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From Hidden to Heard: My Coming Out Story and What Followed
Growing up in a conservative Catholic family in Uganda, my childhood was steeped in religious teachings and traditional values. From a young age, I was taught to adhere to the doctrines of the Church, which included a strict stance against homosexuality. The sermons I heard every Sunday were filled with fire and brimstone, painting a picture of LGBTQI+ individuals as sinners destined for eternal damnation. These messages were reinforced at home, where any deviation from the norm was met with harsh criticism and condemnation.
As a child, I didn't fully understand my feelings. I just knew that I was different. I felt an attraction to other boys, but I quickly learned to suppress these feelings. The fear of rejection and the desire to fit in were powerful motivators. I became adept at hiding my true self, putting on a mask of conformity to avoid the scorn and ridicule that I knew would come if my secret were discovered.
My teenage years were a tumultuous time. The pressure to conform to societal expectations was immense, and I struggled with feelings of guilt and shame. I prayed fervently for God to change me, to make me "normal." But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't change who I was. The internal conflict was exhausting, and I often felt like I was living a double life.
In an attempt to find solace and acceptance, I joined the Brothers of St. Charles Lwanga, a religious congregation known for its strict adherence to Catholic teachings. I hoped that by immersing myself in this community, I could find a sense of belonging and perhaps even change my orientation. But the reality was far different from what I had imagined.
The environment within the congregation was stifling. The same messages of hate and intolerance that I had heard growing up were even more pronounced here. The scriptures were weaponized to justify discrimination and bigotry, and any deviation from the norm was harshly punished. I felt like I was suffocating, trapped in a place that was supposed to be a sanctuary but was instead a prison.
The turning point came during a particularly vitriolic sermon. The priest described LGBTQI+ individuals as "tools of the devil," "mentally unstable," and "agents of darkness." As I sat in the pew, listening to these hateful words, something inside me snapped. I realized that I couldn't continue living a lie. I couldn't keep pretending to be someone I wasn't. I had to break free from the chains of misinformation and hate that had bound me for so long.
Leaving the formation house was one of the hardest decisions I ever made. I knew that by doing so, I was stepping into the unknown. I had no idea what the future held, but I knew that I couldn't continue living a lie. I had to be true to myself, no matter the cost.
Coming out to my family was a daunting task. I knew that their reaction would be harsh, but I also knew that I couldn't continue living in the shadows. When I finally mustered the courage to tell them, their reaction was even worse than I had anticipated. They accused me of submitting to "underground powers" and selling my soul for quick wealth, fame, and influence. They believed that I had given in to "dark powers" and was now a pawn in their game of manipulation.
The accusations didn't stop there. They started spreading rumors that I had joined the Illuminati and was now recruiting others into this secret society. This caused fear and suspicion among my siblings, who began to distance themselves from me. The most painful accusation was that I had traded my fertility for success. "Gays can't have children," they said, "because you've given your sperm to the underground powers."
Lately am now a spokesperson for the queer people living in block 6 of kakuma refugee camp in kenya. I do call for support through our fundraiser below:
Hello world, reaching to everyone is one of the members of the queer refugees community from Kenya Kakuma refugee camp. Life has never been good since we came to the camp years ago in 2019 and 2020. Although life is hard, lgbtiqa refugees have continuously joined us in the camp in the latest years leading to a bigger number of lgbt refugees in Kenya.
The camp has over 200,000 total number of refugees with just about 1300 lgbtiqa+ refugees. Its just a smaller ratio of lgbtiqa regugees facing persevution from the bigger number of other refugees.
Most of us have fled from Uganda where things turned out to be hard on queer people including death and imprisonment of lgbtiqa people. I call upon everyone tk help and support the the fellow queer people surbive through this trauma. You can’t imagine we have lost friends through death due to homophobia. One of us who was killed badly by setting fire on them did noy live for a month later. When we rushed them to hospital, doctors knew was trans and so devided to delay him and later died. We please need everyone to help. Even contacting UNHCR can help.
Look we have a youtube channel for more information and links like petitions and fundraiser are attached to our youtube channel
Our fundraiser below
It takes a good and kind heart to help, you will always stick on our hearts yiu people that make us feel we sre loved and cared about. Sustaining ourselves has failed us. We would prefer having jobs however no one can give a job to a demon like how the call us to be.
Hospital treatment in the government and UNHCR hospitals is hard because of homophobia and delays on LGBT people. For the love and support of one another, we love you