Johnny Seo X Reader - Tumblr Posts
He was addictive
Johnny x reader
Summary: You felt like you have loved Johnny since forever. But why would he like you back? So you opted to simply stay friends with him.
Warnings: mentions of drugs
Genre: Angst
Word count: 1k (1047 words)
A/N: I suggest you listen to “ High Enough - K.Flay (RAC Remix) // slowed.” as i got a lot of inspiration from it!
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The car the two of you were in slowed down and eventually came to a stop. You glanced at him and back at the beautiful scenery in front of you. In all honestly, you couldn’t decide who was more beautiful. Him or the scenery.
You both opened the car doors, leaving them open so that the music you played could be heard outside too. You were alone there, so it’s not like you would disturb anyone else. The sweet ambience of the music paired with the sound of the wind and nature made you relax, as you leaned on the windshield, Johnny didn’t mimic your actions, which gave you the chance to stare at his back.
You had admitted it to yourself long ago. You liked him. No, scratch that, you loved him. But how could you not? Literally everyone liked him for obvious reasons. He is so kind, so fun to be around, so understanding. As his longtime friend, you got to know him even better than what others did and you obviously fell deeper for him.
What he thought was awkward, cringy or a flaw was the thing you adored the most about him. You loved how he acted around people he doesn’t know well, you loved how he wasn’t afraid to show who he really is when he was around his closest friends, you loved how he wasn’t afraid to show vulnerability when he was around you. You loved every side of him.
He was sweet and caring to everyone, but it still made you feel a certain type of way when he acted like that to you. You have experienced so many things with Johnny, he has seen you at your best and your worst. You have seen him at his best and worst too. But other than you, he had other close friends too, who have also seen all his sides.
But how does he always make you feel unique? It’s the way he pays his undivided attention to you when you speak. It’s the way he holds you close when you feel broken. It’s the way he smiles at you, the way he laughs at your jokes.
You’re not sure when you fell for him, but it feels like it had always been like this. Being away from him always made you sad. It didn’t simply make you sad, it hurt you. Johnny was like a drug to you. No actual drug could make you feel so high, as when you were around him. He was addictive and you couldn’t help but constantly want to be around him.
People have needs and have to fulfill them. Just like the need for food, people search for the best product that will fulfill it. If they can’t afford the best one, they turn to lower quality products that could at least fulfill a part of their needs. Similarly, you tried dating other people. But they were all low quality products. You will never feel fully satisfied unless you get the highest quality product. To you, Johnny was the highest quality product.
You could never see anyone other than him. To you, it was only him, him, him. He was always your priority. Over almost anyone else and if someone made you choose between him and another important to you person, you’d split yourself into two just to make sure you were there for the both of them. You just can’t put anyone over Johnny.
You were his priority too. One of his priorities at least. He would try to split himself in order to be there for you too. But… knowing that you’d still forgive him if he didn’t choose you, you’d probably tell him prioritize others over you. Prioritize those he was more afraid of losing. Because he wasn’t afraid of losing you. It’s not that he took you for granted, it’s just that he knew how much you cared for him.
But if he knew, wouldn’t he have realized that you had feelings for him by now? You don’t know if he chooses to ignore them for the sake of your friendship or because he is oblivious, but you believe that it was most likely that he ignored them. He probably knew that if he brought it up, it would ruin the dynamics of your friendship.
Because, let’s be honest, Johnny could never see you the way you see him. He is too perfect and you’re too average. So you decided it’s better to have him in your life as a friend than not have him at all and get rejected.
“Did you ever hear a thing of what I said?” Johnny joked and you finally stopped daydreaming. “No, I’m sorry I was deep in thought.” You said shaking your head.
“I figured,” he chuckled and took a good look at you, who was staring at the scenery in front of you.
“Hey, what’s on your mind?” he said and you waved a hand dismissively. “It’s nothing, what were you talking about?”
“No no, missy, we are gonna talk about this. Seriously, what’s on your mind?”
You sighed. You can’t tell him. You can’t tell him that all that has been in your mind was him. That it was you hoping you’d ever get to kiss his pretty pink lips. That you’ll one day be able to taste them. You can’t tell him that you’ve been thinking of the two of you together, him not seeing anyone other than you just like how you do for him.
Oh, how you wished you were the water bottle he held in his hand, slowly raising to his lips. When he offered you some, you refused, but then cursed at yourself for missing a chance of an indirect kiss. But it’s not like you two never share bottles, so you’ll have this chance again in the future.
You opt for the easy way out, telling him you’re just stressed about a few responsibilities you had to take care of, but that it will go away and that he has no reason to worry. He doesn’t seem to believe you, but he lets it go for the moment and you go back to your daydreaming as soon as he turns his gaze away from you.