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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 40 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 3.4k

warnings: implied smut, 

Chapter 40: He Loves Me And Only Me

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As the reality of the situation began to truly sink in over the course of the next few days, you continued to draw strength from Tae and his quiet confidence. You tried your best to focus solely on your relationship and the things you could control and his unwavering love and support made that infinitely easier. The anxiety you’d felt the night of the meeting abated with each passing day, but it did not leave you entirely. Instead, it remained ever-present in the back of your mind, quietly simmering away. You decided that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, though; fear was a useful tool if it motivated you to keep yourself and those you love safe from harm.

Tae and Jisoo’s meeting with Bang PD went fairly well. Jisoo was apparently quite the actress, pouring on the charm and easily slipping into ‘girlfriend mode’ as she and Tae explained how they started dating over the summer while they were working on the song. Bang PD seemed to buy their story, however, after Jisoo left the room he did spend a few minutes talking to Tae privately. He admitted that he was a bit surprised they were dating given that they were so different and also because things had seemed a little tense while they were working together. For a split second, Tae thought he sensed the tiniest bit of skepticism from Bang PD, but then it was gone. Bang PD ended their talk by reiterating that Big Hit would always be there for Tae and saying that his door would always be open if he ever needed to talk about anything.  

There were still a couple more meetings that Tae and Jisoo needed to have with management later that week so it was decided that they would officially announce their ‘relationship’ the following Monday. To brighten the mood in the meantime, Tae suggested that you two spend the next few days getting you officially moved in. The two of you made a couple trips to your old apartment to gather your things, getting slightly sidetracked from your packing during the first visit after you jokingly mentioned your bed had never seen any action. Every time you went there you were terrified that someone was going to recognize Tae, but he wore a giant beanie, a facemask, and a jacket with the collar popped so he thankfully went unnoticed.

Once the last of your things were brought over, Tae surprised you by telling you he had his lease amended to have your name on it. This meant that you no longer needed to check-in as a guest, but instead could come right in as a permanent resident. It was such an incredibly thoughtful gesture, one that reiterated how serious he was about you and your relationship and instantly brought happy tears to your eyes.

Before he and Jisoo started acting like a couple around Big Hit next week, Tae decided he wanted to tell the other guys the truth about your relationship and the fake dating cover. The Saturday after the meeting with Bang PD, Tae invited all the guys over for what he told them was going to be a ‘guy’s night’. After they’d arrived, he gathered them all in the living room and then announced that there would be a surprise guest that evening. In response to the inquiries as to who the guest was, Tae excitedly responded that his girlfriend would be joining them, the giddiness in his voice making your heart swell. When he finally brought you out from the bedroom into the living room, you were met with such an abundance of love and joy that you thought your heart would surely burst.

Jungkook sat stock still, his eyes wide as saucers, as he kept repeating, ‘Noona?! Noona is Jagi?!’

Jin initially deadpanned and said, ‘Taehyuuuuung, you’re always breaking the rules’, but then immediately broke out into a massive grin.

Hobi jumped to his feet, clapping happily as he shouted, ‘Congratulations’.

Yoongi first just stared at the two of you with his classic gummy smile before ultimately saying, ‘It’s about time’.

Jimin and Namjoon obviously already knew, a fact which the other four guys claimed was woefully unfair.

Before opening the floor to questions about your relationship, questions which you could tell they were all itching to ask, Tae informed them about the meeting with Bang PD and the plan with Jisoo. The conversation understandably became pretty heavy at that point, the guys' faces all growing very serious as they realized how much the two of you had been through over the last couple days and how much of an uphill battle it would be moving forward. When Tae finished explaining everything, each and every one of them vowed to help you two in whatever way they could, causing both you and Tae to grow misty-eyed.

After that things lightened up considerably and the eight of you spent the rest of the evening eating and drinking and talking and laughing. The guys had insisted that you and Tae sit together on the loveseat which you were more than amenable to. Sitting between his legs, your back against his chest with his strong arms wrapped around your waist, you felt safe and secure and happy all night, but never so much as when he whispered in your ear, ‘They love you, Jagi, but I love you more’.

Your favorite part of the night was when the guys all took turns recounting the first time they realized Tae had a crush on you. Tae was bright red the entire time and kept burying his face in your hair out of embarrassment. For Yoongi, it was the time he had harmlessly asked if you were single and Tae had ignored the actual question entirely and instead curtly replied, ‘You’re not allowed to date her.’. For Hobi, it was when he commented that you looked really good in your dress at last year’s Big Hit banquet and Tae grumbled back something along the lines of, ‘You shouldn’t be looking at her like that’, and then proceeded to give the older man death-glares the rest of the evening.

Tae’s slight possessiveness was a huge turn on for you so hearing the guys go on and on about how he’d obviously felt you were his girl all along definitely had you feeling some kind of way by the end of the night. He’d clearly been affected by the conversation too because the moment the last of the guys left he picked you up and carried you into the bedroom. After slowly removing your clothes one by one, his lips mapping every single inch of newly exposed skin as he went, he then spent the rest of the night making sure you knew exactly who you belonged to.

The atmosphere in the apartment was much more somber the following day. Knowing that things were undoubtedly about to get rather difficult and complicated, you tried to soak up every last second of peace and simplicity while you still could. You and Tae spent the entire day in your pajamas watching TV, eating junk food and takeout, and kissing, cuddling, and making love. Unfortunately, more than a few tears were shed throughout the day. You tried to hold them in, but you just couldn’t help it; you were on the brink of something big and unknown and you were nervous. Although he was clearly trying to be strong for you, it was obvious that Tae was nervous too. He held you to him so tightly that night as you fell asleep, like he was afraid if he loosened his hold even just a little you would somehow slip away from him and be lost forever.  

~~~

The following morning, news that Tae and Jisoo were dating spread like wildfire at Big Hit as they walked in from the parking garage holding hands. You couldn’t deny that watching them stroll into the studio together, talking and laughing about who knows what, caused a sharp pang in your chest. You knew, of course, that it wasn’t real, that Tae was using his impressive acting skills to put on a rather convincing show. Regardless, the image of him with another woman was still painful and you had to excuse yourself momentarily to take a breath and get a grip in the hallway.

When you came back in you found Tae in his chair and Jisoo curled up in the chair beside him. Instantly, your mind flooded with memories from the summer when you would walk into the studio and find this very same sight before you. It had been excruciating to see them together like that at the time, but back then you didn’t know that he loved you. Now you did. You had been reminded that morning when he made love to you and when he said it to you after giving you a goodbye kiss at the door. You were reminded again just then as you looked down at your hand and gazed at the beautiful ring he’d given you.

He loves me and only me

Like a mantra, you repeated those words to yourself as you walked over to them with a bright smile on your face, carefully avoiding Tae’s sad eyes which followed you the entire way. You repeated them over and over again that morning and every time from then on when you saw or even imagined them together.

That first week was hard, much harder than you thought it was going to be, and also much harder than you let on when you talked to Tae. He spoke freely about how uncomfortable it all made him and how much he missed you and how he couldn’t wait until it was all over. It was both comforting and distressing to know that he was hurting just as much as you were, but you kept your feelings in check when talking with him. He clearly felt guilty about the whole situation; letting him know how heartbroken you felt every time you saw them together and making him feel even worse wouldn’t help the situation at all. You reminded yourself that he was doing this for you and that the best way you could repay him was to be strong and supportive.

For the most part, Jisoo adhered to the PDA rules that you all had discussed at the meeting. She was a little more touchy and clingy that first day than you would have liked, but you supposed that was how someone might act when showing off their new ‘boyfriend’ to coworkers so you let it slide. Tae did not engage much with her in return which you greatly appreciated. It was one thing to see her putting her hands on him, but watching him put his hands on her, the same hands that held you close and touched you intimately, was infinitely worse.    

However, as much as it hurt to see them giving physical signs of affection, it was actually their words that you found cut mostly deeply. You were able to block out most of what Jisoo said, having gotten used to doing just that over the summer when she would barge into the studio and steal Tae’s ear for hours at a time. Hearing him speak to her, though, occasionally in that soft, loving tone that was only supposed to be reserved for you, was legitimately painful. Every word he said was like a dagger in your heart, but nothing hurt near as much as the first time you heard him call her ‘Jagi’.

By Friday afternoon you were emotionally exhausted, having discovered that keeping everything bottled up was far more taxing than simply letting it out. You were very much looking forward to the weekend and being able to spend 48 Jisoo-free hours with your boyfriend. Almost done packing up your bag, you were just about to head out for the day when Eunji and Donghae stopped by your station. As Tae’s stylist and close friend, it shouldn’t have surprised you that people would eventually come to you asking questions, but it did and you were therefore completely unprepared for what they came to say.

“OK, what the fuck?” Eunji huffed out to start the conversation. “Why is Tae dating her?”

“Did you know?” Donghae quickly added, sounding equally repulsed. “You guys are so close. He must have told you, right?”

You had been rummaging around on the counter looking for something when they walked over and were immensely grateful that they could not see your face at that very moment. For starters, it stung to hear the words ‘he’s dating her’, even though you knew they weren’t true, and a grimace had involuntarily flashed across your face in response. However, the panicked expression you now certainly wore was what you really didn’t want them to see. The absolute last thing you wanted to be talking about right now was the fake relationship your boyfriend was in with a woman you despised, didn’t fully trust, and were growing more and more jealous of every day.

“I actually didn’t know,” you replied back casually, keeping your back to them as you spoke. “I found out Monday morning along with everyone else.”

“Surely he doesn’t actually like her,” Donghae then said, his tone dripping with disdain. “She’s literally the worst human being I’ve ever met.”

“Maybe he’s just in it for the sex?” Eunji questioned bluntly in reply. “I know he doesn’t really seem the type, but he is still a guy and she is unfortunately very hot.”

Upon hearing those words, your heart momentarily stopped. You could feel the heat rising to your face as you willed yourself not to imagine what Eunji had just spoken of. Watching Jisoo give Tae a kiss on the cheek that morning had been enough to make your stomach lurch so the idea of them being legitimately intimate together was truly nauseating. All at once you realized this was not a conversation you were emotionally capable of handling right now, but you didn’t know how to get them to drop it without causing some sort of scene.

With every passing second that you didn’t respond to them, the anxiety inside you grew. You tried and tried to formulate some sort of coherent, nonchalant response, but every ounce of your mental bandwidth was consumed with efforts of blocking out disturbingly explicit images of Tae and Jisoo together. You had honestly spent all week trying not to let your mind wander in this torturous sort of way, but Eunji’s words had clearly triggered something within you and you now found yourself wholly incapable of getting it back under control.

The undeniable truth was that Jisoo was an incredibly attractive woman. She was tall and thin and strikingly beautiful, effortlessly sexy and incredibly alluring. She was, as she had so poignantly noted that day in the elevator, everything you were not. And now, for perhaps the hundredth time since this whole thing started, you found yourself wondering exactly how attractive Tae thought she was.

You knew it was not at all healthy or productive to let yourself contemplate such things, especially when Tae had given you absolutely no reason to doubt him, but you just couldn’t help it. The idea that he might find her more attractive, might secretly wish he could be intimate with her instead of you, crept into your mind and instantly threatened to overwhelm you entirely. Your heart was now starting to race and your breath was growing shallower by the second, but the sudden sound of heeled-footsteps coming towards you thankfully stopped your spiraling.

“Eunji, Donghae,” you heard Mrs. Choi say sharply as she strode over to the three of you. “That is quite enough.”

“I will not tolerate this kind of gossip in my studio,” she continued, rather threateningly. “Do you understand?”

“Yes, Mrs. Choi,” they both muttered out sheepishly.

As the two of them said their goodbyes, you gave a quick wave in reply, still incapable of forming words. Closing your eyes, you stood there for a few moments and took a couple slow, deep breaths to try and calm down. Eventually, whatever terrible thing had just welled up inside of you receded and you felt yourself relax.

“Y/N, are you OK?” you heard Mrs. Choi ask gently from behind you.

The tender tone of her voice would have surprised you, possibly even frightened you, had it not been for the meeting you’d had with her last month following the incident with the coffee at the photoshoot. The two of you had met in her office one afternoon that following week where she proceeded to again sincerely apologize for being so hard on you over the last three years. At first you couldn’t help but wonder if she was only being nice to you because she knew about your mom, but as the conversation went on you got the sense there was more to it than that.

She said more than once that she had ‘gotten things wrong’ and even said that she was proud of the support you’ve shown BTS, and Tae specifically, over the years. Since then, there had been a noticeable change in her behavior towards you. She was kinder, more patient, and, dare you say it, even somewhat affectionate. The fact that she sent you home last week when she saw you were upset was proof enough of your changed relationship; she never would have allowed that in the past.

“Yea, I-I’m fine,” you replied, trying to hide the shakiness in your voice.

With the panic that had previously threatened to overwhelm you now gone, the only emotion that seemed to be left inside you was the one you had spent all week trying to ignore: heartbreak. Despite your new and improved relationship with Mrs. Choi, you were not quite ready to bare the depths of your soul to her. However, you feared if you stayed here much longer and she spoke to you again in that incredibly caring, almost motherly voice, you might do just that. Quickly collecting the remainder of your things and stuffing them into your bag, you said goodbye, wished her a pleasant weekend, and then left.

On the drive home you convinced yourself that what happened at the studio was not a big deal. You’d gotten upset because Eunji had unknowingly said something insensitive and inappropriate to you, but that was a completely normal reaction. When you arrived at home a bit later to find Tae had somehow snuck out of work early so he could have a candlelight dinner prepared, you were reminded of just how silly it was to worry about him and Jisoo. Yes, she was an attractive woman, but he was your boyfriend. He loved and desired you.

“What’s all this for?” you asked with a smile as you looked over the beautifully laid table.

“Because I love you,” he said as he came over and snuck his arms around your waist, pulling you in for a kiss.

Still wound up from Eunji’s words, and perhaps feeling the need to prove something to yourself, you took the innocent kiss he gave you and deepened it, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing your body against his. He responded immediately, licking into your mouth messily and teasing you with gentle bites to your lower lip as he slowly backed you against the nearest counter. You kissed him hungrily and greedily, relishing the low groans you drew from him, and only released his lips when you were forced to come up for air.

“By any chance does this meal come with dessert?” you asked coyly, walking your fingers up the buttons of his shirt until they reached the tantalizing bit of exposed chest.

“Of course,” he replied smoothly, his voice dropping into his incredibly sexy lower register. “I’ll always keep your sweet tooth satisfied, Jagi.”

The way he began trailing kisses down your jawline to your neck told you he knew exactly what type of dessert you were inquiring about.

“What if I want my dessert before dinner?” you then questioned, your voice breathy from the wicked things he was doing with that pretty mouth of his.

“Then I’ll give it to you right here, right now,” he whispered in your ear.

As he picked you up, set you down on the counter, and began serving you the sweet, sinful treats you desperately craved, you heard familiar words ringing in your head, ones that you hoped were loud enough to drown out everything else:

He loves me and only me

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Chapters 38, 39, & 40 Update!

I am happy to report that chapters 38, 39, and 40 are now updated and much more in-line with how I always envisioned them. A lot of the original writing was carried over, but there are significant changes/additions to each chapter. 

I want to say thank you so much to everyone who reached out with kind and encouraging words when I announced I’d be updating things. Your support means so much to me 💜

Chapter 38: House Of Cards

Chapter 39: Unfounded Fears 

Chapter 40: He Loves Me And Only Me 

Too Good To Be True - Ch. 41 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 4.0k

warnings: cursing, implied smut, anxiety

Chapter 41: Divergence

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Over the next few weeks, you felt your life diverging at an alarmingly fast rate in two very different directions: one towards bliss, the other towards chaos. You were well aware that the resulting strain on your emotional wellbeing was not sustainable, but the knowledge that the suffering was temporary allowed you to ignore warnings you otherwise might have heeded. It would all be over soon, you told yourself. You just had to push through and hold on a little longer.

Inside the apartment, where it was just you and Tae, life was nothing short of a fairytale. He was all you had ever hoped for in a partner and more and you were grateful every morning you woke up in his warm embrace. With the threat of being found out no longer looming quite so large, you were able to finally slow down, catch your breath, and let yourselves relax. You fell into a comfortable daily routine, made legitimate plans for the future, and started actually building your life together as a couple.

Now that you were officially moved in, and the apartment was truly your home, you updated your address for important things like your credit card and phone bill. Tae actually gave you a credit card to one of his own personal spending accounts which you initially refused, but ultimately accepted once he explained he wanted you to have it in case of an emergency. He didn’t say what the limit on the card was nor did you ask; you weren’t sure you wanted to know. He also insisted that you have him listed in your phone as your emergency contact, stating that being there for you if anything ever happened was more important than keeping your secret. You agreed, finding his suggestion both incredibly sweet and also highly practical, and told him to put you down as his emergency contact too.

Another big step you took was finally telling your Dad that you and Tae were together. He seemed genuinely happy for you and supportive of your relationship, however, he did ask that you put Tae on the phone after you finished talking. Tae ended up talking to your Dad for almost an hour, about what he would not say, but he said he enjoyed the conversation and that he was looking forward to meeting him in person.

You unofficially ‘met’ Tae's parents too via FaceTime. You were incredibly nervous at first, but upon realizing they were literally the sweetest humans imaginable, you instantly relaxed. You made plans for both of your families to come visit next month once things were back to normal and before award show season began in early December. You also made plans for the holidays; Tae would spend Christmas with your family in Busan and you would spend Tae’s birthday and New Years with his family in Daegu.

Every day you learned something new about Tae, discovered another one of his adorable quirks that added another brushstroke onto the canvas of your love for him. In return, you shared more and more about yourself, telling him things you had always sworn you would never tell another person as long as you lived. Opening up to him just came so naturally. With him you knew there would never be any judgement; only love and acceptance.

Tae spoke about the future with a certainty and a confidence that some people might have found surprising or even frightening after only dating for two months, but you felt absolutely no apprehension at his words. Every hope and dream he shared was one you had long held deep in your heart. Hearing him speak them aloud confirmed what you already knew to be true: he was the love of your life.

One night, when you were snuggling on the couch watching a movie, the scene panned to an absolutely stunning house in the countryside. Having always dreamed of living in a house like that, you instantly found yourself swooning, going on and on about how perfect it was.

“I’ll buy you a house just like that, Jagi,” Tae said happily, hugging you to him as he spoke.

“Tae, you can’t just buy me a house,” you said with a laugh, realizing he probably could buy a house just like that tomorrow if he wanted to and pay in cash too.

“But I want to,” he said with a pout that you could just hear in his voice. “Not right now, of course, but someday I’ll buy us our first house.”

Realizing he wasn’t joking, but was seriously talking about your future home together, you immediately stopped laughing.

“It will be beautiful and elegant, but also cozy and welcoming,” he went on dreamily.

“It will also be quite spacious...with a big yard to play in...and a lot of bedrooms,” he then added a bit nervously, giving your shoulder a little kiss.

At his words, you felt a blush creep onto your cheeks as the good kind of goosebumps prickled up all over your body. You knew he wasn’t really talking about bedrooms right now, rather, he was talking about who might be inhabiting said bedrooms. In all the times you two had talked about the future, this was the first time this particular subject had come up, albeit cryptically. You couldn’t deny how unbelievably happy it made you to know he felt this way, that he saw this kind of future with you.

“A lot of bedrooms, huh?” you mused as you turned around to face him, a shy smile on your face. “How many is a lot?”

“Three or four,” he said bashfully, a light tinge of pink on his own cheeks. “Maybe five.”

“But,” he then added softly, “I only want one pink bedroom.”

“And who will live in this pink bedroom?” you asked shyly, biting your lower lip to try and contain your grin.

“A little princess,” he said quietly, kissing your cheek. “Who looks just like you.”

For a second you just looked at him, your heart beating erratically in your chest as you imagined the wonderful things he had just described.

“Do you really mean that?” you then questioned hesitantly.

“Jagi, I meant it when I said I wanted to spend the rest of my life loving you,” he replied sincerely as he reached down and took your hand.

“I want to marry you and have a family with you someday,” he then said, his voice soft, but unwavering, as he looked at you with the most tender, loving expression.

At that, your smile grew impossibly wide, as did his, and for a few moments you just stared into each other’s eyes, completely lost in the moment which you decided was one of the happiest of your life.

“I want that, too,” you finally said back before connecting your lips with his for a truly blissful kiss.

Your kissing remained sweet and innocent for a while until you eventually broke away and gave him your best smoldering stare.

“Five is a lot,” you said coyly. “We’ll have to be very efficient if we want that many.”

“We will,” he hummed in reply, placing kisses down your neck.

“Maybe we should practice,” you then teased.

“Yes,” he instantly agreed, rolling on top of you with a wolfish grin. “We should most definitely practice.”

Your physical intimacy blossomed right along with your emotional intimacy. Tae made love to you almost every day, oftentimes more than once. His passion and tenderness never waned and every time felt just as special as the night you’d first given yourselves to each other. The only days when he didn't make love to you were the days when he fucked you instead, the distinct difference between the two types of sex having become apparent the first time he told you to get on all fours for him and then took you from behind.

He was relentless and commanding when he fucked you, but always in the pursuit of your pleasure. The utter filth that left his mouth whenever he did so had you absolutely reeling; never in your life had you heard him speak so graphically, so possessively, but never in your life had you been more turned on from words alone. He was rough, but to just the right degree and only because you told him you liked it that way. He was always attentive, though, making sure you were comfortable with what he was doing and saying, asking if it felt good, if you wanted more, if you could handle more.

Fans of spontaneity, your sexual exploits were not limited to just the bedroom. Within two weeks of getting home from America, you two had christened every room in the apartment, including the master closet and the laundry room. More often than not things would start heating up as soon as you got home. You lost count of the number of times he had you pressed up against the apartment door seconds after you arrived because he said he just couldn’t wait a moment longer after wanting you all day.

How he had gone from inexperienced virgin to total sex god in just a few short weeks was beyond you, but you weren’t about to question it. You were more than happy to enjoy the benefits of his newfound sexual prowess as well as his equally spectacular aftercare. Following any kind of sex, whether it was passionate lovemaking in your bed or a dirty fuck on the kitchen counter, he always took the utmost care of you. He cleaned you, cuddled you, and showered you with love and affection until you were a blushing, mushy mess in his arms.

You cherished the time you spent alone with Tae where you could be together and just be yourselves. It was the only part of the day when you felt alive and relaxed and happy, the only time where you felt like everything was going to be OK. Knowing it was the only thing keeping your head above water, you went to great lengths to protect the tiny bit of paradise inside your shared home. Because outside of it, in the other part of your life which was hurtling in the opposite direction, everything was beginning to fall apart.

~~~

The first week had been hard, but bearable. The amount of heartbreak it caused you wasn’t lethal and with Tae there to help put the pieces back together, you were pretty sure you could make it out of this thing alive. But, like always, the moment you thought you had everything under control, the ground shifted beneath you.

It all started that very next Monday morning when you were in the studio getting Tae ready for a commercial the guys were going to be filming for a new sponsor. The two of you were up to your usual antics, joking and laughing and possibly causing a bit of a ruckus, when Jisoo came in and sat down next to Tae. She tried to insert herself into the conversation, but you two were in your own little world, talking a mile a minute and laughing hysterically as you recounted what happened during filming for the Bodyfriend massage chair commercial earlier that year.

While doing Tae’s hair and makeup before filming began that day, you may have made a couple slightly inappropriate jokes about Mrs. Choi needing a ‘body friend’ to help her relax. After leaving the prep room in stitches, Tae spent the next hour on set biting back more laughter and trying to keep it together. Partway through filming, Mrs. Choi of all people finally pulled Tae aside and asked him what was so funny which was, of course, the moment when he completely lost it.

He began laughing so hard he started crying which meant you had to come out and touch up his makeup. One look at his face, though, and you lost it as well. Deemed official ‘disturbers of the peace’, you were both then asked to leave the set and told to only come back once you could control yourselves. After locking yourselves in a break room and laughing uncontrollably for ten straight minutes, the giggles were finally out of your system and you were able to return to the set and finish the shoot.

Eventually, after experiencing a similar laughing fit, the two of you settled down and Jisoo commandeered the conversation, diving into a monologue about her upcoming solo album. The way she completely cut you out might have bothered you were it not for the silly, flirty glances Tae kept giving you through the mirror when he thought she wasn’t looking. He was maybe being a tad too brazen given she was right there, but you didn’t care; he was going out of his way to make sure you felt seen and loved which you appreciated so much.

An hour later, once his hair and makeup was all done, he got up to join the other guys on their way to the set. Hearing him say, ‘Bye Jagi’, to Jisoo and watching her give him a kiss on the cheek was still painful, but it hurt ever-so-slightly less than it did last week which you took as a good sign.

What wasn’t a good sign, though, was the fact that Jisoo hung around after he left. She spent a few minutes looking down at her phone while you started cleaning up your station, but eventually she broke the somewhat awkward silence.

“Y/N,” she said gently, low enough so that no one else could hear her. “I was just thinking it might be best for you to tone it down a bit.”

“Tone it down?” you asked, turning and giving her a confused look.

“Clearly everyone here has gotten used to how friendly you are with Tae,” she began tentatively before her expression grew more serious. “But, now that he’s ‘dating’ me, they might think your close relationship with him is a little bit inappropriate.”

For a few seconds you just stood there staring at her in stunned silence, completely taken aback by the audacity of her implication. Out of the seven member-stylist pairs, you and Tae were undoubtedly the closest, but that had never been a problem before. Yes, you two had been dating for almost two months, and had been secretly in love with each other for three years, but you had done a remarkable job at keeping things outwardly platonic. If your relationship had ever been perceived as inappropriate, surely you would have been fired for it by now.

You were more than a little peeved by her comments, and were about to say something snarky to her that you would probably later regret, but before you had the chance to respond she received a phone call. She then quickly excused herself from the room, leaving her words to hang over you like a dark cloud.

At first you were just angry, thinking she had some nerve trying to stir up trouble and control your relationship with Tae. As the day wore on, though, and you continued mulling over her words and the greater situation, you grew increasingly frustrated as you slowly began to realize she might not have been completely off base with her observation.

The questions that began running through your mind were ones you found legitimately painful to contemplate. If you and Tae were never together and he had actually started dating someone else, would you have acted differently towards him? Would you have joked around with him less? Been a bit less familiar with him? The answers, you begrudgingly admitted to yourself after an hour of sulking, were all yes.

Even though it would have killed you to do it, you would have put some distance between yourself and him out of respect for his girlfriend and their relationship. Obviously, his ‘relationship’ with Jisoo was a complete farce, but no one else knew that. If you wanted it to stay that way, you realized you needed to play your part in all this just like he was playing his. And that part, sadly, was of the best friend who gets replaced by the girlfriend.

That very next day you began pulling back from him while you were at work, a process, you decided, was akin to removing a limb. Not wanting to make him feel guilty that the fake dating cover was affecting yet another aspect of your relationship, you said that Mrs. Choi was the one who told you to tone it down. She had made similar comments to you in the past so it was believable that she would bring it up again, especially given how rowdy you two had been the day before. Regardless, Tae was still upset when you told him you two shouldn’t talk or joke as much while you were working and asked him not to stop by the studio anymore in the afternoons.

You were upset too, devastated even, though you tried not to let it show for his sake. Not having those little moments with him scattered throughout the day made you feel lonelier than ever and made it hard to focus on anything other than the jealousy and resentment that had begun seeping into your soul. It also left the door wide open for the stream of intrusive thoughts that had begun trickling into your mind at a steadily-growing rate.

Despite having had a wonderful time with Tae over the weekend, your conversation with Eunji and Donghae, along with the very unpleasant thoughts and visions that had accompanied it, crept back into your mind as soon as you returned to Big Hit. As you stood alone in the studio, watching Tae and Jisoo walk off hand-in-hand to go get lunch, you could not help but feel incredibly stressed, not to mention unbelievably foolish, for sending your boyfriend into the open arms of a woman who wasn’t just good-looking, but who openly flaunted those good looks.

You were used to seeing Jisoo dress provocatively on stage and during photoshoots, but the way she began dressing while at work was something else entirely. She wore low-cut shirts that revealed a ton of cleavage and cropped ones that exposed her perfectly toned midriff. She wore jeans that were skin-tight and low-waisted and sometimes shamelessly allowed a bit of her strappy, lacey underwear to show. She also wore skirts that absolutely broke the ‘five finger rule’ and seemed to occasionally forget how important it was for her to cross her legs when she was sitting down while wearing them.

Never once did you actually see Tae’s gaze wander somewhere it shouldn’t, but just because you weren’t catching it, didn’t mean it wasn’t ever happening. Like Eunji had so astutely noted, he was still a guy. You could personally attest to his fervent admiration of the female anatomy, could write a whole essay on what he loved most about it using delightfully filthy direct quotes. The shamelessness with which he admitted he appreciated your body, even when you were doing the most innocent of things like washing the dishes, had once delighted you and boosted your confidence sky-high. Now, though, it had you feeling more insecure than ever; how could he not notice Jisoo’s body when she was serving it up on a silver platter?

Upon realizing she was trying to taunt you, if not flat out seduce him, you found yourself constantly worrying about what went on when they were together somewhere other than your studio. Was he less careful then about where he let his gaze wander? If his gaze did wander, did his mind then follow suit? With you not there as a constant reminder that what he was doing with Jisoo wasn’t supposed to be real, would he ever momentarily forget and let himself indulge in the fantasy of what she was so clearly offering him?

The idea of sharing these insecurities with Tae crossed your mind on more than one occasion, but each time you decided against it at the last minute. Telling him you were worried he was secretly checking her out or fantasizing about her felt like one step below accusing him of cheating. After seeing how absolutely devastated he was when you merely had a dream that he cheated, you were terrified of hurting him again like that, especially when he had given you zero legitimate reasons to doubt him.

He wasn’t looking at her inappropriately. He was still barely touching her, only giving the bare minimum amount of attention and affection. He was still coming home to you every night and telling you and showing you how much he loved and desired you. He told you he wanted to marry you and have a family with you, for fucks sake. He was giving you everything, honestly, absolutely everything.

It should have been enough to keep the doubts and worries and insecurities from completely overwhelming you.

But it wasn’t.

~~~

By the end of the third week, you were nearing the end of your now very frayed and fragile rope. With you and Tae no longer even acting like friends at work, the last two weeks had been infinitely worse than the first, though you hadn’t told him just how awful they had been. You hadn’t told him how many times you cried in the bathroom after you watched them leave together. You hadn’t told him how you started hyperventilating after Eunji asked if you thought Tae and Jisoo ever fucked in her recording studio. You hadn’t told him how it absolutely shattered your heart that one time she casually put her hand on his thigh and he didn’t immediately ask her to move it. You also hadn’t told him that you started having terrible dreams again, albeit not ones intense enough to make you cry and therefore wake him up.

Regardless, he still saw how down you were that Friday night and vowed to spoil you all weekend to cheer you up and show you how much he loved you. He absolutely delivered on that promise, cooking you elaborate dinners, singing to you while you cuddled together, putting on your favorite movies, making you come more times than you could honestly count, telling you in a million different ways how beautiful and perfect and wonderful he thought you were.

By Sunday evening your emotional cup, which had been all but emptied during the previous week, was once again full. You were feeling ready, or as ready as you could ever be, to endure one more final draining week before this nightmare was over.

But, then the ground shifted again.

After doing your nightly routine, you walked out of the bathroom and found Tae sitting on the bed, his shoulders slumped as he stared down at his phone.

“Everything OK?” you asked, ever-so-slightly concerned given that he had been laughing just two minutes ago.

“I just got a text from Jisoo,” he said flatly as he continued looking down at the device.

A beat of silence passed as a shiver went up your spine. There was absolutely no good reason for her to be contacting him this late.

“What does she want?” you questioned quietly, trying to keep your voice even.

Instead of responding, he simply held out his phone. You walked over and took it from him, a pit forming in your stomach at the way his eyes remained fixed on the floor. Nervously, you looked down to see she had sent a series of screenshots from a conversation she had apparently had with her own stylist, Seung. Their conversation was long and incredibly scattered, but there were a few messages from her that stood out right away.

“Ngl, you guys look super awkward together.”

“Poor boy seems like he’s afraid of you lol.”

“How long did you say you’ve been dating?”

Below the screenshots were two messages from Jisoo directly that instantly had your breath hitching and your heart plummeting.

[Jisoo 9:45 PM[ PDA rules are killing us.

[Jisoo 9:47 PM] We need to up our game or we’re fucked.

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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 42 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 2.4k

warnings: despair, just utter despair

Chapter 42: Far Too Late

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For several minutes, neither of you spoke. The only sound you heard was that of your own rapidly increasing heartbeat. As you stood there, staring down at his phone, the words on the screen slowly blurring together until not a single letter was distinguishable from the next, the contentment you had been filled with just moments ago drained out of you. In its place arose the now all too familiar sense of dread which had been haunting you every moment of every day.

Seeing Tae and Jisoo together these last few weeks had been agonizing. Just watching him hold her hand and hearing him call her Jagi had left you curled up in a ball, sobbing on the floor of the bathroom, so the idea of them being even more affectionate with one another was truly horrifying. As your mind filled with awful images of all the ways Tae and Jisoo could ‘up their game’, you waited with bated breath for him to say something, anything to calm you down and assure you that your worst fears were not about to be realized. Eventually, his voice did cut through the silence, but it was with the absolute last words you wanted to hear.

“She’s right,” he said quietly, his eyes still downcast.

“I am awkward and uncomfortable around her,” he admitted, sounding so guilty. “Far more than a boyfriend should be.”

“And, I-I don’t think Seung is the only person to have noticed,” he then added as he lifted his head and met your expectant gaze.

The room went silent again for a few moments as you anxiously waited for him to elaborate on that fateful statement.

“Jisoo and I had a meeting with Bang PD on Friday,” he confessed, his voice shaking with obvious nervousness. “He brought us in to talk about our upcoming public appearances like award shows and the Itaewon Class premier.”

“He wanted to set some ground rules for how we’ll interact with one another,” he went on. “I think he’s worried we’ll accidentally reveal our relationship or, rather, that Jisoo will reveal it with her usual antics.”

When he said that your mind instantly flashed with images from the Golden Disc Awards last year where Jisoo gave Tae a surprise kiss on the cheek and left that stupid blue lipstick mark. At the time a stunt like that was relatively harmless, albeit infuriating for you to witness, but she certainly couldn’t do something like that if they were trying to hide an actual ‘relationship’.

“The meeting was kind of tense, though,” he then said as he ran his hands through his hair. “He asked a lot of questions and kept looking at us really curiously and I don’t know. He just...he seemed suspicious, just like he was that first day we met with him.”

It took you a couple seconds to process all that he had just said, but when the weight of his admission finally sank in, your jaw dropped open in disbelief.

“You didn’t think to tell me about this meeting?” you asked, trying your best not to shout as you stared at him incredulously. “Before or after it took place?”

“I’m sorry, Jagi,” he replied sorrowfully. “I know it was wrong to keep it from you.”

“He called the meeting unexpectedly so I couldn’t have told you beforehand,” he then quickly explained. “But, afterwards...I just didn’t know what to say.”

“I thought maybe I was just being paranoid so I wanted some time to think about things before I told you,” he said, giving you a desperate, pleading look. “I didn’t want to worry you for no reason. You were already so sad when I got home.”

“But, seeing Jisoo’s conversation with Seung makes me think maybe it wasn’t just in my head and that he might actually be questioning our relationship,” he said, now looking genuinely fearful.

His words hung in the air between you, thick and heavy and suffocating. Over the last few weeks you had been so distracted watching Jisoo move in on your boyfriend that you’d almost forgotten the reason why this all started in the first place: to keep your big secret. The idea that Bang PD of all people might be doubting the legitimacy of their relationship was downright terrifying. Having your actual relationship be discovered would have been bad enough, but getting caught in an elaborate cover up of that relationship would be infinitely worse. Your career would be over, Tae’s would be in serious jeopardy, and your relationship would no doubt be subjected to all manner of scrutiny and criticism.

You couldn’t believe Tae hadn’t told you about this right away and that he had instead chosen to butter you up all weekend with attention and affection before dropping the bomb. You also couldn’t help but wonder if and when he would have told you if Jisoo hadn’t sent those texts. It was alarming how nonchalant he had been the last two days, how easily he was able to mask his emotions. You couldn’t deny that you felt betrayed, but before you let yourself get carried away with anger, something occurred to you: for the last few weeks you had also been hiding your true feelings so as not to upset him. The situations weren’t the exact same, but even still, you felt yourself softening ever-so-slightly. You knew he had good intentions, just like you did.

“Does Jisoo know you think Bang PD is suspicious?” you asked to break the silence, trying not to sound as hurt as you felt.

“We didn't specifically talk about it, but I think she got a similar vibe during the meeting,” he replied solemnly.

If Jisoo also thought Bang PD was questioning their relationship it could explain why Seung’s comments led her to reach out to Tae with the suggestion for them to ‘up their game’. And yet, as you looked back down at her messages, you felt a gnawing, uneasy feeling in your stomach. After watching her push the envelope for weeks with her subtle flirting, you simply could not shake the thought that she was using this as an excuse to cozy up to Tae and circumvent the rules, ones which were specifically put in place to protect the sanctity of your actual relationship. Whether she was doing it to milk all she could out of this once-in-a-lifetime situation with Tae or because she was legitimately trying to take him away, you didn’t know, but you knew you needed to speak up about it.

“Is upping your PDA really going to help?” you questioned, the slight edge in your voice evident by the grimace it drew from Tae. “Is it truly necessary?”

“It would make things look more believable,” he replied reluctantly as the pained expression he wore deepened.

“I know that, but I just…,” you began, not knowing exactly how to phrase what you were trying to say.

You took a deep, steadying breath to try and calm down before you spoke again.

“Could Jisoo be suggesting it for selfish reasons?” you finally asked. “Just so you’ll give her more attention?”

Tae looked at you for a long time after you spoke, his dark eyes searching yours as he seemed to be wrestling with his thoughts. You could tell he was a bit taken aback by your question. You supposed that made sense given this was the first time since the night of your dream that you admitted to having doubts about Jisoo and her motives. Still, you were surprised that this thought seemed not to have crossed his mind and were even more surprised by what he said next.

“I don’t think she would do that, Jagi,” he eventually said, his tone cautious.

“I know she did some hurtful things in the past, and that we were worried at first about trusting her, but she’s done everything we’ve asked of her so far,” he went on tentatively. “She’s followed all the rules.”

“I honestly think she’s just trying to help,” he concluded, giving you a hopeful look.

At the sound of his words, you felt a sharp pang in your chest. After weeks of holding it all in, weeks of being strong and suffering in silence, it hurt that he didn’t believe you when you finally, finally opened up to him and shared one of your worries. The fact that he defended Jisoo of all people only made the pain worse.

While she hadn’t technically violated any of the PDA rules, she had definitely acted in a way that was borderline inappropriate given that she knew you and Tae were together. It seemed obvious to you what she had been trying to do with her revealing clothes and lingering touches these past few weeks. You found it hard to believe that Tae hadn’t also noticed and couldn’t help but be a little upset and also slightly concerned that he hadn’t acknowledged it in any way.

For the briefest of moments, you allowed your mind to wander to a very dark place. You had not realized how close they had apparently grown over the last three weeks. The fact that she had earned his trust so quickly was incredibly unsettling and had you once again worrying about what they did together when you weren’t there. You also couldn’t help but wonder if the reason why he didn’t bring up her flirtatious behavior was because he liked the way it made him feel. That thought then led to another even more unpleasant one: that he was secretly excited to have an excuse to be more affectionate with her.

A second later, though, you were overcome by a deep sense of shame for having allowed those thoughts to enter your mind at all. Throughout all of this, Tae still had done nothing to give you legitimate reason to doubt him like this. He had done everything and anything possible to make sure you felt loved and desired at all times. He had even told you he wanted to marry you and have a family with you one day. His trust in your relationship and vision for your future together were crystal clear; the last thing you wanted to do was ruin everything with your insecurity. You loved him and trusted him wholeheartedly and weren’t going to let Jisoo get in the way of that.  

“If you believe her and think it will help then I trust you,” you replied, your voice catching a bit at the end.

Despite trusting Tae and knowing he would be doing it with good reason, it still hurt to know he was going to do more with Jisoo. He was going to touch her more tenderly, speak to her more softly; he was going to treat her like his actual lover. There was no doubt in your mind that watching it was going to be torture.

“It’s just a week, though, right?” you then added giving him a tight-lipped smile, trying to convince yourself that you were OK with this. “We can make it through one more week with a little extra PDA.”

The way his face crumpled when you said those words had your heart plummeting into your stomach. You hadn’t seen him look at you this guiltily since the night of your big fight when he realized he forgot your birthday.

“Jagi,” he started, his voice strained as his grief-stricken gaze met yours. “We’re going to have to keep doing this a little longer.”

And, just like that, the last bit of hope you had been clinging to disintegrated. The possibility of this nightmare extending beyond a month had always been there, but you had allowed yourself to live in denial of this fact in a desperate act of self preservation. Had you been aware all along of just how long you would need to endure this heartache, you probably would have given up weeks ago.

“How much longer?” you all but whispered.

“I don’t know,” he replied with a deep sigh. “Until the Big Hit Banquet maybe? Or just after?”

“We need Bang PD to actually see us together so we can convince him it's real,” he added quietly.

You felt the room spinning. The Big Hit Banquet was over a month away. You had only just mustered the strength to brave another week of your current misery, but now here you were being asked to increase both the intensity and duration of your suffering. The thought alone was almost more than you could bear and you felt your body beginning to give out under the crushing weight of it all.

“I’m sorry, Jagi,” he then said, sounding so completely and utterly broken that you felt his pain in your own soul. “I’m so, so sorry.”

“I know it’s going to hurt,” he went on shakily. “But, we have to keep going.”

“We can’t let all of this have been for nothing,” he concluded despondently as he slumped his head back into his hands.

At that moment, there were so many things you wanted to say.

That the pain was already unbearable.

That you honestly didn’t know if you could handle this anymore.

That if you kept going and irrevocably damaged your relationship it all would have been for nothing anyway.

All those words were right there, stuck in your throat, threatening to suffocate you. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you struggled to force them out, but every time they came close to passing your lips your body failed you and all that came out was an inaudible gasp. Silently, you begged him to look up and just see it, the sheer panic that was enveloping you, but his head remained in his hands, his eyes fixed on the floor in a blank, lifeless stare.

The two of you stayed there like that for a long time, you not saying what needed to be said, Tae not seeing what needed to be seen, until eventually your crippling anxiety subsided and was replaced with empty resignation.

He was right: you had to keep going.

It was far too late now to turn back.

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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 43 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 4.1k

warnings: cursing, implied smut, possible infidelity

Chapter 43: Slipped My Mind

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The new ‘rules’ you established that Sunday night were much more vague than the ones that were initially agreed upon. They focused more on what Tae and Jisoo shouldn’t do, rather than what they should do, which left a frighteningly large gray area for you all to navigate through. You hated their ambiguous nature, hated how they made you acutely aware of your lack of control in this whole situation, but you were, begrudgingly, the one to suggest they be designed this way. The unavoidable truth was that having a strict and limited set of predefined ways for Tae and Jisoo to interact was what made things seem forced and awkward in the first place. If they wanted their relationship to be believable, their interactions needed to be less calculated and more natural. They needed to be able to react organically to the situations they found themselves in and that meant not always knowing ahead of time what they were going to do.

Things like kissing on the lips or touching in a way that was overtly sexual were obviously not OK, but other than that nothing was really set in stone. You gave Tae permission to be more physically affectionate and to do more cute coupley things, however, you couldn’t bring yourself to explicitly outline specific things he should do. Ultimately, you ended up telling him to just use his judgement and do whatever he thought necessary and appropriate to make it look real. Your only stipulation was that he be the one to dictate any interactions that were more intimate in nature. If he initiated something, Jisoo could then go along with it, otherwise she was supposed to abide by the original rules. Despite Tae’s trust in her altruistic intentions, you still had your doubts. The last thing you wanted was her thinking she now had the freedom to do whatever she wanted with your boyfriend.

Tae asked if you wanted him to check with you before he did anything with her to which you honestly replied ‘No’. The idea of him spending time contemplating what to do somehow seemed more painful than him simply doing things spur of the moment when he saw an opportunity to put on a show. When it came to explaining what they had done together after the fact, Tae did not ask if that’s what you wanted, he told you that’s what he would do. He said there couldn’t be any secrets between you two and, although you knew it would hurt you both to talk through their interactions, you agreed it was the right thing to do. And, finally, he made you promise that if he ever did anything that you felt crossed the line that you would tell him right away.

Throughout your entire conversation, you could just feel the guilt and torment radiating off of him. It was then that you truly recognized and acknowledged the heartbreak he was suffering as a result of all this. It was different from what you were enduring, but it was no less severe. He was being forced to hurt you, the woman he loved and wanted to spend the rest of his life with, and the deep wounds this left him with were ones you began to fear might never heal. With each passing second, you felt your resolve to be strong for him deepening; you could not bear to cause him even more pain.

After you and Tae talked through everything and decided what you wanted to do moving forward, he called Jisoo to let her know. Initially, he stayed with you in the bedroom, holding your hand and gently stroking your thumb as he spoke with her, but eventually he excused himself and left the room. You felt the tiniest twinge of anxiety watching him leave, wondering why he needed to talk to her in private, but you pushed it from your mind. You trusted that he had a good reason and that he would tell you what you needed to know afterwards. He was on the phone with her for a long time, though, so long that you eventually climbed into bed to wait for him.

You were half asleep when he finally came back into the room, sighing deeply as he closed the door behind him. A few minutes later he crawled into bed beside you. He wrapped his arms around you like always and pulled you against his chest, enveloping you in his warm, comforting embrace. One of his hands soon found yours, his fingers carefully lacing with your own as he peppered your shoulder with little kisses.

“I love you, Jagi,” he whispered after a moment. “I love you so much. More than anything in the whole world.”

“I meant it when I gave you this,” he went on as he gently twirled the couple’s ring around your finger with his thumb. “I will always love you.”

“Please don’t ever forget that,” he then said, the slightest tremble and hint of fearfulness in his voice. “No matter what.”

“Baby, I won’t,” you assured him. “I promise.”

Bringing his hand to your lips, you sealed that promise with a tender kiss to the finger on which he wore his matching couple’s ring.

“I love you and I love us and that’s never going to change,” you added softly.

“We’re going to get through this,” you said finally, trying your best to be brave for him. “Everything is going to be OK.”

~~~

The following morning, phase two of the plan to keep your secret, stay together, and save your relationship began. Tae sent out a text to the other guys letting them know what was going on so they wouldn’t be surprised when they saw him and Jisoo acting differently. Unsurprisingly, Namjoon called Tae immediately after receiving the text. From what you could gather from the half of the conversation you heard, the older man was a bit wary of this change of plans, but agreed you couldn’t risk backing off now if Bang PD was legitimately suspicious. As you sat there in the kitchen listening to Tae explain things, you got a much needed bit of assurance knowing your guardian angel was onboard with everything.

Tae ‘upped their game’ little by little so as to lessen the blow and give you time to adjust to their new dynamic which you greatly appreciated. Despite the fact that they were doing more together than they had been before, you actually felt your level of anxiety decrease slightly. The fact that you and him were regularly talking about what they were doing was helping significantly in terms of quelling your fears. You still weren’t divulging all of your deep seeded insecurities, but you were being more candid than you had been during the first three weeks of this ordeal. However, no matter what Tae did or said in the evenings to assure you of his love and commitment, you did still have moments when you were unable to combat the little doubts that infiltrated your mind.

On Monday, Tae fed Jisoo part of his meal while they had lunch down in the café. Eunji happened to be there at the time and had sneakily taken a photo and then sent it to you. As you sat there by yourself in the studio staring down at the photo, you couldn’t help but be overcome with bitterness. You and Tae would never get to do something like that. Obviously, he wouldn’t be able to take you or Jisoo out to an actual restaurant without being swamped by fans and media. But, inside of the Big Hit building, he did have the freedom and protection to openly be with his partner...so long as that partner was Jisoo and not you.

On Tuesday, they took a bunch of selfies together. They spent several minutes throwing out different poses, giggling the entire time and clearly having fun. They took one while doing Tae’s signature ‘V’ over the eye pose. Another showed them making silly faces with their tongues sticking out. In the last one they took, Jisoo gave Tae a kiss on the cheek while he scrunched his face up all cutely. Jisoo actually made that one the background of her phone, but thankfully Tae kept the photo of Tannie as the background of his. For that, you were extremely grateful; you didn’t think you could handle it if you saw her face every time he turned on his phone.

On Wednesday, he wrapped his arms around her waist from behind and pulled her to his chest while hanging out in the studio. She slowly slid her hands down his arms and then carefully intertwined their fingers. Off to the side, you watched them through the mirror, noting how frustratingly perfect they looked together. They were both so beautiful, so captivating and alluring. You couldn't help but worry what people would say when it was time to publicly reveal your relationship years from now. Surely they would be surprised, and maybe even disappointed, to see Tae with someone as plain as you.

On Thursday, he kissed her on the forehead. Out of everything he had done, this was by far the most painful to witness. Although she had given him kisses to the cheek almost daily for the last month, this was the first time he had ever touched her with his lips. The gesture somehow seemed more intimate than if he had kissed her on the mouth. A kiss to the lips could be mistaken for nothing more than lust, but a kiss to the forehead meant so much more. It signified adoration and affection, emotions that were only supposed to be reserved for you. The worst part wasn’t just that he did it, but that he did it with a tenderest of smiles on his face.

By the time Friday rolled around, you were emotionally exhausted, significantly more so than you had been at the end of any of the previous three grueling weeks. Nothing Tae did had crossed the line, all of their interactions had been relatively tame and innocent, but the way he had done things had been hard to stomach.

It just looked so real.

It was both impressive and unsettling how quickly he seemed to have flipped the switch. Just last week it looked awkward and forced every time he touched her or spoke to her, but now it seemed like everything came naturally to him. You knew the ease with which he slipped into the character of her doting boyfriend was a reflection of his acting skills, but nonetheless, it was at times hard to watch. There had been a handful of instances throughout the week where you had, for just a split second, forgotten he was pretending.

To say you were ready for the weekend was a massive understatement and thankfully the day had gone by quickly and without incident. Due to his hectic rehearsal schedule, you actually hadn’t seen Tae once all day since leaving the apartment. Normally, that would have bummed you out, but not seeing Tae meant not seeing Jisoo and you weren’t about to complain about that. However, your hopes of having a completely Jisoo-free day were dashed just as you were getting ready to head home.

After attending a meeting with the other stylist’s regarding the upcoming Big Hit family photoshoot, you entered the studio to find Jisoo perched on Tae’s chair. By now, you were accustomed to this sight. She waited here for him almost every day so they could walk out to the parking garage together. Seeing them leave hand-in-hand was an unpleasant way to end each work day, but you were comforted knowing that the moment he said goodbye to her, he was once again unequivocally yours. As she drove away back to whatever sad life awaited her, he drove home to you and your life together.

Over the course of the last month, Jisoo had interacted with you only sparingly, something which you found surprising and also slightly unnerving. You had expected her to be constantly giving you dirty looks or throwing out little jabs, anything to use the precarious situation against you, but she had contained whatever resentment you were convinced she still held towards you. When she was with you and Tae in the studio, she had mostly ignored your existence, instead focusing all her attention on Tae. Your most notable exchange had occurred early on when she informed you that your close relationship with Tae might be viewed as inappropriate, but since then you hadn’t spoken more than a few pleasantries to one another.

This week, though, there had been a noticeable change in her demeanor towards you. Before, she seemed to have genuinely tried to tone things down when you were around, but now she appeared to have no qualms about flaunting her ‘relationship’ right in front of you. While she did refrain from initiating anything more intimate, she immediately went all in on whatever Tae did, taking a mile when he gave her an inch with absolutely no regard for your feelings whatsoever. She wore a sweet, innocent smile the majority of the time, but every now and then she dropped the façade and flashed you a smug, satisfied smirk. She was clearly loving the new rules, absolutely eating up all the attention and affection Tae gave her, and she wanted you to know. It was infuriating to stand by and watch her, to know she had gotten exactly what she wanted, but you had no choice but to grin and bear it.

As you walked over to your station to pack up your bag, you kept your eyes glued to your phone in an attempt to deter Jisoo from attempting to speak to you. Initially, your plan was successful; for ten whole minutes she pretended not to have noticed that you entered the vicinity. However, her shrill voice eventually cut through the peaceful silence.

“I must say, I’m surprised you’re OK with all this,” she said, her tone annoyingly light. “I’m not sure I would be able to sit back and watch my boyfriend be all over another woman.”

“You must really trust him,” she went on casually.

At last, the claws have come out.

“I do,” you replied evenly. “I know he’s only doing it because he loves me and wants to protect our relationship.”

“Still, doesn’t it bother you when you see us together here at work?” she asked, her voice dripping with obviously fake concern. “When you watch him hold me or kiss me?”

No, it doesn’t bother me. It fucking kills me.

“Not one bit,” you said nonchalantly, refusing to give her the satisfaction of knowing her words had gotten under her skin. “I know it doesn’t mean anything.”

“He still comes home to me every night,” you continued, a hint of smugness now in your voice as your courage surged. “He cooks me dinner, cuddles with me on the couch, makes love to me in our bed, and then falls asleep with me in his arms.”

“So, no, it doesn’t bother me when I see him playing pretend with you,” you stated triumphantly.

She seemed genuinely surprised by the boldness of your statement and you relished the stunned expression she momentarily wore. However, in an instant it was gone and she was back sporting her usual smirk.

“Well, I’m glad to know you’re OK with everything,” she went on in a sickly sweet voice.

“I was worried you might be upset that he and I spent yesterday afternoon alone in my recording lab,” she then added, barely able to contain the glee in her voice as she spoke.

Upon hearing her words, you felt the rush of confidence you’d just experienced begin slowly draining out of you. Like every other day this week, last night you and Tae had talked through his day and he’d let you know everything that had happened between him and Jisoo. He had mentioned the forehead kiss and a couple other small interactions like hugs and holding hands, but he hadn’t mentioned anything about being alone with her in her recording lab. Finding yourself completely caught off guard, you simply stood there in silence, trying to gather your thoughts as you began imagining them together on the couch in that cozy, dimly-lit room.

“Oh, he didn’t tell you?” she asked, feigning surprise when you didn’t respond.

“It must have just slipped his mind,” she continued innocently. “He was really tired when he left yesterday.”

The clear insinuation of her words had you snapping back to reality, but before you could say anything Tae walked into the studio, his big, boxy smile shining brightly. He came over and gave Jisoo a hug, but shot you a quick wink behind her back. Under normal circumstances that little secret gesture would have made you giddy, but right now, after the conversation you and Jisoo had just had, it made your insides churn as an awful thought popped into your head.

What if he does things behind my back too?

You hated yourself for even thinking that, but you couldn’t deny that Jisoo’s words had shaken you. It was clear that you and Tae needed to talk, but you knew you couldn’t afford to get into it right now so you gave him a small smile in return and hoped he wouldn’t notice that it didn’t reach your eyes.

“We need to get going,” Jisoo then said, breaking away from his hug and instead linking her arm with his. “We have dinner reservations at 6:00, remember?”

“Oh, uh, right,” he said, clearing his throat as he grabbed his jacket off of his chair.

“Bye, Y/N,” he then added casually as she began tugging him towards the door. “I’ll see you on Monday.”

As you watched them leave, you began replaying your conversation with Jisoo, trying to stay calm and not let your mind wander to dark places. Not a minute after they were gone, though, your phone buzzed in your pocket.

[Taehyung 4:34 PM] ‘See you on Monday’

[Taehyung 4:34 PM] As if I could actually go two whole days without you.

[Taehyung 4:35 PM] I would die of cuddle and kiss withdrawal.

[Taehyung 4:35 PM] I’ll see you at home soon, sweetheart 💜

As you reread his messages, swooning at the new nickname, you felt yourself relax as you let out the breath you had been holding. Surely there was an explanation for what Jisoo said, the most likely of which being that she straight up lied to you. She had clearly been trying to rile you up, but after you shut down her initial attacks she got desperate and started spewing nonsense. Once you talked to Tae, he would confirm this and everything would be fine. Shaking off the rest of your negative thoughts, you finished packing up and headed home.

When you got there, you were only further convinced that Jisoo was full of crap. After quietly entering the apartment, you crept towards the kitchen and heard Tae starting to make dinner while talking to who you could only assume was Tannie.

I know you missed Mommy today. I missed her too. I snuck down to the studio during one of our rehearsal breaks just so I could peek through the door and see her. She was working on my outfit for the Big Hit family photoshoot and she pouted so adorably when the sewing machine got jammed. I wanted so badly to walk in there and kiss her pouty lips, but obviously I couldn’t do that. You know the rules: no kissing Mommy at work. She’s going to be home soon, though, and then we’ll get to see her all weekend and get all the kisses and all the cuddles too.

Those simply could not be the words of someone who was hiding things from you.

Not wanting to spoil the absolutely lovely mood he’d set with that cute soliloquy, you decided to wait until after dinner to bring up your conversation with Jisoo. Of course, immediately after dinner was over you two had not one but two servings of dessert, the first one hot and messy right there on the dining room table and the second slow and passionate between the satin sheets of your bed.

It wasn’t until later on, after you’d showered, together of course, and gotten into bed that you finally had the chance to ask him about what Jisoo had said. You were fairly certain she had lied, or that she had misrepresented the situation somehow so as to give you the wrong impression, but you just wanted to get clarity from Tae so you could stop worrying.

“Tae?” you began to get his attention.

He hummed in reply as he snuggled you closer and burrowed his face in your hair.

“Jisoo said something today about you guys spending yesterday afternoon alone in her recording lab,” you said carefully. “Did she make that up?”

The few seconds during which he hesitated to answer you were cause enough for slight concern, but it was the way his body tensed up that had you instantly on edge. All at once, the calm, happy cocoon he’d had you wrapped in all evening began unraveling. It was a simple question, one which shouldn’t have elicited this kind of guarded response from him.

“No, actually she didn’t,” he replied, an unmistakable hint of trepidation in his voice. "We were in there."

“I’m sorry I forgot to tell you,” he then added guiltily.

You forgot or you purposefully didn’t tell me?

You couldn’t help but ask yourself this question. Although Tae could be forgetful at times, this was a pretty important thing to have forgotten, especially when it happened only hours before you talked. An uncomfortable silence then settled over the two of you when he didn’t elaborate on his admission or explain the situation further.

“What were you guys doing in there?” you eventually questioned as nonchalantly as possible so as not to convey your growing unease.

Again, there was the briefest of pauses before he responded which caused your stomach to drop.

“She said she needed to stop by and pick something up after lunch,” he answered tentatively. “But then she started playing some songs from her upcoming album and I got stuck in there for a while.”

“I’m sorry again that I didn’t mention it yesterday,” he went on quickly as he hugged you to him a little more tightly. “It just slipped my mind.”

“It’s OK,” you said quietly. “Thanks for telling me now.”

As you laid there, for the first time feeling a bit suffocated by his warm embrace rather than comforted by it, you debated what more you should say. The idea of Jisoo dragging him in there for one thing only to force him to listen to her songs was believable; she was always trying to show off for him in one way or another. If he had told you about this upfront yesterday, you wouldn’t have been nearly as upset as you were right now. While you didn’t love the idea of them being alone together behind a closed door, you trusted him in that situation. At least, you thought you did.

You wanted desperately to believe that he had truly just forgotten to tell you, but the sinking feeling in your stomach had you doubting that theory. Assuming he had purposefully kept this information to himself, the best case scenario was that he was afraid he had accidentally crossed the line by being in there alone with her and didn’t want to upset you. It would still have been wrong of him not to tell you, but at least he would have had good intentions. The worst case scenario, though, was legitimately too painful to contemplate: that he had knowingly and intentionally crossed the line while in there but didn’t want you to know.

With all your might, you tried to force that last heartbreaking thought from your mind. Tae loved you. He was only spending time with her because he loved you and wanted to keep you safe. He wanted to marry you and have a family with you and spend the rest of his life with you.

He would never cheat on you.

Right?

Not sure if there were any words that could express the jumbled mess of thoughts and emotions you were currently dealing with, you ultimately ended up saying nothing more. Whether Tae didn’t realize you were actually not OK at the moment, or he noticed but didn’t want to address it, you weren’t sure, but a few minutes later he reached over and turned off the lamp on the bedside table.

“Goodnight, Jagi,” he whispered. “I hope you have sweet dreams.”

“Night, Tae,” you called back softly, knowing with absolute certainty that any dreams you had, assuming you slept at all, would be anything but sweet.

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Too Good To Be True - Question

Who do you guys think is more responsible for the current mess our lovebirds find themselves in?

Tae and his obliviousness to what is happenings around him

Y/N and her inability to communicate her feelings

TGTBT - Answers

Seems you all are pretty split on who bares most of the blame here. I myself go back and forth on who frustrates me more, but it’s probably most often Y/N. Tae is doing everything under the sun to show her he loves her and wants to be with her, but he can’t help her if he doesn’t know that what he’s doing isn’t enough or isn’t the right kind of assurance. Tae’s certainly not blameless, though. If insecurity and inability to communicate are Y/N’s biggest flaws, Tae being too trusting of other people is definitely his. The fact that he wears his heart on his sleeve and doesn’t hide his own emotions is making it hard for him to recognize that both Y/N and Jisoo are hiding their true feelings from him; Y/N is actually not at all OK with the fake dating plan and Jisoo is a conniving bitch hellbent on destruction. Hopefully these two can figure their shit out before it’s too late...

@ emberfulclass

See this is kinda hard because like I feel like his obliviousness is what’s starting to make her loose her trust in him but at the same time, she should tell him what’s going. he can’t read her mind. however, i get why she’s not saying cause if I was in this situation I would probably do the same.

@lisalisss

i think both of them but y/n need to say what is feeling because I mean she can’t just sit down and hide her feelings maybe this in the future she will like “explote” and that will hurt not just her feelings tae‘s too

@ourainymonday

Oh Y/N defs needs to communicate more effectively, which could lead to more understanding on Tae’s part. It is no one’s responsibility in a relationship to read the mind of the other half.

@yessii-i

I think both have their faults. Y/n could probably ease her pain if she spoke out about her worries and Tae could be more observant of y/no’s change in behavior.

@aianloveseven

I think both. Both of them wanted something to happen but they are not communicating well. But seriously, Y/N needs to speak up. It's hurting her so much and she needs to redeem herself. I hope she's find some time to go somewhere peaceful for a while and think of herself. 😭

@hordanhearsawhooo

i think they could both open up to each other more but yn really needs to. we saw what happened when she assumed tae was talking about jisoo on the phone. :(

@fentystalli

honestly i think yn not being able to communicate is the bigger problem, she can’t expect tae to just read her mind and know what she’s feeling

@raggedymanwithabox2

I would say they are both at fault but maybe Tae a bit more cuz even though oc haven't said anything, I think if he would just pay attention a bit more he would see that she's very negatively affected by all this. I should add that I'm the kind of person who can read peoples feelings well, my fiance who finds it hard to know what people are thinking or feeling if they don't tell him outright would maybe disagree. (Love the story by the way 💜💜💜)

Too Good To Be True - Ch. 44 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 4k

warnings: cursing, sexting, bondage, implied sex

A/N:  So I realized the last couple chapters have been super angsty and depressing and decided we needed to have a bit of fluffy, smutty fun for a change. Rest assured, this was but a respite from the heartbreak. The big angst is still coming. But, for the time being, I hope you enjoy Y/N and Tae being super cute and incredibly hot for each other :

Chapter 44: The Best Boy

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It was nearly 2 AM and you were still awake, nothing but the sound of Tannie’s soft snores and Tae’s occasional mutterings to break the otherwise suffocating silence.

You’d say you spent the last several hours tossing and turning, but that would be a lie; it was impossible to toss, turn, or really move at all whilst in Kim Taehyung’s sleepy clutches. He’d fallen asleep rather quickly, leaving you alone with your tumultuous thoughts, something which you were trying desperately not to resent him for. The situation was uncomfortably reminiscent of the night in which this whole fake dating fiasco began: Tae beside you sleeping peacefully while you laid there wide awake, your mind racing. After hours spent contemplating everything - what you were told, what you believed, how you felt, what you should do - you had figured out precisely nothing.

With a defeated sigh, you decided you couldn’t stay in bed any longer. Gently extracting yourself from Tae’s koala bear embrace and stuffing your pillow into his arms instead, you quietly slipped from the bedroom. After turning on the light in the living room, you went over to one of the couches and collapsed down onto it, your head instantly falling into your hands. You don’t know how long you sat there, staring blankly ahead as you sifted through your endless thoughts, but eventually something on the bookshelf in front of you caught your eye.

It was a framed picture of Tae’s phone that showed his background set to the first photo you’d ever taken together, the one where he was trying to eat your pigtail. Since he obviously couldn’t have that photo be the background of his phone all the time, he figured having a picture of what it would look like was the next best thing. He gave it to you a week or so after you got back from America, calling it a ‘because I love you’ gift. You cracked up when you pulled it out of the bag, telling him it would have been easier if he just got you a framed picture of the photo itself, but he said that would have been too boring. It was such a silly, sweet, thoughtful gift, something that was so incredibly Tae. Looking at it now, you were reminded not only of how much Tae loved you, but of the infinite number of ways, big and small, that he went about expressing that love.

Him giving you the couple’s ring that matched his grandmother’s ring to assure you of his commitment. The fact that he made coffee for you in the mornings even though he didn’t drink it. How affectionate and passionate and generous he was when you were intimate. The way he kept the apartment slightly warmer than he probably wanted because he knew you were always cold. How he shared his vision for your future together and spoke of marriage and children without the slightest bit of doubt or hesitancy. When he pretended to be full because he knew how much you wanted the last dumpling. How often he lavished you with genuine praise, saying you were beautiful, smart, talented, strong, the woman of his dreams. How he spent three years writing you the most beautiful love song, one which he often softly sang to you at night as you were falling asleep.

Laying down on the couch, you pulled out your phone and started playing the original demo version of ‘Sweet Night’ Tae had given you. Once he started ‘dating’ Jisoo, his plan for re-recording the song without her on backing vocals unfortunately went out the window. It would make no sense for him to kick her off the song if recording it together is what led them to date in the first place. It was frustrating that she would be on the official version, but you had this one which you absolutely loved and that was enough for you.

As you lay there listening to Tae’s soft, soothing voice, memories from the summer when they were recording this song together washed over you. It had been an extremely confusing and difficult time for you, one marked by many sleepless, tear-filled nights. When you thought back to all the most heartbreaking moments, though, you realized there was an undeniable common theme:

Jisoo bending the truth to fit her own twisted narrative.

How she led you to believe Tae was taking her on a date when they were actually attending a dinner meeting with numerous other people.

How she pretended he had given her the dark chocolate-covered strawberries even though he had actually ordered them to go so he could give them to you.

How she made it seem like he was busy and not spending time with you because they were together when in reality he had been hard at work producing the song he wrote to confess his love to you.

Suddenly, the idea that you’d questioned Tae’s faithfulness for even a second seemed completely absurd. Whatever the reason for him not telling you about their time in her recording lab, whether because he truly did just forget or because he felt guilty about being in there at all, it was obvious now that Jisoo had purposefully misconstrued the situation. She wanted you to have doubts and to accuse him of cheating, knowing how absolutely devastated he would be if you did so. She wanted to drive a wedge between you and him, just like she did over the summer, and ruin your relationship.

Why? Because she was jealous, plain and simple. You had a committed, loving, absolutely wonderful partner and she was jealous. You didn't blame her, you had once been jealous of her when you thought they were together, but the way she was going about dealing with her envy was both cruel and pathetic.

But, no longer were you going to sit back and take it. No longer were you going to be intimidated by her or let yourself be poisoned by her toxicity.

It was time to stand up for yourself and fight fire with fire. If she wanted to shamelessly revel in and openly flaunt her fake relationship, then you would shamelessly revel in and openly flaunt your real one, in all it’s fluffy, smutty glory. You would show her, once and for all, that Tae was wholly and unequivocally yours.

With a newfound sense of calm and purpose, you rose from the couch and headed back into the bedroom, determined to get a good night’s sleep so you could begin taking your life back tomorrow. Climbing onto the bed, you found Tae had completely wrapped himself around your pillow, a sight which was painfully adorable. You tried gently prying it out of his grasp, but he was holding it with both his arms and his legs and it wouldn’t budge. Pulling a little harder now, it was just beginning to come free from his hold when suddenly he clutched it back tightly against his chest.

“No,” he mumbled sleepily.

“Mine,” he then added after you gave the pillow another tug, his words just barely understandable. “My Jagi.”

In that moment, you thought for sure your heart would burst. Even in his sleep, he called you his.

“Tae,” you whispered as you brushed his hair back from his face. “Tae.”

It took a minute of trying to gently rouse him before he finally started to stir.

“Hmm?” he hummed, clearly disoriented after being woken up in the middle of night.

“I left the bed for a few minutes and now you’re cuddling my pillow,” you whispered, smiling as you watched the realization hit him.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he muttered as he let go of your pillow and put it back by your head.

“It’s Ok,” you said back with a giggle. “I just thought maybe you’d want to go back to cuddling me?

“Most definitely,” he replied as he held his arms open.

Scooting over to take up the space previously occupied by your pillow, you let him envelope you in his arms and pull you to his chest.

“Much better,” he said softly as he nuzzled his face into your neck. “My Jagi is back where she belongs.”

“Yes,” you called back quietly, already beginning to feel sleepy. “Yes, I am.”

~~~

You woke the following morning to the feeling of Tae pressing a feather-light kiss against your temple. From there, his lips made their way to your forehead, the tip of your nose, the apple of your cheek, and every other inch of your face. You pretended to still be asleep as long as you could, but when his lips finally found yours you were unable to contain your smile any longer.

“Good morning, beautiful,” he said sweetly.

“I’m not beautiful right now,” you mumbled sleepily, your eyes still closed. “My face is puffy and my hair is messy and I have eye oogies.”

“Your eye oogies make you especially beautiful,” he said with a laugh before kissing the corner of your eye, precisely where the offending oogies were located.

Finally opening your eyes, you found him lying beside you, gazing at you with the most adoring smile. In the soft light streaming in from the window, he looked nothing short of angelic, his fluffy, sleep-mussed hair framing his handsome face. No matter how many nights you spent together, you would never get used to waking up to this view.  

“You were in my dream last night,” he admitted shyly a moment later.

“Yea?” you questioned, loving the little blush that he was now sporting. “What did you dream about?”

He nervously bit his lower lip and looked away for a moment before responding.

“Umm, I might have dreamed that we were in the backyard of our theoretical future house playing with our theoretical future kids,” he said bashfully as his cheeks grew even redder.

Upon hearing his words, you felt the biggest, dopiest smile spread across your face. That might just be the most adorable, wonderful thing he’s ever said to you.

“Ok, you are too freaking cute,” you said, gazing at him with heart eyes.

“How many kids did we have?” you then asked, genuinely curious to know what his subconscious thought up.

“Honestly, I’m not sure,” he admitted with a laugh. “They were running all over the place so it was hard to get an accurate count.”

“Oh dear,” you said with a laugh of your own. “We had so many that you couldn’t even count them?”

“Theoretically speaking, it appears so,” he admitted, giving you a little smirk.

If there was any residual doubt in your mind after last night’s epiphany, it was gone now. The man literally had dreams where you had a family together, that’s how sure he was of your future. You were now more determined than ever to stand up to Jisoo and fight for Tae, your relationship, and that beautiful future he saw with you. And, you knew just how you wanted to do it.

While you and him spent the day lounging around and binging episodes of your new favorite show on Netflix, you secretly planned a special surprise for him for the following evening. It was one which you believed he would thoroughly enjoy and also one which would help make it crystal clear to Jisoo who exactly Tae belonged to. Since she had obviously failed miserably in her attempt to seduce him and have him lusting after her, you decided you were going to show her how it’s done. You were going to make it painfully obvious to her what it looked like when Kim Taehyung had it bad for someone, that someone being you.

Wanting him to be all the more eager tomorrow night, you exerted an enormous amount of self control and kept things PG all day long. That night, when Tae began kissing your neck and running his fingers along the waistband of your leggings while you were cuddling, his way of letting you know he was in the mood, you feigned being too tired to do anything. Given you rarely ever turned down an invitation for intimacy, you thought he might be surprised or disappointed by your reaction, but if he was he didn’t let it show. Always the gentleman, he immediately stopped what he was doing and reverted back to being a cuddly teddy bear, holding you affectionately but respectfully. It was extremely hard to turn him down, especially since his little kisses and touches had definitely gotten you in the mood, but you remained strong, committed to your plan.

You successfully warded off his advances the following morning too, though, it was certainly easier said than done. The two of you had an extremely healthy and active sex life, having literally not gone a single day without some form of intimacy since the night of your dinner date. Going almost 48 hours with nothing more than a few heated kisses was rough and made you all the more excited for this evening’s surprise.

You began putting your plan into action that afternoon once Tae left the apartment to head over to the dorms. The guys were having a meeting and then Jin was making dinner which meant he would be gone for several hours. As soon as he left, you got dressed and headed out to the mall, knowing exactly what store you wanted to visit and exactly what you planned on buying.

A couple hours later, you were back in the apartment, staring down at your purchases with a look of immense satisfaction. The lingerie set before you was incredibly sexy; it was gray, which was Tae’s favorite color, lacy, strappy, and almost entirely see-through. Up until recently, you never in your wildest dreams could have imagined wearing something so scandalous, but being with Tae had given you so much self-confidence. He made you feel like an absolute goddess whenever you were intimate, like every inch of you was beautiful and perfect. You genuinely liked the way you looked while wearing the set and were all but certain Tae would too.

After showering and shaving every last inch of your body, you did your hair in some soft curls and put on a bit of light, natural makeup. You then slipped the lingerie on, sat down on the bed, and texted Tae.

[5:11 PM] I decided to get out of the apartment for a bit and do some shopping.

You snapped a photo of the Victoria’s Secret bag sitting on the floor and sent it along with a winky face. Tae’s response came almost instantaneously.

[Taehyung 5:12 PM] Victoria’s Secret?! 😳

[Taehyung 5:13 PM] Is my Jagi going to put on a fashion show for me tonight? 👀

[5:14 PM] I might.

[5:14 PM] If you’re a good boy.

[Taehyung 5:15 PM] I will be. I’ll be such a good boy. The best boy.

[Taehyung 5:16 PM] Can I get a teaser photo? Pretty please? 🙏🏻

Laughing at him calling it a ‘teaser photo’ like this was some kind of BTS comeback, you laid down and propped yourself up on one elbow, resting your chin in your hand. You held your phone out in front of you and angled it so as to show off your cleavage and reveal a bit of the bra. Biting your lip ever so slightly, you then took a photo and hit send.

[Taehyung 5:20 PM] Fuck. Sweetheart.

[Taehyung 5:21 PM] You are gorgeous. Literally the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen in my entire life.

[Taehyung 5:21 PM] Please let me see the rest of your beautiful body. PLEASE.

[5:22 PM] I will…

[5:22 PM] …once you get home.

[Taehyung 5:24 PM] You are minx. A siren. A seductive temptress.

[Taehyung 5:24 PM] And fuck if I don’t love it.

Getting up onto your knees, you took and sent another photo, this one from the side showing the thin straps of the panties and the curve of your ass.

[Taehyung 5:30 PM] That’s it. I’m leaving.

[Taehyung 5:30 PM] I don’t need the dinner Jin-hyung is making.

[Taehyung 5:31 PM] There is clearly a delicious meal waiting for me at home.

[Taehyung 5:32 PM] I told the guys there was an emergency which technically wasn’t a lie.

[Taehyung 5:32 PM] The emergency is that my sinfully hot girlfriend is alone in our bed right now wearing lingerie.

[Taehyung 5:33 PM] I’ll be home soon, Jagi.

[5:34 PM] I’ll be here waiting for you 💜

Twenty minutes later, which you noted with a chuckle was less time than it usually took to get home from the dorms, you heard the apartment door open. Not a minute after that, the door to the bedroom opened and Tae came bursting in, breathing heavily after clearly rushing to get to you.

You were sitting on the edge of the bed, legs crossed and a glass of wine in one hand. Wanting to keep the mystery as long as possible, you had thrown on the lingerie set’s matching satin robe. It barely came mid-thigh, though, and Tae was immediately drinking in the sight of your bare legs. Setting your glass of wine down on the nightstand, you stood up and strode over to him. His hands reflexively came out to rest on your waist, but you stopped him at the last second.

“No touching,” you said coyly, wagging your finger at him. “At least not until you prove you’re a good boy.”

He gave you an adorable pout as he slowly withdrew his hands.

“How do I do that?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at you.

“Strip,” you then said simply.

Clearly caught off guard by your bold demand, his eyes went wide for a moment before his gaze darkened and a sly smirk spread across his face. Slowly, and without breaking eye contact, he began removing his clothes. Once he was down to just his boxers, you instructed him to lay down on the bed. You then pulled two scarves out of the top drawer of your dresser and held them up for him to see.

“If you want to see the fashion show, you have to be tied up,” you said flirtatiously.

His pupils were blown out wide now, his expression one of unmistakable lust. The two of you had never experimented with any form of bondage before, but it was more than obvious that this was something he found arousing.

“Are you OK with that?” you then asked more seriously, making sure he was actually comfortable with what you had just proposed.

“Yes,” he replied instantly. “Absolutely.”

“You can do whatever you want with me, Jagi,” he added as his tongue came out to wet his lips.

“Oh I will,” you said with a mischievous smirk.

Once he was fully restrained, you began the fashion show. You started by untying your robe and slowly letting it fall off one shoulder, giving him a tiny glimpse of the gray fabric beneath. After shrugging it off the other shoulder, the robe then pooled around your waist, exposing the entirety of the nearly see-through bra. You stayed like that for a little bit, letting the robe slip lower a couple times only to pull it back up at the last second, each time causing him to mutter a breathy curse.

The way he licked and bit his lips when you finally let the robe fall to the floor, shamelessly letting his gaze linger on the strappy panties that covered close to nothing, sent a wave of arousal through you. However, nothing turned you on more than him pleading in a deep, husky voice for you to turn around and let him see you from behind. You obliged, but glanced back to find him looking utterly transfixed by the way the lacy fabric hugged your curves.

After striking a number of naughty poses at the foot of the bed, you eventually climbed onto it and crawled towards him on all fours until you were hovering over him. You then proceeded to tease him with hot, open-mouthed kisses to his neck and chest and stomach until he begged for you to untie him, whining that he needed to touch you. You sat down and straddled him as you contemplated whether or not to let him go, relishing the low groans you drew from him every time you gently swiveled your hips. After a few minutes of torturing him like that, you decided he had been a good boy after all and finally released him.

The second he was free he pounced, pinning you to the bed with the hungriest look in his eye you had ever seen. The beast inside him now unleashed, he spent the rest of the evening absolutely devouring you, worshiping your body in every way imaginable and wringing pleasure from you until you truly couldn't take it anymore. It was by far the most intense and erotic sexual experience you’d ever shared together, one that was certainly more than you bargained for, but which had definitely accomplished your ultimate goal.

“Jagi, sweetheart,” Tae said between pants as you laid together afterwards, limbs tangled in a sweaty, messy heap. “You’ve ruined me.”

“How am I supposed to act professionally around you tomorrow after this?” he then questioned, more to himself than to you.

“I’m going to be sitting there in my chair daydreaming about you tying me to it and riding me,” he went on.  

“That could be arranged,” you said coyly, leaning in to give him a lazy kiss.

“Fuck,” he groaned. “You’re going to be the death of me.”

“You love it,” you replied, biting back a smile.

“You’re damn right I do,” he growled as he rolled on top of you.

“How did I get so lucky?” he then mused as he gazed at you in wonder. “I’ve got a smart, kind, talented girlfriend who is also incredibly sexy and kinky as fuck who is one day going to be my wife and the mother of my children.”

“By the way, in my dream Friday night you were a total MILF,” he added as he leaned down and placed a chaste kiss on your lips before pulling back and giving you a wicked smirk.

“Tae!” you scolded with a laugh. “You can’t simultaneously dream about our children and about wanting to fuck me.”

“Sure I can,” he said, giving you a rather serious look. “That fact you were a hot mom that I wanted to fuck is obviously why we ended up with so many kids in the first place. Dream me clearly just couldn’t keep my hands off of dream you.”

“Ok well dream us clearly didn’t know about a little thing called contraception,” you replied jokingly.

“Speaking of which,” you continued, growing more serious and also slightly shy, “I’ve been thinking...maybe it’s time for me to go on birth control?”

“I just...it would make things easier and more convenient,” you went on nervously. “But, if you would prefer we keep using-”

“No,” he said breathlessly, cutting you off. “If you’re comfortable going on birth control then I’m absolutely on board.”

“I want to feel you, Jagi,” he continued, leaning his forehead against yours. “I don't want there to be anything between us when we make love.”

“OK,” you said quietly, overwhelmed by his incredibly supportive and romantic response. “I’ll make an appointment with my doctor.”

“OK,” he repeated with a little smile as he brought his lips to yours in a sweet kiss.

“I love you,” he then added softly as he pulled back and rubbed his nose against yours.

“I love you, too,” you replied, your heart absolutely overflowing with warmth and happiness.

This night may have begun as part of an elaborate plan to put Jisoo in her place and fend off her desperate attacks on you and your relationship, but it was ending on the tenderest of notes: Tae showing you, in yet another special, subtly meaningful way, just how much he loved you.

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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 45 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 4.3k

warnings: cursing, implied sex

Chapter 45: Afternoon Delight

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When you woke up the following morning you were exhausted, sore, and happier than you had been in a very long time. Last night was gratifying in so many different ways. From a purely physical standpoint, it had been, without a doubt, the most pleasurable experience of your life. The energy between you and Tae was unlike anything you’d ever felt before; every touch, every kiss, every thrust sent a wave white-hot pleasure coursing through you. It was truly overwhelming, but in the absolute best sense of the word.

From an emotional standpoint, though, the events of last night were even more satisfying. It felt so good to take charge, to be vocal about your desires and confident in your actions. You wanted something and you went after it without second guessing yourself. In doing that, you had proven to yourself that you were strong and courageous and fierce.

If you wanted to fight Jisoo and protect the relationship you had worked so hard to build, those were precisely the qualities you were going to need to demonstrate.

Moving the covers aside, you realized just then that you weren’t wearing any clothes and neither was Tae. You two must have fallen asleep while cuddling before you had a chance to get dressed and ready for bed. Blushing slightly, you decided that you kind of liked sleeping like this and thought maybe you’d suggest to Tae that you do it more often.

As much as you wanted to stay there with him like that, a quick glance at your watch let you know you had both slept in much later than usual. You unfortunately needed to get up now or else you would definitely be late for work. Carefully slipping out of his grasp, you got up from bed and quickly threw on clothes. After washing your face and removing the remnants of your makeup, you padded into the kitchen in the pursuit of your second true love: coffee.

A little while later you were leaning against the counter, scrolling through Twitter while you waited for the coffee to brew. You were so engrossed in the captivatingly mindless activity that you didn’t even hear Tae enter the room. The beep from the coffee maker pulled your attention from your phone, but before you could move to grab a mug you felt his muscular arms wrap around you from behind. He slid his hands underneath the shirt you had on, settling one on your waist and splaying the other across your lower abdomen. With a gentle tug, he pulled you flush against him. As he began trailing little kisses down your neck, the hand on your lower abdomen slid down until his fingers met soft fabric.

“My shirt, no bra, skimpy pair of panties,” he mused, his breath hot on your neck. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were trying to seduce me.”

“Hmm I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you replied coyly, biting back a smile.

This was, of course, a blatant lie. You knew for a fact that few things turned Tae on more than the sight of you wearing his clothes.

“I don’t believe you, little minx,” he whispered in your ear, ignoring your feeble attempt at feigning innocence.

“I think you know exactly what you’re doing right now,” he went on as he gave your earlobe a soft bite. “Just like you knew exactly what you were doing when you sent me those naughty photos yesterday.”

Before you had a chance to respond, his lips returned to your neck. The hot, open mouth kisses he started placing there had you shuddering, but it was the sinful movement of his fingers that had your breath hitching. He’d dipped them just below the band of your panties and was running them back and forth in a teasing, tortuously slow rhythm.    

“I can’t stop thinking about last night,” he purred into your ear, the words dripping from his mouth like honey. “I can’t stop thinking about how stunning you looked in that lingerie or how badly I wanted you when I was tied up or how incredible you felt when I finally got to have you.”

“And right now, all I want to do is bend you over this counter and have you again,” he admitted as he pressed his hips forward, letting you feel every inch of his desire.

Momentarily forgetting that you were supposed to be the one in control right now, you spun around in his embrace and crashed your lips against his in a ravenous kiss which he immediately returned. A few seconds later, he picked you up in one swift motion and set you down on the counter, snaking his arms around you once more and pulling you impossibly close. As you continued devouring one another, he began slowly grinding into you, hungrily and greedily swallowing the soft whimpers he drew from you. Your mind was just starting to cloud over with lust when he broke the kiss for a breath of air and suddenly stopped the intoxicating movement of his hips.

“Fuck,” he breathed out, his eyes going wide when he took in your appearance for the first time that morning. “Sweetheart, I’m so sorry.”

“I didn’t mean to do this,” he went on guiltily, his fingers coming up to gently brush the numerous red and purple bruises that dotted your neck.

It wasn’t unusual for Tae to leave marks. He was, after all, rather possessive when you were intimate which you didn’t mind in the slightest. They typically weren’t this severe, though, and were usually in well-hidden places like your chest or inner thigh. You normally warned him if you felt him unknowingly lingering on your neck, collarbone, or any other easily visible part of your body, but last night you didn’t say a word. Last night, when his lips latched onto that sensitive spot just below your ear, you didn’t tell him to stop or push him away. You just let him keep going, softly sucking and biting until the evidence of his passion bloomed on your skin.

“Do they hurt?” he asked quietly, concern written all over his face as he gazed at you.

“Only a little,” you admitted with a tiny grimace.

He frowned apologetically in response and then brought his lips to your neck and placed barely-there kisses over the marks, soothing the tender skin. Eventually, he moved his lips up and along your jaw until they finally found yours. The kisses you then shared were deep and languid, full of longing. They were the kind you loved to get lost in and never wanted to end.

“Let me take you back to bed, Jagi,” he said softly, leaning his forehead against yours as his thumbs rubbed little circles on your inner thighs where a few more love bites were littered.

“Want to be with you,” he murmured. “Take care of you.”

The fire that had been rushing through him moments ago was gone now, but the passion still clearly remained. You could hear it in his voice, the neediness and desperation, the desire to be so close that he couldn’t tell where he ended and you began. You wanted nothing more than to give in, to let him carry you back to bed and make love to you, slowly and gently like you knew he would, but with every fiber of your being you fought that urge.

“Baby, we’re already running late for work,” you reminded him, running your hands through his hair as you spoke. “We don’t have time.”

“Come shower with me then?” he pleaded, bringing his head up and giving you a hopeful look.

“It will be more efficient,” he then stated matter-of-factly, the slightest smirk spreading across his face.

“That is a lie and you know it,” you said with a laugh. “It takes twice as long as it should whenever we shower together.”

“I like to be thorough when I wash you,” he replied simply, his tone casual.

“It wouldn’t take so long if you weren’t such a dirty girl,” he added a moment later, giving you a seductive lip bite and raised eyebrow, a clear last ditch attempt at luring you in.

You couldn’t stop yourself from blushing, but you rolled your eyes at him and shook your head to let him know his cheesy lines weren’t going to work.

“How about this,” you began as an idea suddenly came to you.

“If you be a good boy and go get ready for work now, we can do the photoshoot tonight,” you said, loving the way his eyes went wide at your proposal.

Last night, while the two of you were lying together in a sweaty heap, Tae had hesitantly asked if you would be willing to let him take photos of you in your lingerie. Tastefully erotic photos, he said they would be, ones that would be for his eyes only whenever you were apart and he wanted to be reminded of how exquisite you were. You were a little surprised by the question, but said yes without hesitation; you trusted him completely to keep such photos private. The idea of him wanting photos of you was flattering and honestly a huge turn on. It also only seemed fair given that you had the shirtless selfie he sent you that one time saved on your phone, a photo which you might have glanced at from time to time when you wanted to be reminded of how exquisite he was.

“Deal,” he all but growled, capturing your lips in a quick, but passionate kiss before letting go of you and sauntering off towards the bedroom. Just as he was about to round the corner of the hallway, he turned around, blew you a kiss, and gave you the biggest, boxiest, heart-melting smile.

~~~

You were not usually a spiteful person.

You did not typically take joy in the suffering of others.

You did not truly believe that two wrongs made a right.

However, you simply could not deny the satisfaction and glee you felt later that morning when you rubbed your fluffy, smutty, very real and still perfectly intact relationship in Jisoo’s smug face.

It was just before noon and you were alone with Tae in the studio doing the second fitting for his Big Hit family photoshoot outfit. The shirt and jacket had been just a little bit too snug when he first tried them on a couple weeks ago, no doubt the consequence of him continuing to frequent the Big Hit gym. Having to do a little extra work by letting them out was a price you were absolutely willing to pay, though. You were completely whipped for Tae’s bulging arm muscles, especially when he used them to carry you to the bedroom and throw you down onto the bed.

Everyone else had already finished their fittings and headed out to lunch, but you had purposefully been dragging it out, wanting to still be working with Tae when Jisoo showed up so they could go to the café together like they did every Monday. Tae admitted once that it drove him crazy when you ran your hands all over him during fittings. He said he’d gotten relatively good at keeping it together and not getting too turned on over the last three years, but that his self-restraint had gone completely out the window once you started dating. It was just impossible, he admitted, not to let his mind wander to filthy places when you were touching him with the same hands that tugged at his hair when he pleasured you with his mouth and clawed at his back when he made love to you.

For this reason, you were normally extremely careful about keeping your touches strictly professional, but today you were making no such effort. Knowing he was already worked up from this morning and wanting to tease him further, you let your hands roam a little more freely and linger a little longer than usual. As subtle as you tried to be, though, he instantly picked up on what you were doing.

“You’re killing me right now, sweetheart,” he whispered as you smoothed your hands over his chest to get out the wrinkles.

“I’m sorry, what was that?” you asked sweetly, gazing up at him with big doe eyes.

“You heard me,” he muttered under his breath as he looked down at you with a dark, hungry expression on his face. “You know what you’re doing right now.”

For a few moments you two just stared at each other until eventually you gave him a tiny smirk and looked away.

“You don’t like when I touch you?” you teased quietly as you checked the fit of the waistband of his slacks, brushing your fingers dangerously close to somewhere they definitely shouldn’t be.

“Jagi, fuck,” he groaned.

“I am about two seconds away from dragging you into the dressing room and taking you up against the wall,” he admitted, his voice hushed as he leaned in slightly.

“I’ll put this in that pretty mouth of yours so no one hears you moaning my name,” he growled as he tugged on the scarf you were wearing to hide the hickeys, the same one which you just so happened to use to tie him up with last night.

“I think I’d like that,” you whispered back before giving him a seductive lip bite.

Just then, Jisoo suddenly waltzed into the studio. It was honestly probably for the best that she chose to show up at that precise moment; things had gotten entirely too steamy between you and Tae just now. In your attempt to send him into a lust-driven frenzy, you had failed to acknowledge the effect such an endeavor would have on yourself. The truth was, last night had ruined both of you. With all the teasing you two had done so far today, you were legitimately struggling not to drag him into the dressing room and do a number of scandalous, highly unprofessional things with him.

Glancing over Tae’s shoulder, you found Jisoo wearing a confused and disdainful expression as she took in the sight before her. The two of you were standing awfully close together, gazing at each other lustfully. You were looking very much like two people who had definitely not fought and possibly even broken up over the weekend which is what you can only imagine she hoped to accomplish with her poisonous words on Friday.

“Hi TaeTae,” she said brightly, plastering the fakest smile on her face.

“Hi Jisoo,” Tae replied absentmindedly, not taking his eyes off of you as he licked his lips, clearly still reeling from the intense moment you’d shared just before she arrived.

“Are you ready to go to lunch?” she then asked as she came and stood next to you.

“Hmm?” he replied confusedly as he finally tore his gaze away from you and glanced at her.

“Oh, right. Lunch,” he then said, shaking his head to clear what you knew were some very filthy thoughts.

“Are we done with the fitting, sweetheart?” he asked, the pet name accidentally falling from his perfect lips as he turned back towards you.

You did not miss the way Jisoo’s face scrunched up in distaste upon hearing him call you that. In that moment, it suddenly dawned on you why Tae had likely started also calling you this new, sweet name. He unfortunately had to call Jisoo ‘Jagi’ because that’s the pet name he let slip on national television. You would always be his true ‘Jagi’, but while he was fake dating Jisoo, he wanted you to have a special name that was only for you. Upon realizing this, and noting yet another way he had gone about demonstrating his love, you felt affection bloom uncontrollably in your chest.

“We are,” you replied, raking your eyes down his body in the most unprofessional of ways. “Everything fits perfectly. You look very handsome, as usual.”

“But, please lay off the weights between now and Saturday,” you added flirtatiously. “I won’t have time to alter these again if you keep bulking up.”

He didn’t say anything in response to that, just smirked and wiggled his eyebrows at you suggestively, knowing full-well the absolute last thing you actually wanted was for him to stop lifting.

“Alright, go change,” you said with a laugh.

As he walked away towards the dressing room, you found yourself alone again with Jisoo for the first time since she had deliberately tried to sabotage your relationship. You were still disgusted and frustrated with her, but you were suddenly having some second thoughts about your plan. Maybe it was enough for her just to have seen you and Tae flirting and realized that her attempt to come between you had failed. You wanted to put her in her place, but flat out embarrassing her might be a bit too much. At least, that’s what you thought...until she opened her mouth again.

“I see you’re still pathetically desperate to stay with him,” she sneered. “Even though it’s obvious he doesn't really want you.”

Oh, it’s on bitch.

“I don’t know,” you mused, pretending to actually contemplate what she had said. “He seemed to want me last night.”

As you spoke, you casually removed your scarf, giving Jisoo a full view of your neck, in all it’s colorful, passionate glory. The look on her face when she saw the hickeys was absolutely delicious; her eyes went wide as saucers and her mouth hung open.

“If you think these are bad, you should see the ones on my inner thigh,” you said innocently as you gently ran your fingers over the marks.

She audibly scoffed and rolled her eyes at your remarks, but you could just tell that she was pissed to have been so boldly presented with the proof of your intimate night with Tae.

“I’ve got some bruises on my hips too, but those were from him holding so tightly,” you went on casually, knowing you didn’t need to elaborate in order for her to understand exactly why he was gripping you like that.

“As fantastic as he was in bed, though, the best part of the weekend was definitely him calling me his future wife and mother of his children,” you then said honestly.

While Jisoo stood there, momentarily stunned by everything you had just unleashed upon her, you whipped out your phone and sent Tae a text which you were certain would catch his attention.

[11:53 AM] What would you say if I told you I wanted leftovers from last night’s delicious meal for lunch today?

[Taehyung 11:53 AM] I would tell you to get in your car right now and drive straight home.

[Taehyung 11:53 AM] So I can meet you there and serve them to you over and over again until you are satisfied.

[11:54 AM] I want them.

[11:54 AM] I need them.

[Taehyung 11:54 AM] You’re going to get them, sweetheart.

[Taehyung 11:54 AM] Meet me at home in 20 minutes.

“He was insatiable last night,” you then added, smiling at her as you looked up from your phone. “In fact, I think he’s still hungry for more.”

A moment later, Tae came out of the dressing room and started back towards you two. He looked slightly disheveled, the result of hastily throwing his clothes back on, and his hair was adorably messy. There was a deliciously dark gleam in his eyes and the faintest smirk upon his lips.

“Hey, I’m sorry but I just realized I have to run home real quick,” he said to Jisoo once he had reached the two of you. “I...uhh, forgot something.”

“But, we’re supposed to have lunch together today,” she said back, her tone one of obvious annoyance as she looked at him incredulously.

“We’ll have lunch tomorrow,” he promised as he put on his coat.

“Besides, people already saw us getting tea together at the café this morning,” he added, giving her a friendly smile. “So we’ve put on our show for the day.”

Tae reminding her that their ‘relationship’ was all for show was the absolute icing on the cake. She was seething as she glared back at him, but he was completely oblivious to her displeasure.

Since no one else would have been there to see it, he didn’t even bother to give her a goodbye hug or kiss. He just said bye and gave her a small wave. Before turning to leave, he leaned in real quick and whispered in your ear, ‘See you soon, Jagi’, shot you a wink and a devilish grin, and then quickly left the room.

As soon he was out of sight, you threw on your own coat and began packing up your bag. You thought maybe you should say something else to Jisoo, but ultimately decided against it. She knew exactly what was going on, knew Tae had clearly chosen you over her just now. At this point, there was nothing more that needed to be said. You had won.

“He’s lying to you,” she said darkly just as you were beginning to walk away.

You stilled, letting her words wash over you for just a moment before you shoved them aside and kept walking

“And, you’re lying to yourself,” you replied calmly, not even bothering to look back at her.

~~~

Approximately 20 minutes later, you were tangled with Tae beneath the sheets of your bed, your clothes strewn on the floor in a trail that started in the foyer and ended in the bedroom. He had gotten home before you and had been anxiously waiting there for you. The second you closed the apartment door he was on you, pinning you against it and capturing your lips in a hungry kiss. He roughly pulled your shirt up and off and from there the situation quickly devolved into delightfully filthy chaos.

“Jagi, you’ve ruined me once again,” Tae said afterwards, still breathing heavily as he turned to face you. “I’m going to want leftovers for lunch every day now.”

“They are incredibly delicious,” you said coyly, leaning over and giving him a kiss on the cheek.

“But, people would definitely notice if we just so happened to both take a long lunch every day only to come back basking in a post-sex afterglow,” you then added with a laugh.

“That is true,” he agreed glumly as an adorable pout spread across his face.

“They are also going to notice if we don’t get back soon,” you said after a few moments, gently extracting yourself from his sweaty embrace.

“You're right,” he sighed. "We should get going."

“I’m going to take a quick shower first,” he then said, planting a kiss on your forehead before rising from the bed and heading towards the bathroom.

After watching him walk away, and shamelessly admiring his incredibly cute butt in the process, you grabbed your phone off the bedside table to check your email. A few minutes later you were reading through one Mrs. Choi had just sent out about the upcoming photoshoot when you heard Tae’s phone buzzing from the pocket of his pants that were laying on the floor. It rang several times, stopped, and then immediately started ringing again. After climbing out of bed and fishing it out of the pocket, you glanced down at the screen and saw Jimin’s name.

“Tae, Jimin is calling,” you said as you walked into the bathroom where he was still showering.

“Shit,” you heard him mutter. “I was supposed to meet him at 12:30 to help him with a song he wants to record.”

“Can you text him and let him know I’ll be a little late?” he then asked.

“Yea, sure thing,” you replied before heading back into the bedroom.

Entering in Tae’s password and navigating to his messages, you tapped on Jimin’s name and texted a quick, ‘Running late. Be there around 1. Sorry!’. You were just about to set his phone down on the bed beside you when something suddenly caught your eye. A few rows down from the message thread with Jimin was a thread with a contact name that was simply the letter ‘J’. The cryptic name had caused a little knot to form in your stomach, but it was the most recent message this person had sent that instantly had your blood running cold.

Can’t wait to finish what we started 😉

Hating yourself for being that girlfriend who was so insecure that she stooped to the level of snooping, but feeling in your gut that something just wasn’t right, you clicked on that fateful message.

Yesterday

[J 1:29 PM] Are you still stopping by later today?

[Taehyung 1:31 PM] Yea. I’ll be there around 3:00.

[J 1:35 PM] Sounds good. Text me when you’re here and I’ll let you in the back door.

[Taehyung 3:05 PM] Here.

Today

[Taehyung 8:17 AM] Sorry I had to leave so quickly yesterday.

[Taehyung 8:18 AM] I had to take care of something.

[Taehyung 8:19 AM] When can I come by again?

[J 8:20 AM] Friday evening?

[Taehyung 8:21 AM] Works for me.

[J 8:22 AM] Great. I’ll see you then.

[J 8:23 AM] Can’t wait to finish what we started 😉

This time there was no mistaking it. There was nothing to have accidentally forgotten. There was no other possible explanation. The proof was right in front of you sitting heavily in the palm of your shaking hand.

Yesterday afternoon, Tae lied to you.

He lied about where he was.

He lied about who he was with.

He lied about what he was doing.

Jisoo was right.

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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 46 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 3.2k

warnings: none

Chapter 46: Lying To Yourself - Part 1

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You stood there frozen, your feet rooted to the spot by the crushing weight of the revelation you held in your hand. From the bathroom came the unmistakable sound of Tae singing none other than ‘Sweet Night’, but you sadly found no comfort in the loving words he sang in his rich, baritone voice. Why? Because that same voice blatantly lied to you yesterday and probably last week too, you now realized. Although your mind was currently racing with a million unanswered questions, there was one that clearly stood out above all the rest:

Who was ‘J’?

The answer which immediately came to mind was the most heartbreaking one imaginable: that it was Jisoo. After all, she was the one who pointed out Tae’s ‘forgetfulness’ last week and who also, less than an hour ago, uttered those words which you once thought to be complete nonsense and now realized were frighteningly true:

He’s lying to you.

However, it occurred to you a second later that Tae already had her number saved in his phone under her full name. You had seen it yourself when he showed you his text conversation with her last Sunday. After quickly going back to the list of messages, you found the one with her name a few rows up. Tapping on it, you saw all of their most recent exchanges which were incredibly mundane and transactional.

‘I’m in the parking garage.’

‘Meet you at the café in 10.’

‘Heading to your studio now.’

You momentarily relaxed before it dawned on you that ‘J’ could still be Jisoo texting from another phone. That seemed a bit unbelievable, but up until five minutes ago the idea that Tae had lied about what he did yesterday would have seemed unbelievable too. The ease with which he had led you to believe he was going to the dorms to see the guys was alarming, as was how elaborate his cover up was. He had gone so far as to fabricate an entire conversation he had with them about why he had to leave before ‘dinner’ started.

It made you nauseous to know that you had sent those photos of yourself to him without knowing where he was or what he was doing. But, it made you absolutely sick that you had then allowed yourself to be so physically and emotionally vulnerable with him once he came home. Knowing he had lied and then been intimate with you like that just made you feel so betrayed.

Looking around the very room where you had done those intimate things together and shared those intimate words, you were suddenly overcome with an intense urge to flee, to get as far away from here and him as humanly possible.

So that’s what you did. You fled.

As you sprinted through the apartment, hastily throwing on the clothes you found strewn on the floor as you went, you tried to wrap your head around just how quickly everything had fallen apart. Ten minutes ago you were on top of the world after putting Jisoo in her place and now here you were utterly flailing, questioning everything that had once seemed so certain. You felt so embarrassed, truly mortified, to have put on that show for her only to discover now that she was right: Tae was lying to you.

What exactly he was lying about remained to be seen, but it was clear what Jisoo wanted you to think it was. She had not-so-subtly alluded to it last Friday. Over the weekend you had convinced yourself that she was full of shit, but those texts made it so much harder to continue believing that. You simply could not deny how your stomach churned every time you thought about the last message ‘J’ had sent.

Can’t wait to finish what we started 😉

The rest of their conversation had been very ordinary, almost business-like, but that message changed the tone entirely. It was so overtly suggestive that it was impossible to read those words and not imagine the worst. And that’s exactly what you were doing right now: imagining the worst.

Tae secretly going to her apartment yesterday afternoon. The two of them together on the couch, her straddling him and grinding against him as his hands wandered over her body and they devoured each other. How they might have been just moments away from moving to the bedroom when your texts interrupted them. How he would have sighed in frustration when he realized he’d have to go home and ‘take care of you’ so you wouldn’t be suspicious. How much he was probably looking forward to going back to her on Friday so they could ‘finish what they started’ and go all the way.

The thought of Tae cheating on you made your heart ache with such excruciating pain that by the time you reached the apartment door you were sobbing and hyperventilating. You didn’t know where you were going to go or what you were going to do. All you knew was that you needed to go somewhere, do something to make the hurting stop.

Your hand was literally on the doorknob, about to turn it so you could make your escape, when suddenly you felt your phone vibrate in your back pocket. Pulling it out, you realized that it actually wasn’t your phone, but Tae’s. In your haste to flee the apartment, you had accidentally taken it with you instead of your own. Unable to contain your curiosity, you glanced down at the screen through tear-filled eyes to find a new message from Jimin.

[Jimin 12:38 PM] Sounds good. Also, as soon as you get here I want to hear how yesterday went. You never texted me afterwards!

Upon reading those words, the vice that had been steadily tightening around your lungs and threatening to suffocate you loosened ever so slightly. Closing your eyes and relaxing your shoulders, you allowed yourself to breathe a tiny, hesitant sigh of relief. Jimin was one of the most kind, loyal, wonderful people you had ever met in your entire life. Tae loved and respected him more than anyone in the whole world. If Jimin knew what Tae was doing, and was asking about it all excitedly, then there was no way it involved Jisoo in an inappropriate way.

Right?

With this new piece of the puzzle in place, you began considering all new possibilities for what Tae might be doing and why he might not be telling you about it. Maybe it was something Jimin or one of the other guys asked him to keep private. Maybe it was something BTS-related that he wasn’t able to share with you yet. Maybe it was something about his upcoming mixtape. Maybe he wrote you another song that was meant to be a surprise. Maybe it was your Christmas present. Whatever it was, if Jimin was on board with it then it must be OK.

Right?

You were pulled from your thoughts when you heard the sound of little footsteps coming up behind you. Turning around, you were met with the sight of Tannie staring up at you with his adorably angry eyes. As you looked down at him, you had a flashback to the day you overheard Tae in the kitchen on the phone. You remembered how truly devastated he was when he realized you had allowed yourself to believe he was using you for sex. You remembered how broken he looked as he laid there beside you, the way his tears slowly trickled down his beautiful face. You remembered that you had almost ruined everything by accusing him of something without knowing all the facts.

Were you now about to make that exact same mistake? Were you jumping to conclusions, yet again, and letting your fears and Jisoo’s manipulative words cloud your judgement? Or, were your worries and suspicions valid? Should you tell Tae you went through his messages and confront him about what you discovered, a choice which would almost certainly reveal that you were questioning his faithfulness? Or, should you say nothing? Should you trust that whatever he was doing and whatever reasons he had for not telling you about it, he loved you unconditionally, was wholly committed to your relationship, and would never do anything to hurt you?

The weight of all of those unanswered questions was absolutely crushing. It was all just too much. You were so terribly confused, so painfully conflicted. Every choice you considered making somehow seemed to be the wrong one. No matter what you did, someone would get hurt. You just felt so trapped. Trapped by your contract and the forbidden nature of your relationship. Trapped by the fake dating cover and your dependency on Jisoo. Trapped by your own insecurity and inability to understand or communicate your thoughts and feelings.  

Slumping against the door and sliding down to the floor in a heap, you let out a strangled, frustrated sob. Tannie immediately picked up on your distress, climbed onto your lap, and began trying to comfort you with kisses.

“I don’t know what to do, Tannie,” you cried into his fur as you held him close. “I just don’t know what to do.”

After sitting there with him for a few more minutes, you ultimately came to the realization that you were not in the right state of mind to make any sort of decision about what to do moving forward. At the moment, you were totally overwhelmed and not thinking straight, still reeling from the roller coaster of emotions you’d experienced in the last hour. What you needed more than anything was to take a step back and get yourself together. You needed time and space to think through everything and figure out how you really felt before you said or did something you might one day regret.

Slowly, you got up off the floor and quietly crept back to the bedroom to find Tae miraculously still in the shower. You dropped his phone down onto the bed, grabbed your own, and then opened the bathroom door just a bit. Speaking through the crack so he couldn’t see your tear stained face, you told him Eunji had called saying Mrs. Choi was looking for you and that you needed to head back immediately. He bought your lie easily, saying it was actually a good idea for you to return at different times. You said goodbye, told him you loved him, and then left for Big Hit.

You spent the rest of the day on edge and in a daze, trying desperately to sort through the tangled mess inside your head. Tae was busy with meetings and rehearsal which you were so thankful for; there was absolutely no way you would be able to keep it together if he was there with you in the studio. Although you held back any tears that threatened to fall, you spent all afternoon teetering on the edge of a breakdown. Several times Mrs. Choi came over to you asking if everything was OK and each time you replied with the same, ‘I’m fine’. You got the sense she wasn’t buying it, but thankfully she did not press you further.

As the initial shock of discovering Tae’s deception began to slowly wear off, you found you were able to think more rationally about the situation. With every passing second, your belief that Jisoo was the true root of the problem grew stronger. While there was no way for her to have known you would stumble upon that text conversation, you had no doubt she was hoping you would catch Tae in a lie at some point and get the wrong idea. The fact that she knew he was working on something private and was manipulating the situation to make it seem like he was cheating was truly sickening. Her behavior demonstrated a whole new level of cruelty, one that was incredibly disturbing and honestly frightening.

There was a part of you that wanted to tell Tae about Jisoo’s scheming, but deep down you were still terrified that doing so might do more harm than good. Other than the night of your nightmare, Tae had never once acknowledged that anything he did as part of the fake dating cover could lead you to question his faithfulness. Did that not occur to him because the idea of cheating was something he couldn’t even fathom? Could he truly be so committed and devoted to you, so trusting in your love and the strength of your relationship, that it never even crossed his mind that you might have doubts? You wanted so desperately for that to be true and the more you thought about Tae’s genuine, innocent nature, the more convinced you were that it was.

It was for this very reason, though, that you were so weary of even hinting at this devastating accusation. If you leveled it against him, you could never take it back. There was not a doubt in your mind that it would crush him to know you’d had these terrible thoughts about him. Even if Jisoo was the one who put them there in the first place, you still feared he might never be able to look at you the same if you told him. You feared he would forever doubt your trust in him and that your relationship would never fully recover.

Despite all that, though, you could not ignore the flickers of doubt and fear that lingered all afternoon in the dark corners of your mind. They were there, threatening to derail your every thought, and you knew they would remain there until you spoke with Tae about what he was hiding. By the time you got home you had finally come to a decision about what to do. You would take the rest of the week to settle down and then confront him on Friday, the next time he went to meet with ‘J’. You wouldn’t mention Jisoo or the texts, you would just ask him point blank where he was really going, give him a chance to explain, and hope that the conversation that followed would put to rest any of your remaining worries.

All you needed to do was just stay calm and act natural until then. You needed to take time to think through what you wanted to say to Tae and how you wanted to say it. That way you could relay your thoughts and concerns without accusing him, hurting him, and making the situation worse. If you could just kept it together for the next few days and have a rational discussion with him on Friday, everything would be OK.

Sadly, though, you soon came to realize just how difficult a task that would prove to be. 

When Tae got home a little while later, you were in the bedroom about to change out of your work clothes. You were so lost in thought, once again pondering the days’ unsettling events, that you didn’t hear him come into the room. Before you even knew what was happening, he was wrapping his arms around you from behind in an intimate embrace.

“Is my muse ready?” he hummed in your ear before placing a little kiss on your neck.

The instant you felt his touch, you flinched. It wasn’t subtle either; your entire body violently recoiled. A second later, as your mind involuntarily filled with awful thoughts of where else his hands and lips might have been, you instinctively stepped forward and tore yourself away from him. For the next few moments you just stood there, eyes screwed shut as you tried to calm your racing heart. You truly had not meant to react that way, but you just couldn’t help it. The heartbreaking truth, a truth which was so hard to admit to yourself, but impossible to deny, was that the first thing you felt when he touched you like that was panic.

Your unease grew exponentially when you realized what he was referring to when he called you his ‘muse’: the photoshoot in your lingerie. Just this morning you had been as eager as he was to do it, but after everything that had happened today, and with all of the questions and doubts still swirling in your head, the idea of being that vulnerable with him was just unthinkable. What was even more distressing, though, was that the very thought of being intimate with him in any capacity made you unbearably uncomfortable.

Slowly turning to face him, you found him wearing a completely shocked and undeniably wounded expression. At the sight of him standing there, looking so broken, your heart plummeted in your chest. You hated yourself for hurting him, the man you loved and wanted to spend the rest of your life with, but the feelings inside you right now were so overwhelming they just couldn’t be ignored. There were no two ways around it; you didn’t trust him right now. Not fully, not like you once did, not enough to give yourself to him again.

“Jagi?” he asked quietly as he looked at you expectantly.

“I-I’m sorry,” you stammered out, praying he couldn’t tell how nervous you were right now. “You just surprised me.”

“And, I’m...I’m just not feeling that well right now,” you then added weakly.

It was a blatant lie, but you had no idea what else to say. You were confused and terrified by your own feelings, and were nowhere near ready to try and talk about them, but you needed some sort of explanation for what was happening.

“Sweetheart, what’s wrong?” he asked tenderly, his expression instantly morphing to one of concern.

“I have a headache and I feel a little nauseous,” you said hesitantly, hating yourself more and more with every insincere word that left your lips.

“When did this start?” he then questioned, the worry now deeply etched on his face.

“This afternoon,” you replied as you averted your eyes from his intense gaze.

“I'll be fine,” you then added, trying to diffuse the situation. “I just need to rest a little.”

He was quiet for a few moments as he studied you rather intently, his dark eyes searching yours as a look of slight suspicion flashed across his face. For a split second you thought he was going to call you out and ask what was really wrong, but then his expression softened.

“OK, if you’re sure,” was all he finally said as he tentatively brought his hands up to rest on your upper arms.

It took an enormous amount of self control, but you didn’t shudder at his touch. As he began gently rubbing his thumbs back and forth, you tried to relax and allow yourself to be comforted by the gesture that you knew was meant to be soothing.

“Why don’t you put on some comfy clothes and get cozy on the couch?” he then suggested. “I’ll make you dinner and then we can cuddle and watch something?”

“OK,” you agreed with a tight-lipped smile. “That sounds good”.

He gave you a hesitant smile in return before leaning in and pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. Blinking back tears as you watched him then turn around and walk away, you tried to convince yourself that everything was going to be OK. These feelings you had towards him were just temporary. They were the lingering effects of your body’s earlier flight or fight response, but they would subside.

Right?

‘This is Tae, my Tae’, you told yourself as a single tear escaped and rolled down your cheek.

He loves me.

I love him.

We’ll be OK.

Right?

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A Penny For Your Thoughts

Would you rather have:

Two chapters, each about 3k long, one that’s mostly buildup and the other with all the action.

OR

One long ass chapter with everything together

?!?!?

Too Good To Be True - Ch. 47 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 5.8k

warnings: none

A/N: The long ass chapter was unanimously voted for so here it is! I hope you enjoy. Also, I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hear your thoughts and reactions and predictions :)

Chapter 47: Lying To Yourself - Part 2

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There are moments in your life that you know without question you will never forget. They are indelible, monumental ones with profound and lasting effects, ones during which everything changes and after which you know you will never be the same.

The moment in your backyard when your mom told you her diagnosis was one.

The moment on the beach when Tae first called you his and kissed your temple was another.

The moment in your bedroom when you unconsciously recoiled from him was the most recent.

The panic and unease that you felt when he touched you subsided by the time he left the room, but by then the damage had already been done. The look on his face after you pulled away from him had caused a fracture somewhere deep down in your heart. From it emanated a dull, throbbing ache that reverberated throughout every corner of your body right down to the very core of your being. Tae was the love of your life. He was one day going to be your husband and father of your children. He was your home.

But you had let things get so bad, had kept so many secrets and let your mental health deteriorate to such an extent that, for the briefest of moments, you had been afraid of him.

Feelings of immense shame and deep regret began welling up inside you almost instantly and only intensified as the night progressed and Tae showered you with a level of love and attention that you felt wholly undeserving of.

He made one of his grandmother’s recipes for dinner, one he said she always made for him whenever he wasn’t feeling well. Once he was done, he didn’t call you into the kitchen, he brought a plate to you right there in the living room. After settling in behind you on the couch with your back to his chest, he proceeded to feed you with one hand and hold you close with the other. As if that wasn’t adorable enough, he spent the whole time saying sweet things like, ‘Have to take care of my Jagi’ and ‘Want my sweetheart to feel better’. Later on, after you had watched several episodes of your show and were starting to drift off, he carried you to bed and tucked you in.

The flood of guilt that poured down upon you that night as you tried and failed to fall asleep nearly drowned you. Tae had given you everything. Not just that night, but every night and every day since that moment on the beach. He had shown you over and over again how much he loved and respected and cherished you, but still you let in doubts about him, stomping all over his unwavering support and commitment with your unfounded mistrust and suspicion.

Yes, you were in a unique, complicated, and stressful situation by dating Tae in secret and having a fake dating cover. Yes, you were being harassed and manipulated by a selfish, conniving bitch who was clearly determined to ruin your relationship. But, at the end of the day, you were ultimately the one to blame for your life’s current state of disrepair.

You didn’t speak up.

You didn’t ask for help.

You didn’t take control of your own life.

As you laid there in Tae’s arms, the faint, but steady panging in your chest a cruel reminder of the hurt you had caused to you both, your mind latched onto a small flicker of hope.

It’s not too late to fix this.

Right?

~~~

Monday night you had lied when you said you didn’t feel well, but over the course of the next few days you found yourself feeling legitimately ill as you toiled over how to fix the mess you had created. Your head hurt all the time, no doubt from the turbulent thoughts that endlessly swirled through your mind. You felt nauseous when you remembered the awful things you’d allowed yourself to imagine or thought about how close you’d been to ruining everything. Your body ached from head to toe, though, nothing hurt quite as much as your heart. And, you were tired, so, very tired.

You knew these physical symptoms were psychosomatic, mere manifestations of the emotional stress you were experiencing, but Tae didn’t and immediately went into concerned, protective boyfriend mode. Whenever he asked what you thought might be wrong you said you just felt off and not like yourself which was technically the truth. You told him not to worry, though, and that you were sure you would feel better soon which was also the truth. At the end of the week, once you talked to him and made a plan for how to move forward together, you would feel better.

However, your reassurances unfortunately did nothing to quell his worries. He spent all week fretting about your health and doting on you, making sure you were comfortable and taken care of at all times. Around the apartment, he didn’t let you lift a finger. Despite your protests, he insisted on doing all the cooking and cleaning and laundry. He was also extremely physically affectionate, giving you shoulder massages and endless forehead kisses and all the cuddles, but he thankfully didn’t push for any kind of intimacy. Although the thought of it no longer made you uncomfortable, you wanted to wait until after you talked to be with him again.

He kept pleading for you to stay home from work and rest and even began threatening to tell Mrs. Choi that you were pushing yourself through sickness. You assured him it wasn’t that serious and that you were fine to keep working, but made an appointment with your doctor for next week anyway to appease him. It had been your plan to eventually make one anyway to discuss birth control options so the timing worked out.

While at work he was more affectionate and protective than ever before. Every day, he left one of your favorite dark chocolate truffles on the counter next to the ‘Best Friend Tata’ along with a secret, sweet note. When Mrs. Choi asked you to bring up some boxes from the storage closet downstairs, he offered to go with you and then refused to let you take any, carrying all three up by himself. He reminded you to stay hydrated throughout the day and refilled your water bottle every time it was close to empty. He even once accidentally gave your back an affectionate rub after you casually mentioned it was sore which thankfully no one saw.

All week long Jisoo seemed to be an afterthought to him, that is, if he even remembered at all that they were supposed to ‘dating’. He skipped all his cafe lunches with her and instead opted to eat with you in the break room. Clearly not wanting to leave your side unless absolutely necessary, he never went over to her studio. The few times she came to visit your studio, he paid her little mind and instead kept his focus on you, periodically asking how you were feeling or if there was anything you needed.

Although your original plan of purposefully rubbing your relationship in Jisoo’s face had gone out the window after the whole ‘J’ text message discovery, you realized partway through the week that Tae was unintentionally doing it anyway. Her displeasure over his lack of attention to her was deliciously obvious to you and the fact that he didn’t notice whatsoever made it all the sweeter. If him skipping lunch with her to have sex with you was winning the battle, then him basically forgetting about her existence because he was so concerned for your well-being was definitely winning the war.

You felt somewhat guilty for not telling him the real reason why you weren’t feeling well and for keeping him at arm’s length, but the space you created for yourself by doing so gave you some much-needed perspective regarding your current situation and its implications for your future together. Originally, you just wanted to confront him about what it was that he was hiding, but it dawned on you Monday night that doing so would only be addressing the symptom of a greater problem: the lack of trust and stability in your relationship. As the week progressed, and you thought through all that had happened and everything you were feeling, you eventually came to several crucial, long-overdue realizations.

By Tuesday, you knew you needed to come clean about everything you had been bottling up this past month. You were concealing your true feelings so as not to hurt him, but concealing your true feelings was causing him pain anyway. The longer you went without sharing them, the more damage they would cause when they inevitably spilled out. It would be painful for you both to talk about your deep-seated insecurities and the ways in which he had inadvertently hurt you, but together you would heal and your relationship would be that much stronger.

By Wednesday, you knew you needed to put an end to the fake dating immediately. Tae was fake dating Jisoo to protect your relationship, but fake dating Jisoo was putting your relationship in even greater danger than before. She had proven she could not be trusted and that her intentions were purely selfish. She was a deadly, toxic leech and it was clear she would keep taking from you until there was nothing left if given the chance. If Bang PD or anyone else still had doubts after they broke up, so be it. That was a risk you were willing to take to get her out of your life and take away the power she currently had over you.

By Thursday, though, you had come to the biggest, most consequential realization of all. You were at your station getting ready to head home for the day when Eunji and Donghae came over. You assumed they were coming over to gossip or just say goodbye…until you noticed they were holding hands. In hindsight, you shouldn’t have been surprised to learn they were dating. There had always been a little spark between them. You had always felt ever-so-slightly like a third wheel when you were all together.

Truly, though, you couldn’t be happier for them; they made a great couple. The excitement radiating off of them was contagious, and you found your mood lifting instantly just seeing them beam at one another all sappily. However, it was something Eunji said that had the most profound effect on you.

‘It just feels so good to say it out loud and not have to hide it anymore.'

That was the precise moment when you finally accepted a truth you had been avoiding for days: you needed to leave Big Hit. You were keeping your relationship a secret so you could be together, but keeping your relationship a secret was tearing you apart. You had come to this conclusion once before only to have Tae then convince you otherwise. His heart was absolutely in the right place when he did so, and you did not fault him for trying to preserve what seemed to be the ideal situation, but you knew now that the dream of being with him at Big Hit and with him was just too good to be true.

Sneaking around, keeping secrets, lying to everyone. You simply could not keep living like that for the next five plus years. It wasn’t healthy. It wasn’t safe. It wasn’t fair. The truth, you now realized, was that you needed more. You both deserved more. You didn't deserve to have to keep things hidden, to be made to feel like your love was shameful and what you were doing was wrong. You deserved to be in a relationship where you felt secure, one where you could openly give and receive all the love and support you needed.

You leaving Big Hit would certainly present new challenges to your relationship, but if Tae loved you like you thought he did, he would understand it was truly the right decision. If you wanted that beautiful future he told you about - the kids, the big house in the countryside, the happily ever after - then this was a sacrifice that needed to be made.

Coming to all of these realizations had been a difficult and emotionally draining process, but you knew that sharing them with Tae was going to be even harder. No matter how carefully you chose your words, no matter how calmly you spoke, he was going to get extremely upset. For that reason, you thought long and hard about when to have this big, life-changing conversation.

Originally, you had planned to talk to him tomorrow before he met up with ‘J’, but he had actually not yet mentioned that he was going anywhere. If he wasn’t going out after all, you thought it might be best to wait until after the Big Hit family photoshoot on Saturday; dropping this bomb the night before seemed rather cruel. However, when you remembered that Jisoo was going to be there, and that she was going to be putting on a big show with Tae for Bang PD, you knew you couldn’t wait. You had to talk to him tomorrow.

You were looking forward to relaxing and enjoying this last evening with him before everything changed, but as soon as you got home from work you noticed Tae was a little off. He was strangely quiet throughout all of dinner and then only grew more withdrawn once you started cuddling on the couch watching Netflix. You were just about to ask him what was wrong when he suddenly paused the episode you were watching.

For the next few minutes he didn’t say anything, but you swear you could just hear him thinking. Eventually, he gently turned you around in his arms so you were facing him. The way he was nervously biting his lips and fidgeting his hands on your waist instantly set off alarm bells in your head. He looked so scared right now and your immediate thought was that he somehow knew what you were planning to tell him tomorrow.

“Jagi, the reason why you aren’t feeling well...is it because...are you…,” he began apprehensively before his voice trailed off.

You waited anxiously for him to finish that sentence and admit he somehow knew you had spent all week having an existential crisis which ultimately resulted in your decision to leave Big Hit. Taking a slow, deep breath, he gave you one last searching look before continuing.

“A-Are you pregnant?” he finally asked in a shaky, breathy voice.

Upon hearing his words, your eyes went wide. That was the absolute last thing you thought he was going to ask you.

“It’s just...I know it can happen even when you use protection and you brought up birth control for the first time on Sunday and now you’re suddenly feeling nauseous and achy and exhausted without any other explanation,” he rushed out.

“I can’t help but wonder if you took a test after we talked and found out you are, but that you’re afraid to tell me because you think I’ll be upset and not want you to keep it,” he then added, the hurt in his voice unmistakable.

“I know it would be really overwhelming and even a little scary if you were, but it hurts me to think that you wouldn’t want to tell me,” he went on, now getting a bit emotional. “That you think I wouldn’t be supportive.”

“Because the truth is, if you told me right now that you were pregnant I would be the happiest man in the world,” he said softly.

“I always saw us starting our family in the next few years before I went into the military so if we unintentionally got a head start that would be perfectly OK,” he then admitted with a hesitant smile.

“I would take care of you, sweetheart,” he added earnestly as he cupped your cheek with his hand. “We would get married and I would take care of you and our baby and I would be so unbelievably happy.”

For a few moments you simply stared back at him in stunned silence. You didn’t know what shocked you more, that your behavior this week had led him to this conclusion or the fact that he wouldn’t be at all upset if you had accidentally gotten pregnant. In all honesty, you always thought it would be many years before he’d want to get married and then many more after that before he’d want to start a family. As much as he loved kids, you assumed he wouldn’t want to start having them at the height of his career with BTS.

His declaration that he wouldn’t just be there for you, but would be genuinely excited, was by far the sweetest, most romantic thing he’d ever said to you. In that moment, you knew with absolute certainty that you and him were going to be OK. The changes that were coming would be difficult, yes, but you would get through them together.

You had half a mind to tell him everything right then and there, but you soon found yourself overcome with emotion. You felt guilty that you’d caused him to worry like this. You felt relieved that you would still be able to tell him of your decision on your own terms tomorrow. But, mostly you just felt grateful. Grateful that he was yours. Grateful to have his love.

“Tae, I’m not pregnant,” was all you managed to get out before you buried your face in his neck and began crying happy tears.

“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” Tae quickly said as he hugged you tightly to his chest. “I didn’t mean to make you upset.”

“I was just worried,” he then added before placing a tender kiss on your temple. “You’ve never gotten sick like this before and I was worried and then I started thinking about things and Googling your symptoms and that made me more worried but also kind of excited and I just wanted to make sure and-“

You stopped his adorable rambling by gently pressing your lips to his.

“Baby, I’m not upset,” you said softly. “These are good tears.”

“I just love you so much,” you then added as you kissed the tip of his nose.

“I love you too,” he replied, gazing at you with a look of such adoration it made your heart melt.

“When the time comes, I promise you’ll be the first to know,” you then said with a shy smile.

“OK, Jagi,” he said back, giving you a big, boxy smile as he brushed away a stray tear with his thumb.

The two of you then spent the rest of the night holding each other close, sharing tender, lingering kisses, and whispering sweet nothings. This time, as you laid there in his arms, you felt the ache in your heart fade and the flicker of hope grow with each passing second.

You wouldn’t just fix it, you would make it better than ever before.

~~~

The following morning when you woke up, you felt better than you had in a long time. You felt well-rested, having fallen asleep rather quickly and finally gotten a decent night’s sleep. More than that, though, you felt at peace. At peace with your decision and the new direction your life with Tae was going to take. You were certainly still a little anxious about actually having the conversation, but last night gave you all the reassurance you needed to know that he would understand and support you.

After enjoying some lazy morning snuggles with him which Tannie boldly intruded on, the two of you eventually got yourselves out of bed and dressed for work. A short while later you were in the kitchen sipping coffee and reading the news when Tae came in.

“Hey, I just realized that I forgot to tell you I’m going over to Jimin's tonight for dinner,” he said casually as he began making himself some tea. “We realized on Monday that we haven’t really hung out in a while.”

“He says he’s worried you’ve replaced him as my soulmate,” he went on with a laugh. “He’s absolutely right, but I can’t let him know that just yet.”

The laugh you let out in response was hearty and genuine. All week long you had been waiting for this moment, but now that it was here you realized you didn’t want to press him and force him to reveal the truth. You trusted Tae, wholly and unequivocally. Whatever he was doing, whatever project he was working on, you believed with all your heart that he had a perfectly valid reason for not telling you about it yet, that it had absolutely nothing to do with Jisoo, and that it wasn’t anything you needed to worry about. It would probably come up anyway when you talked about everything tonight; there was no need to interrogate him about it right now.

“I suppose I could share you for a little while,” you said back in an exaggeratedly disappointed voice.

“Will you be out late you think?” you then questioned lightly, hoping he wouldn’t because your talk would probably take a fair amount of time.

“No, definitely not,” he assured you with a smile. “Not with the shoot tomorrow.”

“Ok, I’ll wait up for you then,” you replied nonchalantly.

“I’d like that,” he said back shyly, turning to give you a little smile. “I don’t like to go to bed without saying goodnight to you.”

Blushing a bit at his sweet words, you gave him a bashful smile of your own as you felt yourself relax a tiny bit more.

Tonight is going to go just fine

The day went by incredibly quickly. There was so much you and the other stylists needed to do to prepare for the photoshoot that there was hardly time to even think about your impending talk with Tae. You did, however, schedule a meeting with Mrs. Choi for Monday morning. Assuming your talk tonight went well, you would need to let her know about your plans to leave Big Hit. You were thinking it would be best to leave just before the holidays and wanted to give her enough time to find a replacement before then.

You also needed to give yourself time to find another job. Where you wanted to work next was something you hadn’t figured out yet and obviously needed to talk over with Tae. Given your experience, it made sense to go work with another group at one of the other management companies, but part of you wondered if it would be best to leave the music industry altogether. Perhaps you could take Park Seo-joon up on his offer and get a job working on a TV show. It would be different, for sure, but maybe the change would be good and would make you miss Big Hit and Tae a little less.

You only saw him once during the day when he dropped by the studio to pick something up from the storage closet. As he walked by the table where you were ironing his outfit for tomorrow, he shot you a wink which immediately made your heart flutter. Biting back a smile, you quickly looked down and got back to work. You would definitely miss being able to enjoy little moments like this with him, but you knew that having a healthy, solid relationship would be infinitely more rewarding.

As you were packing up at the end of the day, grateful not to be getting out ridiculously late, you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket.

[Taehyung 5:03 PM] I’m heading off to Jimin’s now.

[Taehyung 5:03 PM] I’ll see you later tonight, sweetheart.

[Taehyung 5:04 PM] I love you so much 💜

[5:04 PM] Have fun!

[5:04 PM] I love you too 💜

During the drive home it finally hit you that tonight was the night that would change everything. You had managed to stay calm throughout the day, but you were officially starting to get nervous now. It’s not that you didn’t think your conversation would go well because you absolutely believed that it would. You just knew it was going to be a tough one, filled with many tears on both sides.

Once you got home you changed into pajamas, had some leftovers for dinner, and then sat on the couch with a glass of wine. You put on a show to try and distract yourself, but your mind was most definitely elsewhere. You were trying to decide where and how to start the conversation and whether or not you should have some kind of speech prepared. After an hour of contemplation, the only thing you knew for sure was that the first thing you would say was a simple, ‘I love you.’ From there, you would just speak from the heart and trust that the words would come to you.

As the night wore on, you found yourself growing a bit restless. Although you didn’t specifically ask Tae what time he would be home, when he said not too late you assumed that meant around 8 or 9:00 PM. It was nearly 10:00 PM, now, though, and you hadn’t heard anything from him. Over the next half hour you wrote and erased a dozen messages to him. You were getting slightly worried, but didn’t want to disturb him and come off as too clingy. Thankfully, before you let your mind fill with dark thoughts that involved Tae lying in a ditch somewhere, your phone buzzed on the couch beside you.

[Taehyung 10:34 PM] I’m actually going to be here a while longer.

[Taehyung 10:35 PM] You don’t need to wait up.

Staring down at the words on the screen, your heart sank. You really wanted to talk to him about everything tonight. While you could theoretically still talk in the morning, you knew you wouldn’t have a lot of time. You also knew he was going to be a wreck afterwards and didn’t want him to then have to go straight to the photoshoot. Briefly, you considered just telling him you needed to talk to him and asking if there was any way he could come home sooner, but that felt kind of desperate. You still didn’t know where he was or what he was doing and you felt guilty bothering him. Letting out a long sigh, you finally replied back.

[10:40 PM] OK. Drive safe.

You didn’t then say goodnight because you didn’t actually have any intention of going to bed. The fact of the matter was you needed to talk to him tonight, even if that meant you stayed up until 3 in the morning and then had to hide the little baggies under his eyes in the shoot tomorrow. You had waited long enough as it was and you honestly didn’t think you would be able to sleep if you didn’t get all of this off your chest. Placing your phone back down on the couch beside you, you wrapped a blanket around yourself, snuggled Tanju to your chest, and waited.

It was almost midnight by the time he finally came home. The moment you heard the apartment door open, your stomach filled with butterflies. ‘This is it’, you thought to yourself. After a month of keeping everything inside, you were finally going to let it all out. You were extremely nervous, but also excited. Tonight would mark the start of the next chapter of your life together.

“Hi, Tae,” you said softly as he rounded the corner and entered the living room.

Clearly not expecting you to be there, he literally jumped at the sound of your voice.

“Oh, you’re still up,” was all he said, looking at you with an unreadable expression.

It was just four words, just a simple sentence, but with it he still managed to completely level you. It wasn’t even what he said, but the way he said it. In his voice there wasn’t just surprise, but disappointment. You could see it too in the way his face had fallen the moment he saw you. It was almost as if he was hoping you would be asleep when he got home.

“Yea, I…I said I would wait up,” you replied back hesitantly, trying not to convey the hurt you felt at his reaction.

“Well, you didn’t have to,” he said flatly as he looked away and rubbed the back of his neck with one hand.

A beat of uncomfortable silence then passed between you two as you tried to think of how to respond. Wherever he had been, whatever he had been doing, clearly something happened to make him upset. Standing up from the couch, you started walking towards him, hoping to comfort him with a hug, but the way he subtly stepped back and retreated from you had you stopping in your tracks.

“You should get to bed,” he said, his tone slightly clipped. “We have a long day tomorrow.”

As you looked him over, noting the way his hands were nervously fidgeting at his sides, the air between you grew heavy.

“Tae, is everything OK?” you asked after another few moments of awkward silence.

Your voice was now laden with concern and your expression one of genuine worry. Something was most definitely wrong right now.

“Everything is fine,” he replied, a hint of defensiveness in his voice.

“I just feel bad that you waited up,” he then added, his tone now suspiciously light and gentle. “I want to make sure you get a good night's sleep before the shoot tomorrow.”

The look he gave you then was much softer, but still reticent and with it you could just tell that he was silently pleading for you to stop asking questions. Whatever was bothering him, he didn’t want to talk about it right now. You didn’t want to press him on it if he wasn’t ready to share, but you did still want to have the conversation you had been preparing for all week long.

“I appreciate that,” you said cautiously.

“But I...I wanted to talk to you about something,” you then added hesitantly, trying to keep your voice even despite the fact that you were very much on edge at that moment.

In response, he let out a long, frustrated sigh.

“Look, I’m not really in the mood to talk right now,” he then replied irritatedly. “I’m tired and I just want to go to sleep.”

At the sound of his words, all of the courage you spent so long building up began draining out of you. Obviously, he didn’t know just how important the something you wanted to talk about was, but the fact that he just shut you down like that really stung. For a moment you thought about trying to explain to him that it really couldn’t wait, but one glance at the annoyed expression on his face immediately squashed that idea.

“OK,” you said quietly as you turned around and started towards the bedroom. “I’ll…I’ll head to bed then.”

Walking into the bedroom, you felt a heavy blanket of unease settle over you. You had never seen Tae act so strangely before, so distant and cagey and snippy. Last night he was so sweet and affectionate and caring, but right now he seemed like an entirely different person. Hoping that he was currently cooling off out in the living room, you slipped into bed and anxiously waited for him.

You waited for a long time, so long that you thought perhaps he fell asleep already out there on the couch, but eventually, sometime near 1:00 AM, he came into the room. From the way he trudged around, sighing deeply, you could tell he was still upset. When he finally climbed into bed, though, and laid down beside you but then didn’t put his arms around you like he usually did, you knew something was truly not OK.

“Tae, what’s wrong?” you whispered as you fought back tears. “Did I…did I do something to make you upset?”

From the way your words startled him, it was obvious he thought you were already asleep. Your heart plummeted in your chest when you realized he must have purposefully waited so long to come to bed in the hopes that you were no longer awake so he could avoid talking to you.

“No, sweetheart, you didn’t,” he quickly assured you as he wound his arms around you and pulled you close.

“I…I got into an argument with Jimin before I left his apartment,” he then said reluctantly. “I'm just upset about that.”

Obviously, you knew that wasn’t the truth, but you didn’t want to let him know you knew that since you hadn’t had a chance to talk to him about everything. Still, you wanted to try and understand what was wrong and why he was acting like this.

“Are you sure that’s it?” you asked in the smallest voice imaginable. “It just…it seemed like you weren’t happy to see me when you got home.”

“Jagi, I’m so sorry I made you feel that way,” he replied, the guilt in his voice evident. “You didn't do anything wrong.”

“I’m just stressed and frustrated with myself and I took it out on you,” he then added sadly. “I’m so sorry for doing that.”

For a few moments, you didn’t respond as you let his words wash over you. He did seem more flustered than angry right now, so perhaps whatever was bothering him truly wasn’t about you. Part of you still wanted to talk, but it was already so late and it just didn’t seem like the right time to get into everything. You were tired now, and still hurt from the way he had treated you, and no longer felt ready to share any of the important things you needed to tell him. With a heavy heart, you accept that it would just have to wait until tomorrow morning.

“It’s OK,” you finally said back.

“I’m sorry again, sweetheart,” he said back, sounding genuinely remorseful.

“It’s OK,” you repeated tiredly. “Let’s just get some sleep.”

“Goodnight, Tae,” you whispered.

“Goodnight, Jagi,” he said back before pressing a kiss to your shoulder.

As you laid there, trying to relax and get comfortable after the unexpectedly stressful events of the evening, you suddenly noticed something. You had been so relieved when Tae finally put his arms around you and snuggled you against his chest that it initially failed to catch your attention. For the first time since you had started dating, for the first time since he stayed with you the night of the Dynamite music video shoot, he was doing something that very well might have been a coincidence, but was extremely peculiar and ever-so-slightly unsettling nonetheless.

He was sleeping with a shirt on.

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TGTBT Update

Chapter 48 will be dropping shortly.

It’s almost at 7k!

I just wanted to say in advance...

I am SO sorry.

Too Good To Be True - Ch. 48 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 7.0k

warnings: none

A/N: I am so sorry 💔

Chapter 48: Lying To Yourself - Part 3

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You woke the following morning to an empty bed.

It was unusual for Tae to wake up before you because he was such a late and heavy sleeper and even more unusual for him to then leave the bed entirely. Usually when he woke up first he would gently rouse you with a series of feather-light kisses placed all over your face: your forehead, the tip of your nose, the apple of your cheek, your lips themselves. It was by far the best way to be woken up and oftentimes you would pretend to still be asleep just so he would keep spoiling you with kisses. Eventually, though, you would be unable to contain your smile any longer at which point he’d realize you were awake and say ‘Good morning, beautiful’.

Sadly, this morning you received no such sweet and tender awakening. Instead, you woke to the jarring blast of sound that was your alarm. You honestly couldn’t remember the last time you’d needed your alarm to wake up on time. Given that you were a true morning person, you typically woke up naturally hours before it even went off. Last night you’d gotten to bed rather late, though, and had then struggled to fall asleep. It wasn’t surprising that you slept so long and were still feeling exhausted.

As memories from last night began trickling back in, you felt that heavy blanket of unease once again envelope you. It had been a strange night, one that was perhaps as stressful as you imagined it would be, but for reasons you never would have predicted when you woke up yesterday. Although Tae had apologized for his behavior, and had assured you it had nothing to do with you, the night had still ended on a disquieting note. Him not being here when you woke up had you picking up right where you left off: in a state of confusion and worry.

Trying your best to remain calm, you turned over to grab your phone off the nightstand only to be met with a surprising sight: Tanju, propped up by a small vase filled with purple flowers, accompanied by a folded paper heart laid at his feet. You recognized the beautiful blossoms immediately; they were azaleas, the exact same shade as the ones that grew in the small indoor garden located in the apartment complex’s main lobby. A tiny smile crept onto your face as you picked up the paper heart and unfolded it to reveal a note written in a small, neat, familiar script.

Jagi,

I had to head out early today so I could talk to Jimin before the shoot starts. I wanted to let you sleep a little longer since I kept you up so late last night. You also just looked so pretty and peaceful while sleeping that I couldn’t bring myself to wake you.

I am so sorry for the way I acted when I got home last night. It was wrong of me to take my frustration out on you like that. I am ashamed to have hurt you and made you sad. I’m supposed to keep you safe and happy, but I did the complete opposite.

I promise I will work to become a better man for you, sweetheart. You deserve the world and I want to give it to you. I love you so much.

~ Tae

P.S. Tanju picked these flowers for you because they are beautiful just like you. I told him that the maintenance staff wasn’t going to be too happy with him, but he claims no one saw him do it.

By the time you were done reading, your tiny smile had morphed into a big, dopey grin. Tae must have picked the flowers after taking Tannie out for a walk earlier that morning. You could just picture him furtively glancing around the lobby before reaching into the garden to pluck out a couple and then casually walking away with them hidden under his jacket. It was such a silly, Tae-like thing to do, but it was an incredibly sweet gesture nonetheless.

The fact that he took the time to write out a sincere apology meant a lot to you. As you read through it once more, you felt the residual hurt and anxiety from last night fading away. Couples fight. People get upset and say and do things they don’t mean. It happens. There had certainly been more than a few times over the last two months where you’d snapped at Tae, whether because you were tired or hungry or just randomly in a bad mood.

You realized that the unique circumstances of the evening were making it seem worse than it really was. The truth was you were already on edge when he got home because you were planning to tell him your big news. The fact that he was off working on something that you didn’t fully understand yet also didn’t help. If it had been any other night and he came home in a bit of a surly mood, it wouldn’t have bothered you nearly as much. It was just bad timing.

Your fight aside, there was still the question of why Tae wore a shirt to bed. You had contemplated numerous possible reasons for this before sleep finally took you. They ranged from the completely innocent - he forgot to take it off - to the somewhat outlandish - he got a secret tattoo or piercing - all the way to the highly disconcerting - he was concealing injuries on his body from some kind of accident or physical altercation.

You had fallen asleep before you could settle on which seemed most plausible, but now that you were awake the most likely reason seemed fairly obvious: because it was unusually cold in the apartment at the moment. While you didn’t specifically remember it being cold last night, you didn’t remember it being warm either. You had also been drinking and had spent all night wrapped up in a blanket on the couch. Maybe the apartment was this cold last night and Tae decided to keep his shirt on to stay warm?

Whatever the reason for his unusual choice of sleepwear, you would find out about it when you and him finally talked which, you just realized, wasn’t going to be this morning. In all honesty, even if he was here right now you’re not sure you would even try to have the talk. There was just too much to say, too many bad feelings that needed to be worked through, and not enough time. There’s also no way either of you could have that conversation and then spend all day surrounded by tons of people trying to act totally normal.

It will just have to wait until tonight.

As you got up and began getting ready for the day, you realized that it was probably for the best that Tae was going to talk to Jimin right now. They might not have actually hung out last night, but Jimin did know what Tae was working on and would hopefully be able to help calm him down. You hated seeing him so upset, but until you two talked about everything there unfortunately wasn’t really anything you could do to help.

A half hour and several cups of coffee later, you were in the elevator heading down to the parking garage when you remembered you hadn’t texted Tae yet that morning. Not wanting him to think you missed his gifts or worse, saw them but didn’t care, you quickly pulled out your phone and sent him a message.

[8:34 AM] Thank you for the note and the flowers.

[8:34 AM] They were both beautiful.

[Taehyung 8:35 AM] You are beautiful.

[Taehyung 8:35 AM] And I love you.

[Taehyung 8:35 AM] And I’m sorry again.

[8:36 AM] I love you too.

[8:36 AM] And I forgive you.

[8:37 AM] Were you able to work things out with Jimin?

[Taehyung 8:38 AM] Yea we had a good talk this morning.

[8:38 AM] Good I’m glad 😊

[8:39 AM] But hey I just got into the car.

[Taehyung 8:39 AM] OK I’ll let you go.

[Taehyung 8:39 AM] No texting while driving!

[Taehyung 8:39 AM] And be sure to wear your seatbelt.

[Taehyung 8:40 AM] I’ll see you soon, sweetheart.

[8:40 AM] 💜

Smiling to yourself at his unnecessary, but adorable protectiveness, you put down your phone and put on your seatbelt like you were told and headed off towards Big Hit.

Twenty minutes later you were walking into the studio, feeling infinitely better than you had when you first woke up. You had spent the drive listening to a playlist Tae made for you which mostly consisted of sappy love songs. Several of them were ones he actually shared with ARMY during his TaeTae FM Vlives earlier in the year. At the time it broke your heart to hear him play those songs and realize he was obviously in love with someone, but little did you know that someone was you.

“Good morning, Y/N,” Mrs. Choi said with a warm smile as you set your bag down.

“Hi, Mrs. Choi,” you replied, returning the gesture. “How are you today?”

“Stressed,” she said with a laugh. “There’s just so many moving pieces when we do this shoot.”

“Yea, coordinating all the different groups and individuals is no small feat,” you agreed as you looked around the busy room.

“Please let me know if there’s anything I can do to help,” you then added.

“There actually is something I wanted to ask you about,” she quickly replied.

You looked over at her with a curious expression as you waited for her to continue.

“One of the TXT stylists unfortunately isn't going to be able to make it here today,” she revealed. “They’ve suddenly fallen quite ill.”

“Another one of their stylists is also currently out on maternity leave,” she continued. “Their manager has been filling in for the last few weeks, but with a second stylist now out they are in a bit of a bind.”

“Would you be willing to transfer over there for today to help them out?” she asked tentatively.

“I would fill in for you here and work with Taehyung,” she then added.

If Mrs. Choi had asked you this a few months ago, you would have been absolutely convinced she was simply trying to get you out of her studio and out of her hair. However, as she stood there before you sporting a hesitant smile, you were certain that was not at all the case. Her asking you to join their team for the day was actually sort of flattering. It meant she was confident in your abilities and trusted you to represent the BTS team well. As much as you wanted to spend the day with Tae, you wanted to prove to her that you were worthy of her trust and confidence.

“I would be happy to help them out,” you replied honestly. “I’ll pack up my things now and head over there in a few minutes.”

“Thank you so much, Y/N,” she said brightly. “I know you will make me proud.”

The strange truth was that over the past month you and Mrs. Choi had grown significantly closer. Since that Friday when you almost had a panic attack during your conversation with Eunji and Donghae, she had been going out of her way to talk to you and check in with you to make sure you were doing alright. Her kindness and support had actually come to mean a great deal to you given how lonely and anxious you often felt at work these days.

She hadn’t specifically said anything, but you knew that she noticed the shift in your relationship with Tae. After years of scolding the two of you for being too loud and rowdy, the fact that you no longer talked much or joked around was surely obvious to her. You were also pretty sure she had correctly surmised that this was because Tae and Jisoo were now ‘together’.

She clearly did not like Jisoo; her vitriol for the young woman was stronger than it had been for you even at the worst of times. On more than one occasion she had come over and told Jisoo to stop disrupting everyone in her studio. One time she even straight up asked Jisoo to leave. Tae had also evidently fallen out of her good graces, no doubt because of who he now associated himself with. You felt guilty knowing her disappointment in Tae was misplaced, but you hoped she would come around once he ended his ‘relationship’ with Jisoo.

While you were loading up your carrying case with brushes and makeup pallets and anything else you thought you might need for the day, Tae suddenly walked into the room. For half a second he looked a little surprised to see you, but then his face broke out into a big, boxy smile. It instantly faltered, though, once he saw what you were doing.

“Why are you packing up?” he asked, giving you a curious and slightly concerned look.

“TXT is a little short-staffed today so I’m actually going to be working on their team for the shoot,” you said apologetically, hating the way his face fell as you spoke.

“You’re leaving me?” he said, giving you the most adorable pout you’d ever seen.

“Just for today,” you assured him. “I’ll be back on Monday.”

“But, why do you have to go?” he whined as he continued jutting out his lower lip. “Why can’t someone else go?”

“Because Mrs. Choi asked nicely and I wanted to help,” you replied in a hushed tone. “She likes me now, you know, and I’d like to keep it that way.”

“So enough with the pouting,” you then scolded gently. “It’s just one photoshoot.”

“Still, I don’t like it,” he huffed out under his breath.

“They’re going to think you’re cute and fun and fall in love with you instantly and want to keep you,” he then said worriedly, keeping his voice down so no one else could hear.

“You make me sound like a lost puppy that was found on the street,” you said with a laugh.

Realizing that was exactly how he just described the situation, a silly grin replaced his pout and he started to laugh too.

“Ok, fine. You can abandon me for the day,” he then said with an exaggerated sigh. “I swear I won’t hold it against you for the rest of your life.”

“Just promise me you’ll come back, Jagi,” he then said softly, ironically giving you his puppy dog eyes.

“I promise,” you said back with a shy smile.

~~~

The TXT studio was on the same floor, but at the opposite end of the hallway. It was a little smaller than BTS’s, which made sense given that their group was smaller, but otherwise looked remarkably similar. You had been there a handful of times over the years, mostly to drop off something Mrs. Choi asked you to bring to their stylist’s manager, Baekhyun. Having mingled at enough company-wide functions, you were fairly well acquainted with him and the group’s stylists. They were all very friendly, but you were still a tad nervous to be joining their team on such short notice and for an event as big as this.

However, as soon as you stepped foot in the room your worries melted away. You were met with an incredibly warm welcome from both the staff as well as the members who all thanked you for coming to help out. After briefly meeting with Baekhyun, he brought you over to Beomgyu, the member who you would be working with for the day. You had met the young man on numerous occasions, but he was still adorably shy when you said hello. Tae was Beomgyu’s BTS bias, and the idol he looked up to most, so you wondered if that had anything to do with his nervousness around you.

Once you started getting him ready and he began to open up, you soon found that he actually reminded you a lot of Tae. He was extremely talkative and energetic, but also incredibly sweet. He had a very bright personality and seemed to simply radiate positive energy. He also just so happened to have an incredibly deep voice and be from Daegu. You had heard people make comparisons between him and Tae before and now that you were actually talking with him at length you understood why. Obviously, no one would ever replace Tae, but it was kind of nice to be spending the day with someone whose personality you knew yours meshed well with.

In all honesty, though, it would be hard not to get along with any of the guys. They were all so great, so kind and funny and outgoing. They were also all so young, most of them not even 20 and technically still teenagers, that at 26 you felt positively ancient. Their youthfulness made the environment in the room much more relaxed and playful than it was in your own studio which you loved. Given that you were used to being rowdy and silly with Tae, you felt like you fit right in.

Despite the fact that you were genuinely enjoying yourself, you did still miss him which is why you started smiling down at your phone like an idiot when he texted you.

[Taehyung 11:01 AM] How is my puppy doing?

[Taehyung 11:02 AM] Are you having fun in your new home?

[11:03 AM] They are such adorable little babies.

[11:03 AM] I am literally so soft right now 🥺

[Taehyung 11:04 AM] Haha I’m glad it’s going well.

[Taehyung 11:04 AM] Don’t get too comfortable, though.

[Taehyung 11:05 AM] I miss you and I want you back here with me.

[11:05 AM] You miss me, huh?

[Taehyung 11:05 AM] I do.

[Taehyung 11:06 AM] I miss the way you run your hands through my hair when you’re using the flat iron.

[Taehyung 11:06 AM] And the way you part your lips just a little bit when you’re putting on my makeup.

[Taehyung 11:07 AM] And the way you tilt your head to the side ever-so-slightly when you’re shamelessly checking me out 😉

[11:07 AM] You’re a little too cocky for your own good, you know that?

[11:08 AM] I think I’m going to ditch you and start secretly dating Beomgyu just to spite you.

[Taehyung 11:08 AM] Noooo don’t leave me, sweetheart.

[Taehyung 11:08 AM] 😭😭😭

[Taehyung 11:08 AM] I’ll be a good boy.

[11:09 AM] You promise?

[Taehyung 11:09 AM] I promise.

[Taehyung 11:09 AM] I won’t make any more jokes about how thirsty you are.

[11:10 AM] 😑

[11:10 AM] You’re dead to me, Kim Taehyung.

[Taehyung 11:10 AM] I’M SORRY.

[Taehyung 11:11 AM] I’m serious now. No more jokes.

[Taehyung 11:11 AM] How about I tell you how thirsty I am to make it up to you?

[Taehyung 11:11 AM] I’ll tell you all the filthy, unprofessional thoughts I had about you in the shower this morning...

[11:12 AM] …

[11:12 AM] You may proceed.

After Tae divulged his naughty shower fantasy in deliciously explicit detail, the two of you spent the rest of the day sending scandalous messages back and forth. It wasn’t full-on sexting, but it was still pretty risqué, especially considering you were not just working, but in the Big Hit building itself. The fact that you hadn’t been together in almost a week made it all the more exciting and had you absolutely itching to finally get your hands on him later that night.

You did feel slightly guilty reading and writing such filthy things while in the presence of your precious TXT babies, but you loved the idea of Tae doing so while he was with Jisoo. As you had predicted, she was all over him while everyone was together in the big room where the photos were being taken. After watching him basically ignore her all week, it was a little hard to watch him slip back into the role of her doting boyfriend while they were talking to Bang PD, but you knew he was just trying to put on a show and make it look convincing. Of course, it was actually no longer necessary for him to do that given that they would be ending their ‘relationship’ shortly and you would be leaving Big Hit not long after, but he unfortunately didn’t know that yet so you had no right to be frustrated.

Things were pretty hectic while the photos were being taken so you unfortunately didn’t get a chance to sneak back over to the BTS team and talk to Tae. However, you did shamelessly check him out from afar and decided, in your completely unbiased opinion, that he was hands down the most attractive Big Hit idol. He looked fantastic in the outfit you had picked out for him, but you chuckled to yourself when you saw that Mrs. Choi, who was quite conservative when it came to showing skin, had made him button his shirt up all the way. Usually you left at least one or two buttons undone, although lately he had been sneakily undoing a couple more. He claimed it was because he thought ARMY would like it, but you knew he just wanted to tease you with a full view of his chest when you leaned in to do his makeup.

By the end of the day you found yourself feeling quite exhausted, but overall really happy with how everything had gone. Spending the day with TXT had been a really great experience for you, both professionally and personally. As much as you hated not being with Tae, you realized partway through the day that it was probably a good thing that you had both gotten a taste of what it was going to be like once you left Big Hit in a little over a month.

In some ways, you felt like today’s change of plans was going to make this evening’s conversation go more smoothly. You had proven that you could both function totally fine at work without the one another and that you could successfully stay connected throughout the day. You hoped that this would be of reassurance to Tae when he undoubtedly got upset about the fact that you wouldn’t be together all the time anymore and started worrying that you wouldn’t be as close.

You were definitely still a little nervous about tonight, but that was to be expected before having an incredibly emotional, life-changing conversation. After what had happened last night, though, you were actually feeling more sure than ever that it was going to go well. Although unpleasant at the time, what the two of you went through had ended up giving you a great deal of confidence in your ability to tackle the upcoming challenges together. It showed you that as long as there was communication, honesty, and accountability in your relationship, everything would be OK.

~~~

Once the shoot was officially over, you found yourself back in the TXT studio helping to clean up and put away the guys’ outfits. You were hanging Beomgyu’s clothes on the rack in the corner when Baekhyun approached you.

“Thank you again for helping us out today,” he said sincerely. “We couldn’t have done it without you.”

“It was my pleasure,” you replied back happily. “I really enjoyed working with Beomgyu.”

“The feeling is mutual,” he said back smoothly, laughing a bit before he spoke again. “He was quite taken with you. I overheard him telling Soobin that he wished you could stay.”

You let out a little laugh in return, blushing slightly as you then diverted your attention back to the clothes in front of you. You were definitely going to enjoy telling Tae that little bit of information.

“I’m really glad Taehyung was able to help set this up,” Baekhyun then added.

You were smiling to yourself as he said that, imagining Tae getting all riled up and jealous at the thought of Beomgyu wanting to have you as his stylist, but his comment caught your attention and pulled you from your thoughts.

“What do you mean ‘help set this up’?” you asked curiously as you began buttoning up the shirt in your hands.

“Oh, I assumed he told you. I ran into him in the café this morning and we got talking about our situation,” Baekhyun said casually. “He’s the one who came up with the idea of you transferring over to help us out.”

Upon hearing his words, your hands immediately ceased their work, your fingers tightening around the topmost button like a vice.

It was Tae’s idea for you to transfer?

“He thought it would be fun for you to shake things up and spend a day with our boys,” he went on, blissfully unaware of the true impact of what he was saying.

“After he and I talked I reached out to Mrs. Choi and we made it happen,” he then continued as he made room on the rack and hung up Soobin’s outfit.

Momentarily stunned by this revelation, it took a few moments for you to remember that you needed to respond back to Baekhyun.

“Oh, right. Tae did mention that before I left this morning,” you lied, giving him a smile you hoped he couldn’t tell was completely fake.

“I must admit, I’m a little surprised he let you slip away,” he said with a chuckle before adding more seriously. “But, selfishly I’m glad he did because we truly needed the help.”

It looked like he was about to say something else, but just as he opened his mouth one of the other stylists suddenly called out to him from the other side of the room. He thanked you again for your help, shot you another smile, and then excused himself, leaving you alone with your now very tumultuous thoughts.

Staring down at the floor dejectedly, you felt a wave of embarrassment wash over you as you thought about everything Tae had said and done today. How surprised he seemed when you told him you’d be working with TXT for the day. How he said he wished you didn’t have to be the one to go. How he was worried about them liking you and wanting to keep you. How he spent all day saying that he missed you and couldn’t wait for you to come back. He did and said all of those things when all along he was the reason you were sent away in the first place.

You were hurt that he did that and didn’t tell you and even more hurt that he then put on that big performance when you left. At the time, him pouting and worrying about you leaving him even for a day made you feel all warm and fuzzy inside, but now it just made you feel humiliated. If he was the one to suggest that you be transferred, he obviously had no problem with you being away from him.

The fact that he then spent the rest of the day sending you flirty and suggestive text messages only made you feel worse. Just like last week when you realized he lied about where he was and then came home and slept with you, you felt betrayed and also used. Even if you hadn’t done anything physical today, you had still engaged in a form of intimacy. Knowing that you had said all those things to each other while he was being dishonest with you made you feel dirty and not in a good way.

What hurt the most, though, was the fact that he did all this after everything that happened last night. Just this morning he had written you what you thought was a sincere note apologizing for hurting you and promising to try and be a better man for you. For him to then turn around just a few hours later and lie to your face made all the beautiful words in that note seem hollow.

You just didn’t understand why he kept this from you or why he even did it in the first place. Your initial worry was that he was upset with you about something and wanted space, but that didn’t really make sense given he spent all day talking to you. With that in mind, you tried to think of some other reasons for why he might have acted this way. Maybe he threw out the suggestion not thinking they would actually follow through with it and then felt guilty once he realized they did and decided not to say anything? Maybe he was worried you were still secretly upset about last night and thought it would be best if you two didn’t work together today so things wouldn’t be awkward?

Whatever the reason, it was wrong for him to have lied, especially about something that involved your job. The two of you had always been careful not to let your relationship interfere with work, but today he had definitely crossed the line and that was not OK. With a heavy heart, you added this to the ever growing list of things you and him needed to talk about tonight. Less than an hour ago you were feeling more confident than ever that your relationship was solid and everything was going to be alright, but you couldn’t deny that this most recent discovery had shaken you. It just wasn’t like Tae to keep secrets from you.

At least, not until recently

As you collected your things, said goodbye to the remaining members of the TXT team, and started wandering down the hall towards the elevator, you texted Tae and tried to push that unnerving thought from your mind.

[4:55 PM] Are you heading home soon?

You hoped he was. Your anxiety regarding tonight’s conversation had skyrocketed during the last 10 minutes and you now felt an overwhelming urge to finally get everything out in the open. You had spent all week calming yourself down and trying to think rationally, and had even handled last night’s fight with a surprising amount of poise, but right now you felt yourself slowly slipping back into a state of panic. Something about the whole TXT transfer situation just felt so off.

As you stood there leaning against the wall by the elevator waiting for him to respond, you felt that now all-too familiar sense of unease creeping back in. You could see that he had read your message and the longer it took for those three dots to appear the worse you started to feel. It was a relatively simple question, one that shouldn’t take this long to answer. After waiting and waiting and waiting, you were just about to write something else when he finally responded.

[Taehyung 5:01 PM] Sweetheart, I’m so sorry but I just found out that me and the guys have to stay at the dorms for the rest of the weekend.

[Taehyung 5:02 PM] Things have been kind of tense between everyone lately and Jimin and I fighting last night sent Joon-hyung into a tailspin.

[Taehyung 5:02 PM] He wants us all to spend some time together so we can work things out before award show season starts.

[Taehyung 5:03 PM] I’ve got plenty of clothes and stuff there so I’m going to head straight there.

[Taehyung 5:03 PM] I’m sorry I won’t be there to snuggle with you tonight ☹️

[Taehyung 5:04 PM] Call me when you get home, OK? I miss you and I want to hear your voice.

An overwhelming and unbearable sadness came over you as you read and reread his messages. Thirty minutes ago you overheard Jin talking on the phone with who you could only assume was his fiancé. ‘That sounds great, darling. I’ll be home in an hour or so.’, you heard him say happily into the receiver. Namjoon had clearly not requested that everyone in the group stay at the dorms tonight.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you came to the heartbreaking realization that every single word Tae just wrote to you was a lie. He wasn’t going to the dorms because he had to, but because he wanted to, that is, if he was even going to the dorms at all. He wasn’t actually sorry that he wasn’t going to be able to snuggle with you tonight nor did he miss you or want to hear your voice. He just wanted you to think all of those things were true.

He was avoiding you, plain and simple. He didn’t want to see you last night. He didn’t want to see you this morning. He didn’t want to see you during the shoot. He didn’t want to see you now. He didn’t want to see you tomorrow. He just didn’t want to see you, period. This fear had crossed your mind the moment Baekhyun told you what Tae had done, but at the time you didn’t want to believe it. Now, though, this fact was just too glaringly and painfully obvious to ignore.

Your head was spinning as you stepped into the empty elevator. Slumping against the far wall, you felt truly overwhelmed by how rapidly everything was falling apart. From the very beginning this fake dating nightmare, and your relationship itself, you now realized, had been a house of cards waiting to collapse. One after another after another, the secrets had piled up on top of it and their staggering weight had finally become too much to bear.

Sadly, there was not a doubt in your mind which secret had been the breaking point.

Just yesterday afternoon you had believed with all your heart that whatever Tae was secretly doing, it wasn’t something that you had to worry about. You trusted that he had a totally valid reason for why he hadn’t told you about it and were convinced that he would explain everything when the time was right. But right now, after realizing he had spent all day telling you lies and pushing you away, the truth could no longer be ignored.

Whatever happened last night, Tae felt guilty about it. He felt guilty and was hiding from you because of it, physically hiding from you. The best case scenario was that he was only doing that because he didn’t think he could keep up the façade if he was with you in person, but the terrible, sinking feeling in your stomach told you that wasn’t true.

Just as the elevator doors closed, the first few tears started rolling down your cheeks as you recalled the way he had recoiled from you last night when you went to hug him and how he had been reticent to cuddle you and the fact that he wore a shirt to bed.

He didn’t want you near him.

He didn’t want you to touch him.

He didn’t want you to see him.

You knew at that moment that he wasn’t just hiding from you, but hiding something from you, something tangible and visible, something that would tell you exactly what he had been doing last night.

“It can't be...he wouldn't...,” you whispered to yourself as your head fell into your hands and you finally allowed your mind to wander to the darkest of places in search of an explanation.

A second later, the elevator stopped and the doors opened. Slowly raising your head, you looked up and saw none other than Jisoo standing before you. She was still in her photoshoot outfit which was a beautiful floor length halter dress in a deep shade of red. It was probably the most conservative dress you’d ever seen her wear, but she looked stunning nonetheless, elegant even.

After eyeing you up and down disdainfully, and obviously noticing your tear-stained cheeks, she stepped in beside you. The moment the doors closed and you were alone, she caught your gaze in the mirrored doors in front of you.

“You know, I was supposed to wear something else today, but I accidentally had a little too much fun last night,” she said smugly as she tugged the neckline of her dress to the side.

There, all over her chest, trailing from her collarbone down to the swell of her breasts and no doubt beyond, were a plethora of hickeys. The sight made your already queasy stomach churn, but it was her next words that truly sickened you.

“If you think these are bad, you should see the ones I left on him,” she cooed, feigning remorse as she threw the words you had spoken to her on Monday back in your face.

For a few heart stopping moments, your mind went completely blank as you struggled to comprehend what you were seeing and hearing, but as you gazed in horror at those red and purple bruises, the last piece of puzzle, the one that explained Tae’s evasive, mysterious behavior, finally fell into place.

Why he was upset that you were still awake last night.

Why he was so distant and cagey.

Why he wore a shirt to bed.

Why he left this morning before you could see him.

Why he didn’t want you to be his stylist today.

Why his shirt was buttoned all the way up during the shoot.

Why he said he needed to stay at the dorms.

Why he literally did everything and anything within his power today to make sure you did not see him.

It was all so heartbreakingly clear now: his chest was covered with hickeys.

He cheated on you last night with Jisoo, accidentally let her leave marks, and was now hiding from you until they went away. From the moment you realized Tae was wearing a shirt to bed last night, this terrifying explanation had begun lurking in the shadows of your mind, but you had simply refused to acknowledge it. When you woke up this morning and found his heartfelt apology, you accepted it without question because you were too scared to face the truth.

“I tried to tell you, but you didn’t listen,” she sneered, letting go of her dress and allowing it to conceal the evidence once more.

Every single word that left her lips was a dagger in your heart and the pain became all the more excruciating when you realized every single one was true. She did try to tell you, multiple times, and you didn’t listen. Instead, you kept blindly believing the man that you knew for a fact was lying to you.

“Do yourself a favor and take that last shred of dignity you have left and leave him,” she then added, now sounding deadly serious. “Leave him before you can embarrass yourself any further by continuing to desperately cling to someone who does. not. love. you. ”

With every terrible word she emphasized, your heart sank lower and lower until it was lying in a heap on the cold, lonely floor. You tried to think of something, anything to say in reply, but your mind was a dark, empty void. On Monday she had claimed he didn’t want you, but you proved her wrong by getting him to sleep with you. There was a world of difference, though, between wanting someone and truly loving them. What did you have to prove this new, far more devastating claim wrong?

His empty promises? His manipulative behavior? His blatant lies?

Nothing. You had nothing.

Because the way Tae treated you today is not the way you treat someone you love.

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get home,” she said casually once the elevator stopped and the doors opened. “I’m expecting company this evening.”

And with that, she strolled out into the parking garage.

It was her final insinuation, that the place where he was going to hide the marks from you was the very place where he had received them, that caused the dam inside you to finally break. All at once great, heaving sobs began tearing through your chest, shattering your heart and grinding the broken shards into nothing but dust.

People talked all the time about the ‘Duality of Kim Taehyung’. They marveled at how quickly and easily he can go from being playful to serious, shy to outgoing, cute to sexy. What no one ever talked about, though, is how he can use this remarkable talent of his to manipulate those around him. One second he’s showering you with love and attention, making you swoon with his sweet words and affectionate gestures, but a second later he’s exploiting the trust you’ve given him so you’ll let your guard down long enough for him to use you and take from you until there is nothing left.

All day long he had manipulated you. He used flattery and gifts and grand declarations of love to distract you from his hurtful and suspicious behavior. He made you feel wanted and needed and desired so you wouldn’t realize he was secretly avoiding you and pushing you away. He was so affectionate and protective that you believed your safety and happiness were his priority when in reality he had a hidden, selfish agenda. He told you exactly what you wanted to hear to distract you from the awful, gut-wrenching truth.

That all that time you spent convincing yourself that he loved you and respected you and would never hurt you, you were only lying to yourself.

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I need you to know that this chapter affected me so much that I had to talk about it with a friend who doesn't even read the fanfic! AND NOW WE ARE WOMEN ON A MISSION! It's on sight, Tae. You're dead man! You better start sleeping with one eye open!

Oh my gosh. I have so many feels right now.

1) I am honored to have affected you so deeply with my writing.

2) I have definitely talked to my husband before about things that I read in a fanfic which really puzzled or surprised or disturbed me.

(Side note: I bounce all of my TGTBT ideas off of him and use his perspectives and reactions to help guide the story and ensure things are making sense. However, he has not actually read any of the story yet and I'm honestly not sure I ever want him to since then he would know the true depth of my love for Kim Taehyung lol)

3) This GIF. I know it's looking bad for Tae right now. Like, really fucking bad. But...tell Liam Neeson to hold off for just a tad longer :)

Too Good To Be True - Ch. 49 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 6.3k

warnings: cursing

A/N: At last, the secret is revealed...!

Chapter 49: The Truth Untold

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Your first instinct was to do exactly what she’d suggested: leave.

Leave the city. Leave Bit Hit. Leave him.

Leave in the dead of night without saying a word.

You could go back to his apartment right now while he was with her, pack up all of your belongings, and leave nothing but your couple’s ring on the kitchen counter. Maybe you’d leave a note too, ‘Hope she was worth it.’, or something equally as cryptic and passive aggressive. You could even write it on the note he left you that morning just below his beautifully worded lies, anything to make it hurt that much more when he finally came home to an empty apartment.

You could stay at your apartment tonight and then drive home to Busan tomorrow. You could get a new phone number and block him on all other platforms. Monday morning you could call Mrs. Choi and resign, effective immediately. You could tell her a version of the truth, that you just couldn’t do it anymore, that the job had ended up taking more from you than you could bear to give. She could then be the one to break the news to Tae, inform him that you were gone and you weren’t coming back.

You could erase Kim Taehyung from your life entirely and pretend that the last three years, specifically the last three months, never even happened.

And yet, as much as you wanted to crush him, make him feel as abandoned and embarrassed and broken as he made you feel, you found yourself incapable of even taking the first step and leaving the elevator. It was holding you back, that invisible tether, the one which had bound you to him for years, stopping you time and again from moving on and carving out a life for yourself that didn’t revolve around him. Every time you tried to move, it tugged on your heart, reminding you that even now, in the wake of his devastation, the traitorous organ still belonged to him.

You stood there fighting against your heart’s restraint for so long that the doors eventually closed. Just like that, you were trapped. You obviously couldn’t go backwards and change the past, but you were somehow even less capable of moving forward and building a new future. He was such an integral part of your life, the foundation on which nearly everything was built, that the mere thought of extracting yourself from him was both exhausting and terrifying. What would even be left of you at the end of that excruciatingly painful process?

You didn’t want to know.

You weren’t ready to know.

All at once, the elevator felt unbearably small and hot and suffocating. It was like a cage, one in which, no matter where you looked, you were met with the same pitiful, heart-wrenching sight of your own reflection. In a desperate attempt to escape, you pressed the button for the top floor of the building. The ascent seemed to take forever, and the whole time it felt like the walls were closing in around you, but eventually the elevator stopped. The moment the doors opened you were hit with a blast of cold, refreshing November air.

At last you could breathe.

As you slowly made your way to the table on the far side of the rooftop deck, a strange sense of calm settled over you. It was like you had entered a state of suspended animation, one where time stopped and no one and nothing else existed. Up there, with nothing but the faint sound of the howling wind in the background, it was just you and your thoughts. After turning off your phone, you sat down on top of the table, hugged your knees up to your chest, and looked out over the Han River. As you took in the beautiful sight before you, you let your mind wander, trying to understand what led you to this fateful moment. Back through time you went, sifting through every memory you’d shared with Tae over the course of the last three years, until eventually you settled on the one that changed everything...

***

You were in the studio one Friday afternoon and were about to head home for the weekend when you heard your phone buzz on the counter in front of you. Glancing down at it, your heart started beating erratically in your chest when you saw that the message was from Tae.

[Taehyung 4:35 PM] Noona!

[Taehyung 4:35 PM] Meet me on the roof.

When you and him exchanged numbers back on your first day at Big Hit, you had put him into your phone as ‘Taehyung’. Over the next few days he asked you over and over again to please call him ‘Tae’. Eventually, you obliged, but you never got around to changing his contact name in your phone and ultimately decided to just leave it the way it was. ‘Taehyung’ was such a beautiful name and you honestly just loved the way it looked popping up on your screen.

In the month since you started at Big Hit, you had learned that Tae had a penchant for sending cryptic messages such as these. The majority of your text correspondence was work related - you reminding him to come back soon for hair and makeup when he wandered off on set, him sending you a photo of something from the Gucci website that he wanted to wear in an upcoming shoot - but every once in a while he would send texts like these. They made you embarrassingly giddy, but they also made you a little nervous; you just never knew what to expect when it came to Kim Taehyung.

[4:36 PM] OK!

Five minutes later the elevator doors were opening up to reveal the rooftop deck atop the Big Hit building. After tentatively stepping out, you glanced around and quickly found Tae sitting at the picnic table in the corner. You took a deep, steadying breath to try and calm your racing heart and then started making your way over to him. As soon as he heard you walk up behind him, he turned around and gave you the biggest, boxiest smile.

“Noona!” he said excitedly. “You’re here!”

“I am,” you said shyly, giving him a small smile.

“But, umm...what exactly are we doing up here?” you then asked, noting for the first time the Tupperware, paper plates, and forks on the table beside him.

“I want to celebrate,” he said happily.

“Celebrate what?” you asked back.

“Your Big Hit one month anniversary,” he replied simply, like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Oh wow. That’s so nice of you” you said after a moment, feeling your cheeks heat up. “You really didn’t have to, though. It’s not that big of a deal.”

“It is to me,” he said earnestly, giving you another bright smile.

“My last stylist noona only lasted three weeks,” he then admitted, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck as he spoke.

“She put me in an outfit that ARMY hated for one of our shows and then ‘Cancel TaeTae’s Stylist Noona’ trended on Twitter,” he went on sheepishly. “She quit the next day.”

“Oh my god,” you said with a laugh. “Why didn’t you tell me this sooner?”

“I didn’t want to scare you away!” he replied seriously before breaking out into a fit of giggles.

“But, you have nothing to worry about,” he soon assured you. “You’re doing an amazing job.”

“In fact, ARMY has been saying I look more handsome than ever since you started,” he then added cheekily, wiggling his eyebrows at you in that ridiculous way only he could pull off.

After rolling your eyes at him, you then quickly looked away so he wouldn’t see that you were blushing. He was always subtly teasing you like this. It had taken you by surprise the first couple times he did so, and foolishly made you feel a little special, but you soon realized that was just the way Tae was. He was a natural flirt, effortlessly captivating people with his dazzling good looks and boyish charm. Everyone he met was instantly taken with him, from fans to interviewers to other idols, and you had been no exception.  

From your very first day when he had personally given you a tour of Big Hit, you had been smitten with him. You hoped that your little crush was nothing more than a fleeting physical attraction, one that would fade away over time, but unfortunately it was not. The more time you spent getting to know him, the more you realized that, as stunningly beautiful as he was on the outside, he was even more breathtaking on the inside.

Kim Taehyung was like the sun. He radiated energy and warmth and simply being in his presence made you feel brighter and more alive. His smile was infectious, as was his laugh, and he offered both of them freely to anyone and everyone he met. He felt deeply and wore his heart on his sleeve; he was unashamedly honest and unapologetically himself. He was kind and thoughtful and loyal, creative and hardworking and passionate. He was, quite frankly, the most wonderful human being you’d ever met.

No matter how hard you tried to fight it, no matter how many times you reminded yourself of the crystal clear rules of your contract, your feelings for him only deepened. Every time he smiled at you or said something sweet, you felt yourself inching closer to the line you swore you would never cross. Days turned into weeks and weeks turned into a month and now here you were, teetering on the edge of something you were all but certain you could never come back from.

“Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I’m really glad you’re still here,” he then said quietly, getting a little shy himself.

“I have so much fun working with you and I hope you know that I don’t just see you as my stylist, but also as my friend,” he then continued as he turned back towards you with a little smile.

“Thanks, Tae. It means so much to hear you say that,” you replied back, genuinely touched by his words.

”I definitely consider you a friend, too,” you then added before giving him a bashful smile in return.

For a few seconds, the two of you sat there in comfortable silence soaking in the sweet moment until eventually he reached for the Tupperware on the table.

“I just visited home this past weekend and my Mom made my favorite strawberry cake,” he explained as he opened the container to reveal the delicious treat. “I remember you said you loved strawberries so I brought you some.”

“I...I do love them,” you said softly, growing shy again upon realizing he had remembered you said that once.

“But, I feel bad having it if she made it especially for you,” you then added, giving him a little pout.

“Don’t feel bad. I’ve already eaten entirely too much of it,” he admitted as he started cutting two pieces and putting them on paper plates.

“Seriously, you’re going to have to let out all of my clothes,” he joked lightheartedly.

At that you couldn’t help but let out a loud, genuine laugh.

“Besides, she made extra just so I could bring you some,” he went on as he handed you a plate.

“Well, thank you,” you said, your heart fluttering wildly knowing he’d thought of you while he was away. “And, please tell your Mom I said thank you, too.”

Not wanting him to see the suspiciously strawberry-like hue that once again adorned your cheeks, you quickly turned your attention to your cake. You were just about to take your first bite when a strong gust of wind blew across the roof and caught the paper plate like a parachute. In slow motion, you watched as the plate and the cake flew backwards directly into your chest. For several moments, you sat there frozen, your eyes wide and your mouth agape. Eventually, you slowly looked down and pulled the plate away only to discover that most of the cake remained stuck to your shirt in a giant lump.

You were mortified. Truly the most embarrassed you had ever been in your entire life. You wished another huge gust of wind would blow you off the roof or that aliens would come and abduct you or that a portal to another world would open up beneath you and swallow you whole. Anything to save you from the sheer torture of sitting next to the man you were head over heels for while covered in cake, looking like the world’s biggest idiot.

You were legitimately on the verge of tears when suddenly Tae did the absolute last thing you could have imagined him doing at that moment: he smushed his cake against his own chest. Whipping your head around to look at him, you found him looking totally nonchalant as he dipped a finger into the sugary mess and then popped it into his mouth.

“Cake shirt,” he said casually. “The latest, greatest, and tastiest fashion trend.”

Two seconds later the two of you began laughing so loudly that you were positive all of Seoul heard you. You laughed so hard you cried and at some point tears of gratitude mixed in with the tears of laughter. What he had done was truly ridiculous, but also just so unbelievably selfless. He took what was a terribly embarrassing incident for you and turned it into a silly, wonderful moment for you both. It was honestly one of the nicest things anyone had ever done for you.

And just like that, you had fallen.

When you got home that night, though, and the weight of it all finally sank in, you laid on your bed and cried an ocean of tears for you knew without question that your love for Kim Taehyung would only ever lead to one thing: heartbreak...

***

You didn’t know how long you had been up there. All you knew was that the sunset had come and gone and the pale light of the moon was now reflected in the dark water below. Your back was stiff from sitting for so long, your stomach was growling because you hadn’t eaten dinner, and you were cold, so very cold.

At some point you had pulled your Clair de Lune music box from the hidden pocket of your bag. Over and over and over again you wound it up and let it go, letting the sad, but beautiful melody wash over you. The sound that flowed from the small, jeweled box both soothed and tormented you. This seemed only fitting given that the person who gave it to you was the very man you both loved and hated with every single piece of your shattered heart.

As the final notes of the little tune drifted off into the night, you were about to wind the crank for the umpteenth time when suddenly the rooftop door slammed open. You flinched at the loud, intrusive sound, and frowned momentarily at how it disturbed your melancholic peace, but quickly reverted back to your catatonic state.

“Jagi?” you heard Tae shouting from across the roof, the panic in his voice evident. “Sweetheart, are you out here?”

Of course he had found you.

You didn’t answer him, but it didn’t matter because a few seconds later he rushed over to the table where you were sitting.

“Thank god you’re alright,” he said breathlessly as he threw his arms around you.

Whether from numbness due to the cold or the fact that you had long ago resigned yourself to simply stop feeling anything at all, you didn’t know, but at his touch you didn’t even shudder. You just sat there motionless and stoic.

“Sweetheart, you’re freezing,” he added a second later, clearly alarmed as he immediately stripped off his jacket and draped it over your shoulders. “How long have you been out here?”

“Jagi, I’ve been looking everywhere for you,” he went on when you didn’t respond. “I waited and waited for you to call or text when you got home, but you never did. When I called your phone it went straight to voicemail and that never happens. Eventually, I went home to make sure you were OK, but you weren’t there. I went to your old apartment and you weren’t there either. I called Jia, but she hadn't heard from you. I had Jimin text Eunji to see if the stylists went out for drinks or something, but that wasn’t it either. I finally just came back here hoping to get some idea as to where you went and then I saw your car was still here. I searched the whole building twice before I thought to come up here.”

“I was so worried,” he then said, his voice shaky and hoarse. “I was afraid something terrible happened to you, that you got into a car accident or some crazy sasaeng fan kidnapped you or worse.”

His words were sweet and laden with concern, the exact kind one would expect from a loving partner, but they had no effect on you whatsoever. For all you knew, absolutely none of them were true. Upon hearing them, you didn’t look up at him or even acknowledge that he was there.

“Jagi, what’s wrong? Why are you up here all alone in the cold?” he then questioned, now sounding incredibly nervous.

Again, you didn’t respond. You just kept staring blankly ahead off into the distance.

“Sweetheart, please talk to me,” he pleaded as he took your cold hands in his. “Are you hurt? Did someone hurt you?”

Yes. You.

At that, you finally brought your gaze up to meet his. The cruel irony of his question caused something inside you to snap and you suddenly found yourself unable to hold it in any longer.

“Why did you lie and say Namjoon asked you to stay at the dorms?” you demanded sharply as you ripped your hands away from his.

“What?” he asked, clearly taken aback by the harshness of both your words and actions.

“Answer the question, Tae,” you ordered, glaring at him sternly. “Why did you lie to me?”

“Sweetheart, I-I’m...I just…,” he stammered before his voice trailed off.

He looked so confused and frightened right now, like he was in a state of legitimate shock, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care and just ploughed forward with your interrogation.

“Why did you lie about having me sent to TXT today?” you shot back heatedly.

Silence.

“Why did you lie about where you were last night?” you then spat out.

Crickets.

“Why do you keep lying to me?” you finally shouted, throwing your hands up in frustration.

“Jagi...I-I…It’s not…I can explain...,” he sputtered out before words seemed to once again fail him completely.

For what felt like an eternity you waited for that explanation, but when it didn’t come, and all he did was just stare at you with wide, horrified eyes, the dam inside you broke. In an instant, the blind rage you had been filled with vanished, leaving nothing but sheer desolation in its wake.

“If you can’t answer that question, then maybe you can answer this one,” you then said sadly as  tears welled up in your eyes. “How long have you been cheating on me with Jisoo?”

“W-What?” he whispered as his mouth went slack and the color completely drained from his face.

“Was last night the first time?” you asked, hating how broken and pathetic you sounded right now. “Or just the first time you accidentally let her leave marks?”

“That’s why you’re avoiding me, right? Why you kept your shirt on last night and why you didn't want me around you at the photoshoot today and why you wanted to stay at the dorms?” you added. “Because you don’t want me to see them?”

“She showed me the ones you left on her, the ones all over her chest,” you admitted tearfully as the terrible image appeared in your mind. “She showed me and then told me I should leave you because I was embarrassing myself by desperately clinging to someone who doesn’t love me.”

“She…she did...she said what?” he breathed out as he stood there aghast, seemingly unable to comprehend what you were saying.

“If you were tired of me you should have just broken up with me,” you then cried as a terrible sob left you. “You should have just told me that you didn’t love me anymore and left.”

“Instead you just kept lying to me, making promises you never intended to keep, all while seeing her behind my back,” you went on between shuddering breaths.

“She tried to tell me several times and I even saw your text messages with her under the secret contact ‘J’, but still I refused to believe it was true,” you continued bitterly. “That’s how pathetic I apparently am.”

“Oh my god...Jagi, no...it’s not...,” he began before you cut him off.

“My heart broke every single time I saw you hold her hand or kiss her cheek or call her Jagi, but I endured that heartache because I trusted that you were just pretending, that you only did it because you loved me,” you sobbed, your words almost incoherent.

“I trusted you, but all you did was lie to me and use me and hurt me,” you then said with a final whimper.

By the time you were done, your chest was heaving from the exertion of your outburst. You honestly thought for a second you might pass out, that’s how lightheaded and weary you felt, but after closing your eyes and taking several deep breaths the feeling eventually subsided. When you opened them again your gaze met Tae’s and the sadness you saw there in his big, brown eyes made your heart absolutely ache.

Speaking all of that into existence was supposed to make you feel lighter and freer. You were supposed to feel like a massive burden had been lifted off of your shoulders. But as you stood there watching his face start to crumple, saw his lower lip begin to tremble, the crushing weight you had been feeling all evening only grew heavier. As the tears began slowly trickling down his face, you tried to convince yourself they were tears of guilt, but with each passing second it became harder and harder to believe that.

Deep down in the pit of your stomach, a terrible, gnawing feeling began eating away at you from the inside out. You had imagined him reacting to this confrontation in a number of ways - getting defensive, looking guilty, becoming angry, evading your questions entirely - but you had not imagined this. The devastation you saw on his face was the same kind of devastation you had seen in your own reflection back in the elevator, the kind of devastation you only feel when the person you love most in the entire world absolutely shatters your heart.

“I-I’m not ch-,” he tried to say before his voice broke.

It looked like he was struggling to not just speak, but to simply breathe, and it took him several moments to regain his composure. Despite everything that had happened, how hurt and angry and scared you were, it still absolutely killed you to see him like this.

“I’m not cheating,” he finally managed to say, his voice shaky and strained, like it physically pained him to speak those words.

“I-I would never do that to you,” he went on as he wiped at his tears with the back of his hand. “I would never hurt you and betray you like that.”

“Then tell me what you’re hiding from me,” you quietly begged, afraid to let yourself believe he was telling the truth right now, but wishing desperately that he was.

“Please just tell me what was so important that you had to lie to me over and over again and physically hide from me,” you pleaded.

Slowly, wordlessly, he began unbuttoning his shirt, his tear-filled eyes never once leaving yours. Only once they were all undone and he had pulled back the two pieces of fabric did you tear your gaze away from his. Looking down at his exposed chest, you were met with a sight that instantly stole your breath:

Nothing.

There was nothing.

No bruises or bites or scratches. Not a single blemish on his smooth, honey skin.

However, it was not the absence of any signs of an intimate night that had stolen your breath, but the absence of something else.

Something beautiful and dazzling.

Something you had spent many hours gazing at and daydreaming about.

Something that Tae would use when he went to ask the most important question of his life.

“I’m getting my grandmother’s ring resized,” he whispered, “because I was going to propose.”

The moment those words left his lips, time itself came to a screeching halt. You felt suffocated, like a thousand pound weight had been dropped on your chest and you could not take even a single breath. For what might have been just seconds but felt like hours, neither of you spoke. You just stared into each other’s eyes, tears silently streaming down both your faces, until eventually he broke the agonizing silence.

“I’ve been secretly going to a jeweler's,” he said despondently, his voice wavering on every other word. “They’re the same ones who made the couple’s ring I gave you so I knew I could trust them to be discreet. I went there last Sunday so I could let them look at it and figure out how they were going to expand it. They said it wouldn’t be too difficult and that it shouldn’t take more than a few hours, but when I took it back last night everything went wrong. The band broke when they tried to stretch it and then the purple diamond fell out. They ended up having to keep it and told me to come back on Monday to pick it up.”

He then pulled out his phone and hastily navigated to his photos, swiping furiously until he stopped on one with a timestamp from last night and then handed the device to you. On the screen in front of you, against a backdrop of black velvet, was his grandmother’s ring, looking exactly as he’d just described. There was an obvious fracture in the silver band, the two disjointed ends thinned and misaligned. Next to the ring the purple diamond laid forlorn, having lost all its former luster and magnificence. The state of the ring mimicked your own with excruciating accuracy; it was utterly broken.

“I was so frustrated afterwards,” he went on, running his hands through his hair as fresh tears poured down his face. “Frustrated and scared because I didn’t want you to know that I didn’t have it. I’ve been talking so much lately about marrying you. I’ve been so excited that I’ve been talking about it too much . And, you’re so smart, Jagi. I knew you would realize right away that it wasn’t a coincidence if it just randomly went missing. You know I wear it constantly. When I sleep. When I shower. When we’re intimate. The only times I ever take it off are during performances when I’m afraid it will pop out and people will see and get the wrong idea. If you saw me without it you would have known something was up.”

“So I panicked and literally hid from you,” he continued, getting upset all over again as he got up and started frantically pacing back and forth. “I turned the thermostat down and wore a shirt to bed last night and hoped you would think I was just cold. I left early so you wouldn’t see me in the shower and so I could talk to Jimin and try to figure out a plan. I didn’t know what I was going to do since you obviously would have seen my chest while you were getting me ready, but then I bumped into Baekhyun and came up with the plan for you to help them.”

“And then I just had to go to the dorms for the rest of the weekend. I couldn’t be at home with you and keep hiding, not when all I wanted to do was be close to you. After how awful I was to you last night, I just wanted to take care of you and show you how sorry I am and how much I love you. I wanted to cuddle with you and make love to you and take a bubble bath together with that lavender oil that you love so much. But, if I did those things you would have seen my ring was gone and you would have known,” he said, sounding truly tormented.

“I felt terrible lying to you, but I didn’t know what else to do,” he then admitted, his voice thick with guilt and regret. “I’ve been planning this for months and dreaming about it for years. I didn't want to ruin the surprise. After everything that’s happened and how strong and patient and incredible you’ve been, I wanted this to be perfect for you, sweetheart. I wanted to give you the most romantic and special and memorable proposal because that’s what you deserve.”

For the briefest of moments, you saw the ghost of a smile on his lips, but in the blink of an eye it was gone as an awful realization seemed to sweep over him like a chilling breeze.

“And, Jisoo…she…she knew everything,” he then said in a hushed, almost frightened voice, teardrops glistening on his grief-stricken face. “Because I…I told her everything.”

At his words, the already throbbing ache in your chest intensified exponentially. The fact that she hadn’t secretly uncovered this precious information, but that he had willingly divulged it, made all of this that much more heartbreaking.

“When I first talked to your Dad he asked me what my intentions were and I told him right then that I wanted to marry you. That’s why we were on the phone for so long,” he confessed. “I was going to officially ask for his blessing at Christmas which meant the faking dating needed to be over by then. There was absolutely no way I was going to look your father in the eye and ask for your hand in marriage while even pretending to be involved with another woman.”

“But, the Sunday night when Jisoo and I talked on the phone she was adamant that we keep going until after New Year’s. I told her we had to stop long before then, but she was being stubborn and kept asking why and saying it would look suspicious to break up just before the holidays. Eventually, I left the room and told her what I was planning and why it was so important that we end everything sooner,” he admitted remorsefully.

“She was so understanding and supportive when I told her and after that she kept asking how the planning was going and offering advice and words of encouragement. That day in her recording lab I was telling her some of my proposal ideas and she was just so excited for us,” he explained, sounding so distressed, so betrayed.

“At least, she pretended to be excited,” he added quietly as his head fell into his hands. “Just like she pretended to be upset today when I told her what happened to the ring.”

“But, all along she...she was planning this,” he then whispered, his gaze fixed on the ground in a blank, lifeless stare as the realization of what she had done finally hit him.

The silence that then followed was deafening. Deafening and suffocating and truly unbearable. There were simply no words to describe all that you felt in that moment.

The shock.

The heartbreak.

The rage.

Jisoo had played you. Like a violin, she had played you both, masterfully orchestrating the intricate and deadly symphony that served as the soundtrack to the implosion of your relationship.

She knew. She fucking knew.

She knew the gravity of this precious secret, knew the extraordinary lengths he would go to in order to keep it, and cruelly exploited that to her advantage. She took Tae’s innocence and romanticism, twisted and distorted them into weapons, and forced him to unknowingly wield them against you.

This tactic of psychological warfare had never been more successfully and savagely put to use than it had been today. The way she manipulated the situation was ingenious. It was sadistic and selfish and truly unforgivable, but undeniably ingenious. She knew he was hiding from you and waited until the exact moment that you were most vulnerable to provide you with what seemed, at the time, to be the only logical explanation for Tae’s confusing and hurtful behavior.

The heartbreaking truth in all this was that you would have been suspicious if Tae’s ring went missing all of a sudden. Whenever he had his shirt off, it was the first thing that caught your eye. When you showered together, you liked to twist your fingers around the chain and gently tug him towards you with it. If you wore a tank top to sleep, the cool metal of the band sometimes tickled your back when he snuggled you against him. When he made love to you, it dangled down and brushed against your own chest. Any time you got him dressed for a shoot or interview or performance, you checked to make sure it was well hidden. You had been intrigued by it the very first time you saw it peeking out of his shirt all those years ago, but now that you knew it was one day destined for your finger it was even more mesmerizing.

The fact that Tae had been talking about marriage a lot lately would have only added to your suspicion. Since that day on the couch when he first told you he wanted to marry you, the topic had come up numerous times. You talked about it after he told you about his dream. He once casually asked you what time of year you thought would be best for a wedding. While you were watching a movie where someone proposed via a flash mob, he nonchalantly asked if you would like a grand gesture like that or want it to be more low key. One morning while you were snuggling in bed he even shyly referred to you as ‘future Mrs. Kim’.

Him saying Thursday night that he wanted to start a family in the next few years made you realize he was thinking of getting married much sooner than you initially thought. You didn’t know he was planning to propose this soon, but you did wonder if it might happen sometime in the next year. If he suddenly ‘lost’ his ring a day later, you definitely would have found that to be more than a little suspect, especially because you knew it needed to be resized before he proposed with it.

You knew this because you had asked Tae once if he ever put it on and he said no for two reasons: one, because it didn’t feel right to do so and two, because it wouldn’t fit anyway. Despite the fact that Tae had huge hands, his grandmother apparently had extremely tiny ones. He said the ring was so small that it wouldn’t even fit you. You involuntarily pouted a little after he said that as the idea of it perhaps not truly being meant for you crossed your mind, but he kissed your pouty lips, pulled back to give you a cheeky smile, and said, ‘it doesn’t fit you yet’.

The true gravity of the situation then hit you like a freight train. He was going to propose, was going to devote himself to you in the most meaningful and sacred of ways, and you just accused him of cheating, the most hurtful and disgraceful act one can commit against their partner. The irony was unbearably cruel. The whole situation was a complete and utter nightmare.

One which Jisoo had brought to life.

All at once, it was just too much. Too much information. Too many emotions. Too much to process and comprehend and accept. You just couldn’t handle it. You were so tired, so physically and mentally and emotionally drained. There was simply nothing left inside you.

The lightheadedness was back now, only this time it was infinitely worse. Your head began spinning and the ground beneath you started shifting and soon you were swaying on your feet. You felt nauseous too and suddenly so confused. You somehow couldn’t remember how or why you even ended up on the roof in the first place.

In a heartbeat Tae was in front of you, reaching up with both hands to gently cup your face. He was saying something, but you couldn’t make out the words. You couldn’t even hear him. It was like you were underwater, like everything was muted and heavy and happening in slow motion.

The world then started to fade away, the edges of your vision growing blurry until the only thing you could see was Tae, your Tae. The last thing you remember was the sound of his voice shouting your name and the feeling of his arms around you before everything went dark.

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TGTBT Big Secret Musings

Now that the big secret is out, I am curious to know how people feel about the whole situation. Between Y/N, Tae, and Jisoo, how would you breakdown their individual responsibility for what has happened? (ex: 90% Jisoo, 5% Y/N, 5% Tae) Obviously, mistakes were made on all sides (though, in Jisoo’s case it’s more a blatant betrayal than a mistake), but who bears the majority of the blame?!

Too Good To Be True - Ch. 50 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 4.0k

warnings: none

A/N: Sorry for the delay on this one! It was my husband’s 30th birthday last week and I was a little swamped getting ready to have family over to celebrate :)

Chapter 50: I Promise

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“Y/N. Can you hear me? Sweetheart, please wake up. Please come back to me…”

The words were faint at first, softer than a whisper, but they grew louder and louder until eventually you heard them clear as day and recognized the voice that was speaking. It was his voice, your favorite voice in the whole world, the one that whispered the sweetest nothings, sang the most beautiful songs, and spoke the most loving words.

“Tae?” you mumbled out, curling your fingers around the hand you hoped was his.

“She’s finally awake...yes, I will…OK, thank you,” you heard him quickly say to someone.

“I’m here, Jagi,” he then said tenderly as he gave your hand a reassuring squeeze. “I’m here.”

Slowly opening your eyes, you found him kneeling over you, worry written all over his tear-stained face. When you glanced over his shoulder and saw the night sky, you realized you were laying on the ground. The next thing you noticed was that your feet were propped up underneath your bag and his jacket was draped over you. Confusion settled in as you tried to remember how you ended up in this position but couldn’t come up with any sort of explanation.

“Sweetheart, you fainted,” he told you, reading your bewildered expression. “You were unconscious for over a minute.”

“I kept calling your name, but you wouldn’t wake up,” he went on, looking at you with wide, terrified eyes.

“I-I’ve never been more scared in my entire life,” he then added, his voice breaking as he leaned down and kissed your forehead.

He kept his lips there for several seconds and when he pulled back to look at you his eyes were glistening. His grip on your hand tightened a bit as he looked away momentarily, taking a deep breath as if to collect himself. Even in your hazy state you could tell that he was shaken by what had happened and trying to be strong for you. The fear and helplessness he must have felt was something you could fully empathize with; you had watched him collapse backstage once after a particularly grueling string of performances and had nearly had a heart attack because you were so worried. Wanting to comfort him with a hug, you began trying to sit up, but he immediately stopped you.

“Don’t get up, Jagi,” he said, his voice laden with concern as he urged your shoulders back down. “It’s not safe yet.”

“You need to keep laying down,” he continued more softly as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “If you get up now you could get dizzy again.”

“I called 911 and they sent an ambulance,” he then told you hesitantly. “I just want you to rest until they get here, OK?”

“A-Ambulance?” you questioned nervously, a wave of anxiety coursing through you upon realizing where an ambulance would take you. “No, no, no.”

“I-I don’t want to go to the emergency room,” you said, panic rising in your voice as you shook your head and withdrew from him. “Call them back and tell them not to come.”

It was no secret to Tae that you were afraid of hospitals. After practically living in one all those months when your mom was sick and slowly fading away, you had developed a serious aversion to them. You were OK going to regular doctor’s appointments at outpatient clinics, but going to the hospital itself was a whole different story. Just seeing one on television or in a movie always brought you right back to those dark days, ones where all you ever got was bad news and all you ever felt was hopelessness. The idea of stepping foot in one had you filled with absolute dread, especially if you were going to be the patient.

“Jagi, you were unconscious for a long time,” he said worriedly as he caressed your hand to try and soothe your nerves. “You have to be seen by a doctor to make sure you’re OK.”

In the back of your mind you knew he was right. Usually when someone fainted they woke up after only a few seconds. Being out for more than a minute was definitely a red flag, one that didn’t necessarily mean anything was seriously wrong, but which indicated medical attention was recommended. Still, the idea of going to the emergency room, and being taken in an ambulance, no less, was absolutely terrifying.

What was most frightening, though, was the idea of being taken in an ambulance from Big Hit, the place around which all your lies and secrets revolved. Ambulances weren’t discreet. They didn’t arrive quietly and sneakily whisk you away. They showed up with loud sirens and flashing lights. They made a scene, one which everyone in the building, and anyone outside the building, for that matter, would be drawn to.

“B-But if an ambulance comes here p-people will see and then they’ll ask q-questions about us and why we’re up here together and why I fainted and…,” you stammered out before an awful realization suddenly hit you and your voice trailed off.

Your fight with Tae is why you fainted

Memories from before you fainted came flooding back to you like a torrential acid rain, seeping into every crevice of your mind and scorching your every thought. All the terrible things you said when you accused him of cheating. How completely devastated he looked afterwards. The truth about his grandmother's ring and his plan to propose. Jisoo’s betrayal and how you walked right into her trap. It was all such a mess, one you now couldn’t help but feel responsible for. Once again you had let your insecurities get the best of you, but this time you feared the damage you’d caused was simply beyond repair.

“Oh god, our fight,” you whispered as the guilt welled up inside you and your eyes filled with tears.

Reliving this awful moment, the one where you realized you made the biggest mistake of your life, was the cruelest form of torture. You felt like you had woken up from a bad dream only to discover that reality itself was the true nightmare. It made complete sense now why your body had simply given out when you finally learned the truth; the weight of this revelation was absolutely crushing. As the tears started pouring out, you felt your chest tightening and your throat closing. You were on the verge of losing it entirely when Tae reached out to you.

“Sweetheart, please don’t cry,” he pleaded, bringing his hands up to cup your cheeks. “It’s going to be alright. We’re going to be alright. I promise we’ll talk about everything and figure it all out soon, but right now I need you to calm down. Can you do that for me?”

Closing your eyes and focusing on just the feel of his warm hands cradling your face, you felt yourself slowly coming back from the edge.

“The only thing that matters right now is that you’re OK,”  he then said softly as he brushed away your tears with his thumbs.

“I know you’re nervous about the ambulance coming here and taking you to the hospital, but I’m going to be with you the whole time,” he assured you. “No matter what happens.”

“Y-You promise?” you asked between shuddered breaths.

“I promise,” he replied earnestly.

“Now let’s just rest until they get here, OK?” he then said as he laid down on his side next to you. “Can you come lay down with me?”

“OK,” you hiccupped.

You laid your head back down and closed your eyes. The ground was hard and cold, rather uncomfortable, but you tried your best to relax, taking slow, deep breaths of the crisp night air. While you were laying there, Tae began gently running his fingers through your hair and softly singing ‘Sweet Night’, two things he often did when you were feeling overwhelmed. In his touch and the sound of his voice you found comfort and by the time he finished the song you had finally started to calm down. For the first time since you woke up in a terrified daze, you felt like everything was going to be OK, but then the elevator suddenly opened up behind you.

In the blink of an eye, the safe, peaceful atmosphere Tae had created for you was shattered as the roof filled with people: two paramedics, Bang PD, Manager Sejin, Mrs. Choi, and a couple other administrative staff members. Tae pulled his hands away from you the moment he heard the doors open and scrambled to button up his shirt while getting to his feet, but it was clear from everyone’s curious expressions that they had seen him in that compromising position beside you.

The next thing you knew, you were being hoisted up onto a gurney. The jarring movement brought another wave of lightheadedness as well as some nausea and for a few moments you just laid there, eyes tightly screwed shut as you tried to get it together. The fact that everyone then started talking all at once only made things worse, but the paramedics quickly quieted everyone and began tending to you.

As they took your vitals, they asked you a flurry of questions about what happened, how you were feeling, your medical history, and so much more. It was incredibly overwhelming and you were grateful Tae was there helping you answer their questions since your memory was still fuzzy. It briefly registered with you that he probably shouldn’t be revealing that he knew things like the medications you took, but everything was happening so fast that you didn’t have time to warn him.

“Can you please explain to me again what happened,” one of the paramedics asked, directing the question to Tae.

“Y/N was sitting up here for a long time because she was upset about something. I don’t know how long, but I think at least a couple hours which means she didn’t have dinner. I went looking for her and when I found her we had an argument and she got really upset and afterwards she fainted,” he explained nervously.

“I caught her before she fell, laid her down and elevated her feet like you’re supposed to, and then called 911. They had me check her pulse and breathing which seemed normal, but when she still wasn’t awake after a minute they sent the ambulance. She finally woke up soon after that, but she was really confused at first and didn’t remember what happened,” he continued.

“Was this argument physical in any way?” the paramedic then asked, now looking at you.

His insinuation that Tae might have purposefully done something to hurt you made your insides churn. It simply couldn’t be further from the truth. He had spent all night looking out for you and taking care of you.

“No, of course not,” you said immediately.

“Tae would never hurt me,” you then added, your voice catching as tears pricked at your eyes.

Instinctively, Tae reached down and took your hand, carefully interlacing his fingers with yours. You knew he shouldn’t have done it with all these people around, but you couldn’t bring yourself to pull away. In that moment, it was infinitely more important that he knew you trusted him wholeheartedly and didn’t blame him for what happened.

The whole time you were talking with the paramedics, Bang PD and Manager Sejin were anxiously waiting in the background, talking heatedly amongst themselves. You saw Bang PD receive several phone calls and each one seemed to make him more flustered than the last. The moment they heard the paramedic ask if the argument was physical, though, they rushed over.

“I’m sorry, miss. I didn’t mean to make you upset,” the paramedic then said gently. “We just have to ask in a situation like this.”

“It sounds like it was a simple faint triggered by a combination of low blood sugar and emotional distress,” he went on after a few moments. “You’re probably fine, but since you were unconscious for so long we need to take you to the hospital to rule out anything more serious.”

“O-OK,” you replied weakly.

“We’ll be leaving soon. I just need to speak with my partner first,” the paramedic then said before he turned and walked away.

You knew a trip to the emergency room was likely unavoidable, but having it confirmed still sent a wave of panic washing over you. Were it not for Tae gently rubbing your thumb with his to remind you that you weren’t alone and it was going to be alright, you might have started hyperventilating again. Looking up at him, you were met with the sight of an encouraging smile, but the comfort it brought you was unfortunately short-lived.

“Taehyung, what were you thinking?” Manager Sejin demanded the moment the paramedic was out of earshot.

“You had an altercation with a female staff member that has resulted in her needing to be hospitalized. Your 911 call was surely recorded and could get leaked. These paramedics have also seen you and know everything. A crowd has already gathered outside the building because of the ambulance. The press won’t stop calling and asking what’s happened and who’s hurt,” he added angrily. “Do you have any idea how all of this looks?”

Manager Sejin was usually very kind and soft-spoken so seeing him so upset was rather alarming. The last time you had seen him like this was the evening of The Late Late Show interview when Tae had slipped up and said ‘Jagi’ on live television. It had devastated Tae to know that someone he looked up to and respected so much had been so disappointed in him and one glance at his crestfallen expression told you he was once again feeling that shame.

“Tae didn’t do anything wrong,” you interjected hesitantly, trying to smooth things over. “It was an accident and he was only trying to help.”

“Y/N, please just stay out of this,” Manager Sejin replied curtly. “You’ve done enough already.”

Upon hearing those sharp words, you stiffened. You knew having an ambulance come here was going to create drama, but you were definitely not expecting this level of hostility. All at once, your hope that everything was going to be alright began to crumble.

“Don’t talk to her like that,” Tae said back, his words coming out surprisingly harsh, especially given he was talking to one of his elders. “None of this was her fault.”

By now Mrs. Choi had made her way over to the group. Standing beside the gurney you were laying on, she placed her hand on your shoulder in a way that felt somewhat protective.

“If she wasn’t up here in the first place none of this would have happened,” Manager Sejin argued as he peered down at you disdainfully.

“But, you should have contacted one of us before you called 911,” he then continued, looking back at Tae. “That way we could have handled this situation discreetly.”

“Please tell me you are not suggesting that the reputation of BTS is more important than the health of one of your employees,” Mrs. Choi suddenly said, her tone icy as she glared at the older man.

“Enough,” Bang PD hissed before anyone could say anything further. “We’re not having this conversation here.”

“Taehyung, go downstairs and wait for us in my office,” he then added sternly. “Once the ambulance leaves we can discuss what to say to the press and how to minimize your involvement in this situation.”

“No,” Tae immediately said. “I’m going to the hospital with Y/N.”

“Absolutely not,” Bang PD replied, his tone severe and unyielding. “This is already enough of a fiasco. If you go to the hospital someone will surely recognize you. It would be a PR nightmare, not to mention a huge security threat.”

“I’ll wear a mask and a hat and sunglasses,” Tae quickly offered. “I promise I’ll keep a low profile.”

“Taehyung,” the older man protested, clearly growing frustrated.

“Tae, it’s OK,” you murmured.

“No, it’s not OK,” he said quietly, looking down at you with a worried expression. “You’re hurt and it’s my fault and I have to be there to take care of you.”

Your heart simultaneously swelled and dropped at his words. The truth was you did want him there, needed him there, honestly, but the situation was quickly getting out of hand. The more he pushed to come with you, the worse everything would get. You gazed back at him with wide, searching eyes, silently begging him to back down, but he didn’t.

“I’m not letting her go to the hospital by herself,” Tae then said more forcefully as he turned back towards the group. “Being there makes her anxious because of everything that happened with her mom.”

“She won’t be by herself,” Mrs. Choi said, giving your shoulder an affectionate squeeze. “I’ll ride with her to the hospital.”

As much as you wanted Tae to be the one coming with you, you found yourself feeling genuinely comforted by the thought of Mrs. Choi accompanying you. That day you met with her in her office you had actually told her more than you initially intended to about your mom, more than you had even told many of your close friends. It had felt surprisingly natural to open up to her like that. She didn’t know everything that you went through, but she knew enough to understand that your apprehension about going to the hospital was very real.

“See? She won’t be alone,” Bang PD placated, jumping at the opportunity to hopefully end this once and for all. “And, I’m sure Mrs. Choi will keep you updated on how she’s doing.”

“You don’t understand,” Tae said, running his hair through his hair in frustration. “I have to be there. I promised I would be there.”

“Tae,” you breathed out as you tightly gripped his hand.

He had already been acting dangerously affectionate and protective, but right now he was being entirely too obvious. Any second now someone was going to start putting two and two together and you would both be screwed. Although you were planning to leave Big Hit soon and reveal your relationship, these were not the circumstances under which you envisioned doing so.

Honestly, you were going to suggest to Tae that the two of you wait until a couple months after you resigned to announce you had started dating. Sure, people might make assumptions that you had gotten together before you left, but at least then it would be too late for either of you to be disciplined. By that time you would also be settled into a new job and wouldn’t have to worry about a black mark on your record hindering your career.

“Taehyung, please be reasonable,” Bang PD implored, his patience beginning to grow thin. “It is not practical for you to go with her, nor is it appropriate. They’ll be running all sorts of tests and she’ll need privacy.”

“We’ll call her emergency contact and have them meet her there,” Manager Sejin then added, his tone ever so slightly biting. “They can take care of her.”

The undertone of hostility in those remarks did not go unnoticed by Tae and ultimately proved to be his undoing.

“Her emergency contact is me,” Tae shot back furiously, his composure finally snapping. “I’m the one who is supposed to take care of her and make sure she’s safe and healthy and happy.”

“I already failed her once,” he then admitted, his voice suddenly thick with emotion. “I let her get hurt. I let this happen. I-I have to make it right now.”

“I have to go with her to the hospital,” he declared. “I have to hold her hand when they draw her blood because she doesn't like needles. I have to help her explain her family medical history because it’s hard for her to talk about her mom without getting really upset. I’ll have to force her to eat the hospital food because she needs to regain her strength, but she’s such a picky eater. I’ll have to ask the nurse for an extra blanket because she’ll definitely get cold, but will be too shy to tell anyone. I’ll have to call her sister and tell her what happened because Y/N never wants anyone to worry and always tries to take care of herself without asking for help. I have to be there for her and make sure she’s OK because I would never forgive myself if anything ever happened to her.”

“So either you let me ride in that ambulance or I drive myself to the hospital, because I’m not breaking my promise to be there with her,” he then all but shouted.

For a few moments no one spoke as the weight of Tae’s outburst slowly sunk in. He might not have outright said it, but he had clearly said more than enough for them to put the pieces together. With bated breath, you watched as everyone’s eyes flickered back and forth between you and Tae and then down at your joined hands. Slowly but surely, you saw the realization dawn on each one of them.

“You’re not dating Jisoo,” Bang PD simply stated after what felt like an eternity.

“You’re pretending to date her,” he went on, his voice surprisingly even, “to hide your relationship with Y/N.”

Tae didn’t respond, but the guilty expression he wore was more than enough to let Bang PD and everyone else know that his assertions were correct. The two administrative staff members who had been listening in on the conversation let out audible gasps. Manager Sejin muttered something under his breath as he shook his head in disbelief. Mrs. Choi said nothing, but you felt her grip on your shoulder tighten ever-so-slightly. Bang PD just stared at Tae, an unreadable expression spread across his face. He didn’t look angry nor did he look all that surprised. Honestly, it was almost as if he looked a little relieved.

You laid there in stunned silence, still barely breathing as you clutched Tae’s hand like it was the only thing keeping you from floating away. After a few moments, when the initial shock finally began to wear off, you found a strange sense of calm settling over you. The truth was finally out. There would be consequences for sure, and you would obviously have to deal with them at some point, but right now the emotion you felt most strongly was relief: the crushing weight of all those secrets had finally been lifted. And, of all the ways for your big secret to ultimately be revealed, you supposed having Tae give an adorably flustered speech about all the ways he would take care of you was a pretty good one.

“You’re not going in the ambulance and you’re not driving yourself,” Bang PD finally said to break the silence.

“You will be taken by a company driver and will also be accompanied by Manager Sejin,” he then added after a moment of suspense.

“You will be dropped off at the back entrance of the hospital and then discreetly escorted to the private and secluded examination room Miss Y/L/N will be residing in,” he went on authoritatively, now speaking to the paramedic who had rejoined the group at some point amidst the chaos.

“Absolutely sir,” the paramedic replied. “I will call the hospital now and make arrangements.”

“Taehyung, if you would please now go to my office it would be greatly appreciated,” Bang PD then said calmly. “There are some things I’d like to discuss with you before you leave.”

“Yes sir,” Tae said respectfully, his expression of absolute astonishment mirroring your own.

Just before he turned to leave, he bent down, placed the tiniest kiss on your cheek, and then whispered in your ear, “I’ll see you soon, sweetheart.”

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Too Good To Be True - Ch. 51 | kth(m)

Summary: Kim Taehyung is a world famous idol in the hit K-pop group, BTS, and you are his personal stylist. Per your contract with Big Hit, he is absolutely, 100% off-limits, and yet, you are completely and hopelessly in love with him. You’ve spent years trying to shove your feelings down, but it’s getting harder and harder to ignore and hide them, especially considering the way Tae always treats you. He’s affectionate and protective and sometimes outright flirtatious, but that’s how he is with everyone, right? Confused, frustrated, and lovesick, you find yourself wondering if it might finally be worth risking your career and your heart to find out.

pairing: Taehyung x reader

genre: Idol! au, fluff, angst, eventual smut, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: 18+

word count: 8.2k

warnings: none

Chapter 51: The Candle And The Sun

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The moment the paramedics closed the ambulance doors, the gravity of the whole situation finally started sinking in. You had a terrible fight with Tae during which you accused him of cheating and still needed to have what would surely be a heart wrenching conversation with him about it. Your secret was out and you were going to be fired. And, you had fainted, been unconscious for over a minute, and were now headed to the hospital, one of your least favorite places on Earth.

Each one of those experiences was incredibly stressful in and of itself so the fact that they all occurred within the span of an hour was downright overwhelming. As the ambulance roared to life, you could feel the panic beginning to envelop you, but then suddenly Mrs. Choi reached over from where she was sitting beside you and took your hand. She didn’t say anything, just gave you a smile which you returned, but with that small, simple gesture you felt yourself instantly relax. You weren’t alone. It was going to be OK. Taking a deep, steadying breath, you pulled out your phone with your free hand and sent a few quick messages to Tae.

[Taehyung 7:52 PM] I know you’re busy meeting with Bang PD, but I just want to say I’m so sorry for everything.

[Taehyung 7:52 PM] Thank you for taking care of me and sticking up for me and coming with me.

[Taehyung 7:53 PM] I love you and I’ll see you soon.

The drive went by rather quickly and before you knew it, you were being wheeled into the emergency department at the Seoul National University Hospital. Bypassing the horde of people in the waiting room, you were immediately escorted to a private, secluded room just as Bang PD had requested. It looked a little on the nicer side compared to the other hospital rooms you’d had the misfortune of frequenting throughout your mom’s illness, but all in all it was about what you were expecting: cold, sterile, depressing. Thankfully you weren’t alone when the admissions nurse left the room; Mrs. Choi was there to help you get settled in and keep your nerves from running amuck. Even still, you were anxiously waiting for Tae to arrive.

[Taehyung 8:14 PM] Just got to the hospital.

[Taehyung 8:18 PM] I’m in room 304.

[Taehyung 8:20 PM] Mrs. Choi said she can meet you at the back entrance when you arrive and bring you here.

While you waited to hear back from Tae, Mrs. Choi and you made idle chit chat. To your surprise, she did not chastise you for your blatant disregard of the rules of your contract. In fact, she didn’t say anything at all about the massive revelation from the roof and the consequences you were surely going to suffer as a result. On the contrary, she was nothing but supportive, reassuring you numerous times that everything was going to be OK and urging you to rest. Her presence was extremely comforting and you found yourself feeling increasingly grateful that she had offered to come with you.

When the door to your room opened fifteen minutes later, your heart immediately leapt thinking Tae had finally made it, but it sunk back down just as quickly when you realized your visitor was just another nurse. After Mrs. Choi quietly excused herself to the waiting room to give you privacy, the nurse began doing an examination. She checked your vitals again and asked you some general questions about your health and medical history. Next, she had you go into the en-suite bathroom to provide a urine sample so they could run some tests. Finally, she drew some of your blood so even more tests could be done. Once you were done with all that, she let you know that a doctor would be in with you shortly and then exited the room, leaving you alone for the first time since everything happened.

[Taehyung 8:38 PM] They just took my blood and I didn’t even cry.

[Taehyung 8:38 PM] You would be so proud.

[Taehyung 8:39 PM] But, I still wish I could have held your hand.

[Taehyung 8:40 PM] Are you close?

[Taehyung 8:45 PM] Or at least only your way?

You couldn’t deny that you were beginning to get ever-so-slightly stressed that Tae hadn’t arrived yet or, at the very least, responded to your texts. Back on the roof, Bang PD had made it seem like their conversation would be brief, but it had now been over an hour since you left Big Hit. If the whole point of letting Tae come was so that he could be with you during the examinations and procedures and other things that frightened you, why was Bang PD keeping him this long?

When the door opened again a little while later and it once again wasn’t Tae, but rather your doctor, your heart plummeted even further. She was an older woman with a kind face and an even kinder voice, but her warm smile did nothing to calm your nerves. She agreed with the paramedic’s initial assessment, that you fainted due to a combination of low blood sugar from not having dinner and emotional distress from your fight. However, she did still order an electrocardiogram to check for any heart arrhythmias and said a technician would come by soon to administer the test. After telling you to just sit tight and giving you another encouraging smile, she then left the room.

[Taehyung 9:01 PM] They’re going to do an ECG to make sure my heart is OK.

[Taehyung 9:01 PM] I’m kind of nervous.

[Taehyung 9:02 PM] I hope you can get here soon.

As the seconds ticked by and still you received no response, your heart sank lower and lower and lower. You knew an ECG was a standard, completely harmless procedure, but you still wanted Tae there with you when it was performed. You wanted him to hold your hand and rub your thumb with his and remind you that everything was going to be OK. For twenty minutes you sat there staring at your phone, willing it to light up with a message notification, but sadly none ever came. When the door finally opened again and the ECG technician wheeled in the machine, your heart crashed down on the cold basement floor of your chest. Fighting back tears, you sent off a few more messages before putting your phone away so the test could begin.

[Taehyung 9:12 PM] Tae?

[Taehyung 9:12 PM] Is everything OK?

[Taehyung 9:13 PM] Are you still coming?

The second the tech left the room a half hour later, you glanced down at your phone only to be met with the same devastating sight as before: no new messages. Reading and rereading the unanswered string of evermore desperate-sounding ones you sent to Tae, a pit grew in your stomach as you began seriously considering the possibility that he wasn’t actually coming. You wondered if Bang PD changed his mind and decided not to let him come after all or worse, if he never intended for Tae to come in the first place and had only said that so he would leave the roof. You would be disappointed to learn that either of those things were true, but both of them were better than the other explanation swirling through your mind: that Tae had decided not to come.

He had been so affectionate and protective back on the roof, and had promised that the two of you would be OK, but what if that had just been a gut reaction? What if he had only acted that way because he felt guilty that you fainted? What if, now that the crisis was over and he’d had time to think through everything that happened, he was having second thoughts about you and your future together?

You knew it wasn’t productive or healthy to contemplate such things, but you couldn’t help it. You were alone and anxious, physically exhausted and emotionally unstable. The memory of Tae’s reaction to your accusation played on an endless loop in your mind, how his face had crumpled and his lower lip began to tremble before the first few tears slowly spilled out. He looked heartbroken, absolutely shattered, and it was all your fault. If he couldn’t forgive you for the hurt you’d caused and didn’t want to be with you anymore, could you even blame him?

Closing your eyes and taking a deep breath, you tried to corral your toxic, wandering thoughts. He promised he would be there and he promised you two would be OK. He promised. He wouldn’t break that promise. He wouldn’t have said those words if he didn’t mean them.

Right?

In an attempt to calm yourself down, you started singing ‘Sweet Night’ in your head. You tried to imagine the way Tae had done it back on the roof, how soft and soothing his voice had been, but the melody running through your mind right now was the opposite of comforting. It was unmistakably sorrowful, but two lines in particular had your breath hitching and your heart leaping up into your throat.

Now my forever’s falling down Wondering if you’d want me now?

Tae told you once that he wrote ‘Sweet Night’ from the perspective of his future self. Years from now, once he left BTS and you left Big Hit and the rules of your contracts no longer applied, he would come find you and confess his love. The window that was your time spent as colleagues and friends would be closed, but the door to your future as so much more would be wide open. You would walk through it together and the sadness of having once been ‘ships in the night’ would be forgotten entirely.

Unfortunately, that beautiful, picture perfect scenario is not the one that ended up playing out. After slowly drifting towards one another for three years, you grew impatient. You blatantly disregarded the will of the tides and instead chose to force your way forward with reckless haste. But, when the vast expanse of space between you finally disappeared, you didn’t pass by each other as nature intended, you collided, the result of which was your improbable, forbidden, whirlwind romance. And now, rather than floating on in opposite directions, the door still open to one day meet again and move forward together, you were both sinking to the bottom of the sea.

Maybe this was what you deserved. You broke the rules and cheated the system. You tried to have your cake and eat it too, but your plan backfired horrendously and now you were in danger of losing everything. In one fell swoop, you could lose the love of your life, your best friend, and your job. It would be a terrible end to your journey, but you would really only have yourself to blame.

Tears welled up in your eyes as the harsh reality began setting in. It had been almost two hours since you left Big Hit. If Tae was coming, surely he would have arrived by now. While there could still be a valid reason for why he wasn’t with you, his silence warned you not to get your hopes up. At this point, you realized it would probably be best for you to just acknowledge that he wasn’t coming and maybe even tell him you were doing fine on your own. That way if he had chosen not to come he wouldn’t feel so guilty and you also wouldn’t look so pathetic.

With a trembling hand, you pulled out your phone and began typing the message, trying to strike the right balance of contrition and nonchalance. After writing and rewriting it countless times, you were finally about to press send when suddenly the door to your room opened yet again. There in the doorway was a hooded figure, wearing a black facemask and dark sunglasses. The disguise was excellent, the average person would have no idea who was hidden behind it, but you knew instantly who it was.

Tae

For a few moments he just stood there, taking in the sight of you curled up on the bed in a sad, lonely heap, but then he was quickly stepping into the room. The instant the door closed behind him you burst into tears. In a heartbeat, he crossed the room and climbed onto the bed beside you, ripping off the hood, mask, and glasses as he went. As he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you to his chest, you buried your face in the crook of his neck and sobbed, letting out everything you had been holding back since you woke up back on the roof in a terrified daze.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” he said guiltily between kisses to your temple. “I’m sorry I’m so late.”

“I meant to be here hours ago, but my meeting with Bang PD ended up being so long and then the security team had concerns about me coming here,” he went on as he rubbed your back soothingly. “My phone was dead so I couldn’t text you and I didn’t realize until we left just how late it had gotten.”

“But, I…I should have found a way to let you know what was happening,” he then added quietly as you continued to weep, your frail body racking with sobs. “I should have had someone else text you or Mrs. Choi. God, Jagi. I’m so sorry. You…you must have been so worried.”

It took you several minutes to calm down enough so that you could actually speak. The emotion you were most overcome with was relief, but there was a small part of you that was frustrated with him. The last two hours of radio silence had been torture. Just the briefest of messages from him could have put you at ease and stopped you from spiraling.

“I was afraid you weren’t coming,” you finally confessed, your words shaky and muffled.

“I texted you a bunch of times, but you didn’t respond,” you went on. “I started worrying that something was wrong.”

“I-I thought maybe you changed your mind about us being OK,” you then added, your voice breaking at the end.

He hugged you to him even more tightly as he realized just how much worry he had caused you by leaving you all alone and in the dark for so long.

“Sweetheart, I’m so sorry,” he replied back, his voice thick and strained, filled with such pain. “Of course you would worry like that after two hours without hearing from me. It was so careless of me to let that happen. I should have realized the meeting would be long and asked to use someone’s phone as soon as the lawyer got there.”

“I’m so sorry,” he repeated before pressing a long kiss to your forehead.

Any trace of frustration you felt over his lack of communication vanished that instant. You just couldn’t be upset with him. Not when he sounded so remorseful and you were just so happy that he was finally there. And, not when it seemed like he had a valid and highly disconcerting reason to have been too distracted to get in touch with you.

“Baby, it’s OK,” you assured him, pulling back to look at him. “You’re here now and that’s all that matters.”

“But…why did you have to meet with a lawyer?” you then asked nervously. “Are we in that much trouble for breaking our contracts?”

“No, it’s not that,” he quickly replied, giving you a reassuring squeeze. “Honestly, we barely talked at all about our contracts and the fact that we broke them or how we’re going to be disciplined.”

Those words came as quite a bit of a shock, but it was his next ones that had your blood running cold.

“We actually spent the entire time talking about Jisoo,” he then said, his voice hushed.

At the mention of her name, a shiver went up your spine. So much had happened in the last few hours that you had almost forgotten what had been the ultimate catalyst for it all, but suddenly you were right back there with her in the elevator. Just remembering the smug smirk she had given you through the mirror as she flashed you those hickies was enough to make your insides churn.

“From the very beginning Bang PD was suspicious of my ‘relationship’ with her, not because he thought I was fake dating her to hide another relationship, but because he thought she might be blackmailing me,” Tae revealed with a shudder. “That’s obviously a serious accusation and he had no proof so he hadn’t said anything to me yet, but he’s been keeping an eye out for any signs that she was coercing me into being with her.”

“He had a meeting with her recently to discuss her contract renewal and the topic of our ‘relationship’ came up,” he went on. “She apparently made it seem like we were going to be together for a while, but did so in a way that felt strange and forced, like she knew for a fact that I wouldn’t be breaking up with her anytime soon. He said he just got a bad feeling from the conversation and that it reinforced his worry that something was wrong.”

“He was actually going to ask to meet with me next week to talk about it, but then everything happened tonight. When we met in his office, I told him the whole story about the fake dating cover, including that I was planning to propose and how she manipulated the situation and tried to break us up. He’s now more worried than ever that she might try something,” he then said nervously.

“Tae, what exactly do you mean by ‘try something’?” you questioned, fear evident in your shaky voice.

“He thinks that if I confront her and try to end the fake dating agreement, she’ll threaten to reveal our relationship to the public,” he admitted, looking and sounding deeply concerned.

“Which is why he called in one of the Big Hit lawyers so we could talk through our options and make a plan,” he then quickly explained. “They want me to meet with her and secretly record it so we can go to the police with hard evidence if she tries to threaten or blackmail me.”

Up until now, you hadn’t really even thought about what you and Tae were going to do with regard to Jisoo. You were so focused on the future of your own relationship that it hadn’t occurred to you that he needed to end the fake one he was in with her. As much as you wanted to believe that Bang PD and the lawyer were overreacting, that they were taking such measures out of an abundance of caution, you knew in your heart that their concerns were completely justified.

She had already done unspeakably terrible things and proven she was a cruel, sadist person who only cared about herself and couldn’t be trusted. The idea that she was going to let things between her and Tae end in a quiet, amicable manner was simply absurd. A wave of anxiety crashed over you upon realizing how much more pain she could cause you two with all the information she had about your relationship. She knew so much, enough to ruin Tae’s image and possibly even his entire career, enough to jeopardize not only your privacy and safety, but that of the other members and their partners

“Jagi, it’s going to be OK,” he assured you, noting your fearful expression. “We have help now. We don’t have to do this alone. For all we know she might not even try anything, but if she does Big Hit will protect us.”

“Before I meet with her, though, I need to know everything. What she said and when she said it. How she threatened you. How she was able to do this to us,” he then added, his tone somber.

“Can you tell me what happened, sweetheart?” he asked gently as he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “I promise I’m not going to be mad and that we’re still going to be OK after you do.”

With a heavy heart, you nodded and then started recounting everything that had led you to this fateful moment. You admitted that the night she suggested they ‘up their game’ was when you began questioning her motives. You also confessed that was when you first wondered if he secretly enjoyed spending time with her. You explained how she then started taunting you the following Friday afternoon and how you initially just clapped back saying you didn’t care about them ‘playing pretend’. You told him about her insinuation that they had done something inappropriate in her recording studio and how you noted his cagey behavior when you asked him about it later that night.

One of the hardest things to tell him about was your elaborate plan to rub your relationship in her face. You confessed to purposefully getting him all worked up with the lingerie, sexting, and bondage last Sunday and by wearing his clothes, promising to do the photoshoot, and teasing him during the fitting the next day. You admitted that you’d made it obvious to her that you’d not only had sex the night before, but that the two of you were going home during lunch to have sex again. You told him about her chilling response of ‘He’s lying to you’ and how you saw the message from ‘J’ shortly after, but how seeing Jimin’s text convinced you everything was OK.

You told him about all the revelations you’d had this past week and how you planned to tell him everything last night, but that him coming home and acting so strange instantly set you back on edge. You explained how everything had continued to unravel throughout the day as you realized he was lying to you and avoiding you. And, finally, you recounted the awful encounter with her in the elevator which had proven to be your breaking point.

“I know I asked you to tell me, and I’m glad that you did, but it was still really hard to hear all that, '' he said quietly after you finished, the hurt deeply etched onto his face.

You could tell from the way he was nervously biting his lower lip that there was more he wanted to say, but that he was struggling to say it. After trying and failing several times to get the words out, he ultimately just closed his eyes and leaned his forehead against yours.

“You can tell me, Tae,” you gently encouraged him, despite how scared you were to hear the words that were causing him such angst. “Whatever it is, I-I want you to tell me.”

It took him another full minute to gather the courage to speak and when he did his voice was filled with such sadness that your eyes instantly filled with tears.

“I waited for you, Jagi,” he finally said. “I waited for you and then I gave myself to you because I love you with all my heart and want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“Knowing that you allowed yourself to believe I was cheating on you makes me feel like you don’t respect that commitment that I made to you,” he then confessed.

“You know how meaningful intimacy is to me,” he went on after a few moments of heartbreaking silence. “It’s a way for me to be close to you and take care of you and show you how much I love you. Whether we’re just kissing or we're making love, it’s always special to me. It’s always something I cherish and never take for granted.”

“I know how awful Jisoo made you feel, and I know how guilty she made me look, but it still just hurts so much that you thought I could ever share that experience with someone else,” he admitted before his voice gave out and the quietest of cries left his lips.

His words cut you to the bone and rendered you absolutely speechless. You knew you had hurt him with your accusation, but the true depth of his sorrow was almost too unbearable to behold. As tears began silently streaming down your face, cold tendrils of self loathing slowly wrapped themselves around your mind. You did this. You caused this pain to the person you loved most in the whole world.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you,” you went on sadly, knowing your words would never be enough to convey all that you felt. “I’m sorry I believed her and didn’t trust you. I’m sorry I manipulated you to get back at her. I’m sorry I accused you of cheating. I’m sorry I messed up your proposal surprise. I’m sorry I got you in trouble with Big Hit.”

“I’m sorry I ruined everything,” you finally sobbed.

“Sweetheart, you didn’t ruin anything,” he said as he brought his hand up to cup your cheek. “I’m upset about what happened because we both got hurt, but I’m not angry at you and I certainly don’t blame you.”

“This was my fault,” he went on, sounding so unbelievably guilty. “I didn’t take care of you. I didn’t keep you safe.”

“I-I let this happen. I let her hurt you, hurt us,” he added as his voice broke.

“I never should have trusted her and put you through this in the first place,” he said regretfully, his own tears falling freely now. “She hurt us over the summer, almost ruined our relationship before it even started, and I still let her back into our lives. You told me that first night that you were afraid to trust her and tried to tell me again two weeks ago, but I didn’t listen.”

“I promised I wouldn’t let her hurt you, but I broke that promise,” he confessed quietly as he rubbed away your tears with his thumb.

“I’m sorry, Jagi,” he then whispered. “I’m so sorry.”

“Baby, you don’t need to apologize,” you replied guiltily, bringing your own hand up to cradle his face. “I’m the problem. You said I was strong, but I’m not. I’m broken.”

“Please don’t say that, sweetheart,” he pleaded as he took your hand in his and kissed your fingertips. “You’re not broken.”

“You were scared and overwhelmed because I put you in an awful situation,” he admitted, his voice thick with shame. “It was thoughtless of me to be keeping secrets and sneaking around while we were in the middle of this mess with Jisoo. Even if she wasn’t manipulating everything I said and did, I should have realized how hurtful it would be for me to act that way and how it might have looked.”

“But, I should have just talked to you,” you replied with a frustrated whimper, more tears now spilling out. “I should have been honest about how I was feeling all along and I should have told you when she began taunting me and I started having doubts.”

As you said those words, you collapsed back into his embrace, your head coming down to rest on his chest just over his heart. For several minutes he didn’t respond, he just held you close while he gently ran his fingers through your hair, periodically pressing little kisses to your forehead.

“Why didn’t you?” he finally asked with such sorrow in his voice that it made your heart ache. “Why didn't you tell me I was hurting you so much?”

It was the million dollar question. One you knew he would ask. One you had asked yourself countless times already over the last few hours. The most obvious answer was rather simple: you were insecure and terrible at communicating your feelings. However, as you thought back to what transpired on the roof, recalled the way Manager Sejin, and even Bang PD to some extent, had reacted to the situation, something finally dawned on you. Although you absolutely were insecure and terrible at communicating, you realized that there was another, far more complicated and rather heartbreaking reason for why you had been holding back all this time.

“Jagi, I can’t read your mind,” he then said sadly, like it was a personal failure that he did not possess this ability. “If we’re going to get married and you’re going to be my wife, you need to be able to tell me things, even things you think will be hard for me to hear.”

You knew he was right and decided it was time to tell him the full truth, even though you knew it was going to absolutely crush him. After spending several minutes in silence, nervously tracing patterns on his chest with your finger, you took a deep breath and then finally spoke.

“I don’t feel equal to you,” you confessed quietly.

“You’re Kim Taehyung, world-famous K-pop idol who is adored and respected by millions and who has all this wealth and influence and power, but I’m just... me,” you went on. “I’m just a lowly stylist that no one knows or cares about who is still paying off college loans and will never be anyone special or do anything significant.”

“You’re so successful and incredible and so many people would kill to be in my shoes that sometimes I feel like I should just be happy and grateful to be with you at all, even if it’s in a way that hurts me,” you admitted.

“And, being forced to hide and lie and keep everything a secret hurt me,” you then added, clutching his shirt tightly as fresh tears pricked at your eyes.

You took a few moments to collect yourself, taking several deep, steadying breaths. He gave you all the time you needed, affectionately rubbing your arm while he patiently waited for you to continue.

“When we came home from America I told you I wanted to tell the truth and leave Big Hit, but you convinced me to stay and keep lying. Then you made the decision to fake date Jisoo without talking to me first and just expected me to be OK with it,” you said next, your voice now beginning to tremble.

“I-I wasn’t OK with it, but I didn't know what to do. I felt trapped, Tae,” you said, pausing briefly to let that sink in and also gather yourself again. “You clearly thought it was a good idea and what was best for us so I just put on a brave face and tried to be strong for you. I didn’t want you to get in trouble. I didn’t want to make you feel guilty. I just wanted you to be safe and happy. Even once Jisoo started saying stuff and I realized you were lying to me, I was still just so afraid to confront you because I didn't want to hurt you or make you upset.”

The words were pouring out of you now and there was absolutely nothing you could do to stop them, but you didn’t want to stop them. After days and weeks and months of bottling everything up, you were suddenly desperate to let it all out.

“I didn’t tell you my feelings because they felt less important than yours,” you finally said, choking back a sob. “Because I felt less important than you.”

You hadn’t fully understood that this was how you felt until now, but the moment those words left your lips everything came into sharp focus.

“You’re the sun, Tae,” you told him, voice barely above a whisper. “You’re the sun and I am just this tiny, flickering candle.”

“Compared to you I just feel so inferior,” you then revealed as the tears began pouring out again. “Not even in terms of status or talent or wealth, but as a person. Part of it is definitely my own insecurity, but a lot of it is because that’s honestly how society views us. You are literally worth more than me - to Big Hit, to this country, to the world - and that fact has never been more painfully clear to me than tonight when Manager Sejin's first reaction to what happened was to be more concerned about your reputation than my wellbeing.”

“Up on the roof everyone was talking about me and making decisions that directly affected me, but I wasn’t even part of the conversation,” you continued dejectedly, remembering how powerless you felt at the time. “I was legitimately afraid to speak because I didn’t want to make someone upset or get you in trouble. The one time I tried to talk, I was literally told to ‘stay out of it’. I felt like my opinion and my feelings didn’t matter, so I stopped trying to share them and just stayed quiet.”  

“I know I can’t expect you to read my mind, but if we’re going to get married and you’re going to be my husband, you need to understand that because of your job and who you are I often feel like I have no voice,” you finally confessed.

Upon letting all of that out, you felt a massive weight lift off your chest, but the relief you felt was short lived when you saw the look of absolute devastation on Tae’s face. You had done exactly as he asked, told him something you knew would be hard for him to hear, and the result was just as excruciatingly painful as you feared it would be.

“Jagi, it breaks my heart that you feel this way because of me,” he said despondently, his eyes brimming with tears.

“Of course you're important and special. Of course your opinions and feelings matter,” he went on as a few drops began sliding down his cheeks.

“Y-You’re not a candle, sweetheart. You’re not even just the sun. You’re the entire universe,” he cried before he buried his face in your hair.

Every single one of his muffled sobs was like a knife in your heart and every time he said ‘I’m sorry’ the blade twisted. It killed you to know your confession had made him feel so terrible, but you kept reminding yourself that it was for the best. Keeping all that in for so long had only ended up causing more hurt to you both in the long run. The only way for things to get better was to have everything out in the open and move forward with no more secrets.

“Baby, look at me,” you said as you cupped his cheeks and lifted his head up so his gaze met yours. “You’re not the reason I feel like this. I know you don’t view me as less than you and you’ve certainly never treated me that way. Our relationship is just unique and complicated and a bit stressful sometimes. It has been challenging in ways that I wasn’t prepared for and didn’t fully understand until now, but I don’t want you to blame yourself.”

“I just need you to remember that it can be a little overwhelming and intimidating at times being with someone as famous as you,” you then said gently. “I’m going to go back to therapy so I can learn how to better deal with those feelings and also communicate them to you. I just want you to be aware that this is something I struggle with so you can help me work through it, OK?”

“OK,” he hiccupped, nodding his head in your hands. “I can do that.”

“I’ll do whatever it takes,” he said then softly, gazing into your eyes with a look of pure devotion. “I meant it this morning when I wrote that I want to be a better man for you. I promise I will be. I’m going to take care of you, Jagi. Now and always. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you or make you feel less than ever again. I’m going to make sure you always feel safe and respected and equal in our relationship.”

“Which is why I’m going to leave BTS,” he then stated without an ounce of hesitation in his voice.

For the second time that evening, time came to a screeching halt.

“What?” you breathed out, utterly shocked by that statement and convinced you had somehow heard him wrong.

“I’m going to leave BTS,” he repeated calmly, looking you in the eye as he spoke.

You stared back at him in stunned silence for several seconds, your eyes wide in disbelief upon realizing he had, in fact, said those words.

“Tae, no,” you protested. “Y-You can’t leave because of me, because I’m insecure and broken. I just need to get better. I need to be a better partner for you. And, I-I will be. I’m going to get help and work on myself so I can handle everything. You’re not the problem. BTS isn’t the problem. I’m the problem, but I promise I’m going to be better.”

“Sweetheart, you’re not broken and you’re not the problem,” he said, his tone unmistakably sad. “Please don’t say those things about yourself. It hurts me when you do.”

“I’m not leaving because of you, I’m leaving for you, for us,” he then added.

Your mind was absolutely spinning as you tried to comprehend what he was saying. Never in a million years did you think you would be having this conversation with him right now. This was not at all the outcome you were expecting or hoping for when you shared your feelings with him and you found yourself now regretting having said anything at all. You had clearly overwhelmed him by unloading all of that while he was already feeling stressed and guilty which was causing him to have these highly irrational thoughts.

“But, you’re…you’re still under contract for five more years,” you said back as the realization dawned on you. “You can’t just leave.”

“Actually, I can,” he replied, sounding almost nonchalant despite the gravity of his words. “I would have to pay a really big fine and give up my Big Hit stock, but I could afford it and it would be worth it.”

His calmness only made you all the more anxious. He was talking complete nonsense right now and didn’t even realize it.

“Tae, you’re upset right now and not thinking straight,” you said, trying desperately to reason with him. “It’s been an incredibly stressful night and you’ve been through so much. I know you feel guilty about what I said and are worried about what’s going to happen once I leave Big Hit, but you leaving too isn’t the answer.”

“Jagi, I’ve been thinking about this for a while now, long before all of this happened,” he revealed, his voice soft but resolute.

“You know I almost didn’t re-sign in 2018 and that I was struggling again earlier this year,” he then reminded you gently. “Everything that’s happened over the last few months, and everything you just told me now, has only reinforced the way I was already feeling.”

Upon hearing him say those words, you stopped panicking and looked at him, really looked at him, and couldn’t help but notice just how composed and confident he seemed right now.

“How have you been feeling?” you asked quietly.

“Like I don’t know if I can do this anymore,” he replied, suddenly sounding so very tired.

“I never wanted all this,” he then admitted. “I was literally going to be a farmer, which I was perfectly OK with, but then I auditioned at Big Hit essentially by accident and somehow got chosen and now here I am almost ten years later with this crazy life as a world-famous K-pop idol.”

“I don’t regret it,” he quickly added. “I love the guys and ARMY and I genuinely enjoy making music and performing. I’m grateful for our success and all the incredible opportunities I’ve been given and the fact that I can now take care of my family. And, most importantly, I’m grateful that I met you.”

The shy smile that crept onto his face as he said that last bit had your heart absolutely melting. As alarming as this conversation was, you couldn’t help but give him a bashful grin in return.

“I know things have been difficult for us at times, but the last two months have still been the happiest of my entire life. Being with you makes me feel so fulfilled and so excited and hopeful for the future. I can’t wait to marry you, my best friend and the love of my life, and raise a family together,” he confessed with such passion in his voice. “That’s what I’ve always wanted.”

“But, that’s why I need to leave,” he then said softly as his expression grew sad.

“I love BTS, but I love you more,” he admitted, gazing deeply into your eyes. “I don’t want to spend the next five years being on different schedules and hardly seeing each other, only for me to then go into the military and be away from you for another year and a half. How are we supposed to have a strong marriage and a happy family if that’s our life? How am I supposed to be a good husband and father if I’m never there?”

“I know we’ll never have a completely normal life because I’ll probably always be a public figure, but if I left BTS things would be so much easier for us,” he went on, sounding so serious and certain. “I could start acting. I’ve already gotten so many offers to be on shows and in movies. I could start working at a studio right here in Seoul. That way I wouldn’t have to travel all the time and be away from you. We could start our family right away and raise our children together as equal parents instead of you bearing so much more of the burden. I’d be there to support you and make sure you could continue pursuing your own career goals. We’d have more time to visit our parents and go on trips and do things together as a family.”

“It would be so much easier,” he repeated earnestly. “We could be so much happier.”

As terrified as you were hearing him talk like this and knowing the chaos that would ensue if he actually were to leave BTS, you could not deny how tempting all of that sounded. A life where you could actually be together the majority of the time would be so wonderful. One where there was stability and consistency, where he wouldn’t have to regularly leave for days and weeks and months on end. You believed with all your heart that Tae would be a great husband and father even if he stayed with BTS, but you knew he was right when he said things would be easier if he left.

And yet, you knew you needed to be the rational one right now. Although you believed him when he said he had been thinking about this for a while and that this wasn’t just a knee-jerk reaction, you knew that what had happened tonight and what you’d been through over the last few months was coloring his perspective. Keeping your relationship a secret had been a complicated and stressful situation, but it wasn’t indicative of what life was going to be like for you two going forward. Being apart so much would make things harder, especially once you started having kids, but not having to hide anymore would also make things easier. You were certain you two could make it work and that everything would be OK. You just needed to help Tae calm down long enough to realize this too.

“Tae, it means more to me than I can put into words that you would be willing to make a sacrifice like that for us,” you said as you leaned in and gave him a short, sweet kiss. “I can tell you have given this a lot of thought, and I admit you do make a lot of great points, but I don’t think now is the right time to make this kind of decision.”

“First things first, we need to get through everything with Jisoo. Then at some point I obviously need to meet with Bang PD and Big Hit HR. Hopefully they’ll just let me resign and not actually fire me. I think Mrs. Choi might still be willing to be a reference for me so that will help immensely in my search for a new job,” you continued.

“Can we please just wait before we make any big decisions?” you asked gently, giving him an encouraging smile. “I don’t want you to do something now that you’ll later regret. There’s no reason to rush. Let’s take our time and adjust to our new situation and see how things go.”

For several moments he didn’t respond, he just stared at you with an intent, slightly skeptical look as if searching for any hint of reluctance on your face. You just gazed back at him pleadingly, silently begging him to trust that this was truly how you felt, until eventually his features softened.

“Ok,” he finally conceded with a sigh. “We can wait and see.”

“But, if it’s not working, if we’re not happy and we feel like we’re drifting apart or you don’t feel supported and I feel like I’m missing out on things, I won’t hesitate to leave,” he then added sincerely. “You are the most precious thing in the world to me, sweetheart. I can always find another job, but I can never find another you.”

Grateful that he seemed to have backed away from the metaphorical edge, you were just about to breathe a small sigh of relief when the door to your room suddenly opened. You tensed up immediately because Tae didn’t have his mask or glasses on, but relaxed once you realized it was only Mrs. Choi.

“Sorry to disturb you, but Manager Sejin says there is a call for you, Taehyung,” she said softly as she tentatively poked her head into the room. “I believe it is Bang PD.”

“Shoot, I need to take this,” Tae said to you regretfully as he disentangled himself and stood up from the bed.

“I’ll be back soon, Jagi,” he then said before leaning down and kissing your forehead.

“Ok,” you said back with a shy smile.

He disguised himself once more and then walked out of the room, giving Mrs. Choi a quick nod as he passed by her. After he was gone, she lingered by the door for a few moments, seemingly wrestling with herself over something. She opened and closed her mouth several times before she finally spoke.

“You two make a lovely couple,” she said tenderly.

“Thank you,” you replied back, your voice catching a bit as you got ever-so-slightly choked up.

“For everything,” you then added after a moment.

“You’re welcome, dear,” she said back, giving you a genuine smile before excusing herself.

Once the door was closed, you laid back down, plopped your head onto the pillow, and gazed up at the ceiling in bewilderment. Of all the surprises tonight had brought, including your secret being revealed and Tae confessing he was both planning to propose and seriously considering leaving BTS, Mrs. Choi being supportive of your relationship might just be the most earth shattering. It was strange, but her approval actually meant a great deal to you. Over the last three years, she had probably spent more time together with you and Tae than anyone else. Her belief that you made a good couple was quite comforting and gave you so much confidence that everything would be OK.

And right now, after everything that you’d both been through and were still facing, you needed all the assurance you could get that you and Tae were going to be OK.

Five minutes later the door to your room opened again. You assumed it was Tae, back from his call with bang PD, but it was actually your doctor. As she walked in she was sporting another warm smile, but something about her was noticeably off.

“Y/N, how are you feeling?” she asked.

“I feel fine,” you answered honestly. “Not dizzy or nauseous or anything like that.”

“Good, good,” she replied easily as she made a few notes in your chart.

“So, your ECG results came back normal, but we’re going to keep you here a little longer for observation since you are a high-risk patient,” she then informed you.

“High-risk?” you questioned nervously, giving her a confused look. “What classifies me as high-risk?”

An apprehensive, slightly sheepish look flashed across her face before she uttered the absolute last words you were expecting to hear.

“That fact that you’re pregnant.”

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TGTBT Update

Next chapter is dropping soon! Hopefully in the next day or two. Just wanted to give you all heads up so you can book appointments at the dentist 🙃💜