Mortefi Wuwa - Tumblr Posts
A/n: I sort of strayed a little with this one I feel like, but thank you sm for the request, and I hope you enjoy this!
Contents: Mortefi x GN!Reader, jealous reader, reader is very stubborn I must say, not proof-read. lemme know what you think!
Words: 3059
It’s suffocating. Uncomfortably warm and slimy. This feeling that roils within your chest and throat, you’re sure you’re about to start feeling sick from the thoughts spiraling within your mind. And the lab papers in front of you and the endless sound of the machine’s beeping is not enough to distract you.
Beep-beep-beep.
Have you done something wrong? What could it be? Only minutes prior were you looking at these papers with some sense of pride, imagination running wild with the possible outcomes of this hypothesis, positive ones. Yet, they were so easily shattered when Mortefi breezed by, catching a glimpse of the words printed on top, leaving several comments of where you could improve - how you should improve if you want to go through with this. Had you had a clear mind you would’ve done as he said, taken his words as helpful advice and not as an attack on your work. But his tone remained the same as always, it didn’t soften nor did it grow warm. So it made you wonder what he meant, or rather - what he really felt towards you. The latter was a question that occupied your mind for a long time.
He moved past you to the center of the lab, nearing one of the many lit computers, just where Baizhi stood. From afar you could see them greet one another and begin to talk. And that feeling in your chest only expanded further, pawing at your ribs and making you frown at the helplessness. Mortefi looked interested in whatever their topic of conversation was, and it lasted some odd few minutes. Odd minutes you couldn’t keep your focus until both of them left to their own stations, and far out of your sight.
A heavy breath fell from you, irritated but also… sad.
With your mind in a strewn about yarn, threads hanging, you began to think if this work was even worthy for you. God knew you wanted it, you signed up for it, you spent nights studying and working to be better and get better than that but all that effort seemed to fall short and small within Baizhi’s shadow. And you don’t even blame her, she is excellent in her work, you don’t hate her. But you’d give a questionable amount of things to have a fraction of that sweet attention Mortefi was giving her. Perhaps you were being unreasonable, irrational - and you don’t argue with it - you’re seeing green and red everywhere, and with hasty hands you collect your papers after making small adjustments, crossing out lines of text and noting down new words. And moments later you’re off to another part of the Academy, away from Mortefi and Baizhi.
What little glimpse Mortefi caught of you as you left shows disappointment and, and in the way you held yourself he saw traces of turmoil that he didn’t fully understand from that one look. He remained at his station, engrossed in his research and unaware of the burden you carried in your heart.
It wasn’t until the time for your report came and went. And when your break time came and went. And you were nowhere in sight.
That made an odd feeling settle in his chest, a vibration of an unknown bass playing amidst the bones of his ribcage, waves of it washing up to his neck. Unable to ignore it any longer, he bid farewell to his station for the time being, one hand buried in the pocket of his lab coat, playing with the lighter. Flick..flick..
There was not one spot in this wide and vast Academy that you could hide from him, not when he wasn’t particularly looking for you and even more so when he was specifically looking for you. He could spot you in a crowd by one lone look, to him you stood out like a flower amidst grass, how could he overlook you? Following the path familiar to him, he comes into a lab room smaller in contrast than the others, hidden away from the hustle and bustle of the center room and the halls. It is clean, it is comfortable. His eyes land on your back, your nose buried in your papers, your hands hastily fiddling with the apparatus in front of you. You barely acknowledged his presence.
As if to avoid startling you, Mortefi clears his throat, but he fails and watches as you flinch at the sudden disturbance.
“Mortefi? Uh- What are you doing here? Did you need me?” the questions tumble out from your mouth out of habit rather than genuine curiosity. You turned to face him, brows lightly knit together and eyes regarding him with a mix of feelings and inquiries.
“I grew curious as to where you vanished off to. Has your research been so indulgent that you forgot to eat or report in? It’s been 3 hours and some odd minutes since you began on this project this morning” he began, the nail on his thumb grazing underneath the lid of his lighter within his pocket, keeping still, yet tense in his hand. His sharp gaze moves from your eyes and down to the table you were working at, noting the sharpie marks across your paper and thinner lines from your pen, and giving a small nod at them he said: “You made those adjustments I told you about, I trust”
This pulls your attention from him and at the papers, and taking his words as some sign to move freely you begin to stack pages back on top of another. “Yes. I made the necessary changes to it all. I just need to put it all into practice and, hopefully, get the results I want” you respond, clearing your parched throat. His gaze is intense, you can feel it at the back of your head like two sharp points of a stick.
“You’ve been pushing yourself today, unnecessarily so. I sense some growing frustration from you” he says, leaving the topic open ended, expecting you to explain yourself, but where do you even begin without looking like a fool? Like a child?
You sigh, looking around the table yet searching for nothing as you shrug your shoulders. “No, no.. I just haven't been sleeping too well lately, and it seems that all is catching up to me” you offer a empty excuse, before reaching for a blank sheet of paper, a part of you yearning to keep him here, and the other wishing him to leave you with your own emotional burdens. “If a report is what you need, I can only offer what I have from the experiment thus far, but it is not concluded, I apologize”
“Ah, yes.. sleep. One thing that is most underestimated in its importance” he mused out loud, tone flat and ignoring your latter statement for a moment too long. He was pressing deeper into the crux of the matter, not letting you shift the topic too easily. “The report for an unfinished work will not be necessary, it’s much more preferable if you take a bit longer to get end results than to hand over a half-baked product”, he sighed, pushing his golden rimmed glasses further up the bridge of his nose. “Your dedication is admirable, but we can hardly expect progress if you're operating on insufficient rest and mental fatigue”.
You have to stop yourself from either chuckling or spinning around to stare at him as if he was speaking backwards. But no matter what you tried, you couldn’t stop your heart from hammering in your chest.
“Perhaps you should have Baizhi take a look at you. She can prescribe you some soothing medication to help you sleep. But as for work.. You’re done for today” he stated plainly, looking to the side and barely missing your shocked eyes.
“What? Are you dismissing me?” you blurted out, suddenly afraid you have done something wrong or that you offended him in some capacity. He’d never send you home, especially not when you were in the midst of a project.
“It's not a matter of dismissiveness, but rather a practical decision. If your exhaustion is hindering your ability to perform optimally, what benefit is there in insisting on your presence here?” he replied, his tone cool and detached. You blink at him owlishly, confused and, quite frankly, afraid. Previous anger, sadness and jealousy all melting away from your bones like wax over a flame. The flame being Mortefi himself. An eternal blaze that swallowed everything in its wake. You were wondering how it didn’t engulf you by now.
But in that thought alone you missed the point of it all. His flames didn’t touch you, didn’t scorn you because he willed them that way. The warmth of them kept you warm, kept you alive, kept you in this field and as his coworker, a place most others wouldn’t be able to handle. He would soften it all if he knew how, to show you he cares.
Sensing a shift in your emotions, Mortefi softened his gaze, a subtle nod of understanding replacing the usual aloofness he carried. He saw the confusion and fear in your eyes, and it pained him that he had inadvertently caused it. He knew that his words could often come across as cold and dismissive, but it was never his intention to harm or offend.
“Rest is not a punishment, but a necessary part of the work process. To push oneself to the point of exhaustion is unproductive. It only inhibits progress. Trust me when I tell you this."
Softness is undeniably present in his voice now, and your mind goes blank. Your mind was still stuck on this morning, on your project, but here he was breaking all illusions and thoughts by simply being kind.
“I can’t say I don’t appreciate your concern, but..” you look up at his eyes only to find a scowl curling the corners of his lips, and you sigh again, looking away in embarrassment. “I can’t argue with you either, can I?”
“No, you cannot. Now, go pack up what you have. I’ll go contact Baizhi and see if she can get a check up on you before you leave”
“No, no, that won’t be necessary..” you wave your hands before you, shaking your head simultaneously to deny the offer with your entire being. “I already have some tea at home that can help me with this, no need for a check up. I insist” you try, but only get a cocked brow from Mortefi, you can already tell what he’s thinking.
“Tea alone cannot be sufficient in treating issues related to poor sleep. Besides, it goes without saying Baizhi is well versed in medicine, and her prior check-ups of your health have been of great help to you, have they not? If tea was that simple of medicine, why have you not seen improvement?” he shot back sharply and you grew quiet, not wishing to prolong this argument further, but staying silent wouldn’t be the way to go either.
“I don’t want to see Baizhi right now” you said plainly, tone low and softened involuntarily. Your reply was met with a skeptical look, Mortefi’s head tilted in question. “And why not? Do I need to pull you to her office myself? You’re not a child, (Y/n)” he countered, not low on his arsenal of words and snappy remarks. He approached you closer, closing the distance between the two of you until he could peer into your avoidant eyes, making your heart skip a beat.
“I just.. Mortefi, I don’t know. I don’t want to see Baizhi and that’s final. Don’t make me go see her. I’ve seen enough of you two this morning” It slipped from your mouth sooner than you could pull it back, and immediately you regretted your choice of words, cursing the ability to speak. “Uh-”
Mortefi froze in his tracks, his sharp eyes widening subtly in surprise. The mention of Baizhi and himself seemed to strike a chord in him, and his stoic façade cracked just enough to betray a hint of confusion. “Hm? Have we done something to offend you to this degree of avoidance? I wasn’t aware of any discomfort inflicted upon you” he knitted his brows, looking at you for answers, his turn to feel on edge now. Were you implying he was acting out of line with Baizhi? He knew of how he behaved around others and he saw no flaws in his dealings with other colleagues, so it all left him in a more twisted maze.
You swallowed the lump in your throat, lips pressing into a thin line. “Mortefi- no. You haven’t done anything to offend me, I am not offended. I just.. uh.. No, it’s all too silly. I just meant that you two just seem to be too busy with your shared workload, and I just got tired of seeing it all” It’s a badly written lie, and the truth is bleeding through the cracks in neon colors. You’re cringing at yourself, really.. The lies you were uttering, however poorly woven, were evident in the way your face creased. He could almost hear your thoughts, almost see the jealousy and insecurity that plagued you through the lies you were trying to hide behind.
He paused for a moment, considering the situation carefully, before responding. "Is it really about our workloads, or is there something else that you're not telling me?" He asked calmly, his voice low and measured.
A pregnant pause befell your ears, only being interrupted by a distant hum of a machine outside of the room, and the footsteps of other workers in the halls. He does not push you to answer swiftly, instead he waits, patient as ever with you.
“I suppose…”
“You suppose..?”
It’d be a lie to say he wasn’t taut as a bowstring, ready to hear you out, anticipating your reply. His heart was squeezing painfully in his chest.
“Ugh..I just.. Promise me you will not be angry at me, and that you will not think ill of me after I tell you?”
“Well, this must be big if you’re asking that of me” he breathed out. Your hesitation was palpable, and the silence between them dragged on, only adding to the palpable tension. Finally, the words came, and he felt a strange mixture of anticipation and trepidation.
“I'll promise no such thing will come from me. Your words cannot change the way I feel about you” he replied, his voice tinged with a touch of irritation.
With a heavy breath you closed in on yourself, arms folded over your chest. “I was just.. watching how close you and Baizhi are this morning and for a long time now. You always spend so much time together, and despite you and I being direct coworkers and more than that outside of this Academy, I feel.. left behind”
“You are jealous?”
“If you wish to put it that bluntly - then yes. I am”
Mortefi’s coldness and stiffness seemed to melt, the answer finally clearing up the brain fog that had started to develop in his head. Things were looking clearer at long last, and with that he also felt as if he failed you. He has failed to make you feel appreciated as you deserved, and that makes his gut twist in on itself.
“I fail to see why you’d be jealous of Baizhi, even with the time we spent together. Baizhi and I are strictly work colleagues and nothing more. You are the one that gets to be in my presence, sharing stories and desserts after work hours..” Mortefi says out loud, moreso speaking to himself than you, as if trying to figure out your point of view. He wasn’t dismissing your emotions, but he failed to grasp them within his own two hands. He had been so preoccupied with his own work and responsibilities that he had failed to notice the toll it was taking on his relationship with you. His focus had been so singularly on his research, on his partnership with Baizhi, that he had unintentionally neglected the depth of the connection he had with you.
“I do have to apologize” he cuts you off before you can speak. “This.. area is not within my expertise, per se. If I had neglected you, I would’ve liked if you openly communicated this with myself” he offered, and the lighter in his hand feels like it will break apart under pressure. “And while I can’t limit my time with Baizhi, as it is all just work, I can accommodate you as well by spending more time with or around you, if that will help you feel more.. at ease”
There is clarity ringing its bell over your head as he speaks, already offering solutions to this problem you made out of irrational thought. Bless his heart, for all he is cold and aloof he is ten times more kind. Snappy as he is, he means well.
“Mortefi... Mortefi, I am sorry too. I did want to keep this with myself, it shouldn’t have come to this point where you try to resolve my issues by yourself”
At that he scoffed, almost chuckling but no laughter came from him. One hand perches itself on his hip and he looks at you with a look that screams of his desire to see this through.
“Oh, but how can I ignore it now that it is in front of me? No, that will not do. Especially since it is you who we’re talking about. You go ahead now, I’ll think of something until the end of my shift. I’ll give you a call later this evening”
Afterwards your company would leave his presence and the lab, having left with more reason than conflict, and with a mind full anticipation of his words.
And just like clockwork, by the end of his shift he’d give you a call, telling you to come meet him at your favorite dessert place.
Mortefi is special in his way of showing affection..
He is yet to learn his way with words when it comes to sweet nothings, but until then he can take care of you and help you out with work. Whatever helps you see that you, indeed, do matter much to him.
Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.
Tags: @pinksaiyans
Could you please write some hcs for Mortefi, Jiyan, and Calcharo with a shy and anxious reader?
A/N: thank you for the request! I hope you enjoy these. It's my first time writing Calcharo so I hope I did him justice
Contents: Jiyan x Reader. Mortefi x Reader, Calcharo x Reader, all separate, gn s/o, fluff, a bit of crack ngl
Jiyan:
-Keen eyes is one of Jiyan’s best characteristics, and when it comes to you that trait of his gets amplified tenfold. He knows you more and more, day by day, and he keeps little mental notes of your person
-Just a person, and even more so as a medic at heart, Jiyan is able to notice your anxious behavior from a long mile away, and he does do his best to ease you in situations where he can
-He would never leave you alone if the situation is something you can’t handle, or if you’re simply feeling unwell - unless you voice it that you want to be alone
-Patience of a saint and the gentleness of a flower. It’s one of his best virtues, being able to lead an army like a general but remain soft and giving, not allowing his heart to turn to stone
-He does have the tendency to reach for your hand if he sees you really nervous or fidgeting. Sometimes he’d take your hand in both of his and massage your knuckles and fingers with one hand, all while asking if you’re alright and if there’s anything you’d like him to do
-When he’s on the front lines and comes across any medicinal herbs that could help you, he send them to you with a little heartfelt note on how to best prepare it, make it into tea or even possibly incense
-Always there to listen to you if you have anything to let off your chest
-If it makes it easier, he also talks for you in situations where you may be overly exhausted or simply don’t have the strength to talk to the other person. He never oversteps this though, he doesn’t say something you may not agree to
-Lots of people know you because they see you two so close together all the time, and due to that you have their respect. Some may even fear to land a finger on you since they’d rather not have the General hounding them down
-Jiyan may also have his mother check in on you when he’s away on the battlefield and when he can’t be there for you
Mortefi:
-Yapper one thousand deluxe and the enemy of anxiety if you ask me
-Not that he doesn’t know what or how it feels like, he had his moments too, but he has grown into the man that he is today. Anxiety fears HIM.
-He is a bit dense, so he may come off as if he’s trying to scold you when he catches you holding back on saying something, especially if it’s directed at him
-He encourages you to just talk, spill it out, he will not scold you for voicing your thoughts and in many situations he even looks forward to what you have to say
-He doesn’t mind quiet. If he sees some silence will do you good he will just shut it, occasionally flicking his lighter - the sound is just so satisfying and calming in times like this
-Mortefi isn’t too big on PDA, but on occasion he will place his hand on your shoulder or back to guide you through a crowd of perhaps down the hall. It’s a small little reminder that he has your back
-Doesn’t tolerate anyone that may have something unsavory to say about your shyness or anxiety. He is blunt and sharp, and says exactly how disappointed he is in the person that says so. And what could hurt more than being called an idiot by THE Mortefi in the most eloquent way that it leaves you questioning if it was flattery or well disguised cussing
-Mortefi also gets into the habit of leaving behind little things and trinkets for you, usually little sweet treats to get your spirits back up, but sometimes it may be little notes too to remind you to not lose courage or reminding you to eat
Calcharo:
-When he first notices you are really quiet and fidgety and refuse to meet his gaze he doesn’t think too much of it - at the end of the day you wouldn’t be the first nor the last one that is afraid of him
-But as time passes and you two bond and grow close, he realizes it’s not just fear of him, but also something much deeper and complex, something he can’t quite grasp yet and that leaves him puzzled
-Does ask some questions in regards to why you feel so anxious, or why you can’t just say what’s on your mind to certain people - especially to those that deserve to have a taste of their medicine
-He may not fully understand now, but he doesn’t deny that this exists and that it should be treated with some delicacy
-Now that is something he fears he can’t do. Softness is not his forte. He can’t hold you like a mother holds a baby, that gentleness evades him, and he can’t tell you love poems to ease your heart, that kind of creativity never came naturally to him
-But he can ensure your safety, through and through. If someone is bothering you, they won’t be doing so for much longer. If you need something from the markets and are anxious to go since it’s too crowded, he is going in your stead. If someone dares to be rude to you in front of him, they’ll be lucky to walk away with their spirit still within them.
-He does his best to accommodate you, even when it may be unreasonable to do so.
-He is short and direct with words, so he does tell you things that seem odd to him in regards to his behavior, the same way he does to his men - but the difference is that there is much more..care in his tone when speaking to you. He cares for his team, but even more so for you
-Calcharo may look like a big scary dog that bites everything that moves, but if you come to him asking for a hug because your anxiety spiked and you just need to be held, he is opening his arms and pulling you into a gentle little bear hug and holding you until you start to pull away
Ⓒ n0tamused. Do not repost, translate, edit, and/or copy any of my works. Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated.