Please Love Me Mommy - Tumblr Posts

*Venting, BIG ASS TW for transphobia.

*Please scroll past if you are sensitive to that topic or simply don't want to see my bitch ass vent.

*Tonight was not pleasant, I walked out of the shower, and a little bit after I started to dry off, my grandmama started to spew out a transphobic shit story about a trans woman getting harassed by a little old lady in the store my grandma works at.

*The entire story is just the old lady repeatedly telling the trans woman that she is not a woman and will never be one and then having the audacity to say, "I'm not being disrespectful." The story ends with the trans woman saying to the old lady "Yeah you're right, I'm not a woman. I'm just a feminine man."

*Throughout the story, my grandma praises the old lady in the story, and my mom even says she agrees at the end.

*Now, this shit really hurts me because I'm trans, both of them know I'm trans; Both of them say they support me and my community and now I'm starting to question whether or not what they say is true.

*I feel lied to by my mom and grandma, and when I first heard them, I hid in the bathroom because I don't actually have my own room and sleep in the living room. I sat there crying for half an hour, and I didn't go out until my mom needed to use the restroom.

*I sat on my air mattress desperately checking my discord to see if anyone had responded to my vents because I really needed the support. I felt crushed and betrayed mainly by my own mother, and I started to wonder: what else she had lied to me about? And more importantly, why? To spare my feelings?

*At least with my dad, he was honest about it, so I knew what to not tell him. But with her, for all I know, she could be completely disgusted with me behind closed doors. I feel so hurt knowing that all her love could just be lies, maybe fueled by guilt or pity, idk.

*All I know is now I'll never truly know whether or not my mom actually loves me.