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"Simony" Analysis and Trivia
If anyone’s interested, this is just a look behind the curtain of my thought process surrounding “Simony,” my speculative, Fall prediction fic. Except, it takes place during Rise, if an alternate series of events were to occur. I would suggest reading my fic before reading this post if you haven't, so you aren’t confused.
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Rhian looked ethereal in the light, like a spirit. - Foreshadowing his death.
The walls behind him looked more the pure white of sugar glass, with distortions and cracks. - Imagery to represent Good’s and Rhian’s corruption.
There’s a lot of light-and-dark, black-and-white, shadow-and-sun imagery. This was intentional because I wanted a literal Halo Effect to apply to Rhian as people who are attractive are often judged as more innocent and honorable. At the same time, he’s also being backlit, so a shadow is cast on his face, to signify his turn. Additionally, when I described him from Rafal’s perspective across the room, I not only wanted to emphasize attractiveness but light that could burn out your corneas, if given the chance. Hence, how Rafal would react to the glaring light. He’d probably squint, or not be able to look at it head on. I also have in mind how when you narrow your eyes at light, you tend to see alternating flashes of red and black in your field of vision. So, that could also extend to literally “seeing red,” conveying anger.
Rafal’s figurative “death” of the soul is by burning alive. I repeatedly used the word burn and the adjacent imagery to signify this. This idea is also associated with the persecution of Evil in the tales through burning witches on pyres.
Rhian’s death is by “drowning,” in a way. He may have choked on his own blood, or I’d prefer the interpretation of Rafal’s fatal blow to the heart ending his life, to serve symbolism around matters of the heart. Rhian’s own figurative heart could have proven fatal one day, if he fell in love with someone worse. Even Vulcan was about to kill him. Also, drowning is the same fate Rafal would have had if he had lost to James Hook in the sea.
When Rafal says: “Where’s your right hand?” I originally intended for it to just be a way to ask Rhian: “Where’s your second-in-command (meaning: Dean Hook)?” The phrase right hand would have been interchangeable with any synonym. Though coincidentally, I discovered that this was an unintentionally fitting choice of words. The original Captain Hook’s right hand in Peter and Wendy was replaced by a hook, so Rhian’s figurative “right hand” has been replaced by a Hook, James Hook.
Rafal felt like he’d been impaled. - A reference to Rafal’s sacrifice in Rise.
“I fix everything.” Rafal berated. “And then what? Do I get any credit? I don’t care whether I do.” - I let Rafal be a hypocrite here because it humanizes him. (Rhian gets his hypocritical moment in the sun later. It’s meant to showcase that they’re both in the wrong.) I think it shows how skewed his perspective has become, maybe, ’cause he does want recognition? But anyway, Rafal is far gone, too steeped in his pride (and his probable superiority complex) as compared to canon Rafal.
Do you want your subordinates to hail and herald you like a martyr, Rhian? - Foreshadowing Rhian’s death, again.
To let rot and turn to dust in the storybooks. - A reference to Rafal’s demise in TLEA.
Approaching smoothly, he loomed over Rhian, and hooked his hand under Rhian’s chin, - A reference to James Hook.
“I almost drowned to know that which you don’t.” He dropped his hand, and Rhian’s head nodded forward like a sodden mass. - Drowning, heavy imagery, and the effects of Rhian's magic-induced paralysis.
Rhian quailed in Rafal’s grip. - Rafal’s bird motif.
Rafal’s suit flickered to black for a moment, burnt and blackened, a scorched figure against the white, and Rhian shook his head vaguely, as if to dislodge water. Surely, he was hallucinating. - Another reference to Rafal’s burning-to-ash death in TLEA, foreshadowing Rafal wearing all-black eventually, and drowning imagery.
He was hollow and numb, like an effigy. - A reference to how Rafal’s influence caused Sophie to feel emotionally-numb in TLEA, except this time it's his own soul cooling. Also, burning imagery in the bit about the effigy.
They were a specter of what they’d once been. - Rhian’s ghost foreshadowing.
And then, clarity in denial:
“I'm not Evil—I can't be," Rhian choked.
“And I'm not Good. I wasn’t, even when I had you.” Rafal’s finger burned with a black glow, blotting out the light in the echoing, empty room. He shot a Stun Spell at Rhian.
“I don't want to die.”
Rafal seized one of Rhian’s wrists to keep him from moving. “You’re human, Rhian,” Rafal said as he touched his brother’s face gently. “As in mortal.” He drew a dagger from his side, and held it steady above Rhian’s heart.
Did anyone catch this book 1 reference I alluded to?
This whole section is a backwards version of Agatha and Sophie’s final conversation in book 1 as Sophie dies. If it’s not a callback, then it’s a “call-forward.” First, Sophie gets over her delusions of Goodness and her denial of her Evil, at least partly by the end. Here, Rhian never has the time for that revelation. Agatha tells Sophie that she’s not Evil, she’s human, and brings her back to life. I decided to have Rafal use a spin on the familiar words. To echo them in a more sinister way because he’s paralyzed Rhian, and is about to kill him, not revive him. Thus, the meaning of human was twisted.
“No, Rafal! I forgive you. I love you,” Rhian gasped. - Time for Rhian’s hypocritical moment! He’s trying to follow the Rules (Defend. Forgive. Help. Give. Love.) again in a slapdash way because he’s desperate to bridge the rift between him and Rafal. It’s too little, too late. This was his mistake. And, he’s coming from the wrong angle because he still believes he’s in the right, and that he’s the victim. To be fair, he is now. But, if anything, what Rafal wants is an apology from him. Though, they should both apologize, really.
Rhian’s body splintered into pure, golden light, dissipating in the air. - A reference to Rhian’s soul during the Circus of Talents. Also, it seemed fitting for him to return to magic, being a sorcerer himself.
The burning, bright blue sky - The imagery of Rafal's surroundings is intended to be unsettling because I think most murders take place under dreary, bleak, overcast skies, or any time the weather is poor, for obvious mirroring of the mood. Yet, a pleasant summer sky would make it seem like Rafal’s murder was impact-less, and hopefully, it would hurt him more to see that nothing has changed, except their relationship and his own internal conflict. In fact, probably something had to stay the same to reveal the internal turmoil and the changes to Rafal’s psyche. I just thought it made for a better contrast.
his face had gone white at the black depths of his soul. - Black and white imagery. And, now, Rafal has to play both roles himself, as one School Master ruling both Evers and Nevers without anyone to mediate him. This also acts as a tribute to the swans of the School crest.
His hands were pale, shaking, and blue-veined. - A nod to James Hook’s blue blood.
Once pillars, that stood for Good and Evil. Stable and constant. - I compared the brothers to pillars because I wanted the act of fratricide to feel like an act of seismic effects/proportions, shaking the Woods to its very core, overturning all existing structures and the preconceived notions of Good and Evil.
Also, I tried to mimic the mood/tone in book 1 from that scene where rain washes the glitter out of Sophie’s skin, and Agatha leaves her, taking the umbrella or something. There’s a rift between the two, and Agatha basically refuses to help Sophie anymore until Sophie listens to her, or helps herself.
Love had burned Rafal, every time, like a sorcerer of the New tales, lashed to a stake. - Burning imagery. Foreshadowing to what Rafal believes the new tales will be like because he's secured Evil’s losing streak. Also, a reference to the New Evil regime in TLEA.
Aside from “Fear and Loathing” by MARINA which I thought fit thematically, I think “the last beautiful thing I saw is the thing that blinded me” has visceral imagery that matched the concept of my imagery. Overall, the song is haunting, cinematic, and climatic.
My foot fell upon your grave
Like a pressure point
Hidden beneath the soil
Down came sheets of pouring hail
I sheltered in a church's arch within
From the shards of glass falling so pale
And I look up, and saw the sun
It separated all the colors
And the ice, into my eyes
It fell and left me blind
That was the last thing that I saw:
The fractured glass and its downpour
I felt the blood mix with the water
And I didn't see no more
The white light features here, as well as the ice in the person’s eyes. I connected this to the figurative ice in Rafal’s eyes. Also, the last beautiful sight a person has blinding them could refer to both Rafal’s “death” and Rhian’s death. They both see the other in their final seconds together, and the remnants of their beautiful relationship before Rafal resorts to extremist actions, subscribing to the weird, self-fulfilling, tragic prophecy that he neglected to tell Rhian about.
I was tempted to include more diction with religious connotations altogether, but mostly, I left it at cathedral and martyr. I thought acolytes in place of followers would be unsubtle, and a stretch to be in character with Rafal’s brand of mocking.
I also almost kept a reference to August Sader in how Rafal could have had a thought about how his brother was under his nose this whole time, his nemesis. And, how they were in a fairy tale. Anything could happen in a fairy tale. But, it felt too intentional, like he had a plan, and reasoning to back it up. So, it had to be cut. Rafal’s decision to kill Rhian was meant to be more of a split-second, impulsive one.
“Salt & Storybook” Analysis and Trivia
@anobody277642 If you’re interested, I will take your reblog as an invitation to pinpoint some of the other things that went into the whump fic. Sorry in advance about the length. You can disregard this if you want.
If anyone has any questions or would like clarification, don’t hesitate to ask!
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First though:
1. You were absolutely correct about Rafal’s Bird Motif! And yes, there are a few other instances wherein it appears. (I will list and explain the remaining ones later.)
(And I’ll go through everything in a vaguely chronological order after I respond to your points, because, honestly, that’s the easiest way for me to keep track.)
2. You are indeed correct about the bookcase! It was a direct callback to that TLEA moment.
3. Yes, that was intentional. I think I paraphrased a line that occurs around the point of Rafal’s return to the School in Rise, while Rhian’s in exile.
4. Interesting! I will take you at your word on this one since I’ve forgotten how exactly that happened specifically. I thought it happened at the end of AWWP, but Tedros frequently gallivants around shirtless, so I just… don’t know. I’m sure you’re right nonetheless.
5. That section was not intended to evoke the Black Swan gold, but it could. Actually, I had slightly different thoughts around it.
I just invented these hummingbirds because I thought they'd fit and they worked in line with the bird motif. Also, their being "vampiric" parallels Vulcan himself—matching types of villainy and all.
Plus, I had been thinking of the Capitol's biochemical warfare in the Hunger Games, with their Mutts. This could be a less technologically-advanced form of that, in the world of the Endless Woods.
Besides, Akgul was canonically a prosperous kingdom and did mine during the day only to carouse all night, which I think does work with this concept starting up in the first place, with these birds as their "watchmen,” to safeguard all that wealth required to maintain their lifestyles.
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Additional things of note:
1. Foreshadowing of the literal salt that appears later:
“The floor crunched underfoot with every step he took, a mosaic of inedible salt and pepper,”
2. The excerpt of the Vulcan song from Rise, I decided to include:
It exemplifies Rafal’s whimsy and mockery as character traits I sometimes forget about. I do have more to say about this, but instead, it will go into a future post since it would divert too far from this.
3. The shifting frequency at which Rafal drinks and how I tried to narrow the span of time/reduce the number of words between every time he interacts with his wineglass:
Essentially, I wanted to increase the frequency of Rafal reaching for his drink or sipping it and decrease the proximity of those lines in the narration itself to do so, so it would happen more and more often, narrowing the focus as an effect. That way, it’d be as if he’s losing control in the most minor of ways to start us off, down his decline into misery.
The whole decision to try to contextualize and justify the whump in the first place was kind of an interesting phase as well since it seemed to require perhaps more actual thought and reasoning than the pure action sequence sections did? I tried to integrate the tower’s design features into the setting and incorporate nearly every one of Vulcan’s named objects, so overall I’d be accurate to canon, while attempting to sound novel in my slightly altered descriptions of them.
4. This probably unobtrusive line:
“Here, he’d remain, ’til the end of time.”
This thought is stated positively here, yet it is given a negative spin much later, and is turned on its head (around the part about the bandages and musings about living an immortal life).
5. When Rafal burns Vulcan’s things in a pyre:
Rafal burns something; Rafal gets burnt himself—it’s a really loose line of cause and effect, and a close equivalency. I wanted it to seem like it was "an eye for an eye" situation in some sense.
6. Possibly symbolic foreshadowing?:
“the deformed periscope Rafal had knocked the lenses out of,”
This was unintentional, but I realized that this line could be read as Rafal losing his physical sight later, temporarily, and also losing his rational judgment (or “foresight,”) while it's impaired by his drinking. I mean, he does it to himself. It’s not anyone else’s fault.
7. I wanted the thermal imagery I deployed to parallel the state of the plot:
“The rising heat was hellish.”
Like: rising heat? Rising stakes. It’s the start to all the rest of the Hell references since what he goes through is obviously hellish in its own right.
8. Overall, how unreliable Rafal’s narration is:
“Then he set to work, freeing the storybooks.”
Yeah right. He’s an oppressor if anything. Again, true enough yet horrendously biased, acting as if he's the savior, which, that’s fair. He sort of was for a short run in Rise. But still. It's another instance of: look how full of himself this man truly is.
Another such instance of his own biases:
“charting such a course for the students once again under his eminent tutelage.”
And then, there’s several other instances of unreliability in which he either believes he’s shouldering all the responsibility, or in which he devalues Rhian directly and/or makes false statements about Rhian.
The truth is, Rafal won't let anyone else clean up the literal and plot-level messes. He thinks everyone else is incapable, when they're truly not. Except, he's rather earned the right to think that way, given the catastrophes he's had to deal with in the past, only to unfortunately be proven right by his false belief, time and time again, effectively reinforcing it—all due to horrific happenstance. Thus, from a more sympathetic angle, I don't 100% blame him for thinking that way. The problem is: he’s just handicapping himself doing it all solo.
9. These lines and the irony:
“He wasn’t Rhian’s personal manservant. What a degrading role that would be.”
Is he not though? Truly? And yet, Rhian implicitly expected Rafal to clean up for him later on. Well, I’d like to think Rafal’s just in denial about his “role.”
10. Parallel sentence structure:
“He and he alone would restore the storybooks to their former, casual glory in their places of honor, just as the brothers themselves had been restored by the Pen.”
I suppose you could say this relates to the Meleager reference (coming up soon, wait a bit) about lives tied to the storybooks. Thus, the storybooks and the brothers have the same fates. Both fall. Some from the shelves. And those two from power, from the Storian's grace.
11. Reference to how Rafal did this once before in Rise:
“Naturally, Rafal stacked all of Evil’s tales at the top of the tower’s shelves, for his own reference.”
12. A double meaning:
“That batty substitute had no place in his School.”
13. This parallels Rhian's small cut later:
“his pale hand was dotted with pinpricks of blood.”
14. In my opinion? This bit is massively ironic (or that was my intention, at least):
“Rafal tended to cast off pain with ease, like it was just another one of his overcoats.”
15. Could be interpreted as an appearance of the bird motif:
“In a glaring, grandiose script, the tale’s cover read: THE UGLY DUCKLING.”
But actually, it's simply a reference to Vulcan calling Rhian "duckling," which I assumed would and could enrage Rafal.
16. More of Rafal’s bird motif:
“as if he were plucking feathers from a wild fowl to be cooked”
17. This next one, which you pointed out, does a few other things, too:
“It caught on the fireplace’s grate, angled like a broken bird.”
It’s not only the bird motif but foreshadowing. Rafal himself becomes the “broken bird,” of course.
To some extent, what he does to the storybook happens to him. Again, it’s the fairy-tale element of karmic equivalencies, of deeds being paid back or paid forth to the next in a sequence (or there’s Newton’s third law). I just felt like it could be a law of their world or of classic fairy tales as a whole. The balance.
Also, this may be a stretch—but you could view the storybook as functioning like a sinister talisman of a certain kind. It being tossed into the fire right before Rafal’s torture began could be read as similar to Meleager's life being tied to a piece of wood, in classical mythology. He died when it was burnt.
In Rafal's case here, the burning storybook could represent how he's brought punishment onto himself, marking himself as not wholly a victim but as a deeply flawed vandal.
And, fun fact: in the myth, when Meleager's prophesied death came true, his sisters were turned into guineafowl. So, more birds!
18. The Storian’s pov leaking through, taking over the narrative momentarily, at various times, just as it overpowers Rafal:
“The Pen’s tip brightened to a blinding, radiant, white pinprick, as if it were readying itself to defend its tales from the scourge of Evil it had allowed to take up residence in its tower.”
This also serves as one of the demon references, even if it’s indirect. We know Rafal calls the Pen “the little devil,” but what if that sentiment were mutual? Could it be applied in the other direction? Like: that demon! That monster of the School Master! All he does is wreak havoc!
19. Rafal is light-averse and thus, “dark:”
“Rafal squinted at the light.”
Yes, this is only justified situationally in the fic, by the sheer brightness of the Storian in that one moment. I’m fairly sure it’s not actual canon that he avoids bright lights, but it could explain why Evil’s castle was dimly lit, and that could serve as a counterpoint to his typically being insensitive toward most stimuli, however implicit it may be. (Maybe, I’m just projecting because I avoid bright lights under certain circumstances, haha.)
In fact, this was not intentionally set up in this way for the sake of the fic, but I figured it would fit my case to point it out now. The same thing happens later with Rhian’s gold light anyway.
20. Bird motif again:
“The storybook’s binding rocketed out from its resting place, where it had nested in the grate, flying at him like a missile, sizzling through the air, like a shot bird with its flaming wingspan spread, its front and back covers open, its spine cracked.”
21. A distorted view of himself:
“Yet first, Rafal strained his neck and examined his distorted, many-eyed reflections in the shards beneath him,”
For all the eyes present, he truly lacked the foresight that could’ve saved him here. And, his self-image changed, especially after the Rise morality-reversal plot twist and his supposed “Goodness.” So, this is a lead-up to that since that event hasn’t happened yet, considering where I would hypothetically insert this fic into the duology’s timeline.
The reflections could also be read as an indirect reference to the mythological figure Argus Panoptes or to the structure of a panopticon in a prison.
Like: Oh, you live in a tower cell? Isn't that basically a form of imprisonment, aside from the imprisonment of an eternal life?
For reference, here is a definition of “panopticon” from the internet:
“The concept is to allow all prisoners of an institution to be observed by a single corrections officer, without the inmates knowing whether or not they are being watched.”
This would imply the Storian is the brothers' prison warden. And, of course, Rafal didn’t know he was being watched earlier, by the Pen.
22. Evil thorn motif:
“thin rivulets of blood trickling down his neck, criss-crossing in a fine, thorny latticework, ultimately staining his starched, white shirt collar.”
This motif is just common imagery in the series, and I wanted to imitate it here, without the use of literal thorns.
23. Signaling Rafal’s personality through a kind of visual shorthand:
“he unbuttoned the top button of his shirt, the one, restrictive one that always pressed against the base of his throat, so he could breathe properly and catch his breath.”
He's often so stiff and buttoned-up in demeanor, so I wanted to make that literal.
24. Every time a thought like this crosses his mind:
“He’d served the absurd, seemingly arbitrary punishment the Pen had dealt him and it was now well over with.”
Every time he thinks it's all over, it's actually the start of a new wave of pain. For the dramatic irony, I just wanted him to be wrong, haha. “Arbitrary” is also incorrect; he’s just not self-aware enough to see everything for himself.
25. Light and dark imagery:
“As it neared, the bookcase grew larger and larger in Rafal’s sightline, rushing forward rapidly, encroaching on him, almost eclipsing him.”
It could connect to Rhian’s light later, the moment Rafal was discovered in the dark.
26. Bird motif:
“his vision dimmed, turning to a feathery blur.”
27. The “suffocating weight of history” fits the Nevers themselves in general, past their not-yet-existent 200-year losing streak. Thus, this could be considered foreshadowing on a larger scale.
28. The final bird motif:
“The structure of the shelf collapsed further, the more he struggled beneath it, like a snare closing in on a bird, threatening to cut off its circulation—”
And this one is specific. It could be considered my very niche reference to the “springes to catch woodcocks" moment in Shakespeare’s Hamlet. Huzzah!
29. The Milton reference:
“His students would dance over his grave—dancing in the chequer’d shade… come forth to play, on a sunshine holiday—how’d that line go? And which tale was it from?”
As I was thinking about this line while writing, I realized I had made a mistake, and yet, the mistake actually served to further the story.
First, John Milton was a poet from the 17th century and the most recently dated tales in the world of SGE are from the early 1900s (Peter Pan), meaning, Milton’s body of work could plausibly exist in the Endless Woods, depending on how loose the Woods’ parameters of what a “fairy tale” could cover are.
Here’s the catch though:
As a writer, Milton was hyper-literary, and I’m not sure if he ever did write for children, seeing as there were many fairy tales that were eventually sanitized and assigned morals for children’s consumption. (Back in the day, fairy tales were once considered more low-brow literature, being as scandalous and riveting as they were, like their time period’s “thriller films” or “commercial/genre fiction,” even if a lot of them were told through oral storytelling that could be modified when there were children in the audience.)
Moving on, Milton references classical mythology a lot in his work, which is, in a way, a close relative of fairy tales, or at the very least, part of humanity’s collective folklore. Therefore, could Milton's work exist in the Endless Woods? Quite possibly.
Ok, this part could be controversial, but Rafal literally works in academia, so I think he’d be familiar with some poets. Then, to elaborate on his confusion: he conflates two, entirely different poems while drunk.
And, that line, “[...] dancing in the chequer’d shade [...,]” from the poem “L’ Allegro” stuck with me. Something about it, the imagery probably, just made it take root in my head, so I had Rafal make the same mistake I had momentarily made, attributing that line to the other, second poem, the epic “Paradise Lost,” that recalls the “tale” of Satan's fall.
Here's an excerpt from “L’ Allegro”:
“When the merry bells ring round, And the jocund rebecks sound To many a youth, and many a maid, Dancing in the chequer'd shade; And young and old come forth to play On a sunshine holiday, Till the live-long daylight fail;”
30. The recurring demon, “heathen,” or “monster” in the dark comparisons and more of the Storian’s pov dominating for a second:
“Wrapped in a delirium, he thought of the sprawling tale of Satan’s fall. Demon, chastened and exiled. Hell. What had he gotten himself into? Hell.”
“That was the moment the Storian chose to attack with a new vengeance, redoubling its efforts against Evil incarnate.”
31. The same material the plates in TLEA were made of, which Sophie commented on—a call forward in time (since I can’t call it “foreshadowing” in any meaningful way):
“His ears rang with the strident sounds of shattering bone china”
So, I assumed the brothers would have those plates now since why not?
32. The lack of an apology to Rhian:
“But could apologizing be any worse than where he lay now? Perhaps, he should.”
Rafal doesn't apologize later, mainly because I realized his feeling any kind of remorse would possibly be a step too far and too sympathetic. He can't possibly be that Good, at least not at this point in time?
Also, I wanted the thrill of a potential set-up, like a red herring, only to subvert it in the end. Thus, Rhian gets no apology whatsoever and Rafal mistreats him in return with his harsh, cutting words—just after he was mistreated by the Pen! Ergo, there's an underlying cycle of abuse going on here, like they’re playing pass the parcel (pain).
33. Betrayal:
“In that instant, his vision whirled, reddening, and his body betrayed him, surrendering to the Pen as he blacked out.”
I specifically felt like I just had to use the word "betray" because it fit the recurrent "everyone is a traitor" theme in Rise. Rafal constantly and always betrays and gets betrayed, so why not have it happen on the self level?
34. Another TLEA reference:
“New, youthful skin was already beginning to pave over his cuts,”
This was a call forward to when Excalibur cleaved through his skull, except it’s a different area of his body healing.
35. TLEA zombie/necromancer reference:
“A copious number of bandages dangled from his outstretched arms as he shuffled back into the main chamber of the tower like one of the undead.”
36. Embalming and Sherlock Holmes references:
“At last, when he was partly wrapped up, he resembled a dehydrated corpse that would be preserved for the rest of time, forever bound to his duties, like one of the undead, who hadn’t the mind to know when to let go, tugged along by the colorless skein of an immortal life.”
Here, I riffed at mummification and the general concept of achieving an eternal life of the soul by preserving the corporeal body, and that all marginally related to the concept of immortality in the flesh, not just an immortal soul.
And here is a probably semi-famous Sir Arthur Conan Doyle quotation I drew from:
“There's the scarlet thread of murder running through the colourless skein of life, and our duty is to unravel it, and isolate it, and expose every inch of it.”
In truth, I haven't read much of Doyle’s work at all, yet I knew enough to twist this to fit my purposes of alluding to misery, immortality, and the banality of life, of living, of acting for nothing when everything is futile, no matter what you do in a world governed by predestination.
37. The omnipresent thematic idea of literal darkness = hopelessness and misery and Rafal’s aversion to light again:
“He didn’t bother to light a candle.”
This same idea would also apply to the “moonless night” Rhian observes later.
38. Situational/dramatic irony:
“His brother was often a spoilsport and Rhian wouldn’t have been surprised if Rafal had tossed their last bottle.”
Rhian ends up with many subverted expectations. I may’ve exaggerated it a lot, in retrospect. Yet, these expectations demonstrate how the twins aren’t actually in sync, despite being magically-inclined twins.
39. Rhian counting his chickens before they’ve hatched (not technically the bird motif though):
“Indeed, maybe the Pen really was on his side, and Rhian could check that item off his list now.”
40. A very slight nod to Dorothy and the Wizard of Oz (a “fairy tale” in the SGE world iirc):
“the stairwell was coated in dust, like it had been beset by a cyclone of some kind.”
41. Book one reference:
“Now, it wasn’t unlike the Nevers themselves to bathe in dust,”
I think Agatha lied and claimed she took dust baths, when Tedros accused her of being a witch.
42. Biblical reference/Rhian-as-God imagery:
“Rhian lit his fingerglow. It burned with warm, pure, golden light, gilding the stones around him. He would vanquish any threat that lay ahead of him.”
“a scene of total carnage flashed into existence.”
I’d like to think that this particular diction harkens back to God creating the world, like this:
"And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters. And God said, Let there be light: and there was light. And God saw the light, and it was good; and God divided the light from the darkness."
Also, later, Rhian is backlit in the doorway and Rafal is blinded.
These bits happened sort of serendipitously while I was writing, when I realized I had a clear set-up to use with Rhian’s light, in contrast to Rafal's "heathen"/dark “monster.”
43. The curtains and Rhian’s wrong-headed assumption:
“the presumably monster-clawed, blood-encrusted, silver curtains”
I imagined that Rhian, as well as Rafal, would’ve become more paranoid about intruders after the Vulcan incident, so that’s why he jumps to the worst possible (conceivable) conclusion (aside from the inconceivable: Rafal literally being the torture victim).
But, all this goes back to Rafal, within his world’s context, being a skeptic, an “atheist,” or a disbelieving "heathen" of some kind, especially because Rhian was always more faithful with his comparatively more unquestioning belief in the Pen.
44. Rhian’s (unconscious) word choice:
“in the confines of his own home.”
Clearly, “home” and “confines” are in conflict, and besides, Rhian is confined to the outer limits of his role as a School Master, to limited human contact, relationships, and possibly, geographical areas. We could assume that both brothers were sort of supposed to remain at the School. Forever.
45. Rhian’s assumptive dialogue:
“Where’s our intruder then? Have you burnt up the corpse?”
Ideally, Rhian's first assumption was intended to characterize both brothers at the same time. I, personally, thought it was a little funny, and ironic that in Rhian’s mind, the blood could never be Rafal’s.
46. The ice:
“Ice. Bring me ice.”
My hope was that this line came across as blisteringly cold, so the ice could work a dual purpose in the story.
Rafal ices Rhian out, symbolically and literally, by not telling him a thing. He leaves Rhian in the dark about what went on while he was gone. And, by ordering him away, to get the actual ice, Rafal literally sends Rhian away.
47. “The Evil School Master” epithet:
“Now,” the Evil School Master cut out caustically. “And not a word about the Pen favoring Good.”
Using “the Evil School Master” reduced the psychic distance between Rhian’s pov and his brother. I felt as if it were a better decision than calling Rafal “Rafal” during that particular moment since he is leaning more into his Storian-given role as opposed to being his more human self.
Rhian may not be as close to Rafal anymore, with this one-day time gap in his knowledge, and I wanted to represent that state in some way, hence the use of the epithet.
Additionally, it’s also the Evil School Master, who, as an authority over his students, reinforces and perpetuates that very same cycle of violence, when he tortures them in Rise. And, considering that this fic slots into a hypothetical space in the canon timeline prior to the Doom Room’s construction, we could say that this torture event theoretically could’ve made him worse. It could’ve led him to inflicting more pain back onto his Never students.
This line is probably one of my favorites, partly because I had the idea to use the verb “cut out,” seeing as Rafal was cut up and figuratively cuts Rhian back. It wouldn’t only be the students as his victims. He dealt back the pain he received to Rhian.
48. Not-Fun Fact: A long time ago, several days or weeks after I had the initial concept for this fic, I somehow walked into and cut my shin on a sharp, metal chair edge. And the interesting thing I learned from that encounter is that certain things can cut through fabric more easily than you’d think.
49. Last line:
“Rafal hadn’t learnt his lesson and never would.”
I wanted to try to go for maximum impact with the last line, so this line played with the idea of: is Rafal more subdued or not by the end of it all? And the answer had to be “no,” which is why I hope it read as ominous or heavy.
I'd like to think nothing of him would change. He’d carry himself with the same defiant, unbreakable spirit as always (probably).
By my interpretation, the actual change in him would be that he leans into being a slightly more extreme version of himself, that he’s more paranoid. Or, at least, that’s how he’s supposed to have changed, over the course of this story.
My second intention with the last line was to allude to future Evil Rhian, worsened by Rafal’s verbal mistreatment of him. So again, we have the theme of Rafal dooming himself!
50. Absurdism and Kurt Vonnegut:
I just learned that apparently this fic could possibly fall under the category of absurdist fiction (because immortality suddenly becomes slightly undesirable to Rafal, unlike in canon):
“Absurdist fiction is often used interchangeably with ‘absurdism.’ What is absurdism? It is a style of writing that calls existential concepts (such as “truth” or “value”) into question. It portrays the experiences of characters in situations who cannot find purpose or meaning in their lives or actions.
Absurdist fiction writing leans into unconventional imagery, plot structures, and formats to convey meaning. It is a book genre defined by pervasive themes of nihilism, existentialism, and purposelessness.
While absurdism aims to derive purpose from a seemingly pointless or meaningless event, this doesn't mean the event is an inconsequential one—in fact, most absurdist fiction is about traumatic experiences.
[...] Traditional storytelling uses systems like setup and payoff, playing on audience expectation and tailoring reality to make a satisfying narrative. But life isn’t like that. Trauma isn’t like that. And neither is absurdist fiction.”
I had tried using an online writing style analyzer on the completed fic, and I got Kurt Vonnegut as a result. I had never read his work, so when I started to do some research about it, I stumbled onto the topic of absurdism, which was apparently a decent match by sheer coincidence.
Here are two sources on absurdism, style, and verbiage:
https://www.sparknotes.com/lit/slaughter/style/