Lee Heeseung Angst - Tumblr Posts

FIGHTER — l.heeseung

PAIRING: heeseung x fem!reader  GENRES: very little angst, a bit of fluff at the end  WC: 9.2k+

WARNINGS: mention of fighting, cuts, mention of being drunk, some swearing. let me know if i forgot anything else, please!

SYNOPSIS: you've never seen a fight up close before, let alone an illegal fight. it was a different scenario that caught your attention, really fascinating. now one thing stuck in your mind beyond the whole fight scene: but why did the cute fighter treat you so badly when the two of you had never seen each other before? did he have a good explanation for this?

NOTES: listening bouncy by ateez made me have this idea. i changed the writing a few times and even wanted to continue after the end, but i thought i'd leave it that way to have, who knows, a part two? idk, you can tell me if you wish that. hope you like it!

masterlist

You could call yourself an adventurous person. Perhaps a complete explorer of the little and big things in life. Parachuting in, changing course from medical school – done for five long semesters – and running off to study social communication and be a respected copywriter in your field.

But even with a good profession, you never stopped exploring, being encouraged, and even accompanied by your couple of best friends, Sunghoon and Kasey.

You met the girl at the university of communication. Sharing a dormitory with a stranger back then would not make you imagine that today she would be your best friend and also your best friend's girlfriend. Introducing her to Sunghoon at one of your first frat parties was easy. Kasey was super communicative, while Sunghoon was shy. The contrast made the two hit it off right away and, after years, they were still together even though university was over.

Those nostalgic thoughts left you with a smile adorning your lips as you stepped out of the shower, looking at your reflection in the mirror and grimacing when you saw yourself with wet hair.

Friday night, end of work and you left early. Almost as if she knew what was coming, Kasey texted you as soon as you entered the house and threw your bag next to the couch.

We are going out today. Light clothes and a super different place, I think you'll like it.

You always enjoyed her crazy antics, that's why you two hit it off from the first minute inside that university room. She was just as adventurous as you and this could only be a work of fate, bringing two people together as best friends to explore every crazy and interesting thing in this world.

That's why, without delay, you ripped off your clothes on the way to your bathroom and took a long shower. Washing your hair and taking a little longer with the liquid body soap just to feel a little more relaxed after work. Your night out with your friends was always a lively one, and since your chores had been heavy that Friday, only the hot water would be able to wash away – almost – everything bad before you put on a proper outfit and dried your hair.

As you rambled about your outfit after your hair was properly dried – your arms sore from trying so hard to give your strands a good attention – a sigh left your lips, before a thin scream echoed through your room. The sound of the phone startled you and quickly made you turn towards the bed.

The quick steps to grab the handset and answer it on the next ring.

"Hi, I'm listening" you smiled even though your best friend couldn't see.

"Did you dry your hair?" how Kasey could know you so well, you had no idea. Chuckling, you mumbled in agreement before she continued "Okay, fifteen minutes for an outfit. Sunghoon and I will pick you up."

She didn't even let you answer her, hanging up just as quickly as she called. Surprised at how little time you had, you ran to your closet to get something to wear. Smiling at your clothes thinking that at least you would have a ride home. Without spending on a car app and without worrying about some stranger bringing you home.

Taking one last look in the mirror after choosing your outfit, smiling satisfied at what you saw there, you left the room. Even more smiling after seeing that Kasey and Sunghoon were really punctual that day, texting you in fifteen minutes saying they were already waiting for you at the entrance of your building.

Locking your apartment and taking the elevator leisurely, you reached the first floor and waved to the old gentleman doorman who was always so smiley every day.

"Good evening, Miss y/n" he greeted you. You greeted him back, wishing the man a good night before heading out and locating your couple of friends' car.

Getting into the backseat, your hands touched Sunghoon and Kasey's shoulders respectively.

"So..." the guy who was driving gave you a sideways glance, smiling at you "Ready for tonight?"

"I don't know where you guys are taking me, but I think I'm ready" your answer made them both laugh, along with Kasey making sure you loved the place.

You couldn't deny a huge chill in your stomach, even though you knew neither of them would let you down with the surprise. Kasey was a great thinking mind, while Sunghoon executed the whole plan of the crazy outings you all had. That's how it worked. But this time, you being a mere guinea pig for the Friday night surprise made you even more excited. Because what were they up to, anyway? That they hadn't told you anything at all since you got a text a few hours ago?

Please let it be nice, you thought, clutching even tighter to the leather of your jacket and settling comfortably in the back seat of the car as Sunghoon began to drive away, guided by the lights of the night city.

The reddish lights of the poorly placed sign flashed right in front of you. You, clinging to Kasey's arm, stared at the place with a long sigh coming out of your lips. Sure, you'd watched boxing matches on television and even bought tickets to one on some vacation trip to the States. But it never, ever crossed your mind to be in a giant shed, people back and forth as the words slowly came out of Kasey's mouth.

"Can we call it an underground fight?" from the look Sunghoon gave her, that was the name of what was going on.

Maybe because of the lack of regulations and because none of the fighters were, in fact, professionals, they were just there for the money and the numerous bets that were going on. You recognized this by the stand that was set up right next to the small staircase where there was a makeshift grandstand. Men of all shapes and sizes bet on so many names that you could not identify anything that came out of their mouths. A few women who were there, with fewer clothes than you were wearing, waved and greeted you and Kasey even though they didn't know each other. Maybe a brief recognition that you were the only one there among so many men, besides the others in their bikini tops who were standing in the middle of the fighting ring just waiting for it all to start.

Sunghoon approached with a smile on his lips, both hands carrying glasses that surely contained some drink for you to savor while you were there.

"So, did you like it?" he asked after handing you a glass. It was so full that you decided to share it with Kasey, it was still too early to drink so much.

"It's different" you said, smiling as you drank some of the beer and handed it to your friend "Is that really not dangerous?"

"Look, y/n is scared?" Kasey joked before sipping on the same glass as you "But… I don't think so, do you, love?" she looked at Sunghoon.

For a few seconds, he decided to stay quiet, just looking around trying to find words that could comfort you or make you less tense. Because he knew that's exactly what was happening, just like it happened to Kasey when he told her.

"They're used to it, y/n. But inside there's everything they need in case they get hurt" Sunghoon pointed to the left corner, it looked like a dressing room of sorts and his smile widened when a tall man appeared in the doorway and waved at him, beckoning him in "Come, I want you to meet my friend."

"He's hot" Kasey whispered to you.

"I heard that!" Sunghoon shouted loud enough, making you both laugh as he intertwined his fingers with Kasey's, and she raised her other arm for you to hold fearing she'd lose you in the crowd.

Passing by the one you were referred to, it seemed to be a bit quieter there. The flow of people was much smaller compared to outside. The voices were loud and fast, but there was no danger of bumping into anyone and so you managed to get a little free from Kasey's arm to give her and Sunghoon more privacy as they walked a little further ahead.

Through the dark corridor you were now passing, your best friend stopped in front of the black door and gave a quick knock before entering, without waiting for a confirmation.

"I can't believe you came" the amused voice greeted him, and Sunghoon was soon laughing as he let go of Kasey's hand to enter first and hug the man.

Your friend looked at you and winked in your direction, maybe that boy was the handsome one she had told you about, but his face was still a mystery because the hug lasted so long. It looked like he and Sunghoon hadn't seen each other in years.

"Did you think I would lose your fight today?" shit, Sunghoon's friend is a fighter, you almost yelled at that. Sighing, soon Kasey's voice greeted him and she hugged him too. The man's laugh was as infectious as your best friend's who was laughing at some comment he had made before releasing Kasey from the hug.

And last but not least, you. Your gaze finally caught the really handsome guy in front of you. Was he hot? For God's sake, Kasey lied, he looked like a Greek God. Well-drawn lips, a pointed nose, and an extremely lined, pearly, beautiful smile. Those teeth could reflect all the light in the room if it wasn't for the lamp that illuminated all of you.

"Heeseung, this is y/n, my best friend" Sunghoon introduced you. You smiled at him the same way he smiled at you, nodding and walking the steps that separated the two of you to hold his hand "Y/n, this is Heeseung. My best friend and coworker."

Your brow furrowed briefly and it didn't go unnoticed by either of them, making Heeseung chuckle some more before letting go of your hand.

"This fighting thing is secondary" he explained afterward "Sunghoon is not part of it."

"Not directly" he held his friend by the shoulders before he pulled him away from you to sit him back down in his chair.

Surely Sunghoon would have to explain to you a bit more about that because it was quite confusing, and looking at Kasey, you realized that that information had also been told to her not too long ago. Judging by the way she was sitting on the small couch staring at the two men who were talking non-stop.

"So" Heeseung's voice cut off the moment you were about to start a conversation with Kasey, making you both look at him "Where's your boyfriend, y/n?"

Boyfriend? You frowned again, so confused by the sudden question coming from him. Your eyes searched for Sunghoon who let out a small sigh, nibbling his lip as if he already knew what was coming.

"I… I don't have a boyfriend" you smiled and this time your action didn't mirror Heeseung. There was a frown on his face and the countenance that was once so cheerful was now so closed and nervous.

You almost felt guilty for telling the truth, why was it so bad not having a boyfriend? Was it a sin for you to be single? Your mouth opened to say something, but he looked away from you before he even let you continue.

"What was our deal, bro?" Heeseung stared at Sunghoon, still frowning and even more serious, if that was possible.

"Relax, it's just a night of fun" he explained.

"No, it's not" Heeseung got up from his chair and walked towards you, stopping a considerable distance away from you from Kasey "You need to go home, y/n."

"What? Why?" as a reflex to his actions, you got up from the couch and stood in front of him, the same distance he was keeping from you.

"Hey Heeseung, it's okay. She'll be with me and Hoon…" Kasey smiled without showing her teeth, seeing that even that hadn't disarmed the boy.

Heeseung gave up trying to say anything and walked over to Sunghoon without saying a word. He looked at the door just as there was a knock and his name was called, indicating that the fight was about to begin.

"Don't do that anymore, that wasn't our deal" he touched Sunghoon's shoulder before grabbing the bandages and gloves he always wore. Taking one last look at you, Heeseung left the room and slammed the door as hard as he could.

"What the fuck was that?" Kasey sighed and you let out all the breath you didn't know you were holding until the moment.

Your eyes stung a little, but what was the reason you would cry anyway? Trying to take a deep breath and contain it, you looked at Sunghoon for some bigger explanation.

"Do you have anything to tell us?" his girlfriend insisted, knowing that you wouldn't say anything else for a good while while you were still recovering.

Sunghoon was quiet for a good few minutes, just the sound of people passing back and forth outside the room. Someone had come in to get something Heeseung had forgotten, and as soon as he left, something dawned on the boy who had stayed there with you two.

"Just… Give Heeseung a break, okay?" he tried to explain, giving a smile so loose that neither you nor Kasey seemed to believe it.

That wouldn't be much more than an answer, so you decided to accept it and get it over with. Hoping so hard to be able to go home because that place was already getting exhausting for you.

Unfortunately, or not, Heeseung was a very good fighter. If you told him that he would take it up as a real profession, it would not go unnoticed. Or if you hadn't heard it come out of his mouth that it was secondary, like a hobby, you would never believe it.

He had precise blows, a cheeky grin on his face every time he hit his opponent. When someone hit him, the most he would get from Heeseung was a bit of spitting on the ground and jeering, before he would practically finish off his opponent in minutes.

"Round three" the man shouted from the middle of the ring. Even though he didn't need to, Heeseung seemed to accept while the other fighter had also agreed.

Taking a seat on the bench in the corner of the ring, he listened intently to the instructions of an older, fat, sweaty man. The towel he carried on his shoulders was so dirty that you could hardly believe it when Heeseung accepted it to wipe his forehead. He needs to take a shower urgently, your mind screamed as soon as the boy returned the towel.

When they gave the signal for the fight to resume, a girl – typical of wrestling – walked by in extremely short clothes into the ring. Whistles and cheers were heard throughout the venue. You held back your laughter when you saw Kasey almost shoot Sunghoon with her eyes, him staring at her for the entire moment until the woman disappeared from his field of vision and left the venue to the fighters alone.

"Come on, Hee! You already won!" Sunghoon shouted to his friend, encouraging him as he always did.

When he stood up from his seat, Heeseung looked at Sunghoon and smiled broadly, or as much as his mouthguard let him do. But as soon as his eyes traveled down Sunghoon's side, stopping directly at you, his smile fell. It was as if there was something about Heeseung that he just couldn't look at you with a smile.

The boy decided to ignore that and turn his attention back to the fight, adjusting his gloves and focusing any and all attention on the man in front of him.

It wasn't that hard to know that, with a few more blows, Heeseung had been named the winner. Bettors celebrated the boy's victory, while others who had bet on the loser, lamented the money they would have to pay.

All for the sake of entertainment. All for the sake of the underground fight that Heeseung loved, because he knew that at the end of the night, the money he would win would be more than enough not to step foot in there for a few weeks.

"Let's go find him" Sunghoon whispered to Kasey, seeing that she stared in your direction with his words even if you weren't hearing very well because of the distance between the two "I promise Heeseung won't say anything to y/n now."

"If he does, he and y/n can discuss" Kasey whispered back, but she let her boyfriend lead the way as the three of you made your way back to the less crowded part of the shed.

Where you, strangely, felt it was best. Even if it meant being in the same room as Heeseung for a few minutes.

Like the first time you were there, Sunghoon entered first and as soon as you entered, the room was not silent. Three more people besides you, your friends, and Heeseung were there. All men excitedly handed several wadded-up notes of money to the newly crowned champion of the fight. Heeseung was sweaty and panting, but he had such a bright smile on his face that you held back the urge to make a vomiting noise when you remembered that he had smiled like that before he was a complete asshole to you.

"Tonight was awesome, man" the gray-haired boy ruffled Heeseung's hair, taking a few steps away and stuffing the money bills into a plastic bag "When are you coming back to fight?"

Heeseung sighed loudly, taking the bag and putting it inside a bag that was probably his.

"Maybe in two weeks, or three" he closed the bag "With this amount I can go almost a month without showing up here."

"Really, tonight was the highest of the month" another man celebrated "You deserve it, man. I think it's good to get some rest too, you've worked hard."

"Thank you" Heeseung thanked and greeted the men before they left.

When he heard Sunghoon's voice congratulating him, he was still smiling, even looking through the reflection of the small mirror in front of him and looking straight at you. Replying to Sunghoon that he could have a few weekends like a normal person, without fighting or having cuts all over his face, Heeseung's gaze had never left you at any point.

And the strangest thing was that you couldn't stop looking at him either. It was as if you tried to look away, but half a second later and your eyes would go back to his reflection.

"And you're still here?" he finally turned around, finishing what he was doing and looking at you properly now.

You noticed the movement of Sunghoon and Kasey as if they had foreseen what was coming.

"Should I have left?" your tone of voice was the same as his, only a little lower for the distance you were standing. Heeseung snorted.

"Should have" how audacious, you wanted to mentally curse him for that "This place isn't for you."

"Of course. You should know a good place for me since you don't even know me."

"I know enough to know it was a mistake for Sunghoon to bring you here."

That hurt. In such a ridiculous way because Heeseung was a stranger to you, so why had his words hit you hard? Why, again, had your eyes started to sting and you were seeing everything in a blur?

"You're shit, Heeseung," your words came out so desperately that he didn't even care to hear them. It was as if the boy was used to being called that, but his Adam's apple shook hard at the way he swallowed dry. Why had he swallowed dry with you calling him that?

"Y/n…" Sunghoon called out to you, but not in time to get you trapped inside the room, because you had already left.

You could have also heard wrong, but Heeseung also called your name. Or was it your crazy head because your steps were so fast that you didn't want to go back?

Your gaze blurs more and more as you passed people, hearing shouts of another fight breaking out. You just wanted to leave.

Without difficulty finding the exit, you were already outside that shed breathing the cold air of the streets that embraced your body. And for some time afterwards, you let the tears fall on your cheeks.

"Y/n… Hey, sweet" you sniffled loudly at Kasey's voice right behind you, wiping your face ever so quickly. But to no avail, it was impossible to hide anything from your best friend.

She turned you around and hugged you slowly, stroking your hair and kissing your cheek.

"Let's go home, please?" you asked in a whisper, holding yourself back from crying again.

"Come on" she said "By the way, can I sleep in your apartment?"

"Why?"

She lifted her head to look at you, eyes reddened just like yours. Shit… Had she cried too?

"Sunghoon and I had a fight because…"

"Because of me?" a pout formed on your lips, you wanted to cry again because that had never happened before. And it was something you dreaded, having your best friends fight over you.

"Also, but—" she sighed, squeezing your cheeks and placing a kiss on your forehead before pulling away from you to hug you from the side "He and Heeseung have some deal that Sunghoon didn't tell me about. And if they treat my best friend like that, I'll fight."

You looked at her beside you, laying your head on her shoulder as she laid her head on yours. Both of you in that position for so long that you had lost count of how many people had passed by or how many people had left disappointed at losing a fight.

"Let's go home. There's a lot of goodies we need to eat in my closet" you broke the silence, hearing her giggle right after.

You sighed wistfully as Kasey walked through your apartment door holding another bouquet in her hand.

"From Sunghoon again?" you held back a laugh as she agreed, kicking off her shoes to head to the kitchen.

Unhurriedly, your steps followed your best friend as you watched her search for a pot big enough to fit the new plants she received.

"With another regret card, this time I almost gave in" she pouted as she placed the flowers into the water, setting the makeshift pot on the kitchen counter.

Almost two weeks she decided to stay with you in your apartment until she forgave her boyfriend for feeling bad about the last fight. You asked her to stay as long as she needed, perhaps feeling less guilty for still thinking it was all because of you.

"Why don't you talk to him? I think Sunghoon already got what he deserved."

"I'm still upset about the last time we talked, he wouldn't tell me and even allowed Heeseung to talk to you like that" she pulled you into the living room without much difficulty, you wanted to go back there anyway and continue your cooking program before taking a long shower to make dinner.

Taking a seat on the couch, Kasey joined you in watching the show as she laid her head on your lap. You decided to end it there, after all, it was between the two of you and you had tried everything to get them talking again in that time. Even though you didn't respond so well to Sunghoon's messages, because you were upset with him too. But you wanted the good of your two best friends, so giving in was a good thing.

What if I text him now? You thought. After a few hours of watching television, Kasey had taken a short nap on your lap. Breathing quietly with his hand still petting her hair.

With your free hand, you reached out far enough to reach your cell phone and go to Sunghoon's chat. But before you could type anything, your best friend's number was calling you.

Was it a sign, perhaps? He wanted to talk too and that could be good. Or not. You didn't know it, but you answered quickly hearing the noise on the other end of the phone.

"Sunghoon?" you asked as soon as you got no answer, not even a hello from the other end.

"Oh, she answered… Y/n? It's Jake."

"Jake!" you smiled into the handset even though no one could see it, not even Kasey who was still sleeping on your lap "What's that noise?"

"We came to a bar after work" you heard him gasp as he walked to a less noisy place. Maybe he was heading outside the establishment "But some things… Well… Didn't work out so well."

You could swear he was smiling shyly now as if he had done something wrong. Your mind wandered to the first time you met him when Sunghoon introduced his coworkers. Jake was so energetic and funny, and he gave such a shy smile when he broke one of the cups at Jay's house. Maybe it was that smile he was giving now.

"Tell me what happened, please…" you stirred a little, praying that your friend wouldn't wake up. And it had worked. You managed to get up from the couch and walk to the kitchen.

"Jake? What are you doing, man? Give me my cell phone back!" it was Sunghoon, and judging by his slurred voice, the boy was drunk.

"Be quiet and go with Sunoo, he needs to clean that cut."

"Cut?" for a second your voice came out so loud that, with Kasey's words on the couch, now your best friend was awake and Jake was regretting having scared you that much.

"Okay, okay. Sorry y/n. Can you… Can you…"

"Y/n? Did you call her?" Sunghoon picked up the phone under Jake's protests, taking the lead to talk to you "I know you're mad at me and Heeseung and we don't blame you" why is he talking about Heeseung out of nowhere? You hadn't even mentioned his name "But please don't kill us today."

"Kill you? What happened?"

"I guess being away from Kasey made me mad" he huffed, you thought that probably at that moment Sunghoon was playing with his own feet for being embarrassed about what he was going to say next "They bumped into me, I got into a fight and… Well…"

He went quiet and so did Jake. For a moment you pulled your cell phone away from your face to see if the call was still going on.

"Sunghoon?"

"Come pick us up, please?" he asked in a whispery tone, almost afraid someone would hear him.

"Okay, give me the address, we'll be there in a few minutes" your gaze quickly traveled to Kasey's drowsy figure, which was slowly waking up at the sight of her face.

She knew something was up, and you took a deep breath as Sunghoon passed you the phone so Jake could give you the address.

You knew where it was, so it would be easier to locate as you hung up the phone.

"Did something happen?" Kasey yawned.

"We need to go out and get the boys, I need you to come with me" you were so quick to deflect her questions, after all, you didn't have much time and she could see for herself. You didn't know much either.

Other than enough said by Jake and the mumblings of a drunk Sunghoon. You just mentally prayed that nothing that serious had happened, even if your trembling hands on the steering wheel of the car told you otherwise.

The nightclub was full and you didn't feel intimidated by the stares, because all the women were very well dressed and you were… in a sweatshirt. There was no time to change and even Kasey couldn't get out of her work clothes, because as soon as you said Sunghoon and cut in the same sentence, she just put on her shoes and ran with you wherever you went.

Disengaging from some people, apologizing to others for rushing through and getting to the other side of the club, you and your best friend finally reached the bar. The meeting point where Jake had texted you, and luckily, he had just arrived too.

"Thank God!" his sigh of relief was mirrored by the two of you, quickly hugging you on either side "Sunoo and I were the only ones in favor of calling you two" he looked at you and then at Kasey, smiling sincerely at the presence of the two of you there.

While he kept up a casual conversation, trying to distract them until they got to the back of the club, they both answered everything without much excitement, not least because the focus was on finding the boys who – possibly – were hurt. Sunghoon had a cut somewhere, that was the only information they had.

"The security guard let us stay here until you two arrived" Jake stopped in front of the door, it looked like a private room.

"Was it that bad?" Kasey tried not to look so desperate when Jake didn't answer with words, he just shrugged and sighed before walking in, being followed by her and then you.

The room was well lit and the table had only bottles of water on it, which made you feel more relieved. No alcohol, they had taken a break to recover.

Your gaze wandered around the people, stopping on Sunoo who was trying, uselessly, to make Sunghoon sit still while he cleaned the famous cut. It was on his lower lip and that could only have been caused by someone.

"Who did you fight with, Park Sunghoon?" your friend's voice caught the attention of all of them inside that room. So far no one had noticed the presence of the newcomers.

Sunghoon almost fell when he got up from the sofa if it wasn't for Sunoo who held him as soon as it happened.

"Kasey? Baby" he pouted, almost crying with the pain it caused him that his lip was bruised. Sunoo let go of him as her best friend reached for him, feeling his arms wrap around her.

"What happened?" he smothered her in a tight hug, saying anything you could at least hear. Paying attention to the two of them was funny, because in years of relationship, maybe that had been the most serious fight you've witnessed from them.

And it was weird, you couldn't deny it.

Your eyes went to Sunoo, smiling in appreciation for taking care of Sunghoon so well. Or at least trying to. And quickly a gaze ran to the other side of the room, stopping immediately on Heeseung.

He also seemed to have a cut, but he was located on his eyebrow. He had never looked away from you since you had entered that room, and judging by the way Jake put his hands on your back, pushing you towards him, it was your turn to go talk to the boy.

"Not me."

There was no denying that Jake was stronger, and this battle for breaking free from his hands to Heeseung would be a defeat. So you just accepted it and stopped in front of the boy.

"I'll help Sunoo and tell the security guard we can go now" Jake whispered to you, looking at Heeseung and flashing a smile "Behave yourself and be civilized this time."

"Okay, daddy Jake."

"Ew, gross. Don't call me that!" Jake flicked his middle finger at Heeseung and left, walking with Sunoo out of the room and leaving just the four of you there.

You wanted some sign of Kasey and Sunghoon, but their conversation seemed far more interesting than looking in your direction and answering the thousands of questions forming in your mind. Like, for example, why were you here with Heeseung? Sunoo could have looked after him or the boys could have told you what to say to the security guard and you would have gone there. Not standing there to look after someone who had been ridiculous to you.

"I think I can hear your neurons frying from here" Heeseung's voice invaded your ears and you sighed loudly, but not loud enough for him to hear since the music from the whole club was still invading every corner of the place. You turned towards him and tried not to express any reaction to that.

In vain. When he quickly grabbed your hands and forced his weight to stand up, getting only a few centimeters away from your body.

"Sorry, when I get drunk I can't… I…" his gaze was restless, paying attention to every little detail of your face. Whether it was your wide eyes and curiosity about his next move, or even your ajar, reddened lips that Heeseung swore he didn't want to see so closely or he might lose control.

"Heeseung, Sunghoon" Sunoo called out to his friends at the same moment Heeseung shook his hand. You let all the air out of your lungs when everyone inside that room paid attention to the newly arrived boy "Let's go out, I think y/n parked the car near ours. It won't be a problem for us to leave."

You all agreed and Sunoo guided Kasey, who had Sunghoon's arms around his body so he wouldn't stagger as he left. You wished you didn't have to think about it, but it was impossible at the same moment as Heeseung's hands gripped your shoulders.

"Can I hold on to you? I don't want to fall halfway," his voice whispered between your hair, close to your ear. And that damn shiver went through your whole body.

If he wasn't drunk, you could have sworn it was some kind of tease on his part. But without much thought one of your hands went to meet his on your shoulder, intertwining your fingers a little too tightly to hold him back.

"Be careful, Heeseung" you said, not knowing if he heard or not. You just wanted to get out of there and you did.

Walking out of the club with Sunoo in front to guide the way while Jake helped Kasey and Sunghoon.

Without much delay you reached the outside, you had indeed parked your car near the boys' car. Strategically or not, maybe out of sheer desperation to just get there and find them, but at least it had worked out.

"Okay, someone needs to take Heeseung's car. He won't drive like this" Sunoo held up the keys between his fingers.

"Hey, there's my keys" he grumbled, dropping your shoulders to stagger over to Sunoo. Unsuccessful in picking up his car keys, he was without a shred of reflex due to his drinking.

"And I came with him" Sunghoon whined softly, laying his head on Kasey's shoulder for a few seconds, but quickly getting up "I had an idea!"

"Oh shit, should we worry?" Jake asked amused, eliciting a small laugh from the group for the first time all night.

Sunghoon decided to ignore the joke made to him, looking at each of the people there until his eyes stopped on Heeseung.

"You knew that y/n did a few semesters of medicine, right?" you frowned at that question, after all, how relevant could it be since it had nothing to do with the subject.

"Yeah, we talked about it that day" Heeseung agreed.

"What? Did you talk about me?" you almost shouted, startling the two drunken chatters. Jake and Sunoo decided to turn their attention to their cell phones, talking to their girlfriends to give them the news that everything was okay later in the evening. Meanwhile, Sunghoon and Heeseung ignored – or tried to ignore – their questions and focused on the small talk they were having.

"She can take care of your cuts and take you home."

If your life were a cartoon, your eyes would pop out of their orbs the moment you rolled them. How could Sunghoon think such a thing? And how Jake was laughing at that situation so unpretentiously while you denied it with several nods.

"Sunghoon, what are you doing?" Kasey asked in a whisper.

"Helping my friend, I want to make amends with both of them" but his answer had been loud enough, and your eyes remained wide.

Jake, realizing that nothing would come out of his mouth and that Heeseung would not answer anything either, decided to intervene.

"Y/n, I think Sunghoon meant that you can take good care of Heeseung's cuts" he said low, just for you to hear since Sunoo, at that moment, was talking to Heeseung. Gave some guidance because he couldn't drive in that state "He cares the least about it and we're afraid it might get infected."

"I don't— Jake!" you whined.

"It's all right. Anything you can call me, you know" he touched your shoulder with him in a subtle motion "I live two streets away from Heeseung's apartment. If he's an asshole, you can yell."

It was just saying no. Just deny it and say that someone else could take such good care of his cuts other than you, not least because your medical school had been a long time coming. But of course, that first aid part hadn't been forgotten by you.

Shit, shit, shit. Why was no denial of any kind going on in your mind? Why were you walking towards Sunoo and reaching out to take the keys to Heeseung's car? Why were you handing your car keys to Kasey?

"Take care of my baby, please" you said to your best friend as the metal of the keys slipped out of your fingers and into hers.

"I will" she smiled, feeling Sunghoon's arms go away from her body so he could walk over to you and hug you.

"You're the best friend in the whole universe, I swear" Sunghoon whispered as he hugged you tightly. You, returning the hug, smiled as he kissed the top of your head before slowly pulling away "Take care of him for me because I know he'll take care of you."

"Okay, mister drunk" your smile made him smile too, and meanwhile, you clutched Heeseung's keys between your fingers and turned to him.

Without saying a single word, the boy pointed to the dark car in the row of a few cars a little further away. Then it was just a matter of saying goodbye to your friends and getting out. And so you did.

Greeting one by one until there was no one left, you let Heeseung lead the way, hoping he wouldn't trip or hurt himself on the way to the car. Safe and sound, he leaned against the passenger door and smiled without showing his teeth, indicating that it was that vehicle that would take you both away.

You unlocked it, got in, and were followed by him until you both closed the door for good.

"I need your address now" you said.

He just agreed, saying he would drive you to his apartment. As you started the car, your attention was always on the road, afraid to look away from him. But that didn't stop Heeseung from looking at you.

And he knows he did it all the way to his apartment. Without regretting it for a second.

Heeseung let you rummage through the bathroom cabinet when you said the first aid kit was in there. Complying with your requests, he walked to the kitchen and drank at least two full glasses of water in an attempt to relieve the drunkenness – which had been leaving his body since the moment he got into the car with you. This time, pulling up a chair to sit near the table, the young man waited patiently until you returned. Or he thought he was patient, faltering the second you walked through the kitchen door.

Under the bright light of the kitchen Heeseung could swear that your skin glowed something completely different than he had ever seen in his entire life. Your face was so focused on the small briefcase and some tape in your other hand, that he sighed when he saw a small pout forming on your lips.

"I already washed my hands, okay?" your voice was low due to your proximity to him, placing the case on the table behind Heeseung. He straightened up in the chair and, as if by automatic, his legs opened for you to fit your body in there.

Your gaze fell on Heeseung's legs, hesitating whether or not to stay there, but it was the only way. The only right way to be so close so you could clean that cut with the almost dried blood.

Tidying his hair so that no strands remained in front of his face, he slowly slid between his legs to stand there, a few centimeters from Heeseung's body that was sitting almost static in front of you. He closed his eyes as soon as he saw you pick up the cotton and pour something in, feeling the icy material against his skin.

"What…"

"I'm cleaning it" you kept talking quietly, sometimes making your breath hitch against his skin "You were sweaty and it was open for a long time, we don't know what's in there."

He murmured in agreement, continuing to keep his eyes closed and not catching any moment of your care. Only occasionally feeling your fingers against his hair to push it away from his face. Or when the absorbent cotton slipped out of your hands, or even when you wiped away some of the contents you had used to clean up and it was dripping, almost going onto his cheek.

"Heeseung?" you called him after a few minutes.

"Yeah…" he opened his eyes, meeting yours that was already looking at him in anticipation. A small smile formed on his lips and Heeseung didn't know why he smiled back at that.

"This might sting a bit" he rolled his eyes down his hands, seeing a small bottle there. Surely he had bought it at the insistence of his coworkers, after all, Heeseung had no idea how to heal a wound. In all of his – occasioned by fighting – Heeseung always had someone in the ring who did it for him, so worrying about taking care of it wasn't his area.

"You know y/n, you don't have to—"

"I do, you won't get it without some medicine" your scolding made him go quiet, realizing that had shut Heeseung up, so you continued "You can squeeze me or ask me to stop if it stings unbearably, okay?"

Without a single word, he just agreed, thinking it was a complete exaggeration. Especially since he fought practically all the time, he had already been beaten up a lot and had many cuts on his face, why would it burn so much that he would do those things?

"Fuck" Heeseung almost screamed when he felt his skin burn and the pressure of your fingers with the cotton from the cut.

In the same second, he grabbed your waist, his strong hands squeezing your shirt and consequently pulling your body closer to him. It made you completely hug Heeseung. And he didn't seem to notice, not even for a moment as he still held himself tightly against you.

Your breathing faltered for a few seconds, the closeness to him making you inhale the scent he had. The musk of his fragrance entered your nostrils as you closed your eyes momentarily and opened them, focusing on the care while Heeseung still kept his hands on your waist.

"It's okay, you can let me go now" you whispered as you took the cotton with the medicine, discarding it just like the other materials you used to clean his wound.

"Shit, I'm sorry" realizing what he had done as soon as he opened his eyes, Heeseung released his hands from your waist, remaining seated.

You didn't say anything else as you put away every single thing you used, throwing what you needed in the trash and going back to grab your kit bag. Your walk back to the bathroom was longer because your steps seemed slower and your thoughts traveled to Heeseung's fingers against your body. As he walked out of the kitchen in the same slow steps, processing what had just happened.

It wouldn't be a big deal that touches because he actually felt pain and your body was the only tangible thing in front of him. But why did Heeseung's fingers tingle? Why did he want more of that contact?

"Okay, your stuff is already put away" your voice snapped him out of his reveries, making the boy stare at you a little dazed by the whole situation.

"Thank you" he tried to smile knowing that it had looked more like a grimace because you laughed softly as you searched for the things that you had left on the couch "Hey, where are you going?"

"Home…?" your lips pressed together, preventing any expression from being used as you held up your cell phone and the cold sweater you had put there when you arrived.

"No, you can stay."

"Heeseung, I—"

"Seriously y/n, I insist" he interrupted you, swallowing dryly when he saw a glimpse of hesitation in you, almost dropping your phone in it's place "It's the least I can do after you took care of it" he pointed to the cut that no longer bled "And you can rest assured, I like sleeping on my couch."

"No… Not really" you tried to protest.

"I'll be right back" with an overwhelming stubbornness, Heeseung disappeared down the hallway of the apartment, making you snort and not giving you a chance to answer anything.

He didn't take long, but it felt like an eternity to you when he came back with some blankets and pillows in his arms, throwing everything on one of the armchairs.

"I'm not very tidy with things, but I promise my bed is a clean and safe place" he smiled, running one of his hands over the back of his neck quickly. Heeseung was at a loss and didn't know how to act from then on "You can sleep there tonight, I'll take you home as soon as we wake up."

You had nothing else to say but accept the offer. Leaving at that hour from Heeseung's apartment wasn't a smart thing to do, taking an app car wasn't very safe either. And Jake had probably already gone to sleep, you didn't want to bother him, even if the boy lived a few minutes away.

"Thanks, Heeseung" was the only thing you managed to say before approaching him and touching both of his hands. Slowly brushing your thumb across the back of his hand, an intimate and quick act, before letting go of his hand and smiling once more. You said your goodbyes and headed down the hallway to the bedrooms, running into his room as your cheeks began to heat up.

Meanwhile, slumped on the huge sofa, Heeseung felt a tingle in his hand again. But this time, a huge smile was on his lips, and now he could tell why this time.

You didn't know you would miss waking up to the smell of Heeseung. Even though it had only been a few days since you had slept over at his place, with him dropping you off at your apartment door, it was getting more and more confusing. Why couldn't you just stop thinking about him? After all, Heeseung had been a asshole, he'd only been nice out of courtesy and because you'd taken care of his cut, nothing could be fairer.

But no. He had a way of ruining all the thoughts and strategies you yourself had devised to ward off anything related to him.

Hearing the doorbell ring relentlessly, you huffed and walked lazily to the door, balancing your coffee mug as you let your hair down from the grueling day you had at work.

"I hope you haven't forgotten anything here at all, Kasey."

"Maybe Sunghoon can get it for her later" Heeseung's voice almost made you knock over all the coffee you were drinking. Your eyes widened at the sudden appearance and the words had simply vanished from your mind, as if you had unlearned how to speak.

"What… What are you doing here?" shit, you wanted to scream, why were you stuttering in front of him?

"Can I come in?"

No.

"Yes, come in" you said, completely betraying your brain from barring you while there was time.

After entering your apartment, Heeseung walked shyly to the center of your living room with you trailing behind, admiring every detail in it.

"Sorry to come unannounced, but…" he stopped looking at your wall decorations, turning around and facing you "Sunghoon said it was either this, or you wouldn't answer any of my messages."

"Why?" you asked.

"Because maybe he let it slip that you've already called me every possible name" he shrugged, not seeming the least bit affected by it. You could feel your cheeks burning, and from the embarrassed look on your face, Heeseung managed to smile.

"Well… I had reasons" your coffee mug rested on the coffee table as you approached him, crossing your arms in front of your chest as Heeseung held out his hands. A bag dangled from your fingers and you glanced at it quickly, letting out a laugh afterward.

"Accept my apology, please" you took the package and then bluntly took it from there.

The bottle of wine looked expensive enough that you never thought of buying it. It was the kind of gift that only your best friends would give because it never seemed to cross your mind to spend something like that.

"Heeseung" his name came out of your lips like a little melody, and he loved it.

"I didn't know if you liked flowers or chocolates" he whispered "But Sunghoon always comments on how you and Kasey go out drinking, I just figured."

"Thank you" that had been so cute that the pout on your lips made him sigh, and he didn't care that you had heard.

"It was for fight day, actually."

"What?"

He was quiet for the briefest of seconds, waiting for you to put the bottle of wine away somewhere appropriate that you could use later or whenever you pleased. As soon as you approached him again, Heeseung nibbled on his bottom lip as he rambled on about how to tell you about it.

"Ever since I started this thing, me and the boys have had an agreement" the agreement that neither you nor Kasey knew about, so you just nodded because he had to keep talking. And because you were too curious to say anything "We don't take any kind of unaccompanied girl to the fight."

"Why?" Heeseung pondered whether or not to continue, but he had already gotten that far. If he turned back, you'd surely get even angrier and never see him in front of you again.

"I've been around this shit long enough to see what the guys are capable of over there, y/n" he had a serious tone, but he didn't sound angry at all. Just emphasizing that the subject wasn't any kind of joke "I've lost count of how many times I've heard absurdities from the guys there and what they did with any girl who stepped in that place" he made a disgusted face, recalling facts and even stories that the men told.

It was stomach-churning and Heeseung would spare you any details, telling you only what was necessary to get the matter over with.

"So I made a deal with them about it, that they could only take some girl if she was accompanied" finally, Heeseung didn't know he had gotten so close to you while telling that story. Looking into your eyes when he was finally a few centimeters away from you.

"That's why you asked if I had a boyfriend?" your voice almost faltered from lack of use, watching him slowly agree.

"I was so mad at Sunghoon for breaking our agreement that I ended up taking it out on you, so for that I'm sorry" Heeseung's hand touched your arm, causing you to undo their crisscross so he could hold your hand and intertwine your fingers in his.

"It's okay, you had a good reason. You could have just said it instead of being an asshole to me."

"I know that, that's why I want to make amends" Heeseung slowly squeezed your fingers in his, staring at their joined hands as he looked back up at your face.

"How?"

"By inviting you to my next fight this weekend" he smiled when he saw your face contort in confusion.

Why would Heeseung call you to the place where he said all sorts of things happened and, on top of that, have the first fight that made you hate him – not at the moment – but you didn't want to admit it.

"For you to fight me again for being alone there?" your question made him laugh, Heeseung knew he wouldn't get a different answer than that. And he expected it, so his next move had been almost calculated.

Closing the small distance between you two, he let you feel the small pressure of his body against yours. One of his hands ran down to your waist, the first place he touched you.

"No" Heeseung's voice was so low it was only audible because of proximity as he lowered his neck enough to let his face close to yours "Because you'll be with me."

"But you're going to fight" you said as the tip of his nose touched yours, a small sigh leaving your lips at the contact.

"Exactly" he whispered "I'll be watching you the whole time" Heeseung squeezed your waist, still whispering every word as he brushed his lips against yours "And it was nice to have your eyes on me while I was in the ring, you know?"

"Really?" you remembered the small exchange of glances between the two of you when it all went down, thankful that now you both had your eyes closed so he wouldn't notice the blush on your cheeks.

"Really, because it motivated me in a way."

"How?"

"On the one hand I was mad that you didn't have a boyfriend and were alone there" Heeseung touched his lips to yours, the softness almost making you cry out. He chuckled softly, the vibration going straight to his mouth because of how close the two of you were "On the other hand I felt relieved, so I have an excuse to call you to my fights."

"I guess I can accept that."

He wasn't sure if the answer was from your sentence or the way his lips were still lingering on yours. Heeseung was going to take that as an answer to both thoughts, getting carried away with the fact that now you would go with him to the fights and finally get to taste your lips on his.

© ikeuverse, 2023. do not copy, translate or steal my stories.

DON'T BE AFRAID TO SAY — l.heeseung

PAIRING: heeseung x fem!reader  GENRES: fluff, angst  WC: 15.3k+

WARNINGS: mention of betrayal (not between heeseung and y/n), swearing, arguing, drinking alcohol, mention of sex, and i think that's it. let me know if i've forgotten anything, please.

SYNOPSIS: lee heeseung is afraid to say the three famous words out loud, and he knows that because he didn't, he lost you once. and he doesn't want that to happen again.

NOTES: first of all, more than 15k words? maybe i got carried away or idk i was abstaining from writing... this is the longest story I've ever written on this tumblr (so far). i've had this idea for a while and i've also read similar things, but never with heeseung being the one who can't say i love you. i decided to do it the way i imagined it would be, so i hope you like it!

masterlist

Your fingers circled the wine glass as she looked at your flatmate and best friend. The tip of her nose was red from crying and, with a little more wine in her glass, she drank it all in one gulp.

"You're going to get drunk like that" your voice came out low, to warn her, not scolding her.

"That's the point" Hyojin smiled without any humor, pouring some more and showing you that it was over.

One more bottle, she hissed in your direction and you got up to get it from the fridge. Your best friend wasn't kidding when she told you to go to the market and buy six bottles of wine for the evening.

Break-ups are hard, you think, although you've never really experienced them. You just follow your friends and even your favorite movies and characters. But the worst break-up is when the guy swears his love, asks you to marry, and then says he's been offered a job on the other side of the country.

It happened to Hyojin. Her relationship with Seungho was perfect, worthy of a movie script, you'd think. They met in their last year of high school – you met Hyojin in your first year of college, so Seungho came with baggage. And every year on that university campus the two of them stood out because they were so close and loving towards each other.

After graduating, the two moved in together and after a year Seungho asked her to marry him. You still remember Hyojin's eyes shining as brightly as that ring on her finger while your best friend giggled on the sofa in their small apartment.

"I'm getting married" she said, and you agreed. Because of the two of you, she was even more likely to do it because of your long-standing relationship, while you had never been in a relationship. Not even a serious one.

After months of engagement, Seungho said that he had been offered a job on the other side of the country. Hyojin had always encouraged him, so there was no hesitation when she helped him pack for the trip. But not before shedding a few tears over the constant conversations they had when he stayed at the couple's apartment to make the final arrangements.

"Are you sure we'll work out from a distance?" he asked one night, looking deep into Hyojin's eyes as he sighed. Even though she didn't know what he was asking, she only agreed and assured him that she would wait for him, or even try to ask for a transfer from her work to the headquarters less than an hour from where Seungho said he would be staying.

But there was no time. The shock of seeing Seungho going to the other side of the country and getting into a relationship with a woman from the company made Hyojin's stomach turn.

I was being betrayed the whole time, she mumbled through sobs as you tried to calm her down in the middle of the apartment your best friend shared with her - now - ex-fiancé.

How could Hyojin never have suspected? How could you never see that he was capable of this? Was Seungho so fake as to deceive Hyojin's family, her friends and everyone around to show himself to be an honest man while having an affair with a woman from his work?

"Maybe we should go to his new job and set fire to his new office" Sora, another friend of the two of you, suggested while pouring some more chocolate ice cream.

Sneakily, you picked up your phone and stared at your friend.

"I think I'll ask Jake to put our contact in the emergency room in case he needs help" you commented. Jake was Sora's boyfriend and your best friend at college. He had also met Seungho and hated the whole thing, but he had to divide himself between looking after his best friend – with the help of his girlfriend – and Hyojin's brother who was fighting the urge to kill his younger sister's ex-fiancé.

The whole issue itself leads up to the moment in question where, one more night, Hyojin falls into the weakness of feeling sad again. Crying and wondering where she had gone wrong all this time that she hadn't noticed a single sign that she was being betrayed.

All this guilt consumed you all the more for being your best friend for so long that you couldn't even say anything. So your apology was to buy more wine and let your best friend, and now flatmate, drink as much as she wanted.

Asking Hyojin to move in with you after the breakup was the least you could do since she didn't want to stay where she was either. Nothing that reminded of her ex was something to be proud of. So the further away she was, the better off she would be.

"Maybe you need to go to bed now" you said sleepily, yawning and leaving your glass halfway down.

"No, of course not" she was cheerful, even if her whole face looked a bit swollen from the amount of crying she'd done "How about we have a party?"

"Now?" you widened your eyes as you picked up your cell phone to check the time.

One o'clock in the morning.

"Hyojin, let's go to bed" you stood up and tried to take her by the hand, but your friend sidestepped you and took the device from her. Unlocking it and typing a few things "What are you doing?"

Hyojin didn't answer, putting the phone on speaker.

"Hyojin…"

"Hyojin?" the thick, sleepy voice on the other end of the line indicated that it was a boy. Sleepy and a little inebriated, you narrowed your eyes to see the caller ID.

"Hey, brother" she laughed softly and then looked at you, her eyes so small that you could see the effect of so many bottles of wine.

"You're drunk, aren't you?" he said. A rustle on the other end of the line indicated that he was stirring in bed to get up, apparently waking from his peaceful slumber.

"Y/n's fault, she bought me a drink."

"Motherfucker" you whispered.

"Can I talk to y/n?" he asked at the same moment you cursed your best friend.

With a mischievous, cheeky grin, Hyojin agreed without protest and gave you her cell phone. Before he did anything, your gaze followed your friend out of the kitchen as she said needed to go to the bathroom. He then took the handset off the speakerphone.

"Y/n?" he called this time.

"Hi, Heeseung" you didn't know why you'd swallowed, even though you weren't face to face, you could imagine the small smile he gave when you said his name.

"Can you keep her awake for a few minutes until I get there?" he asked. You couldn't see, but Heeseung had the speakerphone on just to get out of his pajamas and into more comfortable clothes, putting on his sneakers and picking up the handset again.

"What? You're coming—"

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes, okay?" there was no denying it since you remembered how protective Heeseung was of Hyojin. So you could only agree with your best friend's older brother "Okay, I'll call you on her cell phone to let you know I've arrived."

And before you could even process that Heeseung had hung up, Hyojin arrived in the kitchen.

"So… Did you miss my brother's voice?" she asked in a mischievous tone, making you roll your eyes.

"You're drunk and delirious" you were holding her cell phone in your hands, laughing as your best friend hugged you by the shoulders "Now let's stay on the couch until Heeseung gets here."

"He's coming over? Did you ask?"

"No" you said simply, ending the conversation at that moment as Hyojin walked into the living room to sit down, waiting for his brother.

While you divided your attention between the device and your best friend, yawning a few times and feeling that the drunkenness was gradually wearing off. At the same time, your heart began to race, and you just wanted to push away the thought that the reason was coming in fifteen minutes.

Heeseung had arrived in fifteen minutes, or even less, you couldn't tell. He talked to you to try to find out how many bottles Hyojin had drunk and if she had done anything other than call him.

No. All the answers were no and Heeseung was relieved to know that you were taking such good care of his sister.

You tried to reassure him that everything was fine and that he could rest, but knowing your overprotection and big-brother instincts, it was nothing new that Heeseung would take Hyojin to bed and sleep there.

Nor would it be news that the next morning you would be sitting on one of the stools facing the kitchen worktop watching Heeseung cook breakfast.

Your sleepy voice made him laugh to himself as he asked you what you liked to eat. Pancakes with extra chocolate icing was a good one, a little blood glucose, and a good strong coffee without sugar to balance out the hangover. It all blended so well in your mouth that you almost let out a compliment louder than: thank you, this is amazing.

It wasn't long before Hyojin woke up, much worse off than you, and joined the bench next to you to eat breakfast.

"What will you have?" Heeseung asked in a low tone, already preparing himself for the next words.

"Don't shout, I've got a headache" Hyojin spoke, he just moved his lips as if imitating her, already knowing exactly what she would say. You laughed, only to be reprimanded by your best friend.

"Okay, strong coffee first" Heeseung whispered and poured some of the strong brown liquid into a cup he had already set aside for her.

While Hyojin drank, you finished your chocolate pancakes and stared at your best friend next to you. But that didn't stop you from feeling the weight of the pair of eyes in front of you. You didn't want to turn and face Heeseung, but you knew he was looking at you.

The three of you remained silent for long minutes until Hyojin had recovered – after three long cups of coffee – opting to go and sit at the table since the kitchen counter wouldn't be as comfortable to hold a conversation staring at each other.

"Well…" Heeseung began, looking at you until he focused on Hyojin "Six bottles? Really?"

A short silence is maintained until she clicks her tongue inside her mouth, bringing the cup halfway to her lips and taking a sip of coffee.

"Last time I managed to outdo myself, it was nine bottles" she laughed to herself, knowing it wasn't funny, but wanting to get rid of the tense atmosphere and the two of them staring at her with concern.

"Did he call you?" he let slip after a while. Hyojin didn't want to appear fragile now, so you just huffed and made a point of getting up. Perhaps this was a private conversation between the brothers and you didn't want to get involved.

"No" Hyojin said as she grabbed your arm, so that answer had a double meaning – both for Heeseung and for your leaving the kitchen, she wanted you to stay.

"Then why do you still insist on drinking because of that asshole and crying about him every night?"

Another moment of silence. You wanted to leave while there was still time, but Hyojin's hand remained on your arm.

"Maybe because it's been more than five years of relationship, including a year of engagement."

The brothers exchanged angry glances with each other, but they weren't angry with each other. Heeseung wasn't mad at Hyojin and Hyojin wasn't mad at him.

You mentioned opening your mouth a few times and shut up when they started arguing with each other. With no intention of stopping so soon, you knew that when the Lee brothers started an argument, it would go on for so long that all you had to do was pick up your friend's cup and drink the coffee for her.

"How was I supposed to know he was cheating on me, Heeseung?" Hyojin snapped, just in time for you to pull on her arm and get out of there quickly.

Dialing Jake's number, the only one who could help you in this whole situation. He didn't need to ask you anything when you just said "come quickly" because he knew what he had to do.

And as quickly as Heeseung arrived last night, Jake was walking through the door of the apartment.

The brothers were still arguing in the kitchen and you had a sad smile on your face.

"How long?" he asked, pulling you into a hug and smelling freshly brewed coffee.

"Since I called you, that's…"

"Twenty minutes" he looked at his cell phone and then at you, linking his arm in yours so that the two of you could go into the kitchen where the discussion was still going on.

None of the Lee brothers realized that you had been gone for so long, and even fewer had noticed Jake's arrival – now with you – in the kitchen. The two of them shouted at each other and Hyojin sometimes banged the table when he noticed how ironic his older brother was being.

"Were you stupid enough to believe that he would wait for you on the other side of the country?" Heeseung shouted this time. The veins were prominent on his neck as he kept his fists clenched on the table, imagining one of his hands meeting Seungho's face.

"I was, Heeseung. I was dumb enough because I loved Seungho" Hyojin shouted back "I've loved him for all these years, but there's no point in arguing about it because you don't know what love is, do you?"

"Hyojin" he called out to his sister, his eyes widening when she mentioned such a thing.

"What? I was stupid enough to be cheated on and we can't bring up the fact that Mr. Perfect doesn't know what real love is?"

"That's enough!" Jake shouted so loudly that it startled all three of them at once.

You cringed next to him, Hyojin shuddered and Heeseung stood up so quickly that he felt his vision go dark for a few seconds before returning to normal.

"Jake?" the Lee brothers asked at the same time.

He cleared his throat, untangling his arm from you to walk over to the two of them who were standing near the dining table.

"What are you doing here?" Heeseung asked.

"Trying to intervene in a silly fight between siblings" he kept his voice loud but didn't shout this time. Looking between Heeseung and Hyojin, he sighed "What the fuck are you two doing?"

Really, what were the two of them doing? Stopping the fight for a while and looking in your direction, you seemed stunned by everything that was happening while Hyojin and Heeseung realized why Jake was there.

You called him. You called Jake so that he would somehow try to stop what you hadn't been able to.

"I'm sorry" Hyojin tried to say, but you just nodded and looked away from the two brothers to go to the counter and get some more coffee.

"I think this whole situation is getting on everyone's nerves, that's for sure" Jake began, signaling to you that he also wanted some coffee. As soon as he took the cup, he thanked you and sat down in the chair next to Hyojin – where you had been sitting before everything started "But we don't have to blame each other for something that's Seungho's fault."

No one doubted Jake's words and how right he was about them, but hearing out loud that it wasn't anyone's fault made Heeseung panic. Because he needed to blame someone, or at least try to get all the anger out since everything happened and he saw his sister cry.

It was different from a scraped knee, for example. Or when Hyojin cried when she was ten because Heeseung wouldn't let her play with his Legos.

It was also different when Heeseung fought with Hyojin for eating the last chocolate from the box of sweets, for example. Or how he yelled – not raged – at her because Hyojin had borrowed one of his perfumes. Without asking. Because she liked the smell of her older brother.

It was all very different, that's for sure.

"Is now the time for an apology?" Hyojin looked at his brother, who had his head down and was staring at his fingers.

You and Jake nodded in agreement, but before she could say anything, Heeseung stood up.

"I'm leaving, Jake and y/n can take care of you from here" and without waiting for anyone else to say anything, he left.

Hyojin wanted to mentally curse herself more than before. More than anything. Looking at her two friends who remained in the kitchen, their vision blurred by tears, she sobbed.

"Your words were hard, you know, aren't they?" she laid her head on Jake's shoulder, as the boy felt her tears soak through his T-shirt. Hyojin sobbed some more, then bit his lower lip.

"I just… I thought…" she couldn't say anything. You knew that, because Jake had known the brothers for a little longer, perhaps the truths – or insults – spoken at that moment carried things you didn't know yet. So you decided to keep quiet and leave the kitchen once again.

You walked into the living room just in time to see Heeseung coming down the stairs from the duplex, fixing his hair and the sweatshirt he'd worn the night before. He turned to you, his eyes watering too, but he didn't say anything. Not even a nod in your direction. Just a sad look, perhaps thanking you for the day's stay and for looking after Hyojin while he got to the apartment.

Leaving quickly, Heeseung had you worried because you knew why Hyojin was crying, but you had no idea why he was shedding those tears.

"Traveling?" Hyojin frowned as you pushed the milkshake glass towards her. Berries for your best friend while you sipped on something with salted caramel.

"A whole month away from all this, what do you think?"

"A whole month?" she widened her eyes "And where would we go?"

Her shoulders rose and fell, shrugging them slowly as she pretended to think. It turned out that you and Jake had talked a lot over the last few weeks after that moment in your apartment with the Lee brothers. All the events were affecting everything around you, the boy had even said that he almost got into a fight with Sora for a silly reason because he was thinking of ways to end Seungho's life.

That man had ruined the mood of everyone in Hyojin's life and none of them wanted it anymore.

"Jake said he missed Grandma Lee's farmhouse" you smiled with your lips around the straw, sipping your milkshake as you listened to your best friend laugh.

"What are you two up to?" she asked, sipping her cold drink and feeling that cozy taste. It was the drink the two of you shared once a week when you wanted to talk outside the house or simply get out of the routine of coffee, wine, or any other drink you had inside your home – the apartment you shared after everything happened.

"Actually" you looked away and stared at the people in the street. Each one with their daily life, average problems or not. Some talk on their cell phones and others enjoy the company of another person, a child, a dog on a leash, and even a food delivery man balancing a few boxes in his hand as he enters an establishment in front of the café. You turned your attention to Hyojin, smiling at her "Jake and I have talked a lot since everything happened and we were just thinking about something we could all do together again. Just like old times."

Like old times, that phrase echoed in Hyojin's head. You all used to go to her grandmother's country house, yes. You, Heeseung, Jake and Sora, and her with Seungho. Spending incredible moments with Grandma Lee, while the siblings recounted everything they'd ever gotten up to on that estate.

Jake has already risked climbing the apple tree that Heeseung almost fell from when he was eight. Or how Seungho gently cut up the vegetables for Grandma Lee while you set the table bathed in yet another nostalgic story about the brothers. Or even of the little lady who loved company.

It was a different place to where you used to go, far from the city, the beach, or any social interaction since you all had plenty of that in the city where you lived.

It was on Grandma Lee's farm that you learned to knit and sew, for example. And it was there that Sora painted a friendship picture on her last vacation that hung in your living room. That place contained a lot of memories of the Lee brothers, but it was also a place where Hyojin was creating a lot of memories with her friends too, along with her brother – she wanted to exclude Seungho completely from these thoughts.

"If I accept this vacation" she began, a smile widening her lips as you listened to your best friend ramble on until she sighed at the end of the sentence "why do we need to stay a month?"

"Because it's enough time for Jake to explore all of your granny's fruit trees" you listed, sipping your cold drink to wet your throat "Or for Heeseung to teach Sora how to ride his grandfather's tractor" you both laughed at the last memory when she almost broke through a fence "Or how your grandmother can keep teaching me how to knit" you shrugged.

It was unfair to list all that with the smell of longing and nostalgia for Hyojin. She knew it had been a long time since she'd seen her grandmother, and long enough since she'd taken a vacation to relax.

"Have you two told Heeseung about this?" she asked.

Perfect, she's considering the idea, you thought as you shook your head in reply.

"Jake's going to talk to him today."

"So this meeting of ours wasn't about drinking?" your friend pretended to be offended when she realized that, at the moment you were talking to her about it, Jake was probably talking to Jake too, wherever you were.

With a guilty smile, you finished your milkshake and smiled at her before grimacing.

"Vacation. A month to miss granny Lee, please?"

With a pout on your lips, you hoped that this would convince Lee Hyojin to go on vacation with you and Jake.

Grandma Lee's hug was so welcoming that you didn't want to leave, feeling her hands smoothing your back as you laid your head on hers.

"How I've missed having you all here" she said after releasing you, going to hug Sora in the same way.

"We missed you too, Grandma" Hyojin had already hugged her, so he sat down on the sofa while he waited for Grandma to get her friends to join her.

"How did you all manage to leave at the same time?" she asked "And the boys, where are they?"

"Coming a bit late" Hyojin said "Heeseung and Jake had to pick someone up, so we wanted to come quickly."

"To get the best guest room" you added.

When they came to Grandma Lee's house, Hyojin used to share a room with Seungho, while you and Sora shared another, next to Heeseung and Jake in the other room. Since it would be kind of weird for you to sleep with your best friend's brother. Or not.

This time the division would be with you sleeping with Hyojin, while Jake and Sora would share the other room, and Heeseung would sleep with his new friend who was arriving. Up went the suitcases and superficially tidied up until they arrived, which didn't take long when Jake's car horn was heard coming down the road before it stopped near the fences of Grandma Lee's property.

You all came out of the house together with the lady to greet the new arrivals who were getting out of the vehicle to unload their bags and supplies.

"Hey, you didn't take long" Sora approached first, being hugged by Jake as he kissed her quickly.

"I thought the two of them were going to roll into the house, but it was kind of quick" he smiled, opening the trunk to grab his things, but before he could pull out the suitcase, Jake shouted, "Granny!"

He ran out towards the lady who was already near the entrance stairs to greet him. Heeseung got out of the car laughing at the typical scene that happened every time they went there. It was as if Jake was more of a grandson than Heeseung himself or even Hyojin. He felt more like part of the family and even had a little argument with you for having been adopted first as Mrs. Lee's grandson.

"How handsome you look, Jake" she said after hugging him, receiving a grateful smile from the boy.

"You look wonderful" Jake complimented "And you know what I brought?"

"Don't tell me you—"

"Jake, if you brought my grandmother a drink…" Hyojin wanted to yell at him when he saw his friend shrug and dodge a slap he could have received on his arm.

You and Sora could only laugh at the whole situation as you watched Heeseung approach a boy. Your eyes narrowed to decipher who it was, without recognizing him until he got close enough and waved to the two of you.

"Grandma" Heeseung didn't want to let go of the lady in his arms, almost lifting her off the ground when he went to hug her. Laughing at the whole thing, Grandma Lee said she missed her eldest grandson before he introduced the boy "Women, this is our friend Sunghoon. Sunghoon, this is my wonderful, perfect granny" the tall, dark-haired boy smiled at the lady, who wasn't shy about hugging him too "This is Sora, Jake's girlfriend" she waved to Sunghoon after he had been hugged by Grandma Lee "And this is y/n, my sister's best friend."

"Oh" Sunghoon raised his eyebrows when he heard her name, and it made his smile falter. Did he know you?

You nodded back, swallowing dryly and putting it out of your mind for a while when Jake returned with Hyojin.

"Have you chosen your rooms yet?" he asked "We've brought so much food that I think we'll have enough for the whole month."

"That's great, I'm going to cook a lot for all of you" while Grandma Lee was talking to the rest of the group, you pulled Jake along before he approached the car with the others to unload everything they had brought. He looked at you with a calm countenance, smiling without showing his teeth and waiting for you to say something.

"Who's Sunghoon?" you asked quietly, afraid that someone would overhear.

Jake bit his lip to keep from laughing, but it still happened. This time he received a slap on the arm from you.

"Come on, why am I getting hit?" he asked, dodging another slap and staying by your side as you started walking to the car "He's a friend of Heeseung's from work, we talk about a lot of things, and... Well, eventually about girls too."

"And why did he… Mhm…" you could feel your cheeks burning at the thought, but you still wanted to ask "And why did he look surprised when he heard my name?"

Jake didn't laugh this time, but he kept a shit-eating grin on his face as he let everyone take their bags into the house, leaving just you and him there to pick up the rest.

"Because I talk about Sora, we talk about Hyojin too" he ran the tip of his tongue between his lips before speaking "And Heeseung has said things about you a few times too."

"Things? About me? But wait… What kind of things?" you asked.

Jake picked up the heavier bags, leaving some light ones for you to carry. When he had taken them, he closed the trunk of the car and activated the alarm to enter Grandma Lee's house with you.

"How about we talk and have a drink tonight after dinner?" Jake whispered, "So you can ask Sunghoon himself."

Jake was a son of a bitch when he wanted to be, and you hated that side of your best friend. But at the same time, you knew how right he was.

You all drank a little after dinner. And after each other, and each other too, making it an almost daily practice after the meal for the next two weeks. Drinking, talking, and laughing, all together. But at no point did you manage to ask Sunghoon anything in particular. And he also didn't seem to mind interacting with you so much after the first time you met.

Sunghoon had been working with Heeseung in the same sector for just over a year and a half, and you realized – along with your two friends – that he was just as playful and fun as the boy and Jake. Putting the three of you together made for a good session of laughter and even adventure within the first two weeks.

You all explored the surroundings, hiking and recognizing places you'd only been to a few times before. Bathing in the waterfall on the nearby property, which was a friend of the Lee family, it wouldn't be a problem for anyone to feel uncomfortable, as Sunghoon said he was afraid of.

You also went into town to buy more drinks because, according to Jake, you needed to inaugurate the pier near the lake where you last barbecued – four days ago – during the night. And that's exactly where you were.

You had eaten enough and sat down on the beach chair they had put there for anyone who wanted one, smiling at Sunghoon who had sat down next to you.

"Would you like one?" he offered a can of beer and you readily accepted, thanking him before opening your can and drinking some of the contents.

Watching your friends laughing and roasting the rest of the meat they had bought, joking with each other, and feeling your chest relax when you saw Hyojin smile. The big reason for this trip was right there, leaning on Jake's shoulder as he laughed at something Sora had said.

"Heeseung told me" Sunghoon snapped you out of your thoughts, making you look at him quickly as you missed the scene where Hyojin was hugging his brother "I felt his anger."

"I don't know who was angrier than Hyojin" you sighed heavily, drinking beer at the same second as Sunghoon, almost as if you were both a reflection of each other.

"He's a piece of shit" the boy muttered "I only met him once when Heeseung took him out to the bar" he chewed his lower lip as he was distracted by the four of them running along the pier, well away from the grill now "It was a bit… Egocentric."

"Disgusting" you added.

Swearing at Seungho was therapeutic for you, and you were grateful to know that Sunghoon shared the same feeling. Well, anyone in their right mind would feel that way because what that idiot had done to your best friend was unimaginable.

"Hey" Jake approached the two of you, picking up a third chair to put on your other side and put you between him and Sunghoon.

"Why did you come here?" the boy asked Jake, seeing that he also had a beer in his hand, and then sighed.

Jake would have answered, but the scene in front of him spoke for itself. Heeseung, Sora, and Hyojin had taken off their shirts and jumped into the lake without warning. He didn't want to risk it as it was getting dark – and he wasn't that brave either – telling the three of them that he would sit down with you and Sunghoon to talk.

"What were you talking about?" he then asked.

"We were cursing Seungho" you said cheerfully, watching Jake smile.

"He's such a asshole!" Jake stretched out, feeling his bones crack in his body after a while. Then he decided to drink some of his beer "I regret holding Heeseung back in college when he wanted to hit him."

"What? Heeseung wanted to hit Seungho?" you were shocked by this information, asking Jake what else the boys were hiding from you.

Talking about college was nostalgic for all the things you all experienced together. They were long years together and every moment counted for a lot and strengthened everything you had built up to that point. This made Sunghoon's mind click, looking at Jake as he finished telling a story he'd experienced with Sora where they'd almost broken up because she hadn't let him skip literature class – it was her favorite subject.

"I know it's none of my business, but can I ask you something?" Sunghoon scratched his head for almost two whole weeks at that. Jake even imagined it, so he stifled a smile as you looked at the boy and nodded slowly, smiling lazily as you felt your mouth start to go numb from the beer.

Jake got up to walk the few steps to the cooler where there were more drinks to grab three more beers for him, you and Sunghoon before turning back quickly, just in time to hear the other ask.

"What did you and Heeseung have in university?"

Your neck could break with the speed at which you turned your head to look at Jake.

"What? I didn't say anything at all" he defended himself, raising his hands after sitting down and opening his drink.

What had happened between you and Heeseung in university? That was a while ago, almost two years to be exact, in the last year. You never thought you'd have to relive that thought, even though it came back to you every time you met him. But you tried very hard not to think about it while the boy was around.

Looking at Sunghoon now, you sighed and paid more attention to the can of beer Jake had handed you as you opened it.

"We kissed once—"

"Several times" Jake interrupted you "For almost a year."

Sunghoon laughed at the astonished look you made, and also because Jake was very airy before he got a load of water on his shorts. You mentally thanked for always having a bottle of water nearby when you drank, and now you didn't mind emptying it on your best friend.

"Shut up."

"Tell Sunghoon the truth, you don't have to lie since there's only the three of us here" Jake wanted to scream because the water was freezing his entire thigh due to the wet fabric in contact with his skin.

You laughed a little, pressing your fingers on the can and then looking at Sunghoon.

"We kissed a few times and… That's it."

There was a little silence, but not much because Jake snorted.

"Can I be honest again? For you?" you rolled your eyes, seeing that sparing details of events wouldn't work very well since your friend would tell you everything himself.

"You don't have to if you two don't want to" Sunghoon laughed, finishing his beer "It's just that he tells me some things, just like I tell him too. And just… He told me about you two in college and I wanted to draw some conclusions."

"Which ones?" you asked.

But there was no answer. His complicit look with Sunghoon indicated that the two of them had already had that conversation, all that was needed were a few answers that they were looking for… But which ones? What were the answers they wanted? Because you had no idea.

Getting involved with Heeseung wasn't something you regretted telling no one about. No, on the contrary. It all happened so suddenly that you didn't know how to say it.

The cliché trope of dating your best friend's brother, getting involved, or falling in love, happened long after you met him. And it was so by chance.

It had been two years since you met Hyojin and, consequently, Heeseung too. You knew he'd had lots of girlfriends, and you'd also had a few affairs here and there, but no one ever insisted on the two of you. Jake didn't joke about it when you all went out together and neither did Hyojin smile mischievously at you or her brother when it was just the two of you at the end of the party to leave, since she went with Seungho and Jake went with Sora.

But one day, after an intense week of tests for you and a troubled break-up with Heeseung, everything came together and contributed to you waking up in his bed. That had been the promise of a single night.

That lasted for months, practically a year of involvement between you and him. But that ended suddenly. Heeseung seemed to be afraid of something and you, worried about what he might feel, decided to give him the space he needed. You were both afraid of breaking up with your group of friends, so getting back to normal was a bit difficult for both of you, but in the last year since you finished college, you and Heeseung had done very well in maintaining a friendship, even if you were now being teased by Hyojin and Jake.

This was something you managed – pretended, to be precise – to avoid at all costs. But it was a big lie when your cheeks got hot or when you smiled awkwardly at anything your friends said. Hiding it may have been easy, but not feeling it was even harder.

"Right" Sunghoon sighed after you told him, with Jake's excited help, about your history with Heeseung "After that I concluded that I was right."

"What did we talk about?" Jake asked, seeing the boy agree with a nod and a victorious smile on his lips.

"Okay, gentlemen conversationalists, what were you talking about? May I ask?"

You might if it weren't for the return of the other three friends, soaking wet and giggling while Heeseung, the most provocative, shook his wet hair over Sunghoon.

"Aren't you going in the water?" Hyojin asked as he looked at you, smiling and almost shaking her chin. You laughed and got up from your chair.

"No, and I think you need to dry off or you'll get sick."

"Sick? I never get sick" Heeseung hugged Sunghoon who had stood up, hearing his friend's shout that he didn't want to get his clothes wet.

You rolled your eyes at him, not caring so much about the two of them teasing as you tried to settle down on the pier as best you could. Trying to forget the conversation you had a few minutes ago, while the reason for it was laughing and joking with Sunghoon, who looked at you now and then with a knowing smile.

Coughing. Tremors and a high fever. That's how Heeseung felt at dawn and throughout the day. He didn't want to get sick on his vacation trip, let alone spoil the outing everyone had planned to the nearby town center, where a spring fair was taking place.

He wanted to go along, getting out of bed a few times and being prevented by his grandmother from leaving. Heeseung could cry with the pain in his body as he sat up in bed after Grandma Lee left the room, giving Sunghoon a way in.

"What's up, man?" he sat on the edge of the bed, pressing his lips together to keep from laughing.

"What? Are you going to make fun of me too?" Heeseung coughed.

"I never get sick" Sunghoon tried to imitate Heeseung's voice, failing and laughing immediately afterwards. The other had nothing to object to.

"Seriously, I don't know what happened. What the fuck?" he whimpered as he threw his head back, the tip of his nose red because he'd lost count of how many times he'd blown.

"You dived into the lake at night, that's what happened," Sunghoon warned.

"I'm going to ruin your outing, aren't I? Fuck!" cursed the boy for a moment.

Sunghoon wanted to say no, maybe they could reschedule the tour for another day when Heeseung was feeling better. Especially since there were still many weeks until the end of their vacation, so everyone could go to the nearby city center afterward for the fair they had arranged. But before Sunghoon could even say anything, Heeseung was getting out of bed. With a lot of effort – and a little bit of crying – he leaned on his friend to stand up.

"Let's go to the living room, I think I can go with you."

Sunghoon rolled his eyes at his friend's stubbornness but wanted to let him walk as far as he could on his own to the living room where the whole group of friends were.

"Heeseung!" Hyojin was surprised when his brother reached the room, struggling to walk while coughing now and then.

"I couldn't keep him in the room" Sunghoon whispered.

"One thing you should learn about him is that he's stubborn as a rock" Sora hummed, receiving a roll of the eyes from Heeseung.

"I don't want you to miss the exit for me. I just—"

He raised his arms to signal something, but he was so weak and off balance that if it weren't for you and your body holding him up, Heeseung might fall. Your arms quickly circled his waist while Heeseung wrapped one of his arms around your shoulder, his face close to yours because of the position he was in.

"Are you okay?" he wasn't at all okay with that closeness, and he knew that the hot sensation on your face was a mixture of the fever and how beautiful you were next to him.

"Okay, how about we go later? Let's stay home and…"

"No way" Heeseung interrupted Jake, looking at him with great effort to look away from you at that moment, "I'll feel guilty if you all miss the tour because of me."

And it was true. Everyone knew that Heeseung wouldn't forgive himself for getting sick and making everyone stay because of him.

"I'll stay" you said without much thought.

"What?" Heeseung was the only one who seemed surprised by your decision because the other four smiled at your answer. Almost as if they had expected it.

"Yeah, I'll stay here with you" your voice was soft, almost a melody to Heeseung. You sat him down on the sofa to straighten his body and turned to his friends "You can all go and… I'll stay with Heeseung."

"Y/n" he called without much strength in his voice, you couldn't hear him. You had heard him, but you preferred to ignore it and focus on your friends and how they made sure they had their phones on and were ready to leave wherever they were and go to you and Heeseung.

It didn't take long for your friends to leave for their late afternoon stroll, which could last into the night and even the early hours of the morning, depending on where they had gone.

You didn't know what had made you stay – maybe you did, you just wanted to fool yourself a bit – so you chose to take care of Heeseung the right way. You went to his room and fetched a blanket, stretched it over your legs, and sat down next to him.

"Do you know what time granny Lee measured your fever?" you asked him, waiting for an answer that came in seconds "All right, I'll set the alarm clock to measure it again in a while" you clicked a few times on your cell phone to set the exact time you should measure the temperature again.

Heeseung picked up the remote control on the coffee table and turned on the television, watching something that might be interesting just so he wouldn't be watching you so much while you leaned back on the sofa.

"Do you want anything?" you asked him, engrossed in the old movie he'd decided to leave on since there wasn't much interesting to watch.

"I do, but will you promise not to fight me if I ask?" your stomach almost rolled over at the thought, and you felt your heart racing.

Heeseung noticed the stiffness in his body, knowing what was going through his head. He was going to ask exactly what you were thinking, but he didn't want to make you uncomfortable and it would be too bold after so long. Maybe the fever was messing with his head too much to think such a thing, so he had to act quickly so as not to get into a weird mood afterward.

"I feel like having some whisky" he whispered, "I haven't had any fever medicine yet, so… Could you get me some? Please?"

"Heeseung" you looked at him, the boy feeling his legs go limp with the intensity of your gaze. That would never change for him.

"Just a little, I promise I'll take the medicine later."

Maybe he would take the medicine after you insisted, or maybe he wouldn't and then you could turn to Hyojin to scold him. Either way, you got up and took the bottle of whisky from Heeseung, leaving it on the coffee table and sitting back down next to him.

This could have yielded a single glass, but he drank three. He measured the temperature – which was still high – and went for the fourth glass, but this time you managed to stop him. You pulled away from him while, under protest, you got up to finish Heeseung's drink.

"What… Did you say… Y/n" he whimpered as he quickly got up, falling onto the sofa and pulling the covers over his face.

Covered to the neck, Heeseung looked like a helpless little animal when you sat down next to him.

"I said one glass" you reprogrammed the clock on your cell phone to wake up for the third time and take your temperature again, hoping it had improved at least a little or you'd have to opt for a cold shower. Since Heeseung was drunk and couldn't take any medicine at the moment.

"It's okay, I exaggerated" he confessed.

I'm glad you know, you thought to yourself and let the television and the program playing play their part. Distracting the two of you while the hour passed.

Or at least it should.

Over time, Heeseung's body relaxed and he slid down the upholstery until he had the side of his thigh pressed against yours. You held your breath for a few seconds at the sudden contact but decided to let it pass since it was the only thing you felt from each other before he adjusted himself to sit up straight.

"Can I ask you something?" his voice was deep, his eyes focused on the crime series that was now on television. Heeseung could see the policemen running off without knowing where because their attention was focused on you sitting next to him.

"You can" you replied, looking at Heeseung's profile and holding back a sigh as you analyzed him. The pointed nose, the plump lips that puckered unconsciously as he thought.

You had already seen it up close and from every possible angle, but it was as if he managed to look even more handsome anyway.

"Have you ever really loved someone?" Heeseung's question made you stand still. If you were standing up or doing anything, you'd surely stop abruptly or drop whatever was in your hand in the same second "I mean really love, not be in a passion. I think they're different things, right?"

He stared at you after asking, and you didn't know you could feel your heart almost bursting out of your mouth with Heeseung's eyes so intensely on you.

"Why are you asking me this?" was the only thing that came out of your mouth without your voice sounding shaky and nervous.

Heeseung smiled awkwardly, looking down at his hands, which had pulled the blanket away from his body and even discarded the fabric on the other side of the sofa.

"Because I once asked Jake how you find out if you love someone" he said, "or what the difference is between infatuation and love. Love, really."

"You're not asking that because of the fight you had with Hyojin that day, are you?" it was your turn to ask, clicking in your mind the last heavy event between the Lee brothers. Hyojin had said something about him never being able to love and now with Heeseung's questions, you were starting to get confused, as well as nervous.

"Maybe" he shrugged, sighing quickly.

"Why? Have you ever really loved someone or did they just say it out of the mouth?"

Heeseung didn't want you to have asked that out loud, because he didn't want all the senses in your body to be like a magnet and for him to have slid down the sofa until he was even more glued to your body.

You don't know how or when the boy in front of you tilted his face towards you until Heeseung's warm breath hit your lips. You also don't know how you stood there, letting him come closer and one of his hands fit perfectly on your cheek.

"I never thought I could really love" he whispered, his warm lips sliding teasingly over yours. You fought fiercely against the urge to rush forward and kiss him, but at the same time you had to hold back as much as you could "I never thought I felt that way until—"

The alarm clock startled you both, causing Heeseung to move away so quickly that he almost threw himself across the sofa.

Recovering, you straightened your hair and clicked your phone so that the alarm would stop immediately. Your heart raced as you got up to get the thermometer and take Heeseung's temperature. He didn't take his eyes off you and remained still, knowing that you would do the same until you had finished checking.

"I think it's gone down" you showed him the numbers, seeing that it was a little better than before.

"Great, so can we pick up where we left off?" he grabbed your hand and pulled you closer to him. You wanted to continue, you wanted to hear more about what he had to say, but again the interruption surrounded you.

And this time by a group of friends who had just arrived from the city center.

The days went by without a hitch, without any uncomfortable interaction or even a tense moment between you and Heeseung. Although his words and gestures remained fresh in your mind, he didn't seem to mind treating you normally in front of his friends and sister.

Or at least that's what he wanted you to think. Because every time he went to the bathroom or walked away, you felt like screaming. Once again Heeseung was cowardly enough not to say anything at all to you. Once again he felt like he was picking up sand with his bare hands when he saw you become distant after that day in the living room of his grandmother's house.

Talking to Jake about his feelings and to Sunghoon about doing the right thing only made him feel even more stupid because he did everything the other way around. It wasn't possible that for his friends it was so simple and with him… It just didn't work.

Heeseung wanted to call you for a real talk, to look you in the eye once more and be able to say what he should have said over a year ago before deciding to walk away out of fear. You would laugh in his face and call him a coward just like Jake did. All right, his best friend had done it to lighten the mood after an almost two-hour lecture on how Heeseung hadn't understood any of the signs of feelings.

Clear signs that he really was in love, finally, with the first person in his life.

A long sigh leaves Heeseung's lips as he looks at the scene in front of him. Back on the pier in front of the lake, he preferred to sit on the beach chair and watch from afar. He couldn't help but notice how close Hyojin had become to Sunghoon over the last few days; perhaps it was the conversation or even something else. Neither of them had said anything, but he wasn't going to interfere either, after all, she was an adult and was going through a bad time. Sunghoon could help her in ways that neither he nor Jake could.

And speaking of Jake, he and Sora were frustrated with the attempts at a knitting class you were giving them. The only boy in that class cursed to the heavens when he missed a stitch and Sora undid everything to start again. But Heeseung's attention was on your laughter. How nice it was to hear it every time you tried to comfort them, saying that you'd been through it all years ago when Grandma Lee taught you to knit.

Heeseung remembers. Every little detail of that day and how he sat next to you to learn too. Or to be near you because the other four had gone out in couples and he didn't want to be the only one watching.

You were calm, you were good with the needle and the stitches Grandma was giving you.

"What design do you want me to knit?" you asked him after a few days, learning the basics and doing small things.

"Hm…" Heeseung seemed to think for a moment, looking ahead and focusing on how Jake was desperately shouting for Hyojin to help him down from the tree. He laughed a little along with you before returning his attention to the previous conversation. Heeseung bit his lip as he stared at you, a smile playing on his face as he thought desperately that he could kiss you at that very moment "How about a heart?"

"You want me to knit you a heart? That's fine" and it was then that you practice on the small knitting square was all done in hearts. At Heeseung's request.

He wouldn't tell you that he'd kept the first one you made in his closet drawer, even though Jake had already seen it and Sunghoon too, the last time they got drunk and he told you everything he felt.

"I don't think it's fair, you learned all this stuff in, I don't know… how long?" Jake was angry with himself for not being able to get a single point right.

"Less than a month" Heeseung let slip, not caring about the surprised looks coming from you and Sora "She knitted some hearts and granny was so proud because neither Hyojin nor I could learn. While y/n did it in such a short time."

Now Jake was surprised by the whole thing. Not with the heart information because he had already seen it, but at how it had all come out so casually from Heeseung's lips.

He remembered so many details that if he told them out loud, it might complicate things. Or not, because then you'd know he'd never forgotten.

"I'm so good now that I can knit a cap, for example" you shrugged as you got up from the pier floor, walking in the direction Heeseung was now with Jake. Sora had gone inside to get a coat.

"Do you have black lines?" Heeseung asked.

You looked for a while at some scraps you had in your hands, but none of them were black threads. Then, smiling awkwardly, you denied it.

"When we get back I can buy some and you can make one for me?"

"Sure" you smiled so beautifully that he clutched the arms of his chair tightly to stop himself from getting up and grabbing you right there.

"Dude, be less obvious" Jake said after you had followed the same path as Sora into the house, probably putting away your knitting things since you didn't need to leave everything there anymore.

"With what?" Heeseung asked.

"I don't know, with all this longing for y/n" he shrugged and then relaxed "If you haven't said anything about how you feel, I guess you could try going slowly."

Heeseung remained quiet, watching as Sunghoon's arm circled Hyojin's shoulders and she snuggled close to him.

"All this time you've been giving me advice and I just can't follow it" he laughed humorlessly, his fingers softening on the arms of the chair and his whole body relaxed against the backrest. Heeseung closed his eyes.

"Because you're a jerk and you're afraid of what you might hear from her" Jake mirrored his friend's actions, laying his head on the back of the chair and closing his eyes "I'll never get tired of repeating that" he whispered, opening one of his eyes to see if either of you were coming back from the house. Taking advantage of the fact that they weren't, he continued: "I almost peed my pants when I confessed my feelings for Sora. My heart raced so fast I thought I was going to have a heart attack."

And that really was it. Jake told that story and wasn't ashamed if it meant he could help Heeseung with how he felt about you. Sometimes he knew that he felt the same way about Jake just by being in his presence, but it seemed as if the words were disappearing from his mouth.

"So she said she felt the same way and look where we are now."

"You're both beautiful, dude" Heeseung said sincerely, he loved his friends.

"And you and y/n too" he said back "I love you both and together with Hyojin I hope every day that this will be resolved soon" Jake straightened up in his chair and turned his face towards his friend, biting his lower lip to suppress a smile "You just have to take the initiative and make it work. You won't lose another year for fear of what might happen."

Lose another year. Heeseung didn't want it to be that long, he didn't think he could bear to be around you for another year without doing anything. Especially after what happened in the living room of his grandmother's house during the vacations.

He had to do something.

Getting back into the routine of work wasn't so bad, even with the day-to-day rush and even some unforeseen events in the sectors where they worked. It wasn't out of the ordinary and was soon resolved.

You were happy when you started seeing Sunghoon more often when he showed up at your apartment saying he wanted to take Hyojin out for coffee. Or even calling you for dinner somewhere because he didn't want to go home yet.

Sunghoon called you a few times too, but you knew it was only out of cordiality and you politely declined invitations to stay in the comfort of your apartment. Texting Jake and telling him about the – again – casual meeting they were having.

Hyojin deserved to be well somehow. And even if it was casual, it was going into the second month in the blink of an eye. Now she was able to show Sunghoon a little more affection in front of her friends and brother, hugging him from behind when he was sitting at the dinner table. Or letting him kiss her forehead in an act of affection when they were standing in line at the amusement park waiting for their ride.

Sora and Heeseung thought it was so cute the way the two of them were treating each other. You and Jake, on the other hand, liked to make fun of her because you heard Hyojin whining that she would never allow herself to sigh for another man. But it turned out that Sunghoon was another man and he was taking very good care of her.

Given the clichéd circumstances, Heeseung sat face to face with Sunghoon one day, listing all the atrocities he would do to his friend if he hurt his sister's heart which was still being mended.

Sunghoon, for the first time, spoke with conviction that he wouldn't do any of those things. Without mentioning the word casual or saying that they were just friends. Sunghoon agreed with everything Heeseung was saying and thanked him for his trust because he knew that, if his friend didn't do such an atrocity, he still had Jake and you to complete the job. Along with Sora who could very well devise an evil plan because he knew what she was capable of.

"She wouldn't do that, would she?" Sunghoon asked the two boys one day when they were all sitting around the dining table in their apartment because Hyojin had decided to cook. She had gone to the bathroom and Sora went over a plan in which she would pluck out every strand of his hair, depending on his mood; with a machine or tweezers.

Heeseung and Jake laughed nervously, denying it immediately.

"It would, and I think it would help in the process" you smiled at him, seeing him wince and try to say something.

But you all knew that Sunghoon wouldn't do anything to harm Hyojin because he started to like her. It was all so natural that the next thing he knew, he was confessing his feelings after four months of being together and she – for all his happiness – was feeling safe to say the same.

Hyojin was still afraid of what had happened to her, but after talking for hours with Heeseung – he ended up confessing how felt about you too – it led to a long time of crying, a huge apology and she encouraging him to talk to you. Then he encouraged she to give herself to Sunghoon little by little and if she was afraid, she could go back.

And that's what she was doing, gradually letting go as the relationship stabilized.

"I think I'm having a dejavú" Hyojin sighed as she filled wine glass, handing it to you and then filling hers too.

"Really? Why?" you drank a little, feeling the bitter taste of the dry wine run down your tongue. You used to prefer mellow, but today it was your best friend who chose it.

"The two of us, glasses of wine, here in the kitchen" she looked around and so did you, laughing as you remembered the six bottles you'd bought last time "Now we're here and I'm happy to be drinking."

"And I want it to always be like this" you confessed.

The smile on your face only showed that you were telling the truth. Not only you, but all your friends wanted Hyojin to be feeling well.

"Oh, it's Sunghoon" she said to you when her cell phone started ringing, asking for a moment before she could answer it. Talking to him for a while, you didn't even pay much attention to the conversation, too focused on your glass and how much the bitterness of the wine was starting to taste.

You even poured a little more and started drinking again.

"So?" you asked when she hung up.

"He and the boys want to go out clubbing" Hyojin drank all of her wine, refilling her glass "They asked us to come along."

"Now?" Hyojin nodded in agreement before going back to drinking.

"I'll stay here if you don't want to go" she shrugged quickly.

You had no business going out, especially since you were starting to get hot from the wine. It would even be more fun to be with the boys, although you also loved Hyojin's company – so much so that you lived together – but with more people, it would always be nice.

So you didn't have long to think about whether or not to go, finish off the bottle of dry wine, and run to your rooms to change.

In record time you and Hyojin were at the door of the nightclub and met Sora waving in the queue, running up to her so that she could hug you both at once.

"Are they inside?" Hyojin asked.

"Yes, I was saving a place for you two in the queue" she smiled, keeping her arm around you while Hyojin touched up her lipstick "They arrived not even twenty minutes ago."

The music was muffled outside, but as soon as you entered, the loudness of the speakers gave you the sensation that every organ in your body was vibrating.

Hyojin exchanged a message with Jake to see where they were and could find them without too much effort. The boy soon replied to the location and the three of you went to meet them.

Sliding past dancing bodies, drunk people, and false advances that Sora was expert at deflecting, either by being very direct and saying no thank you or simply pushing the inconvenient person who was trying at all costs to get into the pants of one of the three of you.

"We're here" Sunghoon waved from the table near the bar where only he and Jake were standing. You didn't even realize it when you approached them.

You and Sora greeted Sunghoon first and you quickly went to hug Jake, so they could greet their girlfriends with more delay than they wanted. Jake and Sora were already a common sight for all of you, but seeing Hyojin kiss Sunghoon right in front of your eyes was something new. Cute, and it couldn't go unnoticed.

You and Jake made fake vomiting noises while you could see Sunghoon's smile against Hyojin's lips before he stopped kissing you.

"You two are horrible" Sora tapped Jake on the shoulder to scold him, then glared at you.

It was then that they realized Heeseung was missing. If the boys had called everyone together, he would have been there. And indeed he was.

But your eyes couldn't believe that his hand was holding a woman's waist while she whispered something in his ear.

Your bile could be felt from your throat and you swore that the dizziness you felt could well have been from the wine earlier, but no. Why did you have to feel this way just now? Just at this moment. You've been out with your friends so many times and Heeseung was there, why did it have to be like this?

The only one to notice your discomfort was Jake, because the others got into such a lively conversation that they didn't even notice you standing there and looking in the direction your best friend was looking. He came closer, slipping one of his arms around yours to entwine them.

"It's not that, y/n" he said.

"I'm seeing it with my own eyes" you said back, pressing your lips together as Jake started to lead you towards the bar.

But before you could get there, Heeseung broke away from the girl and turned around so quickly that he almost crashed into you and Jake.

"Y/n" he ignored his friend's presence completely.

Jake took that warning as a cue to let go of your arm and get drinks, leaving the two of you standing there. He handed you a glass and left with two others, probably for Sora and Hyojin, you didn't even remember if he'd said anything before returning to the table.

Heeseung's eyes were on you the whole time, not saying a word as he alternated between looking at you and your mouth.

"I dismissed her" he said after a while, a little too loudly because of the music playing, afraid that you wouldn't hear him.

You didn't know why he had said it and you didn't know why it had, in a way, relieved your racing heart.

"You…"

"Hand around the waist? Whisper in the ear?" he ran one hand through his hair, easily messing up the strands that were beginning to grow "I held her because she almost fell, and she was whispering about how faithful I was to my girlfriend. That she admired that because she couldn't find a guy like that."

"Your girlfriend?" you frowned and felt like an idiot grimacing because the laugh Heeseung let out at that moment just made you want to disappear.

You had shown jealousy indirectly, and yet he had noticed.

The boy then approached you, took the glass from your hand, and drank some of the drink Jake had chosen for you. He then leaned close enough to brush his lips against yours, which were so cold from the drink that you almost moaned at the contact.

"Not officially yet" he said, sliding his mouth down to kiss the corner of your lips.

Before you could say anything else, Heeseung grabbed your free hand to pull you back to the table. Heading back to his friends to enjoy the rest of the evening.

Heeseung was determined. He couldn't wait any longer to tell you everything he felt for you. The day at the nightclub had made it clear that, at the very least, you felt something for him.

Attraction, passion, love. He didn't know. But there was something inside you that screamed his name somehow, and Heeseung wanted to find out.

Encouraged by Jake and Sunghoon, he finally rushed out of the house. As he stopped by the store to buy the pretext for that conversation, he sent a message to Hyojin.

I'm going out with Sunghoon, the apartment is all yours… Except my room! He laughed as he passed the cashier and paid for everything before getting in his car and driving to where you lived.

This should have happened a while ago, he couldn't have waited that long because the fear was still eating away at him. What if you could have cooled your feelings for him and confused everything? Maybe Heeseung had misunderstood and you only had a little empathy for him. Would empathy be right? Would empathy let him almost kiss you, touch your face, and brush his lips against yours?

No, Heeseung. He didn't want to sabotage himself so soon before he was standing in front of your apartment door.

His trembling fingers rang the doorbell and balanced the bag he was carrying.

Your footsteps could be heard from inside the apartment, followed by I'm coming, which you answered, probably putting something away or straightening up before opening the door.

Heeseung didn't hold back a loud sigh when he saw you. You looked beautiful. Even wearing sweatpants and a blue tank top that he remembered well – the tank top of the friendship between you and Hyojin. It was the color you two shared, by the way.

"Heeseung?" you were surprised to see him, but you still made way for him to enter.

"I thought… Well…" he took a deep breath, thinking about Jake's words.

Try it, man. Say everything you feel.

And then the little lecture Sunghoon gave him two days ago.

If you don't, you'll never know how she feels. And worse, you'll live with the ghost of a relationship that could be working just because you're afraid to acknowledge that, finally, you know what love is.

"I thought you could knit my cap now" he held up the bag, pulling out the black threads he had said a long time ago "Would you mind?"

Your broad smile indicated that, of course, you would never mind doing this for him.

"You've come at a good time, by the way" Heeseung sat down on the sofa while you picked up the bag to look at the things he had brought. Your smile still lingered as he remembered all the sewing details he could buy, even the support – which you had – to put on your thumb so it wouldn't hurt while knitting.

"Have I arrived? Why?" he asked, turning to you as you sat down next to him on the sofa.

"I ordered food" it was Heeseung's turn to smile broadly "Hyojin's out and I didn't want to cook, so I guess I ordered too much. Or enough for both of us."

For both of us. Referring to Heeseung as a collective together with you made his heart race in such a silly way that he swore he was shaking a little. Then he sighed, nodding in agreement when you told him to wait.

Would go upstairs to get your needles and whatever else was missing, which he hadn't remembered to buy so that you could start sewing the knitted cap.

He didn't want to get in the way of your sewing, so he was in charge of doing everything while you started.

It was Heeseung who went downstairs to get the food when you arrived. He was the one who set up the coffee table in the living room with all the utensils for the two of you to eat and he was the one who washed the dishes and got two bottles of beer from the fridge for the two of you to drink after eating.

His eyes met yours a few times while you stopped knitting, paying attention to the movie in front of you or what he had said about something from the day. It wasn't insignificant, but Heeseung couldn't think of much to tell you.

He wanted to talk about how his day at work had gone, but mostly he lamented how he felt like a coward and how Sunghoon cursed at him until it was time to leave. With Jake then? He couldn't tell you that he almost got beaten up by his best friend because Heeseung said he'd give up, let you live in peace, and wouldn't go after you to make you suffer.

So he only told you superficially, how it had been at work, how he almost broke the diffuser he'd won from Sora for a bet they'd made – he'd gotten sick eating four snacks in a row – and how he needed a cap. Heeseung could buy anyone at the store, but having an initial reason to come to your apartment and talk to you seemed more convincing in his mind than simply picking up any ready-made cap.

Not to mention that it would have a whole feeling because it had been made by you. By your hands. The hands he kept looking at while traced stitches and knots, wound the thread, and held the wooden knitting needle tightly.

"Is it okay if it's not ready today?" you asked, catching Heeseung off guard by hearing your voice so suddenly. He knew you had caught him staring at your hands, so all he could do was swallow and go back to watching the TV.

"Yeah" he replied briefly, letting all the air out of his lungs before saying, "Because I came to talk to you, the cap was just a pretext."

You didn't have to be a good reader to know that you had stopped all your sewing to look at him at that moment. Heeseung didn't want to move at all, let alone look at you while he heard his name called a few times.

What do you mean by a pretext? Was he just going to say that and be quiet, without answering any calls of his name?

You got tired of calling his name for the fourth time and decided to get up, dropping the needles and everything else you were holding, deciding to get another drink or anything that would keep you focused other than on the man who was ignoring you.

"Go Heeseung, you can do it" he said to himself as he punched the sofa cushions uselessly before getting up "Jake did it, Sunghoon is doing it… It's your turn!" he uttered those words as he walked to the kitchen in the slowest steps he had ever taken in his life.

Not even a boring college class could make him walk as slowly as he did. Heeseung felt pathetic for that.

Leaning against the doorframe, he could observe you a little more closely. Your fingertips played through your hair while the freshly opened bottle of beer sat on the kitchen counter. You tidied up the strands, loosening them and letting them cascade down your shoulders and back. You now held the beer bottle to your lips and took a long sip, as if it would help you relax while you finished swallowing and turned away.

"Fuck, Heeseung" he laughed, disentangling yourself from the doorframe to take a few slow steps toward him.

He didn't approach slowly, but close enough to get to you.

"I'm sorry, I—" he took a deep breath, alternating his gaze between your lips and your eyes. This didn't go unnoticed by you, but you decided not to say anything and just let him finish speaking "I just want to talk to you and I don't know where to start."

You laughed humorlessly, picking up the beer bottle again and taking another sip.

"How about the beginning?" the lazy smile, the shrug, and the lips pink from the pressure of the bottle made Heeseung sigh. It was now or never.

Then he came close enough to use one hand to grab your waist, pulling you towards him. The other went quite freely to the bottle you were holding so that he could drink, finishing off the contents in just three sips.

It wasn't a time for protest, but he knew you'd swear at him if you had the chance.

With a remnant of courage and his hand still on your waist, Heeseung used what strength he had to pick you up and sit you on the kitchen worktop, being able to stand between your legs and at the perfect height to lean over and get his face close to yours.

"Okay, we started in our last year of university, then" he said, this time staring into your eyes as he began to explain himself.

Heeseung had his first girlfriend when he was fifteen. An elementary school girl he met through some friends and suddenly they were together. Everything was going so well in their relationship until the girl told him she loved him. He could have said it back or even said it wasn't the time to say it back, but instead, Heeseung laughed. He didn't know if it was out of nervousness or because he found it bizarre that one person loved another like that, but he laughed. And that was the first time someone had broken up with him like that.

During high school, he also had other relationships. The brief ones couldn't be counted because there was no intense feeling, but the girls he spent a good few months with could all be considered to have ended the same way.

"I love you, Heeseung" they would say, their gaze not lying. A glow so intense and beautiful, Heeseung was envious because he felt that they all loved him.

"I… I'm sorry" was one of the answers he gave, if he could. Because silence often resulted in a slap or relentless tears that he couldn't get them to stop.

In university, his biggest disappointment was a few months before he had a relationship with you. Heeseung seemed to like his girlfriend, because he introduced her to everyone. Even you knew her, letting the girl join you for lunch a few times just because she wanted to be close to Hyojin.

Heeseung looked smitten in the eyes of all of you, telling you how much he liked her and how special she was. But as soon as those three words came out of his mouth, he froze.

It wasn't possible that a simple I love you could send Heeseung into a panic. This time he was sensible enough to talk to her and tell her that he didn't feel the same way.

At least she didn't slap you, he remembers Sora saying when he was crying in Jake's apartment, a week before he went to that party.

Maybe love wasn't for him and that was okay. All was not lost because Heeseung had managed to live well up to that point and he couldn't let it ruin his last year of university and, consequently, his future. So he decided that he would have fun, be with his friends, and not care about anything until he had to.

Waking up with you in his bed had been a shock because the two of you had known each other since the early days. You were Hyojin's best friend, you always treated him well and you respected Heeseung just as he respected you all the time. Perhaps circumstances led you both to do it and the relief that came when neither of you regretted it was indescribable. Then it happened again. Again and again it became so frequent that the two of you began to relate to each other beyond partying and drinking.

More often than not, you'd wake up in Heeseung's bed and he'd stay at your university apartment for a few days to sleep with you or just hang out.

You two are dating indirectly, Hyojin joked, which neither you nor he denied. So it went on until Heeseung felt strange. He felt an absurd need to be with you, his heart would race just to see you or feel you.

Of course, this was normal when you liked someone, Heeseung had already felt something like this… Hadn't he? No! He'd never felt it at that intensity.

"Jake, I need help" he punched the door to his best friend's room, grateful enough that it was open and he was alone, otherwise it would have been bad to ask Sora to leave because he needed to cry a little in Jake's bed.

"What happened?" the boy asked laughingly, but then began to worry because Heeseung seemed to be short of breath "Shit, dude. Breathe with me, okay?" he shook Heeseung with a notebook that was on his computer desk.

He seemed to be hyperventilating as he tried to breathe, counting in and out as Jake accompanied him. After a while he managed to calm down, sitting down on Jake's bed and watching his friend pick up the gaming chair to sit in front of him, the subject began.

"How do I feel when I love someone?" he asked.

"Heeseung" Jake said "Aren't you confusing feeling with passion again? I told you they're different things—"

"No bro, it's serious" Heeseung's eyes were already watering, not believing what was finally coming out of his mouth "How do I know that what I feel for y/n is love? Because I'm scared…"

Jake smiled broadly, explaining it to him in the next second.

Neurochemically, the brain reacts to the action by changing certain neurotransmitters. We then have an increase in dopamine, as well as rising levels of endorphin and oxytocin, the hormone of love, which increases feelings of attachment, well-being, and security.

Heeseung looked at Jake adoringly, listening to him explain everything he wanted to understand. It was as if he were at a consult with doctor Jake Sim.

There are also some signs, not neurochemically speaking, but which say a lot about how you found love. For example, you both feel comfortable even when you're silent. You make her feel good, in every way. And she does the same with you. You both feel free to be who you are, without fear of judgment or any bad thoughts. You always see her as one of your priorities or she does the same for you. You both admire each other. There's no room for jealousy – at this point, Heeseung sniffled a little – you don't think about what your old relationships were like either. And, most importantly.

That pause made Heeseung freeze, Jake's smile never leaving his face as he slid the gaming chair until he was kneeling next to Heeseung.

"It's the first time you've felt like this."

He knew it was. He knew that, for the first time, he felt like he loved someone.

Because everything happened so naturally. The casual way you treated him, the way you took care of him even though you didn't need to, and how you understood how he felt. It was strange that you cared so much about him like that, or took care of him down to the smallest detail.

Heeseung couldn't tell Jake how it happened when the exact moment was that he started to love you. If it was because you listened to everything he had to say and, even though you didn't understand, you smiled and asked him. You asked him to explain and took an interest in subjects that Heeseung swore no one liked to hear him talk about.

Or he fell in love because you had the best kiss, the best touch, the best sex, the best connection that anyone had with him.

Heeseung didn't know. He could have fallen in love with you when he laid his head on your shoulder in the college library, feeling you stroke his hair while you finished an extremely boring report. But still taking the time to cuddle him without any shame when Sora and Hyojin were sitting right in front of you. Or when you fought with Hyojin not to eat the ramen you'd bought, but as soon as he arrived saying he was hungry, it was the first thing you cooked for him.

Heeseung simply didn't know. It had just happened and he was sure of it.

"So that time I got weird and we drifted apart, it was because I got scared" he played with his fingers on your sweatshirt-covered thigh. You listened intently as you gazed into his eyes, too inviting to look away "I didn't know how to act and I thought it would be better to get away because if I found out what I felt, I didn't want to know if you didn't feel the same or not."

"Why?" he heard your voice for the first time since he started talking.

"Because then I'd be feeling everything those girls felt when they confessed that they loved me, and I know how much that must have hurt" Heeseung pressed his lips together, a little nervously as he lowered his gaze to your mouth, looking into your eyes again "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

"For loving me?" you asked.

He denied it quickly, smiling simply as he rested his hands on the bench next to you.

"For running away. For being afraid and being a coward who couldn't bear the weight of loving someone for the first time."

As he spoke, you just nodded at every word he heard. Heeseung started to get even more nervous because nothing came out of your mouth apart from the questions he had asked and that could be interpreted as something negative. At least he had gotten everything out in the open and explained it in time.

"Can you say something? Even if it's to curse me, please" the plea was so cute that you laughed. The same action he did when someone confessed to loving him for the first time. Heeseung was almost peeing his pants like Jake when he talked to Sora, so he was really on the right track, he just needed to control himself a little.

"So can I curse you for taking so long?"

"You can" he said too quickly, mentally cursing himself for it because he sounded so desperate to hear your laugh again.

You didn't want to curse him, in fact, just watch how cute he was when he was nervous. But that would be too much torture and the pout he was making was already too kissable right in front of you.

Raising one hand to find his cheek, smoothing the skin with your thumb, you leaned in close enough to touch your lips to his. Heeseung whimpered in surprise at finally feeling that touch he had been longing for.

His hands grabbed your waist and pulled you tightly against his body at the same moment that the passage was given way and the two of you could intertwine your tongues.

The kiss, although full of longing, contained a slowness and sensuality that only the kiss shared with Heeseung could have. It was as if you were kissing him for the first time and all the flashbacks of all the kisses they had shared were running through your mind and him.

"Y/n…" he whispered against your lips after a while to catch his breath, his hands still on your waist while yours played with your hair and slid down to the nape of your neck.

"Yes?" you whispered back, feeling him brush his red, moist lips against yours once more.

"I love you" that phrase said for the first time to the person he was so sure of his feelings for. He just hadn't counted on it being in the kitchen of your house, of course, but the place was the least of it. As long as you were the one who heard it while he finished kissing you, everything made sense to him.

"Say it again, please" you asked.

Heeseung moved one of his hands up to the back of your neck, sliding his fingertips up to grab a good amount of your hair as gently as he could. He guided you so that he could kiss you again, this time with more intensity and urgency, pressing his lips and tongue together.

That way you knew he wanted to say everything at once. That he loved you, that he missed you, and that he wanted to apologize for the lost time. And you accepted it all because you were there with him.

"I love you, y/n" he said against your lips, panting and smiling as he slid his mouth over yours. "I love you so much" he kissed your skin, making your whole body shiver.

"I love you, Heeseung" you also whispered, feeling him squeeze the hand that remained around your waist and pressing you even tighter against him as if he wanted to merge your bodies into one.

Heeseung brought his face close to yours again, leaning his forehead against yours and smiling.

"You…"

"I love you" you repeated "I really love you."

"Then stay with me" Heeseung kissed your lips "To make up for how stupid I was to let you get away, I don't want it to happen again."

"You were an stupid" he murmured and you laughed against his mouth, watching him pull away enough to look at you. "But I'd be even more of an stupid to deny it."

"So we're together?" he almost shouted with happiness when you agreed, picking you up off the worktop and walking with you through the apartment to your bedroom.

"Yes, we are."

"And we're going to stay that way" he put you down as soon as he entered your room, looking you up and down and licking his lips at the sight "Because I love you and I want to remind you of that every day."

You were sure he would; with words, attitudes, anything that made you feel loved. And of course, you would do the same for him. Because you loved Lee Heeseung, just as he loved you.

© ikeuverse, 2023. do not copy, translate or steal my stories.

kinktober day 5 — soft!dom + daddy kink

nsfw content minors dni.

pairing fwb!heeseung x afab!reader

warnings drinking, fingering, semi-nudity, profanity, daddy kink, petnames, sexual harassment (nothing to the extreme jus touch without consent), semi-public setting, not proofread!

word count 1.2k+

kinktober masterlist — here

you did not expect your night to turn into this.

you were at the club, with your friends. drinking your feelings away, your friends letting you rant out to them about how frustrating heeseung was lately.

heeseung is your best friend. who you just sometimes happen to kiss and make out with, leading to some awesome sex that raises your dopamine levels to the brim.

after you gave a suck the night before, his mood completely changed. He didn't even give you pleasure, just simply dressing himself before leaving your apartment. You call and text him multiple time just to be left on voicemail and delivered.

Now, you're high on your ass. Desperately needing some kind of relief. Your fingers weren't enough, all you can think abt was heeseung and his ways that make you clench mercilessly.

You drunkenly slurred to your friends saying you needed a stronger drink and before they could've stopped your, your were already on your way to the bar counter.

"The most strongest drink that you have, and I want it fast." You hiss, vision a little blurry, feeling a little light on your feet.

When your receive your drink, you smile and a deep and husky voice states behind you, "her drink's on me."

"Oh why th- thank you!" You cheer, and he looks at you up and down before biting his lower lip, hand placing dangerously closer to your ass. You try to wiggle out of his grip but he was much stronger. You whimper when he squeezes the flesh and suddenly his face is too close to yours. You ask him to let you go but he simply chuckles, "I can't do that babygirl. I'm going to take you to my house and-"

His words get cut with his screams. His wrist that was touching your waist was now slammed onto the counter table with a vieny hand all too familiar to you. You look at it's owner, heeseung, whose eyes somehow show the emotion red.

"If I see you near my girl one more time, then you're dead. Got it?" He taunts, the sketchy man who touched nodded fervently wanting to get away as soon as possible. Heeseung throws him onto the floor and looks at you, "are you okay?"

You don't even get the chance to answer because he grabs your wrist, pulling you and taking to the club's parking lot. You get near his car and that's when you realise to stay mad at him but still that doesn't stop you from showing gratitude.

"Thank you for saving me Heeseung." You couldn't look at his face, eyes darting everywhere around the scene except his face.

"What were you thinking? What if something to you if I hadn't been there?" He accuses in a grumpy voice, he looks pissed off, and you can't help but feel angry for thinking he can get his way after how bad he hurt you.

"Why the fuck do you care?" Your words has him taken aback, eyes looking straight into yours. "How can you just pretend like you didn't hurt me that night. I get we are not a real deal. but, when you walked away making me think that you don't even care about me, hurt." Tears are forming in the inner corner of your eyes as you look at him.

He takes a step closer to you and you take one back, unexpectedly getting trapped between him and the car. His face comes dangerously close to yours and your breathing quickens. "I'm sorry for hurting you, angel. I wasn't intending to."

You can't make out any words after that because heeseung latches his lips onto the expanse of your neck. You softly gasp at the contact, your neck instinctively stretching to give him more area to throw kisses on.

"Heeseung wha- what are you doing?" You clutch at his shoulders as he begins to devour your neck. His lips kiss and suck and lick at every possible place that you leaves you feeling divine. His hand has a grip on your hip while his other one trails downward slowly from your face to where you need him the most.

"Trying to make things right babygirl." He rasps as he pulls away to watch your face, when he sees that you aren't doing or saying anything to oppose, he continues to make you feel good. So good.

"ohmygod hee!" your fingers get tangled at his locks. His right hand seeps past the hem of your underwear through under your skirt. His left holding onto the car for support so he doesn't press onto you too much. He silently smirks to himself how you probably would've worn a skirt for easy access for him and only him. And maybe, that's actually true.

His fingers immediately find your bundle of nerve as if it's his second nature and starts rubbing circles. The littlest movement of his hand, the way he is littering love bites all over your chest that's exposed through your tight top sends you in a frenzy.

He slowly and gently pushes his middle finger inside you, "fuck, love. You're so wet. all for me yeah?" he smirks as he looks into your eyes that are currently in a haze with the ecstasy you are feeling right now.

"mhmm all for you hee. ." you manage to let out along with a few strings of moans when he fastens the speed. you clutch at his shoulders and he starts growing hungry for more. He pushes your top all the way up to your collarbones and litters more love struck kisses all over your pretty boobs.

He can never get enough of your boobs.

the high of your pleasure heightens as your loud sighs and moans fill the air surrounding you both, the cool breeze making more goosebumps arise. "mmm fuck daddy!"

your eyes go wide just like his, his hand had stopped its movement momentarily before his shocked expression morphs back into one filled with lust.

that was the first you ever called him that.

and he thinks he just came in his pants.

something clicks in him. he acquires this overwhelming urge to just take power over you. to dominate you.

he pins you hands behind your back before his fingers are back inside you, teasing. his other hands holding you back against the car.

"call me that again babygirl. call me that every single time we fuck. understood?" the look in his eyes lowkey terrifies you. but, you love it.

you nods gently at him with a smile and he unexpectedly moves his digits inside you at a faster and harder manner. he wants you to come so hard you'll be screaming 'daddy' at the top of your lungs.

soon the knot in your stomach releases and your walls spasm against his fingers as he stops. he brings his fingers into his mouth and licks it clean, while maintaining eye contact, making you wet all over again.

"fuck daddy! that was so good." you bite your lip.

he gently pulls you aside not before giving you a fat wet kiss on your mouth in which you taste yourself, he open the passenger car door to you, hand out to gesture you get in.

before you can get in, he pulls you towards him, his lips nearing your pierced ear, and whispers in a cocky tone. "you're in for a long ride with your daddy babygirl."

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new series yasssss

RICH PEOPLE PROBLEMS | 01 - box dye blonde

SYNOPSIS: ♛ Heeseung had everything he wanted at the tips of his fingers, surrounding himself with friends that lived the life he had. When you came back in town, Heeseung’s perfect image suddenly got harder to maintain. What will he do when someone finds out who you are and where you come from?

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TAGLIST [1]: @dxlicateee @nishmrriki @luvrjn @hobistigma @gongiz @kyleeanne @missmadwoman @shysakuno @jaeyunify @jaylaxies @candidupped @icywhatim @kac-chowsballs @mykalon @ja4hyvn @hooneam @hooniesoul @todorokiskitten @jayk2025 @msxflower @tsukypoetic @rutowonz @soobin-chois @acciomylove @svnoofy @woniecf @saucytaehyung @enhacolor @ethereal-engene @sunoo-bby @amakumos @j4kesworld @nomy0520 @xuximooncake @beomsun @jaeyunverse @shuichi-sama @rosie-is-everywhere @person-standing @koakyuu @sunbokie @primorange @aerastus @angelwonie @exatse @lhsng @ddeonubaby @bakubae000 @treasuretaeil @doublesung

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so cute!!!

delicate

pairing: lee heeseung x f!reader

word count: 15.6k

genre: fluff﹒angst

warnings: mature language, non-idol!au, high school!au, brothers best friend trope, reader is jay’s sister, ft. best friends jungwon and sunoo, jakehoon also make a couple appearances, shitty parents, insecurities, idiots to lovers also tbh, fake dating ? with wonie ?, heeseung being dumb and not using his context clues, underage drinking, allusions to sexual acts but nothing happens bc it just didn’t feel right with this fic, stayc sieun and sumin also make (1) appearance, isa too? but i use her government name, BEST BOY JUNGWON!!!, let me know if i missed anything :)

summary: everyone always held you to these high, stellar expectations, so when you start to fall short of them, you panic. out of fear of being exposed for half-assing your way through life, you ask lee heeseung, your older brother jay’s best friend, for help. you’d never really batted an eye in heeseung’s direction, but suddenly you’re forced to see him in a new light. and it changes everything.

more: good lord i don’t even know where to start. i began writing this back in february 2022, when i was first starting out on this blog and it’s insane how far i’ve come since then. there was a lot of trial and error and a LOT of waning out original ideas i had from the initial plot outline i made back then. (it started out as an nsfw idea and turned out completely different and way too wholesome for my brain to comprehend.) u can see the way my writing style changes throughout the fic, too. i think so sick really helped in a way bc i spent so much time talking, writing, and understanding heeseung— so that’s something that’s also noticeable i fear. this is the most i’ve ever written in my whole 9??? years of writing fanfiction and i’m so unbelievably proud of myself for pushing through despite losing motivation so many times in the process. i hope u all cherish and enjoy this fic as much as i do <3 also thanks @lvandrmoon for helping / betaing !

Keep reading

11:11 forget me not

07 *kombucha girl* moment

07 *kombucha girl* moment

Summary: A cliche story of a long-term friendship turns into one-sided love, but what happens to your friendship with Lee Heeseung when a mysterious twitter account encourages you to change everything?

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Taglist: [open! please ask to join!💖] @bubblytaetae @iloveoceaneyesss @woneulz @jungwon-kitten @georgi-salva @judeduartewannabe @harperwasstaken1

𝙱ℯ𝓎ℴ𝓃𝒹 ᴛʜᴇ ʙʀᴀᴋᴇ 彡 lhs

𝚜ʏɴᴏᴘsɪs : after running away from your ex boyfriend who wasn’t faithful, you search for comfort through your best friend; lee heeseung.

sequel to : slipping away ໒ྀི sjy

ᴄᴏɴᴛᴇɴᴛ : fem!reader // angst, fluff ( a little bit ) // warnings : mentions of cheating, cursing, fighting // ᴡᴄ.2829

you didn’t know where else to go. your feet moved on autopilot, dragging you through the empty streets that seemed to stretch on forever. the suitcase in your hand felt like dead weight, each step heavier than the last, as if it were filled with all the pain you’d just been through. the hurt from that picture, the one that tore apart everything you thought you knew, was still fresh, like a wound that wouldn’t heal. staying in that house wasn’t an option—not with those messed-up memories haunting every corner, making it hard to breathe. ....more under cut

as you stumbled towards heeseung’s place, your path took you past jake’s office building. you couldn’t help but look up at the tall glass windows, now just a cold, empty reflection of the morning light. how many times had he told you he was stuck there, working late? the excuses, the lies, all seemed so obvious now. your mind replayed the image of him with her, over and over, like a bad movie you couldn’t turn off. tears pricked your eyes and started spilling over, sliding down your cheeks as you thought about that co-worker, the one he told you not to worry about.

the more you walked, the more your thoughts spiraled, pulling you into a dark place. was she really that much prettier than you? had you somehow stopped being enough for him? what did she do that made him think it was okay to throw away everything you had? each question stabbed at you, like a knife twisting deeper into your already broken heart. you wiped your face, smearing the tears, but they kept coming, hot and salty, and the weight in your chest only grew heavier.

the streets were too quiet, like the world was holding its breath, waiting for you to break. and you were so close. but you kept walking, one foot in front of the other, because standing still hurt even more.

when you finally reached heeseung’s apartment, you stood there for a moment, frozen in place. the morning was quiet, almost too quiet, and the sound of your knuckles against the door was too loud, breaking the stillness. but you didn’t care. you couldn’t care. you needed him. you needed someone to hold you together when it felt like you were falling apart. someone to tell you that you weren’t crazy, that leaving was the right thing to do.

the door opened, and there he was—lee heeseung, your best friend, the only person who had always been there for you, even when jake started slipping away. his eyes widened when he saw you standing there, your face streaked with tears, your body trembling like a leaf in the wind. he didn’t say a word. he didn’t need to. he just pulled you into his arms, holding you tight against his chest. the second you felt his embrace, something inside you snapped, and all the tears, all the pain, came flooding out like a wave you couldn’t stop.

you clung to him, crying uncontrollably, your fingers gripping his shirt like it was the only thing keeping you from falling apart. he held you like that for what felt like forever, his hand gently rubbing your back, his heartbeat steady against your ear. it was the only sound that made any sense.

after a long time, he gently pulled back, his hands holding your face. his touch was so soft, so careful, like he was afraid you might break if he wasn’t. “what happened?” he whispered, his voice filled with concern. he tried to meet your eyes, but you couldn’t. you just closed them, letting the tears flow down your face, soaking his fingers. you couldn’t speak, couldn’t find the words to describe the mess inside you. all you could do was cry, letting everything you’d been holding in finally spill over, hoping that somehow, in heeseung’s arms, you might find the strength to keep going.

“i saw a picture,” you finally said, your voice trembling. “of him... and her. he was holding her, like he used to hold me. she was kissing him, and he... he looked happy.”

the last word came out like a sob, choking on how bitter it felt. you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to block out the image that had been burned into your mind, but it was no use. it was there, haunting you, mocking you with every beat of your heart.

“fuck,” heeseung muttered under his breath, his voice thick with barely contained anger. “i’m so sorry.”

you shook your head, tears spilling over your cheeks. “i don’t even know why i’m surprised. he’s been pulling away for months, and i just... i just ignored it. i let him lie to me, over and over again. and now... now i feel so fucking stupid.”

heeseung’s hand moved to yours, his fingers wrapping around yours in a comforting squeeze. “you’re not stupid,” he said firmly, his voice steady despite the emotions swirling in his eyes. “you loved him, and you trusted him. that’s not something to be ashamed of.”

but you couldn’t help it. the shame, the guilt, the anger—it all felt like too much, crushing down on you from all sides. “i don’t even know who i am anymore,” you whispered, the confession tearing its way out of you. “i gave him everything, and now... i don’t have anything left.”

“you have me,” heeseung said quietly, but with a certainty that made you look up. his eyes were locked on yours, filled with a warmth and determination that cut through the fog in your mind. “you’ll always have me.”

for the first time in what felt like ages, something inside you shifted, like a small crack in the wall you’d built around your heart. it wasn’t much, but it was enough to let a sliver of light in, enough to remind you that maybe, just maybe, you weren’t as lost as you felt.

“thank you,” you whispered, squeezing his hand in return. the words felt small, but they were all you had to give right now.

heeseung just nodded, his gaze never leaving yours. “we’ll get through this,” he promised, his voice steady and sure. “together.”

and in that moment, sitting on that familiar couch with heeseung by your side, you felt the smallest flicker of hope. it wasn’t much, just a tiny spark in the darkness, but it was there. and maybe, with time, it would grow into something stronger. and for now, for now this was enough.

–

it’s been a week since everything fell apart, and you still haven’t spoken to jake. the days blur together, each one feeling like the last. you try to block out the memory of that picture, but it’s stuck in your mind, like a bad dream that lingers.

heeseung let you stay with him, giving you a place to hide from the pain. he’s been there for you, never asking for more than you can give. he doesn’t push you to talk or to face all the hurt that’s tangled up inside. instead, he stays nearby, his presence like a soft blanket on a cold night, keeping you grounded when everything else feels like it’s spinning out of control.

every time your phone buzzes, your heart jumps, hoping it’s jake, finally ready to explain. but it never is. it’s like he’s disappeared, leaving behind nothing but the broken pieces of what you thought you had.

every day, heeseung gently nudges you to leave the apartment, to get some air, to stop you from just existing in the space. “you can’t stay cooped up forever,” he said, his voice soft but firm.

finally, after days of retreating into yourself, you decided to go. the walls felt like they were closing in, suffocating you, and maybe he was right. maybe fresh air would help, if only a little.

"okay," you said one afternoon, your voice barely above a whisper. heeseung's eyes brightened in relief, though he tried not to show it too much. "let’s go for that walk."

the air outside was cool, and the sunlight felt strange against your skin after being inside for so long. with each step, the weight in your chest lifted just a bit. heeseung stayed beside you, quiet, letting you set the pace. as you were walking, heeseung offered to go to a cafe around the corner, you agreed.

but then, as you turned the corner, your heart stopped. there he was. jake, walking out of the cafe, laughing with the same girl from the picture. the world seemed to freeze for a second, your breath catching in your throat as your eyes met his.

heeseung saw him too. his body tensed next to you, and for a moment, you felt his hand brush against yours, as if he was ready to pull you away or shield you from what was about to happen.

jake stopped laughing the second he saw you, his face paling as he realized who was standing in front of him. the girl beside him looked confused, glancing between you and jake, oblivious to the tension crackling in the air.

"yn..." jake’s voice trembled, like he wasn’t ready to face you. his eyes darted between you and heeseung, panic settling in. the girl beside him, still clueless, tugged at his arm, but he gently pulled away from her.

he took a step toward you, his mouth opening to speak again, but before he could, heeseung stepped in front of you, his body stiff and protective. "don't," heeseung said, his voice low and sharp. "you don’t get to just walk up to her after what you did"

jake's face tightened with regret, and he raised his hands in surrender. "i know i messed up, heeseung. i just want to talk to her. i need to explain—“

"explain?" heeseung’s voice cut through the air, sharp as a knife. "what could you possibly explain? that you lied to her? that you went behind her back? you don't get to apologize now, jake. you’re too late."

you felt frozen between them, unable to speak, the weight of the moment pressing down on your chest. jake took another step closer, his eyes pleading with you now. "yn, please, just let me talk. i never meant to hurt you."

before you could respond, heeseung shoved jake back, his jaw clenched. "don’t even try it." the sudden movement startled jake, and for a moment, it looked like he might back down, but then his face hardened, and he shoved heeseung back.

"stay out of this, heeseung," jake growled, his calm facade slipping. "this is between me and her."

"it stopped being about you and her the second you decided to cheat," heeseung snapped. and before you could even process what was happening, heeseung swung at jake, his fist connecting with jake’s jaw.

jake stumbled back, wiping the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand. the tension snapped, and suddenly the two were on each other, fists flying, each punch fueled by anger and betrayal. you screamed their names, trying to pull them apart, but they were too lost in the fight to hear you.

the girl jake had been with stood frozen in shock, her eyes wide as the fight escalated.

it wasn’t until a cafe worker rushed out, clearly alarmed by the scene, that the fight broke up. the worker, a tall man with a stern expression, grabbed heeseung by the arm, yanking him back with surprising strength. "hey, that’s enough!" he shouted, his voice cutting through the chaos.

another worker stepped between jake and heeseung, forcing distance between them. heeseung was breathing heavily, his knuckles red from the impact, while jake stood on the other side, his face bruised and bleeding.

"don’t come near her again," heeseung spat, his voice shaking with anger.

jake’s eyes flickered to you, filled with regret and pain, but he said nothing. he turned and walked away, the girl trailing behind him.

— jake's pov

jake sat at his desk, staring at the empty coffee cup in front of him, his fingers tracing the rim absentmindedly. he hadn’t been able to focus on anything all week. his phone sat next to him, screen black, no new messages—just like every other day since you had left.

you were gone. really gone.

he rubbed his face with his hands, exhaustion weighing down his entire body. the office around him was buzzing with activity, but everything felt muffled, distant. all he could think about was you. the way you used to smile when he’d walk through the door, the quiet mornings they’d share before life got too busy. but those moments felt like a distant memory now, like something he could never get back.

he had tried to explain, tried to apologize. but none of his words had reached you. the look on your face when you found out—when you *really knew what he had done—was etched into his mind. the hurt, the betrayal. he had destroyed everything.

he’d messed up. he knew it. and now, the reality of losing you was suffocating.

his eyes flicked to his phone again, hoping—no, praying—that there’d be a message from you. but the screen remained blank, the silence louder than anything he’d ever experienced. he thought back to that day at the cafe, when he saw you again with heeseung. seeing you there, seeing you so close to someone else, had broken something inside him.

heeseung had always been around, always been that solid, dependable guy for you. and now, as much as he hated to admit it, he knew heeseung was there for her in ways he hadn’t been. jake clenched his fists, remembering the fight, the way heeseung had looked at him with pure hatred. he deserved it. every punch, every harsh word—it was what he deserved for letting her slip away.

but the worst part was knowing that you had walked away from him. the one person who had believed in him, who had given him her whole heart, was gone. and it wasn’t just the physical distance that hurt. it was knowing that you’d probably never forgive him. that he had broken something too deeply to ever fix.

jake leaned back in his chair, staring blankly at the ceiling. the loneliness pressed in on him, the regret gnawing at his insides. you had been everything—his anchor, his calm in the storm. and now, without you, everything felt wrong.

—

as you and heeseung walked together, the weight of your past started to feel lighter, heeseung couldn’t shake off the knot of sadness that had settled in his chest. despite everything, despite how jake had hurt you, he saw the way you still had lingering feelings for him. it wasn’t just about the anger or betrayal; it was the fact that jake’s presence still had a hold on your heart, even now.

heeseung had always been there for you, quietly harboring his own feelings, watching as you tried to mend a broken heart. now, as he saw the pain in your eyes, he couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness. he wanted to be the one to heal your wounds, to be the one who could make you smile again without the shadows of jake's memory lingering over you.

heeseung walked beside you, his thoughts heavy with unspoken emotions. he couldn’t deny the ache in his heart, the longing to be more than just a friend to you. but he also understood that you needed time, space, and healing. he had to be patient, even if it meant wrestling with his own heartache.

the cafe and the fight seemed like distant memories now, fading as you and heeseung continued to walk together. with each step, heeseung vowed to be there for you, no matter what. even if it meant watching from the sidelines as you sorted out your feelings for someone else, he would stand by you, offering his support and hoping that, one day, you might see him for more than just a friend.

the city’s noise came back into focus, but for now, the two of you walked on in silence, finding solace in each other’s presence. and as heeseung held your hand, he felt a glimmer of hope that, with time, things might change. for now, he would be there for you, every step of the way.

but even as he walked beside you, he couldn’t escape the gnawing feeling of inadequacy, the ever-present reminder that he was only a bystander in the wreckage of your heart. every moment with you was bittersweet, filled with the hope that one day you might see him differently, but also the crushing reality that he could never fully erase the pain jake had caused. heeseung’s heart ached with a sorrowful longing, knowing that while he could offer his support, the love he wished he could give you might always remain just out of reach.

kpi’s notes 🗒️: HI GUYS!! sooooo did you guys like it?? i know i know, its not a completely happy ending, but its not THAT sad. i just wanna say TYSM for all of the love and support you gave to “slipping away”, it really makes me happy to know people actually enjoy my writing 😊😊

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