M: Myg - Tumblr Posts

drabble #89

yoongi x reader || angst || 1.301 words (oops?) prompt: “i noticed” warnings: cursing, mentions of violence, death & murder rating: pg-17 tags: brother’s best friend to lovers, spy!au

“You know what’s funny? I never asked for any of this. You think you’re doing me a favor, but you’re not” you pointed your finger at him, “I don’t need your help, I don’t need anything, to be honest. Matter of fact, I don’t know why you’re still here.”

“Because I care about you” he walked towards you.

“Oh, you care about me?” you scoffed, “Please, just get out” pushing him out of the way.

“I promised your brother I would take care of you” he turned his back, grabbing your wrist.

“That’s not my problem” you yanked your arm away, “That’s between you and him.”

“You’re acting out. It’s fine, go ahead.”

“I’m not acting out. Don’t treat me like a child. I’m a grown woman.”

“You didn’t have time to process his death” he pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes for just a second, like he was talking to himself more than to you, “This is your way of grieving.”

“Shut up” you shouted.

“Let me help you” he reached for your hand once again.

“Are you deaf?” you took two steps back, hitting your lower back on the doorknob, “I don’t need help. And if you’re not getting out then I am.”

He was faster than you, and as soon as you tried to cross the threshold he blocked the way, both hands on the frame, “You’re not going anywhere.”

“Watch me” you challenged him, feeling the rage burning inside, and proceeding to go below one of his arms.

“No” he moved his right leg and blocked you. Again.

“Move” you warned him, punching his left rib with your right hand, yet he didn’t even flinch. “Yoongi, get out of my way.” You weren’t shouting anymore you were straight-up yelling at his face.

“Not until you calm down.”

“You know I’m not scared to punch you in the face, right?”

“I noticed” he mocked. The frustration you felt was overwhelming, and the mere fact he was alive and breathing instead of your brother was driving you absolutely insane. So you tried to punch him a few times with no luck. He kept dodging.

“You’re going to get hurt” he held your wrists firmly, “I don’t wanna hurt you.”

“You already did! Now move!”

“I did? When?” he asked, letting you go.

“When you let my brother die.”

“You don’t know what you are talking about” Yoongi's eyes displayed so many emotions at once, it was hard for you to understand what was truly going through his head. But one thing you were sure of: he was on the verge of shedding a few angry tears.

“He trusted you, you know? He really did. Fuck, at some point so did I. Never, in my wildest dreams, thought you would betray him.”

Yoongi took a step closer, your noses almost touching, “I didn’t betray him.”

“Fine. Whatever you say” you laughed, and then pushed him, “Now let me go.”

Yoongi closed his eyes in exasperation as soon as your hands touched his chest.

“Calm. Down” he replied annoyed.

“Stop telling me to calm down. Stop telling me you’re going to help. Stop telling me you care about me. Stop with all this bullshit. You’re not who I thought you were. Again, you think you’re doing me a favor, but you’re not. I’m tired of looking at your face and being reminded of what happened. I will always be better off on my own. You took him away from me. You really did. He never wanted this life, this was not his dream, but he went along with it because his ‘best friend’ needed him. And where does that leave me, huh? He never cared to ask either. It’s okay. I get it. But you? Ha, you have some nerve showing up like this, trying to boss me around. You act like you need to save me or something. I don’t need saving. I need my brother.”

“I know” Yoongi ran his fingers frantically through his hair.

“Get out of my way” you walked past him, heading towards the door again.

“Please,” he shouted and you turned, “just listen to me” he added more softly.

“Let me make one thing abundantly clear,” you ran up to his face, tears streaming down your cheeks, “I don’t know what my brother told you but I’m not some fragile little girl. If I wanted to I could kill you right now.”

He tilted his head, eyes red, looking like a mad man, “Why don’t you?”

“Because I’m not like you” you stared at Yoongi like he was trash. Absolutely disgusting. You couldn’t hold it in anymore. You were hurt, lost, and scared. Living in a world without your brother was very scary.

“You don’t know what you’re saying” Yoongi sniffled and started pacing around the room, “You don’t know the whole story. Stop acting like a child then I might stop treating you like one. Fuck!” he punched the air, “Do you think this is easy? I lost my best friend, my brother.”

“You’re so fake, oh my god” you covered your mouth.

“That bratty attitude won’t get you anywhere” he stopped and faced you, “Instead of saying so much shit, why don’t you ask me what truly happened that day? Why don’t you ask me the full story? You go on and on about your brother’s death but you weren’t there. You didn’t see it. You didn’t feel it happen. You didn’t hear him take his last breath. You don’t know what it was like to see your favorite person just cease to exist right in front of you.”

By the time Yoongi was done with his rant he was once again right in front of you. It was a stare-down contest for a few seconds before you managed to voice more calmly what you really wanted to say.

“I don’t trust you” you poked his chest, “I don’t know you” you poked again, “For all I care you can lie about the whole thing, which is exactly what I think you've been doing since December so…” you turned and walked to the couch to grab your bag. You were leaving.

“So what? What are your other options?” Yoongi confronted you, coming right behind, “Who can you call right now that knows your brother better than I do? Who? Do you know any of his friends' names? Numbers? Addresses?” he stood beside you and leaned down to see your face as you threw a few things into the bag, “Were any of these people there when he died? No. So there you go. I’m all you got” he slapped his chest a couple of times, “You have no choice other than believe me.”

“This is ridiculous,” you threw the bag over your shoulder, “go fuck yourself.”

Yoongi chuckled, “You’re not leaving this room”, pulling you by the bag.

“Here we go again” you threw your bag on the floor, ready to slap the shit out of him if you had to.

“Listen to me very carefully because I won’t repeat myself” he kicked your bag to the other side of the room, “As of today, February 23rd, you have been placed in the witness protection program due to your brother’s death. He was targeted and killed, and we suspect you’re next.

“We?” you looked at him confused, “Who is we?”

“The government” Yoongi bluntly stated.

You felt your head spinning all of a sudden like you opened your eyes too fast on a bright summer day, “Are you a spy?”

“Something along those lines” he nodded, “So was your brother.”

You gasped. 

“That’s why I need you to stay fucking inside. I promised him I would take care of you, and I’m going to keep that promise. Whatever it takes.”

hangsang • myg one shot

𝘨𝘪𝘧 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘣𝘺 𝘴𝘶𝘨𝘢-𝘴𝘴𝘪 | 𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘴𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘱𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘱𝘰𝘴𝘵 :)

pairing: yoongi x reader

word count: 1.268

genre: light angst with a sprinkle of fluff

rating: pg-15

warnings: cursing, mentions of sex, implied mental health issues, kissing

au: slice of life 

trope: established relationship

tags: musician!yoongi, boyfriend!yoongi

summary: on a particular difficult day, while feeling at your absolute lowest, you confess to yoongi he would be better off without you

☆ disclaimer: this is a work of fiction taken from the depths of my imagination, which takes place in an alternative universe (AU) and has no real connection with people, places or organizations. everything you will read is fictional and created by me. i do not authorize its reproduction, translation or publication, partially or entirely © mrsparknamjoon

♡ A/N: i wrote this after being obsessed with THIS song for a few weeks and toying with the idea of the calm and centered yoongi reacting to his girlfriend feeling insecure about herself. sometimes we all let our anxiety get the better of us and end up letting the voices in our heads bring our self-esteem down. this is a oneshot dedicated to all the beautiful ppl out there who are currently struggling with self-acceptance <3 hope you like it

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special shout-out and major thank you to miss ella (@ lovelytaes-blog) for beta reading this for me and making such great suggestions. i appreciate you, love! ^_^

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It was Sunday afternoon, you and Yoongi were on his couch looking for another movie to watch. The last time you'd seen each other was well over two weeks ago, and this would be the only weekend between your business trips and his vacations that you’d be able to see each other while he was staying at his parent’s house.

You've been together for three months, but the last few weeks had been extra difficult. You began considering all the pros and cons of continuing to see each other. As much as you kept reminiscing about the wonderful moments you two spent together or how great and safe Yoongi made you feel, it was impossible not to let the crushing fear of the reality of your situation creep into your heart.

Unable to hold it any longer and forcing yourself to swallow the lump in your throat, as soon as Yoongi got up to get more popcorn, you blurted out the affirmation that had been consuming you day and night.

“You’d be better off with someone else”

“What?” he stopped and looked down at you, bucket in hand.

“You’d be better off with someone else” you repeated, avoiding his gaze and nervously pushing down the right sleeve of your black hoodie. Yoongi’s hoodie, actually.

“I heard you, I just…” he sat next to you, “Where is this coming from?”

You didn't want to look at him, if you did, you wouldn't be able to hold back the tears. Still the affectionate tone he used automatically made you crave the comfort only his eyes could provide.

“I don’t fit in, Yoongi” you confessed with a faint smile and watery eyes.

“Don’t fit—what do you mean, Y/N?” Yoongi moved the popcorn bucket to the side, holding your face with one of his hands, gently stroking the nape of your neck, “What’s going on?”

“In your life...I don’t fit in” you moved his hand away from you, “This was a mistake. We’re not good together”

Yoongi was visibly shocked by the words that just came out of your mouth, especially by the fact that you had rejected his touch. That has never happened before.

“You deserve a woman that likes the same things you like, maybe even one that works with music like you do,” you continued, drying up a single tear with the back of your hand, “because then you two would have something to talk about” 

Yoongi slid closer to you, hands fixed on his lap.

“You definitely deserve someone more available too, someone that has time to go on dates instead of postponing them time and time again” you bitterly laughed, “Speaking of dates, you should do what normal couples do together, like have sex for example”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa” he jumped right in, knowing how sensitive this subject was for you, “You don’t really mean that, right?” he intertwined his fingers with yours.

“I do, Yoongi” you softly squeezed his hand, “It's not easy to admit that I'm less than I'd like to be. It pains me to know that I'm not good enough to maintain a relationship, especially with you. We've been waiting so long for this opportunity, and I thought I would be worthy of a beautiful story, like the one where two friends meet in middle school, pine for each other in secret, and lose contact during college, only to end up meeting randomly at a party… So naive, right?” you scoffed bitterly to yourself.

The tears were silently wetting your face, falling like a broken faucet.  The more you tried to hold them in, the more suffocated you felt. It was useless to keep your feelings in, he deserved to know.

Yoongi studied your face with a mixture of confusion, despair, and love, breaking your heart into another thousand new pieces right before he begged with a shaky voice, almost a whisper, “Wait, no, listen…”

“Yoongi, I don’t know what I’m doing half of the time, okay? I have zero experience on how to be a proper girlfriend other than books and tv. I suck at this” you sniffed, fixing your hair, “I feel like a teenager when I’m around your work friends, your exes have set the bar way too high, I can’t compete with them. We’re both older now and I shouldn’t be the one holding you back” you finished, getting up from the couch.

“Holding me back?” Yoongi said to himself before getting up and hugging you, “No, please, Y/N, take a deep breath” his hands now drawing big circles on your back, “You're getting ahead of yourself.”

“You just can’t see it yet, but you will” you muttered against his chest, “I’m doing you a favor”

“Stop!” he pulled you away and held your face in his hands, “We’re good together, we’re meant to be. Our story is pretty dope and I love telling people about it” he smiled, “And sure, we like different stuff, but it’s honestly one of my favorite things about us, you’re always teaching me something new”

“Yoongi… I-”

Yoongi was sad and feeling somewhat guilty for hearing you say such heavy things. He had no idea you felt that way. Your despair made him think he was lacking as a boyfriend, like he should have been more attentive to your needs.

“To be fair we’re both busy with work right now so we’ll figure dating out, okay? Together.” he kissed your forehead, “We agreed that we were taking things slow. I don’t care about sex right now, Y/N, I care more about you and how you’re feeling. So, what’s up with the ‘not being good enough’ talk or how you ‘can’t compete with my exes’ thing?” he tilted his head, meeting your puffy eyes and red nose, “You don’t suck” he brushed a strand of hair away from your face, “You’re everything I want.  I wish you could see yourself through my eyes, truly. I don’t think you understand how much you mean to me. Fuck, you’re the reason that I believe in myself, Y/N. You’re the best partner, the term girlfriend doesn’t even compare to what you are to me, we have a bond for life. No one compares, babe”

And there you were...crying...again. This time full-on ugly expressions and unable to hide your face from Yoongi while he held you carefully as if you were made of glass and going to shatter at any moment.

“I can’t leave you. I won’t leave you” he emphasized the last part as he looked deep into your eyes, trying to convey everything he was feeling, “You’re a gift from the universe. One of a kind. Being in a relationship with you was the best decision I made so far. Why don't you believe that?” he leans down, pressing his forehead softly against yours, “I don’t know how else to show you how much I lo-”

Quickly closing the gap between you two, you crashed your lips onto his, feeling the familiar warmth invade your body. The pain that had been bubbling up before now made room for a more beautiful and colorful feeling, full of life and desire. You simply had to get the words out before the lingering fear crept back and filled your mind with doubts. 

“I love you, Yoongi” you whispered, lips brushing against his.

His eyes doubled in size, “Wha-”

“I wanted to be the first one to say it” you giggled, “I love you. I looove you!”

“I love you, Y/N” he whispers, contently sighing, holding you close, as he always does.