Kimjungwoo - Tumblr Posts

Im gonna need you to let me hold your hand. asap, as soon as possible. or else, I’ll lose it

to be better.

get up from his bed, dress yourself and leave, you have to. he will be happy without you. you will be okay without him, happiness will bloom for you, smile will rise upon your face, tears will dry out and love will finally walk in, if possible.

you will be okay. so, will he.

you have to leave, you are not what he needs, the more you stay, the more darkness will cloud him: your darkness. you are not healthy for them, hell, you are not healthy for yourself. he deserves better.

getting up on your feet, you gathered all your tossed clothes, “leaving again?” jungwoo blankly spoke up which frighten you, unaware with the fact that he has woken up; jungwoo and you have been in this position multiple times: landing on the bed with arms never leaving each other’s body, lips never parting away from one another then the after-party of you shaking yourself out from his grip and the bittersweet feeling of the empty space next to him.

jungwoo never utters a word about it, never questions you about why do you leave him cold every morning. however, he did not need a reason from you since your actions spoke more than you ever did, “can’t you stay? just once?” he pleaded, eyes still sleepy, stretching his arms to reach out for you.

your heart was begging you to feel loved by someone for once, that it is okay to be held, to be vulnerable with someone yet your mind was demanding you to leave, you do not deserve the love he is willing to give and you only destroy people who tries to come close to you. but; what you wanted was to be okay, to smile with no baggage of feelings burdening your heart and your mind. so you chose,

“leave me some space, will you?” you chuckled, dropping your gathered clothes and settled down beside him, tilting your head with the support of your palm to look at him more clearly as he stared back at you with emotions too much to handle, you did not deserve this. “why are you not sleeping? you got class today, don’t you?” you played with the fringe of his hair on his forehead, pushing it aside, a fresh look, you assumed.

“im just,-” he sighed, leaning towards you, nuzzling his face on the nape of your shoulder, “scared that you will not be here when i wake up.” he softly spoke, the moment was too odd, too unusual for you but for him, it felt love blooming in all corners of his heart, he felt happy.

this was not the plan you had when you first decided to spend a night with him. one day started to turned into several days, then, came a wave of emotions that you have no idea of controlling: emotions that should have never been there at the first place. such a pity party for you. “close your eyes.” you covered his eyes, which he attempted to remove from his face. he had no idea of the emotions you were battling with but neither did you.

you leaned towards his face, slowly caressing his cheeks, “you are so beautiful,” you mumbled, your eyes did not stop admiring him. sometimes, just sometimes, you wish you were better, you wish you were not like this.

you just wanted to be happy.

“i am so sorry, baby. sleep well.” you kissed his cheeks as he dozed off.

you chose, to walk away.

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