Poe Dameron/reader - Tumblr Posts

But I’m Here In Your Doorway

Pairing: Poe Dameron x Reader

Based on these lines from this is me trying: 

Pulled the car off the road to the lookout Could've followed my fears all the way down And maybe I don't quite know what to say But I'm here in your doorway

Word count: ~2.6k

Warnings: mentions of and encounter with possible suicide, injuries (blood, bruises, etc), mention of (previous) deaths

Summary: reader loses everything. after she nearly makes an irreversible decision, she goes to Poe for help. 

GIF not mine

The screams of your squadron members bounce around in your head. It was your fault, you knew that. You shouldn’t have set off without checking your ship. Without checking for any trackers. So it wasn’t a surprise when, out of nowhere, a group of TIEs burst out of hyperspace, straight into your fleet like pins being knocked over by 30 flying bowling balls. You had watched, helplessly, as your friends - your family - were picked off one-by-one. As they went up into terrifyingly bright balls of gas and flame and smoke. It was your fault. All your fault. 

Part of you was trying to cling onto the notion that you couldn’t have known, how could you have known? But the majority of your mind beat back those thoughts, letting the sickening guilt take over and push you into a dark corner. Debriefing had been a nightmare. General Organa had, of course, told you that it wasn’t your fault, that it was nobody’s fault but the spy she hadn’t discovered in time. She could sense the weight on your shoulders, sense you falling into a pit inside of yourself. 

After the meeting, she had pulled you aside.

“Y/N. I need you to look at me,” she said, turning your head gently but firmly with her right hand. “It isn’t your fault. You did everything you could. Sometimes, things are just out of our control.”

“I know,” you lied, just wanting this conversation to be over. Leia could sense your apprehension, and sighed.

“Look, I know that nothing I say is going to change how you feel, because I’ve been there, and I know what you’re thinking. I know it’s hard. Trust me.” you look down at the floor, scuffing the tip of your boot across the dusty ground. “It will get better. I promise you.”

“Thanks, general.” 

“How many times do I have to tell you to call me Leia?” she asks lightly as you turn to walk away.

“A few more, apparently,” you respond, the ghost of a false smile resting over your face. With that, you turn on your heel and head to your quarters. 

You step through the door as it slides open and sit down on your bed. You reach for your datapad, wanting to distract yourself with something. 

You click the screen on, and your heart drops. Staring back at you are the smiling faces of your squadron. You’re all clustered around Mari’s new droid, with hands on its shiny purple head. She had been so happy to get that little guy. 

Now they were both nothing more than dust drifting through the empty expanse of space.

 You hurl the tablet at the wall, watching as the screen shatters and falls to the floor. 

You place your head in your hands, silent sobs racking your body. You clench your hair in your hands, knuckles turning white. You stand up, body shaking, and walk out of your quarters.

You pass Finn in the hallway. He smiles at you, but you can’t bring yourself to do the same. You feel awful as he looks back at you as you pass him, but at this point there’s no use trying to fix it. You trudge outside and up to your x-wing sitting on the tarmac, the edges of the wings blackened from smoke. You glance around, checking the coast is clear, then scurry up the ladder and into the cockpit. You check the time. 

1800. 

Sighing, you boot up your craft and quickly take off. You cruise over the base a few times, watching everyone go about their day. Like nothing happened. Like 10 of the most beautiful, vibrant souls hadn’t just been snuffed like a match. You swallow the knot in your throat and head for the atmosphere. You need to get away from here. 

-

“General Organa!” Leia turns, to see a frenzied runway tech sprinting towards her. “Y/N took off on an unauthorized flight.” 

Leia swallows thickly, her heart dropping. “How long ago?”

“We noticed she was left just now - but it looks like she’s been gone about an hour.” 

“Then there’s nothing we can do but hope she comes back safely.”

“That’s what I was worried about.”

-

You land on a nearby forest planet, after searching for about ten minutes for a place to touch down. You pick a plateau on the Western side, lowering your land gear as you begin to descend. You hop down from your ship onto the grassy earth, and look around. 

It’s quiet up here. There’s a soft wind blowing, and it weaves delicate fingers through your hair and across your face as you take off your helmet. You let it fall to the ground, and decide to walk around for a bit. You make your way to the edge of the plateau, and look out across the forest beyond. It stretches on for miles, a swath of dark green. The last rays of the sun blaze across the sky, painting the clouds with a pink-orange hue. 

You glance down, and your heart drops to your toes. It’s a long way to the ground below. You begin to back up, but for some reason you find yourself stopping. You get closer to the edge, still looking down. It would be so easy to just take another step. Just one more. All of this would be over. You wouldn’t have to feel this guilt anymore. 

Your knee lifts up slowly.

Realizing what you’re about to do, you scramble back, falling to the dirt. You brace your hands on the ground, digging your fingers into the earth to anchor yourself. Your chest heaves, and your vision spins. The ground seems to buckle, to toss you around. The sky bends and arches above you as you struggle to breathe. You roll over onto your stomach and wrap your arms around your knees. 

You don’t know how long you lie there, but by the time you have the courage to stand up and walk again, the moon is floating in the sky above you, and the stars glimmer against a black backdrop. 

You climb back into your x-wing and sit there, staring at your dashboard. Your eyes meet one of the few pictures leaned against the fuel gague. You and Poe lean against his x-wing a few months ago. You have your arms wrapped around each other. He’s kissing your cheek, and you’re laughing, open-mouthed, your nose scrunched up and your eyes shut tight. 

You take a shuddering breath. Poe. You couldn’t believe what you’d almost done - what you still might do, if you don’t get out of here. You couldn’t leave him like that. You rapidly go through your flight checklist and then take off, headed back to base. 

You land on the tarmac around 0200, exhausted and beaten down by your own thoughts. You hop out of your ship, landing on the ground with a thud. 

You start walking, not really knowing where your legs are taking you, but you end up at Poe’s quarters. You can hear movement inside the room. You raise a trembling hand and knock once.

He opens the door, and his eyes widen. His mouth moves silently, searching for words.

You swallow thickly, a nervous knot tying in your stomach. 

He takes a step toward you, not quite believing what he’s seeing. Leia had told him that you’d left suddenly after their meeting, and he had grown worried that you were hurt, or worse. But here you are, standing in front of him. Your form is limp and you’re drawn into yourself. Your face and neck are caked with blood and dirt, and your eyes are clouded and empty. 

“Hi,” you say weakly. He quickly closes the gap between the both of you, wrapping you in a tight embrace. Your arms hang limp beside you.

“Stardust,” he breathes, holding you tightly. “I was so worried.”

Tears prick the corners of your eyes, falling down your face and onto Poe’s shoulder. He pulls back, concerned. Cradling your face in his hands, his eyebrows crease with worry. 

He looks down at you, stroking your cheek gently with his thumb. There’s a silent question written across his features. You shake your head tearfully. You don’t know what to say. 

“Baby…” he whispers, pulling you close to his chest again. You clutch at the back of his shirt with shaking hands.“I’m here now - you’re safe. You’re ok, you’re ok, you’re ok.” He repeats those two words over and over like a mantra, equally to himself as to you. “Let’s get you inside, ok?” he says, and you nod. Placing a hand on the small of your back, he guides you into his quarters. 

“I’ll grab some clothes for you,” he says as you sit down on the edge of the bed. He rustles through his drawers, eventually coming up with a long-sleeved olive green shirt and a pair of grey boxer shorts. He sets them on the bed next to you. “Are you good to take a shower?” You think about it for a minute, and slowly shake your head. The idea of being pounded with thousands of tiny droplets makes you want to hide under a blanket. 

“Too much,” you murmur, and he nods in understanding. 

“Ok, love, that’s fine. We do need to clean you off and deal with these cuts, though.” he gestures to the lacerations across your skin. You nod weakly. You hear him pad over to the refresher unit and grab a medkit and some washcloths, which he wets under some running water from the sink. 

He kneels in front of you, and motions for you to take off your flight suit. You slip it halfway off, letting it rest around your waist. Poe sucked in a breath through his teeth as he saw the bruises blooming across your torso and arms. You’d gotten tossed around pretty bad, getting knocked through space by several of the TIEs. You’d slammed your sternum right into the dashboard at one point, and small fragments of something had slashed open nearly every bit of exposed skin and even some under your suit. 

“Y/N…” he says quietly, tearing up. You bite the inside of your cheek, hating to see him so upset. 

He gets to work cleaning your cuts. He’s as gentle as he can be, but you still hiss as the cold water on the washcloth cleans out your cuts, and tears start to fall as he bandages up a particularly bad cut on your stomach. He holds your hand the whole time, letting you squeeze his hand as hard as you need to, never even flinching as your vice grip tightens around his fingers. 

“Ok, baby, let me check your legs and then you’re all set,” he says, and you turn away, face flushing with nervousness. He’s confused for a second, then has a moment of understanding. He’s never seen you naked - you weren’t ready to get intimate yet, so you guys had been taking it slow, and now really wasn’t the best time to breach that barrier. “You can change into the shorts first,” he says quietly, and you look back at him gratefully. 

You make your way to the refresher unit, shutting the door behind you. You peel off your flight suit the rest of the way, followed by your undergarments, crusted with blood from the cuts on your stomach. You pile the discarded clothes in a pile by the shower, and slip on the shirt and shorts Poe had leant you. You take the opportunity to glance into the mirror above the sink, and grimace at the reflection that gazes back at you. Hair messy and tangled, face bruised and covered with small cuts, you were not a pretty sight to behold. Sighing, you head back into the main room. 

Sitting back down on the bed, you lean against the wall and stretch your legs out in front of you. Poe sits down on the mattress next to you, surveying your exposed limbs. They aren’t as bad as the upper half of your body, but they definitely aren’t good. He dabs at the cuts gently, taking your hand again. He mutters sweet nothings as you clench your teeth and shut your eyes tightly for the next few minutes as he finishes up. 

“All done,” he eventually says, and you relinquish your grip on his hand, wiping the tears from your eyes. He looks up at you, and you almost melt at the love in his eyes. You realize in that moment how lucky you are - that no matter what, he’ll always take care of you. Always. 

“Thank you,” you say quietly, and he smiles softly, opening his arms. You crawl over to where he’s leaned against the headboard and collapse into his embrace, breathing beginning to even out. 

“You need sleep, baby,” he says, and you nod. “You can stay here, if you want.” You nod again, and he presses a kiss to your hair. “I’ll grab some extra blankets from the closet.” He gets up and goes to retrieve them. You get under his comforter and lay your head down on one of the pillows. Your eyes drift closed.

 Poe pads back over to the bed and pauses, looking down at you. He swallows thickly, tearing up. He makes a promise to himself then and there that he’d never lose you like that. Never again. 

He lays another blanket over you, then switches off the lights. He quickly changes into some sleep clothes and then gets under the covers, laying down facing you. 

“Poe?” you mumble, searching for his face in the dark. 

“Right here, honey,” he says softly, and you inch closer to him, a bit nervous to get too close. He senses your unease and smiles softly. “Cmere,” he says, draping a hand over your waist and pulling you close to him. You tuck your head against his chest, a warm feeling creeping into your very core. Being this close to him is grounding. You take a deep breath in. The scent of the lavender soap he uses clings to his skin, and it washes over you. You listen to his breathing, feel the rise and fall of his chest. 

“I love you,” you breathe, eyes widening as you realize what you just said. The two of you haven’t exactly said it before. You feel Poe freeze beside you, and your heart drops. You mentally kick yourself. How could you say that right now?

“I love you too,” he says, and you can hear the smile in his voice. You blush furiously as he tilts your head up with his thumb and forefinger. “To the edge of the universe and back.” He presses his lips to yours, feather soft. 

“I love you,” you say again, just because you can. He smiles softly. 

“I’m proud of you, I want you to know that,” he says after a while. “For...getting through all this. I know it hurts, and it’ll stay that way for a bit, but…” he pauses, taking your hand in his. “But I’ll always be here if you need me. To talk, or just listen. You can lean on me, ok?”

“Ok,” you say quietly, looking up into his eyes. 

“Ok,” he whispers.

“Ok.” You smile, and his heart flips at the beauty of it. He pulls you into his chest once more, and you’re out like a light almost instantly. He presses his lips to your forehead before drifting off, holding you tightly in his arms.

hi could i pls request a poe x reader fic where he goes to visit you in your quarters after he gets back from a mission but you've fallen asleep at your desk studying for some sort of medical training exam and its super fluffy and cute?

Rest

a/n: this was so cute to write! tysm for the request!! <3

word count: 745

warnings: none, this is pure fluff

gif not mine

You thought you had known what exhaustion felt like before tonight. You were very, very, very wrong. This entire week had been review for the exams coming up the next Monday, and tonight, Friday, was the last day you had to study before the weekend. You’d spent countless hours poring over texts and holofiles, focusing on your weak spots. You sipped at your mug of caf, swallowing the last of it with a sigh. The end of this file was nowhere in sight. You sat up straight, wincing at the loud cracks and pops your back emitted at the motion.

I really need to work on my posture, you think. Yawning, you glance at the small clock on your bedside table across the room. The red numbers read out 0100. You’ve been working for a while. Sighing, you prop your head on your hand and stare blankly at the wall. Your vision becomes unfocused, and you snap your head up. Nope. No sleeping until you’ve finished this chapter. Shaking your head slightly, you dive back into the file you were reading about blood cell structure. You can feel your eyelids getting heavy and yawn. Before you can say nerf herder, you’re out cold, head resting on your arms. 

Poe makes his way down the hall to your room, excitement brimming in his chest. That mission had gone so well - he and Finn had gotten so much intel from the small mining town they’d visited in an outer rim system. Leia had been very pleased and given him and his friend the weekend off. He was ecstatic, already planning an outing somewhere a bit ways out from base for the two of you. 

He arrives at your room and quietly knocks. He frowns when he gets no response, confused. He can see the light on under your door. 

“Y/N?” he says quietly. “You there?” Nothing. “I’m coming in, alright?” he says, waiting for ten seconds in case you just hadn’t heard him earlier, before pulling out the spare keypass you’d given him and letting himself in. He glances around, concerned when he sees your empty bed. He walks to the far side of your room and glances to his right. 

He chuckles at the sight in front of him. You’re asleep at your desk, face buried in the crook of your elbows. Countless books are littered on the table and across the floor, and there's a file open on your datapad, projecting into the air. Its blue light washes your dozing form in a pale glow. He carefully makes his way over to you, side-stepping wadded-up balls of paper and other study materials you’d discarded over the past few hours.

“Hey, sweetheart, wake up,” he says softly, gently running a hand over your arm. Your head rises slowly, and he watches as your eyelids flutter open. You smile when you see him.

“Poe,” you say, voice raspy. He grins, chuckling quietly. 

“How long have you been studying, baby?” he asks. You grumble something about exams and not understanding something, before yawning quietly.

“‘Dunno.”

“Let’s get you to bed, ok?” he says, but you shake your head.

“I wanna hear about your day,” you say, and he smiles softly. 

“The mission went well,” he says, and you smile sleepily. “I got this weekend off, I was thinking we could do something tomorrow? Maybe a picnic?”

“Ooooo, yeah,” you say, your words stumbling over each other. He laughs. 

“You really need to get some rest, babe.” You groan.

“Fine,” you say, yawning. He offers you his hands, helping you stand up from your desk and guiding you over to your bed. He plants a kiss on your forehead, cradling your head in his hands. You melt into the touch, protesting when he pulls away. He laughs as you hold out your arms, opening and closing your hands. He wraps his arms around you, and you let out a quiet, contented noise. You lean into his shoulder, savoring the warmth coming from him. 

“Y/N. Bed.” 

“You’re so mean,” you say as you crawl under the covers. 

“Yup, that’s me. Big bad Poe. So very mean.” you laugh, and he grins. “I’ll see you tomorrow, sweetheart. Get some rest.” Your eyes close slowly, and he smiles as your breathing evens out and your face relaxes. With one last glance back at you, he flips off the light and heads to his room, shutting the door behind him.

Please Don't Say you Love me

Pairing: Poe Dameron x gn!Reader

Based on Please Don't Say you Love me by Gabrielle Aplin:

Just please don't say you love me, Cause I might not say it back, Doesn't mean my heart stops skipping When you look at me like that

Word count: 915

Warnings: slight angst (happy ending), mentions of past toxic relationships

A/N: it's like 4am this is probably riddled with typos sorry lol

GIF from thestarwarsdaily

“Oh, come on, it’s not that bad,” you say, laughing.

“No, it’s absolutely awful,” Poe says, chuckling as he tosses a grape into the air and catches it in his mouth. The two of you were discussing a drawing BB-8 had somehow sketched out with his little stylus of the three of you. “Look, I love the little guy to death, but I looked like Chewie.” You laugh loudly, tilting your head back. Poe’s heart skips a beat. He grins as he watches pure joy blossom on your face. You glance back at him, propping your head on the heel of your hand.

“Oh!” you say, sitting up quickly and twisting around. “I just remembered.” Your boyfriend raises an eyebrow as you reach into your bag behind you and pull out a small, paper-wrapped parcel. You bite your lip as you hand it to him, watching excitedly as he tears through the brown packaging.

“Oh. My. Gods,” he says quietly, surveying the small book. “You found it?”

“Sorta,” you say, grinning. “Technically, Finn found it. He was on that supply run last week and saw it - he remembered me talking about wanting to get it for you and bought it.” The volume was filled with old Yavini fairytales - ones Poe would murmur to you when you couldn’t sleep. You’d asked him where he’d learned them, and he’d told you about a (much older) copy of this book that Shara would read to him when he was younger. Ever since that night, it had been your mission to find it.

“You are…” he trails off, flipping through the delicate pages. “Amazing.” You blush as he looks up at you and takes your hand in his. You lean towards him, and he meets you halfway, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. Your eyes meet as you break away, and a soft blush creeps into your cheeks as he looks at you with pure adoration. “I love you,” he says.

Your stomach drops, smile faltering.

“Oh-” you look down, panicked, and feel Poe tense.

“What?”

“Nothing, I just…” you trail off, not knowing what to say. Certainly not the words that just tumbled from Poe’s mouth - you don’t know how long it’s been since you said that. Since you’d had a reason to say it. “I can’t...I don’t…” Poe’s jaw clenches.

“Oh, I see,” he says. You can hear the hurt in his words, and it sends a jolt of guilt shooting through your chest.

“No, Poe, it’s not-”

“Forget it,” he says, standing up and walking away. Your resolve crumbles as his rigid form grows farther and farther from you, and hot tears spill from your eyes and trace down the bridge of your nose and the apples of your cheeks, falling onto the grass below you.

“I just don’t get it,” Poe says, frustratedly rubbing his eyes with his left hand. Rey listens from where she sits at her desk. “We’ve been together for...gods, for nearly a year now, and…” he trails off, throat closing up. His friend glances up from the HoloFile she’s been reviewing, tilting her head slightly.

“And what?”

“They acted like I stuck them with a hot poker,” he murmurs. “Do they want to break up? Did I do something? I just don’t understand.” Rey sighs, closing her datapad and making her way across the room to stand in front of him.

“You know what happened with their last relationship, right?” she says quietly, and his head snaps up. She waves a hand dismissively. “Not like that,” she reassures, and the pilot relaxes. “They just...it was hard on them. You need to give them time.” Poe’s face falls. He had been awful to you. He didn’t even give you a chance to explain, just...walked away. He sighs, upset with himself.

“Thanks, Rey,” he says, headed for the door.

“Anytime,” the brunette says, returning to her work.

Poe sees you sitting under the big tree by the pond once he makes his way outside, and walks over.

“Hey…” he says softly, and your head whips up. His chest grows tight as the slight shine on your face becomes evident. You’d been crying. And it was his fault. “Look, I’m sorry, baby, I-”

“No, Poe, I’m sorry, it's just-”

“You don’t have to explain, stardust,” he murmurs, sitting down next to you. He takes one of your hands in his. “It’s okay, really. I shouldn’t have reacted like that, I think I just got caught up in the moment, and, well…” he motions vaguely. You nod, leaning your head on his shoulder.

“It’s just hard for me to say,” you murmur as he rests his head on top of yours. “It doesn’t mean that I don’t, it’s just - it’s hard.” You feel him nod in understanding.

“That’s okay, sweetheart. Is it...is it alright if I say it?” he asks hesitantly, and you smile.

“Yeah,” you say, lifting your head to look into his eyes. A mischievous grin breaks across your face. “Any chance for me to be told how great I am is warmly welcomed.” He rolls his eyes, playfully jabbing you in the side. You cackle, shoving him lightly.

“Well then,” Poe says, smiling at you warmly. “Y/N L/N, I love you.” You blush furiously, burying your face in his shoulder. He grins, pressing a kiss to your hair. He wraps his arms around you and smiles. “Very, very much.”

taglist: @staarshines