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I cannot

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NO CAUSE WHAT DID ALEX AND BONNIE TALK ABOUT?!?! WHY DID THEY LOOK SO EMBARRASSED AND AWKWARD TOGETHER BEFORE AND AFTER?! THIS IS GOING TO BUG ME SOOO BAD LIKE NOW I WON'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT HSJSJAKS 😭😭😭

Also lmao- not 3 of the guys twisting which means that 3 of the og girls are now left single I'm fucking dead ☠️✋🏼 THEY REALLY GONNA HATE US FRFR

He asked her if we wanted him to take us back to the villa! Or maybe he asked her to ask us who we wanted to pick them and she told him what we said?

Watch this gem choice happen next week

Bonnie is hot in theory but something is off. I really like the long part of her hair, but I wish she had an undercut like Elladine. So here's my sad attempt at fixing Bonnie. I tried to give her the look of an undercut, darkened her eyebrows and lips and added just a touch more eyeliner to make her blue eyes pop more. Don't know if it really helped, but I think it's better? I also think she should have black hair but it was outside my wheelhouse to make it look nice.

The Inscrutability of Alex

So I might be working on an S7 Alex fic. I mean, I'm probably not working that. But I could be. Maybe. Anyway, for mysterious reasons, I decided to replay the current episodes because I found myself confused by a couple things with Alex. And a second playthrough left me even more confused. I sent @mrsbsmooth a nearly three minute, babbling voice note, asking her if I was missing something, because I cannot figure out how to write him.

This character is described by multiple others as having "golden retriever" energy. Something he absolutely does not have. I'd say he's not even that playful. It's just bizarre for anyone to say that. Nothing about him is overly energetic. Both Raf and Bryson are much better described like that. Alex has the most whistle-whilst-mowing-the-lawn-in jorts-dad energy ever. Golden retriever he is not.

So okay, his energy doesn't match the description. That's not a huge issue on its own. But like...who is he? He says he's not cocky, just confident.

Hmmm. Never is a strong word, innit?

Now, a less cynical person might say that Fusebox is just writing a realistic depiction of someone who is unaware of his own cockiness, but since I am a cynical asshole, I'm saying that Fusebox is not in the business of nuance. They make the same amount of money whether they spend the extra energy to give it depth or not. So they're never gonna bother with that. This is just inconsistent writing. Now, we all know that Alex's most overtly acknowledged trait is his desire to "Take things slow." He says he's looking for the one, and he's not gonna rush that. He knows things move fast there, but he still wants to take his time. He didn't kiss Estelle on the first night. He was uncomfortable with Summer being so forward before he knew anything about her. So how does a guy who takes things slow answer a question from a virtual stranger about what he does for a living?

A dirty joke. Yes, very much setting the tone for his lack of cockiness and his desire to take things slow 🙄 Though I do enjoy MC responding with "Very presumptive, but good to know." 😆😆😆 Not to mention, when he finds out you can snog during the icebreaker, he's not like, "Um too soon." Instead his eyes light up like he can't wait. It's so baffling. So let's say maybe he's just a slow mover who is also really flirty by nature. That feels like he's sending mixed signals at best and manipulating you at the worst. Now this one really threw me for a loop. There's a gem scene where you can ask the boys to tell you something cute about themselves. Alex tells a story about having a crush on a gym bunny and how it led him to weightlifting in order to ask her out. But he kept putting it off and by the time he finally got the nerve, she was already dating someone. So he learned not to hesitate. He learned to just go for it.

Um... what? That's a strange perspective to have for someone whose entire ethos is "Take it slow." Now, I'm aware that he is very straight forward with MC about where his head is at, so perhaps he just meant that he doesn't waste time letting someone know he's interested, but he still wants to take the relationship slow? I don't know. Last, but not least, on night one, you couldn't even kiss Alex (unless I'm misremembering). You could only snuggle. But on night two, Alex says he still wants to take it slow, but he wants to a little something. So the game gives us some options. And the first choice was to do bits. Now, this might be my fault, but I assumed that "bits" in this case would be some kissing and making out. Heavy petting. Maybe some under the clothes touching. But, to my utter shock, no it's not just a heavy make out sesh. Nope. He finger blasts you. He straight up bypasses the face lips and tiddies, and goes straight to rubbing the bean and shoving a digit inside of your person. It's an awfully intimate act for someone like him who's only been alone with you three times, and beyond challenge smooches (if you chose to even take those), has still never really made out with, nor kissed you privately. I would like to clarify that I'm not judging how fast or slow anyone goes in their personal lives. But I am I'm judging this character's pace in relation to the things he's been saying about his pace.

I wrote most of this before the last batch of episodes so I'll only lightly touch on the fact that Alex seems nearly ready to ask you to marry him the day after bringing you to the villa. So "taking it slow" really went out the window altogether.

Long story long, there are aspects to Alex I like. I mean, I'm writing him right now (OR AM I?) so it's not all bad. But it's really hard to attempt any canon reinterpretation, when I can't even sort out what canon is.

It just doesn't make sense. Is he cocky or not? Is he a slow mover or does he believe in not wasting time? Is he an inner city gym rat bro, or is he a home-on-the-range papa who wants to build you a cottage, and make babies? Is his whole "slow burn" thing some kind of manipulation to hide that he's a fuckboy (which would be hilarious) or he's just very badly written?

I love a good, lively conversation, so go ahead and let me know your thoughts. But for those who are rather... overly invested in Alex, feel free to yell at me about his perfection and how wrong and dumb I am. I look forward to deleting your vitriol.

I just read you post about Alex and I agree!!!! I mean I’m on his route and I like him thus far but you’re right he’s just kinda…. Inconsistent??? Like in last week’s episodes he doesn’t want to kiss the first night your back in the villa to be respectful. Sure completely understandable. I get it. But what surprised me is that he’s will to sleep with mc the next night in the hideaway???? Tbh I clicked “go all the way” expecting him to say he wanted to wait and that it was too fast for him but he was absolutely down?? And I was so confused. I was like dude didn’t you say you take it slow and now you’re gonna sleep with someone you haven’t even known a week?? I liked him initially bc he was a guy who didn’t like to rush into things but I guess what he meant was wait 10 minutes then he’ll be down for anything lol

Haha, that's the reality of Alex. Much like midwestern US weather, if you wanna watch him change completely, just wait a few minutes 😆

I really liked how he wanted to be respectful of Estelle the first night, but you're right, he changes his tune fast. I was surprised that, at the challenge the next day, he gets so hot and bothered by MC's run that he'll make out with you, to the point of you wrapping a leg around him, and it seems like there's grinding, all while Estelle is basically standing beside you both.

I just think it would have been more interesting if 1) it turned out his "take it slow" stuff was just something he did to differentiate himself from the rest of the boys, but he got so caught up in MC and being horny for her that he lost track of that false persona or 2) if the writers really played up his distress with how much he wants MC and it being counter to his values about relationships. Like if he seemed a little torn about moving too fast, but being too drawn to her to slow down. And you could add in his worry about Evan making him territorial, so he moves faster because he's worried about losing MC if he keeps slowing them down. This could lead to a really nice arc of MC reassuring him that she's happy with the pace he's set (or that she's not and she dumps him). Either of those would be interesting and would use this singular trait of his that is beaten into us, to its fullest. But they'd both require writers who intentionally made him inconsistent so they could use it to drive the plot. And welllllll... let's just say I'm not giving Fusebox the benefit if the doubt when it comes to their writing.

Thanks so much for stopping by, Anon! I was kind of worried that no one was gonna agree with me 🥰

I like Alex but if you want my opinion? I am glad someone said it he is being incosistent because the fans thinks he is Mr.Perfect who can't do wrong and that baffles me because along with Rafael, he was supposed to be the slowburn dude. I am not saying he is not allowed to do those things and is good to know he wants to be respectful towards Estelle (you even get frowns if you say Estelle is not compatible when selling yourself because Alex wants MC to focus in the relationship and not Estelle) but it baffles me when nobody calls him out for sending mixed messages. Okay, we know he wants to twists since the beginning that is absolutely valid but they never explained why he acts like this around MC when he wants to take things slow. And let's not talk about Uma because if you aren't in Alex route, during the spin-a-bottle game, he dares someone to do sexual poses with the person they like and when Uma picks him, he isn't afraid to do it past the initial me?! he gives first.

As Alex bafflingly said in one scene, "Heard." OMG I didn't know about the spin the bottle thing!

In the comments I mentioned that the whole interaction with Summer where she thought he was interested in her would have been a great way to sell the idea that he's sending mixed messages. But as always, they never stick the landing and in this case, they wrote him being completely up front and obvious about who he was interested in, so it's clear he bears no responsibility for Summer's behavior. Oh Fusebox.

Thanks for messaging me, Anon!

In terms of inconsistency when it comes to Alex’s pace, I would like to draw your attention to the reassurance scene you can have in the Villa with your boy, where they can assure you of their intentions after their original partner has been all over them. Alex notably says at some point in that conversation (and this is a bit that’s unique to Alex’s route) that he’s “husband material”, and when the MC says something like “not boyfriend material?”, Alex doubles down on how he wants that next level kind of thing.

Keep in mind during this point in the convo, your LI is trying to convince you to stay with them in case your having doubts. So a man who says they “move slow” has told a person he’s interested in that he’s “husband material” on like day 5 of knowing them. (And yes it’s a reality show where they’re isolated with only each other but STILL)

Now in Alex’s defense, and I highly doubt Alex is intentionally written this way and not just suffering from authorial inconsistency, BUT I DIGRESS. In defense of saying he wants slow but acting in a fast manner, I myself and a few other people I’m close with kinda do this in real life. For me personally, I’m usually quite slow with about 96% of the people I dated, doing the same things Alex did of being upfront about where my head’s at but going slow in the physical aspects and other things you would expect in a relationship. But that 4%, again for me personally, was fairly fast paced because I myself ended up being down bad and not even realizing I was on a speeding train towards feelings.

Long ask long, It’s more than likely Alex is just suffering because of bad writing, but there is the chance that Alex is a slow burner usually so that’s what he’s expecting, hence why he’s saying it. And MC is just that like, 4% person that he isn’t even aware he’s falling for at the speed of light. 🤷‍♀️

Thank you for drawing my attention by sending this twice 😂 I received the first one, but I ended up with a lot of anons and didn't know where to begin.

Yeah, I played the new eps and I referenced this very thing in my post. He went ALL IN once we were in the main villa. It's not like I don't think there's a world where a person *could* be this way, it's just that it doesn't really work in fiction. At least not the way it's presented in the fiction of the game currently. The tricky part of writing is that it has to be both more real than real and then less real than real. For instance, I have a best friend who is a BIG personality. I mean over-the-top. Love her and love her gigantic energy. She has amazing stories. But she's also surrounded by friends who are writers and every one of us has attempted to base characters on her and they never, ever work. Like no one has managed it. Because no reader ever believes that her antics are "realistic." She even took a writing class herself and wrote a paper that was essentially just a story about herself and no one in the class found it believable 😂 Sometimes reality doesn't play in fiction.

I love the idea of Alex just sort of losing his shit when he has a super strong connection, so I don't disagree that it *could* work. I just don't think it's working right now, because yeah, I 100% think it's just poor writing. Nothing about it feels intentional.

That said, I still think even if he was coming at it from that perspective--like he's 96% slow-motion in relationships and MC is just part of the 4%-- it would still cause problems. Mainly that any MC worth her salt is gonna view him as being manipulative. Telling her what she wants to hear while still trying to get inside those underpants. Which would be interesting, but I just don't think that's what Fusebox going for. Though to be fair, I'm not sure Fusebox even knows what they're going for either.

Thanks for the message, Anon!

I'm gonna be honest, I think Alex's inconsistency might be cause MC's default LI is supposed to be either Joyo or Bryson and they wrote the other routes around them. Cause what you described in the challenge and in the Hideaway happened to me as well on a Joyo route, but like it actually made sense for his character cause he's always been an unapologetically hoe about himself so him being a hoe for MC checks out lmao. Also if you noticed Alex is always coupled up with Uma when MC is off his route while Rafael sticks to Daphne so these 2 already have other girls coded for them if MC isn't pursuing their routes, but Joyo and Bryson alternate between coupling up with 3 girls in all 4 routes and either one of them is coded to bring Bonnie back in each route just to preserve MC's female LI, so I get the feeling just like Bobby in S2 these were the LIs we were supposed to go after.

Oh yeah, I can see that being the case. Though when I played I got the vibe that he was meant to be the main LI. But I could be wrong. Sad to say that's always a strong possibility 😆 I appreciate your perspective! Thanks for the ask!

fuck Alex.

(literally)

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I mean... in the game, I literally did. Did you think bad writing was gonna stop me from making that basic-ass white man my new daddy? Nooooope.

Thanks for the laugh, anon!

Is it just me or they made Willow Grace 2.0 ? Like hear me out, I know that all the OG girls get merged and become bitchy towards MC cause you stole "their man", but let's look at the context before CA. Daphne and Geri were obviously Rafael's and Joyo's first choices respectively pre CA and even if Alex said he wasn't feeling it with Estelle, I don't remember him cracking on with another woman before CA and so we can assume that she was initially his first choice as well.

But Willow ? They said multiple times that Bryson wanted Geri over her and that he even flirted with Geri right in front of her face, even before MC came into the picture she was never his first choice. While the other 3 girls also come across as desperate at least they have some basis for their delusion as they've been their man's "number ones" before they twisted with MC, but for Willow it looks even more embarrassing to cling to a man that's already pied her off for a second woman. Also the way they've described her all throughout CA as the sweetest person in the world just for her to become a bitch towards you cause her crush wants you and not her is giving Grace all over.

AND THIS IS AGAIN A BLACK WOMAN ! So even when she's literally merged with the white characters with the added context she still comes across as more delusional than her white/lighter skinned counterparts MY GOD FB.

Sigh. I mean yeah. I can definitely see this perspective. I have ceased to have expectations when it comes to FB's depictions of black women because they are generally somewhere between pretty disappointing to full on rage-inducing. In this case, I'd personally lay it at the feet of the lack of branching, rather than intention. Though that's probably giving them more credit than they deserve considering the very obvious mirroring of Hope and Grace as stage five clingers attached to wishy washy men of color.

I don't know, man. I wish they'd pay any attention at all to the way they depict race. I have to deal with enough racial shit in my every day life. I'd love to get on the app and not worry that I'm about to feel just as awful while playing. But alas.

Thank you for your perspective, anon!

You're literally an angel

Gave Raf a normal tummy and a normal neck and he looks better already.