Just Personally I Dont Understand Why You Wouldnt Talk To The Person Directly Instead Of Needing To Change Your Whole Theme - Tumblr Posts

Hey guys!

I don’t think I’ve ever made a post like this before but unfortunately someone has forced my hand to do so. I really wanted my next post to be a new fic but it looks like it’ll have to wait until I address this.

I don’t like having issues with people especially if the issues aren’t even on my own issues— even more so in a space that I created for fun.

As some of you guys may know, I recently made a public server called Boba Pop. Anyone is free to join as long as you’re 18+ and enjoy anime men’s penis an almost grotesque amount. But that’s neither here nor there!

There was an issue that arose today between two members in my server over a theme divider. User @/sluttsumu and user @/miguelism are the parties involved.

Unfortunately, Stella felt as though Kierra stole her theme. I completely understand how frustrating that feeling is because I’ve had it done to me in the past. It especially puts salt in the wound because I used to really put hours into editing videos, banners, and gifs for my layouts. So, I can emphasize how it could feel.

I should also preface that in my server’s rules, it states to keep any drama at bay. More specifically, stating keep any issues in private conversations, limited but not limited to speaking to said person or a mod!

My server has an “open door” policy meaning if anyone feels unsafe, or like they’re being bullied/attacked, or then threatened/harassed, not hesitate to come to a mod if you aren’t sure how to approach the situation or even if you’re not much of a confrontational person and need one of us to break the ice. Communication is highly encouraged for better relationships and a more open atmosphere for the server.

It becomes an issue when there’s a lack of communication, on top of taking an issue that could certainly be handled privately, to tumblr. A platform that isn’t the safest for things like discourse and silly little online drama because of how easily accessible anonymity is, and the thousands of eyes that could potentially see said private situation between two people.

Stella did that exact thing and unfortunately, someone was uncomfortable with the situation.

The situation goes as follows:

Kierra mentioned Stella, letting her know that her theme was beautiful. Then said she hoped she didn’t mind that she used the glitter header she was currently using.

Stella said that it was fine.

Stella said that she noticed Kierra “also” took inspiration from the heart gif header she was using.

Kierra let's Stella know that she’s been using that header for years. (Since 2021.)

Stella acknowledges this and Kierra says that pink themes are very popular.

That’s not the issue, the issue is when someone takes to tumblr to sub post about the situation instead of speaking to the person you have an issue with like an adult or even speaking to someone on the mod team. That then makes said person feel uncomfortable and like they’re feeling attacked in the space, making them turn to a mod for advice on how to navigate the situation.

If you were uncomfortable at any point within the situation, you could’ve either reached out to the person you have this issue with or a mod so there wouldn’t be any communication issues. No one can read your mind on how you’re feeling unless it is said directly to someone. You acknowledged Kierra and you moved on, realistically, how is that person supposed to know how you feel? The mods and myself really encourage open communication so there aren’t any misunderstandings.

Making private situations public without the person you have an issue with aware of said issue, is not the way to go about things no matter how you look at things.

Can you imagine speaking to someone you believe is a friend then going online to see them sub posting about you in a negative light, being incredibly passive aggressive? I would really believe that anyone would be at a loss.

All this is to say, I was spoken to by my mod team who analyzed the situation (I was working) after it was brought up to them. To which, I then spoke to Stella about it to be the middleman.

I’ll attach the screenshots of our conversation so nothing is lost in translation.

I don’t appreciate and I will not accept being called out of my name for doing my job as an admin. I was very polite, respectful and tried my best to navigate the situation.

Stella, there weren’t any “bad” vibes. You were genuinely such a pleasure to speak to and interact with. You’re extremely funny and I found so many of the members in the server laughing at the jokes you would crack. And even being some of the first to read the works you would post in the promotions channel. You were welcomed and celebrated, as everyone is in Boba Pop.

This isn’t about “big blogs” and whatnot either. You want to avoid discourse but again, you take to tumblr to make this situation even bigger than it needed to be instead of communicating like an adult.

You were not ganged up on either. You were only spoken to by myself (the admin) then Kierra (the person you actually have the issue with). You said that I “blamed” you but there was no blaming. I came to you as an administrator with an ongoing issue that dealt with you and another member because my mod team notified me of the situation.

Your behaviors online do have consequences, as all of ours do. This situation could have absolutely been avoided but instead you took to playing victim on tumblr and spreading a false narrative that favors yourself.

I really do wish you the best but you don’t get to bad mouth me online, indirectly or directly, and expect me not to address the situation.