| ITS LIFE. LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS. ( VERSE ) - Tumblr Posts
@causedmayhem | gird your loins.
📎| two am cannot come fast enough. there are cupcakes to bake& things to not give a shit about. valuable time to waste on more important endeavors. & yet. door ding. “ oh god ------ “ filter max, at least attempt it. come on. “ hi, i’m max. i’ll be serving you your food poisoning this evening --- ( NOPE ) tell me, did edward scissorhands get real creative with that shrubbery or did he just buttfuck bruce wayne? “
@mosaiichearts | asked for angry max
📎| “ HEY ! ---- knockoff barbie ! “
📎| studio audience goes oooh “ oh - NO , do not act like you didn’t just walk straight out of a dollar general in cheap packaging. also SHE --- “ side glance, serena, circle point. “ ----- is flawless. YOU ---- on the other hand, seem to be confused ; about the difference between your ass & your mouth. “
❛ s ? i think it’s talking at you ! ❜
@aluminummonster | gave me their heart.
📎| “ T H A T ----------------------- dear sweet, person i don’t care about. will be served cold, with a side of hell no. “
📎| “ actually i just sit around & wait until that inevitable day my landlord tells me close my eyes & bend over --------------------- & chill out, paranoia. no one wants that. “
✦ ; // @adroitbedfellows· (LIKED FOR A STARTER)
“what do you do exactly? do you live at home? do you rent to own? do you have a purpose in life aside from simply irritating me — you’ve been staring at me all night, and i’m TIRED of it.”
@unendiing // gave a heart for song
📎| “ too bad the groom’s bride is a ( --------- WHORE . “ i write sins not tragedies // panic! at the disco
📎| “ that is unfortunate -- as it comes free with this gift you never purchased. NOW you’ve been sitting for half an hour & i’d like to get to ignoring my other job so please order something, anything -- you’ll regret it later, any of it - so no hard choice. “
“ Ex- cuuuuuse me, I have enough SNARK on my own, I REALLY don’t need yours, lady. ”
📎| fight. fight. fight. fight. fight. an heiress’ so called daggers & blows are ineffective. barely even noticed,not taken in at all. “ ---------------- HA ! jokes on you, lady i don’t have a life. & frankly, if you continue to yap that obv - iously manufactured mouth about my fri - end over here, you won’t have one either. “
❛ —- have you seen yourself ? can you afford a mirror ? that awful uniform looks like it was made in china by child slaves oh ! and don’t even get me started on your appearance in general. not even a nose job could bring symmetry back into your face. ❜ brows furrow and lips purse annoyance clearly written upon ivory features. ❛ do you even know who i am ? or just how EASY it is for me to destroy your life with a simple click of my fingers ? ❜
📎| “ is this neckline cut TOO FAR ? “
❝ now, i know she isn’t the most PLEASANT when it comes to people. but isn’t whore a bit, i don’t know, TOO FAR ❞
@omnesvoces
📎| “ ---- cheers. “
📎| “ ex ----- ACTLY never too far. me? no. she’s just pretty & rich& a good person ----- like who does she think she is, OPRAH ? “
❝ i don’t think you and the words ‘TOO FAR’ can exist in the same room. ❞
📎| “ let me guess ----- fruity with an umbrella or SEVEN. “
“ — if I must.”
📎| “ go tell her chains & whips excite you ------ maybe you’ll get a big tip or a staff infection, but you know hey - roll the dice. “
♚ ┊ & @adroitbedfellows.
❛ Max, I think fat Rihanna over there is sitting on a vibrator. She keeps giving me THAT LOOK and I don’t ever want to hear that sound falling from her lips ever again !! ❜
📎|“ um ---------------- { N O } that would be XOLOVE by the fragrance artists of dollar tree. “
❝ do i– ❞ a pause, a finger held MIDAIR, it is not max’s turn to speak just yet and then a drawn out SNIFF.
❝ is that JEALOUSY i smell? i think it is. ❞
📎| “ you know ---------- for someone who has to watch nicholas sparks movies for a cheap thrill you are SUPER picky. “
❛ This is ———– No. We might need money but I’m not that desperate. I’m too pretty for HER, plus, she looks like she could eat me if I’m not careful. ❜
📎| “ FINE ---- but go get her moldy sandwich before oleg fills it with his special sauce. & then no bitch is getting her money. “
❛ ———— I’m still not doing HER. ❜
📎| “ aren’t you a little young to deprive yourself of simple pleasures? “
“How about straight vodka with a twist of lime.” ( she’s watching her calorie intake )
📎| “ i’m pretty hard to convince. ---- unless theres tequila involved then i wouldn’t ever bet on me. “
@adroitbedfellows
‘ you don’t sound convinced by them. ‘
📎| “ yeah ---- & oprah is a F R I G I D B I T C H. “
one count of silence. two now. she sighs & crosses her arms over her chest; she’ll firmly stand her ground. ‘ i don’t have an attitude problem. ‘
@adroitbedfellows liked for a thing
📎| oh god. bite it max. keep it in. nope ( fuck you binx ) i CANNOT. “ true ----- she pretty much throws out cash & cars to greedy little audience members like free t-shirts at sporting events so ... ( pause ) also, it means you have an attitude problem. “
‘ . . . i don’t know what that means, so i’m gonna CHOOSE not to get offended. & don’t talk about oprah that way, she’s helped, like, tons of people. ‘