It Is Devastating - Tumblr Posts

Ok but like Tim’s having a bad day. Or maybe he was having a bad morning? He wasn’t sure.

He had just pulled another all-nighter, staying up to work one of their cases while the others patrolled.

And he knew he should’ve just gone to bed, and honestly, he really did mean to, but every time he shut his eyes, he thought about the children that were kidnapped and it was easier to just keep working.

Eventually someone dragged him up for breakfast and he made a halfhearted attempt to stay, to keep trying. He relented pretty quickly thought, since Alfred would have killed him if he didn’t attend when they so many of them over.

Ok maybe that’s a little dramatic, but he would’ve given him that disappointed face that makes you feel really guilty and that was basically the same thing.

Alfred said something about his coffee privileges being revoked until he got some sleep. Tim was half tempted to argue but then he thought back to the cave and how there might have been more coffee cups there than he remembered this family owning. (No one knows where he keeps getting the mugs, least of all himself)

At breakfast there were more people than usual. Dick was staying in Gotham for a while and Jason had stayed the night for convenience, something about patrol going later than usual yesterday.

Duke was being his usual “I actually slept last night because I go out during the day unlike you losers,” cheery self.

Who knows what Damien was saying, as long as he wasn’t talking to or looking at Tim, he was fine.

Tim wasn’t really paying attention to what was going on around him. He always felt a little alone at the table when Cass wasn’t there. He thinks they were probably talking about some of the cases they were working on, he stayed out of it, knowing that Alfred hated cave talk at the table.

But then someone mentioned something about the case he was working on and the missing children and Tim finally somewhat tuned into the conversation.

They asked him how it was going.

Tim mentioned the possibility of the children being dead.

Dick was a bit upset at that, said something about not losing hope.

Tim responded that it wasn’t about hope, that it honestly might be better if they were dead and that’s why they couldn’t find them.

Tim knew there were things worse than death, all of them knew there were things worse than death.

He remembers there were times he would’ve preferred death.

The others didn’t really see it that way. They thought he was being morbid and a bit insensitive.

Tim knew he was too tired for this. Knew from the quiet indifference and numbness he was so intimately familiar seeping into his bones. Knew that he should leave before the indifference flips into mania.

Knew there was no one to help calm him down afterword

Duke tried to awkwardly laugh it off, he didn’t really like how the conversation was going and tried to steer it away.

Jason cracked some joke about being dead and it was stupid, and Tim didn’t think it was funny, but the others laughed, if only to get rid of the awkwardness.

It was kinda funny when he thought about it, that Jason got to leave while JJ had to stay

Someone else said something clever. Suddenly everyone was going back and forth, and everyone was laughing.

Someone told Tim he should be laughing to.

Bad things happen when JJ doesn’t laugh

And Tim’s chair was screeching back, and they were still laughing a bit when he said, “that’s not funny.”

That’s not funny

That’s not funny

And his voice was a little breathy, that kind of breathy that makes it seem like he was having trouble breathing.

And Dick was the first to look at him when he says that, thinking something must be wrong, but his laughter renews when he sees the huge grin that broke out on his little brother’s face.

But his face is stretched too wide and it’s painful, and his giggles are turning into manic laughter while his family's are getting quieter until he doesn’t think he can hear them anymore.

It’s just so funny.

Thinking a very normal amount about Tim being joker junior.

Thinking about Jason dying and Tim becoming robin out of necessity.

Thinking about Bruce not noticing Tim has been kidnapped because surely, surely his parents would file a report. Surely Tim must have been dragged into going on a trip with them and just didn’t mention it.

Thinking of Bruce not questioning things correctly because he is too busy grieving the previous robin.

Thinking of Bruce just thinking Joker Junior is a random kid.

Thinking of Barbra being the one to notice instead.

Thinking of Barbra consoling Tim after he kills the Joker.

Thinking of her taking Tim and letting him heal in the Drake estate.

Thinking of a file Bruce Wayne makes called Joker junior, one that Tim never looks at, that talks about a kid who killed the Joker and has been missing ever since.

Thinking of, months later, when robin returns to Bruce’s side, it just so happens to coincide with the return of Jack and Janet.

Thinking of Tim thinking Barbra must have told Bruce, but he just never came to see him. And that’s fine, because it isn’t as if they are family, Tim is just here to make sure Bats doesn’t go off the deep end again.

Thinking of Barbra not telling Bruce, because surely he already knows, he’s the world’s greatest detective. Plus she isn’t one to talk about other people’s trauma when they aren’t around.

Thinking of Tim hiding his laughter, because Batman would never let him keep patrolling if he knew he was still having fits.

Thinking of Dick not being there most of the time, and when he is, he mostly spends it arguing with Bruce.

Thinking of Tim knowing that Dick must know because he hears them fighting about the joker being dead once, although he did leave pretty soon after when he feels the laughter bubbling up in his throat.

Thinking of Jason coming back, attacking him at the titains tower, and telling him that he’s read all his files and knows everything about Tim. Obviously Tim takes this to mean he knows that Tim killed the joker as JJ. Because why wouldn’t that be in his file.

Thinking of Jason not having time to question when the little Robin who replaced him starts manically laughing once he sees him, because as soon as he hears the familiar laugh the green takes over completely.

Thinking of Tim finally feeling in control of himself, but then worst year ever happens. His parents are dead, Bruce is lost in the time stream, all his friends are dead, Robin is stolen from him, and everyone thinks he is crazy. He starts to relapse.

Thinking of Tim actually going a little bit crazy after that, trying to clone Bart and Kon, joining the league of assassins, doing all those crazy things he did during worst year ever.

Thinking of Cass learning after saving Tim from the daughter of Acheron. There isn’t much he can do but explain after she witnesses one of his fits.

Thinking about years later, when everyone has relationships more akin to Batman: Wayne family adventures, Tim still feels a little out of the group.

Thinking of everyone getting mad when he talks about the Joker, especially if it’s in front of Jason.

Thinking of Tim going silent or making himself scarce everytime the Joker is mentioned.

Thinking of a Tim who finds an excuse not to go out when Harley Quinn is.

Thinking of a Tim who hasn’t had an episode in years.

Thinking of a Tim who watches Jason get all this support for his trauma, while he doesn’t.

Thinking of him going to Barbra or Cass anytime he has a set back because they are the only ones who seem to care.

Thinking of a Wayne family who doesn’t know.

Thinking of a Tim who Knows they Know, but they just don’t care.