Quotes For Me - Tumblr Posts
"the 5th celebrity you have saved on your phone -" you and i live in vastly different worlds
“beige flags” “trauma dump” “the ick” let me ask you this have you ever gone outside and marvelled at the beauty of the spider’s web
I know it's not the worst thing about capitalism. But I do think there's something really *bad* about the fact that between lack of leisure time, lack of disposable income, and "hustle culture" mindset that for many, many, many people the primary/only way they are able to express their creativity and artistic aesthetics is through consumer culture. Buying stuff and displaying that stuff.
When like...making stuff. Drawing, painting, weaving, crafting, sketching is like, baked deep deep into our bones as humans.
But I know so many adults who haven't like...drawn a picture since they were children.
To add; "They left out that children aren’t your purpose in life. They shouldn’t give your life meaning. That’s something you should have already had."
Tweets and this comment found on Reddit.
I got my heart broken and I survived, I failed 3 courses in university and graduated, I got rejected in the very first job I applied for and got promoted yesterday, I went through hard times with my family but then two years later, we laughed our hearts out over lunch, The closest friends disappointed me several times but I made new friends and loved them with all my heart. I did it once, I can do it again.
This is gonna sound rather conceited but I feel like it highlights an issue we have in Art.
I'm good at art. I've never had a hard time making art. I started using crayons before I could walk. Painting, Beadwork, sculpture, sketching, stippling, whatever- once I have a feel for the material, it doesn't take long to start doing what I want with it. It's been a common theme my whole life.
(Y contrast I'm awful at things like dancing, performance, sports, etc- in all things there is balance, right?)
Now, I've taught myself to use so many artistic mediums now that I KNOW how to most efficiently integrate them into the brain database. Once you really *understand* a material, it's much like memorizing the layout of your house, or flexing a muscle, or something in-between- it becomes PART of your brain in a way I cant quite articulate. But to get there involves just fucking around for a bit doing nothing in particular.
And I've found, especially in group settings, that nobody seems to be able to see you make something badly and leave you alone. Even if you say you're fine, you don't want help, you're happy, you're having fun, it's fine, they gotta ride your ass and hover.
I was at a class the other day for something I hadn't done before. The medium was one I've never used, so once the instructor told us the basics I started experimenting with weight, gravity, texture, viscosity, saturation, temperature, etc. The instructor had given enough info to know what was dangerous and what was safe, and beyond that I just wanted to absorb what I could about it.
And no insult to the instructor, but they kept checking in. Which was fine the first few times.
But then, without asking me what I was trying to do, started giving tips. That I told them I was grateful for but didn't really need just yet. If I had a question, I'd ask.
But they kept coming over. And touching my shit. And manipulating my project. And touching my hands. And using my tools. Without fucking asking.
And this happens every time. EVERY TIME. And by now I know the best way to get them to fuck off is to make something way beyond their expectations so they know I'm capable, then go back to doing what I want.
So I did. I wanted to keep having fun and learning, but instead I made something beautiful that I really didn't want to make, and wasted my time, and really didn't learn what I wanted to learn at all. I knew the formula to create a beautiful thing, so I followed that formula the same way I have a hundred times before, and didn't get to try anything spontaneous or ugly or exciting, just so I could be left alone.
And I know when I was a kid, I was aware aware people saw me puttering alone on something ugly assumed I had a special issue and treated me like I was stupid because of that. (I was neurodivergent.) And at at time I knew that I could do a neat trick for them like a trained pony and they'd go, "Oh, surely they aren't defective if they can do something like that!" And piss off.
But what if I hadn't known how to do that?
What if I hadn't been talented, or "special"?
What if I'd been just any other average kid trying to learn, and I couldn't pop something pretty out of my ass to get them off my back?
My problem my whole life has been that I haven't been allowed to make anything ugly in peace. I'm capable of beauty, so I have to make beauty, or get stepped on. And once people see what I can do, they get loud about it. "Look at this! Look what they did! We all know who the best is, don't we?". And that used to feel good, but it's tiring.
And how many people like me just wanted to play? Just wanted to have fun and experiment? Who were having fun with no goal in mind, or just took longer to learn, who gave up because of all the obnoxious helpers breathing down their neck with no way to shake them off?
How many of us are made to feel defective because we aren't doing things beautifully?
I have a lovely piece of art I didn't want to make.
I think I'm gonna frame it.*
(*I think I'm gonna burn it in my yard.)
One of the most dangerous things in the world is not being able to say no to people because you don't want to upset them or dissapoint them. This will completely ruin your life in every way possible, at work, in your private life, your sex life and your friendships. It's a way of removing your own consent in your own decisions and go against your wishes, it is always a crime against yourself. Let yourself have a say. Upsetting people is better than traumatizing yourself.
Changing my belief system from "this is the hill I'll die on" to "this is the hill I'll kill you on" has done absolute wonders for me 10/10 do recommend
some of you need to make your bed and have a shower with a soap that smells nice, and then sit in a chair near the window and have tea with milk and read a hardcover book and see how your creative block is after that tbh.
People who are unable to suspend their disbelief are so boring. Like holy shit you discovered this fictional story does not 100% correlate with our reality? Should we call CNN? Should we invite Beyoncé?
"the education system traumatizes students it deems stupid" and "the education system traumatizes students it deems gifted" are two concepts that can and should coexist.
“don’t go where i can’t follow” is literally the most romantic thing anyone has ever said. it’s like. i’ll let you bring me anywhere—far from home, far from the places and people i love, so long as you stay with me. i’ll let you walk into danger and through hell, but i will not let you go where i can’t go with you. that is where i draw the line.
"we live in an uncaring universe." sorry the special planet full of beauty and animals and food literally growing out of the ground isnt good enough for you. i guess
To recognize TERFs, anti’s, fash, incels and other internet shitstains, one pattern you need to recognize is this:
They take some normal human behavior
Explain it in the darkest, most bad faith way possible
And then ignore any other, often more realistic, explanation.
A simple example:
A lot of adults watch TV shows about high school relationship drama.
Dark bad faith take: all these adults are obsessing over teenager sex lives because they want to fuck teenagers.
More realistic explanation: a lot of adults have memories of their own high school relationship drama that they like to relive, process, etc through media.
Another realistic explanation: People can empathize with the stories of hobbits, dragons, defense lawyers, plucky detectives, space rebels, talking dogs and teenagers in high school without always having a desire to fuck the characters involved. It is possible to just enjoy a story as a story without it fulfilling some emotional of sexual need.
Like, when you take a tiny step back, it becomes clear that the jump from ‘adults watch high school dramas’ to ‘they all want to fuck teenagers’ is absolute moon logic.
This logic only works if you assume the absolute worst possible things about the group you’re talking about. This logic works if the only lens you can see a group through is ‘predator’ and you do not acknowledge that they are completely humans who can just do non-predatory things like ‘enjoying stories’.
And assuming the absolute worst possible things about a specific group while denying their complexity and humanity… well, that is absolutely key to what TERFs, anti’s, fashos, incels, etc. do.
Every time I advocate for voting people are like "no you shouldn't vote! Read this literature, it'll totally change the way you view voting!" And every single time it's the same fucking "you shouldn't vote because both parties are exactly the same so it won't make a difference who wins" bullshit wrapped up in some fancy language
this is not wasted time. time spent healing and growing and letting yourself feel all the things is never wasted.
grabs your hand. you've had enough plot and exposition and character development lately im taking you to the beach episode
TRAUMA BEING A RESPONSE
To make it more understandable: you broke your arm. You need to treat it.
Why and how did you break it? Car accident or falling from a chair?
It doesn't matter. Your arm is BROKEN.
It can feel unfair if you got into bad happenings with your sibling and they got their spine broken and you have just a broken rib. YOU STILL NEED TO TREAT YOUR RIB.
Someone got their arms and legs broken during torture, and you got your leg broken falling from a bicycle. This person have it worse? YES. Do you still have your leg broken? YES. Do other persons broken bones make you suffer less? NO.
You yourself got your arms and legs broken during torture. Does it suck? YES, VERY MUCH. Can you say that other person didn't suffer enoth to have their bones broken? NO
It doesn't matter what happened. The thing we are treating is not the accident, it's the broken bone.
Same with trauma. Broken bone is trauma.