Poly!marauders Fluff - Tumblr Posts
san’s masterlist ♡
remus lupin — ☽◯☾
sirius black — ★
james potter — 𖤓
poly!wolfstar — ☪︎
poly!marauders — ✩₊⋆☾⋆˚ ☼
regulus black — ✶
fest fics — ୨ৎ
updated on 22/09/24
Hii! Can you write headcanons for what it would be like for a female reader to share a dorm with marauders?(since first year) Maybe like girls dorms were full?? I know it makes no sense but Thanks in advance 🎀
of course, lovely! thank you for the request <3 this is my first time writing headcanons so please be kind!!
headcanons of roommate!marauders x fem!reader
• james would get up early in the morning and wake the whole dorm up with how noisy he is. and sirius would sleep in till noon, literally nothing can wake him from his slumber
• the whole dorm room smells atrocious, obviously, because they’re teenage boys. sirius, remus and james’ beds would always be messy so it would be up to you and peter to make sure the whole room doesn’t rot with decay
• when james comes back from quidditch practice drenched in sweat, the first thing he does is hug you because he knows you hate being touched when he’s all musty and sweaty
• sirius is super clingy and annoying, always invades your personal space and sits / lies down on your bed. you act like it annoys you but he knows you secretly find it endearing
• you love to borrow remus’ cardigans and sirius’ leather jackets. and they love letting you wear them
• peter climbs into your bed sometimes late at night to confide in you, you’re the only one he really trusts not to judge him
• remus sometimes sneaks into your bed when he can’t fall asleep. he will never admit it, but your presence and holding your hand helps him fall asleep
• and sometimes when you can’t sleep, you ask remus to read to you because it calms you
• you can always hear james and sirius going over to each other’s beds
• sirius loves it when you help him braid his hair and do his makeup. sometimes you braid his hair when he’s asleep. he wakes up and his heart swells with affection when he sees his hair, especially if you’ve braided flowers into it
• james brings you breakfast when you’re too tired and end up sleeping in. he always makes sure you’re taking care of yourself and ensures that you’re not overworking yourself
• they definitely give you a marauder nickname, and james and sirius love to tease you with nicknames like “dove” or “darling” sometimes just to see you flustered
• subtle touches! james for one is all for affection, gives you hugs like every other day. remus won’t say much, but he’ll always have a gentle hand on the small of your back or your shoulder. sirius wraps his arm around your shoulder or loops your arm through his, and peter likes to hold your hand
• you guys have movie nights sometimes, and sirius always wants to watch a horror film but you never do because it freaks peter out
• they force you to be involved in prank planning, and it turns out you always have the most fun, sneaky ideas. james and sirius would be so proud of you
• since you’re dorm mates, you become really good friends. the boys tease you in private, but if anyone dares to do so in public then they become fiercely protective of you
Hii! Can you write headcanons for what it would be like for a female reader to share a dorm with marauders?(since first year) Maybe like girls dorms were full?? I know it makes no sense but Thanks in advance 🎀
of course, lovely! thank you for the request <3 this is my first time writing headcanons so please be kind
headcanons of roommate!marauders x fem!reader
• james would get up early in the morning and wake the whole dorm up with how noisy he is. and sirius would sleep in till noon, literally nothing can wake him from his slumber
• the whole dorm room smells atrocious, obviously, because they’re teenage boys. sirius, remus and james’ beds would always be messy so it would be up to you and peter to make sure the whole room doesn’t rot with decay
• when james comes back from quidditch practice drenched in sweat, the first thing he does is hug you because he knows you hate being touched when he’s all musty and sweaty
• sirius is super clingy and annoying, always invades your personal space and sits / lies down on your bed. you act like it annoys you but he knows you secretly find it endearing
• you love to borrow remus’ cardigans and sirius’ leather jackets. and they love letting you wear them
• peter climbs into your bed sometimes late at night to confide in you, you’re the only one he really trusts not to judge him
• remus sometimes sneaks into your bed when he can’t fall asleep. he will never admit it, but your presence and holding your hand helps him fall asleep
• and sometimes when you can’t sleep, you ask remus to read to you because it calms you
• you can always hear james and sirius going over to each other’s beds
• sirius loves it when you help him braid his hair and do his makeup. sometimes you braid his hair when he’s asleep. he wakes up and his heart swells with affection when he sees his hair, especially if you’ve braided flowers into it
• james brings you breakfast when you’re too tired and end up sleeping in. he always makes sure you’re taking care of yourself and ensures that you’re not overworking yourself
• they definitely give you a marauder nickname, and james and sirius love to tease you with nicknames like “dove” or “darling” sometimes just to see you flustered
• subtle touches! james for one is all for affection, gives you hugs like every other day. remus won’t say much, but he’ll always have a gentle hand on the small of your back or your shoulder. sirius wraps his arm around your shoulder or loops your arm through his, and peter likes to hold your hand
• you guys have movie nights sometimes, and sirius always wants to watch a horror film but you never do because it freaks peter out
• they force you to be involved in prank planning, and it turns out you always have the most fun, sneaky ideas. james and sirius would be so proud of you
• since you’re dorm mates, you become really good friends. the boys tease you in private, but if anyone dares to do so in public then they become fiercely protective of you
Hello hellooo I LOVED your headcanons! Could you write one for reader and marauders where the reader just doesn't feel hunger and forgets to eat and drink until their vision starts darkening and the stomach hurts? Bc thats how i am fr. Just some fluff and id prefer it to be platonic but if its not thats okay too 🤞🏻 thank uuuu
ahh thank you so much lovely♡ and sure, here it is! interpret it platonically or romantically, up to you !!
headcanons of marauders x gn!reader who forgets to take care of themselves
• james would make it his mission to make sure you take care of yourself. whenever he sees you, he’ll ask you if you’ve eaten. if you haven’t, he’ll make sure you do
• he’d wake you up early every morning to go eat breakfast with him, not caring how sleepy you are
• he has a stash of your favourite snacks under his bed which he makes you eat whenever you go over to their dorm room
• he would shower you in praises when you remember to eat and drink, to the point where you’re flustered. and you don’t know whether he’s being sarcastic or not (he’s not)
• if he notices you start to black out in classes, he will lovingly force you to get out of the class and go rest (and he’ll come with you)
• sirius would drag you to the great hall to eat with him whenever possible. he would pile your plate with every type of food too, and glare at you until you finish everything on your plate
• and he’d definitely tease you about it, like “has my little mouse nibbled on her food yet?” but he’s actually kind of worried underneath the playful demeanor
• whenever you get a stomachache he would be all “I told you soooo!”
• wraps his arm around your waist and urges you to lean on him when you feel too exhausted, playfully muttering about how stubborn you are and that you need to eat more
• remus would always have snacks in his bag just for you, because he knows you’ve probably forgotten to eat again. and a thermos of tea or hot chocolate for you to drink (and for himself, obviously)
• he’d casually ask you to study with him, with the secret agenda of making sure you eat while you work
• he’d try to gently explain to you that whether hungry or not, you need to eat for your body and for energy
• if your vision starts to darken, he’ll softly talk to you to distract you and so you have something to focus on instead of passing out, giving you small sips of water
• peter would be great at noticing when you look tired, and he immediately brings you something to eat or drink without making a fuss of it
• he holds your hand when he notices your unsteadiness on your feet
Hello hellooo I LOVED your headcanons! Could you write one for reader and marauders where the reader just doesn't feel hunger and forgets to eat and drink until their vision starts darkening and the stomach hurts? Bc thats how i am fr. Just some fluff and id prefer it to be platonic but if its not thats okay too 🤞🏻 thank uuuu
ahh thank you so much lovely♡ and sure, here it is! interpret it platonically or romantically, up to you !!
headcanons of marauders x gn!reader who forgets to take care of themselves
• james would make it his mission to make sure you take care of yourself. whenever he sees you, he’ll ask you if you’ve eaten. if you haven’t, he’ll make sure you do
• he’d wake you up early every morning to go eat breakfast with him, not caring how sleepy you are
• he has a stash of your favourite snacks under his bed which he makes you eat whenever you go over to their dorm room
• he would shower you in praises when you remember to eat and drink, to the point where you’re flustered. and you don’t know whether he’s being sarcastic or not (he’s not)
• if he notices you start to black out in classes, he will lovingly force you to get out of the class and go rest (and he’ll come with you)
• sirius would drag you to the great hall to eat with him whenever possible. he would pile your plate with every type of food too, and glare at you until you finish everything on your plate
• and he’d definitely tease you about it, like “has my little mouse nibbled on her food yet?” but he’s actually kind of worried underneath the playful demeanor
• whenever you get a stomachache he would be all “I told you soooo!”
• wraps his arm around your waist and urges you to lean on him when you feel too exhausted, playfully muttering about how stubborn you are and that you need to eat more
• remus would always have snacks in his bag just for you, because he knows you’ve probably forgotten to eat again. and a thermos of tea or hot chocolate for you to drink (and for himself, obviously)
• he’d casually ask you to study with him, with the secret agenda of making sure you eat while you work
• he’d try to gently explain to you that whether hungry or not, you need to eat for your body and for energy
• if your vision starts to darken, he’ll softly talk to you to distract you and so you have something to focus on instead of passing out, giving you small sips of water
• peter would be great at noticing when you look tired, and he immediately brings you something to eat or drink without making a fuss of it
• he holds your hand when he notices your unsteadiness on your feet
I am BEGGING on my knees for a part two to "Meant to be" 🧎♀️🧎♀️🧎♀️
your wish is my command, sweetheart!! here is part 2. thank you guys so much for all the love on part 1 ♡
meant to be | poly!wolfstar (part 2)
part 1 | part 2
tw: angst, hurt/comfort
poly!wolfstar x reader
The chillness radiating off the wall behind you does nothing to ease your pain as you slump to the ground outside the common room.
You press your fingertips to your lips, nibbling on your nails anxiously as you feel the hot tears dribble down your cheeks.
It was over. Your relationship with Sirius and Remus was over, and it was all your fault. You had ruined it.
It had felt like the right decision two minutes ago when you were admitting your troubles in the common room. It had felt like something you had to do for the past few weeks, whenever you saw the boys together without you, whenever you felt like an extra in their relationship.
So why did it feel like there was a gaping hole in your heart? Why did it feel like your insides had just been clawed out and crushed to pieces?
This was your doing, your choice, you told yourself. No point mourning for a relationship that was already dead.
Maybe Sirius and Remus were bubbling with laughter and cuddling in the common room right now. You really hoped that they were glad to be rid of you, because it was worth feeling this hurt if it meant they were happy.
As your thoughts of culpability begin to consume you, your vision starts to blur with tears. You lean your head against the wall, eyes closing as a soft sob escapes your lips.
It was dawning upon you that you really had lost the boys you loved, and there was nothing you could do about it.
You freeze, your train of thought evaporating into thin air when you suddenly feel a hand on your cheek, thumbing the tears away.
You could recognise his touch anywhere, hands calloused from animalistic tendencies but gentle as a lamb when he traced hearts on your skin.
Eyes fluttering open, you come face to face with Remus, his beautiful face scrunched up in a sullen frown. Your vision flickers over to Sirius, standing behind him.
Sirius looks unsteady on his feet, swaying slightly from side to side with bloodshot eyes and tear tracks on his cheeks. Your heart feels heavy in your chest, and you know you probably look just as bad as he does. He was gazing at you with an unfamiliar desperation in his eyes, which truly, really mortified you. And to think you thought he would be pleased with the breakup - god, you were horrible.
“Dove,” Remus breathes out in a quiet rasp, drawing your attention back to him. You will your heart to stay intact as you look into his hazel eyes, but you feel it breaking anyway. Not a single word comes out your mouth knowing full well that you would break down into a sobbing mess if you spoke. You avert your gaze and opt to stare at the ground instead.
“Hey, look at me, please,” he whispers, rubbing your cheek again with those stupidly lovely hands and looking at you with those disgustingly pretty eyes and all the love in the world that you wished that you could die. You quietly raise your head to look at Remus again, and he offers you a small, forced smile to compensate you for your effort. “There’s my girl,” he murmurs.
His hand suddenly retracts from your face, and you hate to admit it but you miss his warmth immediately. His eyes widen slightly, and it’s like he remembered that you’re not his girl anymore. You’re not his.
There’s a beat of sad silence as all of you sit with the fact that things weren’t the same as they used to be, maybe they never would be.
“Y/n,” Sirius croaks out, breaking the silence as you whip your head up to look at his grief-stricken face. It’s not so much the brokenness of his voice as the fact that he isn’t trying to hide it which hurts your heart. “Can we… can we please just talk this out? Please?”
He takes a small wobbly step toward you, extending his hand. You feel the sirens in your head start to sound loudly. Should you give him your hand? Should you give him your heart again?
You despise the feeling of longing which immediately strikes you. The desire to feel Sirius’ fingers intertwined with yours again, the wish to hold him in your arms, the need to wipe those tears from his lovely face. You wished things to be as they once were, his arms around your waist and lips on your forehead. Remus’ head on your lap as you combed your fingers through his hair, eyes fleetingly meeting before smiles full of love were passed around. It wasn’t just a relationship, it was a home. It was achingly sacred.
That home was broken, tarnished. Maybe it had been broken since the day you fell in love with them. Maybe it had been torn apart when they carried their relationship along without you. Or maybe you had ruined it when you told them you wanted no part in this affair anymore.
But if there was one thing you knew, it was that things that were broken could be fixed. You knew this fact like the back of your hand, from the countless times Remus had uttered those exact words to you when you were dissolving into a mess of tears and panic. You knew the words from when Sirius murmured them softly in your ear, stroking your hair as you sobbed yourself half to death. When you were trapped under the debris of problems that was your life, broken and scarred, they had pulled you out. They had fixed you.
Undeniably, Sirius and Remus had made their fair share of mistakes, unintentionally shunning you from the best parts of their relationship. They had torn your heart apart, but they fixed it up every single time they kissed you or smiled at you like you were the most precious thing in the world. Those fleeting moments had made all the hurt seem like nothing.
So who were you to deny the boys your affection? Even when they made mistakes, it was okay; because they loved you, and that was enough. You knew they might stumble and they may mess things up, but they would always get back up and take your hand. The sheer force of their love would be enough to overcome their shortcomings, you were sure of it.
So when Sirius stretches out his palm towards you, you wrap your hand around his. Remus watches on quietly, wide eyes darting between the both of you.
Sirius’ face lights up immediately, a hint of relief in his eyes. It looks like all the tension has left his features as he gives you a small grin. Your lips curve upwards in a soft smile.
“Yeah, I think… I think we can talk about it. I’m sorry for just walking out on you guys like that.”
“No, angel,” Remus retorts immediately, standing up and wrapping an arm around your waist to haul you up as well. “It’s not your fault at all. We… we screwed up, big time. We were blind to your feelings, and we’re really fucking sorry for that,” he sighs, running a hand through his hair defeatedly.
“But we’re gonna do better. We’re gonna make it work,” Sirius pipes up uncharacteristically firmly, his hand squeezing yours reassuringly. Remus nods, lifting his gaze to look at you as well. “Yeah, for you. We’re gonna try harder just for you.” Seeing the determination and love on their faces involuntarily melts your heart and brings a smile to your face, a real one this time.
The hint of happiness on your face is a big enough victory for them, Sirius’ smile morphing into a usual full-blown grin, and Remus’ arm tightening around your waist as he pulls you into his side. He moves towards the common room, Sirius’ hand still tightly gripping yours.
“We’re gonna talk about it, but not after some much-deserved cuddles and hot chocolate,” Remus murmurs, a small grin gracing his face when he sees the smile on your lips. The three of you walk in that awfully awkward position, you pressed against Remus with your hand tightly gripping Sirius’.
But you wouldn’t have it any other way. Just like this relationship, which had its ups and downs. That was especially the case for a three-way affair, something foreign to all of you. You were bound to slip up and you were bound to make mistakes.
But you loved them, and they loved you. That was all that mattered.
Hi! Could you write headcanons for marauders with a dhampir reader(half vampire half witch) whos a part of the marauders? No romance if possible xx
hello!! thank you for the request, this was really fun to research about and write. let me know if there’s anything i got wrong :)
headcanons of marauders x half-witch, half-vampire!reader
tw: mentions of blood
• james goes starry-eyed whenever you do even the slightest of cool things, like one-handedly lifting a large stack of books because of your enhanced strength
• he forces you to play quidditch with him, happy that there’s “finally someone who can give him some competition” with your fast reflexes
• he’s insanely protective of you, and immediately gets riled up when someone is mean to you
• and he protests that you should speak to dumbledore about getting safe sources of blood to consume, frustrated when you keep insisting that it’s okay
• sirius can’t keep his eyes off of you when you move because you do it so gracefully that he wonders if you’re even real
• he thinks your being a vampire is the coolest thing ever. like when he’s introducing you to someone new, he never forgets to mention, “oh, and she’s a half-vampire,” and he’ll wrap his arm around your waist proudly as you die of embarrassment
• he hexes anyone who dares to say a word about your vampire identity
• you and sirius have the same dark humor. essentially matching each other’s freak
• sometimes he just shows up with big bottles of blood for you to drink and never tells you where he got them from
• remus asks you to teach him all about the dark magic you know, the two of you spend hours in the library pouring over books about enchantments and darkness
• if someone discriminates against you, he’ll just silently glare at them, but later he’ll cast the nastiest prank ever known to humankind on them
• remus and you just get each other, both of you having that one dark part of yourself you can’t seem to love
• the two of you go on walks late at night and sit near the black pond to talk about how deeply you hate yourselves
• remus is eternally grateful to you for helping to heal him with blood magic after full moons. he acts like he hates that you’re doing this, but he’s so thankful he has to blink tears away
• he offers to kill people (with a straight face) in order to satisfy your blood cravings, which you hastily decline
• he spends hours researching until he finally finds a spell, which he casts on you when you’re asleep every morning, so the sun doesn’t affect you as much throughout the day
• on the off-chance that remus forgets to cast the spell, the boys overreact when you start to burn up in the sun
• sirius shrieks and grabs your hand, running and pulling you to shelter while screaming about how you’re dying and melting away
• james immediately tries to stand tall and shield you from the heat, hurriedly ushering you back into shelter before he worriedly takes a look at your burns
• peter just lathers some magical sunblock on you which he carries around with him
• peter was terrified of you and your abilities when you first met, but slowly grows fond of you
• he’s the only one with common sense when it comes to your need to consume blood, and charms goblets to automatically produce it
• he always has vials of blood in his bag for you
• you’re the marauders’ secret weapon when playing pranks because you’re really good at sneaking around and detecting when someone’s gonna catch you
• they make sure you never feel like a burden, and always do their best to help you, whether it’s by finding shaded paths to walk on or by staying up with you when your nocturnal tendencies act up
poly!wolfstar masterlist — ☪︎
❤︎ — fluff | ☁︎ — angst | ✿ — san’s favs
meant to be — you don't feel like you fit in their relationship ☁︎ ✿
part 2 — they made mistakes, but you know they love you ☁︎ ❤︎ ✿
poly!wolfstar x fem!reader (headcanons) ❤︎
poly!marauders masterlist — ✩₊⋆☾⋆˚ ☼
❤︎ — fluff | ☁︎ — angst | ✿ — san’s favs
roommate!marauders x fem!reader (headcanons) ❤︎
marauders x gn!reader who forgets to take care of themselves (headcanons) ❤︎
marauders x half-witch, half-vampire!reader (headcanons) ❤︎
alone — they comfort you when you’re scared of what life would be like after their deaths (half-witch, half vampire!reader) ☁︎ ❤︎ ✿
HELLO SAN i loved meant to be in fact i created this acc just to read ur stuff so can we please please have poly wolfstar headcanons with lots of fluff 🥰🥰🥰🥰
i love you ♡ and yes of course you can! also i got so carried away, this was very self-indulgent and fun to write <3
headcanons of poly!wolfstar x fem!reader
tw: tooth-rotting fluff, one mention of sex but if you blink it's gone
personalised nicknames! all of you have different terms of endearment for each other so you don’t get mixed up (remus calls you dove/sweetheart, and sirius calls you love/pretty girl <3)
sirius is always in the middle when the three of you are walking together, holding both yours and remus’ hands
sirius loves laying his head in your lap, letting you comb your fingers through his hair and make small braids in it
he goes crazy when you braid flowers into his hair, peppering kisses all over your face and relishing in the victory of you blushing
he bombards yours and remus’ faces with kisses all the time anyway, he doesn’t need an excuse for it
whenever there’s parties, sirius does both of your makeup for you. you can’t stop giggling as he does your eyeliner, he’ll tsk irritatedly and kiss you to shut you up. and remus keeps grumbling about how tedious the process is but sirius will tell him how pretty he looks and he’ll immediately zip his mouth
sirius loves to be pampered, especially after quidditch matches. he’ll lay on the bed while you rub curling cream into his hair and remus massages between his shoulder blades. the moans that escape his mouth from remus’ massaging are borderline sinful, and he claims that he would “trade sex for this any day”
speaking of quidditch matches. when gryffindor wins, everyone’s crowding around sirius and congratulating him, but he doesn’t care. he runs straight up to the stands and into yours’ and remus’ arms
both you and sirius lean against remus when cuddling, who has long arms to wrap around your waists, the tall wanker
remus chides the both of you for not doing assignments (he still does it for you anyway, pretending to hate doing it. but he loves how grateful you both are after he does)
he is a stupid stupid flirt who bends down to look into yours and sirius’ eyes when he talks to you. it makes your heart beat like crazy
sirius and you are always stealing remus’ grandpa sweaters because they’re just so comfy. he’d be like “where’s my-“ and then he’d see one of you wearing it and roll his eyes affectionately
remus is all for pressing kisses into yours and sirius’ hair
and you like to give them each a kiss on their nose, which makes remus turn red and sirius gush over how freaking adorable you are
after full moons, you clean remus up and press gentle kisses to his scars while sirius kisses his tears away. it’s a painful yet heavenly experience, it hurts and it heals
when you have period cramps, sirius massages your stomach and presses kisses to your hairline, while remus makes you hot chocolate and envelopes you in his warmth
sirius cries all day when he gets a letter from home. and the two of you are right by him the whole time, squeezing his hands, whispering reassurances into his ear, and wrapping him up in blankets and warm hugs
remus reads to the two of you every night till you fall asleep, hands interlaced and legs entangled. he’ll smile and press a kiss to each of your foreheads before falling asleep himself
cuddles every morning, smothering one other in tight hugs and kisses filled with bad breath and love. it’s especially nice when it rains; it storms outside, but you’re all cosy in your safe haven
you’re in their dorm room so much it might as well be yours. and it’s always lively with music from sirius’ record player
the three of you hold hands and jam out to the music, all awkward movements and tripping up, but it’s so much fun
all of you go for picnics together, or just sit under a tree near the black lake. remus will read his book, you’ll lay in his lap and make flower crowns, and sirius rests his head on your stomach while he paints his nails. remus will occasionally bend down to press a kiss to sirius’ knuckles or between your eyebrows
hugs hugs hugs so many group hugs and being squeezed until you feel all the sadness seep out, and you wish you could stay there forever with sirius’ arms holding you close and remus’ chin on the top of your head. it feels like home
hellooo, hope you’re doing well! could you write a hurt/comfort for poly!marauders with dhampir reader, specifically the headcannon where Remus and reader go on walks and talk about their insecurities regarding their identity. reader talks about their immortality and that they fear the day the marauders are gone, maybe James and Sirius come in and comfort reader? Idk just make it as painful as possible, thank you sm!!
aaaa yes!! thank you so much for the request babe <3 this is my first time writing a poly!marauders fic, so i hope i got the dynamics right :, )
for anyone wondering, the headcanon the anon was referring to can be found here
alone | poly!marauders
tw: two mentions of sex, but absolutely nothing explicit
half-vampire, half-witch!reader, poly!marauders x reader
“Dove,” Remus breathes, a false picture of calmness even though concern seeps into his tone. “Deep breaths, please. Deep breaths for me.”
His thumb continued to apply gentle pressure between your shoulder blades as you sit there, red-rimmed eyes and tear-streaked cheeks. Remus thinks he can feel his heart breaking everytime you sniffle, the pitiful sound from deep inside your chest.
The two of you sit by the black lake, the moon lighting up the space. This was almost a weekly occurrence; both of you pulling yourselves out of your other two boyfriends’ sleepy embraces to sneak out and sit together on the expanse of grass.
You’d talk about the blood-thirsty monsters haunting parts of you till the sun started to rise, and fall asleep holding each other’s hands. The next morning, you’d wake up on the grass wrapped in James’ arms with Sirius peppering kisses all over your faces, and everything would be alright again.
This time was different, though; Remus knew it, and he was sure that by some form of instinct, James and Sirius would be able to sense it too despite the distance.
You were absolutely distraught, and he had no idea why. The two of you were sitting in silence when you broke down all of a sudden, and now he was desperate to make you smile again.
He was right — soon enough, the shuffling of leaves and poorly concealed whispers could be heard behind you.
“I told you something was wrong!”
“What? What’s wrong? The only thing wrong here is that they’re getting cosy without us!” Remus can hear Sirius grumbling, unable to stop a small smile from curving his lips despite the situation.
“Pads! She’s crying,” James huffs quietly.
Within seconds, Sirius rushes to crouch down in front of you, his eyes wide with panic. His eyebrows are bunched in concern, mouth set in a frown. “What’s wrong?” he asks, his voice coming out shriller than he intended to.
You tense and shrug noncommittally, gaze fixed on the ground as you try to blink away the tears blurring your vision. He softens slightly upon seeing the look on your face and gently takes your hands.
Sirius opens his mouth to speak again but James holds a finger to his lips, a silent plea to let you be. He rolls his eyes but keeps his mouth closed, starting to rub your palms with his thumbs.
James looks at Remus quizzically for an explanation, to which he shrugs — he had no idea what had triggered you so terribly. James sighs, and you feel his warmth instantly as he sits down beside you.
“Hi angel,” he murmurs, turning to you with a small smile. He reaches out and brushes a few strands of hair off your face, and you find yourself involuntarily leaning into his touch.
“Hello,” you mumble.
James feels his heart sink at the sound of your defeated voice, and he can tell how much effort it was taking you to hold back tears. “Can you tell us why you’re upset?”
“I… I don’t—“ you warble, “I’m fine, really.”
It takes all of Sirius’ willpower not to roll his eyes at your blatant lie. “Love, you’re crying. Just spit it out.”
Remus and James both turn to glare at Sirius, but he just shrugs and eyes you impatiently. Apparently, Sirius’ goad was all you needed to get you started. “I was just…. I don’t wanna be alone,” you croak pathetically.
Remus’ ministrations on your back still immediately, completely abandoning his project as he drops his arm to the ground. Sirius furrows his eyebrows, looking at you strangely as though you were some sort of crossword puzzle.
“Alone?” James echoed, pouting with puzzlement. “What… what do you mean, alone? You have us, sweetheart. We’re never leaving you.”
“Yeah,” Sirius pipes up, gently lifting one of your hands to press a chaste kiss to your knuckles.
“But you are,” you insist, and James can hear the desperation in your voice. He tugs you closer to him, wrapping a strong arm around your shoulder silently.
“Why would we ever leave you?” Remus speaks up softly, lifting a hand to gently comb through your hair. “What did we do to make you think that we would?”
“It’s not— you guys didn’t—“ you let out a frustrated sob, roughly raking your fingers through your hair. There was no easy way to go about this conversation, and you hated yourself for having to do this to them.
James makes a pitiful sound in the back of his throat and starts rubbing your arm encouragingly. He presses a quick kiss to your hairline, feeling more worried by the minute.
Sirius squeezes your hands firmly, applying pressure until it hurt and you finally raise your eyes to look at him. You’re scared of the anger, or worse — disappointment — you’d find, but there’s a bountiful amount of love in his gaze. He looks at you imploringly, saying nothing yet everything with his eyes.
You sigh shakily. “You’re all gonna die one day, and… and you’re gonna leave me here. Alone,” you warble, your voice growing softer with each word until your last one came out as a whisper. “And — and I’ll have to live without you, and I’ll be so loveless, and —“
James can’t take it anymore, and pulls you into his lap without warning, bringing your head to his chest. The walls of your dam start to break as you let out a sob, feeling the fear and sadness pouring out of you. He rubs small circles into your back, nestling his chin in your hair as he glances at his boyfriends worriedly.
You’re scared; to say the least. The three of them had been by your side for years, and your world revolved around them. You didn’t think you knew what else to live for if it wasn’t for them, their bright grins and heartfelt love. The way James crouched slightly to hug you, how Sirius pulled you into his side and peppered kisses all over your face, Remus’ hand in yours as he pressed his lips to your own — you didn’t think you could last a day without them and their endearing little quirks.
Living alone wasn’t something you had in you to do; because it wasn’t really living if it wasn’t with them. The thought of waking up in an empty bed sends a shudder through you as you squeeze your eyes impossibly tighter.
“Baby,” Sirius speaks softly, and your heart clenches at the way his voice cracks. He places a hand on the nape of your neck, slowly rubbing up and down. “Maybe… maybe you won’t have us in the future. But —“
That was the wrong thing to say, as you let out a wail and cling impossibly harder to James. Remus flicks the side of Sirius’ head chidingly as James rolls his eyes. Sirius lets out a sad exhale, blinking away tears. He never knows how to fix things.
The tall boy notices the way Sirius’ head was lowered, and immediately wraps both arms around him, pressing kisses to his hair. James tries not to smile upon seeing Sirius melt into his touch.
He locks eyes with Remus, and nods quietly to let him know he can handle it.
“Angel,” James coaxes softly. “Look up at me, please?”
You sniffle softly, raising your head to meet his gaze. James frowns when he sees your puffy red eyes, reaching out to wipe your tears.
“Do you love us for our bodies?”
The question catches you off guard, your eyebrows arching. Was he joking? In a situation like this? You hear the unmistakable sound of Remus snorting behind you. “What?”
“I said,” James repeated, “do you love us for our bodies?”
“No!” you splutter, some of your melancholy leaving to make way for confusion. “What — why —“
“Exactly,” James says firmly, immediately shutting you up with the sincerity in his voice. “You don’t love us for our bodies, for our physicality. You love us for us, for our love. And let me tell you, our love is something that’s gonna stay with you until the end of time.”
You immediately soften at his words. “But I won’t have you here, you won’t be —“
“We will,” James responds softly, jabbing a finger into the left side of your chest. “We will be here. Right here.”
You feel your heart swell with sad affection; feeling nostalgia towards something that hasn’t even happened yet.
Remus scoots forward to wrap his arms around your waist, pulling your back snug against his chest. “And we’re here with you now. We’re going to be with you for years, dove. We’re not going anywhere anytime soon, okay?”
You let your eyes flutter closed, let yourself indulge for a moment as you nod blindly. It was impossible for you to stay upset when your boys were comforting you with saccharine voices and sweet touches. Perhaps they were right, they always were.
You hear a sniffle from your left, and open your eyes to look at Sirius. He had tears running down his cheeks, and was looking at you with his mouth open and a heartbroken look on his face. Remus let out a quiet chuckle, and you turn to give him a death glare as you crawl out of his lap and over to Sirius.
Sirius immediately pulls you into a strangling hug, burying his face in the crook of your neck as he cries. “Why are you crying?” James questions, bemused with the slightest hint of concern in his tone.
“My poor baby, she’s gonna be all alone,” he blubbered, earning a small smile from you. He pulls away and raises his head to look at you, gripping your cheeks with a fervour and desperation you’ve never seen before. “I’m gonna write you a letter everyday, so you can read them all when I’m gone. And… and I’ll make you a scrapbook of my most handsome pictures.”
You smile indulgently at him. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he blabs on, wiping his nose. “And we can make sex tapes in case you’re extra horny when you’re old, and…”
“Okay, I think that’s enough,” Remus says loudly, earning a giggle from you as James swats the back of Sirius’ head.
You rest your head on Sirius’ shoulder, feeling James peck your cheek and Remus’ arm wrapping around your waist.
Grief was inevitable, but it was just love coming back to haunt you, wasn’t it? Even after they passed, you’d find them in the way the wind travels on chilly nights, the glimmer of the sun at dawn, and maybe even the occasional sex tape. In everything you see, you would see them.
Their unconditional devotion to you transcended the blurry lines of mortality, and you knew that as long as your heart continued to beat, they would never stop loving you. James was right — they had left the mark of their love in every corner of your heart and home; and weren’t ever going to leave you alone.
For poly!marauders request (I saw you asked for some) could you do one where the reader faints out of nowhere and the boys get all panicked and worried and fret over her? 🌙
Hii! Thank you for the great request🫶🏻 It’ll be the first time I do a Poly!Marauder fic so pls do bear with me, I tweaked it a bit, hope you enjoy!
Worried Sick
Pairings: Poly!Marauders x Reader
CW: Mentions of toxic habits, Sirius being an arse, reader fainting, and language.
To say that you were tired would be an understatement. You were exhausted- mentally, and physically as you were buried in a mountain of books, flipping through almost a hundred pages an hour as you tried to juggle three essays and review for NEWTS all at once.
You were so immersed in your studying, the sound of pages flipping and scratching of the quill against parchment made you slip into a hyper-focused mode that you don’t notice the passage of time making you effectively miss lunch and dinner.
“There’s my smart darling!”
Sirius grins, sneaking up to you and kissing your cheek. You jolted, looking up as you saw him, and your other boyfriends sit next to you in the library.
“Hey guys.” You try your best to muster up a cheery smile for them. Remus, who was seated beside you frowns as he notices your pale and tired face. “We haven’t seen you today, love.” You smiled sheepishly, “I was finishing up the essays we’re assigned this week.” Sirius shakes his head in a disapproving manner. “Darling, you know we could just copy off of Remus’s essay when he does it, right?” A protest from Remus was heard, making you chuckle.
“I don’t think our moony would appreciate that.” You cracked a small smile, “But he lets us copy off of his essays ever since we can remember!” James defended Sirius who nodded agreeingly.
“What we would appreciate though, is you not missing out on dinner.” Remus told you, pulling out an apple and two dishes that the house elves prepared, (bribed by James) placing it in front of you.
“Erm... I don’t really have an appetite right now, love.” You grimaced, seeing the stern expression of the werewolf. “You need to eat, darling.” James pleads, puppy eyes activating. You looked at the other two, they seemed to mirror James. “Please love, you’re making us worried sick.” Remus gently pushed the food in your direction.
“Alright then…” How could you possibly deny your adorable boyfriends?
This continued for a few days or so, each day got the boys increasingly worried than yesterday. Sleeping for four hours (five if you’re lucky) and studying all day became your new routine, you hardly even spend time with the boys anymore, only during breakfast at the great hall since you mostly skip lunch and dinner to study. If it weren’t for your friends and your boyfriends, you would’ve already starved.
You groaned, plopping down in between Remus and James, taking a bite of the toast in front of you, and ignoring the light headedness you were feeling since you woke up. Marlene looked up from her plate and winced as she took in the sight of you.
“Merlin, y/n. You look worse than a dementor.”
“Thanks Marls, appreciate it.” You grumbled, taking a swig of the pumpkin juice, grimacing as you felt that a huge gulp of the beverage and a small bite of toast was too much for your stomach to handle.
“I’m serious, when was the last time you had a good night’s rest?” She frowns, shaking her head as she gave a pointed look at your boyfriends. “There’s already three of you and you can’t even manage to take care of your girl?”
“Not my fault she chooses to stick her nose into books rather than spending time with us.” Sirius huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, his dramatic and petty side surfacing. “Pads.” Remus warns, the light headedness that you’ve felt suddenly worsens as you feel the urge to throw up. Lily seemed to notice, shooting a worried glance on your way as you waved it off.
“What Moony? It’s true! It’s like she forgot she even is in a committed relationship with us.” Sirius spat, getting riled up as James tried to diffuse the situation. “Sirius, I already said I’m sorry…” She rasped out, trying to reach for his hand but he jerked it away. “Don’t be a knobhead, Pads.” Remus glares at him, irritated by how he’s acting.
Sirius rolled his eyes, it was obvious that he was hurt; You rarely spend time with them anymore, accidentally pushing them away and shutting them out just because of those stupid academics. “Whatever.” He grunts, and stands up, walking away from the table.
You felt yourself get weak; as the great hall spins around you, cold sweat started to form on your temple as spots slowly made it’s wany into your vision. Despite your body practically screaming for you to just sit and stay still, you push yourself from the benches and follow him. “Sirius, love- “He turns to you, frowning. “What now?”
You opened your mouth, about to say a word when suddenly your legs gave out, the spots grew larger as you tried to look at Sirius before your world suddenly faded to black. You heard screams from the students, the loudest ones you recognized were from your friends, especially Marlene and Lily.
“Shit!” Sirius was thankful for his awfully fast reflexes that he managed to catch you before you hit your head on the cold floor. James and Remus rushed to the both of you. “Bloody hell, Pads!” James kneels in front of you, gently tapping your cheek as a sense of urgency surrounds them. “Darling, please open your eyes, can you hear me?” James asked you, every second that ticks makes the feeling of dread in his stomach grow larger.
“P-prongs, Moony… I promise I didn’t know she was going to faint…” Sirius whimpered as he cradles you, eyes looking frazzled and darting back and forth between his lovers. James felt his breath become faster, as you didn’t respond to any of his attempts. Other students started to gather around to take a peek on what’s happening in the middle of the great hall while Marlene and the other Gryffindor students kept them from nearing. Remus knelt next to James, trying not to freak out like what the other two are already doing. He slowly placed his trembling hand on your forehead. “No fever, but we need to take her to Madame Pomfrey.” He announces, biting his lip as Sirius lifts you up bridal style, the three of them rushing you to the hospital wing.
The bright and harsh light of the hospital wing made you wince, you slowly blink, trying to adjust to the brightness of your surroundings. “Darling! You’re awake!” James tackles you into a hug, almost squeezing out the air from your lungs.
“Prongs! Be careful!” Remus’s tone was harsh, as if scolding James. The boy slowly pulled away, pouting, which Remus had ignored. “How are you, love?” Remus’s gaze softened as he looked in your direction, taking your hand in his as he rubbed circles in the back of your hand.
“For the most part, I’m fine.” You croaked out, James immediately gave you water. After taking a few sips, you let your eyes wander around, someone was missing- Where’s Sirius?
James seemed to catch on this, “He’s outside, beating himself up for being an arsehole.” You frowned, “Can you please tell him to come in? I want to see him…” You mumbled, James nodded and fetched Sirius outside of the hospital wing.
After a short while, Sirius emerged, darting his eyes anywhere but onto you. “Love…” You gently called out to him; Sirius bit his lip as he finally took in the sight of you. “Darling, I’m sorry. I was such an arse to you.” He sincerely apologized while you shake your head, “I’m sorry too, I was stressing out too much. I barely even managed to take care of myself and spend time with you guys.”
“Just don’t do it again, darling. We almost lost our minds when you fainted.” James told you as he tucks stray hair behind your ear.
“I won’t do that again; I’ll just copy off of Moony’s work.” She chuckled, glancing at the said boy, she saw the twinkle in his eyes as he smiled and rolled his eyes playfully.
The sun’s rays filtered out in the curtains of the hospital wing, encasing the four in a warm glow as they conversed amongst themselves, putting the events behind them; silently promising to love and care for each other, through thick and thin.
Can I get period comfort with the marauders? and or all of them is fine, and it can be romantic or platonic! I might be projecting because I just got mine the time I’m typing this. 😩
Feel free to ignore this request if it makes you uncomfortable to write :-)
Hi darling, thank you for requesting, this is too cute ugh- I hope you don't mind but I made it Poly!Marauders! (I seriously need to have more fics of poly!Marauders) I also crave period comfort fics when it's that time of the month, so I hope this is what you had in mind, enjoy! (Note: I literally published this the second I finished writing it, expect possible typos and grammatical errors)
Lazy Days
Pairing: Poly!Marauders x Fem! Reader
CW: Language and Marlene being herself. (1.4k words)
“Godric’s balls, this shit bloody hurts.”
You groaned, it hasn’t even been a whole minute since you woke up; and you were already writhing in pain from your lower abdomen and the headache that was slowly getting stronger every second. Out of all the days you could’ve gotten your period, it just had to be where you made plans with your boyfriends to go to Hogsmeade.
You sometimes wondered what you did in your past life to deserve this monthly pain- Marlene tells you you’re just being overdramatic, but who is she to say that about you when she honestly thought she was going to pass out just because Dorcas talked to her? She had no right.
Lily looked over her shoulder and your direction as she was busy fixing her hair, trying to look presentable for the day as she scanned your form. “Your turn?” she asked, lightly frowning. You could only nod in reply as you watched her take out some heat pads, urging you to take it. You immediately snatched it out of her hands, muttering thanks to the red-haired girl and placing it in your tummy. “Are you still going to Hogsmeade with your lover boys?” she asked, applying a bit of lip gloss and mascara.
“Lils, can’t you see the state I’m in?” You complained, rolling in bed as two of your friends are already getting ready to go to their respective Hogsmeade dates. She shot you a pitying look, “I have a solution.” Marlene announces out loud, trying her best not to burst out laughing. “I know it won’t be any good as long as an idea is created in that head of yours, but let’s hear it.” You sat up, crossing your arms and staring at your friend, an eyebrow raised, urging her to go on.
She clutched her imaginary pearl necklaces and glared at you playfully. “How could you?! This solution will be effective for a couple of months, you know!” Now, that got you interested. Scooting to the foot of your bed, you leaned closer to what Marlene had to say, heck- even Lily stopped getting ready as she turned her full attention to Marlene. Was it a potion that can minimize period cramps? If so, you’re ready to spend hundreds of galleons just so you can get a hold of it.
“I say you get one of them to knock you up.” She cackled, barely avoiding the pillow you threw at her and Lily’s shocked gasp.
“You’re bonkers, Marlene!” You cried out, chucking another pillow in her laughing form which hit her in the head, making her stumble, but she continued to laugh hysterically.
Lily shakes her head, looking with a disapproving look at Marlene, like how a mother looks at her child when they misbehave. “We still must graduate, Marls. I’m sure Y/n is responsible enough and are taking… precautions.”
You blushed, looking away. “Damn right we are.” She grumbles, making Marlene laugh even harder.
“Darling? You in there?” Remus knocks gently, Lily opened the door to see Remus dressed in one of his grandpa sweaters, his messenger bag that he got from the three of you on his birthday was already with him, clearly ready to go.
“We’re still waiting on Padfoot and his hair care routine but other than that, we’re good to go- “Remus stopped when he stepped inside the room and saw you, disheveled and far from ready for your date. Your scarred boyfriend frowned, immediately placing the back of his hand on your forehead, checking your temperature. “Feeling under the weather, love?” before you could even answer, the little shit- Marlene, answered for you.
“She wants the three of you to knock her up so she wouldn’t have to deal with monthly periods.”
You can feel your boyfriend sputter beside you, no doubt blushing like a tomato as he managed to stutter, “W-what?” Merlin, you just want to dissolve than be here at this exact moment.
“Marlene, shut up before I hex you too much you couldn’t go on your date with Dorcas.” You warned, looking everywhere and anything to just not meet one of your boyfriend’s eyes. “I’m joking! Love you, Y/n! See ya later!” She rushed out of the room before you could even think of grabbing your wand, bumping into James and Sirius in the process.
“What was that about?” James asked no one in particular, his arm wrapped around Sirius’ waist as they entered the room. Lily sighed, “Just Marlene being Marlene.” She grabbed her bag, about to leave. “I’ll see you later, Y/n! No funny business.” Lily glares in warning at the boys, before shooting you a smile and closing the door shut.
“Now, why aren’t you dressed yet darling?” Sirius kissed your cheek in greeting, sitting beside you as James took a seat beside Remus. “Period cramps.” You grumbled, plopping on your bed again, sighing. “Sorry my loves, looks like you three have no choice but wish I was with you in Honeydukes.” You joked, seeing them exchange a glance with each other. “If you can’t go then we won’t go.” James concluded, already taking off his shoes as Sirius shimmied off his leather jacket and Doc Martens, racing with James, seeing who can cuddle with you fastest.
Remus sighs, sharing a look with you as he saw both his boyfriends almost squish you. “You blokes.” He proceeded to take off his converse and join the cuddle puddle, placing a hand on your lower abdomen, “heat pads?” He asks, looking at you.
“Yeah, Lily let me borrow hers.” You protested when Remus basically took it and threw it on Lily’s bed. “You’re mean, Remmy.” Whining, you try to get up and get it back when the boys gently push you down, not letting you escape their grasp.
“It was already pretty cold, darling. Besides, I’m here.” Remus places his warm hand on your abdomen, even massaging it lightly. You visibly relaxed under his touch. “See? Much better.” He grins. You chuckled, “Yeah, I forgot. You’re a walking furnace, love.”
“If we dropped an egg on Moony, would it sizzle? Or just slowly cook?” James asked curiously, making you throw your head back in laughter.
The room was filled with warmth, with Sirius and James’ presence as well as Remus’ literal warmth. You nestled deep into the cozy nest that the boys had seemed to create, as if protecting you from the outside world, their perfumes wafted into the air, making you relaxed and a tad bit sleepy.
“You know,” Sirius started, his lips brushing gently against your temple, “I’ve heard that cuddling is a natural remedy for period cramps. Scientifically proven, I swear.”
James, who was sprawled out on the other side of the bed, nodded eagerly. “Absolutely. It’s in the Marauder’s Handbook, right next to the chapter on pranks and secret passageways.” Remus rolled his eyes playfully at their antics.
“Marauder’s handbook, huh? So, you’re telling me not only do you have a map but a magical handbook as well?” She teased, raising one eyebrow at Potter’s claims. “I have to see it.” James grins sheepishly, “Erm, well… Moony’s still writing it- “
“Don’t drag me into that, Prongs.”
“Such dorks… I guess I’ll just have to take your guys’ word for it, huh?” You grin, while James hums in agreement. Now, you wonder if you were a hero that saved a nation in your past life to even call the three dorks cuddling you your boyfriends.
“Who needs Honeydukes when I’ve got you guys?” You gestured to their faces, earning a chorus of mock protests. “Oi, I’m not a chocolate frog,” Sirius protested, but his eyes softened as he gazed at you. “But I’d gladly be your Honeydukes substitute.” He winks playfully.
“You sure do look like one though, Padfoot.” James teased as he wiggled his toes under the blanket.
“What was that supposed to mean?!”
“Nothing, I’m just joking!” James automatically shielded his face as Sirius tried to hit his arm, whining.
Together, they cocooned you in affection, their laughter blending with yours. In the little corner of your dorm, you were surrounded by love, laughter, and the promise of more lazy days with just you and your boys.
“So,” James said, breaking the comfortable silence, “who’s up for a game of Exploding Snap?” You groaned, “What if the cards explode all over my bed? I don’t have the energy to clean up after you guys.”
Sirius grinned. “Then we’ll just have to cast a cleaning charm. Besides, it’s worth it to see Moony’s face when he loses.”
Remus rolled his eyes. “I’ll have you know I’m an excellent card player.”
“Sure, Moony,” James teased. “Just like you’re an excellent cook.”
Remus snorted, “Like you’re any better than me, Prongs.”
🫠🫶🏻
Hiiii! I have a request, poly!marauders x animagus!fem reader (you decide what type of animal) and everytime it’s full moon she turn into an animagus and watches hboyfriends (kinda lurks around secretly) as they take care of Remus. The thing is they don’t know that she’s an animagus, and what would their reaction be when they found out?
(You’re an amazing writer and your fics makes my day🫶🏻)
this was so sweet - thanks for your request and for your patience in me getting this to you!
please note: my requests are currently closed as I finish exams and work through the requests that I currently have.
poly!marauders x fem!reader who's a secret animagus
Prongs was very confused.
This was the third moon in a row that he, Padfoot, Wormtail, and Moony had been romping through the woods when Moony seemed to get caught up on something.
He wasn’t sure what had changed; they always followed the same routine: transform in the shack, let Moony out, follow their trail where they can run (and roll, in Moony & Padfoots case) down a large hill, chase each other along the river bank, drink from the edge of the Black Lake, and slowly make their way back to the shack for Moony’s transformation.
Except, once again, they seemed to be caught up under this unassuming tree.
Prongs looked to his canine companion who offered what he could only assume as a doggy shoulder shrug as Moony yipped and stood on his hind legs in an attempt to see through the lowest bows of the tree.
The first time this happened, Moony almost took one of Padfoot’s legs off for trying to encourage him to leave the tree.
The second time, Moony could only be convinced to leave as his bones actually started stretching and reorganising themselves as the transformation started.
What was even stranger, though? After both of those moons, Remus woke up in a panic asking where you were and if you were ‘okay’.
It took Sirius shifting back into Padfoot and laying across Remus’ chest in order to provide grounding pressure to his chest before they could get him to calm back down and convince him that you were safe.
James hated seeing this side of Remus; the side of him that none of them had seen since before the Marauders told him that they knew his secret. He felt horribly paranoid, reclusive, and entirely too guilty.
Guilty for daring to love you even though he felt you deserved better. Guilty for allowing you to love a werewolf. Guilty for not telling you that you were in love with a werewolf. And guilty for lying to you about it every month.
Sirius and James hated the secrecy too - but it wasn’t their secret to tell. They loved you, but they couldn’t take away Remus’ autonomy when it came to his infliction.
But, tonight - the third moon in a row of this nonsense from Moony - and Prongs had had it.
Prongs bowed his head and scooped Wormtail up into his antlers, hoisting him up to the lowest branch of this damned tree Moony was fucking obsessed with and encouraged him to investigate.
Moony let out a little whine and a huff as he sat and watched the little rat disappear through the bows of the grand pine.
A squeak alerted the two animagi and one werewolf to trouble when the top branches began to move and out flew a large black crow with a rat trapped in its talons.
The crow gently glided to the ground about ten feet away from the trio and let go of the rat who quickly ran up Prong’s leg and situated himself in the safety of his antlers.
Padfoot - ever protective of his pack of misfit toys animals - began stalking toward the offending bird, sure that Moony was just as excited as he was about this impromptu hunt. It wasn’t their favourite - it was not a rabbit - but it would do.
However, much to both Padfoot and Prongs’ surprise, Moony quickly leapt in front of the crow and grumbled warningly at Padfoot, going so far as to bare his teeth at his pack member.
Padfoot tilted his head in confusion at Moony as if perhaps the situation would make more sense at a 45 degree angle, but it appeared that it made no difference when Pads ultimately huffed and turned back towards Prongs.
Prongs wanted to laugh - but deer stags couldn’t do that - so he let out a ‘bleat’ as the crow flew above Padfoot and teasingly landed on his head.
Padfoot, ready for a fight, turned to nip at the bird who simply jumped back up and hovered just out of reach of the dog.
Prongs was suddenly even more confused.
What crow willingly releases a plump, likely juicy, rat from its talons instead of enjoying it as their meal? And what crow willingly teases a large werewolf sized dog in front of his werewolf friend?
This one, apparently.
And Moony - usually very possessive and exclusionary when it came to the other creatures they came across in the Forbidden Forest - seemed not only accepting of this new addition, but really quite pleased with it.
But it was time to go if Moony’s flinches and groaning was any indication; the transformation would happen soon.
Padfoot moved towards Moony and affectionately nudged him with his shoulder, hoping to encourage him towards the Shrieking Shack.
Moony seemed to understand that he ought to go, but couldn’t bring himself to leave without his newest friend.
Somehow - to Prongs’ absolute astonishment - the crow seemed to understand what the hold up was and flew over to situate itself on Prongs’ antler.
Prongs - far too tired after a night full of romping with a werewolf directly after a full day of classes - acquiesced to being a glorified chauffeur for his smaller friends and led the way to the shack.
The crow sat quietly on the top of the old fireplace as the Marauders went about business as usual.
Padfoot convinced Moony to curl up on the bed so he would wake up at least semi-comfortably, whilst Prongs used his antlers to encourage a blanket up around Moony so he wouldn’t wake up completely nude, and Peter ran back towards the castle to give the lovers some privacy.
Once Moony returned fully to Remus, Prongs and Padfoot took a moment to shift back to their own human forms and started up on the healing process, completely forgetting about their interloper.
With a groan, Remus came to after James encouraged healing potion down his throat.
“I’m sorry, Moons.” He apologised in a whisper as he handed the empty vial to Sirius’ waiting hand.
“Where is she?” Remus croaked.
“Where’s who, babe?” Sirius asked, sharing a concerned glance with James.
Remus choked in his attempt to respond and both boys began shushing him. “Dovey.” He finally got out.
“She’s at the castle, Moons…she’s safe.” James placated.
“No.” Remus argued. “She was there.”
James turned to see if Sirius had any idea how to handle their boyfriend’s insanity when he spotted it behind Sirius.
The crow.
“You.” He whispered in awe, causing Sirius to whip his head around.
The crow hopped down from the mantle of the fireplace and landed gracefully on the floor before it spun and grew back into you.
“Dovey.” Remus groaned. James turned to see there were tears in Remus’ eyes, though he knew not what for.
“Hiya Moons.” You answered shyly, shooting guilty glances at Sirius who was still staring at you in shock and to James who was looking frantically between you and Remus.
“It’s been you?” James asked incredulously.
“How long have you known?” Remus asked at the same time.
You smiled sadly at Remus and knelt down beside him. “Long enough to become an animagi?”
“You sneaky little witch.” Sirius finally let out with a breath, sitting down unceremoniously at the foot of the bed to look at you.
“I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad.” You begged quickly; eyes darting nervously between your three boyfriends.
“You’re worried about us being mad?” Sirius asked disbelievingly.
“Angel, you’ve caught us sneaking around and lying to you.” James teased with a certain level of sincerity, nudging you with his shoulder.
“Do you hate me?” Remus whispered, eyes still trained steadfast on you.
You looked at him like he had grown three heads.
“Remus, I love you. That’s why I’m here.” You pressed severely.
Remus laughed out a sob and covered his face with his hands.
“I’m sorry, but what the fuck were you thinking?” Sirius asked suddenly.
“What?” You responded warily.
“Casually inserting yourself into a werewolf pack! What would you have done if Moony hated you?” He barked, flinging a hand towards Remus’ general direction.
You scoffed derisively and shot Remus a look like ‘can you believe this guy?’ “I’m impossible not to love, Sirius. Do keep up.”
Your cheek earned you a scoff before Sirius was launching himself at you and the two of you fell to the floor, disturbing layers of dust and causing the particles to dance through the air.
“You’re so lucky you're cute.” Sirius said in faux contempt as he peppered your jaw and neck with kisses.
James sighed in relief as he looked back over at Remus who was watching the two of you with a look so full of fondness, James was surprised he couldn’t see hearts pouring out of his eyes.
“You okay, Rem?” James asked him quietly, pulling one of his hands to his mouth and pressing a kiss to his palm.
“Perfect, Jamie. Just perfect.” Remus said with a content smile and a single happy tear trailing down his cheek.
James was more than inclined to agree.
Just a blurb on how I imagine the marauders would be like when reader is study. Not like I’m projecting or anything and I’m not totally wishing the marauders keep me company while studying.
Study Buddies? Yeah No
Pairing: Poly Marauders x GN! Reader
CW: Use of “dollie” by Sirius and that’s pretty much everything? Unedited so there might be typos/grammatical errors.
Libraries were one of your sanctuaries— along with the astronomy tower in the wee hours of night, and the common room where the cackles of fire magically lulls you to sleep and relax.
With NEWTS just around the corner, best believe you’re in the library 24/7 except when it was time to eat (Lily, Marlene, and the boys had to drag you away from the library) and when it’s curfew. (Again, they had to come and get you)
“Draught of the living dead… where is it?” You mumble to yourself, flipping page after page of the comically large book in front of you.
You were drowned in piles of books, and immersed in the scratching of your quill against the parchment. Hastily jotting down information, you didn’t notice your boyfriends entering the library— looking for a specific target of their affections.
“Where’s dollie?” Sirius asks, looking around trying to spot you hunched over, surrounded by books, and muttering to yourself like a madman.
“They’re not in their usual spot.” James frowned, seeing your favorite spot was taken by a random Ravenclaw bloke.
“Over there.” Remus nudged his boyfriends, motioning for them to look at the tables near the windows, lo and behold— you were there studying. Just like how Sirius exactly pictured it.
“Merlin, they’re not giving themselves a break.” James shakes his head, walking up to a clueless you while Remus and Sirius followed suit.
“Hey lovebug.”
It was like you were broken out of a spell, you whipped your head to your side to see James making himself at home and hugging your side while nuzzling your neck.
"Jamie? Remmy? Siri? What are you guys doing here?" Now, it's not like you were annoyed they were there; it was just that their presence was a delightful distraction you hadn’t anticipated.
James ignored your question, focused on nuzzling you while Remus rolled his eyes playfully at Prongs’ antics.
“Taking you away from this,” Sirius said with a grin, waving his hand over the sea of books. “You’ve been cooped up here too long, dollie. Might start turning into an old book too.”
“Excuse me?”
Remus decided to step in before another stupid thing comes out of your boyfriend’s mouth. “We’ve brought you some chocolate. You know, for brain food.” He placed a small, wrapped package next to your inkwell.
“Aw.. you guys..” You beamed a smile to your lovers, appreciating their efforts. Leaning to them and giving them each a kiss on the cheek, it felt like the heavy burden and stress of school was momentarily lifted off your shoulders.
“I know, I know. No need to thank us, babe.” Sirius waved you off jokingly, you rolled your eyes. “You guys are impossible.” But they didn’t miss the small smile on your face.
He shrugs, taking a seat across from you as Remus followed him. “Sounds about right, and Prongs, stop hogging her!”
“Never!”
Before they can even whine argue, Remus piped up. “We’ve planned a little stargazing break at the astronomy tower tonight. Just the four of us.”
The idea was tempting, a perfect way to unwind. Humming, you thought about it, tapping your finger against your lips, “Alright, but only for a little while,” you conceded, already imagining the quiet comfort of the night sky and your three boyfriends.
As you packed up your things, they each took a book from the pile, helping you tidy up and return the books to their rightful shelves. With one arm around James, a chocolate from Remus in hand, and Sirius leading the way with his usual dramatic flair, you left the library behind, the promise of laughter and starlight guiding you to your next sanctuary.
Poly!marauders x readers where maybe they are roommates and love the reader and being touchy and caring but the reader just thinks they are affectionate with all their friends?
Thanks for the request darling! I am more than happy to oblige. Thank you for patiently waiting too since it did take a while to publish it (ugh school am I right?) I tweaked it a bit, hope you don’t mindd : ) Really wanted to publish this before my birthday (which is tomorrow) as a little treat to myself and to you guys. I hope you enjoy!
Special Treatment?
Pairing: Poly!Marauders x Reader
CW: None that I could think of?? except for possible typos and grammatical errors. (1.3k words)
You often found asking yourself one-too-many-times if the boys’ affection to you were just purely platonic or romantic.
Maybe you were just being dramatic— giving meaning to meaningless stuff they do for you.
It's probably you, yeah. You and your delusional arse, really. Why would they want you in the mix when the three of them are already dating?
Although— you just can't help but feel special when Remus makes you his famous “Moony toast” as he likes to call it, or when Sirius calls you 'his doll' and slings his arm over your shoulder which results in your stomach doing flips, and let’s not forget how James would flash his mega-watt smile, setting your breakfast down and making sure you know that he's the one who cooked it for you.
With the help of Remus, of course— your flat would turn into ashes if you let James cook alone in the kitchen.
Being roommates with three dudes is certainly uncommon but fun. Telling people about it… well, makes them shoot you questioning looks or are concerned that you’re being held hostage by three big burly men.
You really weren’t sure how it happened— the four of you just fitted together seamlessly, similar to cogs of a well-oiled machine.
It began during the last three months of your 7th year in Hogwarts, you decided to start looking for flats to rent, preferably in close to London. You wanted to live where muggles are, having such keen interest about them and their daily lives, deciding to pursue a muggle career also helped you in your decision.
You tried searching if there's any available flats to rent and how much it’ll cost. However, seeing that you're a broke student, you really couldn't afford any sky-high prices for rent.
It seemed like all hope was lost until you asked one of your friends, Lily, if she knows anyone looking for a flat mate.
You were sure she was an angel sent here on Earth, after a few days she told you that Remus, James, and Sirius have no problems taking you in, seeing that you guys are housemates during their years in Hogwarts.
The rest was history.
They made sure you wouldn’t feel left out. It was how they looked out for you, the way they included you in every plan, every joke, every moment of their lives.
Although, as the days turn into weeks, and weeks into months you start to notice the little things they do.
"Hey doll, have any movies tickled your fancy yet?" Sirius asks, sneaking his arm around your waist, leaning close to your face.
"Erm, no not really... You guys could pick, I'd be fine with anything." You smiled at him, before fleeing to the kitchen to calm your racing heart.
"You're just friends with them, Y/n. I'm sure they do this with Lily and the others..." you let out a mumble, absentmindedly grabbing a glass of water before bumping into someone.
"Whoa, are you okay, darling?" Remus' worried voice pulled you out of your thoughts as he cupped your face before placing the back of his hand on your forehead.
"I'm alright!" You squeaked; Remus' doesn't really look to convinced. "Are you sure, darling? You look rather flushed... I told you to bring your jacket yesterday when you went out. You probably caught a cold." He frowned, you tried to protest but your attempt was futile as he shimmied off his cardigan and made you wear it. "I'll make you some lemon water, alright darling?" James called out from the living room, "We're starting the movie without you guys!"
Remus yelled out, boiling some warm water. "Hold your bloody horses, prongs! I'm making some lemon water." You heard a shuffling of feet nearing you, making you look up.
"Love, don't tell me you're sick." He frowns, and like what Remus did earlier, he placed the back of his hand on your forehead. "I'm not sick." You protested, but it all fell on deaf ears.
Next time you told them you went out, you were practically dressed for winter even though it's only spring.
Those little things made you honestly take a step back and re-asses your situation with them because for merlin's sake, why do they act like your boyfriends when you're just friends with them, right? You couldn't really open it up to Lily because you'd probably sound stupid if this was just normal for them.
Your mind ran with hundreds of what if's and the way Remus' eyes linger on you for a second too long, with an emotion you can't quite decipher doesn't help soothe the thoughts in your mind. The warmth of Sirius' touch, James and oh merlin, when the three of them kissed you on the cheeks during a movie night? You really couldn't live in denial anymore.
You're no detective but the signs are there, clear as day. There's a high chance they're not just being friendly—they care, deeply. And maybe, just maybe, you do too.
Having read enough romance novels, you quickly recognized the pattern, but this isn't fiction. This is real life, and these are your roommates—three guys who have somehow, inexplicably, fallen for the same person. You.
Sitting in loveseat while nursing a cup of tea, you couldn’t help but notice the way the morning light caught in Sirius’s hair, giving him a halo that seemed so at odds with his mischievous smirk. “Morning, doll,” he greeted, his voice a smooth baritone that sent shivers throughout your system. Does this man haven't ever heard of morning voice?
“Morning,” you replied, trying to keep your voice even. “Slept well?”
“Like a log,” he said, eyes softening before squeezing himself beside you. “Did you? You were up late reading with Moony.”
You nodded, the feeling the warmth within your chest surfacing because of the memory. Remus usually reads his novel alongside you, it's sort of yours and his thing. Although you sometimes found yourself getting distracted and instead of focusing on the book, you were drawn to the gentle timbre of his voice and the way his hand occasionally brushed yours as he pointed something out on the page he was reading.
And then there was James, who was currently flipping pancakes with a concentration that was both endearing and amusing. He caught your eye and grinned, the same smile that had greeted you every morning since you’d moved in. “These are going to be the best pancakes you’ve ever tasted,” he declared. “Guaranteed to improve your day by at least twenty percent.”
You laughed, the sound mingling with the sizzling of the batter. “I’ll hold you to that.”
A bedroom creaked open, and Remus shuffled out, rubbing sleep from his eyes. “Is that breakfast I smell?” he mumbled, heading to the kitchen "Yeah, go help prongsie, moons. It's a miracle he hasn't started a fire yet." Sirius teased, it made Remus more awake and practically ran to supervise James.
After a few moments, the four of you were digging into the half-burnt pancakes that James was proud of, a mishmash of pajamas and bed hair (except for Sirius), and yet it felt right. It felt like family. As you ate, you found yourself observing them, the way they interacted with each other, and with you. There was a harmony; a rhythm that you had become a part of without even realizing it.
It was in the little things: the way Remus passed you the syrup without you having to ask, or the sound of Sirius’ laughter seemed to wrap around you like a warm blanket. And James? Well, he was the glue that held it all together, his energy infectious and his presence a constant source of comfort for all of you.
You realized; it didn’t matter what other people thought. They don't see what you saw, feel what you've felt. They don’t understand that this was more than just a shared living space; it was a shared life. And maybe, just maybe, it was okay to give meaning to the ‘meaningless stuff’ because, to you, it meant everything.
And as you looked around at the three men who had become your world, you knew that this was normal. Your normal. And it was perfect.
hello darling! I was wondering if I could request poly! marauders where they come home late or something and she’s asleep, but they discover her cuddling a stuffed animal for the first time and she gets all shy and embarassed but they think it’s adorable!!!
I have this stuffed animal I’ve had since I was little and as a 24 year I still cuddle him.
totally didn't write this based off of the little stuffed toy I still have on my bed.......
Scout's Honour
poly!marauders x fem!reader who still sleeps with a stuffed animal
CW: boys are maybe tipsy when they get home, reader feels shy and insecure for a second, Sirius makes that horrible Sirius/serious joke, James x Sirius get frisky at the end but nothing described
Up until this point, Remus felt as though he had done a pretty good job keeping the boys quiet in their trek to the bedroom.
All that effort was for naught, it seemed, as Remus grimaced whilst he watched Sirius basically belly-flop face first onto the mattress, causing you to be jostled - quite violently - awake.
“What the-?” You gasped; eyes darting around nervously before they landed on your three boyfriends.
But no sooner had your face relaxed did you look alarmed again before quickly readjusting the blankets around you.
“You okay, dovey?” Remus asked then. “Sorry for waking you.” He added, pointedly glaring at his long-haired boyfriend who looked quite pleased at his plans of having all of his partners awake at once come to fruition.
“S’okay.” You responded; vowels and consonants running together as your mouth tried to keep up with the speed at which your brain was functioning.
“Outside clothes, Jamie.” Remus quickly chided then as James tried to sneak under the covers to join you.
This seemed to perk you up for some reason, and unfortunately for you, not one of the boys missed the way your hand darted nervously under the blankets.
“My, my, what were you up to?” Sirius taunted salaciously, eyes immediately moving towards his ‘favourite’ bedside drawer.
“She was asleep, Pads.” James slurred as he nearly fell in his attempt to free himself from his jeans.
“Yes, until someone so rudely woke her.” Remus added.
Sirius did appear to go bashful then, turning to look at you apologetically. “Sorry, doll.”
“But if you’re not- fuck, if you’re not hiding something fun.” James interrupted himself as he tripped over nothing before he finally weaselled his way under the covers. “What are you hiding?”
“M’not hiding anything.” You argued petulantly, looking at Remus as you answered James’ question as if he would somehow protect you from further questioning.
And though Remus could protect you from further questioning, he had to admit he found himself just as curious.
“It’s a surprise for me, isn’t it?” Sirius queried haughtily then as he changed into his pyjamas.
“It’s not for you.” You groaned; sleep-addled brain not capturing that you sort of gave away that you were, indeed, hiding something.
“What d’you have there, dovey?” Remus asked finally, moving to stand above you on your side of the bed and tipping your head back so he could press a kiss to your lips.
You brought your hands up to hold Remus’ wrists as you reciprocated the kiss, but made a reluctant sound in the back of your throat when he wouldn’t let you turn and look away from him.
“Oh my goodness!” James shrilled then, causing both you and Remus to turn your attention to your slightly tipsy boyfriend who was now holding a tiny plush dog in his hands. “She’s so cute!”
“James!” You shrieked; tearing yourself from Remus’ hold as you made for James.
For as uncoordinated as James had been mere moments ago, the sight of you lunging at him seemed to reawaken some dormant muscle memory from his time on the school rugby team as he hastily tossed the toy to Sirius.
Sirius - not prepared in the slightest for a game of catch at such an hour of the morning - let it hit him in the side of the head before it fell unceremoniously to the ground. He quickly collected it though and moved behind Remus in hopes of protection from you as he inspected the worn and well-loved looking toy.
“Is this a stuffie?” Sirius asked then, turning the plush dog to examine it. “Babe, that’s so cute!”
“Give it here.” You demanded; eyes wild, now fully awake as you stared at Sirius imploringly.
“But-”
“Sirius, please.”
“Dovey.” Remus began cautiously, bending at the waist in an attempt to make eye contact with you. “Hey, dove.” He continued when you didn’t respond.
You reluctantly pulled your gaze away from Sirius in order to appease Remus.
“We’re not making fun of you.”
“Yes you are.” You whispered miserably, causing any teasing from James and Sirius to drop immediately.
“Nonono.” James chanted as he army crawled his way across the bed to you. “M’so sorry, angel. I was making fun, but I wasn’t trying to make fun of.”
“I wasn’t lying, doll; I really do think this is so cute.” Sirius added.
You didn’t seem to agree, however, when your bottom lip jutted out and your shoulders slumped.
“Baby.” James moaned sympathetically. “I’m sorry.”
You reluctantly leaned into James’ side as he all but draped himself over you.
“Dove, why have we never seen this before?” Remus asked as he took the pilfered toy from Sirius’ hands and inspected it himself.
“‘Cause it’s embarrassing.” You moaned.
“It’s cute.” Sirius argued.
“It’s childish.” You countered.
“It’s human, sweetheart.” Remus declared before handing the plush dog back to you. “I still have my teddy from when I was a kid.”
“Yeah, packed up in a box somewhere.” You deadpanned.
“That’s only because he roomed in a dorm with three boys back in school who would’ve razzed him mercilessly for it.” Sirius offered.
“Yeah, and now I’m sleeping with them.” You responded as you looked down at the plush in your hands.
“Who have grown and matured, surely; you wouldn’t be sleeping with them otherwise.” Sirius said as he sat at the end of your bed and nudged your knee with his.
“What’s her name?” Remus asked then as he nodded to the aged stuffed animal.
You glared half-heartedly at him in response.
“I’m serious, dove-” Remus started before catching himself none-too-quickly.
“No, I’m Sirius.” Sirius cut in; smiling proudly as his three partners glared at him.
Remus sucked in an exasperated yet loving breath as he turned his attention back to you. “This little thing was - is - obviously important to you; so what’s her name?”
You sighed in defeat as you turned it over in your hand. “It’s a him.” You corrected petulantly.
“Terrible sorry, good sir.” James offered graveley; nodding his head so deep that he nearly lost his glasses.
You breathed out a chuckle as you looked up shyly. “His name’s Scout.” You offered in a whisper; your answer being rewarded by cooing from your boyfriend’s.
“That’s so cute.” James repeated.
“I can’t believe you’ve loved another man before me.” Sirius teased with an unimpressed shake of his head. “And he’s been in my home this whole time?”
You turned bashful again and looked at Sirius timidly. “Erm, I’ve sort of been hiding him between the mattress and boxspring.”
Remus threw his head back in laughter as he finally had an answer as to why your side of the bed was so lumpy.
“Another man!? In my bed!?” Sirius teased as he clutched at non-existing pearls. “And you didn’t even introduce us!?”
“For shame, angel.” James added with a disappointed shake of his head. “I know the bed is small, but there was certainly room for one more.” He continued as he booped ‘Scout’s’ nose with the tip of his finger.
“That’s right.” Remus agreed readily as he stood to change into his own pyjamas. “No more hiding that cutie from us sweet girl.”
“Yeah, I already like him more than Sirius.” James joked, earning him a scolding ‘hey!’ from both you and Remus and an indignant scoff from Sirius before Sirius bodily tackled him on the bed.
“That’s not what you were saying last night there, handsome!” Sirius laughed as he jabbed his fingers into James’ ribs where he was most ticklish. “Take it back!”
“No!”
“Tell me you love me!”
“I love Scout more!”
“You little-” Sirius started, but he never got to finish when he pulled his boyfriend into a searing kiss.
What had started out as laughter and playful wrestling was quickly becoming heated and then bordering pornographic when you turned to look at Remus who was simply watching in exasperation.
“Should you, me, and Scout have a cwtch on the couch, dove?”
You chuckled as you gathered a throw blanket and Scout from the bed, and trotted out the door with Remus as you left your boyfriends to tire each other out.
Remus really couldn't imagine the four of you making room for another again, but he was more than happy to share you with Scout and he knew the same could be said for Sirius and James.
This is AMAZINGLY written
Very good as always, your writing is something that can always make me cry.
This is absolutely a beautiful masterpiece.
❝like the grass wants to grow, i want to run anywhere that you go.❞
summary. 'a tiny butterfly flapping its wings today may lead to a devastating hurricane weeks from now.' or alternatively, it takes six lifetimes for you to find each other.
pairings. poly!marauders+lily x reader.
word count. 8.9k (i tried to keep it short. i really did T-T)
tags. hurt/comfort, fluff, angst, happy ending. reincarnated/regressor!reader. no specific gender described. not proofread, we die like lucerys velaryon.
cws. brief depictions of death and war, themes of mental health and trauma.
note: lmaoao, as per the poll, here is the time-traveler!reader fic! i didn't cry during the angsty parts so it's probably not that bad.
YOU WAKE UP to a familiar weathered stone ceiling, owls softly hooting beyond the curtained windows, sunken in the mattress of a canopy bed with low snoring on either side of you. There’s a wilting candle on your nightstand, alongside an unfastened leather journal—a whiff of spilt ink under your nose. In your limp embrace, is a plush capybara with a turtle attached to its head. The quilt blanket is entangled between your thighs, the early morning breeze flurrying past the exposed stretch of your belly where your oversized granny-square jumper has ridden up.
It’s only then, when you try curling your fingers and wiggling your toes, that you realize that your body feels as though it had been hit by a shrinking charm.
You sit upright instantly, heart skipping a beat from fright.
No.
You can’t have.
You reach for your brass handheld mirror, tucked away in the bedside drawers.
There is no way you are this unlucky.
Yet staring back at you, is your eleven-year-old self.
Naturally, you end up screaming in frustration—startling the robins idle on the windowsills and all but waking the entirety of the Gryffindor castle. Prefects burst inside the dormitory, wand at the ready and crust in their eyes, in search of a threat only to find you on the verge of hyperventilating.
Bloody hell.
Not again!
Merlin, Morgana and Arthur—you are not going through puberty a sixth time.
“Oh, fuck me,” you mumble defeatedly as you fall back onto the patchwork pillows. Your roommates are gawping at you in horror, the sound of heavy footfalls echoing in the halls outside.
Months ago, you had heard about the gruesome passing of Dorcas Meadowes—you weren’t necessarily close friends with the girl, despite being sorted in the same House, but you would grieve where grief is due.
YOUR FIRST LIFE came to an abrupt end at the age of nineteen, in a quaint coffeehouse where the owner knew your name and the baristas wore a sunlit grin everyday. That day, no one had expected for Death Eaters to wreak havoc in Diagon Alley—it could have been anticipated, if only the Ministry was competent during the onset of the war. But with the extensive list of Muggleborn and half-blood casualties after that incident, Ministry officials had no choice but to restrict certain areas and propose the ‘lesser-breeds’ go into hiding for their safety. This alluded to many families; most condemned to be blood-traitors.
(There had been fleeting whispers of her dying at the wand of Voldemort himself.)
Then, you’d woken up in the four walls of your dormitory. The sensation of being ever-so cruelly struck by the killing curse burning in your chest—a scorching fire, yet bitterly cold all the same. You had sobbed wretchedly, curled up in a shuddering ball of tears until your roommates had called for the prefects. It got worse when they tried to console you—you felt everything still. The panicked cries and screams of the wounded ceaselessly echoing in your head. You remembered the shards of glass sinking into your skin as you dove for cover, Unforgivables apathetically hurled in every direction.
It was not until Madam Pomfrey administered a Calming Draught and an elixir for dreamless sleep that you finally went out like a light extinguished.
Your second life was relatively longer—you had spent it under the supervision of mind healers at St. Mungo’s, after all. For the next thirty years, you’d been confined to a ward on the fourth floor. (Later, you would share this space with a couple who went by the names of Alice and Frank Longbottom.) Regardless of the bleak walls, it was not so bad. The quilts were warm and the assigned matron, Madam Strout, was kind and fussed over you regularly. While the healers had done everything they could, you continued to struggle with discerning what appeared to be your ‘first life.’ (Which one was your true reality? The first? Or the second?) Eventually, all the poking and prodding wore you down. Your fingertips had bruised and brittled. You could not look over your shoulder in fear of finding a Death Eater staring back at you. Night terrors plagued your dreams.
(Your parents who had always embraced you with loving arms—they could not look you in the eyes now.)
Memories bled into newer memories as the days went by. You haunted the corridors with a plagued stare, quickly becoming a woeful canard amongst the residents of the hospital. ‘The hysteric fortune teller,’ they called you. You who spoke of wars and rebellion at the age of twelve—but whose words nobody cared for when Voldemort began rising to power. You who’d gone mad and overwrought. In the end, you believed everyone else.
(See? It must have been all in your head—a wayward spell that unfortunately damaged your memories.)
You’re unsure of how you died, but perhaps, you were never even alive in the first place. There was only so much Draught of Peace you could take before you inevitably became a soulless, sleep-walking husk of a person.
You woke up in the Gryffindor tower once more—this time, you’re careful enough to smother your cries.
If you flinched every time Marlene McKinnon coarsely bellowed Dorcas’s name in the middle of the school hallways, or if you averted your gaze at the sight of Alice Fortescue and Frank Longbottom’s intertwined hands—it was nobody’s business but your own. In this life, you kept your head down, breezing through your homework and exams—although you had seen no purpose in it, at this point. Each morning that you woke up, you wondered if this was a favor from the Gods, or a relentless hell so meticulously-crafted for you.
(But what sins had you committed for them to spit on you as they had done? Surely, you would be granted peace after two deaths.)
You could not tell your family, nor could you ask anyone else in Hogwarts if they remembered fragments of their past lives—for the last time you had done that, you were met with vindictive laughter and cruel gazes.
(At that moment, you had understood Xenophilius Lovegood a little bit more. You never knew how many sought to trample on the wallflowers of the castle.)
And so, you’d kept your head down until the end of your time in the castle. You stayed away from Diagon Alley and surrounding areas, and you willed yourself to perfect the art of apparating—a skill you wished that you had learned earlier.
On the first of November 1981, witches and wizards had come to celebrate the fall of Lord Voldemort—which ultimately meant the death of James and Lily Potter. (You could not come to their funeral the first time around, seeing as you were chained to your hospital mattress that day, inebriated on the third dreamless sleep potion administered to you.)
Under the eyes of St. Jerome, you laid bouquets of white roses and dahlias on their tombstones.
“Wherever your souls are now, I hope you find each other and unearth peace,” you whispered to the two names engraved on the slate, hands clasped together as you rested on the grass. The winds had been cold and biting, a testament to the looming winter that would sweep away the tears on their graves. Like Dorcas Meadows, you did not interact much with James and Lily—but more than anyone, you knew how death was no easy enemy to conquer.
(You hoped their orphaned son would live a life that would not take him too early.)
A few months later, you met your demise to a werewolf named Fenrir Greyback.
As you bled out on the grassfields, you wished for Death to come and take you faster.
When you awakened, it was in the same bed and the same dusty ceiling.
There was nothing you could do but go back to sleep this time around.
After dying pathetically for a third time, a stubborn part of you wanted to fight back—so you did.
Unlike your previous lives, you joined the Dueling Club, supervised by Professor Flitwick himself. Your wand work was clumsy and you stumbled on your incantations. You could not lift your wand without remembering a coffee shop laid to ruin and wreckage or the hardened gaze of Greyback as he sank his teeth into your neck. The times were merciless, your dance with Death even more—but you would not die helplessly again.
As you lay in your bed, muscles aching from dueling practice, you had realized one thing.
You did not want to stain your hands with the blood of another—having grown tired of the Reaper and his antics. If the Gods would not let you rest, then you would not let them take anyone else.
After all, you had the stubbornness of a Gryffindor lion.
For the next six years or so, you devoured your textbooks on charms and healing spells, refining your spellwork until your tongue grew numb and your wrists became sore. When the time came, you followed James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, Lily Evans, and many more, in joining the Order of the Phoenix. (Perhaps you should have realized earlier that you all were just wide-eyed children on both sides, forced to partake in a war that should have never been yours to fight.)
The First Wizarding War transfigured the years into a blur of mourning, surviving, and fighting in alleys now-bloodied. Even the sun hid behind the clouds, for brothers began turning on one another. You could only find solace in the fact you had kept Dorcas away from Voldemort’s clutches, volunteering to go in her stead during incursions, and Marlene McKinnon alive for another day to see her family.
But for how long could you cheat fate?
Hours before your death, you found yourself in a forest clearing. The campsite was filled with witches and wizards afflicted with severe hexes and curses—a few of Dumbledore’s best fighters screaming in agony from the Cruciatus.
There you found Remus Lupin, bruised and worse for wear, attempting to wrap a bandage around his shoulders in an empty tent.
“You look like you’ve seen better days,” you said in a soft greeting, stepping inside the tent with a forced smile, your collection of potions and jars of herbal pastes jostling in your leather satchel.
Remus chuckled tiredly. “Haven’t we all?”
You gently pried the bandage from his trembling hands and maneuvering yourself at his back. You stifled the urge to cry at the sight of his scars—so violently red against his pallid skin. Compared to your previous lives, you had developed a friendship with Remus and his group of bold marauders—a camaraderie as true as it could be in dire times. (And if providence had been kinder, you could have dared to want more than just friendship.) You poured drops of Dittany onto his shallower wounds, murmuring empty words of comfort as he flinched and hissed.
“It’s Peter,” he rasped, abruptly holding onto your wrist as you turned to leave. “He’s been missing for hours. Please. I don’t know what I’d. . . what I’d do if. . . if. . .”
You squeezed his hand. “I’ll find him, Remus. Don’t worry.”
True to your word, you had found Peter at sundown deep within the forest. There was an unsettling quietude that hung in the air as you trudged to his side. He was kneeling on the muddy ground, head hanging low. It’s only then that you noticed the body laying still in his arms. Violent chills slithered down your spine as you recognized the woman in his embrace.
“Mary!” you cried out, hurrying to them as fast as you could.
“What happened?” you asked frantically, hands in a desperate search for a pulse. When you were met with no answer, you pressed again more heatedly. “Peter! Look at me!” You gripped his chin, heart hammering in your chest. “You have to tell me what happened! I can’t. . . I can’t help her if I don’t know what hit her.” Droplets of tears fell from your eyes down to Mary’s pale cheeks. “I can’t. . . I need—please. . .”
Bloodshot eyes stared back at you. “I. . . I didn’t want to do it.”
“What?”
“I’m sorry,” he croaked, burying his head into the crook of Mary’s neck. “I was so, so scared.”
“Peter, what are you talking about?” You grimaced impatiently when Peter lifted his gaze—but he was not looking at you, rather behind you.
The answer to your question was a killing curse to the back.
An unseen rustle in the bushes that you should have paid attention to, a cloaked figure darker than any shadow; a Death Eater that’d come to ensnare you in a perfectly-laid trap.
(Damn it!)
(Damn it all to Hell!)
You awoke to the sound of your screaming and your limbs thrashing in the bed you’ve grown to despise. There was nary a remorse in your body as your roommates wailed at the sight of your nails drawing blood from your arms. Later that morning, the common room would be filled with talks of your faraway gaze and your scratched-up flesh.
You could not take it anymore.
In your fifth life, you had sought peace—or rather, the most beautiful mockery of it.
You decided to give up your magic to chase a semblance of normalcy. No more wands, no more moving portraits, no more jinxes and pranks, no more owls and wizard robes. Most of all, no more war. (‘But it did not work like that’, Death laughed.) In this life, you wanted what was denied of you in the previous ones.
A family.
A happy ending.
Bitterly enough, the Gods saw fit to give you only one of the two.
You married a Muggle, to your parents’ dismay. He was nice and compassionate—a distant contrast to the ongoing turmoil of the wizarding world. But you could not bring yourself to feel guilt. You had been stripped of everything, which included the privilege to die and lay your soul to rest in perpetuity.
(Who were you, if not a dead man walking?)
Over the years, you would have three children with your husband—three beautiful children born from love, in a world that would not actively seek to take them from you. You raised them all to adulthood, hoping they would not fault you for finding relief at the lack of magic in their veins. Their names were Kinsley, Piper, and Avery—and you had adored every inch of them, from their striking eyes to the tips of their stubby fingers.
On your deathbed, you were surrounded by your grandchildren and your great-grandchildren. An image you held close to your heart as your vision began to deteriorate.
Just this once, you prayed to all that would hear.
Let me die surrounded by my family.
At the age of ninety-one, you drew your final breath.
And when you opened your eyes, you were back in Hogwarts for the sixth time.
TO SIRIUS BLACK, you are a curious little wallflower, albeit a withering one—you who blend among the crowd, with a sad gaze in your eyes and the fretful twisting of your fingers. He doesn’t know why he’s particularly drawn to you—but perhaps he understands, more than anyone, the hesitance of taking up space in fear of punishment for one wrong move. But you look so lost, meandering along the corridors like the ghosts of the castle—but even the spirits seem more alive and colorful than you.
“What is it that they have taken from you?” Sirius wants to ask.
(What judgment has fate placed upon you so—for you to cry each morning?)
There is a raging urge in his veins to reach over and wipe your tears away, but what can he do as a stranger, if not watch powerlessly as you fade into the background?
His fingers feel like they might fall off if they do not entwine with yours. He wants to offer up his shoulders to carry the burdens that weigh down on a creature as lovely as you.
There are times when he and the other Gryffindors catch you crying at the long tables of the Great Hall.
“O-Oh, was I?” Your reply is quiet. Resigned. Sirius has never felt his heart break more than in that moment. You move to weakly swipe at your tears. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to. . .”
“It’s alright, really,” Lily says, her voice strained, the words lodged in her throat. Under the table, she seeks James’s hand for comfort. (How can someone appear to be so lonely and defeated?) “We all have those days.”
“Yes.” You blink away the fresh tears pricking at your eyes, mindlessly pulling at the threads of your woven bandages, a weary chuckle falling from the cracked skin of your lips. “Except, it seems the days never end for me.”
Lily stays silent.
Sirius shares a look with Remus from across the table, an unspoken question hanging between the animagus and the werewolf.
How do their voices call out to the one who so faithfully believes that the world has abandoned them?
But Sirius Black is determined and unyielding—what good of a prankster would he be if he could not bring a smile upon your beautiful face?
He gets his chance during Transfiguration class, when McGonagall instructs the class to pair-up for an activity in turning miniature statues into birds. Predictably, you don’t move a muscle, staring ever-so intently at the sights beyond the classroom windows that you don’t notice the professor observing you worriedly—her lips tightly pressed and her eyes wrinkled with concern. Sirius slams his buttocks onto the wooden chair next to you; the sound of chair legs screeching bounces off the cobblestone walls.
“Hullo, partner.” Sirius grins as he offers you an enthusiastic wave, his dark curls floundering with his energy. He feels the gazes of his best mates boring into his back, but decides to ignore it for now—Remus can live without him for one class. In his mind—a perfectly-reasonable logic for an eleven-year-old, mind you—he figures that you would find class more entertaining if you had the right company. And, Sirius is wonderful company.
You stare at him with furrowed brows and Sirius wishes nothing more than to bring fire to your eyes. “Partner?” you repeat, a tinge of confusion in your voice—a deafening cadence to his ears, as for once, it is not desolation that laces your words.
“Partner,” Sirius affirms with a nod of his head, barely paying heed to McGonagall’s directions at the front of the room—but noting the mention of a prize for the pair who would successfully cast the spell for longer than ten minutes. He takes your silence for uncertainty, and replies with a light-hearted scoff—finding the pout on your lips adorable. “I’ll have you know I’m a bloody master at Transfiguration. Not even James could match me in this class—okay, maybe he could, but that’s not important, is it? Point is, with me at your side, Minnie will have no choice but to give us a hundred points!”
From the frown on your lips, Sirius gathers that you’re unimpressed by him—a first, but not a total setback.
He seizes the small box of porcelain figurines before you can blink, a wry smile on his face as he wrangles a boastful laugh from his throat. “Ready to have your mind blown? I’ve been practicing this spell since last night. There’s no way I’m getting this wrong.”
“Oh, I’m Sirius Black, by the way—at your service.” He holds out his hand for you to shake, wondering what your palm would feel like in his. Cold? Warm to touch? Or, perhaps, a perfect fit—just as Lily’s hand feels laced with his?
He doesn’t find the answer to his question. Instead, you draw your wand from your robe pocket, and point the tip of the wood at the earthenware at Sirius’s grasp.
“Avifors,” you recite delicately—such a flawless incantation that Sirius hears Merlin himself weeping in the depths of his grave.
The figurine grows feathers and a beak—Sirius and the rest of the students can only watch as the weebill flutters its wings and soars through the roof.
He’s stupefied. Breathless, one might say. But not because of your little trick—rather, the growing smile on your lips as you watch the bird fly across the room. Your eyes flicker with mischief, and like a man on the edge of a cliff—what is Sirius Black to do, but fall?
THE END OF YOUR first-year at Hogwarts draws near, and so does the springtime—a coveted season for lily flowers to bloom. The April winds find you out by the lake edge, swinging your legs idly on a marble stone bench where the cypress vines grow along the cracks. Songbirds fly overhead as the daylight glistens on the surface of the Black Lake, a beech tree in the near distance, butterflies dancing past the gnarled trunk. Pollen floats like dust in a cupboard under a staircase. Ducklings waddle after their mother as riverine rabbits scurry on into the tall, purple nettles. On days like this, you find it easier to settle into your new life—but, perhaps, you have your friends to thank for that.
Yet, as you find yourself wanting to reach out to their outstretched hands, flashes of children with your hair, your eyes, cheekbones whittled to resemble your own, haunt you. Their pure and gentle temperaments, painfully akin to their father’s. You mourn them every day. Their names are forever inscribed in the locket of your soul. (You did not find it fair—you who live again, and they who disappear forever. An existence that would cease to be—all because you fear what awaits you in this life. Why must it be you who should walk this land with a body scarred by wounds no one else can see? Why must it be you who mourns the loss of your family, your friends, and all your loved ones—everyone murdered by the Gods who spit on the five graves with your name written on it? Why? Why?)
Do you dare to live a life without them? Is it fair to deprive them of a chance of being a family while you waste away on the Isles? You may have lived multiple lifetimes, but not once have you been given the answers you seek.
You will not find happiness without them; it is as you deserve.
(For why else would Death torment you so if you are seen as innocent in their eyes?)
“How did I know I’d find you here?” A sing-song voice emerges from the trees, and you’ve no need to turn your head—the sound of Lily’s bright cadence is one you’re familiar with. But, somehow, you’ve grown fond of her voice, more acquainted with her smile and laugh than you’ve ever been in the last five lives. (You have to wonder if this friendship is one you’re permitted to enjoy.) Her grin is blinding, more so than the afternoon sun behind her. Lily’s wavy hair falls over her shoulder as she plops down on the empty space beside you. “We didn’t see you at lunch today,” she says, looking ahead, the warmth of her hand inching closer to your own. “I figured you didn’t want a bunch of whiffy boys around.”
Then, she looks around, searching for any prying ears, a stream of giggles falling from her lips. “Although, I must warn you—their pockets are loaded with food stolen from the hall, saying they’d give it to you when you returned to the tower. But I think Minnie caught onto them.” She chortles, a fond gaze in her eyes.
You hum in thought, a smile unknowingly pulling at your lips. “Thank you, Lily. It’s sweet of you to come and find me.”
She harrumphs light-heartedly, snootily lifting up her nose. “Don’t get too used to it. We’re only just best friends, after all.”
A silence encompasses the two of you, sitting under the shade, pink fingers shyly intertwined. Lily allows the minutes to flow by like a breeze on the waters, until she stares at you with thick emotions flickering in her emerald eyes. She nibbles on her bottom lip, long lashes kissing her eyelids. “Are. . . Are you alright? Is it one of those days again?”
You grin at her question, impishly nudging her legs with yours. It’s a gesture you deeply appreciate—befriending you and growing closer to you in ways you imagine are never in your cards. But Lily is only eleven, and you will not act upon your selfishness. (But, maybe—just maybe—you are allowed to relish in their company until you are called once again to your deathbed. In the next life, they might not know your name as they do now, and the revelation frightens you immensely.)
“I’m okay,” you say, a gnawing lie that sounds unconvincing to even your own ears. You stare at the flock of swans diving in the lake. “I was just missing a few friends back home.” You remember the toddlers that you used to call your own—their spittled possessiveness toward anyone who dared to snatch your attention away from them. “I don’t know if they would be happy with me going off on my own adventure,” you say, sparing Lily a knowing look. “They are—erm—Muggles.”
“Oh.” Lily nods, mulling over your words. “Tuney. . . my sister. She sort of resents me ever since I left for Hogwarts. We live a world apart, and it barely helps that she ignores me during the holidays.” She sighs, averting her gaze elsewhere, a grimace pulling at her mouth. “Sometimes I wonder if all of this was never meant for me. That I was just a fluke. Why do I have magic and not her? Any day now, I expect for McGonagall to come and ask me to pack my bags and head straight home.”
“But,” says Lily, her eyes resolute and her fire unwavering, “until that day comes, I will enjoy every bit of this world as I can. Tuney will just have to deal with that.” She offers you a mellow smile—a likeness to a kind husband that you had once in a past lifetime. “Besides, I think those who truly love us will understand the paths we must take. Even if it means parting ways for a long time. Your friends will not blame you; they’ll want you to live truly and freely.”
Her words sink deep into your bones, and you can’t help but let out a hearty laugh. You simper at the confused tilt of her head. “Wise words, Lily Marie Evans. Are you sure you’re only twelve?”
Lily beams. “Mum likes to tune into the Sunday motivational-talk channels.”
(“The ones we love never really leave us, do they?” Sirius Black will tell you one day, when you’ve bared to him the truth of your lives, and he looks at you no differently than he has before—with all the adoration and fondness of his heart.)
Later, before you and Lily make your way back to the castle, you pick three flowers among the chicory weeds. She stays behind as you kneel by the riverside. For the children you have loved, and will continue to love for eternity. Droplets of tears fall onto the water, joining the floating blue petals. “I’m sorry that I cannot find you as you are,” you whisper, a heavy weight lifting from your shoulders. “But I hope that we meet again in this life, whichever names you may take.”
(After all, what love is stronger than one that perseveres across endless lifetimes?)
You carry them in your heart—letting cherished memories remain as such. Otherwise, you’ll be chasing what can never be again. It would be an injustice to their names to try and replicate a shallow imitation of them. They deserve more than that—to be treated like a pawn in Death’s game. They were alive and you will honor them befittingly.
You bid them goodbye and allow the tethers of their soul to untangle from your grasp.
It is the most difficult farewell—and yet, the easiest act of mercy you have ever carried out.
‘THE FLAP OF a butterfly’s wings can evoke a hurricane in the next world over.’
This is a phrase you’ve come to be familiar with over the span of your numerous lives. It has never been truer than the moment you step outside the infirmary to find a group of mismatched Gryffindors waiting for you in the halls. Their heads snap in attention at the sound of your footfalls. In an instant, you’re crowded with their questions and worries—but you find it endearing, the way your friends fuss over you. It’s certainly a welcome change from a past spent by your lonesome in the castle. (You only wonder what makes this life so different from the rest? Why is everything changing without you noticing? What will be taken from you for this deviation in time?)
“How did it go?” James asks, now seventeen and captain of the Quidditch team, wavy tendrils of brown hair swooping over his round glasses. The broad of his chest fills out his red and yellow jumper, crocheted by Lily over the yule break—the five of you, including Peter, Marlene, Mary, and Dorcas, have matching sweaters as well.
Except, you like to tease them with a jest that Lily made yours with the most love—as no one else had the pattern of a capybara with an apple on its head.
“Well enough,” you answer, patting his shoulder with a tired smile that reaches your eyes—for how could one not cheer up in the face of James Fleamont Potter? That would be saying the skies do not brighten in the company of the sun.
By incontestable decree of Poppy Pomfrey, the headstrong matron of the castle, you are required to meet with a mediwitch from St. Mungo’s twice a week, since the start of your fifth-year. Healer Robbins floos to Hogwarts on Wednesdays and Saturdays to check up on your health, physically and mentally. Of course, you don’t divulge anything about your time-traveling dilemmas, lest you end up confined to a hospital ward again for the rest of your years. But you do end up addressing—albeit, begrudgingly—the dried tear stains on your pillowcase every morning, your wayward habit of purposefully missing meals, or your tendency to withdraw yourself from your peers on certain days—which coincidentally happen to be the anniversary dates of your deaths. (If no one would grieve for you, then you’d do it alone.)
Who’d have thought that healing would be much more tortuous than hurting in the quietude of your room?
But one thing is for certain—this is a suffering you will endure with greed and hunger.
For today’s session, Healer Robbins suggests you proactively live in the present more—which is easier said than done.
“Although, she did tell me to stop slouching all the time,” you inform James, scrunching your nose in feigned offense, to which he replies with a hearty chuckle, pulling you into his embrace for a side hug. You burrow your nose in his scent of oakmoss and orris root, a lingering touch of broom polish as well—you feel the warmth of his hand splayed out on your back, and hide your grin into his chest.
“Well, someone had to tell you,” says Regulus Black with a scoff, arms crossed over his chest, yet no genuine heat in his trenchant eyes. He looks pleased that you return unharmed from your meeting with Healer Robbins. Funnily enough, you’ve no doubt that the famed Black temper would emerge should you utter so much as a single word against the mediwitch. (You like her, though. Some days, Robbins lovingly spiels about her clumsy-footed wife—and in return, you talk about your sad feelings. Eurgh. Talk about a fair exchange.)
Among the many divergences in this life, one of them is the unforeseen friendship you have forged with Regulus Arcturus Black. But that story begins with Xenophilius Lovegood, when you stumble upon him in the Forbidden Forest chasing after a family of bowtruckles with a fervid expression and a journal in one hand. You protect him from foul-mouthed Ravenclaws, and he allows you to tag along in his woodland escapades—including a lifelong access to the kitchens beyond curfew. His lack of regard for personal safety is both endearing and maddening, you realize early on. One stormy night, you chase Xenophilius into the forest—he is barefoot, following the Mooncalf hoofprints, as you spit out strings of expletives and mouthfuls of rain. That is where you find Regulus, groaning in pain and carrying a burden that is much too heavy for a fifteen-year-old.
Then, a year later, they decide to give you a heart-attack when you discover that Pandora and Xenophilius have taken Regulus under their wing—figuratively and literally. And, most of all, romantically.
You’re more speechless than Sirius had been when you catch him one fateful evening.
(“Don’t do it, Sirius Black,” you greet, startling the ebony-haired boy as you step out from the shadows. The common room is silent, save for the crackling embers in the fireplace. You stare at the sixteen-year-old with a vehement resolve, your hands curled into fists. If there is one fixed event you had to live through over and over again, it is the news of Severus Snape being nearly mauled to death by a creature so feared and gruesome. You will not let it happen in this life. His eyes flicker with shame amongst a sea of gray, and he knows that you know about his abhorrent idea of a ‘prank.’
You sigh, taking another step forward, hand coming to rest on his tense shoulder. “Let it go, Sirius. It’s not worth it. Bringing someone to harm is never worth it. If he dies, his blood will be on your hands—and you don’t want that, trust me. Be kind to him, Sirius—and even kinder to your brother. The two of you are all each other has.”
“Not true,” Sirius whispers back, almost afraid, his fingers tracing the curve of your cheeks. “I have you, Prongs, Lily, and Rem.”
“And Remus is exactly who we should be with right now,” you reply with a harsh glare. “Not in the common rooms trying to one-up Snape because of some childish rivalry.” With a long sigh and a shake of your head, you push back the dark curls from his face. “The times are cruel, Sirius. We must hold onto what we can.”
His forehead will fall onto your shoulder, and your shirt will be soaked with his tears, but you realize that you will hold him, and all those who’ve captured your heart, until Death himself pries you away from their embrace.)
But, it all pales in comparison to the horror in Sirius’s eyes when you point at Regulus and Peter, as you utter with absolute conviction, “They are my dearest friends.”
While Peter may have been a traitor in another life, a murderer with blood and guilt staining his hands—he is only a skittish boy in this one. A timid student who hides behind the shadows of his friends. You will not let him go down that path again. The Peter Pettigrew you currently know is a mousy little thing, pun intended, who sneaks in a pouch of sugared jelly worms in the library for you and him to enjoy whilst copying off each other’s Arithmancy homework—you two automatically get perfect marks, seeing as you’ve went through school multiple lifetimes already. Truthfully, when you see him tongue-tied before Mary Macdonald, you can’t envision anything else than a lifeless body and a man apologizing for his sins. But it is hardly fair to condemn Peter for the sins of a life he has not lived—and will never live through, if you have anything to say about.
A lion protects their pride, and that is what you shall do. Even if it tears you apart in the process. (Healer Robbins won’t be so pleased about that, though.)
But, perhaps, the most unexpected surprise you’ve received this year is—shockingly—not the news of Dorcas and Marlene dating, and neither is Alice and Frank’s relationship as you have already known that since your first life. It is James, Remus, Lily, and Sirius announcing to the world, with a poorly-written poem for a gnome to recite on Valentine’s Day—courtesy of James Potter himself—that the four of them are in love. In all five lives, that has never happened. Not even Lucius Malfoy can call into question the genuineness of their devotion to one another—and he will not dare to do so in your presence, otherwise he’d find himself at the mercy of you and Narcissa Black.
The four of them are happy as one, and you would die to ensure they stay together until the end of their time. Dark lords be damned.
An even bigger shock comes when their affection for each other unspokenly extends to you. Not in a manner that equals their rambunctious gestures—because the Marauders don’t do anything half-arsed. (And if they fall in love, they fall without fear.) But in a way that is quiet yet intense, ever-so mindful of your walls—with an intention to break them down slowly and only with your utmost permission. They leave you confused with each day that passes. (You fear that they think you pitiful for having not found a significant other.)
(For months now, your heart is set aflutter just by the sound of their voices—if they look at you as a token charity case, it would tear you apart.)
Forehead kisses, hand-holding in the corridors, late nights in the kitchen—tipsy on gillywater and the scathe of each other’s touch. Picnics by the lake, bodies intertwined where no one knows where they begin or end. Ventures in the library where not a soul is paying attention to the passages of their textbooks—hushed giggles turning into unrestrained laughter until Madam Pince rounds the corner and has you all thrown out. (How long has it been since you felt so free?) It’s the little things, like your fingers brushing against theirs as you walk side-by-side, or the soft glint in their eyes as they stare at you from across the room—as though you are a jewel to behold.
It is one thing to know that you are living a life after life—but it is another thing entirely to feel alive when they are nearby.
You are alive when Remus relaxes on the carpeted floor of the Gryffindor tower, and as you lay on the velvet couch, he draws protection runes on your palm with his finger. When he thinks you’re asleep, he presses a kiss to the back of your hand. When the nights are unbearably long and you find a safe haven in his embrace, and he in yours.
You are alive when James cages you in a bear hug after an intense Quidditch match against Slytherin, limp tendrils of hair clinging to his sweat-soaked skin, pressing a series of fervent kisses to the side of your head until his voice is louder than the cries of victory coming from the cheering stands.
(“Lay back down, James Fleamont Potter,” you command tersely as you push him onto the infirmary bed. You narrow your eyes at the bandages wrapped around his arms and neck, as though it’d personally wronged you. “Don’t even think about getting up,” you quickly add when you notice his droopy eyes staring at the doors—where Sirius, Remus, and Peter have gone off for a night of mischief. With an exaggerated sigh, James will roll his eyes before pulling you into the bed with him.)
You are alive when Lily scours the Great Hall in the mornings, hair fussed from sleep and her face bare, and when her eyes finally land on you—none misses the way she lights up blindingly, as if she were a poppy flower emerging from the forest floors and all her petals are curling towards the sun. She bounds over to you with a smile that draws everyone in the room to her. And your heart will have no choice but to swell three times its size when Lily falls asleep mid-meal, snoring with her neck bent and a spoon dangling from her mouth.
You are alive when Sirius dashes across the room to claim you as his Potions partner. He’ll spend the rest of the class with a triumphant grin on his face—sitting on a rickety chair as he lazily admires the view of your backside. And may the Gods help the poor soul who dares to question your work.
(“See that lovely creature over there?” Sirius will say with a dangerous lilt to his voice, pointing to you who’s quite busy squabbling with Severus and Barty Jr. over frog legs. “They will be the greatest apothecary to ever walk the wizarding world—so watch your tongue, mate.”)
They are your limbs, the blood in your veins—the ache in your heart. The fires of your soul. And when they are near, you are finally whole. (Healer Robbins certainly won’t like that, either—but this is a thought you shall selfishly keep for yourself.)
That is why you had come to a decision at the beginning of the year.
“I need to tell you all something,” you say, breaking out of your stupor and finally meeting everyone’s eyes. You meet Sirius’s gaze from where he leans against the wall, his attention on you—and only you. You reckon he notices the way you’re fidgeting nervously with your fingers, gnawing on your lip as you suck in a deep breath. It’s similar to the way he acted when he first told the group about his intentions to run away from his mother. Healer Robbins told you earlier to not dwell on the past—it’s only a thing that time-travelers do, she had said. You suppose there’s no better way to exercise honesty than to tell your loved ones about the secret you have been keeping for the last five lifetimes. You just hope they won’t look at you differently when all is said and done.
Marlene’s gaze worriedly flickers from you and to the infirmary doors. “Has the mediwitch said something?”
You shake your head. “There’s something you should know about me.”
Like a badly-written joke, a pack of lions, a snake, and a badger follows you into an empty classroom. They watch with furrowed brows as you cast a silencing charm over the room. You feel the weight of their curiosity as you take a seat in the center, drumming your nails on your lap as everyone moves to do the same. Remus wordlessly takes the seat next to you, as though being by your side is a natural phenomenon—like the shores never straying from the sand. He gives your hand a gentle squeeze and you return his kindness with a weary smile. You look at the protective circle that’s somehow formed around you. Marlene, Dorcas, Mary, Xenophilius, Regulus, Lily and the Marauders. (Since when did you gain a family like this in such a short time?)
“Where do I even begin?” you ask with a shuddery breath. “It might get a bit intense. . . and sad, and I wouldn’t want to overwhelm you. So it’s okay if you aren’t prepared to take this all in yet. I’d understand.”
“What one of us goes through, we all go through together,” Dorcas vows with her head high. “It’s not the first time we’ve done this, love,” she says, looking at everyone else in the room. “We’re here for you. Always have been. It’s what friends are for, aren’t they? You taught us that. Let us return the favor now.”
You laugh wetly, eyes crinkling with gratitude. “I suppose you’re right.”
There is no time like the present.
And if all goes awry, you probably might just jump out of a window and reset everything. (You wouldn’t, really. This life is precious to you more than anything in the world.)
You close your eyes and draw air into your lungs.
No time like the present.
“When I first died, I was only nineteen.” Despite the pinched expressions and soft gasps, you force the words out. You have to. Otherwise, the tale of your lives will be buried with you forever. This is the first time you have ever said the words aloud. It’s both exhilarating and terrifying. “Death Eaters came to Diagon Alley. It all happened so fast, next thing I knew the killing curse was cast straight at me.”
Regulus flinches, and you offer him an apologetic grimace.
“But that wasn’t the end,” you continue amidst their horrified wide-eyes—feeling Remus tighten his hold on your hand. You chuckle bitterly. “If it had been, maybe it all would’ve hurt less. When I woke up, I was back in the Gryffindor tower.”
“What?” Lily frowns as a shadow is cast over her eyes. “But how?”
“I wish I knew,” you reply with a lodge in your throat, eyes thick with incoming tears. “I really wish I knew. But I woke up back in Hogwarts. I was alive again. Somehow, someway, I was alive. But I was dying.” You shut your eyes, head craning to the ceilings as you swallow back a sob. “Have you felt what it’s like to be burnt alive? That’s what the killing curse is like. And I feel it everyday. When I told the nurses this, I was sent straight to St. Mungo’s. They could not heal what was not found in my body. They called me mad. And there was nothing I could do but believe them. It was like that until I died on an infirmary bed, leather straps around my wrists and legs, forbidden to leave the ward and feel even the sunlight on my face. I was deemed a threat to the others and myself.”
Lily beats you to the punch and cries into her hands—the harrowing sound torn from her throat. Mary, with her own stream of tears, pulls Lily into a hug.
“I-I told you it was ugly,” you say timidly, averting your gaze out of remorse. “We can stop here if you’d like.”
“We’re staying,” says Lily with a guttural edge to her words, eyes quickly growing red.
“Then, in my third life, I died by a. . . Greyback—it was Greyback who killed me.” You intertwine your fingers with Remus’s, who’s gone ashen from the reveal. “It’s alright.”
“The bloody hell do you mean it’s alright?” James bellows, running a hand through his hair as he tears himself from his seat, chest heaving up and down. “None of this is alright! How could you say that? We. . .We should tell Dumbledore or something—or anyone! This shouldn’t have happened to you—it’s just too cruel. . .”
“I know,” you acquiesce with a low hang of your head. “I know.”
Sirius exhales jaggedly. “Was that the last of it? Of your. . . your deaths?”
“No.” You stare at him with regret. “In my fourth life, I died in a Death Eater ambush.”
Xenophilius looks like he might faint any second.
“But in my fifth life, I met some people in the Muggle world,” you explain, remembering kind eyes and wide smiles, a family made in a home far away from magic and wars. “I loved them dearly. When I thought I was being punished by Gods, they gave me peace. They taught me unconditional love and I. . .” You let the tears drip onto your skirt. “I might never find them again, but I’ll never forget them for as long as I live. It was the only death given to me without pain.”
You watch as Lily’s doe-eyes flicker with realization. Three flowers in a watery grave.
“And here I am now. The end,” you say, forcing a crooked grin as you brush the dust off your school robes.
No one moves a muscle for the next few minutes.
You freeze in fear.
(Have you upset them? Do they see only a talking corpse now?)
The room is suffocatingly quiet and you can’t bear to see the pity or judgment in their eyes—so you run out of the room as though Death himself was hot on your heels.
They are right behind you—of course, they are. (Where a part of their soul goes, they will follow.)
“Are you angry?” You quietly ask, wrapping your arms around your waist—afraid to turn around and face them. “I would not blame you if you are.”
“No, not mad. Never.” Lily falls into place by your side, hovering but never stepping past your erected borders. “Maybe at the circumstances. It’s all so unfair. I’m. . . We’re just upset that you had to live through that all alone. To die over and over. I can’t imagine how much it must have hurt each time.”
You nod, swallowing the urge to crumble on the floor. “Then you’ll understand why. . . why you and I—all of us—I can’t be with you.”
Remus frowns, stepping forward to reach out to you. “What?”
“Don’t make this any harder than this has to be, please,” you beg, voice hoarse and hands trembling.
“What the hell are you talking about?” Sirius presses further, a bitter acid to his words. He looks frightened, almost—guilt instantly pools in your stomach.
“Don’t you see? Everything is changing!” You exclaim, grateful that you’ve chosen the abandoned corridors of the castle where no one dares to venture on a sunny day. “I can’t protect you if I don’t know what’s to happen next! I’d rather die again than let any of you get hurt.”
“Then don’t!” shouts James, veins straining against his neck, tears of his own glistening within his hazel eyes. “I would rather die than pretend none of what I feel—what we feel—for you isn’t real.”
“You don’t know what you’re saying, James,” you retort with a sharp scoff. “I’ve no need for a relationship that’s borne from pity or charity.”
“Pity?” Lily echoes incredulously. “You think I’ve confused love for pity? Is that how low you think of us? After all that we’ve been through?”
“Are you stupid?” Sirius bites back.
“Excuse me?” you shriek. “Must I spell it out for you? I’m trying to protect you! I am cursed!”
“Not anymore than I am!” Remus bellows with his fists tightly clenched, his canines laid bare and his cheeks lit ablaze. “If you’re cursed, I must be damned. Why can’t you allow yourself the same grace that you’ve given us?”
You wilt. “I can’t do it, Remus. I just can’t. If I die again, and everything resets—don’t you know how much it will kill me if we start as strangers again?”
Remus encases you in his warmth, an embrace that promises to keep you safe from all harm. (What good of a monster would he be if he can’t rip apart your fears for you?) “Then we will find you in that life. And every life after that. We’ll use a pensieve, or anything at all—just so we don’t forget.”
You melt in his arms, bathing in his scent of caraway and bergamot. You feel Remus placing a kiss on the crown of your head. “All these things I know. All these lives I’ve lived through. What if I ruin everything in this life?”
“Then do it,” Lily provokes stubbornly.
“Ruin me,” James pleads raspingly—a falter in his steps as though he’d get on his knees and beg in an instant just for you to stay with them. “Ruin me as much as you’d like. You would be the most beautiful devastation of my life.”
And so, you choose them.
For there was never any other option from the start.
YOU WAKE UP in the dead of the night, sunken in a mattress that is one too small for five people to fit in, leafy vines and fairy lights wrapped around the posters of the bed. Sometime during the night, Lily had thieved the wool blanket for herself. You rest in between her and Sirius, their snores echoing into your ears as the grasshoppers chirp outside. The potted plants will swing from the ceiling as the evening breeze passes by. (You’ll scold James in the morning for leaving the windows open again.) By your feet, is a fat Tabby cat with one eye named Tuna. (Full name: Tuna Belly.) There are moving pictures on the flower-plastered wall, a testament to the life you share—and the life you have fought hard for. Ruffled pillows are strewn across the carpeted floor. Parchments and notes lay askew on the desk table across the room—Remus’s jittery preparation for his first day next week as Hogwarts’s newest professor.
Remus will catch you wide awake and tuck you into his chest, murmuring, “Rest now. We’ve got an early morning tomorrow for Wormy’s wedding.”
You’ll hum and relinquish your thoughts for the night, holding onto James hand over Remus’s belly. “I love you,” you’ll whisper.
Remus will say it back without hesitation—and you know the others feel exactly the same.
Minutes later, the door will creak open and a tiny shadow will come crawling into the bed, knocking into everyone’s knees and stomach. It’s a little Harry who’s three years old now. He curls under your neck and you will hold him with all the love that six lifetimes can offer and more.
When you close your eyes, it is a comforting darkness that envelopes you.
(Somewhere in a castle beyond valleys and lakes, locked away in the dusty shelves of Dumbledore’s cupboards, sits a broken Time-Turner that finally stops ticking.)
a/n: i wrote the last 2k words like a woman posessed! LMAO. i have to be at training in 2 hours and i haven't prepared yet. tell me what you thought aaaaa!!!! and yes, your sixth life is your last life so u die happily and in peace mwah mwah. might continue this universe with drabbles, idk. if u spot any mistakes.. ignore it for a bit LMAO, i'll proofread this soon.
Hi! I was wondering if you could do poly!marauders with a clumsy s/o? Thank you!
Thanks for requesting love!
cw: blood
poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 1.4k words
“I’m going to purchase one of those leashes for unruly toddlers,” James says, thick lashes nearly touching as he squints down at your hand. “And I’m going to keep it around my wrist at all times.”
“It won’t be as good at catching me as you are,” you point out. You do your best not to wince as he picks a piece of gravel out of your palm, but his eyes flick up to you anyway, an apology in them.
“No, but at least I’ll be able to keep you close.”
You laugh a little. “I trip whether you’re nearby or not.”
“Beg to differ.” He sounds bitter, but James has always had a terrible poker face and the uptilt of his lips betrays him. He spreads ointment over the cuts on your hand before bandaging it. “If I was with you, this would’ve never happened. Guaranteed.”
“Yes, it’s all your fault.” Remus comes in from the kitchen, maneuvering carefully so as not to get the hot mug he’s carrying anywhere near James. He sets it next to your thigh on the bathroom counter. “Jamie,” his tone is chiding, a bit tired, “why have you started with her hands? She’s bleeding down to her ankles.”
“It’s nearly dried anyway,” you say, looking down at your shredded knees. Remus feels too bad for you to give you one of his worse reprimanding looks, but his eyes convey tremendous exasperation nonetheless.
“Because I knew she’d need her hands to hold her tea,” James replies, bumping Remus’ hip lightly with his. “Ease up, I’ve got it. Did you make yourself some tea too?”
Remus glances towards the kitchen the way an old captain might gaze at the sea. “I thought about it…”
“Do that,” James says. He finishes up with your other hand, bandaging it carefully. “Actually, would you mind just putting a kettle on? I’ll have a cup, and Sirius might want one too.”
You frown at that, but neither of your boyfriends see, Remus going into the kitchen with renewed purpose and James smiling slightly to himself as he finishes wrapping your hand.
“One of these days,” he whispers, backing up a bit so he can work on your knees, “you’re going to have to sit on the couch and feed Remus chocolates for all you put his heart through. We’ll be lucky if the next time you fall he doesn’t have an attack.”
“What’s Sirius coming here for?” you ask.
“Well, he does live here.”
You give him a look, but he doesn’t glance up from cleaning the blood off your shin. “He’s supposed to be shopping with Marlene.” Accusation and betrayal lines your words. “You texted him?”
James looks up at you now, sympathetic if not quite sorry. “You know I had to. He would’ve murdered me if he’d come home and seen you all bandaged up and nobody had told him.”
“You could take him,” you grumble.
He laughs. “I don’t know, sweetheart. He fights dirty.”
You laugh too, though it’s more a humorous huff. “He can’t come home every time I trip,” you say, twisting the string of your tea bag around your index finger. “It’s not like I need to go to the hospital.”
James works a larger piece of gravel out of your knee, eyebrows knit together by compassion. “He worries,” he says simply. “He wants to come home every time you hurt yourself, though if you recall, I didn’t tell anyone about you banging your head on the microwave door yesterday, or about when you fell on the stairs last week.” He looks up, grinning when you shrink, abashed. “But when you fall this bad, it’s a bit harder to hide. Sorry, lovie.”
It’s a double apology, for ratting you out and for the sting of the ointment he smears over your knee. You hiss through your teeth. “Fair enough,” you say. James smooths a large band-aid over the series of shallow cuts, kissing the skin just above it for good measure. “I just don’t like to worry him. Any of you, if I can help it.”
He shrugs. “I don’t think you can,” he says. You get what he means. Remus is a worrier, Sirius even more so, protective by nature and nurture. And each of your boyfriends cares about you too much to ignore how often you hurt yourself, even if you really think they should be desensitized to it and annoyed with you by now. “But I’m trying to get you cleaned up before he sees you, so hopefully that’ll help.”
Like James has just issued a summons, the rumble of Sirius’ bike comes from outside. James grimaces as it slows to a stop.
“I hate that fucking thing,” Remus growls from the kitchen.
James shoots a sad smile in that direction. You think that you might not single-handedly cause Remus’ heart attack if Sirius gets there first.
“Where is she?” Sirius calls as soon as he comes in the door. “I assume there’s a blood trail for me to follow?”
James chuckles. “I told you it wasn’t that grim,” he shouts down the hall, and a second later there are heavy footsteps coming toward you. You brace yourself.
“Fucking hell.” He halts just in the threshold of the bathroom, then seems to change his mind, striding over to you. His eyes are glued to the bloody mess of your uncovered knee. “Darling, what did you do?”
You knew what to expect from him, and still your voice comes out smaller than you mean it to. “I missed the curb going out to get the mail,” you say.
Sirius’ eyes lift to yours, widening. “You fell into the road?” You nod. “You could’ve been hit by a car!”
“There weren’t any cars.” There are almost never any cars on your street, and he knows that.
“You’re lucky there weren’t,” he says anyway, holding his hand out. You place one of yours in it obediently, palm up. There’s a bit of blood marring the beige bandage, and Sirius makes a terribly soft pitying sound. “Your poor, lovely hands.” He runs a careful finger over the covering. “How bad was it?” he asks James.
“I told you, not horrific,” James says, finishing with getting the debris out of your knee and twisting the cap off the ointment. He looks up to be sure you’re ready before he starts smoothing it on.
“Stitches?”
“Oh, tons. She’s held together more by thread than skin at this point.”
You roll your eyes, but Sirius coos, “My poor sweetheart,” and grabs hold of your face to plant a kiss on your lips. You must look as pleasantly surprised as you feel, because he does it again, bending forward to avoid bumping his hip into your knee.
His thumb sweeps across your cheek as he pulls away, brows furrowed. “Does it hurt?” he asks, and now the mirth has disappeared from his tone. You don’t know how Sirius does that, going from teasing to not in a blink.
“Not so badly,” you tell him.
He hums, stroking your face again. “Would you tell me if it did?”
You feel your lips twitch, and Sirius’ eyes narrow like he knows your answer before you’ve spoken. “Probably not,” you admit, “but it really doesn’t.”
He stares you down for a minute, murky eyes scanning yours for traces of untruth, his dark brows lowered. You reach up to slot a piece of hair behind his ear, and he cracks, mouth kicking up at the corner.
“Alright, drink your tea before it gets cold.”
“I’ve actually made tea for everyone,” Remus calls, not from the kitchen this time but from the living room. “And snacks, so please come eat them.”
James grins, touch moving up the back of your knee to your thigh as he stands. “Excellent,” he says eagerly. “You’re all fixed up, m’love. Let’s go take care of Rem now.”
You start to hop down from the counter, but Sirius says, “Wait, wait!” and grabs you by the hips, keeping you in place. “Can you walk?”
You nod, because duh, your legs are scraped, not broken, but Sirius looks to James, the both of them frowning thoughtfully.
“Best not to risk reopening them,” James decides, scooping you up off the counter.
You huff a laugh, rolling your eyes. “Thank you,” you say, rather than this is deeply unnecessary and you’re being ridiculous. James seems to hear both anyway, planting a sloppy, smiley kiss on your cheek. Sirius, satisfied, follows you down the hall. “I didn’t mean to make you my manservant, I swear.”
“Happy to do it,” he says. “Now drink your tea, it’ll make Rem feel better.”