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So hi, I don't know who I am any more

Okay to preface this, I have always been so sure of myself, of who I am, of the plans I wanted to follow. But recently I've noticed that I have no idea what I want to do with the rest of my life. I'm a senior in highschool with mo real life experience who has depersonalization episodes the moment I'm in confrontation. I'm also a gay D&D nerd in the south who has no clue what he's doing.

The thing is, I've always questioned my ability to survive, to get past senior year, if I truly had a future and the truth is I was always in denial of the fact I might have one. Like I made all the plans for after highschool but I always assumed in the back of my head I'd just be another statistic, a dead boy on the side of the road or just dead and now that I have actually gone to therapy I'm not comptemplating my death anymore. But I still dont think I have a future.

Maybe it's me just being afraid to move forward in my life. My therapist does say I dont handle change that well, but I just can't figure out who the guy in the reflection is anymore. I know I'm posting something rather depressing and weird that's also not well put together either but that's because its 1:47 AM and I refuse to sleep, I have to plan a Halloween oneshot for later today.

This has been me talking to the ethereal place known as the internet, thanks for reading my short rambles, I hope there's hope, love Children of Cthulhu (Aka Trey)