( Out Of The Blue | Verse ) - Tumblr Posts

@getlostsqdwrd​ said: “ i’ve got you, you’re safe. ” ( tony )

panic fills the trembling cavity of his chest, and—with every second passed, with every minute he couldn’t stop, it made it harder and harder to breathe and think. harder to stop pacing around the room, and definitely harder to focus on any other thing than the last minutes of his life flashing over and over again in front of his eyes. it’s done, he thinks. it happened. the only shield that he had, the only refuge where he could hide from the sudden nightmare that was his hero identity was gone, and there was no way he could have things go to what they used to be. to how it was when he could only be a kid, a student. someone not important, AND DEFINITELY, someone without a presumed murder attached to his name. 

“ i’m not. i’m—i’m not. i really—i—i didn’t know. he never told me—he never told me anything! he never said this was going to happen, i—i’m— ” scared, and tired, and a little sick even, telling by the weird feeling in his guts and throat and the dizziness in his head. he stops. pauses, forced by his state while a hand finds support in the nearest wall and he closes his eyes to make his body rest up a bit. if anything. maybe in hope that when opening them again everything might have vanished, like a bad dream he never intended to have.

but… whatever hope he has crumbled under the realization of one little thing : the world knows.

the world knows and probably there are people wanting to talk with may. with ned, with mj.

there’d be people who’d want to make questions. and yes, just like that, there might be people now who’d want to make them wrong for the ones he has helped to put behind the bars.

“ i have to go. ” he realizes, in a flash. without really considering what he should or shouldn’t do in a moment such as that. “ mr stark, i have to go. i have to warn them, i have—they might be in danger, someone might come for them and it would be my fault—”

@gcroinya​ said:  ❛  i  have  to  do  this  alone .  ❜ (peter? peter!)

just some time ago, the idea of being left alone would have been too tempting to resist in a time like this. to have others standing up ( heroes, agents, anyone—if he could be honest with himself ) would have meant having a shot of living the life that any of the kids his age were having after the blip. normal—if you could call it like that. just some time ago—and, if by any other reason that would have been the person wearing the suit and standing here with us tonight, maybe, perhaps, he would have taken it. he would have wanted to agree with her in an instant, he thinks. the thought that even guilt and shame would have been better than walking straight in the kind of nightmares that one way or another still managed to found him every other night.

but—( and that's sort of our keyword right now ) but, growingly, a voice in his head urges him to stay and reconsider. plants his feet on the ground and distracts him from the trepidations of his breath.

no, leaving doesn’t feel right to him right now. why, he’s still bound to figure out. but although he doesn't have the age, experience or even some authority on his side, at least he has to try—saying something, somehow.

“ but do you? ” and he has no way of retreating now, none that he can see from here at least. “ and i mean it with all due respect, black widow, ma’am, do you—really, or—is there a reason why you or—or everyone else so far is always coming up with the ‘ i’ll doing on my own’ thing like it’s the only option you guys seem to have, because— ” it hardly ever worked, he thought. it hardly ever could, and it was frustrating to think about it when some of the memories from the last war were fighting to come back to him. things he definitely didn’t wanted to explicit. to others, or himself. 

“ so really, i’m asking to understand, and because i really want to help. why—? ”