Jongin Obsession - Tumblr Posts

Forbidden Memory

Pairing : Reader x Jongin

Genre: Angst

Word count: 1700~

—

Sitting at the back of Kai’s Harley, Soobin’s arms tighten around Kai’s waist with her head planted on his right shoulder as she looks farther away into the scenery of the brilliant red and orange sunset reflected on the waves of the wide ocean view. Setting her lids to a close, she straightens her head to parallel Kai’s as she slowly comes back to sight, being greeted with the sight of his eyes that gave her the world, his lips that brought butterflies to her stomach, and his scent that completely hypnotizes her. All before reality hits with the fact that this paradise will very soon come to an end. It was the sad truth for the both of them, that their love may never be approved by their families. Soobin is the eldest child of the Lee Empire. From the second she was born, her fate was to be the heir of LeeTech. Everything was set for her, from schools that she would attend all the way to the partner she would build her family with. Kai, on the other hand, is the youngest and only son to his family. Being the youngest and only son, his parents were lenient with the things he chose to do and the person he chose to become. He has it all on himself, except for one thing; his partner and lover.

Growing up, Kai looked up to his dad. Mr. Kim had started from being a mere employee at SK Motors and worked his way up to being the director of SK Motors. During his dad’s promotion dinner with the owner of SK Motors, he was introduced to their daughter, Jennie Kim. Ever since then, the 16-year-old Jennie set her eyes on the 18-year-old Kai whom she dreams to make her prince. It was after that night when Kai’s dad would start praising Jennie whenever he was around. At the age of 20, he was called by his parents and told that he was expected to wed Jennie when the time comes. He didn’t think it was fair at all because he didn’t feel the same way, so he rebelled. He turned himself into a reckless and immature young man in everybody’s eyes, which continued for years until one day a phone call arrived while he was at his hideout alone admiring the night sky. “Kai… come to MyungDam hospital…” his sister greeted him, evident in her voice that the reason behind that request was not something he’d ever want to hear. “Why?” he asked hesitantly, attempting to sound carefree in the midst of his fear. “Dad has been diagnosed with lung cancer.” His ears and heart went numb.

Nothing was ever the same again. Ever since then, Kai had always tried to stay by his dad’s side, trying to redeem himself for all the things that he’s done. One night, his dad held onto his hand while laying down on the hospital bed. At the sound of his weakening voice, it took everything he had to try to stop the sadness from showing and the tears from running. “Kai… my one and only son…Dad wants to make a wish. Will you help me achieve it?” Kai stays quiet trying to calm himself down by looking away from his dad’s eyes. “I wish that you would forgive me for the things that I have pressured you to do. Dad just wants you to find your own happiness. Forget who you marry, who you become. I believe in you, that you will make the right decisions for yourself and the family. You already bring so much joy into our family and that’s all we want from you. Please also help dad take care of your mom and your sisters, okay? Please let them know not to be too sad.” His dad finished with a tear running down the sides of his face.

At the age of 24, Kai’s dad was pronounced dead. Kai had stuck many of his dad’s life lessons and teachings in his head, but he felt guilty for not being able to accomplish the one and only thing his dad wanted him to do. So he promised himself that he would try his best to make himself fall in love with Jennie Kim. However, nothing ever goes smoothly in life, especially when he met Soobin , his ride or die. The two simply met during a meet up with their respective friend groups. But things started to go better and hotter until they decided to become a hidden item due to the circumstances set upon them.

For the past 2 years, the pair have gone on several secret dates. Soobin would sneak out of her home right before the dark hours of night, only to be greeted with the man in leather jacket waiting on his Harley. It became a routinely rebellious hangout that happened every week and today was no different. Getting off the Harley, Soobin felt entranced at the sight of the dimly lit structure standing in front of her. She’d always go to parties and events at the most exclusive destinations and often times, she would get sick of them and needed a break. And the sight right here, with the love of her life now standing in front of her with his hands up and above as if showing off the place, was the perfect break she could ever ask for. In fact, perfect would be an understatement.

A smile now plastered her face and Kai would swear that the look on Soobin’s face gave him the world. He ran straight up to her with his arms sneaking their way around her petite waist, spinning her around like a child. Setting her down, their bodies kept in contact, but their eyes were inches apart, their lips were centimeters apart, and their souls were completely full of the each other’s presence. Kai kissed the lips that were of an ant’s distance, which only caused a surge of fireworks throughout his body. Soobin pulled away with cheeks red as beet, as she turned around, detaching herself from him, before running away in embarrassment. Kai ran around trying to catch her as he joked around in laughter. Soobin grew tired of roaming around in laughter and before she knew it, Kai pulled her in with her back against his as if in fear of losing her. He spun her around and carried her to sit on top of the railing with his hands as the barrier for her back. The two went for another peck on the lips before going in.

--

After settling down in the room after goofing around, the two jumped to the bed. Soobin scooched to Kai’s arm that was waiting to be occupied. Her fingers traced the tattoos that were peeking behind his shirt. She trailed down her finger beyond his shirt in attempt to draw out the full picture, only seeming to be a tickle for Kai. With their laughter turning dimmer and dimmer, with now only their calming breaths filling in the empty space, Soobin confessed, “I wish this could go on for forever”.

“You’re not the only one.” Kai answered with his face tilting to look at her with a shy smile.  

Then, came the silence that was no other than the consequence of their love.

“You know, being with you, here in this ‘in the middle of nowhere’ place… I feel different” She ended, moving her head to meet his sparkling eyes.

“Different how? Different bad? Different goo-“

“Different, ‘you make me feel amazing’ different” She said, eyes now meeting his. “Know that you will forever be a part of me, no matter what” She ended, tilting her head down shying away.

“A part of you? Why not be a part and beside you?” Kai questioned, confusion evident in his voice.

“You have a duty that you owe.” She reminded.

“Why is that a problem? I can achieve both my duty to my family and to myself at the same time.” His voice argues.

Rising to a sit, Soobin moved farther from Kai and off the bed. “Kai, you can’t possibly pursue me and have Jennie too. I know how much your duty to your father means to you and so do I to my family. We can never get our own happily ever after.”

“What do you mean ‘have Jennie? Look I still stick by my principles and duties but satisfying my family’s duty doesn’t mean I have to be by her side forever. We’re good friends and that’s all. Nothing more, nothing less. And about our families… with time, it’ll all work out. I know it. I believe in us, Soobin .” his words turning to whispers, moving off to close his distance with her.

Soobin knew better than anyone that her and Kai would never be able to be. She had her duty to her family, but there was a bigger part of her that wanted to just drop everything and run away with him.

Shaking her head, Soobin cuts her gaze with him and rushes away and farther. “No. No Kai! It doesn’t work like that. She and you have been connected longer than I have with you and we both know that she likes, if not, love you. I’m not going to be the one sitting here as your hidden partner with her going around you all day. And I won’t make you one either. I, too, have a duty to my own family, generations worth of hard work and success I have to continue… besides, my parents invited the son of BC Industries to come over this weekend.” She claimed, eyes away with a voice now stern and fierce but with a heart that pierced and teared.

One second and the silence saturated the space between them. Soobin finally takes a turn to him with quiet tears running down her face. She moved closer to the man in front of her and placed her right hand over his left cheek as if framing it in attempt to remember his face that she has been loving with all her might. However, it only only caused both of their sights to flood in sadness and despair, leading them both to heavy tears.

“… So will you be with him? Won’t you fight for us?” Kai interrogates weakly, evident that he could break down any moment. “Forget about me. Please…” she pleaded, now with heavy tears exposing her sadness.

“We should go…” Soobin said snapping herself out of the moment as she turns around and grabs her belonging. She proceeded to open the door about to leave the room only to feel a sudden rush of the wind, of his figure to be exactly behind her. "I'm sorry I'm the reason behind your tears" he apologized in a whisper to her Soobin that sent a rush down through her body. His teardrop fell onto her clothed shoulder and she could feel her heart being crushed into a million pieces, but she closed her eyes and took a deep breath before opening them up with her chin up before walking out.

--

A week has gone by and Soobin never heard from Kai ever since that night but it felt like a year has gone by. She would count the stars out the window in the midst of her room’s darkness and wonder about Kai’s whereabouts. “Is he happy? Is he lonely? Is he having a good time with Jennie? Has he forgotten about me?” she wondered inside her head, leaving her heart to break into million pieces.

“Soobin-ah, you got a package! A big box!” Soobin’s mom informed from the living room. “Coming!” replied Soobin before she sighs as if exhaling her crowded head.

Rushing downstairs, she was greeted with a big green box with a pastel pink ribbon around it. “Do you know who sent it?” Her mom asking in curiosity but also worry with her prior knowledge of her daughter being involved with Kai.

Soobin reaches out to hold the cover of the box and lifted it open to be greeted with the most beautiful blue roses that were aligned perfectly full. She knew who sent it, why he sent it, but she hated it because this has just made her fall deeper into love with Kim Jongin. She felt an envelope on the back of the cover and proceeded to detach it. She took the folded piece of paper and read the note stuck onto it, “When you smile, I shine together with you. When you cry, I break together with you. I’m sorry I’ve let you down. Give me a chance to let you know that I love you, only you. <3” In that moment, Soobin didn’t care whether her family said no, or if her head insisted it. She knew at that very second that she would fight for what made her truly happy.