Incorrect Amelia Shepherd - Tumblr Posts

Amelia: Italics.

Amelia: Yeah, Italians.

Amelia: Two brooooos!

Kai: Chillin' in a hot tub!

Amelia: Five feet apart 'cause we're not gay!

Kai:

Amelia:

Kai: *tearing up*

Amelia: Babe, c'mon...

Kai: AND HERE YOU REALLY HAD ME THINKING WE HAD SOMETHING.

Amelia: Babe...

Kai, ordering coffee: I’d like 4 sugars-

Amelia: You're kinda ugly.

Amelia: Hey Kai?

Kai: Yeah?

Amelia: What's your favorite color of the alphabet? True or false?

Kai:

Kai: ...What.

Kai: If you could guess, how many brain cells do you have?

Amelia: Dorito’s cool ranch.

Kai:

Kai: I'm just gonna assume zero for now.

Amelia: I love that song.

Amelia: Look, last night was a mistake.

Kai: A sexy mistake.

Amelia: No, just a regular mistake.

Amelia: Can I have a private talk with you?

Kai: Okay, as long as it’s not about tampons because I just don’t understand them.

Amelia: *holding a salt packet* It’s just a little sodium chloride.

Kai: Actually Amelia, it’s salt.

Amelia: That’s what I said, sodium chloride.

Kai: Uh Amelia, that would be salt.

Kai: *takes salt packer from Amelia* This is iodized table salt, which in addition to sodium chloride contains anti-caking agents and potassium iodate, which is added to prevent iodine deficiency. So not only are you being overly pretentious by insisting on using scientific terminology for everyday items, you are factually wrong. Your arrogance is your downfall, you annoying little shit.

Amelia: So what are your political beliefs?

Kai, awkwardly trying to impress her: Well, I think Pikachu would be a lot more powerful if he had a gun.

*At a speed dating event*

Amelia: Oh wow, people are really shallow.

Kai: Consider it a background check. For example: Do you have a death certificate?

Amelia: *Checks their pulse* Sorry, not yet.

Kai: Good, I'm not fucking a ghost again.

Amelia: Some could say our research is outta this world!

Kai:

Amelia: You get it?

Kai: ... not really

Amelia: ... yeah there wasn't really a punchline

Amelia: I admire the betta fish because i also am beautiful and want to fight everyone