Jun62011 - Tumblr Posts

i hate that i want this!

feeling like this makes me wanna ask myself why i am being like this.... so weird! i can't even explain what im feeling. sometimes im laughing as if nothing is wrong. sometimes i cry with no reason at all. hahaha am i going crazy?

i can't even understand my own self. is that why i still don't have any connection with other people? am i too weird? am i too obvious? am i that hard to befriend with? all i want is to have some connections. coz i know after this i'll get into a better understanding with the people around me.

it's hard going through all of these by yourself, you know... i wish i have a friend i can talk to and share what i'm feeling right now. without feeling uncomfortable. without hesitating.  without the feeling of being laughed at for being too childish and immature. 

i hate that i don't have that kind of friend. i hate that i don't have the confidence to talk about what my true feelings are even to family members and close friends. i hate that i am like this.

but i can't blame myself. i don't want to be laughed at. i don't want to be misunderstood. i don't want to be called weak. i don't want to feel like they pity me for  being like this.

i want sympathy. i want love. i want care. i want understanding. i want honesty. i want peace. i want to know that they will accept me for who i am and respect me. i want them to know why i am like this. i want to tell them that i need their help, their guidance, their love.