cheeks. you could see his own eyes welling up as they stared down at your face.

"you remembered.." he notes the way your eyes brighten at his words, your tear stained cheeks were now tinged pink, as he continued to wipe your tears away.

as your eyes met his once more, dan heng couldn't help but feel a warm sensation run through his body. your gaze, your proximity, every little movement you made was like having a glimpse of your past selves' life together.

the next moment, dan heng leaned forward, his lips now hovering just an inch from yours.

"i always do, when it comes to you."

this was the kind of memory that he wishes to not erase, be all as it may, but you were the only exception.

ⓒ blushfwul interactions of any kind is much appreciated ♡