Hey Guys! You Ever See That Really Old Movie. Empire Strikes Back? ; Peter Parker - Tumblr Posts

If she knew she would freak out. And when she freaks out, I freak out.

[x]

@getlostsqdwrd​ said: “ i’ve got you, you’re safe. ” ( tony )

panic fills the trembling cavity of his chest, and—with every second passed, with every minute he couldn’t stop, it made it harder and harder to breathe and think. harder to stop pacing around the room, and definitely harder to focus on any other thing than the last minutes of his life flashing over and over again in front of his eyes. it’s done, he thinks. it happened. the only shield that he had, the only refuge where he could hide from the sudden nightmare that was his hero identity was gone, and there was no way he could have things go to what they used to be. to how it was when he could only be a kid, a student. someone not important, AND DEFINITELY, someone without a presumed murder attached to his name. 

“ i’m not. i’m—i’m not. i really—i—i didn’t know. he never told me—he never told me anything! he never said this was going to happen, i—i’m— ” scared, and tired, and a little sick even, telling by the weird feeling in his guts and throat and the dizziness in his head. he stops. pauses, forced by his state while a hand finds support in the nearest wall and he closes his eyes to make his body rest up a bit. if anything. maybe in hope that when opening them again everything might have vanished, like a bad dream he never intended to have.

but… whatever hope he has crumbled under the realization of one little thing : the world knows.

the world knows and probably there are people wanting to talk with may. with ned, with mj.

there’d be people who’d want to make questions. and yes, just like that, there might be people now who’d want to make them wrong for the ones he has helped to put behind the bars.

“ i have to go. ” he realizes, in a flash. without really considering what he should or shouldn’t do in a moment such as that. “ mr stark, i have to go. i have to warn them, i have—they might be in danger, someone might come for them and it would be my fault—”

Everywhere I go I see his face. And the whole world is asking who is going to be the next Iron Man? I don’t know if that’s me, Happy. I’m not Iron Man. You’re not Iron Man. You’re never going to be Iron Man. Nobody could live up to Tony. Not even Tony. Tony was my best friend, and he was a mess. He second-guessed everything he did. He was all over the place. The one thing that he did that he didn’t second-guess was picking you. I don’t think Tony would’ve done what he did if he didn’t know that you were going to be here after he was gone.

Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019) dir. Jon Watts

@getlostsqdwrd​ said: “ it’s okay to be angry, you’re allowed to be upset about what happened to you. ” ( natasha )

and all too suddenly—the crying just stops. 

swollen eyes get fixed on a point on the floor, and—every sound nearby gets muffled under the rhythm of his own frantic heart. everything becomes quiet, peaceful. safe in a way he hasn’t experienced in months now, and it’s all too strange for him. too weird, too unexpected. 

what—he wonders, what happened right there? why now? why, and how long will that sensation stay with him?

peter turns to the agent that addressed him just a moment before, not a sound nor a movement coming out of his body while thoughts tried to reach him with every caution. “ i’m… ” he stops, static in his head and a tremor in his throat. “ i… it’s—it’s not that… ” but he can’t brush it off now, can he? he can’t act like nothing’s happening as he learned to do with everybody else now, with everyone he knows. he’s angry. yes, he’s sad. he has been for a long while now but at the same time he has fought to repress that sentiment to the best of his abilities. quiet it, forget it. hope that the less he thought about it the faster it would disappear in time ( so far, nothing like that has happened to him ).

“ i shouldn’t though. ” and it’s not with the intention to fight her for no reason. it’s not, he promises. “ nothing—nothing wrong really happened to me. i… i—i didn’t have to live five years missing the people i loved, i didn’t lose an arm or anything! i—i— ”

i didn’t die, like tony did.

“ i shouldn’t be angry, i should be alright. i—came out fine, should be happy, and i—keep waiting and waiting for that moment to arrive but it never comes. ” it never happens.

you'll never stop me.

—the amazing spider-man (issue #270)

@getlostsqdwrd​ said: promises are always made, and they are always broken. always. ( gamora post-endgame?? )

if it came to knowing how long he had been there, or—how long it would be until anyone was ready to go, he wouldn’t, for the life of him, be able to give you another answer that wasn’t an empty stare, or an even emptier silence.

peter could associate the void he could feel ( everywhere, and—somehow, nowhere at all ) to a crying that had to come from him. that had wet his cheeks with salty streams, and left him tired like he has never been in his life. in a way, of course, he could tell he was the source of all that emotion, all while at the same time he felt like everything he had seen and felt belonged to another person. another human, at another time. a blessing, you might well say, or an oddity of a symptom about to come to an end.

to finish in her unexpected words. 

his eyes reach her figure and he wonders, although briefly, about the question of who that woman is. her identity something he cannot place, but the steadiness of her tone so distracting, that for a moment there, he forgets about himself and every bit of his growing pain. “ miss? ” he tries to clean off the tears interfering with his sight; stands up, stumbling at first, more confident in the following motions. reaches for her with one careful hand and the genuine intention to help, in whichever way that can be.

“ i’m—i’m sorry, miss. do you need any help? ” she might, isn’t it? such a phrase, he thinks, can only be talked by someone in sorrow. someone—quite hurted, now or in the past.

Avengers: Infinity War (2018) dir. Joe & Anthony Russo

↳ requested by anonymous

@getlostsqdwrd​ said: perhaps the worst is yet to come. ( loki )

until then—everything about his body and mind had been still and quiet. lost in thought and worrying about every bit in the tale that’s been offered ( through him and through the official reports, that’s it ). about aliens falling from the sky and a kingdom escaping their rightful home. about spaceships—ACTUAL PEOPLE traveling among the stars and the big expectations set on someone’s shoulders. and it is then, with those last words coming from the prince kept in custody a few feet away from him, that the kid is forced to stop and look in the other’s direction. innocent, fretful eyes not distrustful of the certainty he has used until now to explain the situation, but daring. aggravated even. fightful in a way youth truly knows.

“ you don’t know that! ” he begins. a mouth that tenses and trembles looking for the rightful words to explain himself. “ and neither do i! and—yeah this—uh, this SHIELD guys probably don’t know what to do with you right now, but—but that doesn’t mean they can’t change their mind, does it? thor! right? there’s—there’s thor! he could say something about you! they have to listen to us, to anyone. they—they have to. ” he insists, fully committed with this unexpected enterprise. “ they… have to, right? ”

if anything, one had to applaud his chivalry ( or whatever strange reasons that took one kid to stand with one very accused alien noble, that is ).

@hisfasttemper​ || cont.

AND THAT WAS—actually, something peter couldn’t contradict, no. at least—from what he have got to see ( not much, and not from very long, but there were some notes that had already been made, of course ) whoever he was, independently of who he had ever been, and despite of the fact that pietro maximoff has been named an official ( an actual, real, part of the team ) avenger, the man standing in front of him had the absolutely smallest concerns about what should and shouldn’t be done in a country such like theirs. was that bad? no. was he against it? no again. was he really curious about it and wondering how much did the rest of the avengers knew and didn’t know about it? oh, absolutely yes. yes, he really, really was.

“ but it does! it does. that’s the thing, it does, don’t you see? ” he exclaimed with big eyes and the kind of expression you couldn’t simply associate with a scolding or the biggest excitement of them all ( for it was confusing maybe even to himself, in fact ) “ you are—you are one of them now, don’t you? one of the avengers? i—i i mean, doesn’t that means you have to do the hero thing like all day long or— ”

a series of hand gestures followed his unfinished sentence. a series of gestures that maybe didn’t mean anything or maybe everything at all. then silence, then waiting for an answer. looking at him dead serious in the face and as if this was the ultimate question to be solved in their existence. and truly, truly, trying to hold back the thought  that whatever he said, whatever he implied right now, would truly have an impact on how he had been trying to win his very own avenger badge for most of the last month or so. 

or more, maybe more. 

“ also—i have 5% left on my phone so if you want me to record you doing the thing you mentioned a minute ago we kinda have to get going now, just so you know. ”

# resourceful??

Peter “scrunch face” Parker 😖

(   mysterio   )

Quentin rose a brow at the boy’s words. That certainly wasn’t what he was expecting. “Peter…” he began, fighting the amusement that wanted to peek through at his condition. “This isn’t a hostage situation. I’m not barricading you in. The two of you can leave. I’m not going to stop you.” But it would certainly be a mistake for Peter to make. Because if Peter didn’t play his part yet again, him and his friends were going to have to pay the price.

To prove his good intentions, he stepped to the side slightly. Giving the girl enough room to leave if she so chose to. Anything to make him seem less threatening in this moment. A predator eyeing up its prey the way a wolf hides in sheep’s clothing. He needed Peter to trust him. Everything would go so much smoother if Peter trusted him. Believed in him the way he believed in Tony fucking Stark. After all, if he was going to be the next Iron Man, it was almost too fitting if he took his protege under his wing as well.

“You probably think terribly of me. I don’t blame you, but nothing is without reason. The world has been a little messed up since the blip. Everyone trying to makeup for all those lost years. They’re scared and unsure. People need something to believe in.”

everything—every single bit in him fights to remain as focused as he is right now. tense, aggravated. moved and forged by the findings he and mj made just a moment ago and that could mean so many things—so many DARK, DIFFICULT, bad things. and if he had been any other ! one is tempted to think, if any other had been the man standing in front of him it would have been so much easier to distrust and remain enraged by the situation. so much easier to not give in to the niceness of his words and the way he moves—steps aside and assures them of the freedom they still have. but—at the same time, there’s something about him that starts to bring down his walls. something… so civil, so concerned, so genuine. he states that she can go and there’s not a threat he can perceive, not a lie he ought to anticipate, and although he wouldn’t want to ! he is distracted by that. he is distracted now, and even more when she grasps his forearm and he turns to her with a silent exchange of stares. she doesn’t want to go and she begs her to leave; she asks if he’s really sure and he is ( but you are not, i am, you are not, i am ! go, please, go ) he thinks she doesn’t buy it in the end but she agrees all the same, she’s smart like that. smarter than everyone he knows really, and he only hopes she’s smart enough not to do something that could compromise the safety of everyone here.

hopefully, that is.

michelle leaves and he quickly shoots the door so his webs are there to interfere with anyone who’d want to enter his room. all of his attention completely now on the man waiting for him, just a few steps ahead. “ maybe. okay ! maybe. but—if that’s what they need, they—they have heroes already. thor, and the falcon, and that—that one king guy with ladies soldiers and all his armies and everything. and i—i know there’s a lot of talking about who—” but he has to stop himself right there. a memory, one coming too soon and too sharply for his still scarring self. almost too fast for him to completely stop before saying it. “ about who—who’ll be the next... iron man and—everything, but— ” he forces—pushes himself to say, but he can’t. 

he wants to but he can’t—say it, verbalize it. even thinking about him becomes too hard to even try for too long right now.

“ please, can’t we stop this? it’s—it’s not right, and you know what? if we talk to fury maybe he’ll understand—i’ll help you make him understand—we just— ”

I’ve heard someone say that about us before (do not tag as ship)

Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019) dir. Jon Watts

@thunderbringer​ said: “ whatever you need, i’m here. ”

perhaps it should be noted here that—ever since the war, from that last moment and growingly through the days, peter has seen himself getting lost in thought for longer segments of the day. most of the time, in fact. without meaning to ! no, without intentions of going silent and slowly distancing from wherever his two feet were planting at any given moment. sometimes, alone, sitting over his bed and with nothing but the distant company of his phone playing a video over and over again. at other times, like now, in the middle of listening to someone else. surrounded by many and knowing there’s a lot more he should be doing other than staring at his glass. quiet, waiting for someone to come and drag him out of such an atemporal state.

and that’s may, usually. actually—it’s only her. and he has gotten used to her shoulder grabs just enough so the action of coming back is easier than anything by now.

but another voice makes an appearance, and suddenly, waking up it’s like reaching the surface and becoming capable of breathing again, out of the blue. he is not scared, no. this is not wrong but he is surprised. first—because he couldn’t tell how long he had been gone this time ( if seconds of pure silence or minutes in which the adults didn’t want to make a remark on his absence ) and second, because there’s no way he could not know who that voice belonged to, and NEVER—never in a million years ( this you must believe of him ) the kid would have thought someone like him could have repaired in his ( otherwise unimportant, ordinary, if you may ) existence as a superhero ( or even, human being ).

but here’s a difference—if this had happened some time ago, peter ( easily excited, full of wonder peter parker ) wouldn’t have been able to contain himself in front of someone like him, someone he had been DYING TO MEET for just too long. questions would have been asked, praises must have followed, advice DEFINITELY would have been asked. everything, just in case he didn’t get a chance to interview the god of thunder in too long. but—now? while certainly his heart responded to the shock this represented for him, something ( a lot more tired, heavily wounded ) stared back from the table he had approached to distract himself from the service they were attending. attentive, of course, but devoid of the energy he so much would have wanted or needed in a moment such as that. 

his mouth opens but no words appear in the world. he knows—HE REALLY KNOWS he should answer something, anything, but his brain struggles with meanings and all seems to indicate he won't be able to make the kind of first impression he would have dreamt of. instead, he manages to say, plainly and not blinking this whole time— “ he told you who i am? ”

out of impulse, without thinking too much. but managing to hear himself at the last second, shaking his head and trying to add to those half-formulated thoughts. ashamed, perhaps, that he had rushed to make himself sound that important, or as if anything in his words had made him sound any more like the little child he already looked like in a room full of gods and superheroes. “ i—i mean, maybe you don’t who i am. that’s fine, it’s just—since you said that, i’m—i didn’t meant to—”

or perhaps he truly wanted that, a little bit of it. any proof that he had been recognized at some point as an ally. as part of the team. 

Okay maybe I'm grasping at nothing, but hear me out:

We all know Peter has spidey senses. He used them to defeat Mysterio in Far From Home.

But we see Peter struggling with them all throughout the movie:

(Peter not sensing the banana)

(Peter not sensing Nick Fury in the room)

(Peter not sensing everything around him in the pub was an illusion)

(Finally, Peter not being able to decide whether Happy is real or fake)

Now here we wonder, why is that happening?

Take into account the events of Infinity War. When Thanos snapped his fingers, unlike others, Peter could sense his death coming, that's why he fell into Tony's arms saying, “Mr Stark I don't feel so good”. Imagine such a terrible thing happening to you, feeling the pain everywhere yet not being able to fix it. This could and HAS led to post traumatic stress in Peter. PTSD leads to changes in the body and impotence is one of them. Also the added trauma of his mentor dying? Anyone's mind could've become fucked up after that.

“Okay, so where are you going with this?” you must be thinking.

Well, what if Peter sensed something was unnatural about the water monster (other than the fact it was a monster made up of water, of course) so he shot something at it, just because? But he turned out to be “wrong” because it went right through the drones. He was right about it, but he didn't know then.

Wrongly sensing something so big like that would have created some serious self doubt in Peter.

That's why he must have discarded every tingle in his skin that sensed the illusions around Mysterio in the pub. That's why he must have ignored the possibility of someone being in his and Ned's room. That's why he asked Happy if he was real when he got off the plane.

It's because he was doubting himself and the very abilities that made him Spiderman.

Peter wasn't dumb. He was right about shooting a web at the water monster.

 @rooftop-kisses​ asked: tom holland as peter parker or zendaya as MJ?

@gcroinya​ said:  ❛  i  have  to  do  this  alone .  ❜ (peter? peter!)

just some time ago, the idea of being left alone would have been too tempting to resist in a time like this. to have others standing up ( heroes, agents, anyone—if he could be honest with himself ) would have meant having a shot of living the life that any of the kids his age were having after the blip. normal—if you could call it like that. just some time ago—and, if by any other reason that would have been the person wearing the suit and standing here with us tonight, maybe, perhaps, he would have taken it. he would have wanted to agree with her in an instant, he thinks. the thought that even guilt and shame would have been better than walking straight in the kind of nightmares that one way or another still managed to found him every other night.

but—( and that's sort of our keyword right now ) but, growingly, a voice in his head urges him to stay and reconsider. plants his feet on the ground and distracts him from the trepidations of his breath.

no, leaving doesn’t feel right to him right now. why, he’s still bound to figure out. but although he doesn't have the age, experience or even some authority on his side, at least he has to try—saying something, somehow.

“ but do you? ” and he has no way of retreating now, none that he can see from here at least. “ and i mean it with all due respect, black widow, ma’am, do you—really, or—is there a reason why you or—or everyone else so far is always coming up with the ‘ i’ll doing on my own’ thing like it’s the only option you guys seem to have, because— ” it hardly ever worked, he thought. it hardly ever could, and it was frustrating to think about it when some of the memories from the last war were fighting to come back to him. things he definitely didn’t wanted to explicit. to others, or himself. 

“ so really, i’m asking to understand, and because i really want to help. why—? ”