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i wonder what it's like

in that head of yours.

is it waves of sadness

pulling you under till you can't breathe?

or fists of regret

crushing you under their weight?

do claws of guilt pierce your skin,

talons drawing lifeblood?

or do flames of greed lick your arms,

scorching your entire being?

is fear your nicotine?

killing you from the inside out

while life without it is unknown to you?

or does a leash of longing tug at your heart,

as you desperately seek

what it is that you long for?

do red clouds of rage

paint your world bloody?

or does a dark cloak of anxiety

cast a shadow over the rest of us?

do you wear a blindfold of jealousy

until you've worn yourself down?

or a mask of annoyance

shutting us all out?

does loneliness engulf you

in a mocking embrace?

or do you spend your time

struggling to crawl out the grave

you dug yourself?

who's the puppeteer

pulling the strings that lift your smile?

is your smile real?

i hope;

i hope it is.

i hope you see it flicker in your darkness;

i hope you salvage a sliver of it—

of hope.