Lesser Apes - Tumblr Posts

Nonhuman ape ratings

(this is done with comedic intent. I'm an ignorant fool. Don't trust me)

1: Orangutans. They're smart, but don't use it for evil. 10/10

2: (controversial) Gibbons. They're so underrated, there's the whole category 'great apes' to exclude them. Brachiation champs. Some hop sideways. 8/10

3: Bonobos. They're nice, but a bit associated with chimps for my taste. 5.5/10

4: Gorillas. They don't really have anything interesting. 5/10

5: Chimpanzees. Fuck those bastards. Give them the chance and they'll eat your fucking face. That's not hyperbole. A person had her face eaten by a chimpanzee. Both parties were at fault, but at least she didn't eat anyone's face. They take part in activity described as 'wars,' and they commit war crimes. They kill as many and as much as they can, then eat the fallen. If humans are space orcs, then chim-pan-fucking-zees are earth orcs. Ya know what I said about orangutans? Chimps are smart, and they use it for evil. fuck you/10