| ITS LIFE. LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS. ( VERSE ) - Tumblr Posts

@causedmayhem | gird your loins. 

📎| two am cannot come fast enough.  there are cupcakes to bake& things to not give a shit about.  valuable time to  waste    on more important endeavors.  & yet. door ding.                                          “   oh god   ------ “  filter max, at least attempt it. come on.                 “ hi, i’m max. i’ll be serving you                      your food poisoning this evening ---                          (  NOPE  )     tell me, did edward scissorhands                                               get real creative with that shrubbery                                               or did he just buttfuck bruce wayne? “ 

@mosaiichearts | asked for angry max

📎|       “ HEY   ! ----                             knockoff   barbie ! “ 

📎|  studio audience goes oooh              “ oh - NO ,                        do not act like you didn’t just walk straight                        out of a dollar general in cheap packaging.                 also SHE --- “  side glance,  serena, circle point.                                     “ ----- is      flawless.                  YOU   ----  on the other hand, seem to be confused ;                  about the difference between your ass & your mouth. “ 

       ❛ s ? i think it’s talking at you ! ❜

@aluminummonster | gave me their heart.

📎|   “ T H A T        -----------------------             dear sweet,     person i don’t care about.              will be served cold, with a side of hell no. “ 

📎| “ actually     i just sit around &            wait until that inevitable day my            landlord tells me close my eyes            & bend over        ---------------------                         & chill out, paranoia. no one wants that. “ 

        ✦ ; //   @adroitbedfellows·    (LIKED FOR A STARTER)

         “what do you do exactly?   do you live at home? do you rent to own?  do you have a purpose in life aside from simply irritating me   —  you’ve been staring at me all night, and i’m TIRED of it.”

@unendiing // gave a heart for song 

📎| “   too  bad  the groom’s bride                    is a          (   ---------  WHORE .   “  i write sins not tragedies // panic! at the disco 

📎| “ that is unfortunate --    as it comes           free with this gift you never purchased.                  NOW  you’ve been sitting for half an hour                  & i’d like to get to ignoring my other job so                   please order something, anything --  you’ll                   regret it later, any of it -  so no hard choice. “ 

“ Ex- cuuuuuse me, I have enough SNARK on my own,             I REALLY don’t need yours, lady. ”

📎|  fight. fight. fight. fight. fight.  an heiress’ so called daggers & blows are ineffective.      barely  even noticed,not taken in at all.       “ ----------------       HA   !                  jokes on you,    lady    i don’t have a life.                  & frankly, if you continue to yap that obv -                  iously manufactured mouth about my fri -                  end over here, you won’t have one either. “ 

❛ —- have you seen yourself ? can you afford a mirror ? that awful uniform looks like it was made in china by child slaves oh ! and don’t even get me started on your appearance in general. not even a nose job could bring symmetry back into your face. ❜ brows furrow and lips purse annoyance clearly written upon ivory features.                             ❛ do you even know who i am ? or just how EASY              it is for me to destroy your life with a simple click of my fingers ?  ❜

📎| “ is   this   neckline   cut                                         TOO FAR ? “

    ❝ now, i know she isn’t the most PLEASANT when it comes        to people. but isn’t whore a bit, i don’t know,      TOO FAR ❞

@omnesvoces

📎|       “ ---- cheers. “ 

📎| “    ex -----    ACTLY                    never  too far. me? no.                     she’s just pretty & rich&                     a good person   ----- like                       who does she think she is,     OPRAH ? “  

    ❝ i don’t think you and the words ‘TOO FAR’        can exist in the same room.  ❞

📎|  “ let me guess -----               fruity       with an umbrella                                      or SEVEN. “ 

    “ — if I must.” 

📎| “ go tell her chains & whips excite you ------           maybe you’ll get a   big tip                                        or a staff infection, but you                                       know hey      -  roll the dice.  “ 

♚ ┊  & @adroitbedfellows.

               ❛  Max, I think fat Rihanna over there is sitting on a vibrator. She keeps giving me THAT LOOK and I don’t ever want to hear that sound falling from her lips ever again !!  ❜

📎|“ um ----------------   {   N O   }                that would be    XOLOVE    by               the fragrance artists of dollar tree. “ 

      ❝ do i– ❞ a pause, a finger held MIDAIR, it is not max’s turn to       speak just yet and then a drawn out SNIFF.

      ❝ is that JEALOUSY i smell? i think it is. ❞

📎| “ you know ----------   for someone who has to           watch  nicholas sparks movies   for a cheap thrill                      you are    SUPER     picky. “ 

                 ❛  This is  ———–                                                      No.  We might need money but I’m not that desperate. I’m too pretty for HER,  plus, she looks like she could eat me if I’m not careful.  ❜

📎|  “ FINE ----   but go get her moldy sandwich                                   before oleg fills it with his special                                   sauce.  &  then no bitch is getting                                       her money.   “ 

           ❛  ————  I’m still not doing HER.  ❜

📎| “ aren’t you a little         young           to deprive yourself of simple pleasures? “   

    “How about straight vodka with a twist of lime.”                                            ( she’s watching her calorie intake ) 

📎| “ i’m pretty   hard   to convince.            ---- unless theres tequila involved                then i wouldn’t ever bet on me. “  

@adroitbedfellows

       ‘ you don’t sound convinced by them. ‘

📎|  “ yeah                  ---- & oprah      is   a              F R I G I D   B I T C H. “ 

            one count of silence. two now. she sighs & crosses her arms over her chest; she’ll firmly stand her ground. ‘ i don’t have an attitude problem. ‘ 

@adroitbedfellows liked for a thing 

📎| oh god. bite it max. keep it in. nope ( fuck you binx ) i CANNOT.                “  true -----              she pretty much throws out    cash      & cars to greedy little audience members                    like free t-shirts at sporting events so   ...               ( pause )         also, it means you             have an    attitude    problem.  “ 

           ‘ .  .  .  i don’t know what that means, so i’m gonna CHOOSE not to get offended. & don’t talk about oprah that way, she’s helped, like, tons of people. ‘