Loves His Friends To Death - Tumblr Posts
NYX ULRIC FOR MOST FUCKABLE CAMPAIGN: Day 3
Woe, I be upon ye, with a lovingly crafted, academically cited argument as to why Nyx Ulric is more fuckable than Biggs FF7 for the @most-fuckable-ff-man poll. (Listen, Sephiroth is just going to win the trophy in the end because Final Fantasy fans are basic, can we at least knock out the rest of FF7 and give the other games a chance?) I have provided compelling evidence for most cases, please do your due diligence as a free thinking tumblrina and click through the links. It is my firm stance that, if presented in his full context, you will find that Nyx Ulric is indeed more fuckable than the opposing candidate.
VOTE NYX!
leather pants need I say more?
chest scars don't you just want to trace them... with tongue?
TATTOOS that mean something, don't you want to crack him open during pillow talk and find out what?
dom energy if you don't see it you ain't old enough to vote sorry
SCRUFF (see above)
smolder
bitchin jacket
supermodel strut
love a man in uniform
immigrant spirit
loyal to a fault
feminist
pansexual (I know more than you)
literally on fire and looks good doing it
heroic jawline, bastard smirk
culturally significant braids (a man with no culture is not fuckable sorry biggs you have no roots)
stays dead like a real man and doesn't need daddy square enix to deus ex machina his ass for franchising purposes like a capitalist COWARD biggs
MODELED AFTER A GAY FRENCH PORN STAR FR
fights imperialist bastards and looks good doing it
spits in the face of god
told a 100 crusty old ghost monarchs to go fuck themselves and they rewarded him for it
voiced by that breaking bad guy you're all obsessed with
his weapon of choice is these bad boys. takes a real fuckable guy to look your enemy in the eyes as he bleeds out beneath you
stared down the threat of tentacle porn and did not even flinch. fuckable - the freaky kind
i'm sorry, did biggs take on one of the most fearsome bosses in final fantasy single handedly and WIN? did he take down more than one?? no I don't think so, you'd need to be a main character to do that /shot
this is what he looks like when wet.
Fellow simps, if you're out there, feel free to add and reblog so the masses know what they're missing. I will not be taking questions from the press at this time. Please vote responsibly.