Jihoon Angst - Tumblr Posts
snippet of His Call, Siren!Jihoon because it kept getting longer and longer since I hate myself. I need something posted for his birthday though
You breathed into the kiss as you gave into him. He tasted sweet and addicting like you would never be able to get enough no matter how much you surrender your lips to him.
He grabbed hold of your thighs, picking you up as he continued kissing. It felt like he was breathing life into you.
Somehow he made it back to his bedroom without ever relinquishing your lips, the feeling too sweet to not savor.
The moisture on your bodies didn’t bother either of you as he laid you on the bed. He finally found the strength to pull away, opting to look over you instead. Only wearing one of the sleep shirts you brought with you. As he stared into your eyes the feeling of something against your panty-clad core threatened to bring your eyes down but a strong hand on the side of your face and his hungry, sultry eyes stuck on yours made it impossible. He answered the question for you though as he grinded down on you. Your head tried to lull back at the sensation while a honeyed sound left your unoccupied lips but his hand kept it in place. Your gaze now lidded with the beginnings of his pleasure.
It wasn’t the first time you felt him against you but why did it feel so ardently lustful.
The near indecent way his cock is moving against you has you seeing stars. Why can’t this be real? Because it isn’t right?
The question of reality slips from your mind as you feel the tip prodding at your entrance. He reaches down to grab the base of his member, lining up perfectly to slide in. However, he does the opposite. He pushes in so quickly you instinctively try to move away from him. His grip on you is firm enough to keep you from going anywhere as he swiftly fills you. You whimper, the pain not offset enough by how wet he made you in a short period of time.
“Shhhh.” you hear against your ear before he starts singing the familiar song.
{this and a demon's deal are getting longer and longer and I'm going insane. pls enjoy them when they come out}
i want to write you a song
pairing; lee jihoon (woozi) x f!reader
genre; smut (minor dni), angst, fluff
summary; You have the best job in the world as Lee Jihoon's personal assistant but his secrets are starting to turn your world upside down.
content warnings; personal assistant!reader, ceo/boss!jihoon, single dad!jihoon, children, grandparents/parents, jihoon has a sibling, coworkers!soonyoung, mingyu, & wonwoo, soonyoung in a menace, eating/drinking, alcohol, jealousy, crying, self confidence/esteem issues, death of a family member (in the past).
smut warnings; unprotected sex, pulling out, cream pie, simp!jihoon, mild dom!jihoon, sub!reader, the dom/sub dynamics are very subtle, dumbification (very mild), innocence kink, lingerie kink, pet names, praise (like a lot -- he is a simp), body worship, oral (f receiving), fingering, handjob, crying (from pleasure and happiness), manhandling, masturbation, pillow princess!reader, i am sure there are more (let me know if its glaring) -- bonus section has its own warnings on patreon.
w/c; 27k and some change (3.2k extra words for patreon bonus)
a/n; thank you to @junkissed and @seokgyuu for helping me come up with a title for this! it's a 1D song, and I do not go here, but it's a very cute song and title! also thank you to my june for proofreading for me and always being the best in the fucking world. literally going through 30k words of my bullshit... the mvp! anyway, i hope you guys enjoy me simping over simp dlif jihoon! next month is spooky seasons so keep your eyes peeled for that one 💀!
before continuing remember reblogs are incredibly important and please read how to support me here
Whining under your breath, you clutch the drink holder to your chest as you watch the door close in front of you. It didn’t seem to matter how quickly you were trying to get your feet to move in your heels; the door closing was like an impending doom. That was how your entire day felt from the moment you woke up. You were trying to be good at your job. For the past month, you had been doing your best to make a good impression at the company and on your new boss, but it seemed like something would happen to make you look like an idiot.
“No, no, no! Fuck!” The words come from your lips louder than you intended as you try to put the toe of your shoe between the door and the frame, only to be a second to late watching it close with a deafening clang in front of you. Stomping your foot out of frustration, you feel something cold and wet seeping through the front of your shirt, drawing your eyes down. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.”
The world was out to get you. That was the only excuse you had as you moved the drink tray from your chest, seeing the coffee stain spreading along your chest towards your stomach. In your temper tantrum, you had managed to knock the lid off one of the coffees, and now you were wearing your mistake.
Tears prick at your eyes as you try to balance the drinks in one hand and your bags in the other to fish for your badge. Sniffing back your frustration and embarrassment, you barely glance to your left as someone uses their badge to open the door and hold it open for you. “Thanks… I’m such a mess.”
Jihoon grins at you as you pout down at your shirt. You were a mess. You had been a bit of a mess from the moment he hired you, but he didn’t seem to mind. You were still good at your job. You were easy on the eyes, good with his schedule, and you had never missed a day of work—even if you were a couple minutes late. “I have some things upstairs, Miss Y/L/N. Don’t worry about it. Let me take the coffee.”
The sound of your boss's voice makes your eyes widen as you look in his direction, a soft gasp escaping from your mouth as your lips part in shock. You had been trying so hard to beat him back to the office. You were trying to make a good impression on him and the others in the office by providing an afternoon coffee every single day—today you were failing.
“Mr. Lee… Oh, I—no, sir. I can—” Shaking his head, Jihoon slides his fingers over yours, taking the tray from your hand before gesturing towards the door once again. “You do too much, Miss Y/L/N. Did one of the guys tell you to pick these up? They shouldn’t. It’s not your job.”
Taking a step forward, you stumble, feeling Jihoon’s hand on your lower back guide you through the door. Shaking your head, you pull your jacket over your coffee-stained shirt and press your lips together as you adjust your bags to both arms and dare to glance at your boss once again. “No… I just thought they might like them. A little pick-me-up. One for you too.”
Jihoon smirks softly as he moves his hand from your back to press the call button for the elevator for the both of you. Lifting his brow, he looks back at the drinks in his hand before sighing and tilting his head. “You’re kind. It’s not necessary. I rarely drink coffee, honestly.”
Watching your face fall in disappointment, Jihoon sighs, following you into the elevator before shaking his head. “But, with that said... I am very appreciative and I’ll enjoy it today, Miss Y/L/N. It’s been a long day, hasn’t it?”
Nodding, you swallow hard, thinking back to all the days over the month when you had brought him coffee and saw the confusion on his face as he slid it away. He really didn’t like coffee, did he? You should pay more attention. “It has. Um, I–sir? If you don’t like coffee, what do you like?”
The ding of the elevator draws Jihoon’s eyes up to the numbers at the top of the door before he grins at your question. You were so cute; it was endearing. You were trying too hard to impress him when you already had. Sighing softly, Jihoon nods his head forward, waiting for you to get off the elevator first when the doors open, before he walks beside you, meeting your gaze. “Coke Zero, actually.”
It was so unexpected for someone like Lee Jihoon. He was the CEO and star producer of Ruby Entertainment. You expected someone like him, someone who was on the cover of magazines, who had more money than God to drink merlot for breakfast, yet he preferred a Coke Zero for an afternoon pick-up. Grinning, you nod as you drop your bags at your desk and offer to take the drink tray from Jihoon. “I’ll remember that.”
Giving you a slow once-over, Jihoon meets your eyes and laughs under his breath. “I’m sure you will; you’re good at details.” Starting to turn towards his office, Jihoon stops and gestures towards you and back to his office. “I have extra button-ups in my office closet. You’re welcome to wear one. Might be a little ill-fitting, but...”
Taking a deep breath, you think about his offer before nodding. You were internally freaking out over the idea of wearing your boss's clothes, but you could feel the wet shirt against your skin at this point and something dry was tempting. Reaching for one of the coffees, Jihoon smirks at you before nodding his head towards his office, not waiting for you to follow him as he brings the drink to his lips and takes a sip.
Glancing around Jihoon’s office, you watch him move to his desk as if he hadn’t just offered you his clothes before you look at the farthest wall where the closet in question is located. You had put plenty of things in it. That was one of your jobs—pick up dry cleaning, bring it back to the office and put it in the closet. Jihoon liked to work out before work and needed something to change into.
Sighing to yourself, you shake the thought of Jihoon fresh from the gym in the morning from your head as you cross the room and open the closet, looking over the neatly pressed button-ups. Watching you from his desk, Jihoon makes a small face at the taste of his coffee before smiling to himself as you stare at the shirts in the closet as if there is a wrong choice in front of you. He didn’t have that many different options. He wasn’t an adventurous man when it came to his clothes. He wore white, black, blue, and gray.
“Pick anything, Miss Y/L/N. Any of them will look lovely on you.”
That wasn’t helping. You were trying not to panic as you laughed awkwardly and glanced over your shoulder to nod politely towards Jihoon before picking out a white button-up and pulling it towards you. “This one, I guess. I’ll bring it back after I have it dry cleaned, sir.”
Jihoon watches as you stumble over your feet in your heels, quickly making your way towards his office door. Leaning forward in case you were to fall, he sighs when you reach out your hand and laugh at yourself. “I’m okay, Mr. Lee. Just going to change quickly and get back to work. I apologize for all the inconvenience.”
Settling back in his chair, Jihoon shakes his head as his door closes and he watches you rush towards the bathroom with his shirt in your hands. Muttering under his breath, he takes another sip of his drink as he looks at his computer screen, scrolling through emails. “You’re not an inconvenience, Y/N…”
Resting the straw of his coffee against his lips, Soonyoung smirks at you as he tilts his head, giving you a once-over. You were attractive—there was no questioning that. What was making him give you a second and third glance today as you passed out your cute little afternoon coffees was that your shirt was different than it had been before lunch. It was too big for you, almost as if—”Ya, Y/N? Are you wearing your boyfriend’s clothes to work? Did you do something spicy at lunch?”
Your fingers almost slip from the coffee in your hand as you offer the last one to Wonwoo, his eyes moving to your shirt as Mingyu leans back in his chair to get a better look at you. Your face was on fire and you wanted to kill Kwon Soonyoung.
“What? No! Oh my god... I don’t—shut up. No, I don’t even… I’m not dating anyone, Soonyoung. I had an accident with the coffee. This is Mr. Lee—” Stopping mid-explanation, you avoid the eyes of the three men even as you feel Soonyoung’s smirk get wider out of the corner of your eye. “Shut the fuck up... No, you are not wearing Jihoon’s clothes! You little slut.”
Sinking down in your chair outside of Jihoon’s office, you rest your head in your hands as Wonwoo tells Soonyoung to stop teasing you, but the man just laughs, catcalling from across the room even as he gets sheet music thrown in his direction by Mingyu.
“Leave her alone, Soonyoung. She’s gonna pass out.” Even though Mingyu was "helping," you could hear the teasing in his voice. He wasn’t much better than Soonyoung. You could feel his eyes moving over you from his desk and as you met his eyes, you instantly regretted it as he smirked. “You look hot, Y/N. I bet Jihoon was losing his fuckin’ mind seeing you in his—”
The sound of Jihoon’s office door opening to your right causes everyone to stop teasing, though a few snickers remain. Staring at your laptop, you hear Jihoon clear his throat before you dare glance at him, seeing a soft smile on his face. At least he wasn’t like the other idiots you worked with. He was professional. He would never make you feel uncomfortable. He didn’t like you the way that Soonyoung or Mingyu thought that he did. That was ridiculous.
“I hate to ask you for a favor after such a long day, but—have you met, uh, Haein?” Furrowing your brows, you shake your head. You had heard the name, but you hadn’t met the woman the name belonged to. You assumed she must be someone important to Jihoon—a sister, aunt, or significant other. You hadn’t let your mind linger.
“Right… I forget how short of a time you’ve been here. Uh, shit. This is not what I hired you for, but at the same time…” Glancing at his watch, Jihoon sighs and meets your eyes once more. “Do you know where the elementary school is on the corner of Fifth and Cline?”
Now you are even more confused. You could hear the others in the room whispering, but you didn’t have time to give them a thought as you nodded and Jihoon offered you his car keys. “Perfect. Haein isn’t feeling well. I have that meeting to hopefully sign Seokmin in half an hour or I’d just cancel. We can’t afford to lose him.”
“I—okay. Sure. I’ll go get Haein.” Jihoon could see the confusion and concern in your eyes and yet you were on your feet, your purse in one hand and his keys in the other. Your brows furrowed, and you tilted your head, trying to get your head around what you were being asked to do, when Jihoon’s fingers wrapped around your elbow, pulling you back towards him. “She’s in Mr. Hong’s class; they know to expect you.”
Carefully pulling the blacked-out Range Rover into the parking lot, you first lean down to glance at the school in front of you before turning around to look at the booster seat in the back. You were picking up a child. You were picking up Jihoon’s child? Lee Jihoon had a child.
Your brain was working overtime as you slid out of the seat and held your boss’s keys tight to your chest like a safety net. You were beginning to realize that you knew little to nothing about him. It wasn’t like you hadn’t looked him up on the internet. You had done your research before your interview and you thought you knew everything there was to know about Jihoon and his company—but nowhere on any of his biographies on any website did it mention “father”.
Smiling at the woman behind the desk, you nod your head and clear your throat in an attempt to not only calm your nerves, but to look like you belong. “I’m here to pick up Lee Haein. She is in Mr. Hong’s class.” Tilting her head at you, the woman studies you for a moment before looking over the screen in front of her and pursing her lips. “Miss Y/L/N?”
Quickly nodding, you reach into your purse, offering the woman your ID before taking a clipboard that would allow you to sign Haein out of school. “Do you know where the nurse’s station is?” You had never even been inside of this school, so the question makes your brows raise as you awkwardly laugh and offer the clipboard back to the woman. Sighing under her breath, she moves to her feet and leans over the desk, pointing back towards the door and to the left. “It’s the third down the hall. Haein will be waiting with the nurse.”
“Thank you.” Your voice is meeker than you intended as you back out of the office and into the hall, turning to the left and making your way down the hall, counting doors. Lucky for you, it wasn’t hard to find; not only did the woman give you great directions, but the word Nurse adoring the door would have given the location away—even to you.
Knocking lightly, you push the door open and wince at the automatic ding from the door alarm. You understood why it was there, but you already felt out of place and now all eyes were on you—even if it was just two sets of eyes.
“Looks like you get to go home now, Haein.” The man’s voice is soft and kind. You smile at the little girl who looks at you uncertainly before you put your hand to your chest and sigh into your words. “I’m Y/N, Haein. Mr. Lee’s…um—your dad’s assistant.”
The girl looked no older than six, and she also didn’t seem to be pleased that you were picking her up instead of Jihoon. “Where is he?” Even the sound of Haein’s voice made your heart feel heavy; she did sound pitiful.
“He’s at the office. I’m sure he’ll come home as soon as possible.” Looking back at the nurse, you take Haein’s bag when it’s offered to you before furrowing your brows tightly as you glance between him and the girl. “Should I take her to the doctor?”
Shaking his head, the man moves to his feet and runs his hand over Haein’s head as she pouts up at you both. “If she’s feeling bad in the morning, I’d say to make her an appointment. This might just be a bit of a headache and an itchy throat.” Ruffling her hair, the man watches the girl finally smile as he nods at her. “We can be hopeful, right?”
Walking beside Haein, you glance down at her a few times before the small girl meets your eyes and furrows her brows once the two of you are outside near the car. “Are you taking me to my daddy?”
Opening the back door, you purse your lips, watching Haein climb into the back and her booster seat waiting for you to not only answer her but to buckle her seat belt. Making a surprised sound, you lean forward and secure the belt as you tilt your head back and forth a few times. “Uh, I—he didn’t. You know what, I’ll ask, but wouldn’t you rather go lay down?”
Timidly, you reach up, putting your hand against her forehead, a frown finding your lips at the warmth under your palm. “We could get you something for your headache, as long as that’s okay with your dad.”
Haein pouts a bit, leaning her head back against the seat as you give her a once-over. She wasn’t even sure what she wanted, but her first impression of you was shifting. You were being nice and you were pretty. It was funny how you kept stumbling over your words, especially when you were talking about her daddy.
“I’m sleepy…” Pausing, Haein tilts her head and grabs at your hand, landing on holding your fingers as she kicks off her shoes into the floorboard. “What was your name? I don’t member. Sorry.”
There was no way you could be upset as you looked down at your fingers wrapped up in tiny ones. Clearing your throat, you press your lips together and nod at Haein before finding your voice. “Y/N.”
Nodding along with your words, Haein finally lets go of your hand and yawns your name as you take a step back and close the door, letting her rest. You could see something of Jihoon in the girl, but it wasn’t a physical resemblance; it was more mannerisms. Perhaps her physical appearance was something she took after her mom.
Her mom… Was Jihoon married? You hadn’t seen a ring on his finger, but then again, you didn’t know about a child so there was plenty he kept secret. Sighing softly, you take out your phone as you slide behind the wheel of the car, waiting for your call to connect. Adjusting the rearview mirror, your lips pull up into a soft smile as you watch Haein sleeping soundly behind you—at least you are smiling until Jihoon speaks, then your nerves take over.
“Y/N? Is everything okay? Did you get Haein?”
Rubbing your lips together, you nod before remembering Jihoon isn’t in front of you. “Yes, yes, of course, Mr. Lee. She’s napping in the car now. I just—” Pausing your brows furrowing when you realize that Jihoon had used your first name. You had heard it a few times from him, but it was so rare. “I, um—where did you want me to take her? You didn’t tell me.”
Glancing back into his office, where Mingyu was doing his best charm routine with Lee Seokmin, Jihoon smiles at the idea of Haein napping. He was worried about her, but knowing that she was with you eased his nerves exponentially. “There is a key to my house on the keyring for the car. You know the address, don’t you?”
You did know the address. You had dropped off a few things there once or twice in the time you had been his assistant, but you had never been inside for more than a few moments and never while he wasn’t there and you had never gone past the foyer. “I—yes, sir. Do you have—is someone waiting there for us? To take care of Haein? Her mother?”
Wincing to your question, Jihoon runs his fingers through his hair as he paces in front of his door. He was feeling anxious; not only at your questions, but also at the fact that he wasn’t in that room getting signatures on paper. “Uh, no. No, could you? I mean, I know it’s not your job, but I’d really appreciate it. I’ll leave as soon as this deal is done.”
You had already pulled out of the parking lot and turned in the direction of where you’d need to go to get to Jihoon’s house, but his question had you feeling faint. He wanted you to do what? To babysit his daughter? He was taking personal assistance to another level.
“Me? Well… I—I guess so. I mean, if you need me to, trust me with something so important, sir.” You hear Jihoon scoff on the other end of the phone and you wonder if you have said something wrong. Before you are able to question him, he sighs, and his voice drops not only in volume but in tone, causing your stomach to tighten. “I trust you with everything, Y/N, so yes, I trust you with Haein.”
Even after being off the phone with Jihoon for over an hour and being inside his house with his daughter tucked into her bed, you were still trying to get his voice out of your head. His words were on a loop in your head and you were feeling pathetic. Clearly, you were taking them a bit too seriously or at least in the wrong way.
Jihoon trusted you as his assistant. That was why he trusted you with his family. That was why he trusted you in his house without him. That was why you shouldn’t snoop around, and yet you were, just a little. You couldn’t help it. Lee Jihoon was a fascinating man and he sent you a single text on your way to his house.
Mr. Lee: Make yourself at home. Be there soon.
So in order to make yourself feel at home, you needed to know where things were in this large home. You had most of the layout figured out. You had easily found the kitchen and Haein’s room with her help. Before tucking her in, you had also found her bathroom and some children’s tylenol to help with her fever. Now you were discovering that Jihoon had a home studio, because, of course, he did.
There were pictures of Haein everywhere now that you really took the time to look past the foyer, but more than that, there were pictures of her with other people. Tilting your head, you pick up a framed picture from a bookshelf, noticing how the man holding a much smaller Haein looked so much like her. He had some similarities to Jihoon, but most of all, he had Haein’s eyes and her nose.
You wanted to keep studying the picture, but the sound of the front door made your heart rise into your throat as you carefully put the picture back where it belonged and moved back into the living room just in time to see Jihoon do the same. Glancing around the room, he takes a breath before he meets your eyes and lets it out with a sigh.
“You’re a sight for sore eyes.” Again, you weren’t going to let that go to your head. Instead, you watch as Jihoon rubs at his neck, his other hand loosening his tie as he moves towards the couch to sit down. “Is Haein sleeping? I seriously can’t thank you enough for this, Miss Y/L/N.”
It almost made you sad that Jihoon hadn’t called you by your first name in person. You liked how it sounded on his lips, even though you shouldn’t. Smoothing your hands over your borrowed shirt, you nod as you move towards where your bags waited for you in a chair next to the couch Jihoon was now occupying.
“She is, it wasn’t an issue, Mr. Lee.” Clearing your throat as Jihoon watches you fidget in place. “I gave her a dose of the children’s tylenol that was in her bathroom. She was running a bit of a fever, but I checked her a few minutes ago and it seems to be a bit better now.” Grabbing your purse, you sigh under your breath, realizing for the first time since you had arrived at Jihoon’s that you had driven his car there; yours was still at the office.
Jihoon tilts his head as you take out your cellphone and start scrolling, your purse resting on your forearm. “Thank you for doing that... What are you doing?” You were clearly concentrating on something hard; your brows were knitted together so tight that you were almost scowling at your phone. “I—uh, ordering a ride.”
Running his hand over his face, Jihoon shakes his head before leaning back on the couch and finally meeting your eyes once again. “I won’t tell you what to do, however... I’d strongly prefer you not do that. I was hoping—”
The confusion is written on your face as Jihoon stops speaking, as if coming up with his words on the spot. To you, he always seemed so confident, if not a bit intimidating, when in reality, right now he was mustering his courage. “I was hoping that you’d stay for dinner and then let me get you home. I’ll have someone here to help with Haein in a couple hours, and then I can drive you to your car myself.”
Glancing around the room, you take a breath and fill your cheeks with air as you consider his words. Finally meeting his eyes again, you nod and watch as a smile pulls at Jihoon’s lips, making it impossible for you not to mirror it shyly.
“Really? Okay… great. Perfect—uh yeah. I’ll go check on Haein, say hi, and, uh, be right back.” Jihoon was not only overflowing with confidence, but he was also articulate and precise. You were now watching him stumble over his words, a slight flush to his cheeks as he tapped his hand over the arm of the couch and got to his feet. Surely you were reading too much into this. You had to be, even as you watched Lee Jihoon glance over his shoulder at you, his hip knocking into a chair as he walked out of the room.
Sighing under his breath, Jihoon runs his fingers through his hair as he turns down the hall and is finally out of your line of sight. “Real fuckin’ smooth. Get it together.” While his words were muttered under his breath, Jihoon still feared you might hear him as he shook out his hands and took a steady breath.
It wasn’t easy to be around you like this. At work, it was so much simpler to play into his role as your boss. He got into the zone once he stepped into the building, but here? He could really see you. He could let his eyes wander more, not that he hadn’t been doing that more at the office. You were the most beautiful woman that Jihoon had ever seen and while that hadn’t been the reason that he had hired you as his personal assistant, it was a bonus. The fact that you were also one of the most interesting and endearing people that he had ever met? Well, that was icing on top of the cake.
Carefully pushing the door to Haein’s room open, Jihoon frowns a bit, seeing the way the girl’s brows were knitted together as she slept. She somehow looked even smaller than normal. Being as gentle as possible, Jihoon sits on the side of her bed and runs his fingers over her forehead, feeling for any signs of a lingering fever. He knew that you had given her medicine. However, parental instinct was taking over. It wasn’t something that Jihoon had always possessed. It wasn’t something he had even wanted, but for Haein, he’d do anything.
Fidgeting in her sleep, Haein turns on her side and wraps her hand around Jihoon’s as she mutters softly under her breath. It isn’t clear, but Jihoon knows it’s 'daddy,” and it makes his heart beat faster. “Shh, sleep, baby. Grandma will be over in a bit.”
Jihoon’s voice is soft and lulls Haein back to a deeper sleep, allowing him to carefully work his hand away from hers so he can move back to his feet and towards her door. It’s almost painful to leave her, even if he knows she needs the rest and that you are waiting for him, but a soft snore slipping from his daughter’s lips gives him the strength he needs to get moving.
Looking around the living room, you start to wander once again as you wait for Jihoon. There was so much to see in his home compared to what you were used to. While you had never forgotten how successful your boss was, seeing it around you made it all that more real.
Admiring the art on his walls, you sigh softly, not hearing him come into the room behind you, which gives him a moment to admire you. You belonged; there wasn’t any way to explain how his brain was screaming that at him, but looking at you standing in his living room already wearing his shirt. Jihoon’s brain was misfiring at the image.
“Uh, she’s still asleep, but her fever seems to have gone down, thanks to you.” Glancing over your shoulder, you feel your cheeks heat up when you realize that Jihoon is looking at you. He was quiet, or perhaps you were just distracted, but either way, his eyes were intense as he smiled at you now.
“I’m glad she’s doing better. She is very sweet.” Sighing as you lift your shoulders and drop them, and turning towards Jihoon as he moves towards the kitchen, you take a few steps towards him to follow. “I feel kinda bad for not really knowing much about her. I feel like, as your assistant, I’ve done a bad job of getting to know my boss. I didn’t even know you didn’t like coffee, much less that you had a daughter and a family.”
Tilting his head, Jihoon smiles into a laugh as he leans to open a cabinet, taking out a pot and sitting it on the stove. “Well, I mean... In your defense, I don’t really tell many people my personal details. There are a few in the office who know some things about me, but—” Clicking his tongue before laughing once again, Jihoon meets your eyes as he leans against the cabinets. “You’ll get to know me, I promise. Is ramen okay?”
Watching someone cook for you—especially ramen—isn’t how you thought you’d fall head over heels for someone, but you couldn’t take your eyes off Jihoon. Of course you had found him attractive before; how could you not? He looked like a million bucks at work in his suits without a tie, his hair perfectly styled. You practically drooled over him, but here in his kitchen, as you leaned against the kitchen counter, watching him push the sleeves of his button-up further up his arms as he chopped the green onions and kept an eye on the ramen coming to a boil, you were swooning.
“I think we can get Seokmin finalized by the end of this week.” Jihoon’s words pull you out of your domestic haze and back to the present as you finally meet his eyes, feeling your cheeks burn under his gaze. Nodding, you look away, feeling shy as you reach for the glass of water that was placed in front of you moments before. “That would be good; I know you were itching to get him under the label. He’s really talented.”
Jihoon hums along with your words, his eyes still on you even when you look down at your glass and tap your fingers on the side. God, you were stunning. This was the longest he had ever had the chance to spend with you and he knew he was wasting it by talking about work, but he was terrified. No other woman made him as nervous as you did. It was as if he would say the wrong thing and you’d fly away like a bird.
“He is. Once he’s signed, I hope to get him in the studio as soon as possible. It’s been far too long since we’ve had a new artist debut with us. His last label didn’t understand his voice; I think I could—” Jihoon watches your lips pull up into a smile as he starts to ramble, causing him to trail off. A soft laugh takes the place of his words instead as he shakes his head and reaches for an egg, cracking it into the pot in front of him. “I don’t want to talk about work; I don’t know why I’m even doing it.”
Tilting your head, you watch Jihoon’s hands as he discards the shell of the egg and rests his palms on the counter. “Because it’s easy. It’s what you know. You’re good at your job, Mr. Lee.”
Sucking his teeth, Jihoon turns from the stove and opens a cabinet in front of him to take out two bowls. “I wish you wouldn’t be so formal with me. It makes me feel like I have to do it again. Just call me Jihoon, please.”
The idea of calling Jihoon anything other than Mr. Lee makes your stomach tighten. You heard the others in your office call him by his first name and you had said it to yourself on occasion but never to him. The heat was rising along your neck and to your cheeks once again as you avoided Jihoon’s eyes, a soft smile on your lips. “Okay, Jihoon.”
That was better than anything Jihoon had ever written or heard in his life. If there was anything that he knew, it was music. He knew how to write lyrics that would bring a grown man to tears, and yet when you said his name, that smile on your face almost broke him.
Letting out a breath, Jihoon’s shoulders drop before he licks his lips and forces himself back to the task at hand. Dividing the ramen between the two bowls and giving you the egg, he slides your bowl towards you and rests his elbow on the counter. “I hope you like it, Y/N.”
You cant stop the quiet laugh that slips from between your lips when Jihoon calls you by your first name, your cheeks warming like a schoolgirl who has a crush. Pressing your lips together, you nod and pick up your chopsticks and see Jihoon smiling out of the corner of your eye as he waits for you to take the first bite before joining you. The food is simple and warms you from the inside out. It was something you’d make for yourself after a long day, but there was something special about it being made for you and the fact that it was made by Jihoon. “It’s delicious. Thank you…”
Even Jihoon had to admit that this was one of his better bowls of ramen. Perhaps it tasted better because he was sharing it with you, or maybe because he had put more heart into cooking it, but the broth was the perfect level of spice and savory on his tongue. Humming as he leans over his bowl, Jihoon nods before quietly slurping the noodles into his mouth and licking his lips. “My pleasure; the least I can do after all you’ve done for me.”
You hadn’t done much, not in your mind. You knew that Jihoon was busy. He was always at the office before you and it seemed like while he left before the rest of the staff, there was a good reason. Now you understand that he was probably picking up Haein. He was even busier than you knew.
Dropping off her bag on the table next to the front door, Jihoon’s mother is surprised when he doesn’t meet her. The soft hum of voices draws her closer to the kitchen, but seeing the look in her son’s eyes as he watches you eat and smile makes her pause. She knew that she could say something and let Jihoon know that she was there, but it was the first time that she had seen her son in love and she wanted to relish it.
Laughing softly, Jihoon takes a sip of his Coke before nodding along with your words as he learns a bit about your life. He loved learning about you—about your family, your wish for a pet, anything you were willing to share. It felt like time had frozen with you until something out of the corner of his eye caught his attention and Jihoon’s cheeks started to flush.
“Mom…”
Mom? Sitting up straight, you glance in the same direction that Jihoon is looking, only for your eyes to widen to see a pretty older woman watching you both. The look on her face is kind, and her eyes are full of what seems like endearment as she laughs at both of your surprised reactions.
“Why are you both acting like I caught you doing something wrong? Please eat.” Moving towards her son, Jihoon’s mother leans to kiss his cheek before she meets your eyes as you wipe your lips and adjust your clothes, trying to look as presentable as possible in front of someone so important. “Who is this beautiful girl, Jihoon?”
Sighing, Jihoon closes his eyes for a moment, hearing his mother’s words, before he opens them and meets you almost apologetically before clearing his throat. “This is Y/N, um... Y/N Y/L/N, my assistant.”
Still smiling fondly at you, Jihoon’s mother reaches across the island to offer you her hand, which you take, letting her squeeze your hand gently. “It is such an honor to meet you, dear. I’ve never met any of Jihoon’s—” Stopping to think of the word, his mother smiles almost mischievously, turning to meet her son’s eyes. “Girlfriends.”
Opening your mouth to start to explain that you aren’t his girlfriend, that you are just, as he explained, his assistant, you aren’t quick enough as Jihoon moves to stand, laughing awkwardly and taking his mother’s arm. “Mom, thank you for coming to help. Haein should be waking up. I’m sure she’ll be excited to see you. We will be right back, Y/N.”
Lifting your now-free hand to your lips, you nod and gesture to the dishes before sliding off your stool. “Um, okay. I’ll wash the dishes.” Jihoon turns to walk backwards, his hand still on his mother as he shakes his head. “No, no… I’ll get them later. I’ll be right back.”
Turning the corner with his mother in tow, Jihoon finally meets her eyes, watching her smile widen before the two are out of line of sight of you. “What was that?” Reaching up to adjust Jihoon’s shirt, his mother carefully buttons one more button before lifting her hand to cup his cheek. “She’s very pretty, Jihoon.” Groaning, Jihoon rolls his eyes, turning away from his mother’s hand and opening Haein’s door, letting her go in first. He wasn’t going to admit out loud to his mother that she was right.
Humming along with a song in your head, you glance over your shoulder, hearing a scoff when Jihoon finally comes back to the kitchen. Clearly, you hadn’t listened to him with your hands in soapy dishwater up to your forearms. “I’m almost done. There were just a few things.”
“I told you I’d do them later.” Shaking your head, you use your elbow to turn on the sink, rinsing the last bowl as Jihoon moves to your side, his hand brushing subconsciously along your back as he takes it from you and puts it on the drying rack. “I wanted to help, besides... When you get back home, I’m sure you will have to take care of Haein, shower, and get ready for bed. Now this is done.”
Sighing softly, Jihoon turns to rest his hip against the counter as you rinse the soap from your hands. This was all so domestic, and the fact that you were worried about simple things like him having the time to take a shower before bed? Jihoon was not letting that go to his head, not even a little bit.
“And what about you? You’ll have to drive all the way home before you can do any of that for yourself. I feel awful.” Offering Jihoon a smile, you dry your hands before finally meeting his eyes and realizing how close he was standing. Swallowing hard, your smile fades ever so slightly as you take a single step back and fold the towel in your hands as you shake your head once again. "I—um, I’ll be okay. Don’t worry about me.”
Jihoon was realizing that was impossible. He was having a hard time taking his eyes off of you, much less his mind. His smile lifting at one corner of his lips, Jihoon nods before gesturing his head towards the kitchen entryway. "Then, in the spirit of that, let me get you to your car so I don’t keep you out all night.”
A shirt folded in your arms, a Coke Zero in one hand, and your bag in the other, you make your way to your desk even as Soonyoung leans back in his desk chair to get a better look at you. Over the past few weeks he was getting easier and easier to ignore, even if he was also becoming one of your best friends.
“No coffee?” Lifting your brows to Soonyoung’s question, you pick up the Coke from your desk and smile at him sweetly before knocking on Jihoon’s door as the other man groans about having to get his own.
“Come in.”
Taking a deep breath, you put a smile on your face and slide past the large door letting it close behind you. Making your way towards his desk, you carefully avoid Jihoon’s eyes until you are too close to do so. “Hi, so I have your shirt and this.”
Jihoon smiles as you sit the Coke Zero in front of him before moving towards his closet to hang up the borrowed shirt. “Thanks, Y/N.” Nodding, you glance over your shoulder as you try to put the hanger on the rack once and then twice before finally hitting your mark. “Sure, no biggie. I remembered.”
His smile pulls into more of a full grin as he watches you struggle with the hanger. You were even cuter than normal, if that were possible. He had hated saying goodnight to you the night before, but he really felt like he had made progress with you. This as the most he had seen you in his office in a long time.
Swallowing hard, you turn on your heels and press your lips together before gesturing towards Jihoon and smiling softly. “How is Haein feeling?”
Jihoon liked this casual conversation, even if it was about his daughter. He wished you’d sit down, but even he had to remind himself that he should keep it somewhat professional at the office. Cracking open the drink in front of him, Jihoon nods and meets your eyes once again. “She’s okay, still a bit sickly. My mom stayed with her today, but…” You watch as Jihoon’s head tilts, a metaphorical lightbulb going off above his head as something occurs to him. “Y/N, are you busy this evening?”
When you open your mouth to speak, you close it and shake your head. A list of reasons why Jihoon would ask you about your plans goes through your head before finally— ”Could you stay with Haein for a few hours while I go to dinner?” That wasn’t on your list. He wanted you to take care of his kid while he went to dinner? What? Like on a date?
Swallowing hard, you push down your disappointment, forcing a smile as you nod politely. “Sure, I have nothing else going on. You want me to go there after work?”
Jihoon watched as your smile faded and then reappeared strained. He wouldn’t make you watch Haein; he could always ask his mom to stay longer. Even if she did have plans, but he was hoping to talk with you like he had the day before. Why did you look so upset?
“Uh, if you really don’t mind. I could use the he—”
“Nope, don’t care—I mean, I don’t mind. I’ll go and I’ll go now, out... you know, to work.” Gesturing your thumb towards the door, you take a few steps backwards before turning towards it as Jihoon says your name under his breath.
You weren’t sure you had ever felt so stupid as you did working for those few hours until Jihoon told you and the rest of the main office to have a good evening. Nodding, you avoid his eyes even as Jihoon stops at your desk to sigh, muttering that he would see you once he got home.
Waiting until Jihoon is out of the door, Soonyoung moves from his seat and walks towards your desk with his head tilted. “At home? What the hell is that about?”
Rolling your eyes, you try to wave the man off, not wanting to talk about it, but as usual, Soonyoung wouldn’t let go of something like this so easily. “Stop flailing your hand at me. Are you going back over to his house? What the fuck, Y/N?”
Sighing loudly, you meet Soonyoung’s eyes as you shrug, letting your pen fall from your fingers in annoyance. “To take care of his kid while he goes to dinner. I’m a glorified babysitter, Soonyoung.” You shake your head when he tries to argue, your hand lifting to tell him to stop. “I’m gonna go and do the right thing because I know he deserves a night out. Also, because I like Haein; she’s sweet, but I won’t fucking lie... It sucks to know I’m doing this so he can go on a damn date.”
Pushing back hard from your desk, you don’t listen as Soonyoung says your name and tries to get you to listen to reason. Instead, you push at his hand, shooting him a hurt look as you tug your purse up from the floor and onto your arm. “Y/N, I think you’re misunderstand—”
“Stop patronizing me. I’m not stupid.” Shaking his head, Soonyoung stands up to walk behind you, feeling bad for teasing you. “I’m not! It’s not even a—” The door closing in Soonyoung’s face stops him from going further, the end of his sentence said to the wooden door. “Date.”
Leaning back in his chair, Mingyu props his feet up on his desk and shakes his head at the display while Soonyoung runs his fingers through his hair. “You fucked up.”
“Me?! I think Jihoon fucked up. She thinks he’s going on a date. He needs to talk to that woman or she’s gonna quit. He’s stringing her along.” Mingyu couldn’t argue with Soonyoung, and he shared his fondness for you. Jihoon’s previous assistants were never a good fit. Either they were overly zealous or lazy. One had even leaked company information to another label, but then you got the job and everything flowed like water.
“Yeah, well… He’ll figure it out. Or we will just kill him.”
That Soonyoung could agree with.
“Miss Y/N, will you make me s’getti?”
You had gotten to Jihoon’s house in a sour mood, but quickly found that when you were around Haein, you couldn’t be upset. She was so different from the previous day. It was obvious that she was starting to feel better, and her personality was really starting to shine. She was like a little bright light in your dark evening.
“‘Course, as long as you guys have the stuff for it.” Pursing your lips, you open the pantry doors and sigh at the amount of groceries available to you. Of course, Lee Jihoon would have a stocked kitchen. You don’t know why you even considered anything different.
Pulling a few things from the pantry and then more from the fridge, you glance into the living room as Haein pulls a brush through her doll's hair and hums under her breath. You had found yourself smiling fondly at everything the girl had done, even when it was the smallest thing. She could show you that she could tie her shoe and you were praising her like a proud family member. “What’s your doll's name, Haein?”
Smiling at you from the couch, Haein lifts the doll to show it off as she moves to her knees. “I used to call her Kimmie, but I like your name better. That okay?” Biting your lip as you push the hamburger meat around in the pan in front of you, you feel your heart tighten in your chest at the little girl's words. “Mmhm, that’s okay with me.”
Your phone had gone off a few times in the night. From the time that you had left the office to the time that you had put a bowl of spaghetti in from Haein, you had been ignoring it. You didn’t need to check it to know it was probably Jihoon. It wasn’t like he didn’t know you were here. His mother had been here when you had gotten here; she had said goodbye to Haein and you knew there were security cameras in Jihoon’s house. You just didn’t find yourself wanting to talk to him while he was on a date with some girl. It wasn’t until the tenth buzz from your phone on the kitchen counter as you put leftovers into a container, you let out an annoyed breath and turned the phone over to read your texts.
Lee Jihoon: Thank you again for helping me out. I owe you big time
Lee Jihoon: Soonyoung said you were upset when you left. Is everything okay?
Lee Jihoon: Y/N?
Lee Jihoon: Are you mad at me?
Lee Jihoon: Could we talk when I get home?
Lee Jihoon: How is Haein? Are you guys doing okay?
Lee Jihoon: I checked the camera. I hate doing that. Seems like you guys are having a good time
Lee Jihoon: Feels like you are ignoring my texts on purpose
Lee Jihoon: What did I do???
Lee Jihoon: We are going to talk.
Shaking your head, you send a single text message back to Jihoon before slipping your phone into your pocket and making your way over to the couch and Haein. “What are we watching?” Giggling, Haein tells you about her Barbie movie and you listen even as you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket. Your stomach in knots, you sigh softly and offer the girl beside you a smile as she adjusts to sit against you, her head against your shoulder, before pulling your arm around her tightly.
Y/N: Haein is doing great. No need to rush back. Enjoy your date, Mr. Lee.
Lee Jihoon: Be home soon, Miss Y/L/N.
You didn’t give your phone much more thought; instead, you focused on Haein as she shifted against you to lay in your lap. Your eyes are moving between her and the movie as your fingers brush her hair back from her face. You watch as her eyes slowly close and her breaths become steady and softer, sleep taking her attention from the movie.
Sighing softly, you feel your chest tighten at the sight of the little girl asleep in your lap, but more so at the feeling it gives you. You enjoy being close to her. You like that she is happy and feels comfortable enough to sleep. Despite only knowing her for a short time, you find yourself getting attached to Haein.
Shrugging his coat off, Jihoon furrows his brows tightly as he moves through the house towards the living room and the sound of the television. He was frustrated that you hadn’t been answering his messages, but that last message from you had told him more than enough about why you were acting the way you were.
He knew how he felt about you, even if it was a little terrifying for him, but if you were going to sulk and avoid him thinking that he was on a date, clearly you felt something for him too. With a plan in mind—to address the problem head-on right away—Jihoon moves into the room, only to stop in his tracks at the sight in front of him. His plan goes right out the window when he sees your fingers lazily brushing through Haein’s hair as she sleeps in your lap. Now there was no way he could avoid how he felt about you, not when you were the picture of everything he wanted in his life right in front of his eyes.
“Y/N…” Jihoon’s soft voice causes your brows to furrow as you sit up slightly, only to feel his fingers slide along your shoulders to keep you from moving to quickly and startling Haein. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Don’t wake her. She looks so peaceful.” Leaning over your shoulder, Jihoon smiles brightly as he carefully guides his fingers along the side of yours over Haein’s head with a sigh. “She looks happy.”
Jihoon had never been this close to you before and with where he had just come from, you find yourself leaning your head away from his cheek to give him space before moving your hand from his daughter’s head. “Mm, I hope she is. I can let you take her so I can get out of the way.”
Rolling his eyes, Jihoon sighs as he turns his head towards you to meet your eyes. “You aren’t in the way, Y/N. Would you stop this? You’ve avoided my messages all evening. I want to talk about what’s going on, but I do want to get Haein in her room first.” Lifting his brows, Jihoon waits for you to nod before he stands back to his full height and moves around the couch to slide his arms under her, pulling her against his chest.
Glancing over his shoulder as he takes a step towards the hall, Jihoon swallows hard, hearing you shift behind him. “Please don’t leave, okay? For me? Give me like five minutes to put my daughter in her bed and then I’ll be back.” You wanted to tell him no and leave, but the look on his face and the way he phrased his words made you settle back into the couch with another nod.
Jihoon kept his promise and less than five minutes later, you watched a less put-together Lee Jihoon make his way back into the living room. Running his fingers through his hair, he then unbuttons his sleeves and pushes them up to his elbows before finally meeting your eyes allowing you to see how nervous he really is.
“I’m pretty tired, Mr. Lee. I should be getting home soo—”
“I wasn’t on a date, Y/N.”
It isn’t just Jihoon cutting you off that makes you stop, but also what he has to say. Tilting your head, you shift nervously on the couch as he sits down next to you, closer than you anticipate. “That’s what you wrote me. Your last text... To enjoy my date? I was out for a business dinner with Seokmin and his manager. I haven’t been on a date in over two years.”
It was none of your business. He didn’t need to tell you this and you shouldn’t have even said anything. You feel guilt sitting on your shoulders as you look down at your hands and push your fingers into your palm. “Oh… Well, you don’t owe me any explanations.”
You were so devastatingly beautiful and frustrating at the same time. Scoffing, Jihoon shakes his head as his eyes stay fixed on your fingers as you nervously dig them into your palm. “Clearly I do, and I should have just explained it before when I asked you to stay with Haein tonight. There are a lot of things I need to explain to you, I think, based on how you are reacting and how Soonyoung said you left at work.”
Now you feel like a fool. Embarrassment washes over you and you lift your head, meeting Jihoon’s eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m—that’s so… God. I am so embarrassed, Jihoon. I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. I acted like a child when I left work; I said stupid shit.”
You watch a smirk pull at Jihoon’s lips before he glances down and nods. Obviously, Soonyoung had told him what had happened, perhaps in detail. “Made me realize that I’m maybe not alone in feeling something between us. If you can get that jealous over the idea of a date.”
Heat rises along your neck and into your face as you look away from Jihoon at what his words imply. Pressing your lips together, you furrow your brows as your brain goes from misfiring to giving you approximately a hundred reasons to bolt for the door, including the fact that Jihoon is your boss.
“Am I wrong? ‘Cause I like you, Y/N. I mean, fuck—I really like you.” Trying to hide your smile, you lift your hand, pushing at your lips, before Jihoon’s fingers wrap gently around your wrist, pulling your hand down to your lap as he whispers your name to get you to look at him. “Come on, talk to me.”
Shaking your head, you swallow hard as Jihoon’s thumb moves in a circle in your palm, keeping you grounded. “I—you’re my boss and... well, you have a daughter. I mean, not that I wouldn’t date someone with a kid, what I’m sayin—I mean.” Taking a breath you try to relax before nodding and starting over. “I don’t want to mess things up at work or for Haein. I’m sure she has feelings about her mother, wherever she is, and seeing her father with someone else might be really confusing.”
Tilting his head, Jihoon nods along with you as you finally get your concerns out. Laying your hand on his leg, he slides his fingers along your hand and brings them together, lightly scratching your skin. “Well, first of all, I’m the CEO so I can do whatever I want, but there are also three employees in the main office, Y/N. They don’t give a fuck. The other employees have never even met me face-to-face.”
Daring to spread to your fingers to catch Jihoon’s letting him hold your hand, a smile spreads over his face as he glances down at your hands and clicks his tongue against his teeth. “Two, this goes along with things I need to explain about myself. A lot of people don’t know my personal life. They don’t need to, but you do. Haein is…fuck, how do I—” Sighing, Jihoon leans his head back as he tries to think of the right words before nodding and meeting your eyes. “She’s my niece.”
Jihoon watches confusion flash across your face as you tilt your head so he is quick to continue. “But she is my daughter. I know it’s confusing. I adopted her after my brother passed away three years ago. He and his wife were in an accident and—” Sighing, Jihoon tilts his head and you notice the way his brow furrows and the strain in his voice. Shifting closer, you close your hand around his and lift your other hand, timidly reaching to brush Jihoon’s hair from his cheek as a smile pulls at his lips for the kind gesture, making it easier to go on. “Haein was already my goddaughter, so when she lost them, I didn’t want her to know loneliness.”
Leaning into your touch, Jihoon lets out another breath with a quiet, kind laugh as he lifts his hand to push his thumb against your pout. “Don’t be sad. We are okay; you can see that. One day, when she is ready, I’ll explain it all to her. She already sees the pictures of them, but she just doesn’t know who they really are. I don’t want to confuse her, so she knows me as her dad.”
Every negative feeling you had been feeling about Jihoon now makes your stomach twist with guilt. You would have never imagined that someone like him would do something like that for his brother’s child and make sure that she had the perfect life, but here he was and Haein was living that life.
“Jihoon… She’s so lucky to have you as her dad. She loves you so much.”
Smiling, Jihoon nods a bit before his nose wrinkles playfully as he glances towards the hallway and to where Haein’s room is. “I love her. She’s my world, and I spoil her too much. She’s gonna be a nightmare as a teenager.”
Your laugh is music to Jihoon’s ears and makes his heart beat faster. Sliding his fingers along your hand to your wrist, Jihoon sighs softly and licks his lips as his eyes drop to yours and your pretty smile. “Go out with me tomorrow.”
Rubbing your lips together, your laugh falls silent on your lips at Jihoon’s question and how he is looking at you. The air feels thicker and more electric with his touch and you find yourself wanting to lean in and feel his breath against your lips as his eyes drift to yours one more time.
“Where?” Now you were being coy, but Jihoon found it endearing. Smirking, he tilts his head and shifts closer to you, trailing his fingers along your arm feeling the chillbumbs erupt under his touch. “Someplace nice, dinner. Let me take you on a date, Miss Y/L/N.”
Shivering, the chillbumps spreading over your entire body, you nod, letting out a slow breath, almost afraid to speak, knowing words would be difficult. You almost want to ask Jihoon to kiss you, but you know it’s too quick and he seems to know it too as he leans back and lifts his hand. to trail the back of his fingers over your warm cheek. “Good. I’ll pick you up at 6 tomorrow. Let me walk you to the door; you said you were tired.”
Your entire day had been filled with one thought. What does someone wear on a date with their boss? You had asked friends and family, and you even considered asking Soonyoung for his advice. As the hours ticked by, you found yourself standing in front of your mirror in at least ten different outfits before finally landing on one that you didn’t hate.
Jihoon, on the other hand, had turned to Soonyoung, though he had quickly regretted it. Watching the other man from his mirror, Jihoon rolled his eyes as Soonyoung made a disapproving face at yet another shirt that he pulled from his closet. “You don’t like anything I own.”
"Well, everything you own is boring as fuck.” Smiling quickly to cover up the end of his cursing, Soonyoung glances towards the bedroom down and out into the other room to watch Haein playing with her grandmother. “Y/N is classy. She’s sexy. She deserves something different than what you wear every single day.”
Shaking his head, Jihoon pushes his shirt back into the closet with a sigh before pulling out another and holding it up, getting a head tilt from Soonyoung. “Not bad; try it on. I like the bit of pattern; it’d be better if it wasn’t so subtle.
Cursing under his breath, Jihoon tugs his shirt over his head and pulls the button up over his arms, quickly buttoning it up almost all the way when Soonyoung groans. “Leave it unbuttoned more than that, you prude. Show her some chest; give her the goods.”
“Jesus Christ… Why did I ask you to come over?”
“Because I’m your best friend and I have good fashion sense.”
Jihoon rolls his eyes as he undoes two buttons and turns towards the mirror, adjusting his shirt, tucking it into his dress pants and tilting his own head. He hated to admit it, but Soonyoung was right; the shirt looked pretty damn good on him.
Tugging at the end of your dress as you sit on your couch, you whine under your breath and watch the minutes tick down. You had wanted to just meet Jihoon at the restaurant but he had insisted on picking you up. It seemed he had wanted you to have the full first date experience with him and it was making you feel almost queasy as you waited.
You had made Jihoon tell you what restaurant he was taking you to so that you could look over the menu in advance, and despite the prices not being listed, you had a good idea of what to order. You had even gone as far as to look up reviews of the place, only to put your phone face down on your coffee table, not wanting to see any more words like worth the price, romantic, once in a lifetime experience. Those were words you didn’t associate with yourself.
Shaking his hands out, Jihoon looks up at your apartment building and puffs up his cheeks before taking the first step towards the door. It had been a long time since he had been on a date and even longer since he had been on one with someone he actually cared so much about. The last date had been a blind date set up by guys in the office and while the woman had been nice enough, she was nothing like you.
Jihoon could remember how awkward the conversation had been. He hadn’t meant to be so difficult and he honestly felt horrible by the end of the date and apologized. No day with you had ever been like that. Every single conversation Jihoon had ever had with you had been as easy as breathing for him. The awkward silences were shared by both before the two of you would smile and laugh filling the space. Even the idea brings a smile to his face and makes Jihoon’s skin erupt in chillbumps as he searches for your apartment number and last name before pressing the call button.
You hadn’t realized how intently you had been staring at your coffee table until the buzzer for your apartment went off. Putting your hand against your chest, you feel your heart beating hard and fast as you take a deep, calming breath. With one last glance to the clock, you nod and speed walk towards the intercom next to your door, clearing your throat before pressing the button and smiling into your words. “I’ll be right down, Jihoon.”
Your voice makes Jihoon almost melt on the spot. You were smiling; he could hear it and he couldn’t wait to see it. Nodding, he takes a step back and leans against the railing as he glances up at the sky, enjoying the colors. The sun had started to set, so there was this perfect mixture of pink, blue, and gold that almost looked like a painting. Jihoon finds himself hoping you’ll hurry down so he can share the moment with you and even as the thought passes through his mind, he laughs, feeling his cheeks heat up. He was falling for you hard.
Sliding your jacket over your shoulders, you quickly walk to the elevator and tap the toe of your shoe against the floor as you watch the numbers go down slower than they ever had. You knew it was a trick of your mind that the elevator wasn’t going slower than it did on any normal day, but knowing that Lee Jihoon was waiting for you made the world slow down and you wanted to see him. After spending your entire day both dreading and being excited about this date, now you were more excited than anything.
When the doors to the elevator open, letting you see the main doors of your apartment complex, you take a deep breath, seeing Jihoon looking up at the sky. If you weren’t worried that he would start to worry where you were, you might take a picture of him through the glass doors. There was something incredibly picturesque and handsome about him with the sunset on the horizon behind him, the trees on the other side of the street, and the way his hair was framing his perfect face.
Commiting the moment to memory instead, you push the door open and lower your eyes, feeling instantly shy when a quiet gasp escapes Jihoon’s lips when he sees you for the first time that evening. What you had chosen to wear was nothing special but to Jihoon, you were the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his entire life. You were wearing a black bodycon dress that came to your mid-thigh and a light brown long jacket that fell under the length of your dress. Even down to your shoes, black heels that no one else would probably think to look at, Jihoon was taking in every detail before he tried to meet your eyes.
“Y/N…” Whining at the sound of your name on his lips, you avoid his gaze until Jihoon’s fingers gently rest under your chin and lift your head so he can finally meet you eye to eye. “You are stunning, holy shit. I—I have to...calm down.”
You laugh so quietly and so sweetly that Jihoon’s attempt to calm down fails. A soft groan slips from between his lips before he rubs his fingers over his lips and shakes his head, moving his hand from your face to your hand and lacing his fingers with yours. “Come on, beautiful. I promised you dinner.”
You had been right about the restaurant that Jihoon had wanted to take you to. It was fancy and not something you had ever expected to experience. The food was indulgent and the wine tasted expensive, but more importantly, Jihoon couldn’t keep his eyes off of you.
More than once you had found yourself mid-conversation meeting his eyes and your cheek burning as he all but stared at you in awe. You would watch Jihoon smile and let out a soft embarrassed laugh at getting caught before he would just shake his head and sigh your name under his breath.
“I’m sorry, you are just so beautiful.”
“Jihoon… please.”
“What? It’s true. I’ve spent the last month trying to keep that to myself and now seeing you like this and knowing that I’m actually on a date with you…” Jihoon hisses into his words before sipping at his wine to keep himself in check. You watch his tongue swipe over his lips before he meets your eyes once again. “I’m so lucky.”
Shifting in your seat, you grab your own wine and take a drink to mostly hide your face and how overwhelmed you are. You had never had a man treat you the way Jihoon was. He had tried at the beginning of the date to be confident and collected but the longer he sat in front of you, the mask fell away and to Jihoon, there was no one else in the room besides you and him. No one else mattered.
“You need to eat. Your food is going to get cold, Jihoon.” Smiling at your words, Jihoon glances down at his half-eaten plate and sucks at his teeth. You were right, but that didn’t make it any easier to focus on something that wasn’t you. You were the type of beauty that inspired Jihoon to write songs and he had been composing in his brain from the moment you stepped through the doors of your apartment.
“Mm, yes, ma’am.”
Watching Jihoon finally take another bite of his food, you press your lips together and swallow another sip of your wine. He was so different than the Jihoon you knew from work. The CEO Lee Jihoon could be almost terrifying when he wanted to be. He was stern and to the point. You had seen him reduce people to tears, but the man in front of you—you believed he would do anything for you if you asked. He would be on his knees for you, waiting with baited breath if you—taking a deep breath, you push the thought from your mind as you tip your wine glass back and empty the last of your wine into your mouth.
Jihoon wasn’t the type of guy to try to invite himself into a girl’s place on the first date, but when you asked him if he wanted to come in for something to drink, he also wasn’t going to be an idiot and say no. He didn’t want the night to end yet. He didn’t need anything more with you; he might want it, but he wasn’t going to force it. Jihoon was just thrilled that you trusted him enough to invite him in in the first place.
“Listen, my apartment is small. It’s nothing fancy, like seriously, my apartment could fit in your pool.” Smiling as he walked off the elevator behind you, his eyes moving over your legs and up your back, Jihoon shook his head and let out a slow breath. “None of that matters to me, Y/N. Stop worrying about stuff like that. I’m just happy to be with you for a little while longer.”
Your heart was in your throat, not just at Jihoon’s words but at the idea of having him in your apartment. You knew it was a big deal and you knew what you were doing. No, it didn’t have to go anywhere besides just drinks and conversation, but you were beginning to hope that it would. You weren’t normally like this. You rarely brought men back to your apartment on the first date, but there was something about Jihoon and knowing that he was so busy at work and away from it that made you selfish and wanting just a little more time with him.
Whining under your breath, you push your front door open and step inside, flicking the lights on as you kick your heels off beside the door before glancing back at Jihoon as he steps inside. He doesn’t fit and yet he does. Nothing about him screams small and cozy apartment, and yet he doesn’t look completely out of place in your space. He doesn’t look uncomfortable; instead, he looks at ease as he places his shoes next to yours and slips his jacket off.
Everything about your apartment screamed you in Jihoon’s opinion. From the way you decorated to the way it smelled like your perfume, he was drowning in it happily. Moving into the living room, Jihoon quickly scans over the books on your shelf before finally meeting your eyes with a smile as you hang up your jacket along with his. You bite at your bottom lip and he can tell you are nervous. He was too, but there was something else that was bubbling inside of him that was bigger than his nerves every time he looked at you.
“Um, I have wine, beer, probably the stuff for shitty margaritas.” Scratching at your neck, you walk into your kitchen, where Jihoon can no longer see you, but he can hear you as you rummage through your fridge. “Water, Coke—it’s not Coke Zero though, and I have milk.”
Laughing under his breath, Jihoon lowers himself down on your couch and rubs his hands together, looking over the room once again at the pictures on the walls and your shelf. “Whatever you are having, as long as it’s not the Coke.”
Jihoon smiles hearing your laugh even from a room away. He can still hear the sounds of you doing things in the kitchen and he has the urge to go help you, but he doesn’t want to crowd you or make you uncomfortable so he stays where he is. Just when he starts missing you, wanting to see your pretty face, you round the corner and lift two wine glasses, showing him the white wine you have poured for the two of you to share.
“Hope this is okay. I know we had red at the restaurant, and I can promise this is cheap and probably disgusting... But it’s wine nonetheless.” Offering him one of the glasses, you sit on the couch near him, leaving plenty of space out of nerves. Jihoon takes the glass and instantly looks down at the space between the two of you, letting out a soft laughing sigh as he shakes his head and takes a sip of the wine. “The wine is okay; what isn’t is how far you are from me.”
You bite your bottom lip as Jihoon shifts closer to you, his leg against yours causing you to lower your eyes to your wine before he says your name, drawing your gaze upwards to meet his. “If you want me to move, I will, but I—is it wrong of me to want to be close to you? You are so beautiful, it’s killing me. I know I’ve stared at you all night and I should apologize for that—”
“No, no, it’s okay. You can stay here; please don’t move. I like it. I like when you look at me; it just—it’s a lot. You look at me like...” You trail off and laugh, looking away to take a sip of your wine before furrowing your brows, trying to think of the right words. Jihoon sighs, letting you have a moment to compose yourself, but in the silence he can’t help the way his eyes move over your face and down your body, landing on your hand that rests on your leg.
Wrapping his fingers around your wrist, Jihoon turns your hand in his and strokes your arm gently, smiling when he feels chillbumps erupt under his touch and hears you take a sharp breath into your words. “It’s like I’m the only person in the world.”
Nodding, Jihoon lifts his eyes to yours once again and leans to put his wine glass down on a coaster. Lifting his brows, Jihoon asks for silent permission to touch you as his fingers hover near your face. When you nod, he trails them along your cheek before gliding his thumb to your jawline. “You are, especially right now. Of course, Haein will always come first for me, but I have a feeling you understand that.”
You nod and Jihoon smiles, letting his thumb barely ghost over your lips, feeling them part, a soft breath of air meeting his skin before he moves his hand to your neck and down to your shoulder and finally trailing his fingers along your bare arm and back down to your hand. “But you are so important to me. Over the time that I’ve gotten to know you, it’s been hard not to tell you all the things I’ve told you tonight.”
Shifting on the couch, you pout, and Jihoon’s name slips from your lips as he takes your wine from your hand, putting it on the table with his own, feeling a shift in the air with his confession. “I know it’s a lot and it’s fast considering where this might go, but I have to say it because I’m falling for you.” Shaking his head, Jihoon leans his head back with a half laugh and half sigh before correcting himself. “I’ve been falling for you the entire time I've known you. I’ve just been scared to death. Between everything, our previous relationship, and what you know about my daughter now…”
It makes sense, all of his concerns. You share them and more of your own. But to say that you hadn’t been falling for Jihoon over the time you had been working for him and then even more so since you had met Haein and been introduced into his homelife, would be the biggest lie you had ever told anyone or yourself in your life.
“What if—if this doesn’t work out?” You speak so quietly that you aren’t sure you’ve spoken out loud or that Jihoon will hear you, but he does. Nodding along with your words, he furrows his brows and leans forward as his thumb moves in small circles over your wrist, trying to calm your worries. “I don’t think in what-ifs usually, but for you this time I will entertain it. If things don’t work out, we will figure it out together. I know how I feel about you and I don’t have doubts. I know how much Haein adores you, so I don’t have doubts about that either. I just need to know how you feel, Y/N.”
His certainty makes your head spin and your heart quicken. Taking a deep breath, you slide your hand towards Jihoon's, letting your nails scratch lightly over his palm as you nod and puff up your cheeks slightly. Smiling at how beautiful and cute you can be at the same time, Jihoon lifts his free hand to pinch lightly at your puffed up cheek, feeling you let out your breath when you finally do speak up.
“I like you so much. If I asked you to kiss me, would you?”
Jihoon hadn’t expected you to ask him for anything physical, but there was no way in hell he was going to deny you. Sliding his hand from your cheek to your hairline, Jihoon whispers yes as he leans in, waiting to see if you are going to ask him. When you whine, wanting him to just do it, Jihoon laughs and nudges his nose against yours. “I was waiting for you to ask.”
“Jihoon, please! Just kiss me, oh my god.” And with that, his lips press against yours, taking your words and breath away in an instant. Melting into his touch, you whine into the kiss, your hands sliding to find something to hold on to. One hand clings to Jihoon’s forearm as the other finds his chest and grips his shirt loosely, pulling him closer to you and drawing a small groan from his lips and into yours.
Jihoon’s head was spinning with only thoughts of yours and how good you felt against his lips. He had known the kiss would be better than he could ever imagine, but even he couldn’t have anticipated it being this good. He was already struggling to keep himself in check as your fingers lightly scratched at his chest through his shirt while your tongue brushed against his. Your sweet, breathy moans going straight to his cock that was quickly getting harder in his pants.
“Shit, bab—Y/N.” Stopping himself before he calls you anything besides your name, Jihoon pulls back from the kiss, feeling you chase his lips. He didn’t want to stop kissing you, but this had quickly gone from a kiss to a make-out session on your couch. “I don’t want to do anything you don’t want. So if we need to slow down…”
You loved that Jihoon was being respectful. You adored that he was such a sweet gentleman, but right now you didn’t want him to stop. Your lips were starting to feel numb from his kiss and it had you aching between your thighs for him. You had asked him for a kiss. Could you ask for more?
Lowering your lashes, you suck on your bottom lip and look up at Jihoon through your lashes, seeing the lustful look in his eyes that matches your own. “I don’t want to slow down, Jihoon. I—please? Can we…”
There was something about you not even being able to say the words out loud that made Jihoon feel like he was going insane. You seemed so innocent, so pure. Groaning under his breath, Jihoon runs his fingers along your cheek and into your hairline once again before resting his forehead against yours. Licking his lips, he nods and slides his free hand along your side to test the waters and how serious you are until he reaches your hip and squeezes lightly.
“Hm? Can we, what? What do you want, pretty girl?” Titling his head, Jihoon brushes his lips against yours, hearing you whine when he pulls them away to press a kiss on your warm cheek, speaking against your skin. “Gotta tell me.”
Embarrassment rushes through you, and you whimper Jihoon’s name, grabbing at his shirt, muttering under your breath too low to make out. Shaking his head, Jihoon cants his head towards your mouth and shivers at the feeling of your warm breath when you repeat yourself. “Take me to bed?”
Again, you were so innocent. You didn’t ask him to fuck you. You didn’t even ask him to sleep with you or to make love. You simply asked to be taken to bed. There were so many ways to interrupt that, but Jihoon knew what you meant. “Okay, baby. Is that okay? If I call you that?”
Nodding, you watch Jihoon stand up as he offers his hand to you, which you take so he can help you to your feet. Feeling your knees shake a bit, you are happy for the arm that moves around your waist when Jihoon leans to brush his lips behind your ear, a playful laugh leaving his lips when you lean against him, letting him hold you upright. “I got you. Which room are we going to, baby?”
Once Jihoon has you through the threshold of your bedroom, you finally move on your own towards your bed, reaching for a lighter to light the candle next to your bed. Jihoon glances around as the wick on the candle comes to life, providing just enough light in the room that he can look around and take in his surroundings.
If he had thought your apartment was you, your bedroom was like getting a look inside of you. The smell of your perfume was the strongest in this room and even in the low candlelight, Jihoon could see that the colors of the room, down to the bedding, were the perfect shade for you.
“Is that okay? I just want to be able to see you a little bit and the moon isn’t very bright tonight.” Smiling at your words, Jihoon nods as he undoes the buttons at his wrists while you sit on the side of your bed looking up at him, again so innocently—just like an angel. “It’s perfect and it smells just like you in here. Feels like I’m swimming in you; I might drown.”
You knew that Jihoon wrote songs—no, you knew that he wrote poetry. To say that you were a fan of the music that he had composed and produced would be an understatement, but you kept yourself composed while you were at work and when you were blessed to hear something in advance and it was him singing. Hearing Jihoon say something like he might drown in you was like hearing him sing his lyrics in person to you, and now it was you who was drowning.
“You can’t say things like that.”
Watching you hide your face, Jihoon laughs, moving towards the bed to step between your knees. Lifting your head, his fingers lightly holding your face under your chin, he watches how big your eyes get as they meet his and he almost melts under your gaze. “Why not, baby? It’s true.”
Shifting your legs as far apart as you can with your dress still snug around your thighs, you whine to the feeling of Jihoon’s fingers on your skin as you gain the courage to reach out and touch him. With one hand you wrap your fingers around his wrist and the other you rest it on his stomach, catching one of his shirt buttons under your nail.
“Cause it makes me shy. I’m already so shy around you. Can’t you just—please?” You were doing it again, not using full sentences and expecting Jihoon to fill in the blanks. Luckily for you and Jihoon, his imagination was running wild with all the things he wanted to do to you and with you.
“Yeah, I can. God, you are so pretty.” Jihoon’s fingers walk the line from your neck to your shoulder, where the strap of your dress rests. Carefully working his fingers under it, Jihoon lifts his brows like a question as he tries to take another step forward only to meet resistance and to look down at the tight skirt of your dress. “This dress is so beautiful on you, Y/N, but it’s gotta go. Can I—mm, can I take it off you?”
You knew the question would be asked and you wanted him to take your dress off, but hearing the words made your stomach flip and your heart race. Nodding quickly, you bite at your lips and shift on the bed so quickly that Jihoon can’t help but to chuckle as he takes a step back and leans down as he shakes his head and catches your lips in a soft kiss. “Slow down, pretty girl. I’ll do it. Let me do it; I want to.”
Speaking on Jihoon’s lips, you relax under his hands as Jihoon slides them along your outer thighs to where your dress sits tight against your skin. “Okay, Hoon.” You don’t even mean to shorten his name, but you already feel drunk off him as soon as his fingers press under the end of your dress and start to shimmy it up your body inch by inch.
Smiling against your lips at the shortening of his name, Jihoon leans over your body, laying your back on the bed, feeling you lift your hips as his hands reach them. He only pulls away from your lips to make it easier to get your dress off, but the sight isn’t one he ever wants to forget as you arch your back and bite at your lips, giving him the honor of taking off your dress and completely leaving you in your lingerie.
Jihoon swallows hard as his eyes move over you slowly. He hadn’t told you what his favorite color was and yet you were lying on your bed covered in it. Red lace adorns your body in all the right places, leaving just the right amount to his imagination as he gives into temptation and trails the back of his fingers between your breasts, over your stomach, and stops just on top of your clothed pussy.
“The most gorgeous fucking woman in the universe, I swear to God. Baby, look at you. I almost don’t want to take any of this off of you.” Your cheeks and neck burn from Jihoon’s overwhelming attention as he moves his fingers back up your body, stopping to squeeze your hips and then ghosting each of your breasts, causing your nipples to harden. “Did you know this is my favorite color? Even more so now. I’ll imagine it on you all the fucking time now.”
Turning your face from Jihoon, you smile once again feeling shy even though you are enjoying his words and his attention. The sound of Jihoon’s laugh makes your skin feel like it’s on fire, especially when his lips hover over your collarbone once he is able to stand between your legs, finally close enough to gain access to any part of you he wants. “You are so shy. God, it’s so cute, so sweet. It’s killing me. What am I gonna do with you?”
You knew what you wanted him to do with you, but as much as you wanted to rush him and to get him inside of you there was something in your brain stopping you from doing that as Jihoon’s fingers turned your face back towards him to watch him stand back up in front of you. Your mouth falls open slightly as your eyes stay fixed on him, his nimble fingers carefully undoing the expensive shirt that you had admired more than once through out your date, and while you love the shirt on him you find that you love it on your floor even more.
“Oh my god…” The soft exclaim leaving your lips makes Jihoon smirk, his ego inflating even slightly as he drops his shirt in the floor leaving him shirtless in front of you. He knew he was in shape, he worked hard on it and he had seen you look at him in his tanktops early in the morning at the office more than once to know you would be interested in seeing him like this. Running his hand along his abs, Jihoon grabs his belt and undoes it quickly as you squeeze you thighs together only for you to whimper when he pushes his knee between your knees and shakes his head.
“As much as I want to see those panties get ruined, I wanna be the one doing it. Be a good girl for me and keep those thighs apart for me. I’m almost done, baby.” Nodding as you do as you are told, Jihoon moves his leg back and unbuttons his pants sucking on his bottom lip as he pushes them down in one swift motion. “That’s better. Now we are even, right?”
You didn’t want him wearing anything. You could see the outline of his cock and it was making you equally shocked and feral. You wanted to get on your knees for him and show him what you could do with it, but at the same time you were too stunned to move, so instead you just nod and lick your lips feeling your mouth starting to water.
Jihoon could understand the feeling as you lick your lips. He was doing the same looking at you, his eyes falling between your legs. He hadn’t been lying about wanting to ruin your panties. All he could think about was how wet you might be for him. He knew he was being cocky in hoping you might be soaking through your lace, but with how you were acting, he had a feeling he wasn’t that far off.
“Can I touch you? Are you still okay, baby? Wanna keep going? I won’t make you—” Hearing you whine his name, Jihoon laughs understanding your answer to all his questions. “I just wanted to ask, angel. Trust me, I wanna keep going. Fuck, let me get you on this bed.”
Gasping, you are surprised when Jihoon lifts at your hips and scoots you on the bed shifting you into the middle with almost no effort. Meeting your widened eyes, he grins moving to place one knee next to yours and the other between your knees as he looks down at you like you are a five course meal. “Didn’t think I’d move you?”
“I–-you could have let me do it myself…” Shaking his head, Jihoon lift his hand to your shoulder pulling the strap of your bra down your arm before leaning to press his lips to your skin listening to your soft moans as he speaks against your soft skin. “I’d never ask you to do a damn thing when we are in bed. I’m gonna have you so fucking spoiled, baby.”
Arching off the bed, you grab at the bedding under and carefully run your fingers through Jihoon’s hair for the first time as his lips find the swell of your breast over your lace. You moan not only to his words, the feeling of his lips against your skin, but also the feeling of his hair in between your fingers. You find yourself wanting to run your fingers through his hair all the time, not just in moments like this, but also when the two of you are watching a movie, laying in bed ready to sleep, or while he’s working…
Pushing the thought from your mind, you let out a soft cry when Jihoon’s teeth rake over your nipple, his fingers tugging your bra down from one breast so he can have access to your bare skin. “Fuck… You are so soft.” Swallowing hard at his own words, Jihoon shakes his head and runs his tongue around your nipple before sucking it into his mouth with a groan hearing your breathy sighs of pleasure.
He wanted to have his lips on every single inch of your body if possible. If he could do it all at once he would, but he knew that was impossible so he was taking his time. Reaching behind your arched back, Jihoon undoes your bra feeling it give way under his fingers so he can pull it from your body giving him more access to your skin. As much as he loved the lace on your body feeling your bare skin against his was better. The feeling of your soft breasts against his face was heaven as he pressed kisses from one nipple to the other taking it into his mouth with a satisfied groan.
There was no way to explain how good you tasted. Your skin tasted perfect on Jihoon’s tongue and he hadn’t even made it past your chest. His cock was leaking heavily in his briefs as he rolled his hips against your thigh, his own pressed against the wet lace covering your pussy. With each movement, each groan from Jihoon, he would rock his thigh against you drawing out another moan that would cause his cock to jerk.
“So good. You sound so pretty, baby. Just taking my time...” You were too drunk off the feeling of Jihoon’s mouth and body against yours to be upset that he was taking his time, but you could tell that he was. You had never had someone move so slowly with you. If it had been any other man in your bed, their cock would have already been in you without much or any prep, and it would have been done in moments—but Jihoon was slowly making his way down your body, kissing every mole and scar as he went.
When Jihoon did finally reach your hips, you bit your lips, feeling his fingers push into the sides of your panties, resting over your hipbones. Glancing down at him, your breath quick and uneven, you meet his eyes and see him smile before he presses a kiss just below your belly button.
What happens next leaves you breathless when Jihoon’s tongue runs from your mouth just above your ass to your mound over your lace, letting him taste you through your panties. Smirking against the lace, Jihoon meets your eyes once again as he nips at your pussy through your panties, feeling your thighs quiver on either side of his head. Only when whispered pleads are falling from your lips does Jihoon’s fingers finally start to tug your panties down your legs so he can drop them to the floor along with the rest of your clothes.
“I told you I wanted to ruin them. I always keep my promises, babe.” Jihoon watches you swallow hard as you try to catch your breath, already feeling the coil in your stomach starting to tighten. “Now let me see you.” Spreading your legs once again, Jihoon groans as he watches the candlelight hit your glistening folds. He had been right about how wet you were. He was starving for you and he wasn’t done worshipping you.
Running his fingers along your legs from your ankles to your thighs, Jihoon keeps his eyes on yours as he lowers himself back between your legs to press a kiss to each of your thighs before doing the same to your wet pussy.
Licking his lips, Jihoon closes his eyes to the first real taste of you, a shiver running through his body before he adjusts between your legs and pulls you closer to him, making you gasp. One hand wrapped around your leg at your hip, Jihoon spreads your folds, while with the other he carefully circles your dripping hole with his index finger before working it in feeling you clench around it.
“Shit… Tight. Gotta relax for me, okay, baby?” Jihoon watches you nod even though you aren’t sure how he expects you to relax when he thrusts his finger into it, and it feels so good. You aren’t sure how he wants you to stop clenching around his finger tightly when he finally runs his tongue between your folds and groans finding your clit and sucking on it. You only manage to push down on his finger and tighten around it more. “Fuck, taste so good.”
Leaning his head back to shake his hair from his face, Jihoon smiles when you thread your fingers back into his hair. Not only does he enjoy the feeling of your fingers in his hair, but it also lets him get back to work. With a second finger joining the first, Jihoon’s mouth is back on your folds. He gently sucks them into his mouth and hums in appreciation as he once again works his way back up to your waiting clit, flicking his tongue against it, causing you to practically scream his name.
You had been so quiet up to that point that when you scream his name, Jihoon closes his eyes and ruts his hips into the mattress, afraid he is going to cum from just the sound alone. The pressure that had been building inside of you comes to a head and with one more brush of Jihoon’s fingers against your spot, you come undone.
Tugging tightly at his hair, you whimper Jihoon’s name much quieter this time as your cum seeps around his fingers. Groaning to the feeling of his hair being pulled and the taste of your cum on his tongue, Jihoon carefully slips his fingers from you and replaces them with his tongue until you are closing your thighs around him and begging him to stop.
Running his fingers through his hair, Jihoon sucks the fingers of his other hand clean as he watches you catch your breath. Smirking around his fingers, he watches a smile spread over your lips when you realize he’s watching you closely. “Stop it… I’m shy.”
“I know. I’m not sure I ever want you to lose that. It’s driving me crazy.” Putting his hand next to your head, Jihoon rests back between your legs so he can kiss you softly. The feeling of your hands tracing his sides makes him shiver and grin against your lips before he deepens the kiss. Groaning into the kiss, Jihoon finally pulls back to look down at you as you stare up at him breathless once again, an almost fucked-out look on your face before he’s even been inside of you.
“Gotta have you, baby. Will you let me?” Whining his name, you nod to Jihoon’s words, watching him smile once again as you squirm under him. “Gotta be patient. I gotta…” Moving to the side, Jihoon groans as he tugs his briefs down his legs, hissing as the air hits his hard cock. “Better, now I can—what’s that look for?”
Your eyes had widened almost dramatically by the time Jihoon had turned back to you. Holding back his laugh, he tilts his head and glances down at his cock, lifting his brow before reaching for your hand and guiding it to his shaft, helping you wrap your fingers around him. “Was it about my cock? I'm not that big, baby… So tell me what’s going on in that pretty head.”
Shaking your head, you bite your lips as Jihoon guides your hand along with his to his head, collecting some pre-cum so he can stroke his cock slowly. “It’s perfect… God, I sound so stupid, but you’re…like everything.” Lifting your free hand to hide your face, you groan in embarrassment, feeling Jihoon’s hand fall from yours, letting you do the same.
“Baby…” Now he was laughing, but you could tell it wasn’t at you. Instead, Jihoon was enamored by you. He had been falling for you before and now he had fallen, hard. Moving your hand, Jihoon kisses your fingers and palm before doing the same to your cheeks and lips. “Thank you, it’s not stupid. You’re perfect. You make me feel so good about how I look. I hope I do the same for you.”
He had done more than that. You were no stranger to being self-conscious, but with how Jihoon had spent what felt like hours worshipping your body, you felt like the most beautiful woman in the world. Nodding, you lean your head against the pillows and pout. Jihoon smirks, reaching up to push his thumb against your bottom lip.
“Now… Can I make love to you? Cause that's all I wanna do in this bed. It’s what I’ve been dreaming of doing since... Fuck, I can’t even tell you how long.”
You hadn’t expected those words from Jihoon. You didn’t know that he wanted to make love to you. Love was such a scary but wanted word for you. You wanted to love him, and maybe you already did, but you weren’t going to say it out of fear of scaring him away. “Please, it’s what I want, too.”
Fingers once again move over your skin, trailing along your side to your hip as Jihoon nods. His lips find yours before quickly moving to your jaw and then your neck, causing you to throw your head back against the pillow with a moan. Before you could feel his cock throb behind his briefs, but now it lay heavy against your thigh and pre-cum was leaking on to your skin with each sound dripping from your mouth.
“Please... need you.”
Jihoon loved how shy you were, but he also loved hearing you tell him what you wanted. You needed him. Needed. He’d give you the world, but tonight he’d make sure you had everything you wanted before he’d let himself have a single thing. “Anything, baby. It’s yours.”
Jihoon’s words are muffled against your throat as his fingers slide along your leg to your knee, pulling it up to his hip. You gasp, feeling his finger brush through your folds, before you feel the same thing with the head of his cock and finally the stretch of him pushing into you slowly.
You had felt like heaven on Jihoon’s fingers and tongue, but it was nothing compared to how you felt around his cock. Even before he was completely inside of you, Jihoon felt like he couldn’t breathe with how tightly you were holding him and with how your body was pulling him closer.
“Sh-shit… fuck.” Resting his forehead against your shoulder, Jihoon stays still, his hips flush with yours, feeling your walls quiver around him. He waits for you to tell him to move, not just to make sure you have adjusted but also to give himself a moment to calm down. He felt like he could cum instantly. It had been too long since he had been with anyone and you felt better than anyone he had ever been with. It was like you had been made for him specifically.
Rubbing your hands along his arms, you feel tears collect on the rims of your eyes as the stretch eases and becomes pleasure. You find yourself wanting Jihoon to move, needing him to move, and wanting to feel his cock deeper, harder, and faster. Leaning your head towards his, you kiss his temple and whisper, “Move, please, Hoon.”
He starts slow, each thrust smooth and precise, but quickly as your and his breath become more moans than anything, the thrusts become urgent and full of need. “You feel so fucking good, Y/N.” You weren’t sure why Jihoon’s words made you clench harder around him. Why did hearing him whine your name as he fucked into you so hard as his fingers moved to lace with yours against the mattress make you feel like you were floating?
Jihoon grunts before his lips find yours once again, his kiss desperate and passionate. He nips at your lips before licking his tongue into your mouth, feeling your tongue against his own. There is something different about this kiss—more heated and important than any other kiss than any other kiss that either of you have shared with any other person in your life. Both of you seem to feel it as your fingers tighten in his grasp, the feeling of electricity passing between your touch and his as the coil in your abdomen snaps once again.
While Jihoon had loved the feeling of you cumming on his fingers, feeling you cum on his cock was another thing all together. He could barely keep his head as he watched the bliss take over your face, the way your lips parted, and how your eyes fluttered closed. It was enough to push him over the edge right behind you.
Panic takes over Jihoon; you hear him curse under his breath and feel him slip from you before the feeling of his warm cum hits your lower stomach and thighs. Groaning, he strokes his cock, feeling it soften in his hand. It wasn’t how Jihoon would have preferred to finish, but you had felt too good and his climax had almost snuck up on him.
Leaning to rest his head against your chest, Jihoon takes a deep breath, feeling your fingers run through his hair as he listens to your heart racing. “I gotta get you cleaned up. That was not the plan. I’m sorry, babe.” Jihoon places a kiss to the top of your breast before meeting your eyes, a shy look in his eyes as you shake your head and smile at him.
“It’s okay. I’m not mad. I—” Laughing, you turn your head embarrassed, lifting your hand to bite at your thumbnail, making Jihoon curious at what you were going to say. “What? Hey, come on. Tell me?” Gently pulling your hand from your lips, Jihoon tilts his head, shifting from between your legs to your side.
You swallow hard and glance down at your stomach and legs to where his cum paints your skin before sighing and avoiding his eyes as you speak. “You could have stayed inside of me. I’m on birth control, Jihoon.”
Laying back on your bed, Jihoon runs his hand over his face with a groan, feeling his cock twitch slightly to your words. “You can’t say something like that to me. I can’t get hard again this quick.” Rolling off your bed, Jihoon glances around before pointing at your bedroom door as you laugh, watching him try to orient himself. “Bathroom is across the hall.”
You were doing your best not to act like things were different between you and Jihoon, but the moment you stepped into the office, you were hyper aware of every little detail. You would realize you were staring at his door too long or that you were smiling at him just a little too widely before you’d quickly look away and fiddle with something on your desk.
Jihoon, on the other hand, wasn’t that concerned. He was enjoying your lingering glances and seeing a smile on your face. He wasn’t being subtle about how he was looking at you. Why would he be? You were so beautiful and his. He wanted to scream that at the top of his lungs, but he could tell that you were still nervous about it so he kept his affection for you subtle at first.
Gentle touches to your shoulder that would move to your neck when he thought no one else was looking or whispering compliments against your ear as he leaned behind you to look at something on your computer. He was just observing your work; no one could blame him.
It was all driving you crazy, and neither of you were being as subtle as you thought as Soonyoung smirked at the two of you from his desk. He knew about the date and now, watching as you sighed with a lovesick look on your face as Jihoon closed his door, leaving you to work, Soonyoung laughs under his breath, drawing your attention. “What? Why are you laughing at me?”
Putting up his hands, Soonyoung grins and turns his chair back towards his desk before leaning back in it so that he can still look at you. “You’re cute, Y/N.” Mocking your soft sigh, Soonyoung puts his hand on his chest and your cheeks heat up instantly. You hadn’t even realized you had been doing it, but hearing it come out of Soonyoung’s mouth made it obvious.
“What am I missing?” Lifting his brow, Wonwoo taps his pen against his desk as he leans forward, curious about the conversation he was being left out of. You looked like you had been caught doing something bad and Soonyoung looked like that cat who ate the canary. “Mingyu, do you know what Soonyoung is going on about?”
Shaking his head, Mingyu looks from you to the other man and purses his lips before shaking his head and looking back at his computer. “I don’t know. Y/N has been breathing louder than usual today... I just figured she had a cold.”
Nodding along with Mingyu’s words, Soonyoung gestures towards you and laughs under his breath. “She is sick, aren’t you? Love sick?” Shocked at Soonyoung’s words, you try to defend yourself when Mingyu looks up surprised; now the conversation has his attention.
“I—what? No…that’s—shut up, Soonyoung.”
Jihoon rolls his eyes hearing Soonyoung teasing you. He knew it was bound to happen. He didn’t care if any of them knew about the relationship between you and him. He was proud to call you his, but listening to you try to come up with an excuse was making his blood boil with something akin to jealousy. Jihoon didn’t want you to say there wasn’t anything between the two of you or that you were seeing anyone else. You were his, and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
Just as you start to say something else, come up with some excuse as to why you are acting the way you are. Jihoon’s office door opens and the room falls silent. Glancing around at each desk, Jihoon lifts his brow at the shift in the air before laughing under his breath. “Idiots…”
“Huh?” Your sweet, confused voice brings Jihoon back to his reason for leaving his office in the first place. Looking down at you, he coos and shakes his head, running his fingers along your cheek leaving you frozen in place. “Not you, baby. Those idiots. I have to run out for a bit. Keep this place running for me.”
Nodding, you swallow hard as Jihoon calls you baby in front of everyone. Not daring to look around even though you feel eyes on you, instead you meet Jihoon’s eyes and his possessive gaze. “Thank you.” You start to respond, you aren’t even sure what—maybe a no problem or a you’re welcome—but Jihoon’s lips brush over yours and any thought that was in your head is gone as if it never existed.
Frozen in place, you only manage to watch Jihoon pull his car keys from his pants pocket as he walks by Soonyoung’s desk and pushes his chair inwards. “Work on something, moron. Earn what I pay you.”
The sound of the office door closing and low whistles bring you back to reality. You feel the heat radiating from your cheeks and neck before you look down, smiling at your keyboard, unsure what to think or do.
“Holy shit, Y/N.”
“No, see… ‘Cause I knew they went on a date. I just didn’t know it went THAT well. I want all the fucking details, baby.”
The voices of the others in the office overlap as they continue to gossip about you and Jihoon, wanting you to give them anything, but you can only focus on the feeling of where Jihoon’s lips were.
“She’s gone. We’ve lost her. Nothing left in her head. What do you mean you knew about it, Soonyoung?”
Even a month into a relationship with you, Jihoon finds himself needing to pinch himself to make sure he’s not dreaming. He can’t get over how lucky he is as he watches you with Haein and how natural this all comes to you.
When he had adopted Haein, it was difficult. She had been a baby and there was a lot that Jihoon didn’t know. Luckily he had the support of his mother, but there was still a huge learning curve and a ton of sleepless nights filled with a crying baby, but he had a feeling that you would have picked up on motherhood so naturally.
“Isn’t Y/N dress so pretty, Haein?”
Your cheeks heat up as you glance towards the kitchen, seeing Jihoon smirking at you from behind the island as he preps dinner. Not only was the compliment from him making you weak but also just the sigh of him doing something so incredibly domestic. You loved this more than you had admitted to anyone. Yes, you had let it slip here and there to family and friends how much you were falling for Jihoon and this family dynamic, but you had never said it to him.
“It’s the mostest pretty. She’s the prettiest! I hope I can grow up and be as pretty as you, Miss Y/N.” Haein’s voice causes your chest to tighten and your heart to beat hard as you look at her sitting across from you at the coffee table. Shaking your head, you reach out to run your fingers over her cute face, hearing her giggle as she leans into your touch.
While you had fallen in love with Jihoon, you had fallen in love with Haein in a completely different way. You wanted this little girl in your life in some shape or form, no matter what happened between you and Jihoon. She had become far too important to you over the space of a month.
“You are so pretty, Haein. You are only going to get even more beautiful.” Tapping the tip of her nose, you watch the girl smile brightly at you as her shoulders rise and fall with a big breath. Jihoon’s smile matches Haein’s before he sighs and shakes his head, feeling his heart beating harder now.
“My beautiful girls. How did I get so lucky, huh?”
While Jihoon’s words make Haein giggle, your fingers holding hers as you paint them a soft pink, the words have a different effect on you. You smile but you have to bite at your cheek to keep back your emotions as Haein sighs dramatically and shrugs. “Just lucky, daddy.”
Noticing how quiet you’ve gotten as he puts the chicken into the pan, Jihoon grins at his daughter before turning his attention to you. He knew you were trying to do a good job at painting Haein’s nails, but there was something on your mind. He knew that look—your brows furrowed and your lips pursed slightly—but before he has the chance to ask if you are okay, Haein’s voice once again feels the empty space, completely unaware of anything going on.
“Daddy, can I have soda? I’ve only had one today. Ask Miss Y/N. I’ve been really good!”
The look on your face is quickly replaced by fondness as you look up at Haein reaching for her other hand. Tilting your head, you glance over to Jihoon, meeting his eyes and smiling at him as you wait for his answer about Haein’s soda, putting him on the spot.
“I—this feels like a trap. The rule is one soda a day. You’re using Y/N to get your way... That seems unfair, Haein.” Jihoon can’t help the smile that pulls at his lips when Haein tries to pout, but a laugh quickly takes the place of it and she sighs, looking at you for support.
“Tell him, I was real good. Wasn’t I? I cleaned my room, almost. Least the clothes. That’s prog-dress!”
You want to be on Jihoon’s side and tell her to stick to the rules, but the moment she tries to quote Jihoon and mispronounces the word progress, you lose any hope at telling her no. Whining softly, you look from Haein to Jihoon and tilt your head only to see him roll his eyes and lean his head back with an annoyed groan. “Fine, one more soda, you little cheater.”
Looking down at her fingers as she wiggles in place, Haein waits for you to finish the last one before she stands and starts to move towards the kitchen, only to hear you gasp her name. “Haein, baby, let me get it for you. Your nails aren’t dry yet.”
You hadn’t called her many sweet names before, so hearing you call her baby like her daddy had before puts a pout on Haein’s face as she moves to your side and wraps her arms around your neck. “Okay, Miss Y/N.”
Furrowing your brows, you put your arms around Haein at the sudden affection, looking towards the kitchen where Jihoon watches as he finishes up dinner. You can see the happy, enamored look on his face as he simply nods at you and turns to pull plates from the cabinet.
Brushing your fingers through Haein’s hair, you lean your head back to look at the girl, seeing a pout on her lips that causes your smile to drop almost instantly in concern. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
Nodding, Haein looks down shyly before muttering, “I just like you a lot. I hope my daddy lets you be my mommy. Is that cheating?”
Closing your eyes, you swallow hard as you shake your head and lean your head forward, resting your forehead against Haein’s and running your hand along her back. “No, it’s not. You know your daddy was kidding before, right? He’s just picking on you about the soda.”
You hear Jihoon moving in the kitchen, perhaps getting closer to you and Haein in the living room, but you keep your attention on the little girl in your arms as she sniffles. It isn’t until you feel the couch dip behind you and feel Jihoon’s arm move around you so that he can run it over Haein’s head that you know for sure he’s joined you both.
“What’s this about, huh? Soda? I said you could have it. I even made the chicken you like.”
Glancing up at her dad, Haein pouts at him and it almost breaks Jihoon’s heart as she slides from your arms and moves to him letting him hold her closely. “Hey, seriously, what’s going on?” Leaning back against the couch and Jihoon’s legs, you sigh softly and tilt your head back enough to meet his questioning eyes. Haein had spoken quietly and Jihoon must not have heard what she said. You knew you needed to tell him why she was acting like she was, but it was a lot to say to your boyfriend of a month.
“Uh, she’s okay, I think. Just… said she likes me and said that she hopes—um.” Licking your lips, you look down away from Jihoon, hoping it will make it less awkward to say. “That... you marry me and then she asked if that was cheating.” Laughing softly, a bit awkwardly, you press your lips together as Jihoon whispers, “Oh,” under his breath and rocks Haein gently.
“No, baby… That’s not cheating. Hey, I like Y/N. So, so, so much. Let’s leave the adult stuff like mommy and daddy stuff to us though, okay? That’s important business, not chicken dinner business.”
He was good at this, being a dad. You knew it wasn’t what he had planned but to you, Jihoon was made for it. You watched as Haein’s frown slowly turned into the smile you loved and quickly she was giggling as Jihoon’s fingers ran along her sides, tickling her. Jihoon had her nodding and then running towards the dining room table ahead of you both with the promise of soda before you could even think of the right words to help.
Taking a deep breath, you lean your head back while keeping your eyes clear of Jihoon’s. You could still feel the warmth plaguing your cheeks and when Jihoon’s fingers brush over them so does he. “Someone is embarrassed.” Rolling your eyes, you do finally look at Jihoon before leaning away from his hand, causing him to laugh and reach further to pinch your cheek. “It’s cute, baby. She likes you that much. That’s a huge deal.”
You knew it was; you honestly didn’t need Jihoon to remind you. It was weighing on you like a ton of bricks because what if Jihoon didn’t like you that much? Nodding, you sigh and move to your feet as Jihoon’s eyes stay on you. “Mm, well, like you said, this is not a chicken dinner business, Mr. Lee. Come on.” Offering him your hand, you finally smile, and Jihoon matches it, sliding his hand into yours.
Collecting dishes while ignoring Jihoon’s complaints, you move around to Haein’s empty seat before slapping at his hand as it slides along the back of your leg near your ass. Quickly glancing over your shoulder, you lean around the wall to look at Haein playing with her dolls.
“Quit, Jihoon. She might see and how are you going to explain that one to a five-year-old? Do you want to explain the birds and the bees this early?”
Grinning, he slips from his seat and slides his hand along your arm, taking the plates from your hand hearing you whine even as his lips press to your cheek. “She’s not even in the room and she’s not paying attention. Go, I’ll put these in the sink and then I’ll get her to bed.” Lifting his brows, Jihoon watches as you sigh and tilt your head, not wanting to give up. “Shoo. I wanna spend time with you tonight and I can’t until the little monster is asleep.”
You want to keep pouting or maybe stoic at Jihoon’s words, but it’s impossible when he nudges you and practically whines his words to get you moving. “Fine, fine. Hurry up.” Watching him over your shoulder, you move into the living room towards Haein, sitting on the couch behind her. It’s easy to tell she’s tired even as she pretends not to be, something you know she tends to do especially when you are around wanting just a few more minutes with you.
Trying to hide her yawn in her elbow, Haein looks up at you with a big smile but you can see the way her eyes are watering from such a big yawn. “Hi sleepy girl. Are you ready for bed?”
Shaking her head, Haein pouts dramatically, picking up the brush for her doll's hair as she leans back against your legs, letting you hold on to her. “No, not yet. I want you and daddy to tuck me in tonight. Dat okay? You’re not too sleepy, right?” As if she’s suddenly concerned you might be too tired to help her, Haein looks up at you searching your eyes, but only sees your smile.
“I’m not tired. I’d be happy to help your daddy.”
Wiggling happily in your arms, Haein looks toward Jihoon when he finally moves into the living room. Lifting her doll towards him, she giggles and leans back against your chest as if she’s claiming you. “Miss Y/N is gonna help tuck me in.”
Rolling his eyes, unable to hide his smile, Jihoon sighs and nods. “I heard, so why don’t you get your booty moving then, huh?”
Patting Haein’s stomach, you hear her laugh before she starts moving, grabbing the rest of her dolls and running towards the hallway and her room. Shaking his head, Jihoon groans under his breath as he runs his fingers through his hair, following after her. “Haein! What did I tell you about running in the house?”
You stay where you are for a moment longer, enjoying seeing yet another domestic moment from Jihoon. You wanted to capture little moments like that and put them in a book that you could look back on and remember for the rest of your life. You wanted to remember the feeling of Haein in your arms, her sweet laugh against your ear, before she happily ran off only to see Jihoon halfheartedly grumble about some rule that he wasn’t that strict about. This was your happy place now.
Hearing your name from the other room, you move to your feet and finally follow Jihoon and Haein into her bedroom. You see Jihoon putting her dolls back into her toy chest as Haein, now dressed in her pajama’s smiles at you from her bed, lifting her hands, making grabby hands.
“I’m coming; don’t worry.”
Looking over his shoulder, Jihoon scoffs seeing Haein reaching for you as you sit on the side of her bed, pushing her covers up to her chest. “Why am I here again? To put up toys?”
“Daddy…”
“Yeah, yeah…”
You smile when Jihoon sits on the other side of Haein’s small bed and leans to press a kiss to her forehead. Sighing, he sits back and tucks the covers you had moved around her body as he lifts his brow, watching how big her smile gets as she looks from him to you and back. “What? Why are you looking at us like that?”
Reaching for one of his hands and one of yours, Haein pulls them up to her lips, placing a kiss on each one before sighing happily. “Nothin’ daddy. Today was a good day. I love you.”
Furrowing his brows, Jihoon lets out a slower breath and nods in agreement with his daughter. It had been a good day. “I love you too, baby.”
You were trying not to let your emotions get the better of you as you rubbed your thumb along the back of Haein’s hand and pressed your lips together when she looked at you again and smiled brightly, reminding you of a mixture of Jihoon and the picture of Jihoon’s brother in his office.
“I love you, Miss Y/N. I hope you sleeps good. Thank you for tucking me in.”
Leaning your head back to stop the tears that had gathered on the rims of your eyes from falling, you nod and laugh softly as you sniff lightly before looking down at Haein. “You’re welcome and I hope you sleep good.” Looking at Jihoon, uncertain if you should say that you love Haein back, you see the fondness in his eyes so you simply smile and meet Haein’s eyes once again. “And I love you too.”
It was a big step you had made with Haein and Jihoon with those three little words, but you had meant them. Haein was thrilled to hear them, leaning up to hug you tightly before curling up back into her bed and whispering her goodnights to you both. Jihoon kept his eyes on you, reaching for your hand as he walked through the door, only stopping to close it behind him, telling Haein he loved her once more before letting it click behind him.
You were nervous and Jihoon could tell. He could feel your hand trembling in his; he could feel how you almost wanted to pull away from him, but he wasn’t going to let you spiral. Instead, he pulled you back to him as soon as the two of you were in the living room and held you close, resting his lips against the side of your head.
“Thank you, Y/N. That meant a lot to her and to me.”
Closing your eyes, you sigh softly, resting against Jihoon, feeling his fingers run along your back as he soothes your nerves. It was scary to be this close to someone emotionally and yet it was all you wanted when it came to Jihoon and Haein. When you weren’t with them, it felt like you were homesick.
“Mm, I was hoping that it wasn’t crossing the line. I never wanna do—”
Shaking his head, Jihoon leans back and cups your cheek in his hand, causing you to stop speaking mid sentence. You can see the look in his eyes. He didn’t want you to finish what you were going to say. You were always doubting yourself, especially when it came to him and Haein, and perhaps you didn’t need to.
“Enough of that, please? You are so important to us. You’ve never crossed a line. I—” Sighing, Jihoon slides his fingers down from your face to your neck as he looks over your face, trying to think of the right thing to say. You hear the slight whine in his voice, the nervousness that he has to fight in order to get out his words. “I love you, Y/N.”
The tears that you had to fight back in Haein’s room weren’t nearly as easy when it came to Jihoon. Turning your head from him, you close your eyes and still tears manage to slip on to your cheeks before you can reach up to wipe them away. Concerned, Jihoon leans his head towards yours and gently turns your face back towards him to see you smiling, a soft whine of protest slipping from your lips that makes him laugh when he realizes you are okay.
“I thought—why are you crying, baby? I didn’t mean to make you sad.”
Shaking your head, you reach up with one hand to hold Jihoon’s wrist as you open your eyes and pout at him when you see the smile on his face. “I’m not sad, Jihoon. I’m really happy. I’m so happy that it’s stupid. I don’t deserve any of this.” Gesturing towards the hall behind him, you sniff back more tears as Jihoon reaches up with his free hand to swipe away your tears with his thumb. “Not Haein loving me and especially not you.”
You watch as Jihoon’s head tilts in confusion, as if your words were in another language that he couldn’t possibly understand. Reaching for your hand, Jihoon sighs under his breath and walks you a few steps backwards as you whine his name until you feel the wall behind your back. “Says who? You deserve the world, Y/N and if it’s the last fucking thing I do, I’ll make sure you get it. So don’t you say shit like that. I meant what I said. I love you. So, if you love me too…” Sighing once again, Jihoon looks nervous once again, almost avoiding your eyes until he makes himself meet them so you know he’s serious. “Say it back.”
Jihoon was one in a million. You think back to that day when you walked in, nervous and falling over your feet at your interview. You had sat down in front of him and the other men who you now called some of your best friends, but you had made eye contact with Jihoon first. Never in your life did you think that you would end up where you are now and be able to look at him and tell him exactly how you were feeling.
“I do, Jihoon. I love you.”
Sighing in relief, Jihoon rests his forehead against yours and smiles softly. You feel his hands slide along your arms down to your hands, where he links his fingers with yours. He stays like that for a moment until he can’t stand not to have your lips on his and then he gives into his need and tilts his head, finding what he wants. The soft sigh that leaves your lips causes Jihoon to furrow his brows as his right hand tightens in your left before he drops your right and slides his hand along your side, pushing you tighter against the wall.
Jihoon speaks against your lips between kisses, “I gotta get you somewhere else. Fuck, baby… I’ve been thinking about this. About you all day.”
Leaning your head back as Jihoon brushes his lips against your jaw, you smile, feeling shy, though you know it’s just the two of you in the room. You knew that Haein was in her room and hopefully asleep, but you knew it was better if the two of you didn’t start something like this in the living room. Jihoon’s confession of his thoughts about you makes you swoon as you whine his name, pulling at his hand and leaning towards the left and the hallway that would take you both towards his room.
“Mm, I know. You’re right.” Kissing your neck, Jihoon relishes in the sound of your choked moans before he pulls away, feeling how tight his pants have gotten from just kissing you. Tugging on your hand, he glances over at you, seeing that look in your eye—the one that quickly became one of his favorites. You still seemed so innocent even though Jihoon had ravished you in his bed and yours more than once over the span of your relationship. You were batting your lashes at him, looking down and smiling like you were shy about the entire situation, it was driving Jihoon crazy.
Pushing open the door to his room, Jihoon feels you pull towards his bed, only for him to guide you back towards him. “Nu-uh, baby. Not yet… I have other plans for us. How does a bath sound?”
Biting at your bottom lip, you can’t help the way your lips pull up into a giddy smile at the idea of taking a bath with Jihoon. You loved every moment with him. He made you feel like royalty no matter what the two of you were doing, but in bed you were his goddess, and he took his time with you. You could only imagine how good he could make you feel with warm water surrounding your body.
Nodding, you keep your fingertips resting on Jihoon’s as he leads you into his large ensuite before he finally drops your hand and moves to the oversized soaker tub, turning on the taps as he sits on the side of the tub. You had been in his bathroom a few times, but it never ceased to amaze you just how different he was living compared to you.
You were used to a small bathroom with a shower tub combo, and Jihoon’s ensuite had an open shower with a rainshower head, a soaker tub, and a double vanity. It was almost overwhelming how much space there was, and you find yourself daydreaming about what Haein had said and if you might end up here one day. How would you ever really adjust? It was nice for a visit, almost like a luxury vacation, but could you handle this every day?
Jihoon watches you as you seem to wander in the bathroom, your fingers running over the quartz countertop as his fingers trail through the warm water that was beginning to rise in the tub. You were almost overwhelming and stunning. He could watch you forever, just enjoying being in your presence. If it weren’t for the small pout on your lips and the need racing through him, Jihoon might let you keep wandering, but instead he reaches for your hand and brings you back to reality and to him.
“What were you thinking about so hard, beautiful?” Reaching behind you, Jihoon finds the zipper of your dress and slowly pulls it down, letting his other hand rest on your hip as you look down at him thoughtfully.
Shrugging, you lift your hand and run it through Jihoon’s hair, pushing it away from his forehead before smiling with a shake of your head. “Nothing important. Just admiring the bathroom. It’s really nice.”
Taking a look around the room quickly, Jihoon shrugs a bit and tilts his head as he lifts his hands and slides your dress off your shoulders, letting it fall on its own to the floor at your feet. His eyes move from your face down your body as he takes in a deep breath of appreciation for what’s in front of him.
“You’re worth admiring, baby. I’ll never get over this. If I get the chance—” Smiling to himself, Jihoon bites his lip and leans to kiss your stomach before gaining the courage to finish his thought. “If I get the chance to, I wanna undress you every day for the rest of our lives.” Glancing up at you as he reaches to gently tug the straps of your bra down your arms, Jihoon gauges your reaction before he smirks. “Is that too forward?”
You understand the implications of what Jihoon is saying, but you aren’t sure how to answer or if you remember how to breathe, so instead you just whine his name. Whining Jihoon’s name was something you were good at. He seemed to understand what you were trying to say anytime you did it, so you hoped he would this time as well.
Shaking his head as you whine, Jihoon stares as more of your skin is exposed, each cup of your bra falling forward, allowing your breasts to spill out for him. “I know, baby. It’s okay, just let me take care of you.” Reaching behind him, Jihoon turns off the water and returns to his task of undressing you.
With each piece of clothing that hits the floor, his lips walk over your skin and he leaves you breathless and dripping. Gripping at Jihoon’s skin, you find yourself whimpering when he takes your hands, pulling them from his shirt so he can stand up and take a step away from you.
“Here, angel. Get in the tub for me.” Taking Jihoon’s hand, you let out a happy sigh as you step into the warm water, feeling the warmth run from your toes to your head instantly. Settling into the water allows you to finally look up at Jihoon, and you realize he is still dressed. He had spent his entire time undressing you and getting you comfortable before he had even paid himself any attention.
“Hoon… I—why didn’t you let me help you? Come here, baby.”
As much as Jihoon loved hearing you call him baby and as much as he wanted your hands on him, he was enjoying the sight of you in the water even more. Shaking his head, he smiles and works the buttons of his shirt open, quickly dropping it on the floor as you pout up at him. “Don’t pout, baby. Lay back for me... Shit, you look so beautiful. Does that feel good?”
Jihoon watches as you do as he asks; you do lean back and you think you might “punish” him for not letting him touch him by touching yourself. You quickly find that it has the opposite effect on him; he doesn’t feel punished. Instead, Jihoon feels honored to see your fingers move over your body and between your legs.
Nodding to Jihoon’s question, you move your legs apart further, letting him see through the clear water as you drag your middle finger through your folds over your clit. “Yeah, it does, but Jihoon?”
Groaning to the sound of your voice, Jihoon tugs hard on his belt, pulling it loose quickly. “Yeah, baby? Fuck, you are killing me.”
“I want you in this tub with me. Can you go faster?”
That was all the inspiration Jihoon needed to get his pants and briefs off in record time. Kicking them free of his foot, Jihoon curses under his breath as he moves towards the tub, keeping his eyes on your fingers under the water. He had been enjoying the visual, but now he was getting possessive. He was a jealous man and that came to even you touching yourself. He preferred to be the one making you moan.
Getting into the tub behind you, Jihoon slides his legs on either side of yours before reaching around your body to grab your hand and pull it carefully from your pussy. With his lips next to your ear, Jihoon grins and takes your hand from the water, bringing your fingers to your lips as he sighs. “Enough of that. I’m here now, but tell me... How does my beautiful girl taste?”
Opening your mouth, you let Jihoon put your fingers on your tongue before closing your lips around them and sucking them clean. There isn’t much of your taste on them after being in the water, just enough that to know that you were wet despite being in the tub. Leaning your head back to pull your fingers from your mouth, you take a breath and lick your lips. “Okay, but not as good as I know you taste.”
Jihoon knew differently. He knew that you were the best thing he had ever tasted in his life. Letting go of your hand, Jihoon runs his fingers between your breasts and over your stomach until he finally can dip them between your legs to where your fingers had once been. Turning his fingers slightly towards his palm, he works two of his fingers into your warm entrance as you moan his name.
You were already clenching around his fingers and Jihoon knew starting with two was pushing you, but between the water and how slick you felt, he knew you could take it. He could feel your pussy sucking his fingers in as your clit started to throb against his palm. “Such a good fucking girl. I love this pussy so much.” Turning his head towards yours, Jihoon presses a kiss to your neck and groans as he rocks his hips against your ass and back, letting you feel his hard cock pressing against you. “Baby… I’m gonna fuck you so full.”
Resting your head back against Jihoon’s shoulder, you hold on to his thigh under the water as his fingers thrust into you, pushing you closer and closer to your orgasm. Between his fingers and his words, Jihoon was taking you to the edge and he wasn’t looking back. “Please, please, please... Oh, my god!”
Water moves like a wave as you arch your body hard, pushing against Jihoon’s fingers to fuck yourself on them as you ride out your orgasm. Gasping loudly, you close your eyes tightly and dig your nails into his thigh before falling slack against his body, your thighs shaking.
“Goddamn, babe. That was so fucking hot.” Sliding his fingers from you, Jihoon’s speaks against your neck between kisses. “I gotta see your pretty face. Please, honey?” Kissing up to your ear, Jihoon runs his fingers back up your stomach to your breast, squeezing gently as he practically begs you to turn around in the tub to face him.
With a deep breath, you nod once you feel like you can move. Letting Jihoon help you move, you shift on his lap to sit on over his thighs. “This better?”
Able to see you and touch you, Jihoon runs his hands along your sides to your hips and around to your back as he leans back in the tub. This was much better. This was like a dream. You had asked to ride him a few times, but each time you had seemed shy when the moment came. Now you were in the perfect position to do it. “Much… I can see your face and—” Reaching down to stroke his cock, Jihoon lifts his brows as he nudges his head between your folds, causing you to gasp and jerk in surprise at the feeling. “You can sit on my cock.”
Jihoon had talked dirty to you in bed, but there was something about tonight. He was extra confident, and you didn’t hate it. His confidence was something that had drawn you to him in the first place. There was something about a confident man who wasn’t overly cocky. Jihoon was the type of confident person who knew when to still have humility, and in bed wasn’t one of those times. He could worship the ground you walked on and the bed you laid on all while having you whining his name.
“Hoon…” His name comes out like a gasp on a breath as Jihoon teases your clit with the head of his cock once again, feeling you roll your hips towards him. Hissing under his breath, he lifts his eyes towards yours as a smirk pulls at one side of his lips. Holding on to your hip with one hand, the other still holding his cock, he coaxes you up and helps you ease down over him inch by inch until you are sitting flush over his hips. The warmth of your pussy enveloping Jihoon completely causes him to feel like he’s going to explode.
“Feel so good. God, baby. So, warm and tight. Holding me so good.” Jihoon nods as you whine out a yeah in question. “Yeah, angel. You are perfect. When you’re ready, just let me know. You can ride me or I can move. Up to you, honey.”
Leaning your head forward as the stretch becomes pleasure, you hold on to Jihoon tightly with your arms around his neck. A moan slips from between your lips when you roll your hips over his cock, feeling him almost deeper than you have before. The sensation is both overwhelming and satisfying, making you want to do it again and again.
“Jihoon… Oh, my God.” You speak between breathy moans as you try to keep a pace, rocking your hips over Jihoon’s, lifting your hips, and using your knees to fuck yourself over his cock, but it’s too much. You quickly start to get tired. Between the drag of the water and the pleasure building slowly in your abdomen, you get frustrated and cling to Jihoon as he watches you intently.
He had known this would be one of the best experiences of his life. But Jihoon also knew you wouldn’t be able to keep up the pace you were going for too long. You were his pillow princess and from day one Jihoon had promised not to make you do anything in bed; he aimed to keep that promise even out of bed.
Sliding his hands along your thighs with a low groan, Jihoon finally finds your hips and grips them tightly. “I know, baby. Shh, let me do the work, huh?” Shaking his head in amazement of you, he rests his head back against the porcelain and keeps you in place with his hands as he thrusts his hips up hard. The sound you make is worth the water that splashes over the side of the tub, as it causes Jihoon’s cock to twitch inside of you before he thrusts again deeper.
“Fuck…” While he knew that the two of you were on the other side of the house, Jihoon bit at his lips to keep his voice down. You were heaven to be inside of and to watch. Not only were you clenching around him like a warm, soft vice, but you looked like you were straight out of a piece of art. Jihoon wanted to run his hands all over your body, from the line of your neck as you leaned your head back to the swell of your breasts as they moved with each one of his quickened thrusts, and finally down into the water to where his cock was being squeezed so well.
“Please, please… Oh, Hoon.”
Jihoon was right on the precipice of his climax. Each one of your moaned words was followed by whine and it was almost sinful how much he wanted to capture it on a recording so he could listen to it over and over again. He could imagine himself locked away in his studios on one of his many long nights with his hand around his cock as he listened to your fucked-out voice, remembering how good it felt to be inside of you. Remembering what was waiting for him once he got home.
You, at home waiting for him. That was the thought that pushed Jihoon over the edge. Groaning your name, Jihoon holds your hip so tightly he’s afraid he might leave a bruise, but in the moment he just needs something to ground him. With his other hand, he slips it between your legs and listens to your moans get louder and higher in pitch as he urges you to follow him and to cum on his cock.
“God, yes, that’s my girl. Cum with me. All over my cock, baby.” Nodding, Jihoon watches your mouth fall open and he feels your walls tighten and quiver around him as your orgasm rips through you. You had been wet before, but between his cum and yours, Jihoon finds himself slipping his fingers alongside his cock to feel the cum as it seeps into the water. “Told you I’d fill you up, pretty girl.”
It was always a tight fit for you to take Jihoon’s cock so feeling the extra pressure of his fingertips next to his softening cock has you whimpering. Resting your cheek on his shoulder, you lean in far enough to press your lips to Jihoon’s neck before complaining about the feeling and wiggling your hips hearing him chuckle under his breath.
“Sensitive…”
“I know you are baby. Can’t help myself sometimes. If we were in bed, I would have watched it run out of you.”
Making a face, you scrunch up your nose and bury your face against Jihoon’s neck. “You’re embarrassing.”
Wet fingers move over your head and down your back as Jihoon lets himself soften inside of you completely, neither of you in a rush to move too quickly. He laughs, feeling your cheek heating up against his skin and your muffled words. “Am I? You don’t like it? I love watching my cum dripping out of you. Means you’re mine...”
Whining again, you nip gently at Jihoon’s neck, hearing him laugh before it quickly turns into a groan at the feeling. He knew what he was doing. There were many nights where one round would turn to two after, but you were just happy to be in his arms. “You are a control freak, Lee Jihoon.”
You weren’t wrong. Jihoon smirks, lifting his brow as he sinks a bit further down in the water, knowing the two of you can’t stay in the tub for much longer. There was nothing clean about this water anymore and he needed to get you taken care of sooner rather than later. It was just difficult not to have you in his arms for as long as possible, and it was even harder not to keep you on his cock if he could.
“So? You say that like it’s a bad thing. I think it’s one of the reasons you fell in love with me.”
Jihoon can feel your lips pull up into a smile and it makes his lips do the same. You did love him and he loved you. That wasn’t going to change. In Jihoon’s mind, you were it. You were his one and only. He had been taught that great love comes around once in a lifetime and he was holding on to his.
Feeling warmth moving along your skin, you hum softly as your lips turn up in a smile against your pillow. While your bed at home was comfortable, it did not compare to Jihoon’s bed. Pulling your knees up towards your stomach, you snuggle with the pillow for a moment longer before stretching your hand out to where Jihoon had been the night before, when the two of you had fallen asleep. A pout takes the place of your smile when all you feel is satin sheets that have been warmed by the early morning sun.
“Hoon?” Your voice is nothing more than a whisper. Between just waking up and how much Jihoon had loved you the night before, you find your throat is dry and a bit tender. Clearing your throat, you sit up and glance around the room, only seeing specks of dust in the rays of sunlight that manage to peek through the blinds.
Starting to say his name again, you stop when the sound of music catches your attention. It’s quiet and at a distance, making you realize that Jihoon is in his studio. Biting at your lips, you slip from the bed and pull on one of Jihoon’s button-ups along with a pair of shorts from the drawer dubbed as yours before you tiptoe out of the room and down the hall.
You find the door cracked; trying to sneak in, you push on the door handle with one hand and the frame with the other. The song is one you don’t recognize. You can hear Jihoon singing quietly under his breath, no words fully formed and the melody still scattered and yet it is beautiful.
Still tiptoeing and trying to stay quiet, you watch Jihoon working diligently on the project from a distance. He was always a hard worker, putting his all into anything he did—but this seemed different, this seemed even more important to him.
Titling his head, Jihoon scratches at his scalp a bit annoyed as he reads over the music in front of him. This had to be perfect because it was—the sound of the floorboards creaking behind him makes Jihoon sit up straight before he spins his chair to find you wincing as you walk towards him like a burglar from a cartoon, one leg still in the air. While Jihoon wants to be upset that you are sneaking around and spying on him, he knows that isn’t what you are doing, and you look so cute that he can’t help but to laugh.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Shaking his head, Jihoon turns and quickly minimizes what he’s working on before leaning to grab your hand and pulling you to him to sit on his lap in his chair. Nudging his nose against your shoulder, Jihoon watches your eyes move to his computer as you pout and look back at him apologetically.
“I heard music and I wanted to see what you were doing without bothering you. Plus, you left me in bed alone. I was missing you.”
Sighing softly, Jihoon kisses the back of your shoulder as he presses his hands to your stomach through his shirt. “I missed you too. You looked too peaceful to wake up; besides, I got up a long time ago. You needed more sleep than me.”
Turning to the side in Jihoon’s lap, you shake your head to disagree with him. In your mind, you didn’t need anything if it didn’t include Jihoon, whereas in his, he would do anything to make sure you were happy and healthy.
“No, but I do love your bed. It’s so nice.” Gesturing to his computer, you rub your lips together as you tap your fingers along his arm, being tempted to reach for his mouse to reopen the project he was working on. “What were you doing? The song seemed really pretty. I’ve never heard it before.”
Jihoon knew you were going to ask, but he was hoping he could distract you enough or get you on to something else with your day before you’d remember. Rolling his eyes in faux annoyance, Jihoon leans his head back, reaching over to his mouse to close the project, completely leaving it hidden on his computer. He hears you gasp when you can’t see it anymore on the taskbar.
“It’s... a surprise. I’m writing a song for you and it’s not finished. So keep your greedy little paws off my computer, you hear me?”
The idea of Jihoon writing you a song makes your heart swell with emotions. Staring at him, you aren’t sure what to do or say at first so you nod and then shake your head, hearing Jihoon laugh as he copies you. “You did hear me or you didn’t, Y/N?”
“I did! I heard you, Jihoon, but... you, what? Really? For me? When can I hear it? Can’t I see it now? Oh my god, baby... that’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever told me.”
You were gushing and while Jihoon loved hearing you spiraling for a good reason, he wasn’t going to give in and let you see or hear something that wasn’t perfect. Shaking his head, Jihoon laces his fingers with your left hand and leans to kiss your neck with a soft hum. “No, you can’t see it now. It is for you and I will give it to you, I promise.”
Scoffing, you lean into Jihoon’s kiss, listening to his words. He was giving you half answers. Whining his name, you lean away from his body some to see him better as he laughs under his breath and sighs your name in return as his fingers slide to play with your ring finger of your left hand. “Y/N… I—I’ll give you the song on our wedding day. How ‘bout that?”
The answer stuns you and makes your face bloom with heat. Glancing away from Jihoon, you try to keep the tears that threaten to collect on the rims of your eyes from spilling over as he lifts your hand to his lips, kissing the back of it. “Hm? Does that sound fair?”
When you nod, Jihoon grins against your hand and sighs. “Good, because I love you so much and I wouldn’t give you anything unless it’s perfect.”
Jihoon watches your bottom lip stick out slightly as you pout tears finally making their way to your cheeks when you blink a few times trying to regain your composure only to fail. “I love you. You’re already perfect; nothing has to be perfect. Why would you say that to me, Jihoon? Don’t tease me.”
Smiling, Jihoon shakes his head and pushes on your pout with his thumb before turning your face towards him so he can wipe away your tears. “Who’s teasing anybody?”
READ THE BONUS ON PATREON
© onlymingyus - all rights reserved. Reposting/modifying of any fic, or pieces of original writings posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations not allowed.
Comfort In You (1)
Pairing : Kwon Soonyoung x Reader
Genre : Fluff, Angst
Warnings : Jihoon is rude
Dates Like You (2)
When you fight with your best friend, it drains you emotionally and you fall asleep in your car only to wake up to your crush's face. Thankfully, he's good at comforting people.
You were kind of nervous when you enter Jihoon's studio after not meeting up with him for almost 3 weeks. Part of you wanted to blame him for not answering to any of your calls or messages. The other part knew that he was probably just busy, being a song producer.
Jihoon had been your friend for literally 10 years. When you met him he was just the cute, shy boy who had a big passion for music. That passion led to him being one of the best song producers in South Korea. And you were with him throughout all of it. It wasn't like him to ghost you all of a sudden.
You clench the plastic bag filled with Jihoon's favorite food as you walk to his room. You knock on the door and you hear some rustling noises from inside.
"Yeah, coming"
When Jihoon opens the door, you can barely recognize him. His eyes were covered with dark circles and his hair was a mess. He looked like he hadn't slept for days.
You expected him to at least smile at you but what you got instead was a hard glare.
"What are you doing here?" Jihoon asks, his voice cold.
"I brought you food. You weren't answering my calls or texts so I got worried," you say with a smile.
"Who asked you to bring me food? Do you think I'm a child? I can get myself food if I want"
You stare at him, trying to process what he just said. It was fine if he was busy but he didn't have to show his frustration towards you, right?
"Well, I just bought these. You can eat them later or something"
"Gods, why are you so annoying?"
Upon hearing this, your chest burns with anger. Why was he acting like you weren't suddenly friends anymore?
"Annoying? Me? I was worried about you, you bastard. How dare you call me annoying?"
Jihoon's eyes didn't even have a hint of regret or guilt.
"You're wasting my time"
Your eyes burn as tears threaten to fall. You wipe them away with your sweater.
"You," you point as finger at him ,"are not worthy of being my friend anymore"
"I'm glad. You were a pain in the back anyways"
Those words hurt like a slap across the face. How long was he thinking like that? Were all those moments you had fun just fake? Millions of questions swarm in your head.
"I was there for you when you were at your worst. Let's see who's going to collect shit up for you from now on," with that being said, you leave Jihoon's place.
When you get in your car, you cannot help yourself but cry. He was your friend of 10 years. How can he suddenly be so rude and break your heart? You didn't deserve it. You rest your head on the steering wheel and close your eyes.
As the night sky stays calm as always, you fall asleep, tears staining your cheeks.
↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ- ↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-
You wake up to the sound of someone knocking on your window. Your eyes flutter open and you immediately blink, trying to get used to the sudden brightness.
As you rub your eyes, you turn to look at your window only to find Soonyoung with a concerned look on his face.
Soonyoung was your and Jihoon's friend. You had a tiny crush on him but never told anyone. He was this cute, shy and hyper guy that never failed to make you laugh.
You open your car door and Soonyoung crouches down so that he was on eye level with you.
"Let me drive you home"
↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ- ↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-
The silence wasn't uncomfortable. That was for sure. You didn't say anything when he offered to drive you but moved to the passenger's seat which indicated that you agreed.
He didn't question you, asking what happened which reminded you once more why you really like him.
"Do you want to eat?" he asks and before you can say anything your stomach started to rumble. Great timing.
Soonyoung laughs, "I guess that's a yes". Your face flushes in embarrassment.
"What do you want to eat?"
"Ramen"
"Okay"
You look at him, surprised. Usually the type of reaction you get from people(mainly Jihoon) when you say you wanted to eat Ramen for breakfast was a mortified look.
Soonyoung must have noticed your widened eyes because he immediately says, "I know what you're thinking. It's fine. You've had a hard day. You deserve to eat something you like"
You were already starting to feel a bit better. You smile, happy that Soonyoung was there for you when you needed someone. Still, Jihoon had been there for you all those years. Suddenly, removing him from your life seemed like something impossible.
You turn to look at Soonyoung and noticing his faint yet contagious smile something clicks in your mind.
With this boy in your life, anything was possible.
"So, do you know any good place to get Ramen?"
↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ- ↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-
"I'm glad you decided to do this for me today. Thank you so much," you pat your stomach which was full from all the Ramen you had eaten and some macarons you had gotten from a cafe nearby, "Do you want to come in?"
"It's okay. I have to go for dance practice right now anyways," Soonyoung says, rubbing the back of his neck, his cheeks dusted in pink, "I had a lot of fun even if my plan was only to make you feel better"
"In that case, I'd say it worked very well. I had fun too"
"Just so you know, Y/n, you don't deserve whatever that made you cry"
You look at him, silently deciding whether to tell him about your fight with Jihoon or not. You decided to go with the former.
"Jihoon fought with me. Called me annoying and a pain in the back. I'm not sure if we can ever go back to being friends anymore," you tell him. Soonyoung looked like he couldn't believe it.
"I don't know what's gotten into him but I am not talking to him until he apologizes to you," he huffs and you try to keep yourself from pinching his cheeks because he looked so adorable.
"It's okay, Soonyoung. You don't have to do that. I'm the one he doesn't want to talk to. I don't want your friendship to be ruined because of me"
Soonyoung gives another huff, "Leave him. He'll come back to you once he gets a brain surgery done. I mean ho-," you didn't know what had gotten you so bold but you had already pressed your lips against his to shut him up. Soonyoung gives a startled squeak just before you pull away.
"I'm sorry. I think you have to get to practice. See you some time later. Bye," you say and before the poor boy could say anything you had already closed your door.
You lean your back against the door, trying to calm your racing heart. Did you just ruin everything?
On the opposite side, Soonyoung had a hand covering his flushed face and a small smile appeared on his face.
"I do have to go to practice now but I'm taking you out tomorrow. Get ready," he shouts before walking away, his lips still lingering from the kiss you had given.
Inside, you were grinning like a baboon. You thought about how bad everything had started but now the fight with Jihoon was fading from your mind.
Something about Soonyoung was just so comforting that it made you forget everything else.
Maybe, that's why you liked him so much.
↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ- ↶*ೃ✧˚. ❃ ↷ ˊ-
𝔥𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔤 - 𝔩𝔧𝔥 || 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔳
pairing: lee jihoon x female!reader genre: historical au, fluff, angst, smut (later routes), supernatural members: choi seungcheol, wen junhui, kwon soonyoung, jeon wonwoo, lee seokmin, kim mingyu, boo seungkwan, lee chan, hong jisoo, xu minghao, choi hansol warnings: crass humor and language, blood, violence, mentions of suicide, alcohol, minor character death, major character death, 660's sexism, crossdressing, medical procedures, political upset, historical inaccuracies for the sake of plot progression word count: 18k
taglist: @reiofsuns2001, @hipsdofangirl, @lovrehani
𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔦𝔳 || 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔳𝔦
January 3rd, 665 – Seorabeol, Kingdom of Silla
Just before the year ends, it’s decided that Seungkwan’s condition had worsened and he’d contracted both what your father had once called phthisis. The disease isn’t uncommon, but it is incurable. You’d had suspicions that he had contracted phthisis when he’d first began to lose strength, but never wanted to admit to such a devastating thing. The entirety of the Hwarang are shaken by the news.
It’s come to pass that he and Youngmin are to be sent to Daegaya, where Namekawa Yasuo can look over them as they receive treatment.
Despite them leaving, Seorabeol is still on high alert. The Hwarang remain on standby at Kim Seokmin’s residence as the year begins to shift to the next. Your hope that the thoughts of war would wane lasts only three days into the new year.
A coalition of soldiers claiming to be from Baekje invaded a town on the western front of where the Baekje-Silla border once was. Violence broke out and suddenly, the war had begun. Groups of these revivalists began to spring up in the kingdom as well, the closest having come to burn down Kim Seokmin’s residence late at night. For now, the only option for you is to retreat from the heart of the capital.
Your feet slap the road as you race through the emptied streets, only pausing to catch your breath as your partner stops beside you.
“Are you alright?” Eunseok asks, sounding almost as out of breath as you, “We can stop if we need to.”
“We can’t afford to do that,” you shake your head at him, “I’ll be alright.” Wiping the sweat from your brow, you take a deep breath and urge your aching feet to move once more. Under Jihoon’s orders, the two of you are to make your way to Hwaseong, a temple that lies some ways away from the outskirts of the city’s domain. The Hwarang had been dispatched to roam the outside of the city, looking for traitors as the Silla army began to make their way to protect the king.
“I know this isn’t going as planned,” Eunseok says as the two of you begin to pick up pace, “Commander Lee admitted as such…” To have Jihoon admit to anything near defeat is startling to hear, but the raid on Kim Seokmin’s residence had shaken the Hwarang more than any Demon attack had. “I’ve never been as good with a sword as the rest of the men,” the captain offers a small smile, “But I can aid the Hwarang in other ways.”
It took several hours to reach Hwaseong, Jihoon’s hope is to use this place as the Hwarang’s new station, where he could station his men and launch attacks.
“Why are the gates closed…?” An uncomfortable silence encapsulates the area, there aren’t any other people here.
Suddenly a whir of wind passes by you both, an arrow sinking into the ground behind you. Eunseok immediately grabs your wrist and drags you into the tree line beyond the temple’s entrance.
“They’re shooting at us? I thought they were supposed to be friendly—” You say as Eunseok lets go of you, looking at the walls of Hwaseong.
“Either the loyalists have already taken over or they’ve been against us all along…” He murmurs as to not draw any attention, “We need to get back to the other captains.”
“But the Commander said to—”
Eunseok merely shakes his head, “It’s clear by now that this place is hostile towards us. It won’t do us any good to stay around it any longer.”
“But if we leave what’ll happen to everyone else?” Your gaze looks back to the temple, “If we say that it’s orders from Commander Lee…”
You’d never seen Eunseok look this serious before. “I want to help him as much as you do, but my job isn’t merely to ask for aid. It’s to protect you as well. If something happens to you now then I will have failed him twice, come on.”
His hand finds your shoulder after a moment of silence, his expression softens, and he gently urges you, “I’m sure the Commander will come through with one of his brilliant plans. But if we’re to see it, we’ll need to be alive. The men will be worried if we don’t head back soon.”
By the time the two of you near the Hwarang’s encampment on the outskirts of the city, you notice that something feels… wrong.
“Aren’t we supposed to meet the others here?” You ask, looking around the empty clearing, void of any sign that the Hwarang had been here. “Did we get lost?”
“No,” Eunseok shakes his head, but his voice sounds uneasy, “It should just be up ahead.”
As you round the clearing, you spot something on the ground. “Eunseok! There’s someone over there!”
“That’s impossible—there’s no way the rebels would’ve gotten this far already…” He says as the two of you near the body. He wears the blues of the Hwarang, and looking up from him at the path ahead, you see even more scattered along the road.
Standing in the middle of the carnage is a face you dread to see.
“I was wondering why these men looked so familiar…” Specks of blood litter the light-yellow robes of the perpetrator as his eyes fall onto you. “You’re here after all.” Jisoo’s smile is cruel and mocking.
You—!” Too furious to speak, you glare at the Demon.
“To see that Hwaseong turned on you… Maybe following your tedious politics paid off.” He muses, shaking his head, “But I never thought I’d find you among the wreckage.” Once again glancing at the bodies, “I thought they’d provide some entertainment until you came back, but they weren’t skilled enough.”
Out of the corner of your eye, you see Eunseok’s balled fists shaking with rage. Most of the men on the ground were members of his own division.
“I was… distracted the last I saw you,” Jisoo frowns in your direction, “But this time you’ll leave with me.” You know that neither you or Eunseok could face him and win, but maybe if you go with him he’ll spare Eunseok’s life…
A hand placed in front of you as Eunseok steps forward, his other hand reaching for the hilt of his sword. “Stay back,” his voice calm as he looks at Jisoo.
Anxiousness rising, “What are you doing, Eunseok?”
“You’ll have to run for it,” he says apologetically, unsheathing his sword, “Get back to Shoji and tell the Commander… Tell him that I’m sorry and that I hope he forgives me for not being able to walk alongside him to the end.”
“No.” You say as you realize that Eunseok doesn’t intend to return to the headquarters with you, “I can’t leave you here to die!” Hand finding the sleeve on his robes, you clench to it tightly, “If I go with him then you can live!”
The smile on his lips is bitter, “Are you suggesting that I use a girl as a shield so I can escape? I’d never be able to call myself a Hwarang again.” He then shrugs off your grip, turning to face Jisoo, his hands tightening around the grip of his blade.
“Eunseok you don’t have to do this,” you plead, but he doesn’t move an inch, “Run!”
“Are you done saying goodbye yet?” Jisoo sighs out from the other end of the clearing, “I’ll give you a chance to listen to her, go on, run.” His hand flicks towards the direction of the city as he stands there.
Eunseok says nothing but charges at the Demon, his sword arcing towards the unarmed man. Jisoo’s sword unsheathes from its scabbard, too fast for you to witness him doing it, and the tip of the blade emerges from Eunseok’s back. A grunt and blood begins to bubble from the captain’s lips.
“Eunseok!” The cry rips from your throat as he falls to his knees, a deep red stain blooming from his wound.
Jisoo looks down to the Hwarang, leaning down to whisper something, “The men that I killed are yours, aren’t they? Don’t you want revenge? I understand that warriors put great stock in avenging their fallen comrades.”
The Hwarang looks up to him angrily, white-hot rage running through him. His shaking hand reaches into the depths of his robes, bringing out a small vial.
“Pimul,” Jisoo scoffs as Eunseok attempts to bring the unopened vial to his lips, “Pathetic.” Before the captain can drink the serum, Jisoo’s blade rises once more, slashing against Eunseok’s chest as sunlight glimmers off of the blade. The vial drops to the ground, cracking and leaking the red contents into the soil.
Eunseok falls forward, his hands finding the ground as he turns to look at you, red streaking from his lips as he pushes himself back to his knees weakly, “Run!”
Your feet scramble atop the loose dirt as you begin to turn as Jisoo speaks again, “You’re by far the weakest human I’ve fought. The Hwarang would allow someone like you among their ranks?” Something within you snaps, and you look back to Jisoo just as he cuts across Eunseok’s abdomen once more. Eunseok falls without a sound to the grass.
“Eunseok… Eunseok!” Even as a part of you screams at you to run, you find yourself scrambling to the fallen captain, grabbing for his hand. A friend that has become something like a brother to you, he can’t hear you cry out for him, or feel your hand encasing his. He had joined his men among the corpses littering the ground.
“Now that that’s dealt with,” Jisoo says as he stands above you, still on your knees next to Eunseok’s body, “Come with me.”
Seeing Eunseok’s lifeless body and hearing Jisoo’s cold and callous words makes fire bubble inside of you, shattering your heart as you look up angrily to the Demon. Hand grabbing desperately for the blade at your side, you rise to your feet and ready yourself to lunge at the man.
“I thought you were smarter…” He huffs, “Your time with humans has made you weak.”
“Shut up!” Burning tears trail down the sides of your face, vision blurring as you blink to look at him clearly.
“Does it bother you that I killed him? A human foolish enough to challenge a Demon, what else would have happened?”
“Shut up, shut UP!” You’ve never yelled at someone as angrily as you are now, but you’ve also never been angry enough to try and kill someone until now. “I’ll never be able to forgive you for what you’ve done!” Grip tightened on your blade, you rush forward towards Jisoo, only seeing white.
The man easily parries your attack, your sword flying from your grasp. You hunch down to reach for it, but before you can, Jisoo’s foot comes down on your arm, pining it to the ground. Pain shoots up your limb and you cry out, his gaze meeting yours, his aura radiating an abrasive arrogance.
“Even now you refuse to listen,” you feel the coolness of his blade against your throat.
“If you’re just going to treat me like an animal I should just bite off my own tongue and drown in my own blood,” you spit up angrily at him, knowing full well that there isn’t any other chance for you to escape any more.
“I don’t remember giving you permission to do that. And I also don’t care for people who can’t follow orders.” The moment you hear the voice coming from the opposite end of the clearing, your head clears.
“Jihoon!” His name rolls from your lips in a moment of relief, forgetting for a moment the blade pressed to your neck.
“I had a feeling you were in trouble but…” His eyes scan the scene, looking at the fallen men. His face falls at the sight of Eunseok’s body beside you, expression twisting with grief and regret. Jihoon’s hand reaches for his sword, pulling it from his scabbard as he looks to Jisoo with a renewed rage. The wind whispers around the blade as he marches towards the two of you.
“Another human with a death wish,” Jisoo sighs, the blade at your throat lowering as he watches the commander stride over. “It’s strange to me that you’d want to throw your life away like him… Anyway, let’s get this over with.”
“Throw his life away?” Jihoon nearly shouts, “How dare you say that he threw his life away!” In a wordless fury, he throws himself at the Demon, with all of his weight he strikes at Jisoo’s neck.
Jisoo flicks his sword up to deflect Jihoon’s with a small grunt, and for a moment the two look evenly matched. The Demon is thrown back, his feet sliding on the ground as he stops himself and glares at Jihoon.
“What?” The words fall from him without thought, as if this is the first time a human opponent has overpowered him. Jihoon sees this and doesn’t let the opening go to waste, he pushes himself towards the other again, sword hissing through the air with fervent fury.
The two are thrown back once more, Jihoon catches his breath as a small transformation overcomes Jisoo. His hair turns stark white, not unlike that of the Hwarang’s Furies, and his eyes turn golden.
“The moment your eyes behold a true Demon is the moment of your death,” Jisoo’s voice is low as he speaks to Jihoon. And with those words, the battle changes. The Demon’s sword slices and cuts through the air with ease not found in the moments prior, the only thing Jihoon can do is anticipate and block the attacks, unable to land any offensive blow of his own.
“What happened to your fire?” Jisoo quips, landing another series of blows to Jihoon’s blade.
“Damn it—” Jihoon grunts out, losing his breath with each block of his blade. All Jisoo has to do is tire out the commander and their fight would end. One particular blow sends Jihoon’s sword flying from his grasp, and you instinctively grab your own blade and run towards Jisoo, not wanting him to strike Jihoon.
“…Stay out of my way,” Jisoo pushes you aside and you fear to look in Jihoon’s direction just as you’d done with Eunseok, not wanting to see his body crumple too. He raises his sword and looks to Jihoon, “This is the end for you. Humans always seem to fight the battles they cannot win. That’s recklessness, not courage.”
As Jisoo monologues, Jihoon drags himself to his blade.
“Trying to run?” The Demon asks as the commander clutches his blade’s handle. With the last bit of strength left within him, he rises to his feet to face his foe. “I’ve made a fool of you and yet you refuse to acknowledge the difference between us.”
Jihoon stays silent at the verbal attack, quietly reaching into his robes for something. A small vial filled with red liquid.
“How far do you mean to take this idiocy?” Jisoo spits as he spots the pimul.
“Like I give a shit what you say, we were always a pack of idiots.” His voice weakened from the fight, “We shared an idiot’s dream that we were all too stubborn to give up on. We’re halfway up the hill, stumble now and we’ll have lost all we worked for.”
“Even if you become a Fury, you’ll be nothing more than a faded reflection of a true Demon,” Jisoo says, hand still holding his blade.
“You never know until you try—” The commander lifts the bottle to his lips and drinks. It only takes a few moments for the serum to take effect, Jihoon’s hair turning stark white and his eyes turning a deep crimson.
“I’ve had enough of these fucking loyalists and I’m sick of you goddamn Demons,” Jihoon’s voice is low as he looks towards Jisoo, a bitter edge to his voice, “So I’m not a real Demon? Why should I care? I was never treated like a real warrior until the Hwarang, never loved like a real son.” Eyes burning with anger as he sighs out, “Hell… Where are you supposed to find good men these days? Everyone’s too invested in their own business to care about anyone else. Try to make a difference and they’ll cut you down, I say bullshit to that!” Jihoon’s words aren’t only for Jisoo, but for Eunseok, for the counselors who opt against the Hwarang and the loyalists who infringe upon the borders of Silla.
“I believe what I believe, and I will never back down from that.” His head shakes, “Call us fake if it makes you feel better, but if we push hard enough, we’ll become what we say we are.” The predatory grin on Jihoon’s face is inhuman, “If we beat you, we become real Demons, right?”
The commander strikes forward, lunging at Jisoo with a speed akin to his. Jihoon had been beyond skilled as a human, as a Fury, though… The two clash swords once again, neither relenting in their strikes, taking no chance for the other to gain the upper hand.
“Where’s your gloating now?” Jihoon asks through clenched teeth, clearly realizing that he’s gained the advantage of superior strength. Jisoo’s sword rebounds from one of Jihoon’s strikes and he’s forced back, Jihoon leaps for the opening, aiming for the Demon.
It’s too fast for you to witness, but Jihoon’s blade grazes Jisoo’s cheek, a thin trail of blood seeping from the opening before it begins to heal immediately. The Demon jumps back, surprised at the injury as his hand raises to touch the wound.
“You look like a warrior now,” Jihoon scoffs, “How’s it feel to get cut by a fake?”
Jisoo doesn’t seem to hear Jihoon, entranced by the crimson ichor that stains his fingers. “Damn you…” Although the wound had healed, the ramifications of it had not. “Fake, how dare you draw my blood?” It must’ve been the first time he was injured by a human. His preternatural face distorts into rage and disgust. “I will never forgive you for this. I will strip you for everything that you are so that you understand true pain!”
“And the real Jisoo’s revealed,” Jihoon shakes his head, almost mocking the other, “I dare you to kill me.”
Their swords once again clash, ringing out into the woods. Jisoo fights with a newfound angst, veins on Jihoon’s neck and forehead begin to strain as he defends himself from the Demon’s blows.
“Damn you, damn you, damn you!” With each phrase, another blow from Jisoo onto Jihoon’s blade. “How dare you draw my blood?!” He’s gone mad with rage, eyes widened and bloodshot as he stares down Jihoon.
“I’ll never forgive you,” Jihoon’s blade chips with each of his own strikes, you fear that it will break under the strength of the two men, “you arrogant son of a bitch! You’re going to hell even if I have to drag you there myself!”
They leap at each other like enraged animals, blows flying so quickly you’re not sure how to tell the ones meant to block or attack apart. It’s clear that the battle would end only when one of them was dead, but it’s rapidly becoming apparent that Jihoon is fighting in a way that puts him at a disadvantage.
Prior to this, Jihoon had fought with calmness, even in the heat of battle. But that had fled with his humanity. You need to stop them before Jihoon loses himself entirely.
“What’s going on here?” A voice shouts from behind you, followed by the sound of footsteps rapidly approaching. “The commander left to see how things had gone at Hwaseong and we haven’t seen him since. Have you seen him?”
“Chan…” His name leaves you tiredly, “He’s fighting Jisoo.”
The officer stares at you for a moment before looking past you to the fight raging on. His eyes widening in shock, “That white haired Demon is… Is that a Fury? Oh my god,” he says at the realization of who it is.
“He drank the pimul,” you say and watch as Jihoon is disarmed by Jisoo, his blade clattering to the ground as the captain lands with a thud on his side.
“I am impressed that you lasted so long,” Jisoo says as he inches closer to the commander, who moves away from the Demon. “I hope you haven’t forgotten that I don’t intend to simply kill you. You’ll die, eventually, but not before I’ve inflicted all the pain I can imagine onto you.” As the advantage returns to his favor, his calm returns. “I’ll send your head back to your beloved Hwarang when I’m done, they deserve to see you at your best, after all.”
Jisoo lifts his blade, the steel clean and undamaged. Your eyes close as a horrible, wet sound rings around the clearing. Opening your eyes, blood had splattered across Jisoo’s yellow robes, but Jihoon remains unharmed. Chan kneels at the feet of the two combatants, a large gash running along his robes, blood beginning to stain the cloth.
“What are you doing, Commander?!” His voice weakened and strained, “Running off to face the enemy alone…?”
“Chan what are you…?” The commander’s speech falters as Chan gives him a small smile, his eyes shining as you’d seen them do when he and Jihoon had discussed important secrets.
“You can lose an arm or a leg, but if you lose your head you lose everything.” With that he goes limp, his body falling to the ground as blood begins to pool at his side.
You find yourself rushing to the scene, calling out to the fallen officer. The death of yet another comrade seems to pull Jihoon from his hysteria, brow contorting in bereavement.
“Chan… why…?” His hair slowly begins to shift back to its original color, the white darkens as he blinks back tears.
“Lee?! Chan?! Eunseok?!” Another voice from the depths of the woods calls out, sounding like Junhui, “Where are you guys?!”
“Damn it,” Jisoo says, his blade lowering, “There are more of you still…”
A figure in the trees emerging, but not a Hwarang. Hwan Minhyun steps forward as if to warn Jisoo to not strike again. “This will only lead to more unneeded casualties if we stay.”
“Am I supposed to let this fake go free?” Jisoo nearly spits as he looks at Jihoon.
“It would be enough to soothe your anger, sure.” A glance towards the commander, “But he’s wanted alive. For now, at least.”
Jisoo lets out a groan of frustration as he angrily sheaths his sword, understanding that it’s pointless to argue with him. “Lee Jihoon… I won’t forget your name.” He and Jihoon glare at each other with such hatred you feel as if they’d strike out yet again. Then Jisoo spins on his heels and follows Minhyun into the forest.
“There you are—” Junhui, Hansol and Mingyu break through the tree line and rush over to you. “What the hell happened here?”
“There’s dead men everywhere,” Mingyu notes, looking at the bodies, “Did you all run into loyalists? No… those blade marks…”
“Can someone attend to Chan?” Jihoon says, shakily rising to his feet, “He may still be alive.”
“What?!” Junhui says, spotting the officer’s body on the ground. “Hold on Chan,” the captain says as he begins to move to the younger “hang in there for me!”
“What’ll happen to him? Don’t tell me—” Mingyu begins as he looks over the wounds and then to you. The blade had sunk deep and you hazard a guess as to what’ll become of him.
“Don’t tell me he’s…” Junhui frowns, glancing at the body he’s trying to prop up.
“Does anyone have any cloth?” You ask, moving to kneel by Chan. “We need water and alcohol as well…”
“Here,” Mingyu shrugs off the white jacket he’d been wearing over his robes and hands it to you.
“There’s a stream nearby, I’ll go and retrieve some water.” Hansol nods.
“I’ll leave Chan to you!” Junhui says and begins to run towards the city, hopefully in search of some gokaju.
“Commander… what happened here?” Hansol questions Jihoon quietly.
Although the commander doesn’t seem to hear him, muttering to himself, “I never thought that I would sacrifice my own men so that I could survive…”
“Sacrifice?”
Jihoon looks at one of the bodies on the field, “Eunseok’s body is over there… Can you help me bury him?” He frowns and bites back against the bitter sting of tears, “His men too… It’s cold this time of year; we can’t leave them out to freeze.” You know that he wants to break down and cry more than anyone else here, easily seen in the way he struggles to grin and joke.
Unable to hold it in any longer, you bury your face into your hands and begin to sob. Eunseok had given his life to save yours, Jihoon had become a Fury to fight the Demon chasing you across Seorabeol, and Chan had been mortally wounded trying to protect Jihoon. How are you to atone for all of this?
The night of the initial attacks, Seungcheol leads his Fury Corps in a retaliatory raid. During the night, it was harder to fight an opponent who could see clearly, and the Furies capitalized on this. And it did, at first, being more successful in deterring the loyalists than they had planned. But then arrows and blades began to pierce and cut differently, the metal different from that of normal weaponry. With the situation becoming more and more dire, it seems as if most of the Hwarang allies will succumb to the loyalist and Goguryeo effort.
When dawn breaks, you awake to different news. King Munmu had sent a request to Tang in the weeks prior to the Baekje attacks, asking for aid. And during the night it looked as if the call had been answered, swaths of Tang soldiers encircling the city and pushing back the enemy forces.
Buyeo Pung is captured in this effort, but not killed. Like his father and his elder brother, he is meant to be exiled to Tang, with no chance of ever returning the kingdoms again. This diplomatic decision agreed upon by Gaozong and Munmu sates the Baekje rebellion for now, but their attention now turns towards a new common threat, the ones that had housed Pung: King Bojang and the rest of Goguryeo.
January 4th, 665 – Shoji Temple, Kingdom of Silla
“… What’s the sense in building a place this big?” Mingyu frowns as the Hwarang enter the temple, lamenting the building’s structure as it isn’t aiding their effort to find help. Him and Junhui hold up a pallid Chan, who’s shallow breathing hadn’t gotten any better during the trip here. “Namekawa said he’d be returning to Seorabeol today,” he mentions, “I plan on finding him and bringing him here.”
“Go ahead,” Jihoon nods as the pair take Chan inside.
Chan had been bleeding and groaning in pain as you’d brought him here, with the severity of his wounds you don’t see him lasting much longer. You’re also worried about Jihoon, now that he’s a Fury, being in the sunlight doesn’t bode well for him.
“Are you feeling alright Commander?” You ask and look at him.
“Surprised to see a Fury in the sunlight?”
“That’s not what I—” you mumble, “I was wondering if anything has changed.”
“Not yet,” he crosses his arms and shakes his head, “Although pretty soon it’ll probably be painful for me to even look at the sun. Might as well enjoy it while I can.”
Even if he’s joking, it makes you feel bad. As if he can tell, he speaks up again, “I’m not sure what self-deprecating tirade you’re conjuring, but the only person who made the decision to drink that stuff was me. I’ve ordered enough men to take that shit so I couldn’t chicken out when it was my turn, could I?” He offers you a smile, “I figured it would happen sooner or later.”
Even if he’s trying to assuage all of your guilt, you can’t take him at his word. He looks somewhat relieved when you look at him.
“Did something good just happen?”
The commander glances back to Shoji and laughs, “Isn’t it obvious? We have big things ahead of us. As long as we remain here, we won’t be able to lose. Maybe I’ll even get revenge on the bastards who tried to burn us alive.” The man you’d watch fight Jisoo seems to be gone, Jihoon’s face now looks determined, not driven by a maddening fury.
“Commander! There you are,” Jeon Wonwoo barrels in through the front gates of the compound, out of breath and panting.
“What’s wrong?” Jihoon asks, his brow furrowing.
“We’ve been… We’ve been ordered to Ungjin.” Jeon looks as if he’s about to keel over as he reaches into his robes to procure a document bearing the royal seal.
“Ungjin? The Baekje city?” Jihoon asks as he reaches for the parchment, “Are we not meant to stay here and keep the peace while Munmu sends his soldiers off to Goguryeo?”
Wonwoo hesitates and you surmise that it’s from reluctance, not confusion. “Munmu’s going as well… to meet with Tang advisors…”
For a moment, Jihoon stands there stunned. When he speaks, his voice is low, “What do you mean by that? Is he so eager to sell our support?”
“To be honest… I’m not sure. There have been people saying he’s meant to meet with Tang advisors over the next course of action with Goguryeo but—” Wonwoo doesn’t look pleased either.
“Damn it,” Jihoon’s fists clench angrily at his sides, “It was stupid of me to think that the fighting was over. There’s always another bastard out there for us to fight.”
January 31st, 665 – Somewhere near Sangju, Kingdom of Silla
With the aid of the Tang, Silla becomes somewhat indebted to Gaozong after the threat of Buyeo Pung is quelled. The Tang emperor quickly sets his sights on his long-term enemy, Goguryeo, and demands that Silla involve themselves to diminish their debt. As Silla and its leaders leave for Ungjin to speak with Tang ambassadors, the Hwarang find themselves swept away by the current of a larger, more looming conflict.
During the travel across Silla, you and Namekawa take turns caring for Chan as you walk with the caravan of Hwarang.
From the makeshift cot at the campsite for the night, Chan calls out to you, his voice hoarse and tired.
“Is something wrong?” You ask, saddling over to his bedside, “Does something hurt?”
“No…” a shake of his head, “I… T-There’s something that I’d like… to tell the commander…” Each breath seems like a struggle for him, “Can you… call him for me?”
For him to ask for Jihoon must mean that he knows he’s not got long left, it makes your stomach sink, but you nod your head quickly. “Just wait a moment…” You hurry from the tent and race to Jihoon, quickly asking for him to accompany you and returning to the medical tent as soon as possible.
“Chan,” your voice soft, “I brought him.”
“Thank you,” the officer’s smile weak as Jihoon walks to the bedside. His face pale, the color drained long ago, it’s heart wrenchingly clear his end draws near. Cold sweat beads at his forehead as he begins to speak quietly, “I-I’m sorry that I won’t be there for you.”
“What are you saying? If you have the energy to apologize, just focus on getting better.” Despite the harsh tone, Jihoon sounds as if he knows that Chan is dying. Yet maybe that’s why he’s still speaking normally to the officer.
“You let me… join you all even though…” Every breath ragged, every syllable sounding as if it’s a needle stabbing him, “I was never a noble, my father’s an acupuncturist… You’re letting me die a warrior all because of the Hwarang…”
“If you force yourself it’ll only hurt more,” Jihoon’s voice is low as he sits by Chan.
The officer looks to you, “Please take care of the Commander from now on… Stay by his side and help the Hwarang rise to their full potential…” Watching this is almost too much for you to bear, you can’t find the words to respond immediately.
“Say something,” Jihoon urges after a moment of silence.
Tears well in your eyes as you respond, “Just rest, Chan…”
After a while, the officer closes his eyes, breaths becoming shallow as they slowly stop, his body becoming limp. Calling his name elicits no response and you realize that he’s gone.
“At least it was peaceful…” Jihoon says as he looks down to Chan, “Almost as if he’s sleeping.”
Your knees hit the ground as the tears stream down your face.
His burial is held the next morning, the captains mourning the loss of their fallen comrade. There isn’t any way to mark his grave, just a shallow pit in the ground that he’d remain in for the rest of time.
“You alright, Youngmin?” Jihoon asks as the chief staggers over, worry tinging in his voice.
“I’m okay…” Youngmin frowns as he looks as Chan's body, encased in a shroud, is lowered into the grave. “Lee Chan was an integral part of the Hwarang. For him to leave us like this… It fills me with unimaginable sorrow. He was selfless beyond belief and I think all of us can learn from that.” The chief speaks out to the captains, you can see tears pricking at his eyes as he speaks but holds them back momentarily. “I’d like to celebrate his life, his work and his ambition… Goodbye, Chan. I pray that you watch over us proudly from wherever you are.”
“Damn you Chan,” Junhui sniffles out as several men begin to cover the grave, “How dare you die on me.”
“I’m sure he wanted this less than anyone else…” Mingyu frowns.
“I know that!” Junhui bites. Most of the men aren’t displaying their grief for the others to see, but many had tears welling in their eyes. You can assume they allow themselves their own private grief when they’re alone.
That night you cannot find it within yourself to sleep soundly as your mind is focused on Chan. You slip from your tent, intent on walking to clear your mind, when you see Jihoon standing at the edge of the encampment.
“Oh,” he says as you approach, twigs snapping under your footsteps as you near, “It’s you. Is something wrong? You’re up early.”
“I couldn’t sleep…” You sigh, “What about you?”
“…Same.” He offers a small smile as you recall his disposition.
“Ah, right…” With all that’s happened in the past few days, you’re sure that he needs time to process it on his own. His eyes travel up, to watch the stars breaking through the trees, like the ghost of the daylight haunting him from above. From the east, the pale fingers of sunlight begin to break over the horizon.
“I know you’re handling a lot right now…” Jihoon starts, looking back to you, “But they say it isn’t good for women to be out in the cold for too long, right?”
“I’ll head back inside soon.” You nod, and the conversation ends there. For a moment, you listen to the sounds of nature, of the wind whistling through the trees and the birds beginning to wake from slumber. Even with the minor distractions, you can’t help but think of those that were lost in the skirmishes.
“Until now,” Jihoon breaks the silence, “I always felt like I was trying to fight an uphill battle by trying to assert myself as a true noble, a true warrior… Never once did I ever think that the path I chose was the wrong one. Eunseok, Chan… I’m sure everyone else who died felt the same way.” His voice sounds strained as he tries to reason with his thoughts, “That’s just a more reason for us to go on, to live in their honor and fulfill what they would expect from us.”
The commander looks to the eastern sky, to the beams of light trickling to dissolve the black of night. As you watch his determination return, you feel compelled to speak,
“I need to tell you something.” You take a deep breath in, “Eunseok wanted me to tell you something before he died. He said he wanted to apologize for not being able to walk alongside you to the end. He didn’t have the words to thank you properly enough for it…” As you speak, you find your voice getting caught in your throat, choking back a cry from escaping your chest.
Jihoon stays silent and then lets out a short chuckle, “… Dammit Eunseok… What’s with the vagary? ‘Thank you’ for giving him a chance?” His voice lowers to an almost whisper, “We should be the ones thanking him.”
Without a word, the two of you watch the sun slowly rise over the horizon, its orange glow bursting into bloom once the tip of the sun breeches the skyline.
“Maybe it’s because I’m a Fury now,” Jihoon sighs out, “but that damn sun is really stinging my eyes… As soon as we get to Ungjin, we’re going to regroup and avenge Chan and Eunseok. Everyone that’s wronged us will know us, I swear it.” His face is almost gallant in the light of the new dawn, you can’t look away. His resolution to the fallen and resolution to the future is nothing short of inspiring, it gives you something to pull yourself out of the grief of battle.
June 7, 665 – Seonggwa Inn, Ungjin, Kingdom of Silla
By the time that the Hwarang finish following King Munmu of Silla to Ungjin, they find themselves holed up in Seonggwa Inn, a relatively spacious lodging, as their king speaks of a treaty between his kingdom and the Tang. With each day, the Hwarang hope that the potential of invading Goguryeo due to their aiding and abetting with the now quelled Baekje forces becomes a reality.
Silla hadn’t lost the conflict with Baekje, without the aid of the Tang the story would be entirely different though. Yet, with their aid, it had begun to expose several rifts in both the Crown and the Hwarang in favor for or against the additional help.
The recent attack on Youngmin’s life, as well as Seungkwan’s illness, has confined both of them to staying with Doctor Namekawa Yasuo to treat them. So, while they don’t remain at the newest Hwarang headquarters, they still reside within Ungjin. Although present in spirit, some of the men have begun to notice their rather large absences…
“He’s probably just run off to not have to deal with this shit,” one of the warriors guffaws at the thought of Youngmin not returning. A few others around him return the sentiment.
“He’d never do that,” a serious voice responds, and you turn to see Junghwan looking angrily at the group, “All of you are complaining instead of focusing on the work we have ahead of us.”
Normally such insubordination from a lower wang-do was met with harsh consequences, yet things had changed since coming to Ungjin.
“You all have too much to talk about, go sharpen your swords or train,” Junhui adds to Junghwan’s proclamation.
With grumbled acceptance, several of the Hwarang run off.
“I can see where they’re coming from… They’re tired, I suppose,” Mingyu huffs out, shaking his head as he watches the other scurry away. “We’ve been sitting here without orders for weeks.”
“True, but I mean… What else are we going to do while Munmu’s off kissing up to the Tang?” Junhui frowns, moving his head from side to side to crack his joints.
“Don’t give me that bullshit,” Mingyu retorts, “These men were ready to die for him not too long ago, I’m pretty sure they just want to run out the loyalists and Goguryeo soldiers just like we do.”
“So…” Junghwan murmurs, “What’s going to happen now?
“Youngmin’s stuck in bed. Even if we wanted to run after the traitors, we’re not going to be able to touch them if we leave too late,” Junhui sighs, his shoulders slumping. “Future’s looking pretty dark if we’re looking north… Maybe we oughta head to Jinro-dong again…”
“Jinro-dong?” Mingyu’s brow furrows at the mention of the nightlife district, “Really? In a time like this?”
“Of course you idiot,” Junhui scoffs, “Times like this are when we need to party hard! Gotta lift our spirits somehow!”
“Huh,” Dohoon, who’d been standing in the courtyard along you all quietly, asks, “Does anyone know where Hansol is? I haven’t seen him around lately…”
“He’s off helping Namekawa,” Mingyu explains, “We still have a lot of injured men after the last fight.”
You frown, not saying anything. Memories of the peaceful times back in Seorabeol are like a candle flickering in the wind, one breath away from turning it all into smoke. Sometimes you have to ask yourself if they really had happened at all.
June 18, 665 – Ungjin, Kingdom of Silla
When you hear footsteps walking up the entranceway of the inn, you think it’s just another Hwarang returning from town until…
“Hello,” a soft voice greets, “It’s been a while.”
“Oh,” Your eyes widen upon looking up from your work and finding Lee Seokmin standing before you. “Seokmin… What brings you here?”
“I've come to discuss a few important matters with Jihoon, would you mind taking me to him?” He asks as his shoe slowly taps at the gravelly rocks underfoot.
Sometime after you lead him to the Commander’s quarters, murmurs of conversation suddenly become exclamation.
“Are you sure?!” Jihoon says angrily as you peer into the room.
“Yes,” Seokmin nods solemnly, eyes trained on the floor, “Supposedly, an urgent matter has arisen, meaning he cannot meet with us.”
“… No.” Jihoon frowns as he shakes his head, “We need to talk to him. I don’t care how. If we don’t, we’re stuck here. I’ll go.” And with that, he storms towards you, toward the exit. He doesn’t acknowledge you as he goes, only looking as pensive as ever as he leaves the compound.
“Did something happen?” You ask Seokmin, who’s gaze had risen to watch the Hwarang leave.
“Jihoon had planned to meet with a member of the king’s council today, but I’d been informed that the man hadn’t planned on showing up, so I came to notify him.” Seokmin explains quickly.
The Commander has been attempting to gather council support to try and speed up the process of invasion, however their unwillingness to try and sway the king’s favor has led to them not entertaining Jihoon’s initiative.
“Do you think they’re just waiting until Tang makes a call?” You question timidly.
“Whatever the case, the King has instructed me to not make any rash decisions,” Seokmin hums, “Honestly, in times like these, I am a little envious of Jihoon as he can do as he pleases… Anyway, I’ll be heading out now. Please send my regards to everyone.”
“Oh, of course!” You say as you begin to walk with him towards the entrance. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t offer you more courtesy while you were here.”
Shortly after Seokmin leaves the inn, a familiar figure approaches you to ask a question.
“Is the Commander inside?” Wonwoo says as you stop outside the front door.
“Ah,” you shake your head, “You’ve just missed him, he’s stepped out for the time being… Did you have business with him?”
Wonwoo’s eyebrows raise in surprise, “Wow, ever since we’ve gotten here, he’s been working non-stop.
“I know… I seriously wonder how he finds the time to sleep, if at all.” As far as you know, Jihoon should be suffering in agonizing pain during the daytime due to his condition as a Fury. However, seeing him work as tirelessly as he does, one would have no clue of his affliction at all.
“Are you okay, Wonwoo? You look a bit more gaunt than usual…”
“Ah… Well… Ever since Chan passed away, I’ve had a lot more work to do.” Wonwoo smiles sadly, “But he left it to me, and I’ll be damned if I dishonor his memory by messing it up. And seeing how far the Commander’s pushing himself for us, it wouldn’t feel right if I just sat around here all day, you know?”
“I see…” You know exactly how he feels, yet he’s actually in a position to contribute. Unlike Wonwoo, there is nothing you can do for Jihoon, even though you yearn to be involved and do whatever you can to help.
“Well,” Wonwoo nods briefly, “I’ve got plenty more to do, so I’ll be on my way.”
“Of course, please be careful.”
“By the way,” he’d begun walking before stopping himself, “There've been a lot of killers on the street recently, looking to test their swords on a living body. Don’t travel alone, okay?”
Later that night, you’re waiting in the empty common room for the captains to return, sitting idly as your fingers tap atop the table you’re seated at when Kwon Soonyoung comes strolling into the room.
“Evening!” He greets cheerily, moving to come over and sit beside you.
“Hey Soonyoung,” you say politely, peering around him to see if anyone else has followed in behind him. “Where’s everyone else?”
“Junhui and Mingyu took the men to Jinro-dong, and, if you can believe it, they left me behind to house-sit.” He sighs out, resting his head on his chin, “I’m not their servant, you know. They can’t keep giving me this kind of bitch work… Well, I guess it’s nice that they’re acting like usual. To me, I mean. Like nothing ever changed.” His laugh sounds small in the empty hall.
“That reminds me, do you know where Seungcheol is?” You tilt your head inquisitively as you ask. “Did he go out somewhere?”
“Yeah,” Soonyoung sits up, nodding his head, “He went out on patrol.”
“Patrol?” You furrow your brow, “But we’re not in Seorabeol any more… No one’s asked us to keep peace in Ungjin…”
His face grows solemn, as if he’s quietly searching for words. “… He’s been acting weird lately. Like, today, soon as the sun went down, he said he was going on patrol. I asked if he wanted me to go with him but he said he’d be just fine on his own.”
“I’ve heard that there’s been a lot of killings at night recently, maybe he’s going out to try to learn about who or what’s causing it?” Seungcheol may not have the same authority here that they had in Seorabeol, but they do still work for the Crown. Perhaps Seungcheol’s just trying to protect Ungjin, regardless if he was asked to or not.
“…Well, if that’s the deal, then good.” Soonyoung doesn’t sound fully convinced.
Just then, the door opens once more and Jihoon comes inside quietly.
“Good evening, Commander,” you greet him with a small smile.
“You’re still up?” His face is pale, but his tone is sharp. As you watch him, you can see that it looks as if he’s struggling to stand. He shakes slightly as he moves, and you get the feeling that if he were to let his concentration slip, he’d just simply collapse on the floor in front of you.
“Is there anything I can do to help?” You already know his answer, but you can’t help but to ask.
“No,” he shakes his head, “Just stay put, and stop thinking about that.”
Even though everyone else is working themselves thin, barely sleeping or eating, all you can do is sit around, useless.
“Hey… Don’t give me that look,” he says, noting your expression.
“I’m sorry!” You say quickly, only realizing after you’d spoken that you’ve only made things worse. And apologizing makes you sound all the more miserable.
Jihoon nearly chuckles, “You don’t need to worry about us. Just… go make some tea, alright? Your tea isn’t that bad, I guess.”
“Okay!” You rise to your feet, “I’ll be right back.” Your feet carry you to the kitchen, a slight smile curving along your lips.
You return to the common room some minutes later, a tray with three cups atop it, along with the hot teapot steaming into the night.
“I couldn’t find any yakgwa to go with it… but I was able to sneak a few of Youngmin’s old snacks…” You say as you set the tray atop the table.
“It’s alright,” Jihoon sighs, now sitting down at the table. “I have to get back to work as soon as I drink this anyway.”
“Are you sure you’re going to be alright?” Soonyoung frowns worriedly, “You’re a Fury now. You should be sleeping during the day and working at night.”
Jihoon doesn’t answer, just chooses to sip at his tea for a long drawn-out moment. “When we were leaving Daegaya, Youngmin said something to me. He said that if he were the King, even if he only had two hundred men, he would continue to push forward for the legacy of our Kingdom, and if he failed? Gut himself like an honorable warrior.” He huffs out a short laugh, “Now he’s stuck in bed, shot in the shoulder. He’d die for any one of us, and we all know it. Sure, I feel like shit, but that doesn’t mean I get to rest.”
The prospect of handing over a fully-functioning Hwarang back to his friend brings a gleam to his eyes. If the rest of the men are worried because their leader has been wounded by a coward's arrow… Jihoon is buoyed by the fact that Youngmin is still alive, and that he has the courage to do what other leaders will not. He finishes his tea quickly, returning to his room with only perfunctory thanks.
Yesterday, his light had stayed on late into the night. Today, you’re sure, will likely be no different.
“I’ve got an anxious feeling about what’s ahead…” Soonyoung says after Jihoon’s left, “He’s a Fury, but it doesn’t look as if he’s started to feel the bloodlust yet.”
“Bloodlust?”
“When you become a Fury… Something happens to you and, well, sometimes you really, really want to drink blood. Like, you need to,” he explains slowly, “It hurts, and not like how it hurts when Kim shoves a practice sword into your gut. You want to die, just because that’ll make the pain stop.”
Your mouth hangs open. Jihoon already looks terrible, if unbearable pain is suddenly added to his already long list of burdens… “Is there any way to do anything about it?”
“Well, if you drink some blood, then it goes away almost immediately, but… only for a while.” Soonyoung sighs out, “And the longer you go, the more painful it gets. At first you only need a little blood to feel better, but after a while you need more. And pretty soon you’ll need a whole lot before you feel better again.”
You sit there at a loss for words. Furies truly do seem like the monsters from legends.
“What about you, Soonyoung? Are you…?”
“Come on,” he closes his eyes, unable to look at you, “You can’t ask me that.” After this, he makes some manner of excuse and shoots up. He departs from the common room quietly, leaving you alone with your thoughts of the commander. Is he really okay?
Lost in thoughts, you stumble upon something—your father had done research on the Furies. Perhaps he’d left something useful behind at your home… or the one that used to be yours. It’s already too late to visit… And finding an escort will be troublesome enough…
June 25, 665 – Toehwa-hyeon, Kingdom of Silla
The following day, you leave a neatly written note behind at the inn for anyone who may be curious as to where you’re headed. It had only taken you a week, maybe less, to return to your home on the main roads… And it should take about that time to return.
It seems as if no one’s visited the home in several years, everything covered in a thick layer of dust. You hum to yourself, perusing the shelves and drawers for anything denoting your father’s research on the Furies. Hands brushing off a few books, you scan their contents only for them to reveal some barely legible scribbles that would take you forever to decipher.
‘No…’ You shake your head, this is the least you can do for the Hwarang.
After searching through several more books, you sit on the floor, sighing heavily as your eyes fall to the unkempt floor. Have you been foolish enough to think that this would work? That waltzing in, finding these secret documents and solving the Hwarang’s plague would be easy?
You frown, needing to rid these thoughts. So, you continue to flip through all the books and papers you can lay your hands on. As you skim through a large sheaf of papers a small stak falls onto the floor, dust flying upwards as it lands. It appears to be… some kind of formula?
“Huh?” You murmur, moving to place down the stack in your hands, reaching for the papers at your feet. Studying it, you realize what you’ve found. It details a mismade concoction your father had created after working with the Hwarang that could stop Furies’ bloodlust for a time. Maybe you’ve found something useful after all?
July 1st, 665 – Ungjin, Kingdom of Silla
You arrive in Ungjin just as the sun settles beyond the western horizon, and as you enter the Hwarang’s compound, you’re met with Soonyoung and Seungcheol. Their backs turned to you, you call out to them to make sure they can hear you.
“You’re back?” His brow raises inquisitively, as if he’d not known if you were coming back. “It’s dangerous out there, you know. You shouldn’t be out at night all by yourself.”
“I meant to come back earlier… The roads were… I lost track of time, is all,” You say quickly, trying to change the subject. “Anyway! I have something for you!”
You reach into your bag, procuring the medicine you were able to make from your father’s old supplies.
“What’s this?” Seungcheol questions as he looks over the powdery substance.
“It’s medicine to suppress bloodlust! I went back home and found instructions on how to make it,” you nod enthusiastically, “It should make the pain go away, at least for a little while.”
His gaze looks from the medicine to you, biting his lip in thought
before looking into your eyes, “Thank you, but no. Your gesture is certainly appreciated, but it isn’t needed.”
“Huh?” You say, unable to stop the exclamation from leaving you, “Wait, but… without it…”
“You are not one of us, so to you the bloodlust may seem odd, or wrong.” He gingerly hands the powder back to you, “However, the more one tries to suppress it, the greater the pain becomes. This medicine would be a minor reprieve… nothing more.” Before you can say anything else, he nods to you, “Excuse me. I must leave for patrol. Good night.”
You wonder what he’s to do about his bloodlust without the medicine as you watch him walk briskly into the night. To not only acknowledge but accept this insatiable craving as a part of one’s life seems… beyond you. It’s now that you remember Seulgi’s warning of the Hwarang’s Furies murdering people on the streets to test their strength… Had they been feeding off of innocent lives?
“I’ll take that,” Soonyoung says, looking down at the medicine.
“Oh!” You nod, handing it to him, “Of course.” He stuffs it into his pocket before staring at where Seungcheol had just disappeared. “I’m going on patrol with him. If he… does anything weird, I’ll stop him. So don’t worry, alright?”
“Alright,” you nod quickly, “I’m counting on you, Soonyoung… Is the Commander inside?”
“Yeah,” the Hwarang nods, “he came back earlier this evening, but he locked himself in his room. Not a peep from him since.”
“Oh…” You hum, “I’m going to check on him then.”
Soonyoung and you say your quick goodbyes, and you make your way inside of the inn towards Jihoon’s room. You hope the wave of anxiety you feel is a needless one, but you have a very bad feeling as you call out to him from behind the door of his room.
A knock, “Are you in there? I have something for you…”
Nothing. “You’re about to turn away, assuming that he’s asleep when—
Jihoon cries out in pain, sounding as if he’s struggling for air.
“Commander—I’m coming in!” You blurt out, opening the door and running inside quickly.
Jihoon lays bent over his desk at the back of the room, sweat pouring down his face as his teeth squeak horribly as he grits them. His hair that falls around his face lay a stark white, his eyes, when he opens them to look at you, are a harsh crimson.
“Are you okay?!” You say as you rush to his side.
“You idiot.” He groans, “Just shut up.”
“But—”
“This’ll pass… any time now… Don’t get all worked up over nothing! Leave it.” He wraps his arms around his shoulders and squeezes until his knuckles turn white as he glances up at you. His breath comes out in pants as he shivers violently.
It’s Jihoon’s personality to refuse any show of pain, or any emotion at all—or at least to show as little as possible. For him to be like this…The pain must be unimaginable. Is this the bloodlust that Soonyoung spoke of?
You pause, knowing that he needs blood but that’s… A frown as you think of the medicine, but again, Seungcheol had said it was a temporary solution. Should you give him your blood, then?
There isn’t any time to think of this any longer. It’s not the best plan, perhaps, but you cannot bear to see him in pain any longer. Besides, this is one way that you can help.
Jihoon shakes fiercely as you gaze upon him in horror. Saying nothing, you draw the blade at your waist.
“What the hell are you—?!” Jihoon’s eyes go wide as you slide your finger along the edge of the blade, a bead of thick blood forming over the cut.
“Please drink my blood,” you offer your hand to him, “It’ll make you feel better, right?”
“I can’t do that!” He refutes, his clothes drenched in sweat as he shakes like a leaf in the wind. If he had the strength you’re sure he’d try to knock your hand away.
“Don’t worry about me,” you insist, unable to watch him suffer any longer, “Please…”
Though he’s trying to resist, his eyes are locked on your finger, to the blood dripping to the floor. He balls his fist tightly, but he cannot resist.
“You’re an idiot,” he murmurs, reaching out for your hand, “A girl shouldn’t hurt herself for a man’s sake…” Then, he brings your fingers to his lips, you wince slightly as you feel the soft caress of his tongue on your cut. Then, the gentle pressure of his teeth and lips as he sucks, drawing a few more drops out and into his mouth.
“I’ll be fine,” you promise, “I’m a Demon. I heal quickly.”
“Doesn’t matter,” he frowns, “Demon or not, you’re still a girl.” By now, his breathing has already begun to calm itself; through his hand on your wrist, you can feel him stop shaking as well. A few moments later, his grasp on your wrist loosens and he slips his hand away.
The cut on your finger has already healed. The split in the flesh mends before your very eyes as you sit there quietly, Jihoon wincing.
“I’m sorry for being so forward…” You apologize, returning your hand to your side.
Jihoon takes a quiet breath and shakes his head, a sense of calm seems to emerge from him, “This isn’t the time to be pretending that I’m fine. I know that. If I want to make sure that Youngmin succeeds, then I don’t have a choice. I have to become a monster.”
Absently, you move your fingers to the wrist he’d taken when he drank your blood. A peculiar feeling lingers on the surface of your skin, almost as if you can still feel his warmth there.
September 10th, 665 – Ungjin, Kingdom of Silla
Even after the events of that fateful night, Jihoon had pushed himself just as hard as he had before; he still continues to visit the council members whenever he can find the time. Eventually, that work does pay off, and he’s found himself in several meetings with the King’s closest men.
Between his demanding schedule and Fury-related difficulties, you know he must be miserable, but you know that he’s determined to give Youngmin his fight. This alone seems to drive him forward.
It’s a cool evening when the doors of the compound open and Kwak Youngmin walks confidently into the Hwarang’s main hall.
“I apologize for worrying you all,” he smiles, scratching the back of his head.
“Welcome back!” Both Dohoon and Junghwan say excitedly, “We’re happy you’re back with us.”
“You flatter me,” Youngmin laughs, “But in all seriousness… Thank you. I am truly grateful that I am able to join you all again.” His eyes scan the room of men, nodding as he does, “I’m sure you’re all wondering what’s next. First, we’ll head to Hanseong. We’ve been ordered to take the city.”
Prior to this, you’d heard that Youngmin has almost been promoted to a position outside of the Hwarang, while Jihoon has basically taken over Youngmin's old role as Chief.
It’s a momentous honor to have been bestowed, although you can see that some of the men are hesitant to find cause for celebration.
“Hey, Kwak,” Junhui says from his seated position, “Who came up with the idea of us sieging Hanseong?”
“Kim Yong, why?” Youngmin looks at him quizzically, “Is that a problem?”
“This guy is rumored to be a pacifist,” Junhui pushes, “Why does he want us to go to war?”
“Besides,” Mingyu adds, “I’ve heard that the King is perfectly willing to just go along with whatever the Tang forces want. You don’t think Kim feels the same way?”
Youngmin crosses his arms before he speaks, “Wen, Kim, these are direct orders from the King’s council. It’s true that the King is following the influence of the Tang, but to be fair, he owes them a great amount of debt. However, if we can take Hanseong, then perhaps he’ll see that he won’t need to rely on their aid as much as we drive out Goguryeo. This isn’t just a matter of winning and losing; the men in charge are saying that we are a force skilled and dedicated enough to capture Hanseong.” His voice sharp, domineering, “Isn’t our duty as warriors, then, to give all we can to this fight? Don’t you agree, Junhui?”
“You’re going to gloss over it like that?” Junhui scoffs, “I’m a captain of the Hwarang, but I’m not your retainer.”
Looking upset, Youngmin moves to speak before Mingyu interjects, “Hansol… what’s your take on all of this?”
“I will do whatever is commanded of me.” He says simply.
All eyes turn to Jihoon, who’s been observing the amicable commotion before him quietly, “We should round up more men if we’re to go to war. If we do well in Hanseong, I’m sure the Crown will send us even more men. As far as Kim goes… Doesn’t matter how much he hates war, I’m sure he knows that you cannot avoid it.” His head shakes as he sighs out, “I mean, if he refuses Tang influence at this point, what’s the point of staking out Goguryeo? What’s the point in seeking out revenge?”
“I guess you have a point,” when Jihoon had put it that way, it seems like Junhui has nothing more to oppose.
“Shall we head out for the mountains near Hanseong and prepare for night raids?” Seungcheol asks.
“The Fury Corps aren’t going this time,” Jihoon states, “You’re staying here.”
“Why?” Seungcheol frowns.
“If the King does send us reinforcements, I can’t afford to let them see you.” Jihoon adamantly shakes his head, “There’s going to be significantly more men in Hanseong, you’ll get spotted. Then what’ll be the point of having a secret division?”
“But—!” Seungcheol begins to retort until Soonyoung stops him.
“The war’s only just begun… We shouldn’t be in a rush.”
You see Jihoon and Soonyoung exchange a quick look. They must have realized how Seungcheol would react and spoke of this beforehand. To you, at least, there seems to be a silent agreement.
“Alright then, everyone return to your rooms. We have some time before we leave so make sure you get your affairs in order,” Youngmin stands as he addresses the room.
And that’s that. The captains soon leave for their stations, seeking to brief their men and prepare for battle. Only Jihoon remains behind, mumbling something to himself as he sifts through the massive stacks of paper and maps before him.
“Are you sure it’ll be okay?” You ask timidly as you approach him.
“Hm?” He glances up to you, “What will be okay?”
“This war… It’s not going to just be one battle, is it?” You frown, “Wouldn’t it have been better to take the Fury Corps along?”
“Oh.” He sighs, “That.” The map in hand set down, he glances at it before looking back to you, “Remember what that Sooyoung girl, or whatever her name was, warned us about the Furies killing people?”
“Yes…”
“Well. I think it might’ve been Seungcheol.” He says shortly as your mouth flies open.
“What?!”
“The Fury Corps is our ace in the hole,” he continues, ignoring your short outburst, “but I can’t have them murdering people in the streets to satisfy their bloodlust. During the fight in Seorabeol they used silver arrowheads on the Furies, which made them essentially useless. Until we can figure out how to counteract the silver problem, I need to have Seungcheol stay here. Soonyoung will… keep an eye on him. We also may need them to collect arms for a counterattack.”
A counterattack… Does that mean Jihoon is planning for a possible loss in Hanseong?
“This next fight is going to be a big one. We probably shouldn’t take you, but… If I leave you here, Jisoo might decide to try and steal you away again. So, I’m taking you with us, but you need to watch yourself and stay out of trouble.”
With the nervous knot slowly forming in your stomach, you nod, “Okay…”
October 31st, 665 – Ungjin, Kingdom of Silla
Today, the Hwarang leave for Hanseong. And as you enter the common room, you take note of the different outfits the men have donned.
“You’re up early,” Junhui muses, beckoning you over.
“Your clothes…” Your brow furrows at him, “Are you really Junhui?! What are you wearing?”
“The Commander ordered us to dress in Tang clothing when going into battle from now on,” Hansol explains as you look over his new uniform as well.
You look at the Commander, dressed predominately in black with red trim, his new outfit giving him an elegant look. It suits him well, he looks almost as handsome as an actor. You can’t help but stand there and admire him for a moment.
“Something wrong?” Jihoon asks as he notes your prolonged gaze, “…Do you think I’m wearing it wrong?”
“Hm? Oh. No. No, definitely not.”
He laughs, “You’re strange.”
“Hm,” you shake your head and your eyes fall on Youngmin, “Why aren’t you wearing Tang clothes?”
“They’re just so… heavy.” Youngmin explains, “I can’t stand how the shoes are made either. I wouldn’t feel like a real warrior dressed like that. I suppose I’m being childish, but that’s my right.”
“You’re fine,” Jihoon smiles, “It’s not like you’ll be out on the front lines. You just have to act dignified in front of the men. Your presence alone is enough to inspire everyone.”
“You’re going to make me blush,” Youngmin sounds flustered before speaking to the men, “Well, let’s go then! To Hanseong!”
November 11th, 665 – The Road North, Kingdom of Silla/Goguryeo
And so, the Hwarang are headed north. During the journey, Youngmin splits from the main group to visit his hometown somewhere east of the border. And after several days of his absence, the men begin to worry.
“Where is he?” Junhui notes as the men stop along a rocky path, his eyes looking up the walkway and behind to where they’d come.
“It seems as if the Chief hasn’t caught up with us yet…” Junghwan trails off, a frown of worry present on his lips.
“Still? How long is he going to sit around that inn getting drunk?” Junhui says impatiently.
“Well, he probably hasn’t been home in a while,” Mingyu snorts, “Probably wants to show off how successful he’s been. Not to mention he probably wants to visit his wife and daughter. He hasn’t seen them in a long time.”
“Show off, huh?” Junhui shakes his head, “We’re marching to war. You really think this is the time for that shit?”
“He’s gone to see if the rumors of people wanting to join us were true, if they are, he needs to assess their abilities,” Jihoon interjects. “What better way to get to know new soldiers than by sharing a drink with them?”
“You have a point… but…”
Jihoon’s eyes narrow and Junhui looks unsatisfied as the commander mutters to himself, “If we had gotten enough men before we left, then Youngmin wouldn’t be out there right now.” His words cut the air like a knife.
The Hwarang had made a name for themselves in Seorabeol, but their notoriety can only carry them so far. You no longer have the luxury of interviewing potential recruits and taking the best ones; now, you need to offer incentives of alcohol and money to attract them. You know Jihoon would have rather cut off his own arm than stoop this low, but he has no choice.
From down the path, you can see Hansol rearing towards the group atop his horse, stopping shortly before you and leaping off, “Commander, I have something to report—The enemy has called reinforcements to Hanseong.”
“What? How did they know we were coming…” Jihoon frowns, “We’ve got to relay this to Youngmin as soon as possible.”
November 14th, 665 – Outside of Hanseong, Kingdom of Goguryeo
It’s some time before the Chief receives the message and returns to the main group of Hwarang. Long enough for the news of the enemy threat to spread and causation for some to panic. Nearly fifteen hundred of the men you’d left Ungjin with desert, reducing your forces to a mere two thousand. Mingyu and Junhui seem only more cautious at this, both advising retreat. But Youngmin decides that the Hwarang will form up for battle and fight until the bitter end.
Now that the Crown had given him direct orders, he said that there cannot be any hesitance.
“I’ll call in reinforcements from Ungjin,” Jihoon frowns, “One thing for sure is… We cannot afford to lose this. Make that damn clear to the reinforcements, we can’t afford to have any more deserters.”
“Of course,” Hansol nods, turning and jogging off to join the rest of the men.
After giving his directions to the last of his men, Jihoon looks to you.
“Go back to Ungjin with someone. This place will turn into a battlefield soon enough, and you should be somewhere safe.” The tone in his voice shows no room for you to question his call.
“I’ll stay here…” You eventually conclude, “I can’t run away to somewhere safe while everyone else is off fighting. I’ll stay here to watch over the Chief until you get back.”
Jihoon grimaces, “How? You can’t swing a sword to save your life, and I don’t think you’ve got the guts to kill a man. You’re not a soldier.” You’d expected him to say as much, but you’re not going to back down easily.
“It’s true that I’m not very good with a sword, but… I can still be his shield. Any small wounds I sustain will heal quickly enough.”
“Why are you doing this? No one’s asked you to,” Jihoon stares at you, seeing that your resolve isn’t shaken.
“I know I may be out of line when I say this, but I know that we can’t lose him. Not now.” You insist, “I’m sick and tired of always being protected, I want to help!” You’ve been with them long enough now to see how much Youngmin means to Jihoon and the rest of the Hwarang. If you go back to Ungjin and Youngmin dies… Just thinking of it makes a cold chill crawl up your spine.
Jihoon chews his lip thoughtfully for a moment, and his hard, piercing gaze never seems to drift away from your face. Refusing to break his concentration for a long moment, he sighs.
“If you’re really that serious about this, then I’ve got an order for you,” he crosses his arms, “As a member of the Hwarang.”
“What…?” Your eyebrows shoot up.
“You’re going to guard Youngmin personally. Stay by his side and give him anything he asks for.” After awaiting your baffled response he continues, “…And?”
“Yes! Sir!” Without thinking, you straighten up and nod vigorously.
“I will protect him even if it means my li—” Before you can finish, Kum cuts you off with a sharp expression.
“There’s one condition. You can’t die.” That isn’t the sort of thing you’d expect him to say. ‘Be careful’, maybe, but not ‘You can’t die’. “And don’t do anything stupid, like being his shield, or whatever bullshit you were saying. I am not ordering you to die.” He gives you one last pointed look before turning to gaze bitterly at the walls of Hanseong in the distance.
“If our enemy this time turns out to be a bunch of amateurs who’re just hoping to kiss some ass with their king, we might have a chance,” he muses. “If it’s not… That’ll be a different story. I’ll try and get back as fast as I can, but if something happens before I do, I’m counting on you and Hansol to make sure Youngmin gets away clean.” Jihoon then looks back to you, “And none of this shield shit. You escape with him. Die, and I’ll make sure you regret it. Understood?”
You feel a cold sweat on your back as his words sink their way into your skin. You’d seen others fight for their lives in battle many times, but this is the first that you’d actually be joining. Will you really be able to protect Youngmin? Will it even be possible to evade your enemies, let Youngmin escape and survive?
Perhaps Jihoon notices your sudden fear as he lets out a short, bitter laugh, “Hey. Take out your sword.”
“Huh?” You ask, stunned for a moment by the strangeness of his request before complying and unsheathing your blade from its scabbard.
Jihoon then moves to swiftly remove his from his hip, taking his steel and tapping it against your own. The clear tone they make draws goosebumps from your arms.
“The third rule of O Gye is to trust your friends and treat them sincerely…”
“O- Oh…” You furrow your brow. The O Gye is the set of principles that the Hwarang have followed since their inception, why is he…
“You’re a Hwarang now… Well,” he chuckles, “I suppose you’d be a Wonhwa, wouldn’t you? Regardless, this is proof.”
“Proof of what?” You ask as he smiles gently at you.
“That I’ll come back, that you can trust that I will return and that I can trust that you’ll survive too.” He lowers his blade, slipping it back into its sheath, “So you believe me, and you wait. And don’t die.” His words are confident, and listening to him, you feel as if they somehow have bolstered your spirit tenfold.
As someone who prides himself on being a Hwarang, you know these words, the O Gye, mean a great deal to him. You have to follow through, you can’t break this newly formed promise with him.
“I understand,” you nod, “I will protect the Chief and I will survive.”
November 27th, 665 – Outside of Hanseong, Kingdom of Goguryeo
Slowly, the Hwarang find themselves driven into a stalemate. Youngmin had done his best to try and tell the men they were to slowly siege the city, to draw them out and have them surrender on their own terms to protect the area around Hanseong from becoming bloodied with battle. Unfortunately, one of the new recruits had cried out that he was a Hwarang and slain a Goguryeo soldier.
That was the spark that set the pile ablaze. The bulk of the opponent’s forces turned out to be men who’d come from the hardened battle lines of Goguyeo’s northern fronts, meaning they’d been in near constant battle with the Tang for years. It quickly becomes stalemated as the days progress. Youngmin has no choice now but to retreat until forces from Ungjin arrive.
“We have to go!” You cry out as Youngmin emerges from his tent, “If we don’t, you’ll be killed if Goguryeo breaks through our lines!”
“My men are still fighting out there!” He states firmly, “I cannot run away and leave them, I will not leave them behind!”
“Even if we lose this battle now, we have reinforcements coming later, and as long as you’re safe, there’s still hope for the Hwarang—” You insist as you walk with him, “We can regroup and fight back later!” You reach for his hand, pulling him as hard as you can toward the path away from the city.
Youngmin looks across the battlefield at his men, hopelessly entrenched in lines that will never break or push through. The smell of death from both allied and enemy corpses stings your noses. Looking at him, you can see tears well up in the corners of his eyes. He lowers his gaze, murmuring something as Hansol returns from the front lines.
Hansol’s steely expression is colored by streaks of mud and grit from the battlefield, “Are you prepared to leave?” He notes the bags around your and Youngmin’s backs, “Good. Let’s go.”
“Let’s go quickly…” You say, urging Youngmin forward.
“Right…” He sighs out and begins to walk once more.
Running into the nearby forest, you escape into it under the cover of the quickly encroaching night.
“We’ll be in Silla territory soo,” you say as you look at Youngmin, “Hang in there.”
“Right…” He sighs once more.
Perhaps it’s because you’ve never seen him lose before, but this is the first time you’ve seen Youngmin so… drained.
“I’m sorry for being so, um, forward…” He eventually says, “I let so many of my men die…”
“You can’t beat yourself up over that now.” You say, trying to rid him of the thought, “Like the Commander said, we just don’t have what it takes to beat them right now.” Your words don’t seem to reach him as he continues to stare numbly beyond you.
“Perhaps if someone else were Chief… they might still be alive…”
“Youngmin…” You let his name slip from your lips, forgetting the last time you’d referred to him by his name, not his family’s.
“Who’s there?” Before you’re able to console him any more, you hear a voice coming from the brush that sounds unfamiliar to you. Peeking out, you catch the sight of a Goguryeo soldier and freeze immediately. “I know you heard me.”
Hansol, who’d been staring intently out to where the soldier stands, murmurs, “I’ll buy you some time. Take the Chief and escape.”
Nodding quickly, you and Youngmin tiptoe away through the brush, trying your best not to make any noise. Just as soon as you’re able to get Youngmin moving at a decent pace, a shadow leaps out before you, barring your way forward.
“I had a feeling you might be here…” The figure of Hwan Minhyun murmurs before you. Instinctively, you step backwards, unease writhing in your stomach as you wonder if Hong Jisoo is nearby.
“Wasn’t he with the Goguryeo army in Seorabeol?” Youngmin asks as you slowly nod your head. “Then we can no longer escape… I need to take responsibility for the men I’ve lost. Will you go on without me?”
“What…?” You look at him puzzled, “I can’t do that!”
Minhyun had remained silent for the short exchange, but now he speaks up, “Yes, I do work with their forces. But I have been given no orders regarding the Hwarang.” His eyes shift to you, “My only business here is with her.”
“Me?” Your brow furrows as he crosses his arms.
“Jisoo is… vexed by you and that commander of yours. He disregards the kingdom’s wishes and does as he pleases, not as he is ordered. Yeon Gaesomun is troubled, to say the least. And for now, we don’t wish to cut our ties with Goguryeo quite yet.” The light in his eyes promises violence, and his body tightens as his hand rests on the hilt of his sword, ready to make good on whatever promise he’d made. With a swift flourish, he relinquishes his blade from its sheath and narrows his eyes at you, “And for that, you must die here.”
With shaky hands, you reach for your blade, already knowing you’re no match for the Demon.
“He’s after me,” you look frantically to Youngmin, “Only me. You need to escape!”
“But—!” Youngmin says, panic riddling his expression.
“I’ll be fine,” you try to reassure him with a small smile. “The Hwarang need you now more than ever, you can’t abandon them.”
His mouth hangs slack for a moment, speechless. Then he shuts his jaw and draws his sword,“No matter the reason, an honorable warrior cannot run away and leave a woman to fight alone.” Despite your protest, he gets into a fighting stance, slowly closing the distance between Minhyun and himself. His face calm and serene, you don’t see any hesitation in his eyes, “My recklessness has seen many of my men to their death, I don’t want it to lead another away.”
You’d seen this same expression on Eunseok’s face just before he’d died on Jisoo’s blade. Youngmin’s mind has already been made.
“I am Kwak Youngmin, Chief of the Hwarang!” With his sword held high, he charges Minhyun.
The intense force of their clash sends a shockwave rippling through the air. The clangor of metal rings out and the two part.
“You challenge me knowing that you cannot win, for the sake of someone who cannot defend themselves…” Minhyun almost lets a smile creep onto the corner of his lips, “Your actions are worthy of respect.”
Youngmin swings at his last word, Minhyun sliding away as if he’s made of water. His hand outstretches and grabs the metal of Youngmin’s blade, pushing the hilt of it into the Chief’s stomach.
As Youngmin groans out, falling towards the ground, Minhyun flips him around so that he slams directly onto his back.
“I’ve knocked most of the air out of him. He won’t be able to move for quite some time,” Minhyun glances at Youngmin writhing on the ground and then looks at you. “You’re next. Do not blame me for what I have to do.”
Raising his blade, he charges at you, kicking you in the stomach as you have no time to dodge his attack. Feeling like your whole body is about to shatter, you endure the pain just a bit more and struggle to your feet.
“You just saw the difference in our power… Are you sure you still want to put up a fight?” He asks, looking at the blade locked tightly in your grip. Noticing that you’re not budging, he nods, “Very well. I’ll humor you, then.”
Giving a huff, you readjust your grip on your sword and rush at Minhyun. However, he evades your attack with no effort. You murmur to yourself how you need to change your movements, and begin to swing rapidly at him. Yet, once again, his elegant technique moves him out of the path of your blade. No matter how many times you charge and slash at him, there’s no way you’ll even scathe him. It’s not until his leg moves and kicks your arm with the force of a falling boulder that you move again.
The pain is so immediately overwhelming, you drop your blade to the forest floor, crying out in pain as you fall to the ground. Your knees skim across the dirt, digging into the earth and scraping your skin. Your brain screams at you to move, to fight, but the roar of your surely broken arm drowns it out almost entirely.
“This fight is done,” Minhyun says quietly, “Don’t worry, I’ll make it quick.”
Your eyes close as you hear him approach, and a myriad of thoughts runs through you. An apology to Jihoon, first and foremost, he’d told you to survive and now you’re doing everything but. A tear carves its way down the side of your cheek as you wait for the blow to hit you.
“Giving up so soon?” A voice says calmly, “The Hwarang don’t stop fighting until they’re dead. The only thing on your mind right now should be how you’re going to out-think this idiot.”
That voice…
Your head raises and eyes shoot open just in time to see Jihoon leap through the air and land a strike with his sword on Minhyun’s arm.
“You!” Minhyun says as he recoils.
“I thought I’d only be fighting soldiers out here… Guess I’ll be taking care of a Demon, too,” Jihoon huffs, his white hair glimmering in the moonlight.
“Have you learned nothing since your fight with Jisoo?” Minhyun huffs, “A Fury is a mere echo of a true Demon. No matter how powerful you may think yourself, you cannot defeat us.”
Jihoon lets out a short laugh, “Never know until you try…”
“Only bloodshed will satisfy you… Very well.” Minhyun raises his sword, “I’ll be your opponent.” Giving him a short nod, Minhyun once again falls easily into a ready stance.
Jihoon’s blade flickers through the air, a little more than a glint of silver in the moonlight. Minhyun blocks it with his own sword, dodging away from the attack. With his brow furrowed, Jihoon braces himself for the pushback that Minhyun does, using the momentum against the commander to shove him back.
Jihoon’s face twists as his feet slide back into the dirt. Be it his Fury-born strength or his adrenaline- he surges forward after a split second, charging toward Minhyun. His blade leaps forward, burying itself into the Demon’s chest. Blood flies from the gash, splashing across Jihoon’s face.
A startled noise falls from his mouth and he jerks back, pulling his sword from the wound. No sooner had it been out did the wound begin to close.
“Right…” Jihoon shakes his head, “You heal quickly, don’t you? It’s straight through the heart or not at all, huh?” His sword shines with the sheen of fresh blood, “I’ve got you figured out, though. I know how you move. You’re tough, but you’re not impossible.”
Drenched in blood, Jihoon looks more monster than human, his eyes wide and hungry. There’s something terrifying and inhuman about his expression as he whips his sword through the air.
Minhyun leaps back, Jihoon’s sword almost catching his hand as he does so. Jabs and parries, feints and counter-feints… The battle flows between them like a living thing; it changes, moving too fast for any mortal eye to track. Neither of the two men show any sign of tiring as they dodge and attack in ways that would be unthinkable for any human.
Even in the maelstrom of death and violence, you can see Jihoon smiling.
The smell of blood hangs heavy in the air, and his grin speaks of a Fury’s lust for death.
“I never imagined a Fury could match me in battle…” Minhyun murmurs as the two part, “You are unexpected. This power, though, what will you do with it?”
“What?” Jihoon says, confused. “Protect those I care for. What other reason could there be for wanting power?”
“Those you care for… Would you count Silla among that number?”
“No… This is bigger than the Kingdom. They can’t compare.”
Minhyun closes his eyes and stays silent for a moment. What’s gotten into him? Why had he stopped fighting?
This would be a perfect time to strike, right?
Just as you think to pick up your blade and move toward him, you feel a hand on your shoulder, “Stay back.” Hansol, who you hadn’t heard return, stops you despite your protest. “That Demon no longer thirsts for blood. This battle is over.”
“Demons are not meant to involve themselves in the world of humans,” Minhyun states as he opens his eyes to stare at Jihoon, who’d lowered his sword. “Now that you’ve become a Fury, you belong in the shadows as well.”
“Yeah.” Jihoon says shortly, “I’m not interested in my name being written in the annals.”
“If you understand that, I shall leave the rest to you.” Minhyun shakes his head, “Jisoo is proud, even for a Demon. If you have indeed humiliated him, I doubt he will ever forgive you. It is unlikely that you will defeat him… However, if there is something you wish to protect, then please… use the powers you’ve been granted to do so.”
In his own stoic way, Jihoon looks as confused as you feel. Can Minhyun be trusted?
“There is one more thing I must tell you…” Minhyun warns, “The power of the Furies is not magic, or a gift from the gods. Great strength, lightning speed, and mortal wounds that close themselves… This power was already within you, but had you stayed human you would have spent it in decades, not minutes. You are only borrowing these things.”
Your fingernails dig into your palms at the realization. By ‘borrowing’, does he mean that when Jihoon taps into the speed and strength of a Fury, he’s picking away at his future—his life?
“So you’re saying that every time I tap into it, my life gets a little shorter?” Jihoon asks and Minhyun nods. The commander lets out a short laugh, “Makes sense. Seemed too good to be true. Guess it’s only natural that I’d have to trade something for this kind of power.”
“Then I will be on my way…”
“Hold on. I want to ask you something.” Jihoon stops him before he can run off, “You sure you want to let us get away? If you don’t kill me now, I’m pretty sure I’ll end up killing your friend.”
“If you defeat him, then that was all he amounted to.” Minhyun states plainly, “We Demons are not sentimental.” Then, with a last polite nod, he disappears into the night,
With his enemy gone, Jihoon slumps and takes a long, deep breath.
“Are you alright?” Your voice comes out quietly as you look at him.
“Fine. Where’s Youngmin?”
“Over there,” Hansol gestures as Jihoon runs off toward the Chief.
“Are you okay?” Jihoon asks as Youngmin looks at him wide-eyed, “Are you hurt?”
“Jihoon… you…” With Jihoon standing before him, his white hair and red eyes bright in the moonlight, he looks as if he’s seen a ghost. A Fury.
“Oh…” Jihoon begins but looks away, almost guiltily.
Staring at him a moment before speaking again, Youngmin notes in a soft, stunned voice, “Are you… a Fury?”
“Uh, yeah.” Jihoon admits, “I didn’t have a choice, alright? It was for the Hwarang,”
For a moment, he sounds composed, but as you look closer you can see that he’s desperately avoiding Youngmin’s gaze. Not being able to bear looking him in the eye.
Everyone is silent for a moment before the first raindrop hits you, taking you by surprise.
“…It’s starting to rain…” Jihoon sighs, “We need to get back to Ungjin and reorganize. We need to discuss our next move.”
“Right,” you nod, reaching out to tug at Youngmin’s sleeve, “Come on, we need to hurry.” Youngmin simply stands there, almost as if he’s forgotten how to walk. “Is something wrong?” It begins to rain harder yet he doesn’t budge.
Rain runs down his cheeks to his chin, or are they tears?
“What…” He murmurs, “What have I been doing…? Today I sent men—men who trusted me—into battle. They died. And I’ve made you,” his gaze flickers to Jihoon, “a man I’ve known for years, into a Fury. A monster…”
“Youngmin…” Jihoon’s brow furrows at him, “What is this? No one blames you. We were able to take the city because Wong Kunhang’s forces showed up— No matter how good of a tactician you are, we couldn’t have taken Hanseong alone.” He shakes his head, “I made bad calls too, and it got Eunseok and Chan killed. We cannot change the past. What we can do is turn this around and keep fighting with our all. Besides, I don’t regret becoming a Fury.”
He laughs shortly, “Hell, I’m stronger and faster than I ever was, and I can use that to help you out. Nothing could make me happier.”
Rain pours onto their faces. Surely it’s in your imagination, but for a moment, it almost looks as if Jihoon is crying. Youngmin stares at him for a long moment, then finally draws himself together.
“I’m sorry,” Youngmin shakes his head with a small smile, “I was being foolish. Forget what I said.” Something in his voice tells you that even he doesn’t quite believe that.
December 2nd, 665 – Ungjin, Kingdom of Silla
The Hwarang had returned to Ungjin. Rejoining with your friends and the rest of the men who had stayed behind feels bittersweet. Your mind often turns to Youngmin, who expectedly remains disconsolate after his first defeat on the battlefield.
Even after the attempts to rouse him, he spends most of his time in his quarters, moping. The man who had come in only hours after the Hwarang had given up their position in Hanseong, Wong Kunhang, would be arriving in Ungjin any day now. His victory over the Goguryeo forces had been a swift undertaking, something of a thorn in the Chief’s side.
You think of this future meeting as someone brushes past you just as you’re about to begin lighting the lanterns outside of the headquarters.
“Oh– Hansol? Are you off to work?”
The man gives you a curt nod, “When you have a moment, could you make some tea and bring it to Jihoon?” Without waiting for a response, he gives you a small smile and scurries off.
Hansol had never been a talkative man in your presence, or anyone’s, really. Yet he’d lately taken on a taciturn demeanor. Is he still upset by the events from Hanseong…? Or maybe…
The day after the large posse had returned to Ungjin, you awoke the next morning to Junhui and Junhui loitering around the main hall, their gear and belongings tucked away into haphazardly made bags.
‘We’ve made up our minds’ you recall Junhui saying, a dimness in his voice that you would have never attributed to him prior to that meeting. ‘Our path isn’t Youngmin’s. I don’t think we can follow him anymore.’
It was a blurry goodbye after that, and you suspect that you’re not fully over their departure, either. Of course, you’ve only known them for a few years, not the lifetime it seems that they’ve had with the other men.
Along with their departure, Seungkwan had been moved to Sabi, a southern town known for its medicinal practices. Finding his room empty left you feeling bereft as well.
One by one, the group that you’d come to find as a second family is slowly falling apart.
As you light the last lantern you sigh to yourself and decide to go make tea, as requested by Hansol.
The tray remains sturdy in your grasp, even if you can hear the ceramic clinking against itself as you approach the Commander’s door, “Good evening, I’ve brought you tea…” As you speak, you open the door, stopping almost immediately as the gazes of Jihoon, Soonyoung and Seungcheol fall onto you.
Their conversation must’ve been important judging by the hardset lines carved into their expressions.
“I’m sorry!” You say quickly, “I hadn’t realized that you were in the middle of a meeting.” Feet trailing backwards, you’re almost out of the room when Jihoon speaks up.
“You can stay.”
His words halt your movement and Seungcheol piques your interest as he looks back to Jihoon, glaring, “You cannot possibly be serious about this! Why would you halt the augmentation of the Fury Corps?!”
“I am serious,” Jihoon’s attention turns from you and once back to his comrade. “I will not have any more men being turned into Furies. Make do with what you have.”
“I apologize but I cannot support your decision. The Hwarang’s power is at an all time low, even if Silla is standing against Goguryeo and winning– I think that expanding the Fury Corps to keep this fight pushing forward is our only option.” Seungcheol’s voice is a strained composure as he grits his teeth and continues, “Soonyoung told me that Junhui and Mingyu have left. That is a serious blow to us, Jihoon.”
“You saw what happened in Hanseong– Even if we recruit more, they’ll run off on us. Wasting our effort on pitiful men like that is foolish. Would it not be better to focus on those who have abided by our code? Who understands what it means to be a Hwarang?”
Soonyoung looks to the floor, his shoe gently tapping the boards underneath. He’s been silent since you arrived, but you can clearly see that he isn’t agreeing with Seungcheol fully.
“You make several good points, Seungcheol.” Jihoon frowns, his arms crossing, “If we want increased strength, the best way to attain that is through the Fury Corps.”
“Then why–!” Seungcheol begins.
“There’s a problem with the Furies. A big one. We only just found out about it and our source is,” Jihoon glances at you briefly, “reliable.” With your eyes widening at what’s to come, you can only look at Soonyoung's and Seungcheol’s faces as he divulges what Minhyun had told you.
“The power of a Fury comes from your… potential. The more you use it, the shorter your life becomes.”
Seungcheol’s gaze, usually cool and calculating, goes awry as he processes. From his standing position he falls to his knees, hitting the wood with a thud. A surge of realization of his powerlessness registers within him.
“Yeah,” Jihoon’s voice falls into a somber lull, “We shouldn’t be using the Furies unless we really have to.”
After several long moments of silence, Seungcheol raises his head to speak, “Then that is yet another reason why the research must continue.” He pushes himself from the floor, brushing off his knees and looking at Jihoon, “It is a flaw, yes, and a serious one. But with more research… We may find a way to circumvent, or even counteract, it entirely. As a Fury, you should understand.”
“This is not a request, Seungcheol. This is an order.” Jihoon’s arms uncross and seems ready to impose his status over the other, “As your Commander, I am telling you that research on Furies will stop. There will be no more.”
Seungcheol says nothing, he just glares at Jihoon until seconds once again turn into minutes.
“Let’s go, Seungcheol…” Soonyoung tries to urge him. When Seungcheol turns to him, you can see lines in his face, perhaps proof that his life is already steadily leaving him.
You step aside to let them leave, and as they open the door, the figure of Youngmin is seen passing by in the hall.
“Oh, Chief,” Soonyoung stops, “Were you coming in?”
“No…Uh… No, I’m just out for a walk,” Youngmin chuckles, “Just passing by. Don’t mind me.” A few more pleasantries were exchanged and then the sound of three sets of footsteps trail away down the hall.
You’re reminded of Jihoon’s presence when he sighs behind you, you spin on your heels and note that he’s looking forlornly out of the small window in his room.
“I’m sure the tea’s cold by now,” you look at the tray in your hands, “Let me get you a fresh pot.”
“No,” he stops you, gaze broken from the window and now linked to you, “I’m thirsty, cold tea’s perfect.” His hand gingerly reaches out to the tray as you approach and swiftly grabs one of the cups atop it. Jihoon brings his lips to the porcelain and he sighs, a distant look twinkles in his eyes.
“He’s right, you know.” Jihoon says as he sets his empty cup down. “Seungcheol’s right. Mingyu and Junhui leaving… It hurt us badly.” His voice shakes almost imperceptibly, his lips curling into a bitter smile, “I had a feeling this might happen someday. It’s our fault for falling short of what they wanted. But damn, we sure have lost a lot of people. Things are undeniably different now.”
You can’t even begin to imagine what’s going through his head. He’s been working from dusk to dawn, has he even had time to grieve anyone properly? Even with the strength that his newfound Fury powers had given him, you can see the horrible toll it’s taken on his body.
“Jihoon…” you say softly, “you have to stop.”
“What?” His voice is much rougher than you though, giving you momentary pause.
“I’m only telling you to do what you told Seungcheol to do a few moments ago. Don’t use your Fury abilities unless it’s an emergency.”
“Why should I listen to you?” His expression questioning.
“Well… You turned into a Fury to save me from Jisoo, you wouldn’t have had to unl–”
“This again?” He sighs, “Look, I said I chose to do it. I wasn’t forced.”
A pang reverberates around your ribcage, “When you say things like that, it only makes it worse. If you’re in pain, just say so. Don’t you wish you’d never become a Fury?”
For a moment, the room is quiet, and then Jihoon begins to laugh. “I just can’t win with you, can I? You really are from the countryside.” Another chortle before he continues, “I can’t remember if I’ve told you this before– Anyway, I am the adopted son of a sixth rank noble, I hardly knew my birth parents. I was raised with the noble’s son and daughter, Hoseok and Joohyun. You kind of sound like Joohyun. Seungkwan’s sister Cheng sounds the same way too. When you go off, it’s like I’m being scolded by my family. Makes me feel like I have to listen to you.”
You’d never heard him speak of his childhood like this before. It’s surreal in a way.
“If what Minhyun told us is true, then as long as I don’t use my Fury powers, I’ll be alright, right?” His lightheartedness flees slightly as he huffs out a puff of air, “If it gets bad I’ll let you know. Stop worrying about me.”
He’ll likely keep most of his pain to himself– that’s just who he is, but if he really means what he’d said…
“I understand,” you say with a nod, another thought beginning to bubble to the surface. “So… What will happen to the Hwarang now?”
“Well, we need to get Youngmin to snap out of it, but after that, we’re heading north.”
“North? You mean back to…”
“Yeah, back to Hanseong.” Jihoon cedes with a sigh, “The Tang forces may have saved our asses up there but it doesn’t mean that they don’t want every man they can take fighting alongside them. Some of Namekawa’s men are stationed there too, hoping to round up some men and head to Bakjak. We’ll try to pincer Pyongyang and take those–” Suddenly, Jihoon’s body contorts and hunches, his hand grasping at his now heaving chest. His eyes wide in pain, sweat begins to pour from his head and he mutters out through clenched teeth, “Fuck, fuck–!”
“Jihoon?” Your mouth lays agape as the hair on his head turns an alabaster white. It’s bloodlust, you’re sure of it. “You need blood…” The sentence isn’t a question, and you react almost instinctively, recalling what you’d done for him before.
With unsteady hands you reach for the blade at your hip, laying its cool edge on the palm of your hand before his hand grasps around your wrist. Trying to pull away, you're met with a fervent shaking of his head.
“I’ll do it,” he murmurs, straightening himself to the best of his ability. Jihoon moves around you, standing behind you as he loosens your collar as the night air hits your neck followed by his fingertips. Seconds later you feel the kiss of a cold blade against your neck before feeling it slide against your skin. You try your best not to wince but the air makes the cut sting.
The cold is eventually replaced by the warmth of his face as his lips fall onto the cut. Heat raids your body, never before had you been this close to a man before. Nerves make your body twist to try and look at him until Jihoon’s hands grab your shoulders.
“Don’t look,” his voice low, husky. And you nod, not particularly sure that you want to see him in his Fury state. Those few words– a last, strained defense of his wounded pride– tear at your heart, and a knot gets stuck in your throat. For his sake you try and calm your nerves, although you can still feel your heart racing.
“I’m sorry… I can’t afford to lose it right now.” You’re unsure if he’s saying that to calm himself or calm you.
“Of course…” Your voice leaves you quietly, “You don’t need to hold back, I want to help in whatever way I can.”
In the days you watched both Chan and Eunseok die, you’d find yourself inundated with near tortuous regret. There had been nothing in your power you could do for them. Ever since those fateful days it has been your resolve to help the Hwarang after they’d aided and sheltered you for so long.
Jihoon’s grip tightens on your shoulder, and a wave of emotions washes over you– guilt, disappointment, anger, regret– and you soon realize that they are not your own. They’re his.
Eventually he lets go and steps away from you.
“I’m sorry for doing that…” His hair back to its darkened state, he can’t seem to meet your gaze.
“It’s nothing,” you insist, adjusting the collar of your outfit that he’d shifted aside, “See? The cut’s already closed up.” Seeing his still-stolid demeanor, you continue, “I’ll be staying here for a while longer so please, if you need anything, just let me know.”
“So I can just drink your blood whenever?”
You nod, “You can.”
Jihoon cracks an eye open and gives you a small chuckle as he shakes his head, “Shouldn’t say things like that. Someone’s gonna use you up and throw you away.”
You know he’s joking, but there’s a part of you that feels if it were he that used you up then it wouldn’t be that bad.
𝔥𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔤 - 𝔩𝔧𝔥 || 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔳𝔦
pairing: lee jihoon x female!reader genre: historical au, fluff, angst, smut (later routes), supernatural members: choi seungcheol, wen junhui, kwon soonyoung, jeon wonwoo, lee seokmin, kim mingyu, boo seungkwan, lee chan, hong jisoo, xu minghao, choi hansol warnings: crass humor and language, blood, violence, mentions of suicide, alcohol, minor character death, major character death, 660's sexism, crossdressing, medical procedures, political upset, historical inaccuracies for the sake of plot progression word count: 20k
taglist: @reiofsuns2001, @lovrehani, @hipsdofangirl
𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔳 || 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱 𝔳𝔦𝔦
𝔄𝔭𝔯𝔦𝔩 7𝔱𝔥, 666 - ℌ𝔞𝔫𝔰𝔢𝔬𝔫𝔤, 𝔎𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔡𝔬𝔪 𝔬𝔣 𝔖𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔞 Sometime after the incident between Jihoon and you, you begin to move northward, back to Hanseong. Nearly a month after its liberation from the Goguryeo forces, the Hwarang settled on a private estate just outside of the city’s walls. Youngmin had been reluctant to return to the battlefields, but after several conversations with Jihoon, he’d become convinced otherwise.
Until the preparations to siege Pyongyang were in place, you would be set up in Hanseong to train. Hansol had gone to a town some ways south to train in Tang weaponry with one of Wong Kunhang’s assistants, Hao Chujun. Seungcheol and Soonyoung had left with the Fury Corps along the naval route to Bakjak as they were not permitted to travel to Hanseong.
“Do you know where the Gukseon Kwak is?” A voice calls out to you, and you turn to see Kim Dohoon standing there, his eyes wide.
“I think he’s reading in his room,” you have to think of when you last saw him. Weight shifting from foot to foot you try not to look concerned, “Is something the matter?”
“It’s nothing in particular, but…” There’s a peculiar expression on his face you can’t quite grasp. “I can’t shake this worrying feeling like he’s lost the will for us to fight again since the last time we were here…”
“Hmm…” You purse your lips, “I don’t think that’s the case. I can’t say that he’s completely lost his will to fight.”
Dohoon is hesitant to respond as he stays quiet, eventually speaking again, “You’re probably right, huh? I mean, Commander Lee is still giving his all for him. I’m sure he’ll return to his old self soon enough.” With that, Dohoon quickly scurries off, racing back into the depths of the manor.
As you watch him, you can’t help but let his words sting you a little. Youngmin certainly had lost some of that ambitious fire he’d always had in his eyes as of late. If he wasn’t holed up reading in his room, he’d spend time in solitude out in the garden. Yet, you hold on hope that his confidence had deflated only a little after the battle in Hanseong.
Prompted by the meeting with Dohoon, you decide to pay the Chief a visit a few hours later.
“I’ve brought you some tea,” You say quietly as you slide open the door. Youngmin sits behind his desk, nose buried in a bound novel, and he greets you with a smile. “What are you reading?”
“Oh, this is Jemangmaega,” he lowers the book, closing it but saving his place with a scrap piece of parchment. “A collection of poems but more critical than that if one reads further into the text. I practically know them by heart now, but with each time I reread them I find I learn something new.”
“When I was younger I wanted to be just like Kim Yushin– he fought for others, more so than just himself,” his grin lasts for a moment before fading, “But I suppose dreaming about being a great commander doesn’t just make you one… I wish I realized that a bit sooner.”
“What are you talking about?” You tilt your head, “You’ve only just begun.”
“... How’s Jihoon?” He asks, not seeming to have heard your prior statement.
“I think he’s in his room writing something.” You state, “Probably writing orders for Hansol, he’s off with Hao Chujun in Kyeju, you know.”
“Ah…” Youngmin sighs, “I keep giving Jihoon so much to do.”
“I don’t think he’s pushing himself too hard,” you say quickly, “And nothing makes him happier than being able to help you. That’s just the kind of guy he is.”
Youngmin chuckles at that, “You’ve turned out to be quite a page to him, haven’t you? I think you know him quite well by now.”
“You think so?” You feel your cheeks warm at his certainty. “That’s right… I was supposed to be his page, wasn’t I?”
“To be truthful, I never thought that you’d be with us for this long…” Before you knew it, the two of you had begun to reminisce about your time in Seorabeol. Back then, you never could have guessed where fate would take you. There have been constant challenges, but you thought that’d you’d eventually return to your lives in the capital.
“I know things will work out. The Commander will get us through this.”
Youngmin responds with a melancholy laugh, “Don’t you think you’re asking quite a bit of him?”
“... What do you mean?”
Before Youngmin has any time to answer, the door opens with a snap, Wonwoo and Jihoon briskly walking inside, their faces tense and drawn.
“We have to go. Now.” Jihoon says sharply, “The place’s surrounded.”
“There’s two, maybe three hundred of them out there. We came in through the back so they wouldn’t see us,” Wonwoo says solemnly.
“If it were only twenty or thirty then we could take them… But we don’t have time to call Hansol and his men. Guess we’ll have to come up with something here. You two take Youngmin and go on ahead,” Jihoon says quickly.
“What?!” You speak up, “Not even you can take on that many people. And it’s still daytime…”
“A majority of the soldiers out there are archers,” Wonwoo says as both you and he move toward the door in an effort to block it should Jihoon try to get out.
Youngmin, having been in quiet contemplation since their arrival, speaks out, “You needn't do that, Jihoon. I’ll go and have them take me to their headquarters.”
“What the hell?!” Jihoon shouts out incredulously, “You might as well just paint a target on your chest!”
“I won’t introduce myself as Kwak Youngmin of the Hwarang, of course,” Youngmin sighs as he rises to his feet, “I’ll tell them that we’re soldiers here to just secure the location. At any rate, it should buy you enough time to get away.”
While you and Wonwoo lay shocked into silence, Jihoon doesn’t relent, “Listen to yourself! You really think they’ll let you waltz in and fuck with them like that?! You know how they work! There’s no way in hell that those bastards don’t hate our guts! They won’t believe that shit about us being soldiers for a second!”
“Well, even if I do get captured, I have the status of a Lord. They can’t just kill me.”
“You have got to be kidding me.” Jihoon’s face is a near vibrant red at the moment, “You think they’ll give a shit about a title you have from the Kingdom they’re against?! You go out there, you’re signing your death warrant. You really think I’ll just let you do that?!”
No matter what the Commander yells at him, Youngmin’s expression doesn’t change.
“I’ve made my decision. Nothing you say can convince me otherwise.”
Jihoons fists begin to shake by his sides. In all your time with the Hwarang, you’ve never seen either of them act like this before.
“No! No! What the hell are the Hwarang going to do without their Chief?!” Jihoon shouts, “You’re coming with me even if I have to knock you out and drag you along! You have a responsibility to the Hwarang! You don’t get to die and run away from that!” He’s screaming at Youngmin, his white knuckled fists now gripping the front of the other man’s robes and his eyes red with held-back tears.
Yet his fury and pleas break across Youngmin’s impassable calm like wind against a mountain.
“This is a direct order!” Youngmin says sternly as Jihoon’s hands drop from his robes, “You will go to Kyeju to meet with the rest of our men. The two of you will accompany him as well.” Jihoon stumbles back a step or two at the force of Youngmin’s voice.
“You’re going to tell me what to do…? What the hell is this?!” Jihoon asks near incredulously.
“Aren’t your Chief’s orders absolute?” Youngmin asks with a tilt of his head, “You’ve ordered men to kill themselves, or to become Furies from disobeying that rule. Are you somehow an exception? Is that the sort of warrior you want to be?”
Jihoon says nothing.
As long as he’d been commander, Jihoon strove to lead by example. He lived by the O Gye and demanded that others do likewise to groom the Hwarang into true warriors. There’s no doubt Youngmin had counted on that fact. He meant to do it to keep Jihoon alive.
Youngmin looks to you and Wonwoo, stepping a few paces in your direction, “I want you to leave with Jihoon. If you take too long, they’ll attack and my surrender will mean nothing.” He gives you two a small shove to get you moving, Wonwoo turns to look at Jihoon.
“Commander… Let’s go.”
He only stands, chewing his lip, until Youngmin lays his hands on his friend’s shoulders, giving him a warm smile.
“Hey, Jihoon… Let it go. Let me go.” Youngmin says softly, “You’ve run yourself ragged trying to earn me the status and fame that I wanted. You even turned yourself into a Fury… It kills me to see you do all of these things for me… I’m not worth it.”
Jihoon doesn’t meet his friend’s gaze, he instead blinks rapidly, trying to hold back tears, and stares desperately at the floor. Then he swallows the lump in his throat, his voice tight and strained when he speaks, “I– If I do this, then what have I been fighting for all these years? I became a warrior, served our Kingdom… I won numerous battles and killed men… All because I thought you’d be there at the end with all of us…”
“I’m sorry,” Youngmin’s voice reflects the softness of the other’s, “I brought you here, I did this to you. Thinking back on it, it was all sort of a dream. We weren’t real warriors yet but we strapped on our swords and went to work.” His voice is warm, but that seems to make it even more difficult for Jihoon to let go.
The room is still before the commander speaks, “Jeon… Send a message to our remaining men. We need to secure an escape route.” His gaze then falls to you, “Stay here. Once we’re ready, I’ll come get you.”
“Okay,” you nod quickly. And with that, Wonwoo and Jihoon leave, and Youngmin and you are alone once more.
“Take this with you,” Youngmin says as he begins to reach for something in his robes. After a moment, he hands you a small cloth bag, it clinks as it rests in your palm.
“What is it?”
“Money. To help you escape. I wasn’t able to do anything for you. This is a token of my appreciation, for all you’ve done for us. Please, take it.” His warmth still lingers on the fabric of the bag, you feel a lump rise in your throat. “You still have time. I’ll tell Jihoon. Once you get away, go somewhere safe and look for Doctor Namekawa… Just forget you had anything to do with us. Marry someone you love and live a peaceful life. Find happiness.”
While you appreciate his kind gesture you cannot find it within yourself to follow his guidance, “No, I won’t run. I want to go with Jihoon. I’m… I’m his page…” Your teeth catch your lip, afraid that if you say any more you may cry. Instead, you look up to Youngmin and do your best to smile.
His eyes are warm as he looks to you, “Our Commander’s been blessed with some great friends. I’ll be counting on you, then. Take care of him for me.”
Eventually, Jihoon and Wonwoo return. They gather you and the rest of the men in an outer courtyard on the premises, including Junghwan and Dohoon.
“What?!” Junghwan shouts, “We’re going to leave Chief behind? Is that true Commander?!”
“Chief’s orders,” Jihoon says sternly, “You’re all going to escape this place and I’ll be right behind you.”
“If he just surrenders, then his cover will be blown immediately!” Junghwan insists, “At least here, I could remain by his si–”
“I said, ‘Chief’s orders’! Or do you have shit in your ears?!” Jihoon snaps, “Don’t you dare put Youngmin’s efforts in vain with your stupid suggestions!”
Junghwan looks as if he wants to respond, but instead he looks down as he tightens his fists and shakes.
Just then, Dohoon says, “I’m going to stay. I understand they’re the Chief’s orders. However, as a warrior of the Hwarang, I cannot abandon the Chief.”
“Kim Dohoon!” Wonwoo raises his voice, only to be interrupted.
“Dohoon you bastard…” Jihoon frowns, angrily tapping the hilt of his sword, “You really want this steel in your gut right now?”
“No! It’s not like that,” Dohoon’s eyes burn with intense vigor as he glares back at Jihoon. “I understand you, more than anyone else, want to remain here. But the Chief entrusted the Hwarang to you, which is why you can’t… So that’s why I want to protect him in your stead, Commander!”
Jihoon curls his lip, staring at him for a long moment before unsheathing his blade at his hip.
“Commander!” As the exclamation leaves Wonwoo’s mouth, Jihoon points the tip of the sword toward Dohoon’s throat.
“You said you’ll protect the Chief, right?”
Sweat trickles down Dohoon’s reddened cheeks, “...Yes, I will.”
“Then you’d better keep your goddamn word. No matter what, your eyes don’t leave Kwak, got it?”
Dohoon’s eyes grow wide, trembling for a moment but soon after brim with a fiery determination, “Yes, sir! I, Kim Dohoon, promise to protect the Chief's life, no matter the cost!”
It seems as if he’s convinced Jihoon, as the latter returns his blade to its sheath. “Let’s go.” His words are curt as he nods quickly before leaving the residence behind.
In a short while, Youngmin and Dohoon will hand their terms of surrender to the Goguryeo army. You find yourself looking back over your shoulder many times as you run. Soon, Youngmin will give himself to his enemies. Perhaps, you think time and time again, if you turn around now, you can rescue him,
Wonwoo seems to feel the same way, but Jihoon never once turns back.
You run and run through the forest to Kyeju. It doesn’t matter how quickly you get there– it’s not soon enough to bring back an army to save Youngmin.
“Are you alright?” Wonwoo asks as he falls in step by your side, “We can rest if you’re tired.”
“I’m alright,” you shake your head, “I can keep going.”
Jihoon, with his back to you, says nothing, but you can feel each pained step he takes away from his friend.
The sun begins to dip towards the western horizon and night starts to fall when your party is stopped by a group of Goguryeo soldiers.
“You there! Stop!” One of them commands, his hand already hovering over the hilt of his sword, “Where are you headed?”
Jihoon only frowns and makes his way to walk past the soldier.
“He said to stop!” Another soldier yells out, “Goddamn it, are you more of those Silla guys?”
“Hold,” the first man pauses, “I’ve seen him before. You’re that bastard from the Hwarang, aren’t you?”
“You mean those guys that offed Yoon?” The soldiers around them begin to scramble for their weapons.
Unfortunately, they aren’t fast enough for Jihoon. His hair snaps white and he shoots forward, toward the soldiers, sword in hand. His strikes are so fast and elegant that the eye barely even has time to perceive what happened before the two men fall dead.
“Wrong day to fuck with me, boys.”
A volley of soldiers rush forward, as well as a few arrows loosened in his direction. One of the arrows pierces his shoulder and Jihoon cries out, swiftly pulling it from the wound. It immediately begins to close as he smirks at them, “That’s how it feels getting shot, huh? Not as bad as I thought.” His gaze sharpens on those left before him, “This is nothing! This doesn’t even come close to what Youngmin’s going through!”
Jihoon launches himself at the nearest of the soldiers, his sword already in motion and his face twisted by grief and anger. Even without Fury powers, Jihoon and Wonwoo could have made easy work of this small troop of men… But rage and frustration boiling over since you’d left Youngmin had erupted in a torrent of violence.
“You can’t use your powers–!” You call out to Jihoon, trying to stop his relentless assault.
“Shut up!” He snarls at you, “Stay out of this!”
He knows what he’s doing, but he’s far past caring. Jihoon leaps from tree to tree, his sword flashing like lightning. Every time it moves, a life ends. Rage, anguish and an unrestrained thirst for blood radiates from him like heat from a blaze from a fire. Blood soaks his face and hands. Still, he cuts and cuts, never satisfied.
You see Wonwoo and Junghwan sweating as they stand silently, watching Jihoon fight as a Fury. They’re mesmerized and you can hardly blame them. Every swing of his sword spills a man to the dirt. He looks like a monster. At last, the only man left alive is Jihoon himself.
Silence falls over the forest once more, save for the birds that have restarted their chatter,
“Wonwoo… Junghwan… Go see if there’s any more of them.” Desperate to distance themselves from the bloodshed, the two depart quickly after Jihoon’s orders. “You. Go with them.”
Normally you would do as he’d asked and followed after them but now…
“What?” Jihoon turns to you, noticing your hesitation, “I gave you an order.” His words cut like a knife but you don’t move.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t do that.”
“I am your commanding officer. I am giving you an order.” He sounds angry, as he oft does, but just behind that there's a deep, miserable sadness. If he doesn’t stay angry, you feel, he’d probably be crying.
“I promise I won’t get in your way, but please, just let me stay here with you.” There’s nothing you can do for him, but you cannot bear to leave him alone.
He turns his back to you– to everything, his face hidden. You have no idea what expression he’s wearing.
You search yourself for something to say, something to ease him, but you find nothing within yourself to better him. And, after a few moments, he speaks.
“What the hell did I do… all of this for?”
How can this be the fate dealt by the gods for two men so honest and determined? It just doesn’t seem fair…
“Was it just so I could give Youngmin to those bastards? I busted my ass to give my friend to the enemy?” His voice trembles with every word, the weight of it all still resting heavily on him, “I was going to make him important. Help him carry himself to his family’s standards. I wanted to see him fight in the kind of battles they wrote about. Like a true warrior… I wanted to see just how far the owner of a school in the sticks could go.”
You’re not even sure if he knows that you’re still here. If he does, it seems as if he no longer cares.
“I thought we were shooting for the same dream. Long as it was for him, I felt like I could do anything. So what the hell am I doing here, alive, while he’s… he’s god knows where?! After all that self-righteous preaching, what did I do?! I turned around and left him to the wolves! He… I’m just like the king. Soon as things get dangerous, I turn tail and leave better men to deal with the mess! God damn it! Why am I alive?!”
It tears you apart to hear him lament his inner machinations aloud. You find yourself stepping forward, wrapping your arms around his back, pressing your face against his uniform.
“Youngmin said… I mean, after you’d left, I told him that you’d figure it out,” you say softly, “and he said that I was asking too much of you.” Tears run hot down your cheeks, “It’s not your fault, you can’t blame yourself… He didn’t want you to die. That’s why you’re still alive. Just… Please don’t blame yourself.”
Jihoon listens, saying nothing. Or perhaps he didn’t even hear you. Why do words feel so powerless when you need them the most? What good are they if you cannot comfort someone at their lowest?
“He did this to save me… but what the hell am I supposed to do without Kwak Youngmin of the Hwarang? The dream of helping him is what brought me here in the first place.” Jihoon’s shoulders shake, “Now that dream has left me… I don’t have anything left. I’m nothing.” He gives a short bark of humorless laughter, “Seriously Kwak… Stop giving me all the shitty jobs.” His voice chokes on a sob and falls silent.
𝔄𝔭𝔯𝔦𝔩 10𝔱𝔥, 666 - ℌ𝔞𝔫𝔰𝔢𝔬𝔫𝔤, 𝔎𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔡𝔬𝔪 𝔬𝔣 𝔖𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔞 The days that followed were somber, and eventually your group returned to Ungjin before regrouping with Hansol in Kyeju. When you arrived in the city, Junghwan mentioned he was going to visit a friend of his, and left. However, you think Junghwan’s just trying to be considerate and give Jihoon some space.
Arriving back at the compound, you’re shocked to see none other than Boo Seungkwan waiting for you.
“Evening,” he says as you walk inside, “Who would’ve thought you guys would ever come to visit me?”
“Nevermind that you should be in Sabi– why are you up this late? Just look at you,” Jihoon frowns, crossing his arms.
“I’m a bit tired of sleeping alone, you know?” Seungkwan muses, “At this rate, I’ll never get a chance to shine again… Seems to me it’s time to join you guys.”
“The hell you won’t! What makes you think you can hold a sword with that body?” Jihoons words cut through the air.
“Come on, cut me some slack.” Seungkwan snorts, “I’ve been feeling great lately. So…” As he begins his next statement, he turns to cough into his fist. The fit doesn’t relent until he crouches on the floor, coughing painfully with strained breaths.
“Are you alright, Seungkwan?” You ask, rubbing his back as he tries to catch his breath. Under your palm, you can feel the bones of his back. At first glance, he may look to be improving but he’s lost a lot of weight and it’s almost painful to look at.
“See?” Jihoon turns to look down at him, “What’d I tell you? Why don’t you admit you’re sick for once, and take it easy?”
Seungkwan bites his lips out of frustration, grimacing at the thought of admitting his weakness, he sighs deeply and rises to his feet, “So, how’s Kwak doing? Too busy to visit me again?”
You flinch at the mention of Youngmin, which causes your body to jolt unexpectedly. Jihoon, however, is unfazed by the question.
“He’s a little preoccupied at the moment.”
“How’s his shoulder doing? Isn’t it tough for him to be up and about?”
“That was a while ago. He’s fine.” Jihoon says, “He may not be able to wield his sword but, well, with his promotion, it’s not like he’s charging from the front lines anyway.”
“Spare me,” Seungkwan waves his hand, “You’re bragging about his promotion like it’s you out there and not him. But… that’s good to hear. Youngmin’s okay then.” The Hwarang seems to have eased down. It looks as if Youngmin’s well-being is the only thing keeping Seungkwan invested in his own health.
“Look,” Jihoon states, “I promise I’ll bring him next time. Just sit tight, okay?”
“Sure, I’ll wait. But I’m not holding my breath. You’ve always been a bad liar, Jihoon.”
“Who the hell are you calling a liar? I’ve never lied to you about Youngmin.” The tone of their conversation sounds like their usual banter, but you can understand why Junghwan may have been inclined to step out. You begin to gather that there’s much for them to reminisce on, so you take the chance to sneak outside.
Cool nighttime air whispers against your cheeks as you gaze to the stars hanging above. It seems like tonight would be the final farewell between Jihoon and Seungkwan, you need to let them have this moment to themselves. Being an outside observer to the intimacy of their conversation tells you this, at least.
In the midst of your contemplation, you think you see Junghwan speaking to someone in the distance. You know he said he’d been planning to meet a friend in Ungjin but you don’t recognize the figure.
“Are you sure about that? You’re the Commander’s acquaintance, aren’t you?” You hear Junghwan speak to him as you slowly approach. “You’re already here so why don’t you stop by?”
“I think I’ll pass on that.” The person says coolly.
“Why?” Junghwan questions further, “This may be the last time we step foot in Ungjin.”
“Wasn’t Youngmin just arrested by Goguryeo soldiers in Hanseong?” The person murmurs, “I don’t know what I’d say to Jihoon in a time like this, knowing what everyone’s been through and all.”
Junghwan’s head suddenly hangs, as the words from the conversation penetrate and resound around his head, “You don’t need to mince words. Just, you know, tell them how you feel… talk about what you’ve been up to, or what you’ve seen. Isn’t that good enough?”
“Junghwan…” For a brief moment, the stranger looks unsettled by the suggestion. However, he takes a deep breath and continues, “But I was never one of the Hwarang. I just happened to be around when the newer group was established.”
“Then why did you paint them as Furies?” Junghwan frowns, “If they didn’t matter to you anymore, then you wouldn’t go through the trouble of drawing that? It’s not like it’d make you any money.”
“Well…” The other stops.
“So, are you absolutely sure there’s nothing you’d want to say to the Commander, Colonel or Soonyoung? You’re positive?” Junghwan lists off the names of the Hwarang, only making you question the stranger yourself. Is he a friend of theirs? Perhaps Junghwan had met with him to bring him to your side?
Whatever the case, the stranger’s countenance gives the impression that he’s reluctant to be involved at all.
As you’re thinking of this person, a voice speaks up behind you, “You should go and talk to Seungkwan while you can.”
Jihoon. You hadn’t heard the door open, much less his footsteps approach.
“S- Sure,” you say quickly, spinning on your heels and walking into the house from the darkness.
After making smalltalk for a while, Jihoon rejoins you and begins to say his farewell to him, “We’ll see you later, Boo. Don’t trouble Namekawa too much.”
“I never do,” Seungkwan shakes his head, “The man just worries too much.”
“Forever the smartass,” Jihoon rolls his eyes jokingly, “Whatever the case, we’ll be on our way soon.”
“Leaving already?” Seungkwan asks, eyebrows raised.
“Goodnight, Seungkwan. Please take care of yourself.” You say with a small smile and begin to turn to leave.
“Hey,” Seungkwan calls out to you, “Can I have a word?” He beckons you over with a gentle gesture so you walk to him.
“Is something the matter?”
“I know he won’t admit it, but Jihoon looks like shit. Are things at the front going bad?”
If you speak too carelessly you can give away information– information that can easily hurt Seungkwan, so you fall silent.
“Here’s the thing: I don’t like that man at all, and quite frankly, I can’t give a rat’s ass what happens to him. But… I want you to be by his side. If he goes down, then the Hwarang go down with him.”
“I understand…” you murmur out before Jihoon butts in.
“Are we done here? Time to get going.”
He doesn’t ask a thing about your conversation as he begins walking briskly ahead of you on the darkened streets. Watching him make that promise of bringing Youngmin the next time he’d see Seungkwan… it seems as though that burden of promise, and the potential of it being left unfulfilled, weighs heavily on him.
Suddenly, he stops in his tracks.
“You should go on ahead and go home.”
“Huh?” You pause yourself, “What do you mean? What do you plan on doing?”
“I’m going to speak to the Goguryeo forces in Hanseong,” he turns to face you, “And I’m going to personally ask them to release Youngmin.”
“You’re going now?!” You sputter, “I thought you said they can’t be reasoned with?”
“If we can’t get results, then I can’t say we’ve done everything we could.”
“It’s not safe for you to go there! They could capture you at any moment!” Frantic energy runs in your voice, “If they take you like they did Youngmin…”
Yesterday this idea would have been preposterous to Jihoon, what happened to make him change his mind?
“So you’re telling me to my face that this decision is a mistake?”
“No… No I’m not saying that.”
“Then what is it?” He snaps, “If you have something to say, just say it.”
“Stay strong.” You raise your voice, nearly shocking yourself, “You of all people know what needs to be done.”
“I decide on what I do. It’s not your place to say.”
“I understand, but what will you do if you’re arrested by the Goguryeo army?”
“So what if I am?” He frowns, crossing his arms, “Sitting here and talking about ‘what-ifs’ isn’t any better than taking action.
“So you’re going to let Chan and Eunseok’s sacrifices go in vain?!”
“What do you know?!” He explodes, and you have to stop yourself from taking a step back.
“E- Even I can understand a little!” You refuse to let your convictions amount to nothing. With a heavy heart you continue, “I was there when they gave their lives for… I saw it with my own eyes. Both of them loved the Hwarang. And they trusted their commander! If either of them saw what I am now, it would crush them.”
“Crush them, huh?” At last, he seems to let go of a bit of the tension in his shoulders. They relax slightly as he looks off into the distance. “Do you believe it to be the survivor’s duty to carry on the will of the deceased?”
“I think so.”At least that’s what it feels as if you’re doing now. The reason you can’t back down, even if Jihoon feels compelled to yell at you, is because you know Eunseok and Chan would have done the same.
“Damn, guess this means all I have to look forward to in life is shouldering more burdens until I die.”
“Jihoon…”
He shakes his head and gives you a short, melancholic smile, “Sorry for yelling at you. You were right. You did know. There’s no point in me being irrational when our situation is already grim, huh? It wouldn;t look too great if there’s nowhere for the Chief to go when he gets out eventually.”
With that last statement, you see that he’s finally regained his composure, and you respond in kind by calming down, “I know I told you to stay strong, but please, don’t push yourself too hard. I noticed you’ve been running around during both day and night time.”
“Where do you have all this time to show concern for every person you meet?” Jihoon sighs out, “Once we leave here, if you so much as collapse on the way out, I’m leaving your ass behind. Brace yourself.”
“Okay!”
You’re happy to have gotten through to him, even if it was just a courteous gesture. He begins walking again and you run right behind him, doing your best to keep up with the swiftness of his pace.
At the entrance of the city, you regroup with Junghwan and Wonwoo, the two greeting you quickly.
“Commander, I need to speak with you urgently,” Junghwan says, looking frigid as he approaches Jihoon. “Please let me petition for the clemency of both the Chief and Dohoon! Surely the Goguryeo forces understand what killing Kwak would detail. If we work hard, I’m sure we can find people to cooperate with us. So please–”
Jihoon stares at Junghwan, who’s bowed over in a sign of respect, and seems to take his suggestion into consideration.
“...You beat me to it. I was going to say the same thing.”
“Commander! Then–”
“Jeon, I have a favor to ask you. Take her and head to Kyeju first.”
“What?!” You gasp out.
“We’re going to continue our fight for Youngmin’s freedom. Your presence here is only a burden for us right now.” Earlier he’d given you the same instruction, albeit with a far more aggressive tone. But this time you can tell thoughtful consideration went into it.
You’re worried, of course. But there isn’t anything more you can argue.
“This is an order from your commander. We’ll meet up again soon so get out of here and stay sharp.”
It felt strange to part from them, as if some piece of yourself is now missing– but you don’t have much time to harp on it as you meet up with other troops in Kyeju.
You’re worried about what’s to become of Youngmin, but perhaps because the situation seems grim, no one has brought it up.
𝔐𝔞𝔶 1𝔰𝔱, 666 – 𝔒𝔲𝔱𝔰𝔦𝔡𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔎𝔶𝔢𝔧𝔲, 𝔎𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔡𝔬𝔪 𝔬𝔣 𝔖𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔞 Jihoon soon rejoined Wonwoo and you as you resided in Kyeju, only after he’d settled his affairs for Youngmin’s freedom in Ungjin first. Hansol had taken the main body of Hwarang soldiers to Koksan and then onto Bakjak to keep an eye on the Fury Corps. You have just left the small town with Wong Kunhang’s men to hop onto the route to follow after him.
After a while, you manage to meet up with some allied soldiers, but many of them look at you with a strange mixture of curiosity and fear. It’s unpleasant, to say the least.
“Those are the Hwarang, right? The murderers?”
“Yeah, noble dogs that kill men for no reason– even their comrades! Best not to look at them for too long. You never know what might set them off.”
It isn’t difficult to hear the gossip that floats through the ranks.
“They sound like a bunch of old wives spinning those stories!” Wonwoo scoffs, turning to look at Jihoon, “Want me to keep them quiet for you?”
“No.” Jihoon shakes his head, sounding more irritated than usual, “They want to talk, let them talk.”
“Are you alright?” You ask as you walk along, “You don’t look too well.”
“I’m fine.” He says but he clearly seems otherwise. His skin is a pale color, almost blue, and he looks exhausted. Marching during the day is hardly a pleasant walk for a Fury.
Youngmin is clearly at the forefront of his mind. And although you hate to admit it, he has a good reason to be on edge.
“Excuse me, could you let me pass? Ah– apologies, oops…” Someone moves towards you from the back of the column of men, pushing his way through the rest of the marching soldiers.
“Hello,” a man, no older than Jihoon, steps forward and offers a bow, “Are you Lee Jihoon? I’ve heard a great deal about you and the Hwarang.”
“Who the hell are you?” Jihoon asks, puzzled.
“Pardon my rudeness, I’m still not fully functional with the language– my name is Wong Kunhang, one of the commanders of the Tang forces. I’m sure I’ll be talking with the Hwarang a great deal in the future. It’s nice to meet you.”
It’s strange, for the man who claimed to command the infantry of men, he looks more like the son of a wealthy merchant than a soldier.
Jihoon snorts under his breath and turns away, leaving Kunhang to look on for a moment longer.
“Do you have business with Jihoon?” Wonwoo asks.
“Ah, yes. I was hoping to hear stories about the Seorabeol attacks from the Commander of the Hwarang himself.”
“Sure you wouldn’t rather hear some ridiculous rumor from a drunk soldier?” Jihoon bites, “Seems like everybody here loves to gossip.”
“I apologize for them. We’ve been far from home for a while and they’ve only grown more undisciplined as time progressed.” Kunhang shakes his head to continue his original plan, “At any rate, I came here to give you an overview of how our forces are being deployed. We have five thousand soldiers in the advance guard, main body and rear guard. As the highest ranking officer–”
“Wong Kunhang… The Wong Kunhang who took back Hanseong a few months back?”
“That’s me,” he smiles.
“And you lost it.”
“Yes, well… I suppose I did. It was a misstep of my forces and I take full responsibility for it. But I assure you that we will be taking it back, and keeping it this time.”
Jihoon looks as if he’s just swallowed something rotten. He’d only just lost his Chief and it seems as if this newcomer’s trying to force himself into Youngmin’s place. No one, no matter the skill, can replace his friend. Still, Kunhang seems to have been expecting to be rebuffed, and continues, showing no sign of being put off by Jihoon's behavior.
“The advance guard is made up mostly of men from the Silla army. The rear guard, however, is composed of men from Tang. I’m thinking of promoting you to Deputy Commander in order to lead the advance guard. What do you say?”
“Why?”
“I have experience leading my men. And am I wrong to think that the advance guard would take more kindly to a fellow countryman than an outsider?” Kunhang speaks plainly, “Besides, there isn’t anyone on our side or theirs who hasn’t heard the name Lee Jihoon. I can’t think of anyone better suited.” His copious praise does nothing to thaw Jihoon, they just stare at each other for a few awkward moments.
It’s painfully clear that the two of them don’t see eye to eye, and it cannot be a worse first impression.
“Well,” Kunhang claps his hands together, “I suppose I better be on my way. We’ll talk later, and go over some more in-depth plans.” Their conversation ends as one-sided as it had begun, and the Tang general disappears into the swarm of marching soldiers.
Later that night, your group camps a short distance away from the rest of the force. Jihoon, sitting by the fire’s edge, beckons you and Wonwoo over, “We need to talk.” The main bulk of the Hwarang forces are with Hansol heading even more northward, meaning that the only people in the camp were you, Wonwoo, Jihoon and three dozen more Hwarang. “Remember what Kunhang told us earlier?”
“About taking command of the advance guard?” Wonwoo inquires, “What of it?”
“I’ve been thinking about what I want you guys to do. You can’t be in the advance guard, so I’ll have to send you off to fight with the main body or the rear guard.”
“So this means you’re going to take his offer?” Wonwoo shifts as he speaks.
“Yes. You were in Seorabeol. You’d be a good commander for men who’ve never seen a real battle.”
“But…” A frown carves itself on his lips. Jihoon’s reasoning makes sense, but it doesn’t mean he has to like it. It feels as if Wonwoo had grown attached to the idea of fighting in the same unit as Jihoon. Perhaps the commander is insensitive for either ignoring this sentiment, or not acknowledging it at all.
Wonwoo sighs, resigning himself into a period of deep thought, looking up to Jihoon’s gaze, “Understood. Whatever you order me to do, I’ll do it. But first, I want you to tell me something. This doesn’t mean you’re planning to disband the Hwarang, does it? If I fight in this, it’ll be as a member of the Hwarang.”
It seems the two of you feel the same way. Jihoon’s hope may be flickering but yours isn’t.
“Fine. Whatever.” Jihoon seems disengaged.
“I should also point out that I think commanding soldiers is a little more than she can handle.” Wonwoo adds, glancing over to you, “She doesn’t belong on the front line. She’s a page, not a soldier.” He rises to his feet, dusting the dirt from his knees, “Anyways, I’ll go and tell the others what you’ve decided.”
Jihoon and you are left alone with the crackling fire as Wonwoo jogs back to the main encampment. He sighs and his shoulders drop. Suddenly he looks very, very tired.
“Why did you try to order us away?” The question leaves you before you can think it through.
He doesn’t answer, only tilts his head to look at the flecks of starlight dappling through the trees above. As the melancholy silence speaks, you nearly regret asking the question before he laments, “If I knew Youngmin was coming back, then I could go out there ready to give my life to win. Just like Chan said– Youngmin and I were the Hwarang. With him gone, there’s no way in hell I can carry all this on my own.”
When he normally speaks to you, he is oft cruel and rude, you’ve never heard him sound so defeated before.
“Junhui was right, wasn’t he? Remember what he said when we decided to attack Hanseong? He said there was no way in hell Kim Yong would fund us without some sort of hidden agenda.” Jihoon huffs, “He was right. So was Mingyu… You know who was the first to petition for a settlement between Goguryeo and our forces? Kim Yong.”
“...What?”
“He wanted to showcase our defeat as costly and an expenditure of life and resources. Make it abysmally clear that the war is funded on blood, and to keep his own money in his coiffers.” He laughs despondently and kicks at a rock by his foot, “Damn it, how couldn’t I see that coming? If I thought about it, that would’ve never slipped past me. I was desperate for Youngmin to be off fighting big important battles, winning all sorts of glory… But I let it all blind me, we were played and Youngmin lost his spirit…”
The Hwarang had put their lives on the line for the Kingdom. How could the King just let them be pawned around?
“Noble or commoner– we all busted our asses to get where we are. Aren’t warriors meant to be the masters of the battlefield? What the hell have we been fighting for this entire time? Is anything I believed in still true? We believed that we were fighting for something, so no matter the shit we had to crawl through, we did it. Turns out it was just a trench that just circles itself. What are we supposed to do now? What the hell am I supposed to believe in?”
Every word of his punctures you with pain. But the kingdom had betrayed them, their trust. The war had changed and it feels as if the Hwarang had been tossed aside. All that the Hwarang had done is fade away, what could Jihoon do to fix it?
“You lost what you believed in,” you say quietly, “They think as long as you’re there to lead, they’ll be fine and refuse to show fear in front of you. They want you to see the kind of men they are, which means they’ll fight to the death if you tell them to.” If anything, you want to soothe his wounded soul a bit. “But if someone were to ask why I’m here… I’d say it’s because I believe in you.”
Perhaps that’s the wrong thing to say, all you’ve done is give him something more to worry about.
Jihoon looks at you, but for once the light in his eyes is soft, “You’re right. If you lose sight of something the only person who can find it again is you. Besides, we’ve got a big fight coming up. Guess I should be thinking about how we’re going to win that, not whining about my problems.” With a small smile, he turns back to the stars.
You fall silent again, cicadas fluttering and chirping through the night being the only cacophony of sounds around you.
“Are you really going to stick around?” He asks. You know he wants to go alone, but you can’t go with Wonwoo, you both know that.
“Yes, I am.” Perhaps you don’t know how you can help him just yet, but you can hardly leave him alone.
“Fine. Just stay out of my way.”
“I know.” You sit there in the silence of night, you’re just about to return to your tent when he groans out in pain. Almost immediately you know what’s happening, your fears confirmed when his hair begins to turn white at the roots. Quickly you scramble to your feet, urging him to his and leading him to the shadow of a large tree where the nearby soldiers won’t be able to see him.
“Damn it,” he curses through clenched teeth, “Why now?!”
With shaking hands you reach for your collar, and as he grasps your intent he grimaces. Jihoon takes a hold of your shoulders and roughly pulls you toward him, seconds later you feel a dull sting on the back of your neck and then the hot trickle of blood.
His warm breath comes in pants across your bare skin, but after a time his ragged gasps for deliverance begin to steady. And slowly, his grip loosens. Then, without a word, he pulls away from you.
“How long do you plan to keep letting me do this?” He mutters, as you turn to him, worry in his eyes.
“Forever,” you say simply, “As long as you need me, I’ll be here.”
“You’re a stupid woman,” he sighs, “And I’m a man who’s lost sight of what makes him human. How can you just let me cut you open like that and drink your blood? What the hell are you thinking?”
“It’s alright, Jihoon. I really don’t mind.”
There’s nothing for him to say to that.
The next day, along the route to Hanseong, the news breaks.
“So, Goguryeo forces are pulling out of Hanseong?” Wong Kunhang frowns, “That’s… unexpected.” He and Jihoon stop to talk over the news and their next move.
“Unexpected? They’re cocky bastards that think we won’t try to retake the city.” Jihoon scoffs, “It’s the most opportune moment to take it back.”
“I’m not against going into battle,” Kunhang states, “We are leading an army, after all. But the main body and the rear guard are still on their way. All I’m asking is that you wait until they catch up with us. Attempting to lay siege to the city with the men we have is folly beyond folly. We should–”
Jihoon sighs, “This isn’t a theoretical scenario from one of your war manuals.”
“Sun Tzu isn’t just a war manual. The highest form of generalship is balking enemy plans; the next best in preventing enemy junctions,” Kunhang argues, standing his ground, “After that, it’s attacking armies in the field, and the worst of all is besieging walled cities. Therefore, we should only lay siege as a last resort. Attacking head-on is foolish. If you’re determined to be foolish, the best you can do is make sure your army is in the best condition possible and–”
“Though we have heard of stupid haste in war, cleverness has never been seen associated with long delays! No kingdom benefits from prolonged warfare!” Jihoon offers his rebuttal, “Remember that one? He’s saying that it might get messy, but it’s better to end your battles quickly. Taking your sweet time just comes back to bite you in the ass.”
“Lee… Don’t do that.” Wong Kunhang’s brow furrows, “I’m not asking you to wait long. They should be here in just a few days.”
“And we’re just meant to sit here twiddling our thumbs until the Goguryeo army shows up?” Jihoon frowns, “If they catch us unaware then we’re screwed, no two ways about it.” He must sense that he caught a nerve in the other as he pushes ahead, “You want to miss this opportunity, fine. I’ll just take the advance guard and capture Hanseong myself.”
“That’s suicide!” Kunhang shouts as Jihoon snorts derisively. He clearly has no intention of taking his opinion.
“I guess we’ll see. I’ll take Hanseong by tomorrow.” His lips pull back from his teeth in a feral grin, and he looks off in the distance toward Hanseong.
He isn’t being belligerent. He’s being reckless. With Jihoon like this, can you really win?
𝔐𝔞𝔶 13𝔱𝔥 666 - ℌ𝔞𝔫𝔰𝔢𝔬𝔫𝔤, 𝔎𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔡𝔬𝔪 𝔬𝔣 𝔊𝔬𝔤𝔲𝔯𝔶𝔢𝔬 Hanseong is in turmoil. Your forces neared three thousand, while Hanseong’s barely had a thousand. And although the Silla forces easily outnumber your opponents, the guards are able to use their fortifications to great effect, fighting you to a standstill. Arrows fly, swords clash, and men scream in pain.
“We can’t keep this up,” Jihoon sighs out with crossed arms, “This is as good a time as any to attack the enemy lines.”
“Attack?” You look toward him in disbelief, as a nearby soldier cries out, “Their fortifications–”
“Can fall.” Jihoon says flatly, “An arrow or two won’t kill you.” The men around him are stunned into silence, never having imagined they would receive orders like this. Their commander, however, just stares back coldly. “What the hell did you come here to do? You’re here to fight a war. If you’re prepared to fight, you should be prepared to die. Am I wrong? So, when I give the word, you’re going to charge that line!”
The men before him pale, and many tremble. Eventually, one of them snaps, “I can’t do it! I don’t want to die here.”
No sooner had he turned to run, does Jihoon’s sword flash in the daylight, striking the soldier dead. The men watching swallow thickly. For a few moments they stay utterly silent. Commotion breaks out shortly afterward.
“What is this?!”
“Is he crazy?!”
Jihoon lets his cold eyes slide slowly across their ranks, and slowly the mumbling ceases, “Anyone else want to run? If you’re too scared to fight, go ahead. Be my guest. But anyone who runs will die by my hand. So either I kill you… Or you take your chance out there. Up to you.” With one final scowl, he turns back to the battlefield, taking off across it.
He runs through the throng of bodies and hail of arrows, falling upon the men defending the main gate like a vengeful god. His sword drips with fresh blood, you stay in the shadows of the treeline waiting for him to return.
Wonwoo runs to the commander, grime and blood smeared across his face, “With another push we should be able to take the gate!”
“Great!” Jihoon shouts, “I believe in you Jeon!”
As Jihoon effortlessly slices through the enemy, the mood among his men begins to change. A ripple goes through them, a surge of newfound energy to fight. You can’t hear him from the distance, but he shouts something over his shoulder and his soldiers fight with intense vigor.
And soon after the sun passes its zenith, the city gates open, the news of it spreading like wildfire.
The Silla forces sweep into the city soon after, finding relative ease when liberating the streets. Jihoon glances at you with a grin as Wonwoo runs up to him.
“Commander! The men we sent to the town head’s home ran into trouble!”
“What?” Jihoon almost sounds confused, “We haven’t seen any real resistance so far.”
Wonwoo shakes his head, “I’m unaware of the details. Should I go see…?”
“No. I’ll go.” Jihoon stops him, “I’m leaving you in charge here.”
“What would you like me to do?” You ask.
“Come with me,” he says simply, “Don’t want you wandering around. Might get hit by a stray arrow or something.
And thus it was decided. You quickly follow after Jihoon, and even upon approaching the building, you can tell something is wrong. Inside, your men are dead on the floor, their bodies laid out like the spokes of a wheel, and at its hub… Hong Jisoo.
“What are you doing here?” Jihoon asks, more nonchalant than you’d have thought. “Decided you’d take a vacation? You do know there’s a war out there, right? Or maybe you’re just hiding out here, hoping you won’t get hurt.”
“We were acting under orders from the King.” Hwan Minhyun, whom you hadn’t seen upon your arrival, speaks out, “We are here to deliver a secret message. We did not expect to be drawn into battle and we certainly did not expect to encounter you here.”
“Huh,” Jihoon scoffs, “Gaesomun yells jamp and you leap. You sure are dedicated.”
“Well, I didn’t think I’d see you again so soon, Lee…” Jisoo leers with a snide grin.
“And I didn’t think you were so anxious to get your ass beat again. Don’t worry though, I’m happy to oblige.”
Jisoo grinds his teeth and draws his sword at his hip, “Killing you will erase the humiliation I suffered at your hands. You and your dogs have been a thorn in my side since Wonweol. Today, I will have my revenge.”
“... Sounds as if you’ve got this covered,” Minhyun sighs, stepping back once more, “He’s all yours.”
Jihoon just as easily draws his sword, “Guess the face wasn’t enough, maybe if I take an arm you’ll get the message.” He soars across the room at Jisoo, their blades rattling against one another as Jisoo block’s the commander’s strike. Then, the demon pushes back and Jihoon is thrown across the hall.
“You’re not getting away,” Jisoo says coolly, his hair turning stark white, just as Jihoon’s had done at the beginning of the battle. In the blink of an eye, he leaps after his opponent, whipping his sword in a quick slash. Jihoon brings up his blade at the last second before the strike could wound him.
“You’re slow,” Jisoo taunts, “Your movements lack finesse. Don’t tell me that killing humans has tired you out? Last time you said you were a Demon…” Their blades locked together, Jihoon’s begins to shake under the pressure of the other’s force.
Jisoo’s right, though, Even with his Fury abilities, Jihoon is slower than before, too unfocused.
“Ah, I see,” the Demon’s eyes flicker to the open door for a moment, “The sun’s still out. You don’t like it much, do you?” He chuckles, “Don’t worry, I won’t go easy on you just because you’re weak. After all, a warrior always gives all he can, no matter the situation. That is your code, isn’t it?”
“Damn you!” Jihoon jumps backwards, but not fast enough to escape Jisoo’s blade. It arcs down across the Hwarang’s chest, blood erupting from the gash and splattering to the floor. Jihoon drops to his knees, skidding across the hard wooden panels panting heavily as blood blooms across his robes and pools on the floor below him.
Agonizing seconds pass as both you and he wait for the blood to stop, yet it continues to fall through his fingers clenched to the robes hanging from the wound. “What the hell is this?!” Jihoon asks through clenched teeth as he stares daggers at Jisoo standing before him.
Jisoo laughs, almost as if Jihoon had told him a joke, “What’s the matter? Not healing like you should? This,” his wrist flicks upward to show off his blade, which almost looks to be faintly glowing, “is Hwangun’s Blade. It’s been passed down through my family for generations, but… no one had ever thought to test it on a Demon. This is an excellent chance to see what it can do. And you know what? I can use it to put down a fake Demon.”
He smirks, giving the impression that he’s figured this victory is a foregone conclusion.
“You must be pretty desperate if you’re willing to grab your family’s magic sword. Really need something like that to take on a fake Demon?” Jihoon gives his own taunting laugh, but Jisoo’s grin doesn’t falter.
“You humiliated me for the first time in my life. Nothing is too much if it will send you to hell.” With another flick of his wrist, Jisoo sends droplets of gore spraying down onto the floor, “Your abilities can’t heal any wounds from this blade. You became a Fury to defeat me, but now that sacrifice means nothing.”
“So, tell me if I’ve got this right. All I have to do is avoid getting cut by that thing? Hell, before I became a Fury, all I did was dodge swords. This’ll be easy.”
“Does your impudence know no bounds?” The Demon scoffs, “Fine. I’ll put your short lived defiance to the test.” His blade shimmers a blue-white and seems to shiver with his murderous intent. The air is thick, feeling like a struggle to just breathe.
Jisoo slashes downwards toward Jihoon, who’s able to dodge out of the way in time, bringing up his own sword to strike back. But when it arcs upward, instead of hitting flesh, Jihoon’s sword cuts through air. In tandem with the strikes, Jisoo moves too fast for the bare eye to see, Jihoon’s margin for error becoming slimmer and slimmer. With another dodge, the Demon slams his riposte into the Hwarang’s shoulder. Jihoon’s robe is torn away, displaying a fresh wound.
“Good… You’re overthinking on how you might kill me,” Jisoo smirks, “But I want to see more. I want to see your face when you realize that you can’t kill me and that I will win!”
Blood pours from him, but Jihoon brings up his sword to catch Hwangun. Teeth clenched, you know that he’s lost far too much blood to carry on for much longer. Jisoo kicks Jihoon back and as he does, the commander’s hair returns to its natural hue.
“What the hell?!” Jihoon cries out, still in a defensive stance.
“Reached your limit, I see,” the Demon chortles, inching closer, “Even a false Demon is better than this pathetic existence! You might as well be an insect.” His laugh echoes through the hall, gloating over the near unconscious Jihoon, “I want to hear you cry! Scream! Beg me for your life! You and your filth have stood in my way for too long. I’ll kill you and the Hwarang!”
Jihoon’s head twitches, “Kill…the Hwarang? You?” It’s almost as if he’s keeping himself upright with sheer force of will at this point. “After we left Youngmin and the Hwarang fell to me, I felt like there was no way I could do all that by myself. I was just about ready to give it up.” Suddenly, the hair on his head shifts back to its demonic white, “...But now, when you say you want to erase everything we did… I’ll be goddamned if I let you destroy the Hwarang!”
Ichor continues to fall from him and you know that if he’s to continue like this he’ll most certainly die.
“Jihoon, no!” You cry out, “If you don’t stop you’re going to die!”
His eyes flick to you and you can already see the resolution in his gaze, then he gives you a grin before looking back to Jisoo, “You really think I care about how much of my future I’ve gotta burn to get this bastard? I can’t let him kill me here. I can’t let this bastard and his damn sword get the best of me now!”
Relaxed now, Jisoo speaks once more, “You’re practically dead already. What do you intend to do? This charade is pathetic.” Almost lazily, he swings his sword again.
Jihoon cries out in pain, not having the strength to lift his sword entirely to block the blow. Then Jisoo’s sword slams into his right shoulder. Jihoon’s clothes are soaked in blood, his skin the color of parchment.
“I hoped you might be entertaining, but I suppose it’s time for me to say goodbye now. Shame you don’t have enough energy to talk. I miss that dry wit,” Jisoo sighs, “What’s the matter? Can’t hold your sword anymore? Where’s that warrior spirit?”
Even though he struggles to draw breath, Jihoon musters what little strength he has left to reach for his sword. The point of the blade tips and weaves in the air as blood pours from his body, but he stands. Jisoo lifts his sword slick with the commander’s blood, and smiles.
“At last! I can kill you with my own hands and erase the humiliation you gave me!”
Before he can land another blow, the building shakes as an ear splitting crash barrels through somewhere on the estate. Smoke rapidly fills the room, making it hard to see.
“What is this?!” Jisoo spits, distractedly turning from Jihoon to find the root of the interruption.
“Fire! Fire!” Cries scream out from deep in the building, and you can ascertain that one of the trebuchets aligning the fortified walls had been turned against the city for some reason or another in a last act of defense.
The fire from the lit fodder spreads quickly, roaring around the room and licking at the sides of the hall. Black smoke pours into the room, irritating your eyes and throat. Even as the room plunges into a near unbearable heat, the two men don’t lower their swords.
It’s only when the ceiling begins to give way does Jisoo remark, “Damn it, this place is falling apart.” Not wanting to endanger himself, he shoves his sword back into its scabbard angrily, glaring across the smoldering wreckage at Jihoon. “I’ll let you go this time. We’ll finish this duel another day. And you will die.”
He disappears shortly thereafter and you run to Jihoon, “Are you alright?!”
Waxen skin and face writhing in pain, he doesn’t respond as he drops to the floor. And as he does, the near forgotten Minhyun walks toward you from his corner, unbothered by the flames around him.
“The Demon clans no longer intend to involve themselves in your governmental squabbles.”
“Why?” Jihoon asks, sweat beading on his forehead.
“We owed favors to Goguryeo. We feel those have now been repaid.” Minhyun shrugs, “Besides, even you must know that they will soon fall, regardless of the efforts of my kin.”
You spot a bitter smile creeping along Jihoon’s lips, “... Yeah.”
“And I suppose you intend to watch that ship sink?” Minhyun asks, “Silla never gave your Hwarang the recognition it so desired, and pawned you off when they had nothing to lose. Why do you still fight?” The truth of his words drive a knife into Jihoon’s heart, and you see his face fall.
“We’re knights of the Crown, we fight for them no matter what, right?” Jihoon says with ragged breaths, “What I’m fighting for now isn’t Hanseong or Pyongyang, or any of those bastards that call themselves ministers. What I– no– What we’re fighting for is the bond in our hearts. The bond that we joined the Hwarang with.”
His hand clenches to his chest and he lets out a small ‘fuck’ before continuing, “It’s not easy, not by a long shot, but… I’d feel like a real asshole if I died before Youngmin came back.”
Minhyun closed his eyes while Jihoon spoke, he now stands silent, “If Jisoo chooses to involve himself with either of you again, he will have betrayed the moral code that binds all of our kind. He will no longer have the support of the clans. He will be on his own.” He looks to the building around him, “I imagine this will be of little concern to him, but I ask you to hear his mind when he next tries you, he is not doing so at the behest of the Demon clans. He is, I fear, your problem now.”
Then, he turns and disappears. As you look to where he once stood, you hear Jihoon thud to the floor, collapsing from relief or exhaustion, you cannot tell. But, he’s fallen unconscious, and if you cannot escape soon, you’ll burn to death.
“Hello?! Are you here?!” A figure bursts into the hall, shrouded in smoke but with a voice you recognize.
Wonwoo had come to the rescue in your most dire hour. He quickly helps you lift Jihoon so you can shoulder the weight of his body together as you leave the estate.
Hanseong, the town Jihoon had fought tooth and nail to overtake, only remained in Silla custody for a few days. As an army of Goguryeo soldiers came within the following week to recapture the city, leaving your commander’s mission for naught. After the battle, Wong Kunhang’s army, along with the remaining Hwarang, set off to Koksan. Jihoon had somehow miraculously survived, but by no means has he recovered. For days he drifts in and out of consciousness, settling in at a small residence in Kyeju for him to recover.
𝔐𝔞𝔶 20𝔱𝔥, 666 - 𝔎𝔶𝔢𝔧𝔲, 𝔎𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔡𝔬𝔪 𝔬𝔣 𝔖𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔞 Since you’d arrived in Kyeju, you’d buisied yourself with taking care of Jihoon. As a Fury, most normal means of healing and medicine have little to no effect on him. So, most of your nursing consists of fervently hoping that his natural strength and tenacity would bring him through. Fortunately, your prayers begin to pay off and in time his wounds begin to heal.
Although those made by Jisoo’s blade did not do so easily, or quickly. You find yourself thinking of the battle of Hanseong. After watching Jihoon, many of the reluctant soldiers came around to clash swords with the enemy. They had told him it was an honor to fight alongside the Hwarang, for they were true warriors.
You replay that fated battle several times over the course of your day, you’re just about to do it again as you open the door to Jihoon’s room, set to change his bandages. Yet, you don’t have the chance, as when you peer in, you see him sitting at his desk. He’s healed enough to move and speak without pain, but he’s still meant to be confined to his bed.
“You shouldn’t be up,” you say quickly, walking inside and shutting the door behind you, “When I said you were healthy enough to get up, I didn’t mean you were healthy enough to work!”
“It’ll be only a minute,” he murmurs, looking over a few papers before him, “I’m going back to bed as soon as I finish this.”
“You nearly died! You need rest!” You rush to him, setting the bandages down on the tabletop.
“Died?” He laughs once, dryly, “Me? Hah. That was nothing. Barely a scratch.”
“Barely a– Do you know how long I’ve been taking care of you?!”
“Fine, fine,” he relents with a sigh. “Just a bit more reading, that's all I ask.”
You sigh too, reaching for his blanket he’d strewn aside when he awoke. Moving to stand behind him, you drape it over his shoulders, “At least let me put this on you. You’re going to catch a chill.”
“Hm, I’m sure even if I said I don’t want it, you wouldn’t listen to me.”
“I’m glad you see how this works,” you say with a smile, “Now, as soon as that’s done, it’s straight back to bed.”
At last he turns to look at you, his face quirked in a small, bitter smile, “Alright, fine. Sorry for the trouble.”
“Huh?” You stare back at him intently.
“Guess I should be thanking you and Wonwoo, huh? Well… I appreciate what you did. Thanks.” His thanks are rarely unaccompanied by cynicism, sarcasm or outright derision but this is different. Noticing your baffled expression he speaks again. “Something wrong? Did I say something funny?”
“Oh! No no no,” you quickly assure him, “It’s not that.” It’s more you’ve never seen him act so nice.
After that, you leave him to his work, checking back an hour later to make sure that he’s asleep and not working himself to the bone. Once doing so, you return to your quarters for another few, quiet hours, before a visitor arrives in the night.
“I thought I’d come and pay him a visit…” You hear the voice of Wong Kunhang speak out as you approach the common area, you also note Wonwoo standing next to him.
“He’s resting at the moment–” You begin, but stop when you hear movement behind you.
“Commander–!” Wonwoo says, rushing to Jihoon’s side, “I’m glad to see you standing! For a while, I really wasn’t sure what was going to happen.” His eyes begin to tear up and he blinks rapidly to clear them.
“C’mon, don’t give me that,” Jihoon gives a short laugh, “You really think I’d die so easily?”
“I’m sorry, you’re right,” he rubs his hand across his face awkwardly, trying to brush away the tears that refuse to stop forming.
“Jihoon,” Kunhang says solemnly, “I’m going to be honest with you. You fought like a Demon back in Hanseong, I’ll give you that. Morale is through the roof. The whole army won’t stop talking about you. But your actions were dangerous and idiotic,” the once calm demeanor of the general turns angered. “You are a commanding officer, not a soldier! You don’t belong on the front line!”
“General Wong, he’s only just recovered… Don’t you think you’re being a bit too harsh–” Wonwoo tries to quell the other’s discontent.
“No! I’m going to give my piece, I won’t let him slide out of this one!” Kunhang shouts, “Listen to me, Lee Jihoon. Combining our men isn’t just about new clothes and new titles, we have to change about how we think about war. We have to learn new tactics. The commander charging at the front of the army does not show that we are improving our strategy!”
Flustered at this point, Kunhang struggles hard to keep his composure, “If the soldiers are the hands and feet, then their commanding officer is the head. Without a head, the body is a useless mess! This war will be lost if we succumb to our own pride!”
Jihoon’s eyes go wide. The words similarly mirror one of the last things that Chan had said to him. Keeping his head on so that the body can move forward…
“Chan’s ghost back to haunt me,” Jihoon sighs out with a weighted smile, a faraway look in his eyes.
“Is something funny?” Kunhang frowns, “This is serious! Don’t you understand how worried I was about you? Hell, how worried the whole army was about you?!”
For a few moments, Jihoon simply stares at him.
“Say what you want!” Kunhang stands his ground, albeit a bit taken aback at the commander’s attitude, “It won’t change my mind!”
“You’re right, Wong. Sorry for worrying you.” He follows his surprisingly genuine apology with a similarly surprising bow.
Kunhang has clearly prepared himself for a variety of reactions from Jihoon, but this had been none of them. For several moments he stands there, too flabbergasted to speak.
“My apologies to you too, Wonwoo. I hear you helped carry me all the way here.”
“Oh no!” Wonwoo shakes his head, “No, it was nothing. Anything for you, sir.”
𝔍𝔲𝔫𝔢 19𝔱𝔥, 666 – 𝔎𝔬𝔨𝔰𝔞𝔫, 𝔎𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔡𝔬𝔪 𝔬𝔣 𝔖𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔞 Summer blooms from the remnants of spring in full fury. Rumors and news about the intense fighting floats in and out of the town, and you grow uneasy thinking about the loss of lives on each side. In the subsequent weeks following Wong Kunhang’s visit, he’s once again able to take Hanseong and keep a steady hand over keeping it in Silla's grasp. And although he hasn’t completely healed, Jihoon has decided to leave Kyeju as soon as he is well enough to march with Kunhang who’s now stationed in Koksan.
The way there seems longer than you'd ever thought possible. At last, you’d caught up with the main body of the Hwarang.
Hansol’s at the door to greet you the moment you arrive at the estate.
“Commander,” Hansol says with a small smile, “I’m grateful to see you alive.”
“Glad to see you’re alright too, I hear you’ve been doing well.”
Although Hansol looks relieved to be reunited with Jihoon, he frowns and rubs his hand to his forehead. Perhaps fatigue from the battles occurring is beginning to get to him.
Jihoon looks past him to the people standing behind him, “Junghwan, Dohoon, nice to see you’re still around. Was starting to get worried about you two.” Despite their commander’s voiced appreciations, both wear glum expressions.
It’s Dohoon who begins to shake before breaking down into tears, his voice quivering violently, “You entrusted me with Chief’s safety, b-but– I wasn’t strong enough! I couldn’t protect him!”
Although hearing his words, you cannot get yourself to grasp their meaning. For him to be this distraught can only mean one thing.
“We have been told that at the end of last month that Youngmin was… beheaded in Pyongyang.” Hansol steps in after Dohoon fails to compose himself, being ushered aside and consoled by Junghwan.
‘Beheaded.’ You swallow at the word. Youngmin had been killed like a common criminal, and you know it would have been pure humiliation for him.
“Hm, didn’t even let him kill himself,” it almost seems as if Jihoon had expected this. His voice is controlled and unsurprised, but within his eyes you can see a bottomless, yawning despair.
“It’s my fault he died!” Dohoon exclaims, “Please commander, I deserve to die as well!”
“I as well!” Junghwan adds, “I begged you to let me fight for his freedom, but I– I wasn’t successful! I’m a failure!”
“You idiots! Look around you,” Jihoon frowns, “There’s no goodman way we have a single Hwarang left to spare! If you’re so prepared for death, then don’t give me your cheap words. Prove yourselves on the battlefield!”
The two fall silent after a quick, “Yes sir.”
Later that night, both Seungcheol and Soonyoung come to visit Jihoon.
As members of the Fury Corp, they had been resting when you’d arrived earlier in the day.
“Your arrival has the men in something of an uproar,” Seungcheol muses, “It woke me somewhat earlier than usual.”
“I heard you got hurt pretty bad, Commander. Didn’t think we’d see you again so soon,” Soonyoung says, almost scanning for wounds on the elder.
“Well, I couldn’t just sit on my ass once I heard there were battles happening all over the place,” Jihoon says, sounding calm and relaxed. You know that isn’t how he’s feeling on the inside though. If you have been feeling depressed since learning of Youngmin’s passing, you cannot begin to comprehend how he must be feeling.
“We should be on our way then, our work begins at night, after all,” Seungcheol notes and begins to head for the door. Soonyoung nods and heads after him before Jihoon speaks up.
“Soonyoung, do you think you can tell Hansol to come by?”
“Huh?” Soonyoung looks back, “Uh, sure… I’ll go and get him now.” Before he leaves he says one more thing to Jihoon, “I know you only just got here. But you should really rest tonight.”
With both of them gone, the room falls into an awkward silence. Jihoon hasn’t told you to leave, but it seems unlikely that he’ll start talking to you either. Just as you’re about to break the quiet, Hansol opens the door and steps inside.
“I heard you had business with me. Can I help you?”
Without even waiting for him to settle in, Jihoon says, “From now on, I’ll be commanding from the front line.”
A strangled gulp treks down your throat as he says this out of almost nowhere. If he were to fight on the front line, the violence would be intense and he still hadn’t fully healed.
“Do you intend to die in battle?” Hansol asks simply.
“No,” Jihoon shakes his head, “I won’t go out that easily. You’ve been out there. Only right for me to take that burden off you, right?”
His presence would raise morale among the men but if he died, the Hwarang dies with him.
“You raise an excellent point, sir. If you mean to take my place, however,” the air grows thick as Hansol’s hand falls to his sword, “I must ask you to defeat me first. If you cannot best me, then only death awaits you on the front lines.”
“Getting a little full of yourself without me, huh?” Jihoon’s lips turn upward into a grin as his sword slides from its scabbard.
“You shouldn’t be doing this!” You cry out as Hansol’s blade is also released, the blade glinting in the glow of the lanterns.
“Stay out of this!” Jihoon says and locks eyes with Hansol. Seconds linger as they remain unmoving, just then they leap towards one another, swords struggling against one another. After a bit, Jihoon is thrown backwards to sprawl across the floorboards.
“What?!” He looks surprised. Even only partially healed, he still has far greater strength than a human, and he isn’t the type to go easy on a friend.
“This war is not so easy that you might rush to the front line without your full strength,” Hansol says and as you look back at him your eyes grow wide.
“Hansol…” With his now reddened eyes and white hair, there’s no doubt that he’s a Fury. “You drank the pimul?”
“Don’t worry about me, I made my own decision.” The simple fact that he’s decided this path says more about the battles he’s been fighting than words ever can. Hansol looks to Jihoon, who’s rising to his feet, “I understand why you wish to fight, that is why I cannot allow you to.” He straightens himself and sheaths his sword, his hair returning to normal. “Perhaps you might be able to forget your pain in the midst of battle, but I cannot afford to let you do that. You cannot be permitted to turn a blind eye to our problems.”
Jihoon slowly puts his sword away, “Because I’m the Chief now?”
“Because you’re the only one who can unify the Hwarang.” After hearing that, Jihoon sighs, only allowing Hansol to continue. “Leave the front line to us. You, Jihoon, should remain here and plan our strategies.”
“Fine. The front line’s yours until my wounds heal.”
An honest, “Thank you” leaves Hansol, and then he turns to you. “I’m leaving him in your care. Don’t let him out of your sight until he’s healthy again.”
You nod and give him what you hope to be a reassuring smile. He inclines his head to you, turns to Jihoon to give a short bow, then leaves. As soon as the door closes, Jihoon’s face darkens and his brows draw together.
“Damn it… He’s gotten to the point where he doesn’t trust me and thinks I need you as a babysitter.”
“He’s just worried about you, that’s all,” you try to justify Hansol’s actions.
Jihoon gives a bitter laugh, then stops suddenly. He gulps out a noise and clutches his stomach in pain, his body and hands shaking as his hair and eyes begin to change color. With the bloodlust taking hold, he begins to groan out in pain.
“This way,” you quickly take his arm and lead him to a room off of the main hall. In the open, anyone is privy to catch him.
As he settles in the room, you set out towards him, and he has a look in his eyes as if he already knows what your next move is. You tug at your collar, loosening it like you’d done before. He leans toward you and you feel a sharp prick on your neck, you stay as still as you can as he bites down onto you. His hot breath panting along your neck, drinking slowly as he begins to calm.
Eventually, he pulls back. There’s pain on his face but not from the bloodlust.
“This can’t go on forever…” His face turns upward into a half sour smile, “You. Me. This war. Everything…”
“Jihoon?” His eyes are distant and he doesn’t seem to hear you. You can’t describe it but something feels strange, wrong, even.
𝔖𝔢𝔭𝔱𝔢𝔪𝔟𝔢𝔯 6𝔱𝔥, 666 – 𝔎𝔬𝔨𝔰𝔞𝔫, 𝔎𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔡𝔬𝔪 𝔬𝔣 𝔖𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔞 By the time Jihoon’s injuries heal, it’s early autumn. Battles still rage along the fronts, and Silla inches nearer and nearer towards its goal. Jihoon hasn’t received any orders of late, but you feel that that’s about to change when you hear Wonwoo storming down the hallway.
You’re settled in the main room with Jihoon, Seungcheol, Soonyoung, Junghwan and Dohoon when the doors burst open, Wonwoo shouting, “I have news from Wong Kunhang! He says were to launch an offensive against Pyongyang.”
“Pyongyang? That’s the capital….” Junghwan says seriously, glancing towards Jihoon.
In other words, this may be the push to finally close in on Goguryeo.
“What now then?” Dohoon looks to Jihoon as well.
“We’ll need to get there as soon as possible. No doubt Kunhang has some elaborate plan to route out their forces.” You haven’t seen Jihoon this excited in a while, and the others in the room pick up on his energy.
“Our ships have already been sent to Ongjin, they will be able to converge on Pyongyang once the situation up north has settled.”
“Then I should go to Ongjin first,” Seungcheol says, “We should establish a stronghold for when the main body of men arrives.”
“Isn’t it a bit dangerous to have our representative be someone from the Fury Corps?” You postulate to the group.
“My father’s family is from Ongjin, you know.” Seungcheol says quietly, “I have a few connections there. I feel I am most suited to lead the advance guard. There’s… Something else that’s been bothering me as well.”
“Bothering you?” You question but all he does in response is nod and smile.
“Seungcheol… you’re supposed to be dead, aren’t you?” Soonyoung interrupts, “Seems like that might be an issue.”
“A minor detail,” he waves it off, “easily dealt with.”
“In that case, he’s probably the best choice,” Wonwoo murmurs.
“No,” Jihoon disagrees, “The Fury Corps isn’t cut out for that. You still can’t stand up during the day.”
“It’s difficult, certainly, but not impossible.” Seungcheol argues, “I don’t see any reason to just follow behind the rest of the army, and I’d be glad to push myself for this.”
You don’t doubt his ability to do that, but you do question the validity of his motives.
“There’s… a bit more to his message,” Wonwoo says after Jihoon and Seungcheol have been staring at each other for a moment. “Kunhang will be leading his men to Tagok Pass in hopes of stalling the Goguryeo reinforcements. I believe he means to buy time so that our allies can sack the city without interference. But…”
“The pass is on the front line right now,” Soonyoung drums his fingers along the hilt of his sword. “I understand what he’s trying to do, but I don’t think it’s going to be as easy as he thinks it’ll be.”
“That’s a good point,” Junghwan sighs, “The enemy’s getting desperate, and we don’t know what else they’ve got up their sleeves.”
“If we want Kunhang to come back alive, we need to send some reinforcements to go along with him,” Jihoon ascertains.
“I disagree.” Seungcheol frowns. “If we are to win in Pyongyang, we must arrive there at full strength.”
“Are you saying we should abandon Kunhang then?” Hansol asks.
“Well, if both of our forces are wiped out by Goguryeo, there is hardly any point at all.”
The men all shoot glances at one another, formulating their own thoughts and responses before Hansol speaks once more, “I will remain with Wong. Without their aid in previous battles none of us would be here. I will go to Tagok Pass. Jihoon, please take the rest of the men to Ongjin.”
“Hansol, you–” Jihoon’s eyes grow wide.
“Then I’ll go and prepare to depart.” Before giving Jihoon a chance to respond, Seungcheol stands quickly and leaves the room.
Soonyoung doesn’t seem particularly happy about the way things have gone either, and after a moment of furious thought, he stands as well, “I guess I’ll go with him. Don’t really want to let him out of my sight, you know.”
“Yeah,” Jihoon nods, “That’s probably smart.”
“Be careful, Soonyoung,” you say as he walks past you. He gives you a small smile and a wink, then dashes out the door after Seungcheol.
“Jeon,” Jihoon looks at the man still at the door, “I need you to go and tell Kunhang what we’ve decided.”
“Understood,” Wonwoo says quickly, “I’ll be off as soon as I can.”
Once he leaves, Hansol turns to Jihoon. Whether or not he was waiting for the room to be cleared, you’re unsure.
“Please survive. No matter what happens.”
“What’s the matter?” His brow furrows as he looks to the other, “That came from nowhere.”
“In the Hwarang, you and Youngmin upheld the path of a true warrior.” Even when slanted by their own kingdom, they had never compromised what they stand for. “Our standard of truth is a banner for everyone who fights. We lead the way.”
Hansol and Jihoon look at one another silently, before Hansol continues. “As the man who made the Hwarang into what it has become, it must be your duty to carry that standard. Every Hwarang before you and after is relying on that.”
“You make it sound so easy.” Jihoon replies with his thin lipped grin. “I’ll promise you this though, I’ll stick around until the Hwarang’s dead, or I am.”
“Thank you, Chief.” Hansol smiles, eventually turning to you, “I leave Jihoon in your care.”
The words are few but hold great emotion behind them, “We’ll be fine. I’m sure of it… After all, I don’t think he could die even if someone killed him. I’ve seen him on the verge of death many times, but he always pulls through. So,” your jaw locks and you look directly into Hansol’s eyes, “Please don’t die, Hansol.”
The battle at Tagok Pass is sure to be an intense one. Many lives, you’re sure, are going to be lost.
“I won’t die even if I get killed?” Jihoon’s eyebrow piques, “That’s quite a statement. If you’ve got time to worry about me, maybe you oughta be worrying about yourself too, Hansol.” He’d said it as a joke but there’s no mistaking his underlying sincerity.
“I won’t die easily either. After all, I will be fighting in the name of the Hwarang.” Hansol says calmly and then addresses you, “Thank you for your kind gesture.”
And so, you accompany Jihoon to Ongjin. He’s still gravely concerned about Hansol, thus he’d ordered Wonwoo to remain alongside him at Tagok Pass. Leaving them both turns out to be much more difficult than you’d imagined. All you can do is pray that they survive, and that you will meet again someday.
𝔇𝔢𝔠𝔢𝔪𝔟𝔢𝔯 1𝔰𝔱, 666 – 𝔒𝔫𝔤𝔧𝔦𝔫, 𝔎𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔡𝔬𝔪 𝔬𝔣 𝔖𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔞 As winter takes hold, the cold wind blows down on the main body of the Hwarang as they arrive in Ongjin. The trip had been impeded by several small snowstorms, but now upon your arrival a new problem is encountered: Seungcheol and the Fury Corps were nowhere to be found. Soonyoung, too, had been unheard from.
From the townspeople in Ongjin, you hear disturbing rumors that murder has been on the rise in recent weeks.
Upon reaching the regional minister’s house, you’re met with a man who splits a grin as soon as he sees Jihoon. “Long time no see, Lee. How are you?”
“I’m glad to see you’re doing well, Qian.”
Later on, you learn that this man is Qian Kun, the Tang navy’s second-in-command. When the Yamoto forces had fired upon Sabi some years earlier, Kun had been in command of the Tang ships that aided the Silla forces on land. While Jihoon hadn’t been at the battle, he was able to speak with and befriend the man when he visited Seorabeol some weeks later.
“Have you already heard about Youngmin?” Kun frowns,as Jihoon nods. “I apologize for having been unable to help. Your kingdom has truly lost a great man.”
“He would’ve been happy to hear you say that,” Jihoon says with a bitter smile, “But he wouldn’t want us to stand around crying about him. He’d want us to get to work. Can you give me a rundown of what we’re working with?”
“Unfortunately I don’t have the greatest news,” Kun says, “While we’ve secured the city, there is something… wrong occurring. I have requested a meeting with the newly implemented officials but I haven’t received any form of response. To top it off, there’s a suspicious group of men running around Ongjin. Well, there are rumors, at least.”
“Suspicious how?”
“Well murders have increased, and a few rumors report the assailiants running back to the minister’s home.”
Suspicious men running around, possibly murdering civilians… Seungcheol and the Fury Corps unreachable… It isn’t hard to put two and two together.
Jihoon and you lock eyes, no doubt thinking the same thing.
“If this continues we may become sidetracked here from our main goal,” Qian states, “Perhaps if we could arrest these murders and restore peace in this area…”
“Kun, think you could leave the murders to me?” The other man opens his mouth to protest, but something in Jihoon’s gaze makes him change his mind and he nods.
“Alright, I’ll leave this one to you. No more questions from me.”
Once Kun returns to his men, you turn to Jihoon, “Do you think it’s Seungcheol…?”
“Can’t say,” Jihoon sighs out breathily, “You heard the same things I did. No way to know for sure but if it is… I’ll have to kill him.”
“Jihoon…”
“He got pretty freaked out when he heard about where a Fury's power comes from. Might be he’s pretty depressed right now. Maybe crazy.” He shakes his head and looks to the minister’s house, “Strange things are afoot in Ongjin. We can’t be careless.”
𝔇𝔢𝔠𝔢𝔪𝔟𝔢𝔯 2𝔫𝔡, 666 - 𝔒𝔫𝔤𝔧𝔦𝔫, 𝔎𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔡𝔬𝔪 𝔬𝔣 𝔖𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔞 The next day, Jihoon begins his investigation. Despite your attempts to convince him that he still needs rest, not the stress of a murder investigation, he presses on. And so, that is how you find yourself lounging around the rooms the Hwarang are occupying while Jihoon goes off on rounds with the rest of the men.
You’re engrossed in reading over some medical papers Namekawa had left you with when you receive an unexpected visitor.
“Where were you this whole time?!” The papers drop from your grasp as Kwon Soonyoung steps into the room, “We couldn’t contact you, we were all so worried…”
“Do you know where Jihoon is?” He doesn’t answer your question, but rather jumps straight to the chase.
“He’s off doing rounds at the minister’s estate…”
“Ah,” Soonyoung looks a bit crestfallen, “Can you give him a message for me? I can tell you everything since we got here. Just make sure you pass it on to him.”
You gulp, waiting for him to open up. “The minister isn’t being cooperative. Chances are they're being pressured by the enemy somehow. At least that's what Seungcheol thinks. So, we looked around a little more and while we were doing that we found out that Heo is actually here.”
“What?!” You cry out at the unexpected revelation. Your father had been forced to do research on the Furies by the revivalists before the war broke out, or at least that's what you thought.
“Yeah… and… he seems to be leading a unit of Furies for the Goguryeo forces.” Soonyoung frowns, “Well we figured we could just let that slide so we started watching their Furies, you know, where they go and stuff and well… I saw Seungcheol meeting with Heo.”
Soonyoung explains that Seungcheol told him they'd be more likely to get spotted if they moved together and went off on his own. This is pretty peculiar on its own but sometime after they split up Soonyoung witnessed Seungcheol meeting with your father.
“I don’t know anymore… I don’t know what Seungcheol is thinking.”
“It doesn’t mean that Seungcheol is connected with Goguryeo, does it?” Your brow furrows.
“If that were the case then there wouldn't be a need for him to lie to me though, right?” Soonyoung says frustratedly, “Doesn't act like he's got any plans to contact the rest of the Hwarang. I just didn't know what to do…”
You’re not sure what else to say and just before you open your mouth you hear a commotion happening at the entrance of the building. The door to your room is kicked open and several strange men suddenly leap inside.
“Who the hell are they–?! Shit!” Soonyoung shouts as they unsheathe their swords and lunge after him. He dodges the attack easily drawing his own sword as he moves. He strikes out at one of the men before he has a chance to recover. The man laughs and the spot where Soonyoung had struck him is beginning to heal immediately. Suddenly, the man's eyes begin to grow a deep crimson you understand what you're up against.
“Furies…!”
“Get behind me!” Soonyoung reaches out and grabs your wrist, pulling you backwards.
“Now, there’s no need for that,” a new voice says from the entrance. You feel your eyelids footer incredulously after hearing a man's voice. It's familiar… nostalgically so.
“Father?!” You’re frozen in place as Soonyoung continues to fight the Furies.
“What the hell!? Who are these guys! It's broad daylight! How are they moving swiftly?!”Although he's Clearly they're superior regards to swordsmanship, he's outnumbered and the daylight had weakened him. He's slow and his strikes are unsure.
Your father maintains his cool composure, and he mutters under his breath as he observes the events, “Aren't they wonderful? Furies no longer restrained by the cycles of day and night.”
“You…” You stare at him, mouth agape, “You did this?”
“Of course, my child. I am unsure if the news has reached you yet but I was captured by the Goguryeo Army, and in this captivity I continued to research the pimul.”
“Father– you need to stop them!” You look to your friend fighting, “At this rate he’ll–”
Heo Jinsang’s eyes widen as if he’s only just remembered and he looks over to Soonyoung with a smile. “Ah, yes. I don’t know how to thank you. Without you, it would have taken much longer to find my daughter.”
“You followed me?!” Soonyoung spits through grit teeth.
Ignoring him, your father looks back to you and speaks with a soft voice, “I’ve come to get you. At last, we’ll be able to restore our clan.”
“Clan…? You mean the Heo family?”
“With these superior Furies, restoring the glory of our clan will be child’s play.” Heo laughs, “Once the kingdoms bear witness to the potential of these breakthroughs, they cannot ignore us! We can even wipe out the Demon clans who rejected our plea for help, avenging our kin!”
“You’re planning on using Furies to restore the Heo lineage to power?”
“Yes, I am. Everything I have done was for you.” His voice evokes the same tone he had used to speak to you when you were a child. You shake your head to combat it and his eyes narrow. With a few swift footfalls, he closes in, “You’ve been with the Hwarang for too long. They’ve corrupted you.”
No… It isn’t you who’s changed, it’s your father.
“Goddamn it! Get off me you bastards!” Despite being out of breath, Soonyoung manages to swipe at the Furies with his sword, giving himself space. However, no matter the amount of wounds he’s able to inflict on them, they heal immediately.
“Father…”
“If we just sit down and talk this through, I’m sure you’d understand.” Your father’s face lies in a stony demeanor.
“I–!” Before you can say anything else, he drives his fist into your stomach. Stars leap before your eyes, the world grows dark and you slip into unconsciousness.
When you awake, you’re in an unfamiliar room.
“Where…” Your hands gripping your head as you sit up, “Where am I?”
“You’re at the minister’s estate.” A voice says before you and you widen your eyes.
“Seungcheol?!” You cry out before noticing the figure next to him. Beside him stands your father.
“What’s going on here?” You say as you scramble to your feet. “Why are you two together?!”
“I met with Heo secretly here in Ongjin, and we’ve agreed to work together in order to do Fury research.” Seungcheol explains, resting his arm on the hilt of his sword.
“Then… You’re working with Goguryeo? You’ve betrayed Silla… Betrayed the Hwarang…”
“Is that what you think?” Seungcheol raises an eyebrow, “Interesting…” Explaining himself had never been one of Seungcheol’s strong points.
“How are you feeling, my child?” Heo asks sympathetically, “I apologize for the rough treatment. I hope you aren’t too hurt.” His tone is intimate and caring, you feel yourself wavering towards the father you used to know.
“I suggest you make no attempts to escape…” Seungcheol says calmly but with more intimidation than you’d seen from him before, “We could make that difficult. In any event, it was reckless of you to bring her here, Heo.” He glances at you before continuing, “Jihoon is no fool. Her disappearance will surely mean that he will be onto our plans. I expect him at any moment.”
“You told me that if I wanted to know where my daughter was, I just had to follow Kwon to the Hwarang.”
“Yes. I did.” Seungcheol’s lips curve into a frown, “But I never suggested to kidnap her. Alas, what’s done is done. No point arguing about it. We need to be thinking about what this could mean, and plan for it.”
“I’m sure the Furies I left to deal with Kwon will return to the estate soon, you needn’t worry about the future.” Heo shrugs.
“What did you do to Soonyoung?” Your voice nearly breaks.
“I doubt he survived. After all, I did bring quite a few of them.”
Your whole body shakes. You want wholeheartedly to not believe it, but the Furies that your father had brought were unlike any you’d ever seen before. Soonyoung had already looked pale and weak even before he’d started fighting…
“You just have to assume I’m dead?” A voice says from the open doorway, “C’mon, that hurts my feelings…” He’s leaning against the frame and someone brushes past him, glaring at Seungcheol and your father.
“You alright?” Jihoon asks as he looks at you.
“I am!” You nod vigorously and he lets out a snort of laughter.
“How did you find us?!” Heo asks incredulously, “I’ve made so many improvements on my Furies. How could you have destroyed them all?”
“Improvements? If you say so, but if you want to take out the Hwarang, you’ll need about ten times what you sent.” Jihoon smirks.
“I figured you’d be here soon,” Seungcheol murmurs, “You didn’t bring any of the men, though… Well, I suspected you wouldn’t. Still, doesn’t it seem rather reckless for the two of you to charge headfirst into unknown enemy territory?”
“Explain.” Jihoon’s eyes narrow at Seungcheol, “Why didn’t you contact us?”
“There’s nothing for you in Ongjin.” Seungcheol says simply.
“I was given orders by Yeon Gaesomun to come here. They told me to take my Furies and kill the traitors who reside here. However, I found such a plan unagreeable when so many test subjects reside here…” Heo sighs out.
“We found common ground in our distaste for Goguryeo,” Seungcheol explains, “and thusly decided to seize Ongjin for ourselves.”
“So you’re not fighting with our enemy…?” You struggle to piece together everything.
“I’m on your side, child. I have no intention of taking part in mankind’s disputes.” Your father says as he crosses his arms, “Let us bring retribution to the humans who destroyed our clan and the Demons who betrayed us. It is in our destiny to forge a new Demon kingdom with our own hands– no, we will be the only Demon clan!”
You recall Sooyoung explaining how the Heo village had been destroyed by humans. Even then, you can’t get yourself to agree with your father.
Just then, the sound of footsteps loudly resound out from the hallway. Furies pour into the room as Seungcheol smiles, “Ah, they seem to have noticed our intruders.”
“Hey–!” Jihoon’s eyes widen as he notices their faces, “They’re the Hwarang’s–!”
“Not only does this castle hold the remnants of Goguryeo’s Fury army, but also of the Hwarang’s Fury Corps.” Seungcheol crosses his arms, “All of the Furies that exist in both Kingdoms are gathered here.”
Red eyes surround Soonyoung, Jihoon and you. No humanity resides in their gazes.
“Please give us your help,” Your father calls out to you, “We need you to lead us. You must command the Furies and restore the Heo clan.”
But you don’t care about restoring the clan. You don’t want to create more Furies so that blood can drive them mad. You don’t want to see more suffering.
“Father… you’re wrong.” Heo’s eyes go wide when you speak. “Building a kingdom on the corpses of others isn’t right! I can’t agree to it!”
Human or Demon, every life is precious. Just because your home village was destroyed doesn’t mean you can oppress humans.
“I believe Heo was saying that he’d be willing to assist the Hwarang.” Seungcheol interjects, looking at Jihoon. “What do you think, Lee? Would you like to lead this army of Furies against Goguryeo?”
“You know the answer.” With Jihoon having been against Furies from the very beginning, you doubt he’s changed his mind about them.
“So I suppose that ends our negotiation.” Seungcheol sighs, slowly drawing his sword from its scabbard. “Very well…”
You stiffen, yet Jihoon doesn’t move towards his own blade. He remains still, cooly contemplating Seungcheol. Almost as if someone’s dumping white ink on it, Seungcheol’s hair slowly changes to white and he raises his sword.
Instead of swiping at Jihoon though, he cuts down a Fury standing nearby him.
“All a Fury exists for is battle, and now we’ve taken that away from them…” Seungcheol shakes his head with a sigh, “The least I can do for them is let them die here, in battle.”
The room falls silent. Then it explodes in noise– the enraged cries of the Furies and the rattle of swords being drawn.
“Soonyoung–” Jihoon says quickly.
“I know!” The younger shouts and drops into a fighting stance, slipping his hand around the hilt of his sword. A grin splits on his lips as his hair turns white, “Seungcheol, this is way too badass for an old guy like you! Why didn’t you tell us?!”
“Well,” Seungcheol chuckles, “as they say, to fool your enemies, you must first fool your friends.” Their swords whistle and spark through the air, Fury after Fury falling before them. “Besides, doesn’t the hero’s right-hand man make the best villain?”
Jihoon responds with a bark of wry laughter and draws his own sword in a flash of silver light as his hair turns white as well. The men get into their stances and face the Furies as Furies themselves.
“The hell are you talking about?” Jihoon says with a grin, “Still means the hero gets stuck cleaning up the damn mess.”
As their three swords spin and hiss through the air, blood gushes and spatters, painting the walls of the estate a deep red. Wave after wave conquered, they drown their foes in a sea of blood. You notice that your mouth has gone dry, your hands beginning to shake. In the corner, you spot your father sitting down.
“Everything you told me was a lie?” Heo asks Seungcheol. “You said you wanted to do more research on the Furies in the kingdom of Demons… Why?”
“I saw the end.” Seungcheol answers, “I was trying to discover a way for Furies to live past their… limits. Our short lifespans made me impatient. To continue my research I even dirtied my hands.” Every suspicious thing he had done had been in the service of a single goal: saving his fellow Furies. “We have no future as Furies. You know this as well as I do, Heo.”
“No matter how resistant you make them to sunlight, they will push themselves too hard, and their lifespans will shrink and the bloodlust will drive them mad.” Seungcheol confirms the truth you’d all suspected: there is no way to save the Furies. “We are a mistake: a failed experiment. Furies are not something that should exist in this world. Let’s end this.”
Seungcheol’s true intentions leave you surprised, as does his admission that the Furies are a failure. Is he right? Can they not be saved? Has all hope been lost? You let your mind drift for a moment, and then you see a shadow move in the corner of your eye– A Fury only feet from you, his eyes red and mad with bloodlust. You reach for your sword but it’s too late.
Before your hand even touches the hilt, you see the Fury’s blade sweeping toward you. Blood splashes down onto the floor before you, but it isn’t yours. A figure standing before you had taken the blow in your stead.
“Father?!”
The Fury pulls back for another swing but then it freezes, gurgles oddly and slides neatly in half, a blade glistening in the center.
“Turn your back on us in a fight, will you?” Jihoon spits as he looks down to the halved Fury, “Idiot.” He shifts his eyes up to your father’s wound, and you see his face twitch. Immediately, he moves closer and turns his back to the two of you, sword held at the ready.
“Are you… alright? Are you hurt anywhere?” Your father asks as he turns to look at you. There’s blood splattered all over his chest. The wound, now that you can see it, is undoubtedly a fatal one.
“Yes, yes. I’m fine. I’m not hurt at all,” you say quickly. His hand reaches out and grasps your shoulder, he falls to his knees and you follow after him. Quickly you lay him on his back, clutching at his hand.
“Our research was a… failure. I knew there was no future for the Furies…” He murmurs out as tears begin to well in your eyes, “But I couldn’t give it up… I wanted to bring back your clan, your family.” Ever since you were young he’d always tried to do what was best for you. “It seems my fate is to die with the Furies… I have committed terrible sins. This is for the best, please, don’t cry.”
You nod your head knowing that if you’re to open your mouth the tears would never stop. He gives you one last smile, sighs a calm breath and is gone.
After what seems like an eternity, you look up. The battle is over. The Furies that came to fruition by the Hwarang and your father lie dead, scattered around the room.
“Kind of a waste, isn’t it?” Seungcheol says as he looks at the bodies, “That many Furies could have been awfully useful… The Hwarang could have used these men.”
“You don’t win battles by thinking you’ll lose them.” Jihoon says.
“Well, you don’t win by thinking you’ll win either,” Soonyoung snorts with laughter, then coughs to cover it up.
It’s true, the Hwarang had lost a lot of Furies but their unity had grown stronger.
“Ack–!” A sudden burst of pain wipes the grin from Soonyoung’s face. Seungcheol, too, has doubled over in agony. Their hair which had returned to normal goes back to stark white.
“Looks like we’ve reached our limit,” Seungcheol says through grit teeth.
Minhyun’s words suddenly flash to you. The Fury’s power isn’t a gift from the gods. You’re only borrowing life that you would spend decades on.
Soonyoung sees your eyes go wide and gives you an awkward sort of laugh, “We were some of the first Furies.” They’d been in more battles as Furies than anyone else, and all of the strength and healing they’d enjoyed ate away at their futures until there was nothing left.
“Did you know…?” The question leaves Jihoon as a whisper.
Seungcheol smiles and then gives a slow nod, “What warrior doesn’t know his own body?” His legs suddenly shake violently and he falls to the floor, Soonyoung soon following.
Jihoon drops to his knees and takes both of their hands in his own.
“Jihoon… Do you remember?” Seungcheol remineces weakly, “Back when we were at Kwak Hall, we would spend all night talking.”
“Yeah,” Jihoon nods, “We would say that Youngmin would never be content with being just the heir of a small school. We promised to do what we could for him…”
“Who would’ve thought he would leave this world before us?” Seungcheol frowns and his voice grows quiet, “I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye, but without you, we couldn’t have built up the Hwarang.”
“Same goes for you too…” Jihoon says with a small smile, “You were the one that always calmed me down whenever I’d start a fight with Yixing.” He’s doing his best to act tough so that Soonyoung and Seungcheol won’t worry.
“Looks like we’re taking the lead this time… Don’t be in too much of a hurry to catch up though, alright?” Soonyoung adds in a bright and kind tone, “I mean, you barely had any time to rest since you joined the Hwarang.”
Jihoon just nods.
“I’m having a hard time buying that ‘yes’. You’re a little too short-tempered to keep a promise like that…”
“Shut it, you little brat. You really think I’m gonna take that crap from you?”
Soonyoung’s face relaxes as Jihoon snarls back at him. Even in this moment, Jamein’s tender and kind for the benefit of his Chief.
“You must go south.” Seungcheol suddenly says. “Heo said he used water from Tamna when he was refining the pimul.”
Your eyes widen– perhaps there still is hope. Maybe, just maybe, there’s a chance something south can repair the curse of the Fury to these men. Seungcheol’s last words are the fait muster of hope for the fate of the Furies.
“Jihoon… Don’t… don’t lose sight of what matters, alright? Being reckless doesn’t work out so well.” Soonyoung’s voice has grown rough and raspy. Jihoon’s knuckles whiten as they tighten around his comerade’s hands. But with a sound like sand pouring over a stone, their hands crumble into ash. In moments, they are no more.
“Jihoon…” You call out but he doesn’t answer. He only stares, silent, at the twin piles of ash that sit where his friends were only moments before. There aren’t any tears in his eyes, but even so he’s somehow crying.
You’re not sure how long you sit there before he stands up. The room that includes only you two is devastatingly quiet.
“Let’s go.” He says quietly, his voice curt and clipped. Yet, when he turns to you, his eyes suddenly go wide. “Hey, no crying.”
You nod, trying to stop, but it’s no good. The tears don’t pause, regardless of how much you wipe them away. In one day– an hour– you’ve been forced to say goodbye to Soonyoung, to Seungcheol… and the father you haven’t seen in over a year.
𝔇𝔢𝔠𝔢𝔪𝔟𝔢𝔯 17𝔱𝔥, 666 – 𝔒𝔫𝔤𝔧𝔦𝔫, 𝔎𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔡𝔬𝔪 𝔬𝔣 𝔖𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔞 The events of the magistrate’s house resonate with you for a while, and after some time has passed you find yourself alone again, standing in front of the estate. Wisps of snowflakes fall around you, wind hitting your cheeks and chapping your lips.
“They sure took their sweet-ass time,” Jihoon quips as he exits the front gates of the building. His worn expression indicates a worried tiredness.
“Hello,” you greet him, “How was the meeting?”
“How? Hmph.” He shakes his head, “Those idiots north of Pyongyang don’t like any of the plans we’ve proposed, even with Kunhang and I poking around as often as we are. Apparently with the incident here and continuing at Tagok, Munmu doesn’t trust us yet to act. That’s the bullshit they relayed! Can you believe that?”
Jihoon paces the front gate, arms crossed and breath puffing in the air, “They act all high and mighty on their capital in the north, but pussy out when it’s time for the final push. It’s pathetic, Munmu hasn’t done shit and is relying on the Tang for everything.” He frowns, “Whatever. Let’s head back to the inn, the sun’s really beating down today.”
“Okay…” A cloud of frustration seems to follow you as you return to the inn, most notably in Jihoon. “We’ll be there soon enough, hang in there.” His skin looks pale and watching him in silent agony makes your heart ache.
“Don’t worry about me,” he sighs, “How about you? Are you holding up alright?”
“I’m… fine. I mean, I’m pretty resilient.”
“How can you say that?” He lets out a dry laugh, “You stay up all night just to tend to me…”
“I’m tough.” You smile back, “When you finally fall asleep, it gives me the peace of mind so that I can rest easily too.”
Jihoon’s lips curl and he doesn’t seem satisfied with your answer. Instead, he just stares at you. He turns his head gradually to the hues of red and orange covering the winter sky in the distance. You follow his lead and look towards the horizon.
“Huh…?” Your vision suddenly blurs.
“Hey, what’s the matter?” Jihoon’s right next to you, but yet his voice sounds so distant.
Before you know it, your body collapses to the ground.
“Hey!” Jihoon shouts out, “You alright?! Hang in there!”
When you regain consciousness, you discover yourself tucked snugly in bed.
“About time you woke up,” Jihoon says as you look around the room. “Do you know where you are right now?”
“Ah! Jihoon…” Once you realize that it’s him, you snap out of your daze. “I’m sorry, I–”
“You idiot!” He shouts, causing you to jump. “If you weren’t feeling well, you shouldn’t have gone outside. You should’ve rested!”
“I’m sorry…” It feels as if a stone has dropped into the pit of your stomach as he scolds you, and you can only look down at your hands.
“Uhm, well… I guess I shouldn’t be too hard on you,” Jihoon sighs. “You’ve barely had any chance to rest, especially after what happened with your father’s passing… I can’t really be surprised that you would push yourself to act like everything’s normal.”
But he’s lost people too, and if you’re suppressing how you’ve been feeling you can’t imagine the turmoil happening within him,
“Until further notice, you don’t have to join me when I meet with members of the war council. You’re going to stay here to rest.”
“What?” You shake your head, “No, I’m fine. Today was just a lot to handle. So, please… I’ll be careful. I won’t let this become a problem again in the future.”
“Why? Because Youngmin, Chan and Eunseok asked you to watch after me or something?” His head tilts, “None of the men who died for us would have wanted you to look after me at the expense of your own health.”
He does have a point. But that isn’t the only reason you’re still here.
“I… I want to be by your side, Jihoon.”
“Yeah?” His brow furrows, “Why’s that?”
“What do you mean ‘why’?” I, um…” You can’t continue. Of course, you know the true answer but to admit that is a bit too much. There’s no way you can tell him your feelings. Suddenly, the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end.
“Well, fine. Whatever,” he waves it off, flashing his usual sense of detachment, muttering to himself, “If you don’t want to tell me, I don’t care.” Caught up in his own thoughts, he mutters something shortly, “You were close with Namekawa, right?”
“I wasn’t close with him… My father was, though.” You admit, “However, he did watch after me frequently.”
“I see. He’s a good man, but I just can’t seem to put my full trust in him.”
“Okay…?” You can’t quite grasp the point Jihoon is trying to make.
“If anything happens while we’re out here, I want you to find him and stay with him.” Jihoon states, “Even if Goguryeo catches you, they won’t touch you as long as you’re with him.”
“What? Why would they–”
“Look. When you’re at war, you can’t just prepare for victory. Gotta consider your defeat as well.” Jihoon crosses his arms, “I’m sure Doctor Namekawa will show up here any day, so when that happens…” He falls silent. After a while, he shakes his head tenderly, “Nothing. Forget it. I’m just rambling.”
In the empty space of your conversation, you try to sift through what Jihoon’s trying to say. All you can do is pray that this brief, peaceful reprieve will prolong itself for a bit longer.
𝔇𝔢𝔠𝔢𝔪𝔟𝔢𝔯 21𝔱𝔥, 666 – 𝔒𝔫𝔤𝔧𝔦𝔫, 𝔎𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔡𝔬𝔪 𝔬𝔣 𝔖𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔞 In the following days Kun and Jihoon make another trip to the war council stationed in the minister’s home. Although they hope their audience with the officials will be fruitful, it turns out to be less than eventful.
“Yeah,” Kun sighs, “It’s no use. The water’s going to be frozen over soon enough, I get that. But waiting until it thaws in the spring…”
“It’s idiotic,” Jihoon agrees. “Guess we should kick back and relax until then, huh?”
“Even if you’re joking it’s not funny.” Kun frowns, “We’re only giving them more time to reinforce Pyongyang.”
“Sure,” Jihoon says, “But it’s not like they’ve got anyone else to come in and save them. They’ll be holed up in the city, waiting for a reprieve. If they’re smart they’d have surrendered by now.”
“Knowing Gaesomun, it’s not like he’ll have a shortage of ideas of how to turn this around. For fuck’s sake he killed their last king to wrest power from him. I suppose we’ll refrain from making any rash decisions until we reunite with Boo.”
𝔇𝔢𝔠𝔢𝔪𝔟𝔢𝔯 26𝔱𝔥, 666 – 𝔒𝔫𝔤𝔧𝔦𝔫, 𝔎𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔡𝔬𝔪 𝔬𝔣 𝔖𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔞 You find Jihoon in his apartments when you approach him, “I hear our forces are gathering in the north of the city… Are we leaving?”
“The Hwarang serves two things:” he sighs, “the King and the Kingdom. That hasn’t changed.”
“The Hwarang show the way, right?” You point out.
“It’s funny, isn’t it? All this time, we had those lords and ministers looking down and judging our actions. Now look at us.” You can almost recall Youngmin’s grin as Jihoon smiles.
“Well, that’s one more reason not to die, then.”
It’s a burden on him, undoubtedly, but Jihoon has seen many of his friends lay down their lives for the Hwarang and what it represents. Knowing what it had meant to them, he can’t allow himself to die.
“As long as the men believe in what we stand for, I can’t let the Hwarang die.” The doubt you’d seen in him weeks before is gone. He’s accepted his place at the head of the Hwarang. “I have to protect them.”
He looks over to you, his gaze warm, it makes you feel better than you have in a while. Just being next to him is enough to make you feel like everything is right in the world.
𝔇𝔢𝔠𝔢𝔪𝔟𝔢𝔯 30𝔱𝔥, 666 – 𝔒𝔫𝔤𝔧𝔦𝔫, 𝔎𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔡𝔬𝔪 𝔬𝔣 𝔖𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔞 A few more days pass and the men you’d left to go to Tagok Pass finally reach Onjin. Unfortunately, bad news comes with their victory over the pass.
“Hansol has fallen in battle,” Wonwoo reports, his head bowed, “His last words were ‘Leave the rest to Jihoon’...”
Ever since this war started, you’re unsure of how many times you’ve seen this expression on a warrior’s face. You bite your lip until it almost bleeds.
Jihoon puts his hands on Wonwoo’s shoulders, giving him some words of encouragement, “I’m sorry I put you through that, Jeon. I’m just glad you made it back alive.”
Wonwoo’s eyes grow wide and he looks overcome with emotion, “Th–Thank you sir!”
Soonyoung and Seungcheol lost their lives in Ongjin, and Hansol at Tagok… This means that Jihoon is the only Fury left among the Hwarang.
“It’s been hard already, but I’m pretty sure things are going to get worse,” Jihoon crosses his arms, “You’ve all fought enough, so…”
Wonwoo sets his jaw and looks back at Jihoon, “I’ve given my life to the Hwarang, it just hasn’t been lost yet. We’ll follow you to the end of the world and back, sir.”
“Me too!” Junghwan says firmly, “I’ll follow you all the way!”
“Let me accompany you, no matter where it takes us!” Dohoon adds.
“You guys…” Jihoon’s almost at a loss for words.
“We want to fight as the Hwarang, not as foot soldiers of Silla. We want to fight for the justice we believe in.” Wonwoo smiles at him reassuringly.
You’re sure that if Youngmin were alive, he’d be crying. The Hwarang united in body and mind. A great happiness wells within you and suddenly you can’t hold it in any longer. Tears spill forth from your eyes.
“... Idiots.” Jihoon’s face twists into a sneer, but there isn’t any hiding the warmth in his eyes as he looks out over the men. They know the coming battle will not be an easy one, but there is no doubt in their mind: their place is with Jihoon and the Hwarang.
Imagine the boys have been on tour for a few months. Idol!Jihoon hasn’t been able to call you and text are rare. In fact, the last time he texted you was a week ago. You understood, he’s busy but that didn’t change the fact that you felt lonely. You blamed yourself for feeling so entitled to him, for being selfish. You had your doubts, “Maybe he’ll break up with me soon” or “he probably feels burdened by being with me”, all those thoughts came to mind.
Tonight you were feeling especially doubtful. He was coming home today but unlike on other tours, he didn’t send you a message saying he much he wanted to come home and relax with him and just be with him. Instead, you got a single message, “I’m Sorry”.
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