Platonic!phastos X Oc - Tumblr Posts

BITCH, WHAT?! - An Eternals STEM Trio Drabble

Pairings: Platonic!Phastos x Hectate!Eternal Reader, Phastos & Kaetlyn, Phastos x Ben, Kaet x Druig (Druig doesn't appear, but he is mentioned), mention of Ikaris x Sephia Words: ~1.0 k Summary: A lil' drabble that tells how Phastos found out about one wonderfully incredible flower goddess banging it out with one blue flying man with stupid hair. Warning: Nudity (but not sexual), Kaetlyn has ZERO shame, Phastos needs some aspirin from dealing with his crazyass magic shadow sister, unbetaed we die like Ajak (sorry Ajak) Notes: This drabble was inspired by a scene in Grey's Anatomy, if you know you know. Please reblog and like and comment! Shoutout to @ethereal-athalia & @valeskafics for being the most supportive people on this platform!

Phastos was a pacifist. He was a ‘thinker,’ not a ‘fighter.’ If there was a way to resolve a conflict peacefully with no potential loss of blood or bodily fluid, then he would take it. His inventions may have martial uses, but he remained steadfast in using his mind for peace and not violence. He lived this way for 7,000 years on Earth, and he would like it very much to keep it that way.

But lord-y lord, was he sorely tempted to break that right now.

“How could she not tell me?” you asked incredulously. “I mean, how could she not tell me?”

“Get out.” he told you.

Out of every one of his old family, Phastos was definitely not one to be ashamed to admit that he played favorites, and there was most definitely a ranking system. He wasn’t so petty to reveal who were at the bottom Sprite, but he knew it was obvious who were his favorites. Out of the remaining eleven members, he adored you and Sephia above everyone else. His love for the two of you reached to the point he considered the both you to be his sisters, and his respect went so far as to hold you two to a higher esteem than he held Ajak.

“I mean seriously, ME? What the fuck?”

“Please, get out.” he repeated in hopes that you would listen.

And of course, you didn’t.

Normally Phastos would more than happy with you visiting. After all, you and Sephia were the only ones that Phastos really trusted to be around his family so that his son could have a chance of a normal childhood without ‘excessive’ trauma. Jack adored his Aunties ‘Sophia’ and ‘Katie,’ and you both loved him. And while he would never admit it, he truly appreciated how either you or Sephie would happily take Jack off his dads’ hands so that they could spend some quality time together after he and Ben brough Jack home from the hospital.

But he would really appreciate it if you hadn’t just magicked yourself into his living room before barging yourself in the bathroom with him while he was showering so that he could prepare for an important interview with the magnet school Jack’s currently being waitlisted on. He’d appreciate even more if you picked up the very subtle hints that he’s been dropping while you were currently pacing on the other side of the shower curtain.

“He’s lying,” you went off, “he’s a lying liar – that’s it, that has to be it. I would know if my soul sister was in a relationship with someone.”

“Get out.” Maybe if he repeated it enough with gradual emphasis, it might actually sink into her head.

“I’m actually being gaslighted-” a cold blast of air hit his back as you pulled the curtain to one side – “Phastos this is criminal-”

Immediately pulling back the curtains to retain some sense of his dignity, Phastos decided that enough was enough. “Get out!”

Taken back, you asked: “What’s your problem?”

“What’s my problem- Kaety, I am in the shower. I am wet and n a k e d.” Phastos stressed the last word to point out the very glaring fact that he was wet and not wearing any clothes.

“Okay, and? I’ve seen it all before, no big deal! I’m in the middle of a crisis here!”

Did you really fail to see how fucking weird this situation was?

Feeling a migraine coming in, he needed to get you out so he could finish his shower in peace for five goddamn minutes. Looking you in the eyes, Phastos did his best to give you his best “I’m Pissed” stare.

Letting out a sigh, he thought that maybe you finally took the hint and would leave.

“Alright, fine,” you reasoned out, “your junk is…spectacular, really great. 10 out of 10, would bang you if you were straight and I wasn’t already madly obsessed with Druig’s nether regions. Ben is truly a lucky man…can we get back to me now?”

“…”

“Why are you making that face?” you groaned in distress.

“Kaety, I know I said that my door would always been open for you. But I have a very important interview with that magnet school for Jack, alright? Me and Ben have been prepping for this afternoon for over 3 months. I am sleep-deprived, I need to shower, and I need to be focused. Whatever you’re going through, go to Sephie, okay?”

“…It’s Ben and I.”

“Why are you here anyway? And where are the girls? Did you just leave them at the compound?”

“What? No, the girls are downstairs playing with Jack. Druig and Ben are watching over them.”

“Oh my god- Druig’s here too?”

“Well, what was I supposed to do? Leave my kids without telling the love of my life? Phastos, what kind of mother and wife do you think I am?”

“…Just get out.”

You were just about to leave when you finally registered what he said earlier - and you immediately turned back.

“HOLD UP!” you shouted as pulled the curtain again as Phastos pulled it back, “You mean to tell me that you haven’t been listening to me this ENTIRE TIME?”

“No, I haven’t! And I don’t particularly care about it right now!” he shouted whilst standing under the shower head to finally finish washing himself. “Just tell me later! When I am NOT NAKED!”

Still determined to get a proper reaction, you made sure to project very loudly. “SO, it wouldn’t interest you to know that I caught Ikaris and Sephie HAVING SEX?!”

“WHAT?!” This time, Phastos was the one to pull the curtains back. “NO! Wait- that’s- that’s- NO! Why would- NO!”

“Thank you.” you calmly stated before pulling his curtain between you two once more as you finally exited the bathroom- leaving your Inventor brother to stand under the streaming water in a state of extreme shock at the most horrific news he’s received since Thanos’ Snap.

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