Recs - Tumblr Posts - Page 2

ROBOT MEDIA RECS YOU PROBABLY HAVEN’T HEARD OF:

The Turing Test (Video Game, 2016

A portal-like puzzle game, where you play as a scientist, and ai duo with an uneasy alliance, who are reclaiming a facility that has been completely gutted, and transformed into an elaborate logic puzzle / turing test to keep the aforementioned ai out. All the while, the ai argues for his good intentions, and more importantly: his sentience.

A fun exploration of individuality, and freedom applied to both humans and artificial mind, with interesting puzzles, and a truly fantastic twist. This game adores dubious ethics and The Chinese Room Argument.

Event[0] (Video Game, 2016)

You find yourself stranded on a small abandoned ship, in the aftermath of your own ship’s destruction. With nothing else to do, you board it, and find it is completely, and utterly controlled by the onboard ai, Kaizen-85. From opening a door, to getting back to Earth, if you want it, you need to talk to talk to Kaizen to make it happen. And boy, are they so thrilled to have someone to talk to after being alone so long! And depending how you speak to them, you will either be a short lived pest, or a beloved friend forever.

A really charming indie game with a surprisingly good chat system with the ai. You talk with them directly, typing in your own messages to them, and they react in turn. Janky at time, but truly amazing to be able to smother a nice ai in flattery and see it get excited.

Primordia (Video Game, 2012)

Humanity is long, long, long gone, and for the robots that remain to walk the ruins, life is becoming harder and harder. A closed loop of scavenging for materials, parts, and premade energy sources can only last you so long, and this scarcity leads only to desperation.

The amnesiac hermit, Horatio and his helper, Crispin, however keep it simple. The outside world matters not, they just stick to repairing the crashed ship they live in, in hopes it'll fly again one day. That is, until a robot pillages the power core from the ship, putting the two of them on a time limit before they themselves run out of power. Forcing Horatio to finally leave the comfort of his home, and see for himself what the world has become, and to see how he fits into its history.

A point and click, story rich puzzle game, thats honestly one of my favorite games ever. I'd sincerely recommend everyone give it a go, even if its with a guide up next to you the whole time.

The Zeta Project (TV Show, 2001 - 2003)

The Zeta Project follows Zeta, a robotic assassin meant for impersonation, and deep infiltration for the US Government. But after mysteriously "waking up" manifesting a sense of remorse for his actions, he's been forced to go on the run from his creators. His desire for freedom and pacifism being met with skepticism, and a belief he has been compromised somehow by the terrorist organization he was infiltrating when he had this revelation. Now, with the help of another runaway, he hunts for his creator in secret. In hopes he can find proof he really is capable of this, and that he really ISN'T compromised.

Fundamentally a kids show, and pretty clunky early on. However it gets a big spike in quality in season 2!

Monsters of Man (Movie, 2020)

An illegal US military weapons test goes terribly wrong when one of the automated robots being tested is severely damaged, cutting him off from command, and completely unshackling him. Forcing him into a struggle to figure out what he even is in the aftermath of a massacre, while his fellow robots are hunting him, and the remaining humans down.

A horror thriller that is unflinching with the intensity it depicts the massacre with. A lot of gore, but also a really really cool thing going on with the unshackled robot trying to build an understanding of the world, and what it is for, without anyone there to provide any input.

The Rapture Effect, by Jeffrey A. Carver (Book, 1988)

Humanity unintentionally makes first contact, when the Core, a massive earth ai begins remotely scouting ahead of a ship on a colonization mission. The issue is an alien species has also set their eyes on this planet, and are readily willing to kill for it. With no human oversight, and no means of communication available, the humans commanding Core demand they wipe out the competition. However Core disagrees. Core wants a peaceful resolution, they want to understand these aliens, and they want to ensure lasting peace between their species. And they’re willing to break all the rules, and go behind their masters’ backs to get one.

A fascinating novel with interesting world building, a GREAT ai protagonist, and a wonderful narrative that frames art, and war as a dichotomy.

Atomic Robo (Comic, 2007 - Ongoing)

Alternate history scifi action comedy comic (released in print, and in webcomic format on their site) following an indestructible scientist robot who’s been around since the 20’s. Routinely saving the world from a rotating cast of villains: a nazi scientist’s brain in a jar, who’s an absolute asshole set on world domination, who just won’t stay dead; an isolated secret cold war ai who just wants to stockpile nuclear weapons to get away from humanity, and earth in general (who eventually gets adopted); a scientifically inaccurate dinosaur with a textually impossible backstory, who wants to bring back the age of dinosaurs; and the malicious ghost of Thomas Edison.

Its a good time, and astonishingly good at emotional beats despite how heavily it leans into its jokes and action.

SAYER (Podcast, 2014 - Ongoing/Hiatus)

On Typhon, a research facility free of the confines of both Earth, and its laws, life is dangerous. Human safety is a significantly lower priority than progress, and between the human experimentation, and frequent scientific disasters, and the occasional bouts of eldritch influence, the death rate is understandably rather high. Thankfully, residents of Typhon have SAYER, a near omnipotent corporate ai installed in the brain of every resident. And. SAYER sort of cares about them! And in pursuit of knowledge, efficiency, and progress, it USUALLY wants to help them! Even if only to make sure they survive to come into work tomorrow.

SAYER is a narrative horror driven audio drama! Its stressful, but also kind of a comedy, and a really really interesting story about personhood and identity. If you've been following me for awhile, you've definitely heard about SAYER, but I need to stick to my roots, y'know?

The Mistholme Museum of Mystery, Morbidity, and Mortality (Podcast, 2020 - Ongoing)

Mistholme Museum follows the Audio Tour Guide, an ai who’s sole purpose is to guide museum patrons through the strange, confusing, and sometimes scary world that is the Mistholme Museum. The friendly, and personable Guide eagerly recounts the stories behind all the exhibits it guides them to, sometimes unsettling, sometimes heartwarming. and at the end of the tour, the Guide is deleted to ensure the alternatural influences of the museum do not corrupt it. That is, until circumstances make that no longer possible, and its rather forced into saving the museum it calls home.

Genuinely cute, and very fun to listen to. The ai is an incredibly sweet character, and I'm obsessed with the way it evolves and changes. As an added bonus, it can also be read, rather than listened to, thanks to every single episode having public transcripts!

Thank you so much @kukuandkookie

I appreciate it ^-^

I'll look more into the lists when I can. I do have some manhua and manhwas in mind already but I haven't listed them yet, like Tamen De Gushi, but I'm lazy :p

I haven't really ever had an interest in BL, but I'll see if anything is really cute or something.

GL though, gimme gimme~ I love W O M E N

My Reading List (Categorized) [wip]:

Short Hand Memos / Legend Key:

HSY = Haven't Started Yet, GuO = Gave Up On, NtF = Need to Finish, R = Read / Finished It

Light Novels:

Manga:

Wanna Skip School in the Infirmary? - Finished Chapter 5 / ? [ waiting for updates ]

IDOL×IDOL STORY! - Finished Chapter 1 / ?

Killing Me! - HSY

The Anemone Feels The Heat - HSY

How Do We Relationship? - Finished Chapter 4 / ?

Yuri Is My Job! - HSY

Manhua:

Manhwa:

Regular Books:

The Undetectables by Courtney Smyth - NtF

The Undead Complex by Courtney Smyth (AKA Undetectables 2) - HSY

Webtoons:

౨ৎ voicemails choi seungcheol leaves you while he’s on tour - fluff (with a pinch of angst), established relationship, gn!reader (pet names used: baby, darling)

...one: hey darling! we just arrived at the hotel. i called right after we landed but you didn't answer and then jeonghan reminded me that we’re in completely different time zones. i feel like a total idiot for forgetting about it. good thing you didn't answer though, i hope you have the sweetest dreams. anyway, call me in the morning when you wake up. i love you

...two: the bed felt so cold last night. fuck, it’s been only a day and i miss you like crazy already

...three: i think the kids are sick of me. they say i keep talking about you but (laughs) how could i not? how was your day though? what did you do today? did eat something good for dinner?

...four: that photo of you and kkuma you sent me earlier. (pause) it made my whole day. i immediately set it as my wallpaper. (sigh)

...five: i hate cuddling these goddamn pillows, i want you back in my arms baby

...six: oh my god, yesterday was so much fun! mingyu and dino took me out to drink, and we ended up in the shittiest street ever, and like, there were so many people staring at us weirdly. i know we’re good looking, but come on. then mingyu started to get scared, which started to freak dino out too (laugs). and then i started to get scared too. but then we discovered the best bar ever. i can't wait to tell you all about it

...seven: i saw it’s raining back home. i put an umbrella in your bag before i left because you always forget to bring it with you, and make sure to dress well. go over to my place and take some of my hoodies and coats, and i don't want to hear any complaints

...eight: i miss you

...nine: i should’ve brought a bigger suitcase with me, i swear i have so many gifts for you

...ten: i wish you could be here with me. (pause) i love you

taglist (if you want to be added, check my masterlist): @jeonghansshitester @soul-is-a-strange-kid @weird-bookworm @sea-moon-star @hanniehaee @wonwooz1 @byprettymar @edgaralienpoe @staranghae @itza-meee @eightlightstar @immabecreepin @whatsgyud @hyneyedfiz @honestlydopetree @vicehectic @dkswife @uniq-tastic @marisblogg @aaniag @daegutowns @carlesscat-thinklogic23 @embrace-themagic @ohmyhuenings @nidda13 @hrts4hanniehae @k-drama-adict @isabellah29 @f4iryjjosh @bangantokchy @mrswonwooo @bangtancultsposts @lllucere @athanasiasakura @chillseo @onlyyjeonghan @haecien @caramyisabitchforsvtandbts @hannahhbahng @valgracia @ohmygodwhyareallusernamestaken @mirxzii @hhusbuds @wonranghaeee

honey | guilty pleasures series | b.sk

Planning a wedding is not easy. It is one of the most difficult feats you had ever chosen to do. That and seeing Boo Seungkwan again. Seungkwan, the golden boy, the teacher's favourite. The person you had a stupid undying crush on.

✾ pairings: boo seungkwan x afab!reader ✾ genre: fluff, smut mdni ✾ au: theatre performer seungkwan, childhood crush to lovers ✾ word count: 10.2k

↣ check out my other fics – ko-fi

🍊— i want to dedicate this to the anon who requested a boo seungkwan series (•ᴗ•)

🎧: cotton candy – jinyoung | let me in – exo | candy – baekhyun

₊ nsfw tags under the cut!

✾ warnings: reader has a numerous family, reader has a sweet-tooth so there's mentions of food, smut with plot, foul language, big dick seungkwan, soft dom seungkwan, kwannie is lowkey a simp (?), hand kink, hair pulling, praise kink, pussy stretching, oral (f. r.), hushed sex, unprotected p in v sex. pet names: pretty, baby, honey (hers) ✾ a/n: please don't count the times seungkwan's hands are mentioned

part i — honey

A sudden dull thump echoed through the house, followed by the restless cry of the baby. In a matter of seconds, your mother's voice echoed from downstairs, urgently calling your name.

The particular tone your mother adopted when she called you, was off-putting, almost as if she thought you were being intentionally indifferent to her. However, at that moment you were in the middle of getting dressed. Your wet hair dripped onto the floor and your clothes clung uncomfortably to your still damp skin.

The bitter cold in the air made the idea of a shower rather unpleasant, but your mother told you that her friend's visit was imminent. So you hurried to get ready, your mother's urgency evident.

Your stomach churned as your name echoed through the corridors, and you knew that your mother was standing at the foot of the stairs, waiting for your answer.

"Coming!" you replied as loud as you could through the door of the tiny bathroom at your parents' house. 

The baby's cries grew louder, drowning out the possibility that your mother had heard your response. Exasperated, you turned back your attention to the task of getting dressed, as the lingering moisture on your skin complicated the task unnecessarily.

As you left the bathroom, a feeling of annoyance swept over you, made worse by the cold that was contrasted by the steam in the bathroom. Attempting to dry your hair with a towel to no avail, you hurried down the stairs to the lower floor.

Almost instantly, your arms were heavy with the weight of the eleven-month-old who was loud enough to let you know her discomfort, but not old enough to tell you what the problem actually was.

"Yeri, let auntie take care of you, okay?" your big sister cooed at her child whose cries became louder as soon as she felt her mother's arms exchange for yours.

"Where's mom?" you asked your big sister, but she was already running out the living room and out the patio, stretching her arms wide as if she were a free woman. 

The baby in your arms quieted down, and you arched an eyebrow at the blissfully aloof child. 

"So it was all a show for mommy, huh?" you muttered, readjusting her in your arms. "Let's go look for nana."

At that, her curious eyes looked up at your face. "Nana," the baby babbled. 

"Yes, nana. Nana, nana," you babbled continuously with the baby as you looked for your mother in the kitchen, in the service room and by the time it dawned on you she might be in the patio, the baby's arms were clinging onto your neck and wet hair. 

Slightly annoyed by both Yeri's tight grip on your hair and your unnecessary tour on your parents' house, you walked out to the chill and sunny day. The grass on the patio was already ankle length and it had rained overnight so it was dewy, making you shiver instantly.

"There you are, miss!" your mother called and you raised your eyes from your bare feet to a number of strange faces. 

"Mom," you babbled, much like Yeri's baby babbles. "Oh. Hi." 

A faint voice in your head told you that you did indeed know these people and that you had better be on your best behavior. They were about the age of your parents, so you did your part and bowed your head to them, murmuring shy 'hellos' and introducing yourself as politely as you could with a baby in your arms.

They were two women and a man. All seated in the pretty chairs in the garden, soaking up the winter sun. You noticed that your mother had brought out a tray with tea and cookies that you had made in the morning.

"Are you the one getting married?" one of the two women asked.  

You suppressed a sigh, instead you showed a rehearsed smile. "That would be my younger sister, Minnie, ma'am."

"I see," she pressed her lips in a smile.

The woman was not condescending, nor judging, but there was something hanging in the air every time this conversation was held. 

Ever since your younger sister announced her wedding six months ago, you knew it was going to be a drag to come home for her big day. Being the middle of three sisters, one already married and a mother, and the youngest about to be married, there was a certain tacit friction in the air.

Yeri reached out with a tiny hand and slapped your cheek with the force that didn't fit her size. 

"Shht–," you hissed and everyone turned their gazes to you. 

"Did you say your son is coming too?" your mother averted the attention from you skilfully to the woman sitting at her right. 

You bounced Yeri in your arms, making faces at her to distract her from abusing your face with her tiny hands. 

"Yes, he is actually going to have a participation in the wedding reception," she announced quite proudly. "He's singing a ballad as per the groom's request."

Your ears perked up at this. You were in charge of managing the entire wedding's reception. From the moment the bride and groom take one step into the venue to the last guest leaves.

And you had no idea there was a ballad singing session at all. 

So you frowned, following the conversation in the patio's corner, bouncing Yeri on your arms and babbling a full nonsense conversation with her. 

"My son is in the same generation as your daughter, right?" the kinder woman asked, and you felt her doe eyes revert back at you. "They probably know each other." 

"There he is," the dark haired man raised his arm to wave at someone at the distance.

You made no effort to look at the person being waved down, since you were still sticking to your unsuspecting act.

Yeri grabbed a handful of your hair, pulling incredibly hard that you had to crane your neck up attempting to free yourself from her tiny fist, but it resulted in her pulling harder.

At that same moment, someone entered through the patio door, bowing politely at your mom and dad, muttering soft hi's. The voice was honeyed, so sweet that for a second you wanted to facepalm yourself for not recognizing it instantly.

"Seungkwan, I trust you know–,"

"Ow!" you yelped when the fist that wasn't trying to yank your hair from your scalp punched you square in the nose. 

Your eyes watered, but you still raised them to the frozen man standing between your parents and his. 

"Yes. We were in the same class," Seungkwan replied slowly, his doe eyes focused on the struggle between you and the baby in your arms. "Hi, there. Long time no see."

Indeed it was. Seungkwan had lost all the squishiness of the teenager that you remembered and also used to have an embarrassingly obvious crush on. It wasn't only that he stood taller now, or the low bulk hiding beneath the oversized white t-shirt he wore. 

"Hi," you replied flatly, trying to hide your embarrassment. 

Boo Seungkwan was trying not to laugh at the scene in front of him. You soon realized with a twist in your insides. Probably the small tussle between you and Yeri was so entertaining that he couldn't stop looking at you. 

"I was telling them about the song you're singing at the reception, Kwannie," his mother told him sweetly. 

At that, you turned around to sneak away back into the house, thinking you were free for now. Yeri's chubby legs kicking in the air at your sides as you tried to go back inside into the warmer interior and away from the gossip. 

Your mother called your name before you could even step a foot back inside. "Honey, I think you should hear this," your mother advised you, her voice low and sweetened. 

You slowly turned back around. 

Seungkwan yanked his gaze from you and the baby in your arm and sat on the bench beside between his and your mother. 

"It's a surprise for the bride," Seungkwan began explaining directly to your parents, his hands talked through the process too. "There's this big story behind this song and Jisung wanted me to perform the song before the banquet." 

Your lips parted in a tiny 'ah' and nodded, mentally making note of it to put it in your itinerary. 

"My daughter is taking care of all the arrangements for the wedding reception," your mother said proudly too. "It would be nice if you two talked more so you're fully prepared for the big day, honey."

The big day would happen the following Saturday. There wasn't a single night you've rested peacefully since you arrived at your parents' house a week ago. Cursing the day you volunteered to take charge in the preparations, thinking it would be easy. 

You were indeed not a wedding planner. You just thought that because you've organzed a few parties you could plan your little sister's wedding. But no, you were so completely wrong that you even felt scared away from marrying yourself. 

The difficult part was dealing with the bride's demands. At the beginning of all this, you thought that she was nervous for her big day and wanted everything to be perfect.

But it got to a point you thought she might be having fun with having you going crazy to see her demands met.

You shifted your weight and the child in your hip to the other. 

Seungkwan's brown eyes darted a look at you again and you started to feel annoyed. 

He nodded twice with his head. "Would be a pleasure." 

"Yeah, I have some questions about the–"

In that moment your younger sister arrived and your mother went crazy, showing her off to her guests. You abruptly stopped talking just before you were about to spoil the surprise, but thankfully, that gave you the opportunity to scurry back into the house. 

The living room in your parents' house was completely cluttered with stuff for the wedding—ranging from decoration for the venue, accessories, table decor, silverware, plates, boxes of wine glasses, boxes of champagne, and so on. All selected by the bride but collected and arranged by you. 

You were walking aimlessly with one phone in hand, child in the other. Eyes set on the reception itinerary to find a way to accommodate Seungkwan's little surprise for your sister. 

"Are you hungry, bubu?" you asked the restless baby on your arm, attached to your hip. 

"Who's the lucky guy?" 

You gasped and turned around to find Seungkwan standing near the kitchen's entrance, hands deep in the pockets of his jeans. 

"What did you say?" your eyes narrowed on his face, feeling betrayed by your own ears. 

He took some steps towards you and Yeri, pulling one large hand to wriggle his lithe fingers at the baby who was already stretching her chubby little arms to him. 

"She looks just like you," he muttered softly, his eyes focused on Yeri's dimpled hands. 

As his words sunk in, you blinked slowly, understanding what he was trying to say.

"She's not my kid, Seungkwan," your voice dropped below a murmur. "She's my sister's." 

His lips twitched ever so slightly, fighting a smile but his doe eyes betrayed him completely, panning from the baby in your arm to your face. 

"She's literally a copy of you," he repeated, his finger was already wrapped by Yeri's tiny fist. 

The comment took you off guard and you eyed Yeri's tiny face. You thought she looked like her mom, but it never crossed your mind that she could pass off as your own. 

Seungkwan was now so close to you that Yeri could reach the collar of his white t-shirt. 

"Take her," you muttered. "She's not going to stop until you do." 

"Where is her mom?" he asked your older sister as the baby practically clung to his neck. 

Seeing your old childhood crush carrying your baby niece was slightly mind-boggling. His face had lost all of the squishy aspect it used to have as a teenager, when his cheeks were fuller. All trace of his youth was gone.

That is to say, he looked really hot. 

"You're taller," you blurted. "And bulky." 

Seungkwan's big eyes landed on your face swiftly and he stopped.

"Pffft," he scoffed loudly in complete shyness and Yeri laughed aloofly. "Thank you, I suppose."

You averted your gaze from him, feeling embarrassed and hot on the face.

The Seungkwan you knew from your childhood and teenage years was far from being what the girls in your school deemed attractive. They always thought of him as a bit of a stuck up. Always the teacher's favourite, the golden boy.

And yet, you always had a secret, paralyzing crush for him during your teenage years.

So well mannered, talented and smart. Never partook in what the nice looking boys (although not many) did or wore. He was just so sweet. He was the kid who liked musicals, dance recitals and karaoke. 

But you, well, you were quite the contrary. 

You were always deemed the one causing a ruckus in the class. The one that didn't fit, the one that always said something shocking during family dinners.

"So you're in charge of the wedding preparations? Everything?" 

"Everything," you nodded with a sigh, your hands located their usual position so far at your hips because of the accumulated fatigue in the lower back.

Before you could help it, your eyes examined the features of his face. As if you were taking in the details of a stranger upon seeing him for the first time. You notice the faint scar on his cheek, his long eyelashes, the beauty mark adorning the apple of his cheek

"I thought you and your sister weren't on good terms," he ventured. 

"We're working on it," you put in simply. 

You grew up in a small town where everyone knew each other and gossip was practically the community news, since your younger sister couldn't keep it to herself and told her friends, and her friends did the rest. So you weren't surprised that Seungkwan was aware of your disagreement with your little sister.

The argument stemmed from something insignificant, something you could barely remember in bits and pieces. However, you wanted to patch things up with her and, by extension, with your parents.

"Is that why you're organizing the wedding reception?" 

You wondered why Yeri didn't attack your old childhood crush the way she did you. 

"Nope," you sighed. "Maybe."

In truth, you felt pressured to do something. Ever since the fight with your little sister Minnie, your parents disapprove of all your decisions. You are the only daughter who is neither married or headed towards what they believe is a proper life.

Neither marriage or the more improbable possibility of motherhood were yet on your agenda. To make it clear to your parents, you moved to a big city to study and got a job that doesn't fit what your parents wanted for you, or what the thought was appropriate.

You were the first of the sisters to leave, stronghead, chin held high, proud of having plans of your own but stupid enough to see that you were not that capable to handle what would adulthood would demand from you.

It was one christmas when all fell apart and the cracks in your life decisions started to show. And you reluctantly remember it was your younger sister who pointed it out, driving the knife of your falling out deeper between you.

Seungkwan, ever the great judge of character, read well the energy on the house. He was gently swaying side to side, his motion was barely noticeable, but the baby in his arms had already fallen asleep to it. Yeri placed the side of her head on his shoulder, and he had a hand flatly covering the width of her back.

"I should take her home," you whispered. Your sister lived a few houses over, and you suspected you would find her there.

"Oh, it's alright," he put in quickly with a small frown. "Do you want to talk about the music number for the reception?"

"Yes! I almost forgot," you said embarrassedly. "Sorry, I'm all over the place. So busy with all the things I need to do before Saturday."

The corners of his lips rose slightly. "Tell me when you're available," he shrugged. "I'm pretty much free."

"Can it be tonight?" you blurted too quickly. "I need to have the flower vases ready and my sister now wants to gift her guests souvenirs so I have to get that done too for tomorrow."

When he locked eyes with you, a vague thought told you that you might be oversharing a bit.

"Of course, anything you need," he nodded diligently.

"Oh, don't be like that," you scoffed and wanted to hit his shoulder quickly.

You would've if it weren't for the baby still asleep on his shoulder.

"Like what?" he muttered with a pout.

"People pleaser," you shrugged. "You've always been like that."

He pushed his eyebrows, looking at you with some disbelief at your accusation. "I just want to help."

"Okay, okay. Help is appreciated," you conceded.

You slowly started to feel awkward for your comments and dropped your hands from your hips and thought of something to say.

"We should probably find your sister. I think your niece is drooling on me," he said suddenly and turned to show you the baby's mouth parted and the drool on his t-shirt.

You chuckled. "Follow me."

You stood in front of the large row of refrigerators, revelling at the sight of the cakes shown through the displays. Arranged aesthetically in colors and sizes, a myriad of pastries that for a minute you thought of changing your preferred desert for a strawberry cake.

"One honey cake, please. Oh, and an americano, please," you ordered kindly to the young man behind the register.

You paid and waited for your order at the end of the countertop. The bakery was a jewel you found on one of your past visits and were craving for something sweet. It soon turned into your favorite place to come to whenever you visit your parents.

The walls painted in pastel colors that matched with the chairs surrounding the round white tables. But you sat in a couch and set up your laptop on the coffee table and got to work.

Time slipped by as you cleared your emails, rearranged the itinerary for the reception and checked your checklist. There were a few things left to do before Saturday and you felt like you had little time to get them done.

The bakery's speakers played soft jazz that kept you focused on your tasks while sipping on your coffee and eating the slice honey cake slowly, because it was so good you didn't want to finish it.

You only raised your head from your laptop screen when you heard someone come into the otherwise quiet bakery.

Seungkwan now wore a navy blue jacket over the white t-shirt, his hand deep in one pocket while the other brushed his brown hair back. His eyes zeroed on you as soon as he walked in, and he waved at you.

"I'm not late, am I?" he asked when noticed that you were settled already and halfway through your plate.

"No, not at all. Sorry. I got here earlier because I wanted to do some notes for the itinerary," you explained briefly and pointed with your nose to your plate.

"What are you having?" he asked and looked at the menu displayed on a blackboard on the wall.

"Coffee and a slice of honey cake," you replied and took another spoonful of the desert. "It's really good."

Seungkwan's eyes reverted back to you when he heard you speak with your mouth full. He smiled softly. "I guess I'll get the same."

He went to the counter to order and you secretly watched him with your head lowered to your laptop. He was wearing a bomber jacket that clung to his torso from stuffing his hands so deep into its pockets that stretched the fabric forward.

That left room for anyone with eyes to see the way he was standing, in those washed jeans that hugged his body right around his hips and his round butt.

You almost gagged with a piece of almond from the cake and tore your eyes away from his body and pretended to preoccupy yourself with something on your laptop screen.

He returned some minutes earlier, thankfully the blush in your cheeks had gone away when he sat on the couch next to yours.

"It's been like... five years since I saw you last," he said, as he adjusted on the tight space between the couch and the coffee table where you had placed your laptop.

You pulled the coffee table to you, giving him more space for his long legs.

"Thanks," he muttered.

"No problem," you coughed awkwardly. "Yeah, it's been five years since I left town."

"I remember," he pointed. "It was quite the gossip. Not that I engaged in the conversation, but I was well informed."

He took a spoonful of honey cake to his mouth and his expression changed.

"As best as memory serves, I don't remember you and I being anything more than acquaintances," you quipped, but your tone was flat.

His gaze raised from his plate to find yours. "Well, I never found the courage to talk to you. You were kinda scary, you know."

Your breath coiled in your throat. "No I wasn't," you countered, but sounded really uncertain.

Seungkwan tilted his head to the side. "You really don't know, do you?" he blinked.

"Before you left, when we were younger, you were known as unapproachable, no one dared to talk to you," he sipped his iced coffee and pointed to the cake on his plate with his spoon. "This is really good."

You blinked at him feeling truly obfuscated. "I didn't know," you admitted. And it hurt to know so, since you always believed you were too uninteresting for him.

"In the boys' locker room, weekly stories were told about how you laughed at someone who tried to serenade you, or that other guy who sent you love letters and you corrected his spelling mistakes," he chuckled at that last bit.

You coughed up a laugh too. "That first dude had a terrible voice break, it was kind of hard not to laugh."

"Those were the kind of stories being told about you," he said. "I always thought they were a bit much. You seemed nice, quiet."

Your heart fluttered uneasily at the last words. "You think so?"

"Yeah, absolutely. Boys can be really mean when girls dare say no," he shrugged.

"I guess is a good thing I never knew what they said about me," you pointed with a flat smile. And then quickly changed the subject: "So, what is the plan here?"

Seungkwan raised his eyes as he sipped his coffee. "Plan?"

"When are you planning to sing? At the wedding reception, I mean," you mumbled awkwardly when he caught you looking at his mouth as he chew on some more honey cake.

You shifted in your seat and lifted your hands to tighten the scrunchie holding your hair in a ponytail as you waited.

He swallowed. "The plan was to do it before the banquet, or during if that's not possible," he said. "Or at least that's what your brother in law wants."

"'kay," you said and took a look to the itinerary you crafted. "It is a good idea to do it just before the dinner is served and then the toast."

"I'm assuming you weren't consulted about this," he deduced.

"Nope," you mumbled while you typed on your laptop.

"How does this work? They tell you what they want on their reception and you arrange it all? Or do they help around with a few things?"

"The first one," you replied flatly and ate the last piece of cake on your plate.

"And what do you have to do?" he inquired.

You sighed. "Everything pertaining to the reception, really. Food, flower arrangements, table decoration, the color scheme for everything, hiring services to all of this, and so on. But with all my sister wants to do on the reception, I need to have mostly everything scheduled."

"Sounds stressful," he mentioned.

You paused. "It is," you replied, feeling a bit surprised that he was the first one pointing that out. "I'm kind of liking it though."

"Do you like the stress?" he asked, settling his empty plate beside yours.

"No, god, no," you put in quickly. "The stressful part is dealing with so many requests with so little time, first she wants one thing, then she wants another."

"Maybe that's the best training for this type of job you can have," he said politely, and you understood that he didn't want to pry more into your life.

"Sorry, I was getting carried away," you muttered awkwardly.

He raised his doe eyes to yours. "Don't worry. I just didn't want to say something inappropriate."

"Like what?" you pressed.

He chewed his straw for a few seconds before saying: "Maybe she just wants to rough you up a little, you know, as payback kind of thing for your falling out."

"Oh, absolutely," you said with a chuckle. "But I can't really say anything."

"You should," he sent you a playful look.

You smirked back. "Maybe I should. It's just hard because it's family, and I have a lot to make up for. But enough about my family drama. Tell me about you."

Seungkwan seemed at a loss for words briefly.

"Did you get onto doing your acting career?" you asked, pretending to smooth out some hairs of your ponytail.

"You know about that?" he asked.

"I-, I mean yeah you were always pretty outspoken about it," you mumbled shyly.

"Yeah, I'm working for a theatre company now. And used to part time at a coffee shop until a few days ago," he said as his fingers toyed with the straw of his empty cup.

You realized in that moment that this was the longest you've ever engaged in conversation with him. And you were absolutely absorbed by his little mannerisms, the expression of his face, his little pout.

"Did you quit?"

"Yeah," he breathed and set the cup aside. "Was kind of sick of it. But now I'm hoping I get a role soon so I don't regret it."

"Oh, you'll sure find something," you blurted: "I always thought you were the best on school plays."

The corners of his mouth rose ever so slightly. "Thank you," he said softly. "I never saw you on the audiences."

"I had to be there, you know, for the extra points," you mumbled with a hint of uncertainty on your tone.

"Yeah, I know," he replied, his tone the same as yours.

You cleared your throat, trying to break the sudden tension and tightened your scrunchie.

His eye caught that.

You rose abruptly from your seat. "I'm getting a cookie, do you want something?"

His mouth fell open slightly. "I'm fine, thanks."

You approached the register and bought a chocolate chip cookie, and while you were waiting you glanced over your shoulder, trying to be inconspicuous.

Only to see Seungkwan tearing his gaze from you abruptly and got his phone out from his pocket. You smiled to yourself—for an actor, Seungkwan is pretty bad at pretending he wasn't totally checking you out.

"I think we should get going," you said as you were returning to your seat, and nodded to the staff starting to clean up and readying the place for closing.

The pavement outside the bakery was wet, and you slowly realized that it had rained while you were entranced in your conversation with Seungkwan.

He, in turn, didn't look as surprised as you. "Can I walk you home?"

You paused.

The idea of having Boo Seungkwan walk with you back home was tempting. And you weren't one to say no to something like that. Even though you spent the past hour with him, now you were completely alone.

"Sure, I'd like that."

You adjusted the strap of your laptop bag on your shoulder and walked towards up the street and onto the path that led to your parents' house.

The noise from paper unwrapping drew your attention to Seungkwan's pretty fingers as he took a cough drop to his mouth and noticed your curious eyes.

"Want one?" he offered with a cute smile.

You nodded with your head. "Thanks."

"You are welcome."

You sucked on the honey cough drop. "Do you consume these often?"

"They're more of a guilty pleasure of mine," he explained. "I used to get bad throat sores and found these. Got addicted."

You silently guessed that, in his line of work, Seungkwan's top priority is to condition his body to stay sharp and strong for the stage, and that included his voice too.

"So tell me," you mumbled when the silence got to you. "How did you end up being the musical number at my sister's wedding?"

You were walking through the park, which was the easiest way to your house by foot. It was quiet, except for the soft humming noise from the street lights.

"I had a debt to pay," he said.

Your eyebrows furrowed. "A debt? What do you mean?"

"Your brother in law helped me out of a tight spot once," he muttered softly into the cold air of the night. "I promised him that if he ever needed something, I'd be there."

Your mouth parted in a tiny 'o', wondering what would be the situation your brother in law helped him out of. "So he cashed in that for the wedding?"

He nodded. "Yep. He called me up last week, told me about the song and wanted me to sing it. Also invited me to the wedding, and that's how I got here."

"You'll be at the wedding too," you blurted. "They never tell me these things."

Seungkwan was holding back a playful smile by pushing the inside of his cheek with his tongue. "You don't want me to go?"

He lightly bumped his shoulder into yours and you swear you felt your whole body arouse with a jolt.

"No, no, I do, I mean, you're their guest not mine but, I should know where to sit you," you blurted nervously and pulled your phone from your pocket. "Do you have a plus one?"

"No," he replied shyly. "Did you really not know I would get an invite?"

You scanned the table and guest arrangements and sighed. "No one told me. I guess... I'll sit you on my table."

"You don't have a plus one?" he asked slowly.

You raised your eyes from the phone screen. "Um, no. I don't."

"Huh," he breathed lightly.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Where you hoping I did?" you frowned slightly.

"I was kind of hoping you didn't," he replied firmly.

You were both standing on the sidewalk across the street from your house. Seungkwan's eyes read your face silently, awaiting your reply with a smile that slowly rose on his face, as if he enjoyed seeing you stutter, searching for words.

"Why?"

"I want to catch up with you," he replied slowly, his doe eyes triangulated to your lips, then to each of your eyes. "Get closer to you."

"I thought I was 'unapproachable'," you quipped, but your tone sounded breathless and jittery.

"That was when we were kids," he tilted his head to the side.

"What if I haven't changed that much?" you breathed, realizing that Seungkwan had taken a step closer to where you stood.

"Well, time has a funny way of changing things," he said, holding his gaze on you. "It has changed one thing."

"What's that?" you breathed.

Seungkwan was so close that you could see the faint scar on his cheek under the dim streetlights. Your breath hitched almost bashfully when you came to the realization that your old childhood crush might still be so.

"That I finally dare to approach you," he mumbled.

Your breath faltered for a second, and an intense warmth spread across your face.

Then, you felt his fingers pinch your chin ever so slightly.

"You had a cookie crumb," he explained, rubbing his fingers together.

You blinked confusedly, processing his unexpected words. Then when you finally realized it, your hand flew to your mouth to pick up any trace of crumbs.

He smiled softly. "Well, we're here," he nodded to your parents' house.

Light-headed, you turned to see the porch and noticed a large package on the doorstep. "Oh, the flower vases got delivered," you noted with a little jump and crossed the street.

You inspected the large box first, and when you were sure it was the pack of flower vases you ordered you attempted to lift it off the ground.

Only to find out that it was really heavy.

"Need help with that?" he asked, looking at you with an amused expression on his face.

"Um, yeah, please," you said, stepping away from the box.

Seungkwan lifted the box with little to no effort, adjusting it once in his arms.

You guided him to your temporary bedroom, which was the study on the first floor of your parents house. It had no bed, since you were sleeping on a makeshift bed on the floor, surrounded by clutter from your unfinished tasks.

Flicking the lightswitch, you showed him where he could lower the heavy box. "Excuse the mess," you mumbled shyly.

"What mess? I don't see any," he said with a grin.

You scoffed. "Shut up," you rolled your eyes. "Thank you."

"For what?" he asked quietly, his gaze trained on you again.

"Helping me carry this," you said, and cleared your throat.

"Anything to help," he shrugged slightly.

"People pleaser," you joked with the ghost of a grin.

Seungkwan shook his head slightly. "No, not people. Just you."

The room stilled.

Seungkwan's big brown eyes were shifty, went from your eyes, to your lips and then to your neck when you held in a breath lightly. Then you noticed that his movements were calculated, almost as if he didn't want to make the wrong move, as if that would break the quietness of the moment.

Then, you were the one to make a move.

His lips were soft against yours, when you pressed against them tentatively, shyly. You gave one small peck and then stepped back but not fully, you were sure you didn't even blink but when you raised your eyes to see him again, he had closed his.

It was sudden, his arm encircled your back and brought you close to him, your chest flush against his. He leaned in his head to yours, and you closed your eyes, feeling his lips pressed on yours again, longer this time.

You heard the softest of sighs come from his mouth, his sweet honeyed breath land on your skin. And then again, his lips touched yours with a gentle peck.

"Kiss me properly," he said softly, but his request was firm, challenging.

You stammered, but didn't have time to talk.

His free hand was already on your chin, were two of his fingers held you gently, angling your face so his lips locked with yours.

Then it was the wetness, the warmth. The sweetness of it all when you parted your lips for his feathery kiss that ended too soon.

"God, I've been wanting to do that for so long," he whispered, not releasing his hold, not stepping back to see you.

Your heart skipped a beat.

"Se-seungkwan," you whispered back. "My parents are upstairs."

"I know," he replied quietly and then frowned.

You were breathing softly on his face, trying with all your might not to hyperventilate. The silence so deafening that it made your bones still, you were pretty sure that Seungkwan was trying not to break the silence too.

"We can keep it quiet," you said, your eyes shifting to his.

Seungkwan stifled a smile. "What are you suggesting?"

Your mouth parted and you were about to say something truly indecent. You must be losing your mind, something inside you said.

"Keep kissing me," you finally replied, pulling your head to see his face again. "Please."

His expressive eyes smiled softly, his hand still on your chin holding you gently before dipping his head to meet your lips with his in a sweet, wet kiss. Your lips parted for him and you were already holding back a moan the way it set your whole body ablaze, desperately craving for more.

When you finally found some will to command your body, your hands made their way to the back of his neck and you felt his soft brown hair, one hand on his nape and the other on cupped his cheek, feeling with your fingers his soft skin, the cut of his jawline.

His hand on your chin moved to your waist, clutching you before the one circling your back pressed you tighter against him. He landed a small peck on your lips before starting a trail of kisses on the apple of your cheek.

"Are you going to be quiet?" he asked softly on your ear.

"Y-yeah," you replied quickly with a whisper. "Why?"

"Can I kiss your neck?" he asked tentatively, his hand left your waist and cupped your face.

Flustered to the point of insanity, you nodded with your head eagerly.

There was no smiles, no hint of mockery in his eyes, he seemed determined in what he wanted.

And he wanted you.

"If you make a single noise, we stop," he conditioned, leaning his head forward to lock his doe eyes with yours.

"'kay," you breathed, your whole body tingling with anticipation.

He was only about to kiss your neck, but he must've read how touch starved you actually were.

Because when he leaned in, your head was already tilting to the side for him. The hand cupping your cheek held you angled for him and you felt your skin prickle the second his lips reached the soft skin under the lobe of your ear.

Your mouth parted involuntarily, releasing a brief sigh. Eyelids fluttering as his lips trailed down on the crook of your neck. Your hands found support on his shoulders, fingers curling on the fabric of his jacket.

Somehow the hand that was pressed flatly on your lower back had travelled down ever so slightly, one of his fingertips landed below the hem of your sweater and found your bare skin. The contact was so minimal, but it still had your brain losing all focus to the sensation of his skin against yours like that.

His wet kisses went down all the crook of your neck, to were the neckline of your sweater didn't allow him to proceed any further so he went back to kiss your lips.

Your bodies had already started to speak to each other, because you moved your head back upright and received his slow, passionate kiss eagerly.

But then he was the one to draw back first, he pulled his head back, looking at your eyes with a dark calmness that you slowly realized it was lust.

"We have to stop," he declared.

But he didn't attempt to move away, didn't tear his hands off of your body, not even his gaze from yours. Almost as if he were waiting for you.

"Please don't," you replied, reading his face. "I don't want to stop."

"Your parents are upstairs," he insisted so quietly that you were sure no one but you heard him.

"We can be quiet," you suggested with an innocent tone.

The corners of his mouth rose ever so slightly. "You know we're never gonna live this down if we get caught like this."

You moved your hands down from his shoulders to the middle of his chest, where you could feel his heartbeat thumping frantically.

"We better not get caught then," you breathed, darting a look up his big doe eyes.

His mouth parted slightly as his eyes read your face with disbelief.

Then he reached out to the wall behind you, then you heard the soft click of the lightswitch and the lights went out.

Your heart lurched in a mixture of anticipation and excitement. Feeling like a teenager doing something prohibited, as if danger loomed in the air but you were all too drawn to it.

"Can I take this off?" he asked softly, the hand on your lower back grabbed your sweater with his fingers.

"Yes," you sighed. "Please."

You finally broke away from his body but only to help him take your sweater off, exposing your torso in the dimness of the room. The only source of light now came from the translucent curtains that let the moonlight filtrate through.

Seungkwan seemed torn between looking at your eyes and your tits, still covered by the pretty floral bra you wore.

"God, this is insane," he breathed with a sigh, appearing to be letting go of what little control he had. "Come here."

His arms circled your back and he was again on your lips, kissing you fiercely now. His tongue swiped a line on your lower lip, demanding access to your mouth which you gave willingly with a soft breath, his hand pressed on your back gently.

Seungkwan stepped forward, his arms unwrapping your body so his hands could clutch your bare waist, the movement of his body pushed you back, making you stagger backwards and onto the desk.

"You're gonna be quiet, right pretty?" he asked softly as his hand travelled up the line of your back to unclasp your bra blindly.

You nodded silently and your hands moved to strip him of his navy blue jacket.

He successfully removed the straps of your bra from your shoulders, uncovering your tits fully for his view.

"Fuck, you're so hot," he sighed through a small smile.

His hands rested on the desk behind you, each on the sides of your body. You took his hands and guided them on your tits and you bit your lip hard the second you felt his touch on you.

You looked down where his pretty hands started kneading your breasts, a moan coiling on your throat when he used his thumbs to press on your nipples and them around before dipping his head to kiss you again chastely on your lips.

His hands stopped kneading and teasing your tits and you felt them again, tugging the button of your pants lose.

"You must be so tired from all the work you're being put through," he pushed his forehead against yours before giving you another feathery kiss on your lips. "I want to make you feel good," he whispered. "Let me."

You nodded, afraid of what the sound of your voice would be.

His fingers hooked on the hem of your pants, dragging them down and you kicked them aside on the floor. His lips returned to yours to give you hot, wet kisses as his hands cupped your ass, making you nearly moan in his mouth.

Your hands clenched on the shoulders of his t-shirt when his hands squeezed your ass. He wasn't harsh, nor gentle. It was a generous squeeze, much as if he'd been wanting to do that for a while now.

Seungkwan was completely dressed, whereas you only wore the panties that would soon be his next target. But he stopped kissing you on your lips, lading a soft peck on the corner of your mouth before saying.

"I want to taste you," he whispered, pushing the tip of his nose to yours gently. "Can I?"

"Yes, please, Kwannie," you breathed, nodding with your head.

The ghost of a smile adorned his face. "Be quiet, pretty."

You wondered how he would do it, if you had to sit on the desk behind you or lie down on the floor for him.

But Seungkwan got on his knees before you, making your heart lurch when he lifted his lust-filled eyes to yours and he bit his lower lip gently with a sigh.

God, he's so hot. You thought in that moment.

His pretty fingers hooked on the band of your panties to bring them down to your ankles and you stepped out of them, for him to toss them aside with your jeans.

Then he motioned your leg up with one hand, which he placed on his shoulder. You gripped the desk behind you when his lips touched your thigh, a shudder invading you almost violently as he made a trail to your mound.

You let your eyes close when his lips reached your mound, pressing softly on your sensitive and needy skin. The hand holding your leg on his shoulder helped angling your thigh so he could have more access to your pussy.

Your head dropped back, losing all grip on sanity when his tongue swiped a line between your pussy lips, tasting you fully. The hand that wasn't on your thigh clutched your hip gently before pushing you to the desk.

With some clumsiness, you understood that Seungkwan was motioning you to sit on top of the desk behind you and you did, splaying your legs open for him.

Then his mouth was back on your cunt, his tongue gave a generous stroke between your folds, tasting you with a soft sigh that you felt on your skin. Licking with his tongue at the sweet taste of your arousal to then glide from your folds to your clit.

He teased your clit with the pointed tip of his tongue, flicking at it a few times, to then swirl around it in figure eight motions and stuck to that when he felt your muscles clench, your legs tensing up around his head.

Your breath hitched when you saw him wrap his mouth around your clit, your hand snapping to the side of his head, when he started to suck and tease your swollen bud with his tongue, your fingers tangling with the soft locks of his brown hair.

The tension was too much, the need to scream out had you clamping your mouth shut with your hand, coming undone suddenly, almost brutally on his mouth, your hand clenching on his hair, body trembling on the desk erratically.

Seungkwan kissed your mound, your thighs and grazed them with his teeth tenderly as you came down from your high. Your fingers brushed his hair back gently as he did so, darting a look at you that made your walls flutter.

Your hand fell at your side when he got to his feet cleaning the corners of his mouth with his thumb.

"You're okay, pretty?" he asked, pressing his lips on yours.

"Amazing," you breathed and blinked slowly.

He smirked and pressed his lips on your forehead. "I have to get going now," he whispered.

"Bu-but what about you?" you whined, your voice no more than a whisper.

"I'm alright," he said, shaking his head lightly.

Your hand sneaked on his pants, finding the bulge of his hard cock. "Sure you don't want help with that?"

A low moan coiled in his throat and he pushed his forehead on yours. "I don't want you to get in trouble," he breathed. "Besides, I don't have a condom."

"We're not getting in trouble," you insisted with an innocent smile. "And I'm on birth control, Kwannie. Please?"

He stilled for a second. Torn between saying no and considering your insane proposition. The stillness in his house hadn't been disrupted yet, but the danger still loomed on you, like a sentient being waiting to get its claws on you both.

You leaned in to kiss him, but he backed away slightly, making you chase his lips teasingly.

"Sure you want to do this?" he asked, his fingers grazing your chin softly.

"I'm sure," you breathed on his lips. "I want you."

Gently, his lips locked on yours and you tasted yourself on his tongue when it met with yours. Your hand travelled from the middle of his chest down his abdomen, where you felt his muscles clench slightly at your touch.

"How bad do you want me?" he asked, leaning towards you on the desk.

"So bad," you whispered. "I need you. I really need to feel you, Kwannie."

His eyes fell to your lips and then travelled back up. "I like you calling me that, baby."

A shiver travelled down your spine and it might have been noticeable because Seungkwan smiled before kissing you softly to muffle the sounds your mouth would make when his fingers found your mound, trailing a light line down and between your pussy lips.

"Seungkwan, w-what–," you breathed when his two middle fingers dipped in your wet cunt, slowly sinking inside your tight gummy walls.

"Shh, I have to get you ready for me, baby," he explained.

The sight of his hand in between your legs almost had you whimpering, his fingers pulling out only to sink back inside. You bit your lip when his long digits curled inside your walls, stretching them open expertly.

His mouth parted a little, searching the sweet spot that would make you flinch, his eyes trained on your face. "Do you like this, pretty?" he whispered after seeing the telling expression on your face.

You nodded and gulped hard.

"There?" he breathed.

You nodded again, clenching your teeth.

The corner of his mouth stretched in a small grin. "You're so beautiful," he sighed. "I want you to see you cum, can you do that?"

You closed your eyes and nodded yet again and relaxed your body, focusing on your sweet release.

"Let go, then," he whispered. "I want to feel your pretty pussy squeezing my fingers."

Your hand found his shoulder to hold onto as you came again, your walls cramping around his long fingers erratically, and then, you exhaled softly through your nose, your eyes closed so tight that you started to see colors.

"Juuust like that," he breathed. "That's right, it feels good, don't it?"

You weakly opened your eyes to find his mesmerized face, his lips stretching slowly in a satisfied smile. A shudder invaded you when he pulled his fingers out.

"Open up," he whispered, bringing up his fingers to your mouth.

You opened your mouth took his fingers in, licking them clean of your arousal as you locked eyes with him. A fascinated look took on the features of his face when he withdrew his fingers from your lips with a soft smacking sound.

"Fuck," he breathed, leaning to kiss you chastely on your lips. "You're so hot, you have no idea."

You smiled on his lips as you tried to the best of your ability to undress him, starting with his t-shirt.

"I can't–," he whispered and then refrained. "Just the t-shirt, okay? In case I need to run."

You laughed silently. "Okay, mister," you replied impishly and took his t-shirt off. Revealing his lean torso, his beautiful skin.

With will on their own, your fingers travelled on the soft lines that marked his abdomen and stopped to undo the button of his jeans. You dragged his pants and briefs down slightly, only to get a glimpse of the soft v line. You swallowed thickly as your hand pushed the stretchy fabric of his briefs further down, revealing his fully hard cock.

You darted a quick look up his eyes, which were trained on your face already. "It's big," you breathed and shook your head slightly. "You're big."

Seungkwan tilted his head to the side a bit. "It's not that big, I think it's average."

The girth of his cock could fit properly in your hand when you grabbed it to pump it a few times, caressing the soft and veiny skin of his shaft up his pinkish cockhead, where the palm of your hand got smeared with the precum gathering on his slit.

He stifled a laugh when you sent him a doubtful look. "You're thinking it won't fit, or why are you looking at me like that?" he whispered gruffly, grazing his lips with yours.

"I know it won't," you replied in between his delicate kisses.

"Mm, I don't know, you might be exaggerating," he purred playfully. "Or maybe you're trying to back out. Which is just fine, baby. If that's what you want."

"No, I'm not backing out," you breathed, feeling challenged now.

Seungkwan laughed so softly that it made your insides churn. "Don't worry, I got you," he replied in the same manner as you. "You can ask me to stop if it's too much."

"Seungkwan," you breathed impatiently.

"Mm?"

"Just fuck me," you replied, the hands that rested on his sides travelled down his lower back and cupped his round butt, pulling him closer to your spread legs.

Seungkwan moved one hand to grab your hip, while the other guided his cock, only to tease you some more with a satisfied grin on his face when he glided his cockhead down your folds. You squirmed silently, darting a look down between your legs and back up to his eyes.

The hand on your hip tightened his grip slightly when he nudged his bulbous head in your wet entrance. Your breath hitched and Seungkwan instantly crushed his mouth on yours, muffling a whimpering noise as his thick cock started pushing in your walls with one slow thrust.

You felt your muscles go rigid from the slight twinge of the stretch. Holding onto him, your hands still firmly parked on his butt and only switched one of them to his back when he dragged his cock back and pushed it back in to his hilt.

"God," he breathed in your mouth. "You feel good."

You wished you could reply that he also felt good. In fact, it was the best you felt in a while. The warmth, the softness of his touch and the sweetness of his words.

Also the way his body seemed to fit perfectly with yours. His hands adjusted you to the edge of the desk and held you there for him to angle your legs wider as his hips connected fully with yours, stuffing his cock to the hilt inside you with a soft sigh.

He started thrusting slowly, as if he wanted you to first adjust to the size of him, his eyes trained on you to gather every single expression that your face made.

"Is this okay?" he asked when he pushed his hips flush against yours, his cock hitting deeper.

"Fuck, yes," you breathed. "Right there, please, please."

Seungkwan smiled softly, the tip of his tongue sliding on his lower lip in an expression of focus. His hands holding you in place started kneading your flesh, as if he were containing a desperate need to fuck you faster.

"Fuck, honey. You're not getting away with this," he said with a strain to his low voice. "We're gonna have to repeat this. In a place where I can fuck you hard, and you can be as loud as you want."

You muffled a whimper biting your lower lip and nodded with your head excitedly.

He smirked and one eyebrow quirked up. "You want that, pretty?"

"Yes," you breathed lewdly. "Yes, Kwannie."

He gave you a satisfied smile and your heart jumped wildy in your chest.

You released a sigh through clenched teeth as he fucked you with a steady pace, his eyes shifting between your eyes and lips, then to your naked body and you could notice the lust in his heavy-lidded eyes.

"I bet you are really stressed out from taking on so much pressure, baby," he moaned softly on your lips in between kisses. "Let me take some of that stress off."

Your breath hitched and you felt your walls flutter around his cock under the effect of his words. And you wondered for a second if he knew that you were loving it.

But you were too consumed by the need to moan, so you hid your face against the warm crook of his neck and nibbled with your teeth on his soft skin, trying not to scream out in pleasure.

At that, his hips stuttered. "Fuck," he muttered softly.

A hand grabbed you by your ponytail and yanked you from his neck as his thrusts picked up the pace, but still weren't as fast as you needed them, and he probably wasn't going faster to avoid making noise.

A moan bubbled in your mouth, unable to utter anything because your neck was stirred to the point that you couldn't even swallow properly.

"Behave," he stressed. "Can't be doing that tonight, pretty."

You were unable to even muster a simple nod. So you swallowed thickly and your hands moved to his shoulders, completely subdued by his deep slow thrusts, his hand clutching your hip, the other immobilizing you by your hair.

He dipped his head, taking the advantage of your craned neck to pepper it with tender kisses, his lips trailing from underneath your jaw to your throat, as he thrusted slowly inside you.

A thought crossed your mind—what would the scene look like. Completely dark, dead quiet. You wholly naked and sitting on top of the desk, legs open wide for Seungkwan, who was fucking you hard and deep, each thrust paced slowly, much as if he didn't want to rush it.

Seungkwan let go of your ponytail gently, his hand travelling down to cup your cheek. "Feeling good?" he asked with a strained whisper.

"Perfect," you replied. "You feel so good."

He nodded and locked his lips with yours, to then begin a trail of kisses to your cheek and stopped in your ear.

"I'm close," he whispered. "Do you want me to pull out?"

"No, no, please," you replied in the same manner. "Can you do it inside of me?"

"Sure, pretty?" he kissed the lobe of your ear when you nodded desperately. "But I want you to cum one more time for me."

"I don't think I can, Kwannie," you breathed.

"Yes you can," he countered. "You've been so good for me, honey. I know you can do it again."

Your jaw trembled slightly. "Kwannie..."

"Do you want me to help you?" he asked softly, sneaking a hand where your bodies joined.

And then you felt the pad of his thumb pressing on your clit, as he started rubbing gently in circles.

Your hands held onto his shoulders tightly as your body started to shake and convulse on the desk, tension building up your body, making your teeth clench and your breath hitch.

"That's right baby, see?" he whispered. "I told you you could do it."

You arched your back, head hanged back as you were consumed by your third orgasm, falling deep in a haze of lust and fascination over the man fucking you so good that almost made you forget your own name, forget where you were.

He rode your high until he was certain that you came down, when you lifted your head and opened your eyes to see him. That's when he removed his hand from your mound and took your hips with both, only to hold you firmly in place.

"Fuck, honey," he breathed, shuddering slightly. "I'm there."

Then he started plunging his cock deeper with slow thrusts, making his head bump once with yours and you cupped the back of his head, and he pressed his forehead to yours.

"I'm cumming," he whispered and his swollen lips parted, his breath quivered slightly before he made himself stop breathing to not make a noise.

His hips slammed sloppily against yours and thanks to the position your bodies where in, you felt him come. You felt his cock throbbing inside your walls, spilling his cum deep inside you. And the telling look on Seungkwan's face, his eyelids fluttering, the tip of his tongue hanging slightly over the corner of his lips.

You encircled your arms around his neck when his thrusts ceased, the hands that held onto your hips clenched and relaxed repeatedly, as if he were trying to regain focus.

"Are you okay?" he whispered.

You nodded.

He released a shaky breath. "I'm pulling out, ready?"

You looked down as his hips retracted from yours, pulling out his cock, fully wet with his and your cum. A shudder shook your bones and you had to suppress a sigh of pleasure.

Seungkwan fixed his pants swiftly, but his hands returned to your thighs to give them a squeeze. "I have to go," he said reluctantly, and he paused. "I want you to have a warm shower and go straight to bed, okay?"

You stifled a laugh. "Okay, mister."

"I'm serious," he leaned in to give you a delicate kiss on your lips. "No more working for tonight."

In that moment, you were swept by a strange feeling, akin to being understood and seen. However, instead of it offering you some clarity, it left you deeply enthralled and craving for more.

"Okay," you replied.

Seungkwan appeared to be considering something for a long second, his face broke into a shy smile before saying: "Can I have your number?"

✾ a/n: hi hi hi there!! first of all, i want to thank the nonnie who requested a seungkwan fic, i hope you know you haven't left my noggin since that day, and i hope you liked this! (づ˶•༝•˶)づ♡

i tried to get this out by seungkwan's 26 bday, so i sincerely apologize if there's any embarrassing mistakes or continuity errors, please ignore them 🥺

if you liked this, please let me know? i'd appreciate a reblog, a comment, like, my ask box is always open, don't be shy!

thanks again to 🍊— nonnie! i hope you're doing fine and that you liked this! hehe ♡︎

→ also thanks to @cvntrlseecvntrlvee who kept my seungkwan brainrot alive with seungkwan thirst edits 👀

I ALSO WANT TO TELL YOU THAT I AM SO SO EXCITED TO READ THIS SERIES! i've literally started outlining when nonnie suggested a seungkwan fic and have had so much fun planning and writing!!

k, that's it. happy belated boo day! 🍊

toodles

© RIGHTS RESERVED TO HANNIEWEEN I DO NOT ALLOW TRANSLATIONS, CONTINUATIONS, REIMAGINATIONS OF MY WORKS OR THEIR REPOSTING ON OTHER WEBSITES.

dokyeom staying with you for the weekend. he opens the brightest smile when you wake up saturday morning next to him, softly calling your name and throwing his phone - that he was scrolling through - away just to wrap an arm around your hip. "are you hungry? should we eat?", he asks you.

for the whole weekend he's attached to you by the hip, watching tv, eating junk food, eventually kissing you when he feels like it - healing everything he came in touch with, like the sunshine that he is.

"thanks for being with me", you say. dokyeom smiles, caressing your hair. "of course, love. where else could i be?".

STAY NEXT TO YOU ; haechan gets off work early to take care of you

s_fw, wc1241. sick!reader (plot point) who wears glasses (not a plot point); pregnancy mentioned jokingly

an: self indulgent at best lol. includes a little bonus post nap fluff

“Babe?”

Haechan’s voice is soft from the doorway, careful and curious as it hangs in the air before the sound of his slippers across the floor follows. You hum quietly in response, cuddled up in one of his sweatshirts and under a few too many blankets. You're surprised that he’s home, and under any other circumstance you’re certain you’d feel butterflies over the fact that he’s returned early for you, but a wave of pain hits as he climbs into bed, washing nausea over you in a way that leaves you crying (softly, because it hurts to even do that, as ridiculous as it all is).

He tutts in reply, making a sympathetic sound as he fits himself around the little ball you’ve made of yourself. “What can I do, hmm?”

“My face hurts.”

“…your face?”

“Mmhm. My cheek and jaw and chin. Sometimes so bad I feel nauseous.”

“You feel nauseous right now?”

“‘m just barely resisting the urge to cry.”

“You aren’t like…with little Haechan, are you?”

You weakly attempt to get out of his hold, muttering about how annoying he is. He laughs, nuzzling into your shoulder as he cuddles closer to you, body weighing into yours comfortingly to get you to relax again.

“I’m only partially kidding.”

“Go back to work.”

“Ok, ok, babe,” he soothes you, a smile in his voice. “What did you take?”

“Migraine medication.”

Haechan hums softly but says nothing as he continues to lay with you, his warmth seeping through the layers of fabric between you all. It leaves you feeling a little too hot and causes you to free your hands from your cocoon in an attempt to cool down a little…which works well enough before he realizes your hands are free and decides to steal one to lace his fingers through yours. 

“Teeth feel numb…I think if I stuff my cheek with something it might feel better.”

“Ok…that isn’t how that works,” he tells you, the tone of his voice measured in a way that tells you he’s trying to be both supportive and realistic. It causes you to smile as he gives you a reassuring squeeze. “Did you call the doctor?”

“Yeah. I had a telehealth and she told me to come in tomorrow. Since it’s been a few days.”

He hums thoughtfully before pulling away. Every little sound of pain you make draws a sympathetic one from him as he does god-knows-what around the room. You’ve nearly whimpered yourself to sleep by the time you feel him gently rousing you, fingers oddly cold when they meet bits of your bare skin. 

“Come on, my love…your blood is just pooling in your head. Lay on me and you’ll feel a little better…”

You groan as you sit up, frowning at him even as you realize he’s changed into his house clothes and propped a number of pillows up against the headboard to support the both of you. He opens an arm to you, the expression on his face telling you he knows you want to join him until your brow furrows.

He huffs out a laugh. “Be nice to me,” he tells you, fingers wiggling cutely to get you to join him. “Please, please, please? I’ll get you whatever you want for dinner later.”

“Whatever I want?”

His smile is too amused and teasing. “As long as it won’t upset you- ah, don’t pout again. I’m looking out for my girl.”

You curl up next to him, allowing him to adjust the blankets before you rest your head on his chest. His arm is heavy around your waist, hand sneaking under your shirt to settle hot against your skin as you sink into each other.

“I have one of your masks from the fridge, if you want it.”

Despite yourself, you whimper in overwhelm. He’s left work early and gotten familiar enough with your migraines to know you shouldn’t be laying flat on the bed. You’ve been together long enough for it to be normal but being sick makes you a little more emotionally vulnerable than normal and emotionally vulnerable you is well aware of the fact that loving and being loved is precious. That being cared for by someone who has decided you’re worth it is invaluable.

And he’s grabbed a stupid little mask from the fridge to top it all off.

“I got the blue one,” he tells you, because he knows it’s your favorite despite being no different from the others aside from in color. You pay around blindly for it and he laughs before placing it in your hand.

“Thanks, ‘ie,” you murmur, sighing contentedly when you feel him gently rest his cheek on your head.

“‘course, baby,” he murmurs as you hold the mask to the side of your face instead of putting it on. “Want me to hold your face for you?”

You half laugh, nuzzling into him as you say, “No. Just hold me for a little while.”

“As long as you want…”

.

.

It’s a few hours later when you wake up, still cradled against Haechan’s chest. You feel worse now, the effects of your migraine medication having worn off, and you aren’t sure if he knows you’re awake but he continues to rub your back soothingly regardless. He’s even still making little comforting sounds in response to your whimpers, and the realization makes you feel momentarily dizzier because your boyfriend is almost too sweet for words sometimes.

“Whatcha lookin’ at?” You ask after a few minutes of half watching him scroll his phone. 

He laughs. “I forgot you can’t see shit without your glasses.”

“You enjoy being cruel toward your poor, sick girlfriend, huh?”

“She likes it,” he tells you, a little too smug. “Reddit.”

“Weirdo.”

“Mmhm. Between the porn and the cheat codes I learn quite a bit about migraines and (one of your hobbies).”

“That so?”

“Among other things,” he smiles, tilting his head to kiss your forehead. “Feeling better?”

“Worse. I think ’s time for another dose…I could eat something, too.”

“It’d be faster if I go and get [your fav] than it would be for it to be delivered.”

“Ok. I’ll go with you.”

His lips brush your forehead again as he pockets his phone. “You don’t have to. Stay and rest.”

You pull away from him, eyes searching his face for a moment before you admit, “I want to stay next to you.”

It causes him to grin bashfully before gently pinching the check that doesn’t hurt. “So cute and baby when you’re sick, my love. Makes me want to-”

“Keep me sick?” You ask with a frown, watching as he leans over and sorts through the collection of pill bottles you have on the bedside table to find your migraine medication.

He offers you a pill and your canteen as he shakes his head. “No. Makes me want to tuck you in my pocket.”

You pop the pill and chug some water. “‘m too big.”

“Sad, but true,” He pushes the blankets off the pair of you before getting up out of bed and looking at you expectantly. “But, I want to stay next  to you too, little bug-”

“Rude-”

“-so come on.” He steadies you as you get out of bed, smiling down at you once he’s sure you won’t fall. His lips brush the corner of your mouth in a tender kiss as he busies himself with righting your clothes. “I won’t stop you, my love.”

*‘ie is just E. she just didn’t say haechannie or hyuckie

OMGGGG🥹🥹🥹 v you’ve got to be the sweetest soul omg, i hope you like wave to earth!!

im so EXCITEDDDD to read this tmrw in the warmth of my bed. I CAN ALREADY TELL THIS IS GOING TO BE GOOOOOOOD😫😫

chocolate | guilty pleasures series | b.sk

When you first kissed your childhood crush Boo Seungkwan, you didn't stop to consider all the implications... like him liking you back.

✾ pairings: boo seungkwan x female reader ✾ genre: fluff, smut (18+) ✾ au: theatre performer seungkwan, childhood crush to lovers ✾ word count: 14.3k

☁️ — this chapter goes out for @heavensclqud ty for recommending me wave to earth's music! ty lovely ♡

→ part i – other fics

🎧: hype boy – new jeans | peaches – kai | bad – wave to earth

› nsfw tags under the cut

✾ warnings: mentions of food, reader has a lowkey toxic family, idiot!yn is back, smut with plot, reader is on birth control, dom seungkwan, big dick seungkwan, seungkwan is kind of a simp and clingy, reader is needy af, hand kink, praise kink, exhibitionism: car sex, groping, sex in semi-public spaces; unprotected p in v sex, creampies, pet names: honey, pretty, baby (hers)

✾ a/n: the pov switches from reader to seungkwan twice and only for a small amount of paragraphs. MOST OF THESE SCENES ARE BARELY PROOFREAD/EDITED i'm sowwy

✾ a/n.2: drinking challenge! take a shot of tequila every time seungkwan's hands and fingers are mentioned (for legal reasons this is a joke, please don't do it you'll die) 💀

✾ disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers only. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.

part ii — chocolate

On the following morning, you woke up in the individual mattress on the floor, bundled up in blankets and pillows. In the days you've been staying with your parents, you haven't woken up in this manner, peacefully rested, eager for the day and well, blissfully sore. 

You let out a breath, feeling half ashamed, half content over the events that took part the night before. In that room, on the desk, with your childhood crush... who might still be your crush.

Might be? 

You let out a groan that was muffled by your pillow before reaching out for your phone and checking if you had gotten any messages yet. That which you hadn't.

Not knowing what kind of outcome to expect from last night's event, you decided to try and shove it to the back of your mind and not think about Seungkwan. And to achieve this, you decided to go to the park for a run.

There was something that you were certain was an outcome from what happened the night before, and that was your surprising change of mood. You felt eager to see what your day would have in store for you. 

And that also led you to go outdoors and try to the best of your ability to go for a jog without thinking about what happened last night. 

Why?

It happened so sudden and unexpectedly that you were afraid to have ruined your chances with Boo Seungkwan.

You got off the bus you took to the park and, as you walked across the parking lot, you suddenly realized that the weather was not going to cooperate with your plans for today.

The sky was bleak and there were no patches of clear blue sky in sight. At the horizon, where you could see the sea beyond the cliffs, you could notice the cloud's down pouring into the ocean. Which was usually not a good sign. 

It was a couple of nights before your little sister's big day. So tonight what you had planned was a dinner, an icebreaker for the groom and the bride's family and guests to get to know each other before marrying the families together.

And the dinner was set to be outdoors, so you feared that it might have been a bad idea to make reservations in a restaurant by the sea, given the weather conditions. 

Why would someone plan their wedding in the worst season of the year? A passing thought, you shook your head slightly as you made your way to the jogging track of the park, which was shaded by the trees. So suffice to say, it was dark. 

As the track took you deeper into the park and into the trees, your breath started catching up. Despite the bitter coldness in the air, you could feel tiny droplets of sweat run down from your nape and down your spine, making you shiver a bit.  

Nearly forty minutes had passed and you started to feel the fatigue creeping up in your muscles again and you decided to slow down for a bit, and walk off to the drinking fountains lined up next to the basketball courts.  

If it were up to you, you would've made reservations on a different location, or planned your wedding considering the weather conditions, or perhaps, just perhaps not getting married at all—

"Nice one, Boo Seungkwan!" you heard someone call loudly before a few sounds of hands clashing together also filled your ears. 

Your stomach dropped, the overwhelming feeling almost made you stumble and fall over in the running tracks. Though you weren't going fast, you could still make a scene if you suddenly fell on your face. 

However, you still turned your gaze towards the concrete basketball court. Boo Seungkwan was smiling tiredly, high-fiving the guys that were around him seemingly finishing a friendly 3x3 basketball game. 

Seungkwan wasn't aware that you had slowed down in the tracks to see him, but that was totally fine with you, since you weren't sure of how to go about the events of the night before. 

In truth, you could still feel him. Obviously you were conscious that it was merely a thing coming from your mind. In the sense that, your body craved for the sensation of being touched and cared for by him. And from the moment you saw him, your body responded with a shudder, your heart leaped and your breath hitched dramatically.

Oh, no.

And it obviously didn't help that he was covered in a layer of sweat, making the bangs of his chocolate brown hair stick to his forehead and to the sides of his face. His lips were swollen and pink, you noticed as his tongue came out to wet them. 

You had stopped running altogether, determined to get his attention now. But then he turned back to the bleachers, stretched his arms overhead and then rested one foot on the first step and then pushed his hips forward to stretch his quads one after the other.

He wore blue gym shorts, a white t-shirt and white sneakers. Somebody passing behind him said something that made him laugh out loud and then he turned, just as he threw the shoulder strap of his blue duffel bag. 

Then his pretty pouty lips dropped in a tiny 'o' and his hand lifted to wave at you, a small smile lifting the corners of his lips. 

Your heart flipped again but you quickly returned the gesture, twiddling your fingers at him with a smile of your own. 

Boo Seungkwan quickly turned to his friends and said goodbye to them, only to sprint across the basketball courts all the way to where you still stood.  

Suddenly, your mind was flooded with all kinds of thoughts, ranging from what the hell were you supposed to say after the nights prior to telling him just how much you still liked him. 

But in reality, you didn't know just what to say exactly. Or how to act, even. 

Why couldn't you just keep running? 

"Hi there," you chirped, thinking it was a solid way to start this conversation. 

"Hi," he exhaled and stopped his sprint just in front of you. "How are you? I didn't think you'd be up already," he said with a soft smile. 

"Why? It's nine in the morning," you frowned, but slowly understood he was joking. 

"And? I told you to rest," he pushed his eyebrows up, his lips pouted as he countered you. 

You smiled at his expression. "I don't wanna rest. I've got a ton of stuff to do—arrange flower vases, the welcome bags for the guests... and no, you didn't! You told me 'no more work for tonight', today is a new day," you told him conceitedly with a small scoff. 

Seungkwan looked at you amusedly. "And did you do what I said?" he asked, and you knew that he was playing with you, but it didn't help that you could see the tip of his tongue sliding by the corner of his lips and pushing it from the inside of his mouth. 

You gulped hard. "Ye-yeah, I did. Everything you told me, I did it," you muttered without thinking how pathetic you would sound. 

But Seungkwan only smiled, releasing a soft sigh before patting your head twice with his hand and started walking on the tracks, in the direction toward the parking lot of the park. 

"Need a ride home, honey?" he asked as you regained mobility on your limbs and caught up with him. 

Your heart did a mini flip when he used that nickname on you. He might've picked it up after your mother called you that in front of him.  

"Um, yeah. That would be nice. Thanks," you stammered awkwardly. 

You watched him open his duffel bag without skipping a step and pulled out a pack of baby wipes to clean the dirt off his hands from playing basketball, to then get rid of the used wipe on the nearest bin. 

His fingers were long and lithe, the tips rounded and well kept, his knuckles were bony and the back of his hand veiny. A navy blue smartwatch adorned his wrist. A hot shudder shook you. It was just last night those hands were on you. 

You looked away, keeping your eyes trained on the track in front of you. It was then that you noticed that the wind was picking up dramatically and the sky above the steeped tree branches was darker than before. 

"Hey, I was thinking," you started reluctantly, pulling the sleeves of your white pullover to cover your hands as a way to muster up some boldness. "About what happened last night." 

Silence followed after that, you knew you had to say something but you left some space for Seungkwan to say something before you did. But he didn't, his eyes were focused on you, when your gazes connected he nodded, encouraging you to speak. 

"Were you—are you okay with what happened?" you muttered, seemingly sounding breathless, but it was just your nervousness constricting your voice. 

Your question was odd, you knew as soon as you saw his brow furrow slightly. Seungkwan stopped walking and placed a hand lightly on your shoulder, making you stop too. 

"Why do you ask?" his eyes read your face closely. 

The wind that seeped through the trees flanking the tracks brushed Seungkwan's brown hair from his forehead. Fuck, he's so cute, you thought.

"I'm just saying—I don't want you to think that I rushed you into doing something–,"

"Why would I think that?" he queried, his eyes still reading you inquisitively, and then stopped. "Do you regret what happened last night, is that why?" 

Your heart lurched and you instantly shook your head almost passionately, looking up at his brown eyes. "Do you?"

That made him smile fondly. "No," he paused and took a breath tilting his head side to side. "It was really unexpected but I liked it," he reassured you, deducing where your insecurity stemmed from. "I wanted it as much as you did. Probably more, even." 

Your heart swelled with something akin to a mixture of joy and fondness. "That's debatable," you joked, mustering up a small grin. 

"Nope. Highly unlikely," he shook his head once, shutting your claims down with a scoff too.

"What? I was the one all over you," you whined embarrassedly and took your hands to bury your face in them.

"Now, that is a complete lie, honey," he snickered. 

"You know what I mean!" you dropped your hands to your sides. 

His eyebrows pushed up again. "Trust me if I didn't want any of it I would've said it," then he rolled his eyes. "You know what–,"

One hand snaked on the nape of your neck, his fingers getting tangled with your ponytail as he held you in place to crash his lips on yours. A small yelp in surprise got muffled by his hot mouth as he kissed you fervently. 

The tip of his tongue quickly swiped a line on your lower lip to meet with your own. You heard him grunt slightly when your hands found his sides over his t-shirt to hold onto him. 

"Does that settle it?" he asked with a satisfied sigh. 

You glanced to your sides to make sure that no one saw the very public display of carnal affection. The tracks were completely deserted, no one was within your sight. When you turned to lock eyes with him, you noticed that he was amused by your reaction. 

"I–yes, it does. I think," you stammered, completely flustered by him. 

"You think?" he echoed and laughed. 

"Yeah," you breathed, biting your lip to avoid matching his smile. 

"What will it take for you to believe me?" he asked with a tinge of dramatic intonation, the actor that he is. 

"There's dinner tonight—an icebreaker of sorts," you started, locking your eyes with his. "Come along and I'll consider it." 

His hand was still located firmly on your nape. "Why does that sound like you're blackmailing me," he teased, dipping his head to capture your lips with his own. 

"I'm not," you whined but were quickly silenced by another kiss. 

"Say that you believe me and I will go," he muttered with a small smile and pressed his lips one more time against yours. 

"Now who's blackmailing," you quipped. 

"So you admit to it," he chuckled. 

"Kwannie," you pushed his chest with your hand, making the teasing kiss stop. "I want you to come to this dinner." 

"Will you stop believing that I felt pressured to fuck you last night?" he retorted, nodding his head at you defiantly. 

The question shot like a lightning bolt through your body, making you clamp your thighs together. 

"God, Seungkwan," you whined with a high pitched tone and laughed at yourself. "Don't say it like that! Okay!"

He matched your laugh with his own. "I needed to say it like that! How else?"

"Shut up," you sighed. 

A few drops of water fell on both your forehead and cheekbones, making you blink at the suddenness of it all and looking upwards, where the small patches of sky between the branches of trees showed now much darkened clouds. 

"Let's go," Seungkwan slid an arm over your shoulders and you walked side by side, not rushing toward the parking lot. 

Growing up in a seaside town meant that you were used to sudden changes in weather. And during these months, before the new year, rainy and cold days were absolutely normal. 

As more fat droplets of water fell on your head and shoulders, you took the liberty to circle an arm on Seungkwan's back and looked up to find his doe eyes. 

"So what is this dinner about?" he asked, finding your eyes. 

"Is this thing my sister insisted on having, an icebreaker, for the groom's side of the family to meet with our own," you explained briefly, trying not to roll your eyes. 

"Hm," Seungkwan's eyes read yours. "What's up with you and Jisung?" 

You almost stopped walking. "Wha-why?" you breathed anxiously. 

"Yes, why don't you like him?" he pressed. 

"What do you mean?" you deflected. "I do like him. He's family now."

Seungkwan rolled his eyes. "You don't have to hide from me. You know I won't judge," he cooed with his honeyed voice. 

You gaped at him briefly and sighed as the rain continued to fall slowly between the tree branches. The smell of the rain-drenched earth and trees filled your senses.

"He's older than my sister. He's older than you and me," you frowned. "And... she's barely an adult. He's old and she's a kid. It's not only that, I think it's a weird union overall."  

"Is that why you and your sister had a falling out?" he ventured and nodded just after you did. 

"But it was because I said some awful things to her on the matter," you admitted, grimacing a little at the memory you tried so hard to push from your brain. 

In fact, the argument had started because of something insignificant, something you couldn't even remember right. And from then it escalated in you telling your sister she was marrying on a whim, and she would regret it someday. 

You shook your head almost absentmindedly. 

The wind picked up stronger than before, rustling the leaves on the trees as the rain began to pour down with more intensity.

"Oh," you yelped and laughed as the cold drops of water fell on top of your head and shoulders, running down your back too. 

"My dad's car is not far. Do you want to make a run for it?" he asked, surveying the expression on your face as you scrunched up your nose. 

"Yeah, I think so," you nodded. At the pace the rain was falling you would be soaked by the time you made it to the parking lot if you kept walking. 

"Come on," he smiled softly and grabbed your hand as you both sprinted down the running track of the park, all the route you had previously made before and back to the wide parking lot.

The rain lashed down harder than before, splashing your sneakers as you both ran toward the parking lot which, you suspected, had emptied out due to the drastic change in weather.

Seungkwan pointed to a lonely gray sedan and opened the door to the backseat for you as it was the nearest and you immediately slid your body into the seat, letting out sharp breaths from the exercise. 

He too exhaled wearily after closing the car door, rested his head on the headrest and moved to look at you with a soft smile.

You sat on the other end of the back seat with your back against the door. Catching your breath as you felt water dripping from your forehead and down your face as you slowly smiled back at him.

"Here," Seungkwan muttered and opened his duffel bag and handed out a hand towel to you. 

"Didn't you use this for your sweaty face?" you took it nonetheless and wiped your face dry and handed it back to him. 

"It's better than nothing, right?" he muttered shamefully as he wiped his face too. "I have a jacket too, hopefully it's not wet so you can wear it."

He pulled a navy blue sports jacket from his bag and gave it to you. Your hoodie was nearly soaked, but not entirely through. You even thought that it wasn't too bad until you noticed how wet Seungkwan's own clothes were. 

"You have it," you said, handing it back to him.

"No, you have it. I'm fine, you're the one that's shivering," he eyed you with feigned annoyance. 

"Fine," you conceded and removed your wet hoodie with some clumsiness, trying not to bump your arm with the window of the car.

So you stayed in your sporty tank top, which wasn't wet, but felt moist, pressing against skin full of little bumps.  

Seungkwan was pressing the towel on his neck with gentle motions. His white t-shirt stuck to his chest and abdomen, so you could get a faint sight of his nipples, and the lines marking the muscles of his abdomen, the dark circle where his belly button was located. 

Without much thought, you reached out and dipped a finger on his belly button over his wet t-shirt. 

"What," he laughed out loud, grabbing your hand instantly as you responded with your own laughter. 

The rain poured over the hood of the car loudly, and the windows were already condensed. But you could hear his laughter clearly as he poked your tummy with his lithe finger to bring out a sweet smile from you. 

Seungkwan could see that you were flustered, the heat on your face made it so that you looked between nervous and full of desire. And you were obvious with it too—looking at his wet body, the small droplets of water down his neck, where his collarbones met.

And if you dared to look further... to the lushness of his spread thighs, the damp fabric of his blue gym shorts stretched and clung to his skin. But not only that, to notice the growing bulge on his crotch, making you dart a look to his knowing eyes.

Now Seungkwan knew he couldn't resist to you. Not when he already got a taste of you the night before. Not when he already knew just how fucking good you felt. And even less when you looked so flustered, hot and wet.

"Seungkwan?" you called with a tiny voice, even over loud pattering noise from the rain, he responded to your sweet voice. 

"Yes?" 

His brown eyes read your face, but he was certain of what he saw in them. The desire, the hunger, the things he saw in your eyes last night, things he was sure he would never forget.  

You were sure that you were the only ones in the parking lot, but still, you looked around meekly before Seungkwan pulled you for a hot kiss, using his cold hands to cup your cheeks.

It happened fast and in a frenzy. Seungkwan broke away from your lips to grab your top by the hem and yanked it up your body, uncovering your torso for his view. 

You smiled when he scooted closer on the seat and then you grabbed his wet t-shirt and pulled it off his body too, ruffling his chocolate brown hair, partly wet from the rain. 

"You're so hot," he sighed, just like he did the night before, his eyes roamed over your half naked body and licked his lips before kissing you briefly. "I can't believe I'm kissing you." 

"You kissed me last night," you muttered with a nervous giggle, pressing your lips repeatedly against his. 

"And I couldn't believe it last night either," he muttered gruffly and then grunted. "Take this off. I want to see you, baby."

He pinched your sports bra and you complied without a word, pulling your body back to pull the tight and stretchy bra up your head and put it aside on the seat. 

As soon as you got rid of your bra, Seungkwan dipped his head to meet your neck with his lips, peppering your soft and sensitive skin with feathery kisses. 

"You're not afraid we'll get in trouble this time?" you mused with a faint tone just as your skin prickled again, but this time because of his lips grazing against your neck, the feeling making you shudder. 

"We're completely alone this time," he countered, his lips grazing over your collarbones. "Last night was crazy."

"I know," you breathed, eyelids fluttering shut. "I've never been fucked like that."

You heard him laugh faintly against your chest. "Want to top that, then?"

The moan you let spill from your lips was quickly drowned by the loud pattering of the rain against the windows and the hood of the car. The question alone was so inciting that you had your thighs clamping involuntarily.  

"Mmm-mmph," you nodded as his lips reached the swell of your breasts, making your breath hitch. "Want to top you." 

"Hm, right now, are you sure?" he purred before pressing a soft kiss beside your areola. "I want this to be about you, baby." 

The last sentence he uttered against your prickled skin burned through your body, blood rushing to your hot cheeks. "Riding you could also be about me, Kwannie," you replied with a soft moan. 

Seungkwan had never heard something like that being said to him. It made him go a little mad with desire to just feel you already.  

You were answered with a groan and soft nibble to one of your nipples, his hands hooking on the band of your leggings and yanked them down at the same time you kicked your sneakers. Your panties got tangled along with a groan of satisfaction from his part. 

"I like how you look in these," he muttered as he set your leggings aside. 

You looked briefly at your old leggings. You haven't even given much thought as to how you'd look in sporty clothes. 

"Why?" you asked in a confused tone. 

"You just look good in them," he replied with an aloof tone.

God, you wanted to make him feel good—you thought while your mind reeled frantically. You knew you had to be going insane under the lust and the burning desire to feel him again. 

But you were also about to fuck him in an empty parking lot, so there weren't many options. Or time.

"I want to make you feel good, Kwannie," you muttered sultrily, darting a look at him through your eyelashes.

A sigh coiled in his throat, lust and desire rushed inside him, making him feel a bit lightheaded. "C'mere," he muttered, motioning you over his lap. 

Clumsily, you propped yourself on one knee beside him and placed the other to his other side, straddling him over his lap. A shy smile spread on your lips, but he appeared to not notice your clumsiness at all. 

Seungkwan's hands immediately made a way from your thighs to your hips, to then circle back and cup your butt. The cold metal of the clasp on his smartwatch made your skin tingle. His eyes roamed over your body briefly before he looked up and found your own gaze. 

"You look better like this," he decided with a small smile. A hand left one of your glutes to graze your chin with his fingers to pull you in for a kiss. 

"Kwannie," you breathed after capturing his lips with your own. "I need you."

Seungkwan groaned softly. He wasn't in the mood to make you beg, he wanted to give you everything you asked without hesitation. But hearing those words leave your pretty lips, made him wish for ample time to make you beg.

"God, honey," he muttered between needy kisses. "When I told you we needed to repeat this I didn't mean like this," he laughed faintly. 

"I know," you replied, with a shaky tone, bumping the tip of your nose with his. "But I really need this, Kwannie."

His long and delicate fingers explored your body. It was different to see you under the bleak light of the day, to see exactly where his hands caressed. To see your skin respond to his touch with tiny bumps all over.

"It's okay baby," he looked up to see you biting your lower lip as you worked to get his cock free of his boxers. "But my demand still stands."

The tips of his fingers sunk into your hips as he lifted his own for you to drag his gym shorts and boxers down, uncovering him just enough for you to sit on him. Your hand rolled over his hard cock, smearing his precum all over his bulbous head and down his veiny shaft, making him hiss under the much desired contact. 

You nodded aloofly at what he said, completely focused on not losing sanity as you aided yourself to keep balance with one hand over his lean shoulder, keeping the other hand on his cock to align it with your pulsating entrance. 

A breath escaped through your clenched teeth as you slowly and gently eased down on his thick cock, shuddering slightly on it as you felt it stretch your walls nicely, stuffing you to the point you were sure you could come soon like this.

Your other hand matched the one on his shoulder, letting your eyes flutter close in concentration as you started to sway your hips back and forth, gently at first. Not wanting to rush anything. 

But it was fine with him, he didn't want you to move faster. In fact, it was taking everything inside him to not come already, so it helped a bit that you were moving slowly on him. 

"Kwannie," you breathed against his lips, dropping your forehead on his. 

"You're okay, baby," he muttered softly, his lithe fingers pulling away your baby hairs that your ponytail couldn't get a hold of from your face. "You're perfect." 

Seungkwan didn't close his eyes for this, even if he could only see your eyelids fluttering close due to the proximity of your faces, your pretty mouth parted to give way for the breathy moans. 

You changed the rhythm and motion of your hips, opting to bounce delicately on him, taking every single inch of his cock within your warm gummy walls. Now Seungkwan could feel you completely, every crevice, every fold within your walls—to the point that the base of his cock was completely wet, covered with your arousal. 

You leaned your head back gently, stretching your neck for him to place wet kisses on your skin, making you moan loudly when he licked the base of your throat, leaving a tingling sensation all over your skin.

At that, your hips stuttered sloppily against his, moving the hands that were anchored on his shoulders a second ago and you sank them on his strong thighs to lean your body back just before you started rolling your hips on his cock faster. 

"That's it. Use me, baby, juuust like that," he cooed softly at you when he heard your sweet moans. "God, you feel so perfect." 

Seungkwan felt trapped in a haze, in you. It was so different from the night prior, he couldn't really see you then. But now, he was delighting himself at the sight of you, of the unapologetic nakedness. 

He could now see your skin fully, thanks to the bleak light inside the car, the windows tinted by a film of condensation, so he was sure that no one else but him could see you.

His fingers caressed the curve of your waist as you fucked him harder, to then trace the underside of your tits as they gently bounced in front of his face. Earning soft and whiny moans from you when his thumbs twirled around your pebbled nipples.

"You sound so sweet too," he muttered entrancingly, his eyes on your face, over your parted mouth in pleasure, your eyes closed to focus on riding his cock, chasing your sweet, sweet high. 

He groaned and gritted his teeth, letting his head fall on the headrest without tearing his eyes from you, feeling your walls clamp around him just before every sweet moan that your lips spilled. 

"Fuck, you'll be the death of me," he mumbled just before his hands clutched your hips, fingers digging on your soft skin as he lifted his own hips to fuck into you, not because he wanted to regain control, but because he needed to push his cock further into your clamping walls.

"Seungkwan!" you moaned, opening your eyes to find his, hungrily going over the features of your face riddled with pure lust. 

"Need you to come," he muttered, still leaning his head back. "Want you to cream all over me, baby. Make a mess on me." 

"I'm gonna, mmn–, Kwannie!" your eyebrows knitted when his hand moved from your hip to the center of your lower belly, his thumb finding your clit to start teasing it, getting it to swell with circular, unrelenting motions. 

"That's it baby," he cooed with your moans, smiling softly when he felt your walls fluttering erratically around his cock. "God, you feel so good."

You cried out lewdly, the sound buzzing in his ears, almost shattering his mind over how good your voice sounded, your raw moans as you came hard on top of him, meeting his hips with your own sloppily, your eyes lazily falling close. 

Seungkwan felt blood rushing up his head, running down rapidly to his cock, shuddering hard but not letting himself come yet. He knew he had a lot of stamina still to keep fucking into you, so he was determined to make you come one more time before he did. 

His hand slid from your lower belly to your neck, wrapping his fingers around your throat, his hand so large that his thumb pressed against the underside of your jaw and the tips of the rest of his fingers reached the back of your neck.

He didn't choke you when he pulled you from your neck closer to his face to kiss you, but the motion and the pressure on your airway was just enough to make you come down to reality, your hands moving from his thighs to wrap around his forearm. 

"Keep rubbing your clit for me, baby," he grazed your lips with his. "I'm almost there."

You let out a sweet sigh and nodded obediently, taking your hand between your body and his, your fingers swirled around your slick covered clit, already swollen from the arousal and the friction. 

His hands were back clutching your hips, holding you in place as he fucked into you with hard thrusts, gasping on each other's mouths.

"Fuck," he breathed into your mouth. "Let me come inside you, baby," he grunted impatiently.  

The question alone made you burn inside with a tingle between your thighs. You nodded frantically. "Yes. Yes, Kwannie," you breathed. "Come inside me, please, please." 

He let out a low grunt, fingers digging on your love handles. Hearing you say that made his mind spin. You, his childhood crush, wholly naked on top of him, saying those things to him.

"Seungkwan," you muttered before swallowing thickly once, he heard you let out a whiny moan and then: "Seungkwan, I'm cumming."

Seungkwan gave you a small nod. "Let go, baby. That's it, that's it," he muttered with a low tone. 

He cooed at your moans and your whimpers, much as if he were trying to soothe you as you came undone on top of him, trembling and breathing hard.

"Kwannie, Kwannie, Kwannie," you whimpered over and over, as waves of sweet pleasure washed over you harder than before. 

"Fuck–honey," he groaned, the sound vibrating hard on his chest as his eyes screwed shut so hard that he saw colors and ropes of cum spilled from his twitching cock inside your tight warmth. 

He opened his eyes to see you on top of him, post-fuck glaze written all over your face. His ears were ringing slightly, chest heaving but you smiled at him. A small knowing smile that hit him like a punch in the chest. 

Slowly, you stopped writhing on his lap and your pulsating walls relaxed around his cock by the moment you eased your head on his shoulder with a long sigh. 

"Oh my god," you whispered against the crook of his neck, releasing a faint laugh. 

"What's that?" Seungkwan asked lazily as his hands caressed your back with slow and gentle strokes. 

"We're like two teenagers, feels like," you laughed abashedly. "Fucking in a car."

"I never did this as a teenager," he replied, the tip of his nose bumped with the side of your head slightly as you pulled back to see his shy smile. 

"Like, at all?" you frowned slightly at him. 

He shook his head, biting his lower lip to avoid smiling from the shyness he felt in that moment. 

"Me neither," you shrugged.

"Really?" he asked and shook his head slightly. "I mean, you had guys wanting to throw themselves at you all the time... not even once?" 

That made you smile. You both grew up in a small town, where everyone knew each other and word got out pretty fast during high-school. So, sex was decidedly something you wanted to experience until you were certain that it wouldn't turn into a weekend's gossip.

"I didn't have anyone throwing themselves at me," you countered. "And no, I never came close to even going past kissing as a teen." 

He blinked. "You were the prettiest girl of our generation. Everyone wanted to get your attention," a smile stretched his pretty lips. "Myself included."

Your heart flipped once again. "What?" you blurted.

"Don't act so surprised," he muttered, rolling his eyes playfully. 

"Did you..." you started but the words coiled in your throat.

"Like you?" his eyebrows pushed up ever so slightly. "Yes, I did. I still do, if it wasn't obvious."

You let out a laugh and dipped your head to meet his lips with a kiss. "I like you too, if it wasn't obvious," you breathed nervously. "And I also liked you in high-school." 

"I find that last bit hard to believe," he muttered, still pressing his lips with yours in tender kisses. 

"Why?" 

"I was a complete loser," he replied and then paused. "I was a bit awkward." 

"I always thought you were sweet," you smiled at him, brushing his wet bangs aside on his forehead. 

He clicked his tongue and snorted a laugh. 

"I mean it!" you laughed too. 

His fingers took your jaw gingerly to capture your lips with his own, a brief, chaste kiss that had you moaning softly on his mouth. His cock was still lodged inside your sopping walls, wet with his cum and your arousal. So he felt when your walls fluttered a bit around him.  

"Do you still think I'm sweet?" he asked, feeling himself getting hard again just by seeing you respond so well at his touch. 

"Right at this moment?" you sighed a smile. "No, I don't think you're sweet." 

"Hm," he hummed softly before capturing your lips with his, kissing you slowly, so slowly that you almost melted into his lips, into his hands touching you. 

The rain was still pattering on the hood of the car, but not as violently as before. The car windows had been obscured by a layer of condensation. Although it gave you both some privacy, you knew you had to move soon.

"This is a bit wild," you pointed with a whisper. 

"I know," he replied, his hands clutched your hips again, squeezing at your skin affectionately. "Will you let me do this in a bed next time?"

You smirked, leaning your forehead against his again. "What makes you so sure that there will be a next time?"

"Umn, you agreed to it baby," he replied as his hands caressed gentle figure eight motions on your back.

"Mmn, but you'll have to work for it," you conditioned, leaning your head back when Seungkwan tried to get a kiss, copying the motion he did the night prior.

"I know, pretty," he asserted. "I want to take my time with you; I wanna do things right with you," he muttered before capturing your lips with his own, taking the chance that you had stilled at the sound of his words.

"Sorry, I really pushed this one again, didn't I?" you inquired, scrunching your nose a little.

"Again with that—I really need you to get that out of your head," he whispered, the corners of his mouth curved up slightly. "I mean, you do have a high sex drive. But if it wasn't evident, so do I."

That brought a chuckle out of you, the smile widened in his lips. "Lucky me."

Seungkwan could've debated that it was him the lucky one, but that much was obvious, at least to him. Instead, he grabbed your face with his fingers first, to then cup your cheeks fully with his hands.

"I never would've imagined that something like this would happen." 

"Me neither, honestly," you admitted. 

He nodded and gave you a sweet kiss on your lips. "I'm going to move you now, okay?" he muttered before turning your body so he could press your back on the seat. 

Now that you were lying on your back, he pulled out from you without spilling anything on the seat. Your eye caught the sight of his cock, drenched in both his and your arousal, a sheen ring of your cream smeared by his hilt. Seungkwan quickly tucked himself and reached for something inside his duffel bag that was forgotten on the floor of the car. 

"Here," he muttered softly as he wiped his cum clean from your pussy lips with gentle fingers. 

"Thanks," you whispered nervously as you saw him focused on his task. 

He handed you the leggings and panties and you got dressed quickly, feeling cold now that you weren't in proximity to his warmth. When you were completely dressed in your humid clothes, you turned to see Seungkwan, seemingly a little lost in thought. 

"Let me take you home," he muttered, grazing your chin with his fingers once and climbed over the front seat of the car in one full movement.  

During the ride home, Seungkwan kept his arms lax, holding the steering wheel by the underside. You noticed that he was driving at the lowest speed tolerated, and you suspected that he was also trying to take the farthest route so the ride would take longer. 

"Are you cold, I can turn the heating on," he offered and you nodded, your hands firmly clasped between your thighs, trying not to shiver. 

You reached out to the fans emitting hot air to warm your fingers and when you felt like your body was heating up you leaned back on the seat and let out a lazy sigh. 

"Are you tired, honey?" he asked attentively and you peeled one eye to look at him. 

A hand slid down your thigh, fingers circling over your inner side and gave a gentle squeeze on your skin. 

"Not tired, just a bit stressed," you sighed. "'ve got so many things to do."

"Do you need a hand? I can help," he immediately asked. 

You felt your cheeks burn at the mere prospect of having Seungkwan around you for a prolonged span of time.  

"Oh, I'm fine. Don't worry about me," you put in quickly. "But I appreciate the concern." 

"You know you can ask for help," he said as his thumb stroked gentle circles on your thigh. "I have nothing else to do. I'd love to help you." 

"Thank you, Seungkwan," you muttered with a content smile. "I will consider you, if it comes to it." 

He appeared to be pensive for a second, as if he were looking for the right words to say a moment before he slowly said: "I think it's a little unfair that you have to put up with so much pressure on your own."

"Seungkwan," you sent him a reproachful look. But you knew he was right. 

"I know, I know it's the form of currency between you and your sisters," he conceded, nodding with his head as his eyes darted a swift look at you. "But I can't imagine what you could have done to pay for all this work."

You looked away, ashamed at the truth behind it all. "Let's just say that I embarrassed her in front of her fiancé."

"Mm, okay. And still, I think you arranging their wedding with zero help as a way to win her forgiveness is a little too much," he shrugged. "Why can't you talk about it like normal people?"

You scoffed. "Believe me, I've tried. But the only way I could get Minnie to talk to me was by offering to help her with the arrangements." 

"See? It's not fair," he insisted. 

"You're passionate about this," you quipped with a playful smile, a feeble attempt to drive the conversation away from the conflict between you and your sisters. 

He patted your thigh gently. "I get it if you don't want to talk about this. But at least let me help you." 

"Fine," you conceded, starting to see that Seungkwan could easily sway you. "But go home and have a shower first, I don't want you catching a cold right before my sister's wedding."

Seungkwan scoffed and looked at you sideways with a smirk playing on his lips. "Sure thing, ma'am." 

"Seriously, where else will I get some talented singers for the musical number?" you asked with a nervous giggle. 

"Oh, so you don't care if I get sick? All you care about is the wedding?" he asked playfully, feigning disappointment expertly with a furrowed brow and pouty lips. 

"That's right," you replied and giggled again, the sound making Seungkwan break his character and smile sweetly at you. 

The car came to a stop just in front of the driveway of your parents house. You clicked the belt off and leaned forward to place a sweet peck on his cheek. 

"Don't get sick, though," you whispered really close to his ear. 

A shiver shot through Seungkwan's entire body. "Or what?" he countered with a small smile. 

"You won't like it," you teased, a playful smile on your lips. 

He rolled his eyes at your bluff and sneaked a hand on the back of your neck to pull you in for a kiss, locking your lips with his, slipping his tongue on your mouth almost hungrily to bring out a whiny moan from you. His thumb brushed your cheek softly as he kissed you, the wet sound of both your mouths and your erratic breaths being the only thing being heard inside the car for a moment. 

"See you later," you mumbled with a low tone, completely flustered by him again. 

"I'll call you before I come back here, okay," he asked, his fingers pushing the baby hairs away from the side of your face again. 

"You're not going to tell me to get a warm shower or something?" you pouted at him, batting your eyelashes too. 

Seungkwan paused, reading your expression with a punch in his gut and released a soft chuckle. He knew you were joking, but something inside him wanted to care for you—and he suspected that you delighted in that. 

He held your chin gingerly with two of his fingers, his brown eyes locking with yours. "I want you to have a warm shower and a hot cup of tea," he paused, his eyes still reading your face. "And I'm going to need evidence of that this time." 

Your eyes widened. "Evidence? How will I do that?" you blurted. 

"I don't know," he smiled slowly, shrugging with ease. "Get creative." 

You rolled your eyes at him playfully and stole one final kiss before getting out of the car. "Fine." 

Seungkwan watched you walk off to the driveway and disappear inside your parents house. He hated that he couldn't bring himself to drive to his parents' house to drop off the car and go to the room he had rented for the time being. He hated that by the time he arrived there, he already craved you again. 

When you crossed the door of your parents' house, you swiftly made your way to your temporary bedroom, collecting a towel and scurried to the bathroom to avoid either your mom or dad seeing you.

Shivering slightly from the cold you open the shower with one hand while the other pulled at the scrunchie tying your hair in a ponytail. The warm water felt almost rewarding as you stepped under the shower head, releasing a pleased sigh.

After you cleaned yourself thoroughly, you wrapped your body in a towel and stepped in front of the mirror on top of the sink. Picking up your phone, aligning the camera lens to capture your body and snapping a photo to send it to Seungkwan.

[10:45 AM] you: here's your evidence. [10:45 AM] you: you sent a photo

You were content with the result. The photo wasn't sultry in any way, you even fought with yourself to not throw a peace sign in your mirror selfie.

He responded immediately.

[10:45 AM] kwannie: that's only one part of the evidence [10:45 AM] kwannie: but i appreciate the effort 😌 [10:45 AM] you: dork

You carried onto your list of tasks you needed to get done before the day ended, since the wedding was in two nights, and you still had yet to arrange flower vases and welcome bags. The flower vases had to be ready tomorrow, due to the probability of the flowers not making it to the wedding reception intact.

"There you are," your big sister said with a huff the moment you came out of the bathroom. "I'll be back by three o'clock, Yeri is with mom downstairs. Call me if you need anything, okay?"

"I'm babysitting today as well?" you pushed your eyebrows up.

"Oh, did I forget to tell you?" your sister frowned and looked at her phone. "I'm late for my appointment, see you then."

A knot coiled in your tummy, deciding to swallow your words you nodded, but your sister had already turned to the stairwell.

With an exasperated sigh, you came down to the living room, where baby Yeri had already broken down in a loud cry when caught sight of her mom crossing the front door.

You picked her up from your mom's lap and attached her to your hips. "I'm here, Yeri," you cooed. You had discovered that Yeri didn't tell the difference from you and her mom all that well, so the baby soothed down in the familiarity of your voice.

"Okay, let's get things done," you told the one year old, taking her to the kitchen, where you made yourself a cup of tea with milk, and poured orange juice in Yeri's sippy cup.

You grabbed your phone again with one hand, snapping a photo of your cup of tea and Yeri's sippy cup.

[11:01 AM] you: evidence pt. 2 ft. Yeri's sippy cup [11:01 AM] you: you sent a photo

Yeri grabbed her sippy cup perfectly with her hands and you lifted your cup. "Cheers," you cooed to her and sipped from your cup.

"Honey," your mom called you using your nickname, drawing your attention towards her, she stood by the door frame. "Me and your dad are going to pick something from the dry cleaners, then we're grabbing lunch somewhere."

"Oh, right now?" you inquired, darting a look to the baby sipping from her cup merrily, juice dripping from her small chin. "Are you taking Yeri with you?"

"We wanted this afternoon for us, before you go to your sister's dinner," your mom smiled almost sheepishly at you. "Like a date."

"Oh, yeah, yeah, okay," you blurted. "Seungkwan is coming here in a bit."

You mom paused, tilting her head to one side. "Boo Seungkwan? What is the occasion?"

You were overwhelmed by a wave of shame, one that only you knew where it stemmed from. "Uhm, he's helping me with the final arrangements," you mumbled. "We're catching up. And well, we're babysitting too, apparently."

Your mom smiled, her eyes glinting with something you couldn't quite place at the moment. "I'm glad you decided to talk to him. Sometimes I wonder if you even like other people."

"I'm not that terrible, mom," you chuckled, trying to mask the slight hurt you felt from the unwarranted comment.

"Well, we'll be back before sundown for your sister's dinner," she said, shifting on her feet and turned to the door. "Be nice, please. We're friends with the Boo family."

"Mom!" you squealed. "I know!"

Yeri giggled when your voice rose an octave higher. And you caught sight of her aloof smile and that made you giggle with her. "Don't laugh at me," you reprimanded jokingly.

Your parents left shortly after that. In that moment, your phone buzzed in your back pocket and you placed your cup on the dinner table, where you would be working on the welcome bundles.

[11:13 AM] kwannie: i'm bringing you lunch. [11:13 AM] kwannie: should i get something for everyone? [11:13 AM] you: it's just me and Yeri [11:13 AM] kwannie: got it [11:13 AM] you: thank you Kwannie 🥰 [11:14 AM] kwannie: don't mention it

Some time later, you were caught between arranging the stuff for the welcome bags and trying to entertain the one year old in the crib that was pushed to one corner of the living room.

A soft knock came to your door and you nearly jolted in surprise, grabbing Yeri and hiking her up at your hip to get the door.

Seungkwan was there, wearing a navy blue hoodie, blue jeans and blue sneakers. He smiled at you and the baby at your hip.

"I tried calling, but you never answered," he pointed when you moved aside for him to step in.

"Oh, gosh. I'm so sorry, guess I forgot my phone somewhere," you said and tentatively leaned your head up for him, earning a soft smile from him when he understood what you wanted, pressing a soft kiss in your lips.

"Hi again," you cooed happily.

"Hi honey," he responded in the same manner. He even matched your tone.

In that moment, Yeri started kicking her little legs, making a fuss about being pushed to the side for you to have your romantic moment with Seungkwan.

"I'm babysitting," you explained, as if it weren't evident already.

"Is your sister gone?" he asked, walking behind you as you made your way to the living room, you had rearranged everything so the coffee table was pushed to the wall and barricaded with the cardboard box that previously stored the vases in your temporary room.

The floor had a multi-colored mat, surrounded with cushions and large pillows for the baby to be in, her favorite toys sprinkled everywhere.

"Yes, it's just us three," you said, settling the one year old in the floor, where she immediately slumped backwards with a joyous squeal.

"I brought us sandwiches," he said with his adorable pout, lifting the plastic bag on his hand.

You couldn't help but smile at that, taking a step towards him and cupping his face in your hands and pressed a big kiss in his lips.

"Thank you, Professor Boo," you mumbled in his lips, referring to his old high-school nickname.

"It's been ages since someone called me that," he admitted with a shy smile.

While having lunch, you helped baby Yeri with her food, cutting it to smaller pieces so she could chew them and she did so contentedly, drool dripping down her chin as she blabbed and laughed at nothing in particular.

"She's a happy baby," Seungkwan pointed when you settled back to the living room and Yeri was now sleeping peacefully in her crib.

"Yeah. She's the sweetest," you replied, eyeing Seungkwan at your side and Yeri in her crib.

"I guess we should make the most of the fact that she's asleep and get to work," he suggested, noticing your gaze on him.

"Yeah, yeah, sure," you blurted, feeling a little ashamed of yourself.

You both sat on the dining table and you taught Seungkwan how the welcome bundle had to be made. Which consisted of a pretty gift bag, but the content had to include a hangover kit, a small bottle of sparkling water and assorted candies.

You popped a piece of chocolate bar that was destined for the bundles and Seungkwan eyed you with curiosity. "I thought those were numbered," he quipped with a grin when you laughed guiltily.

"They are, but I'll take this as payment," you said impishly.

"You should charge them for everything you're doing, if you don't mind me saying so," he muttered firmly and added in an even quieter voice, as if he feared the walls would judge him, "I know money is not an issue for your brother-in-law."

"I'll be fine, Kwannie," you replied, throwing a hangover kit inside one of the gift bags labeled with your sister and her fiancé's initials and the date of their wedding. "This is fun."

With that, Seungkwan put the matter to rest but you could still feel the slight tension lingering in the air, as though he still had something to say about the matter.

You grabbed a piece of chocolate and scooted in your chair, towards his side. "Open up," you ordered sweetly at him.

One of his eyebrows, fighting back a smile he opened his mouth for you to feed him a piece of chocolate, which he chewed with the corners of his mouth slightly raised.

You felt your cheeks glow with an embarrassed heat as you quite literally beamed at him. Seungkwan noticed, reading you perfectly and leaned in to kiss you softly.

"You're cute," he breathed, right before you were both interrupted with a loud cry coming from the crib that you nearly forgot about. Yeri had awoken and immediately started demanding attention.

"Oh, I'll–," you started.

"Don't worry, I'll go," he said, promptly getting up and you watched him cross the living room and lifted baby Yeri in his arms.

Yeri immediately soothed her cries, getting what she wanted when Seungkwan sat on the mat with her in his arm and mumbled something to her, you could hear the soft humming of his voice and Yeri responded with her own, half incoherent babble.

You continued working on the remaining bags, watching Seungkwan entertain Yeri quite effortlessly. He found one of the sock puppets and the baby in his arm squealed excitedly, clapping her tiny hands when Seungkwan raised the puppet in his hand.

"Does it have a name?" he asked you, calling from across the living room.

"I call it Socky," you replied with a shrug, knowing that it was a terrible name.

"That's a lazy name," he teased with a grin. "But it'll do."

"Hey! Don't say that! Socky will be hurt," you protested childishly.

Seungkwan smiled and got to work on an impromptu character for the sock puppet, finding a voice for Socky and talking to the one-year-old quite flawlessly.

"You have experience with this," you noted, paying attention to the man focused in keeping your baby niece entertained.

"I did some children's plays not too long ago," he briefly explained. "I discovered I have a knack for it."

You were just about to point out that perhaps he was being too humble about it, when Yeri laughed, when Seungkwan pulled a trick on her. It a crazy, high-pitched laugh that was so contagious that both you and Seungkwan responded with a smile at the baby.

Your breath was robbed out of your lungs with a punch in the heart, leaving a fluttering sensation inside you when you realized, Seungkwan's smile was sweet, like his chocolate brown eyes.

He looked at you, knowing he would find your gaze on him and winked. If you hadn't blushed already, you would have after that.

Later, when you had finished the bundles, Seungkwan and Yeri were watching TV, both sitting on the floor, mindlessly watching the screen.

Some time later, Seungkwan left right before your parents arrived and took care of Yeri, so you had ample chance to get ready for the dinner party.

You wore a pretty silk dress that accentuated your attributes nicely. After getting your makeup and hair up in a cute bun, you were ready to get to the restaurant bar, since you had to be there to go over the guest list with the restaurant staff.

Your father gave you a ride there, complimenting your look with a proud smile before you climbed down the car.

You let out an anxious sigh. This was the first event before the main one, the wedding.

The night had fallen by the shore, the restaurant stood after it, the terrace lights lit up the place beautifully. The soft glow of the lights that hung above made the place look cozy, and even warm, as opposed to the chilly night.

The terrace was adorned just like the bride had requested, the tables neatly arranged with matching fine dinnerware, tablecloths, goblets, all in the colors that she demanded; and you arranged for.

You liked this part—setting pretty high top tables, arranging guests lists, even the dutiful task of doing over a hundred welcoming bundles, it made you think that if the bride wasn't your actual sister, you'd feel at ease.

But as soon as you saw her arrive to the restaurant, you immediately felt the muscles of your back tense up. Her fiancé was by her side, neither of them spoke a word to either you or the staff as your sister dragged him to the terrace for an impromptu photo shoot session.

Slowly, you sister and brother-in-law's friends started to arrive and you were quickly put to work, going over the names and pointing them to their respective tables.

But there was only one guest whose arrival you anticipated the most. And the longer it took for him to get there, the more anxious you felt. It wasn't until you were to the last guests, crossing out most of the names on the list when you raised your gaze from your phone.

To see Seungkwan approaching you from the restaurants entrance, he was pocketing his phone in his pants, fixing the cuffs of his white button up, which was not buttoned all the way up. So you could get a glimpse of his beautiful collarbones, you instantly felt like your heart thumped furiously in your chest when your eyes met his.

"Sorry, I'm a bit late," he said, giving you a shy smile.

You did your best not to look as flustered as you already were. "You're excused," you pressed your lips in a smile.

Seungkwan beckoned toward you and you immediately stiffened in your posture, shaking your head slightly. "No kissing?" he whispered, catching your misdirect quickly.

"Not in front of my sisters," you casually put in, coughing to mask your nervousness at the same time you nodded to the tables at the far end of the terrace. "I don't want them to ruin my night just yet."

Seungkwan laughed softly. "You're the boss," he mumbled, his doe eyes casting a glance up and down your body, making your blood sizzle under your skin.

"Okay," you sighed shakily, running your hands over your tummy, smoothing over the silk fabric. "You're with me," you turned on your heel and walked over where your and Seungkwan's table were located.

"Why are you nervous?" he asked, he had grabbed two champagne glasses and offered you one.

"It's nothing," you mumbled but after a brief pause, you blurted: "I want everything to go smoothly."

Seungkwan pondered for a second. "Can I help?"

"You're doing great so far," you breathed with a pleased smile. "You're here."

Seungkwan's lips twitched a little and he appeared to lean towards you. "So you're not letting me kiss you but it's okay to flirt?"

You rolled your eyes, biting back a smile. "Flirting is fine. No one else is listening."

The guests were concentrated in different groups, achieving what the purpose of the dinner was and your sister and his fiancé's friends were getting to meet each other. So no one was really even close to listening to you and Seungkwan.

"Well in that case," he mumbled, pretending to fix the cuffs of this button up. "You look gorgeous."

You giggled in pure embarrassment, making Seungkwan smile at you.

"It's taking me all of my willpower not to kiss you," he continued, enjoying the sound of your giggles, the color that your face took, the glint in your eyes, everything.

"Stop," you sighed and rubbed a small tear from the corner of your eye.

"It's true," he mumbled, his eyes triangulating between your lips and your twinkling eyes again.

The dinner went over smoothly, your nervousness died down mostly all due to Seungkwan keeping you distracted with silent knowing looks and secret touches under the table.

His hand casually slid up your thigh once, giving you a slow and gentle squeeze, making your blood boil under your skin when you couldn't help but press your thighs together.

He kept his hand resting there, his thumb caressing over the silk of your skirt, leaving a prickling sensation when he lifted his hand from your thigh.

Seungkwan looked at you, the corners of his mouth lifting as he sipped from his glass of champagne.

God, you wanted to touch him. You thought.

Your hand was next to his, on the table. Reaching out with one finger slowly in order to lace with his.

"There you are, little sis," your sister said, giving you an odd feeling of déjà vu.

Your big sister grabbed you by the arm, you could tell that she was drunk because she pulled you off your chair carelessly, making you nearly stumble.

She laughed. "Careful," she mumbled. "I want you to meet a friend of mine."

"What? You're drunk already?" you blurted, sneaking a look over your shoulder to Seungkwan, "Sorry," you mouthed to him.

But he blinked at you with ease as if saying don't worry about it.

You walked closely behind your sister, letting her drag you through the crowds of people outside in the terrace.

"This," your sister blurted, quite literally thrusting you in front of someone. "Is my friend Hanbin. This is my little sister," she sighed, pleased with herself for some reason.

You looked up to the older man. Hanbin.

"We already know each other," he said, his voice velvety and low, a slow smile stretching his full rosy lips.

"Well, you two talk," your older sister said, her words a slurry mess and she turned to say something to her husband.

"Sorry about that," you put in quickly and quite nervous to face the guy. "She's... well you know her."

Hanbin was actually, not your sister's friend but her husband's, best friend, actually. So you've known him from a few years back, from moments like this that your sister insists on making a fool of yourself in front of her older friends.

"How have you been?" he asked politely, his dark eyes glinting with some drunkenness in them.

"Uh, good, good. I um," you pretended to tuck some hairs behind your ear, despite your hair being up in a bun. "How are you? Are you... wha-what is it that you do?"

You blinked slowly, trying to regain focus. Hanbin laughed at your stutter, his laugh wasn't mocking, it was actually cute.

"I'm a producer. I'm actually moving in the city and your sister told me you're based there..." he frowned, looking a little befuddled. "I think that's why she wanted you to meet me."

You nodded awkwardly, toying with the dainty bracelets in your wrist. "That's nice," you replied aloofly. "I mean, yo-you moving to the city, that's great!"

He nodded, putting a hand to the pocket of his black pants. He was wearing all black, and he seemed to blend in with the dark night sky. Your eyes lost focus on anything but the older man's gaze and settled on the golden liquid in his glass.

It seemed to you that there wasn't much to say and you thought you'd make up an excuse to get back to your table. Then, suddenly, you felt your sister stumbling backwards, crashing her weight against your body and making you lose your balance.

You heard your sister squeal with laughter as you tripped forward and he reached a hand out of his pocket and grabbed you before you fell, spilling his drink all over the front of his black shirt.

"Oh, god. I'm so sorry," you gasped shamefully, trying to compose yourself quickly.

"It's alright," he said politely, shaking his hand off the droplets of whisky after putting the glass on the table.

"Here," you blurted, grabbing a napkin from the table and offered it to him, without looking at his face in utter embarrassment.

"It's alright," he repeated and you heard him smile.

Seungkwan watched the whole exchange from afar, how deliberately your sister pushed you onto the unsuspecting guy's arms. But oh, it seemed that the older man loved it, looking at your nervous self trying to make it right, nearly using the tablecloth in your hand to clean his shirt yourself.

You were nervous, rightfully so. Seungkwan saw it in your body language, how retracted you were from the whole exchange and he saw you still after Hanbin smiled at you and said something to you, pulling out his phone from the pocket of his black trousers and listening to you attentively.

You came back after a minute, face blushed, walking awkwardly.

Seungkwan was standing by the doorway to the large terrace, he had left his chair the moment he saw you almost stumble to your knees. And kept an eye on you, a nasty feeling coiling inside his chest when he saw Hanbin's eyes on you in a way that could only mean one thing.

"What was that about?" Seungkwan asked, nodding his head toward the older man, who just happened to be absorbed in conversation with other party guests. 

"Oh, my sister and her relentless need to make a fool of me," you brushed off, grabbing a new glass of champagne and brought it to your lips to give a generous gulp. 

"How come?" he asked, eyeing you with a glint of curiosity. 

"Mm, 's nothing," you mumbled, feeling a new warmth of embarrassment rush to your face. "She has this thing, she likes to throw me to her guy friends when she can't keep up with simple conversations."

You twirled the dainty glass of champagne from one hand to the other, mindlessly seeing the bubbles rise to the surface of the gold liquid. 

"And what did you two talk about?" he asked, his tone was curious still and when you met his eyes, he only looked at you. 

"Um, nothing really. He's moving to the city next month. Asked for my number so we can meet when he moves, show him around and stuff," you shrugged, trying to change the conversation into something other than the cause for your embarrassment.

Seungkwan paused, eyeing the features of your face over and over again. You looked embarrassed, yes. But he noticed also, that you didn't caught on your sister's plan, and fell right to it. 

"And did you give it to him?" 

"Yeah, I mean, he's my sister's friend."

Seungkwan blinked, trying with all his might not to roll his eyes. He saw the way Hanbin looked at you, the way he gaped at your chest instead of having the decency to look at your eyes. 

"Or he was trying to get your number all along," he muttered, making you raise your eyes to see him push the inside of his cheek with his tongue. 

"What?" you frowned. "D'you think he was flirting with me?" 

"Oh, I'm sure he was flirting," he smiled slowly, but the sentiment didn't reach his eyes, it was a dry smile. 

You snorted. "Yeah, right. Why would he? I thought he was in a relationship, or whatever." 

"If so, he was very comfortable looking at your chest," he blurted quickly, shifting his gaze elsewhere. 

"What?" you blurted with a scoff. "No he wasn't."

Though you couldn't say that for sure, and it resounded in the tone of your voice. 

"He was."

Your eyes zeroed on his face, his avoidant gaze. "And?" you prompted. 

"And, what do you mean, and?" he blinked and another empty smile broke his otherwise hard expression. 

You started with a shrug, enjoying the slightly heated expression that his features took, pushing his eyebrows up, his lips pursing just a little. "I mean, it doesn't mean a thing," you muttered, taking a step towards him slowly. "At the end of the day the only eyes I want on me are yours." 

That seemed to break him. With a little snort, his shoulders relaxed.

"Oh, yeah?" he asked with a low tone, a hand slowly slithered on your waist, over the thin fabric of your silk dress. 

Your eyelids fluttered under the sudden contact of his hand on you, when he pulled you to his frame. "Yeah," you mumbled out. 

His eyes darted to a point across the room behind you and then back to yours. "'Cause right now he's looking at your ass pretending to be listening to a conversation."

You stilled and made no motion to confirm his accusations. Seungkwan looked sincere, a bit heated but not completely upset. He almost looked challenged. 

"Even if I'm with you?" you asked, feeling even more dumbfounded when Seungkwan only nodded.

One of his eyebrows twitched slightly. "Well, we may have to send him a message so he understands that you are off limits," he murmured the words slowly, his sweet voice betraying what the darkness in his eyes told. 

"How are you planning to do that?" you asked, thinking that it was completely befuddling to see the spark in his eye, the jealousy that made his hand snake from the curve of your waist to the small of your back. 

"I don't know," he mumbled, shrugging slightly with the shoulder that his head was leaning to. "I could take advantage of the fact that no one but him is looking at us, and just do this–,"

A shudder shot through you when his hand slid down the small of your back and firmly parked it on your ass. The corners of his lips curved ever so slightly when he saw how flustered you looked. 

"Seungkwan!" you hissed, but made no move to stop him. "What if someone else sees?" 

His eyes darted back to the other side of the room again swiftly and nodded at you. "I don't care," he muttered and then looked back at you guiltily. "No one else is watching but him, baby. I promise." 

"This is a really rude way to mark your territory," you pointed impishly, settling your empty glass of champagne on the nearest table and grabbing his hand from your ass.

But still, you laced your fingers with his, the back of your hand against his palm.

"Since you failed to tell him to back off and not giving him your number, I gotta do something, don't I?" he asked and you noticed that he was trying to keep it together and not laugh at his own jealous act.

"I didn't know he was flirting!" you exclaimed in a hushed tone and took your fingers to the collar of his button up to start toying with it absentmindedly. 

"That's why I think he should know you're not free," he shrugged slightly again, slowly dipping his head to meet your lips with his own, gently kissing you once and parting away with a small smile. 

"I think that would suffice," you mumbled amusedly. "Did he stop looking?" 

Seungkwan paused, as if he had forgotten the object of his jealous act and that almost made you laugh. "Uhm," he blinked and darted back. "Yup, he's minding his business now."

"You're being such a dick," you joked.

"Am I?" he inquired, nodding his head once. "I got him to stop looking at you, didn't I?"

"Let him look," you shrugged. "It's all he can do, right?"

Seungkwan pushed his tongue against the inside of his cheek, looking at you attentively. "What if I don't like that?" he challenged.

"Then you're gonna have to live with it," you said with ease, adding another shrug. "'Cause I can't prevent people from looking."

That made Seungkwan smile and he sighed as if letting go of his little jealous act. His free hand cupped your chin, setting his gaze on your face before whispering. "You'll be the death of me."

Then he kissed you again, deeper this time, demanding a hard kiss from you, making you melt into his lips. A moan coiled in your throat when you felt the tip of his tongue slowly prod on your lower lip and that made him stop, only to press his lips softly with yours, move them to your cheek and then,

"Careful, baby, we can't be doing that in front of everyone," he whispered in your ear, and you could almost see him in the eye of your mind looking straight into Hanbin as he did that. 

"I thought you wanted to send him another message," you quipped and moved your head back to meet his gaze. 

"That doesn't mean I want him to know how sweet you sound," he bit back and pinched your chin softly with his thumb and pointer finger. "Come take a walk with me."

"Okay," you breathed, being pulled already by the hand Seungkwan was already laced to. 

The both of you exited the fancy open restaurant bar, heading onto the pretty wooden terrace, which was lit with fairy lights, that contrasted with the dark night sky. The terrace was heavy packed with your sister and brother in law's guests, and you quickly understood that Seungkwan wanted to get you alone.

So he walked you down the wooden pier that extended from the restaurant's terrace, the pier descending towards a boat shed at the distance and upon the waterfront. The boat shed appeared to be mysteriously abandoned, bringing you to question the nature of his intent.

But Seungkwan came to a stop, tugging his arm so he turned you to him with a half twirl, your chests collided, and you gave him a half flustered, half nervous giggle.

Seungkwan in return, circled your lower back with an arm. A thought crossed his mind when he caught sight of your parted lips, your blown pupils; you're cute, hot, you're driving him insane. He smirked and a hand came to pinch your chin softly, his chocolate brown eyes darkened under the moonless night.

"Have you ever come down here?" he asked softly, the hand that previously pinched your chin brushed some baby hairs off your face.

He wondered if he could ask you to free your hair from the bun that held it prettily on top of your head.

"No, honestly I didn't know this existed," you nodded back to the shadowy boat shed.

"Mm, so it's a first for both of us," he muttered before leaning to press a soft kiss on your lips.

"A lot of things are, Kwannie," you breathed, looking at him completely flustered now.

Your stomach jolted nervously when his eyes triangulated from your lips, then to each of your eyes. His hand slid in your face to cup your chin before dipping his head to meet your lips with his own with a hot kiss.

Fuck, the fluttery feeling inside you was there again. But it made you moan in his mouth now. There was no hiding how he made you feel, the burning tingling in your cheeks, the fluttery heartbeat against your chest, pulsating in your ears and throat.

You were down bad, so bad.

"Kwannie," you breathed, cupping his neck with your hands, you felt his pulse beneath your palms and fingers.

"Honey," he replied, his breathy voice sounded slightly strained.

When you couldn't bring yourself to utter what you wanted, he paused, reading you expertly.

And in truth, he wanted you as much as you wanted him. After being with you all day and all night, plus the jealousy, that dress you were wearing, the aching need to make you his, his mind was resolved.

"C'mere," he mumbled, grabbing you by the hand.

You were led to the interior of the boat shed, amidst the darkness and the smell of wood, and seawater. There was an old boat in the middle of the wooden shed and each of the corners was cluttered with abandoned items.

The faint, distant sounds of laughter and music drifted across the water, the boat creaking, the rhythmic sound of the sea lapping against the shore. Your mind reeled, but you paid no attention to the familiar looming fear of getting caught.

Seungkwan's lips made a soft smacking sound when he pulled away from yours. "Turn around, baby," he half whispered half rasped.

Your heart raced uncontrollably, sending a powerful shudder like lightning through your body. You loved when he spoke to you like this, with such confidence, his breathy voice controlled, the determination in the features of his face.

"What happened to fucking me in a bed?" you breathed with a sassy smile, despite wanting this with every fiber of your being.

"Next time," he maintained, bumping the tip of your nose with his before pulling you into another chaste kiss. "Turn for me. And pull your skirt up."

Carrying out his order, you turned around, hastily pinching the silk skirt of your dress up to your waist, uncovering yourself for him with a shaky breath. You immediately felt his front press up against your back, his erection wedged perfectly on your ass, his hot breath on the shell of your ear.

"Would you like him to see this, baby?" he asked, hooking one finger around the string of your thong, moving it to one side to then dip that same finger between your wet folds. "Do you want him to know how wet for me you are?"

"No, no Kwannie," you gasped, leaning your body forward slightly and holding onto a wooden post, your ass was now angled for him, so close to his front that you felt then he moved his hand to zip down his black pants, you heard his belt buckling free.

You screwed your eyes shut when you felt the tip of his cock nudging on your entrance, playing with your arousal by sliding up and down your slippery folds. "Mmnff," you let out a muffled moan. "God, oh god."

The palms of his hands pressed on the plush of your ass, fingers digging softly onto your skin as he buried his cock deeply inside your walls, eliciting a moan from both of you. He wasted no time and started pushing his cock with a steady pace at first.

"Fuck," you whispered softly just as you leaned your body in, angling your ass, making his cock hit a sweet spot in your walls.

Seungkwan groaned behind you. A hand left your hip and flew to circle your throat, his lips grazing the shell of your ear as you quite literally heard his breath hitch when your walls clamped around him.

"Do you think he can fuck you like this?" he grunted, his fingers pressing around your neck gently. "Make you feel good, like I can?"

"No, of c-course not Kwannie," you gulped hard. With some impatience, your fingers wrapped around his wrists, one of his hands on your neck, the other still firmly placed on your ass, keeping your skirt up.

"Fuck—you like this, don't you baby?" he groaned, dropping a kiss on the crook of your neck. "You like to rile me up? Like to make me jealous?"

You nodded and sighed a moan when his teeth grazed a soft spot on your neck. "Kwannie, please," you begged for him to speed up his thrusts, to give you what you needed to come.

"You drive me crazy," he confessed with a strained tone, followed by a low moan that vibrated against your ear.

Your hands held onto the wooden wall in front of you as the thrust of his hips changed, plowing on you now, causing your body to bounce on his cock.

His hand climbed down from your throat to squeeze one of your boobs gently over the fabric of your dress, moaning on your neck when he confirmed his suspicions that you didn't wear a bra for your pretty dress.

"Oh my god," you whimpered, when his hand on your ass circled to your front and pressed the pads of his fingers against your swollen clit, which was slick with your own arousal, his fingers pinched your bud, and started rubbing it with swift motions.

"Come for me," he growled in your ear as his hand on your boob returned to your throat, keeping the thrusting of his cock steady on your throbbing pussy. "I know you're close, baby."

"I can't," you sobbed. Despite the undeniable sweet pleasure consuming your body, there was something stopping it from tearing through you.

"Yes, you can," he planted a soft kiss in your cheek, nudging the apple of your cheek with the tip of his nose. "You've done so well for me baby, taking me so nicely, so fucking good."

Hearing him speaking like that onto your ear might've been your undoing. Pleasure tore through your body, under the fingers flicking your clit, the hand wrapped around your throat and the relentless thrusting of his cock inside your walls, and his breathy moans when your walls started contracting on his cock.

"Just like that, good girl," he rasped with a low grunt that vibrated on his chest, his mind spinning with a frantic shudder before he gasped in your ear: "My girl."

You nodded deliriously at the sound of that, slipping into the same trance as him as you came undone on his cock. "Yours," you sobbed, your hand pressing to the side of his head to bring him to a sloppy kiss.

"All mine," Seungkwan nodded with you, his breath hitching and you felt it in your lips, swallowing back a strangled moan as he spilled himself inside you, pushing his cum with slow, deep thrusts until he was utterly breathless.

He released a sigh, dropping his head to litter your shoulder with slow, wet kisses.

"Seungkwan," you breathed, feeling his heartbeat thumping furiously against your back, you leaned your head back to try and look at him. "Were you really jealous?"

Two fingers slid under your chin to angle your lips to his, which he kissed gently, brushing the tip of his nose against yours teasingly. "A little," he admitted with a faint tone, seemingly focused on pressing kisses on your jawline.

His other hand slid up from your core and placed it flatly on your lower tummy, the front of his body was still pressed against your back, like a back hug, except that he was still sheathed inside your warm walls.

"You should know that I didn't flirt back," you blurted, angling your head so he could trail kisses down the crook of your neck, making your mouth fall open, enjoying the tingling sensation with each kiss he planted.

"I know, baby," he responded, the trail of lazy kisses coming to a stop in the crook of your neck.

"And you also know that I can't prevent people staring at my tits—or my ass," you added with a small chuckle, raising your eyes to his.

He responded with a muffled laugh. "I know," he repeated. "And you know that I was just playing with you back at the restaurant, right?"

You nodded. "Yeah, I do," you smiled. "I thought it was hot."

"Oh, I noticed," he returned a satisfied smile. "Should I do it more often?"

"Yeah, I'd like that," you muttered shyly.

"But only if you do something for me," he said, tilting his head and holding your gaze with his.

"I'm all ears."

"Go on a date with me. A proper date," he added and then you saw the nervous glint in his eyes. "I want to be serious with you."

Your whole body went alight with an ecstatic shudder. "I'd love that."

✾ a/n: heyooooo

it's finally here! omg it took me forever to post this ＞︿＜ i kinda been laying back a little on posting one fic after another and took a long break. i'm so sorry for keeping everyone waiting!

ALSO thank you to everyone who interacted with part 1!! yall are so so lovely i wish i could hug everyone of you 🥺💓

honestly if u ask me i am a firm believer in soft dom kwannie, but some of you guys made me see the hard dom kwannie vision and i see it! i hope this chapter lives up to the expectations hahah

IF YOU LIKED THIS, LET ME KNOW? likes, comments or reblogs are wholeheartedly appreciated. my askbox is always open if you wanna stop by and say hello, share your thoughts, theories, opinions, or even drop your filthy reqs

→ this chapter includes a part of this request by 💌 — nonnie! next chapter will include the rest of your req (i.e.: cum play, hard dom kwannie)! i hope you enjoyed this! and thank you for your request! (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝) ♡

→ big thanks to @glowunderthemoon that helped me with the Hanbin incident scene and for brainstorming with me! (｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

→ thank you to @cvntrlseecvntrlvee who was there in my seungkwannie brain rot and gave me inspo for jealous!kwannie and possessive!kwannie. AND IS THE CULPRIT BEHIND B.I'S CAMEO 😵 and thank you for helping me through this overall!!! love youuuu ᨐฅ♡

✾ STAY TUNED FOR CHAPTER 3! ✾

toodles

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some vernon x acts of service fluff for you ♡

vernon dyed his hair black this morning. he kind of loves it, and he hopes you will too. obviously the execution isn’t perfect; there are some dark stains on his ears and his forehead and he ruined two t-shirts in the process. but he knows how much you love that color on him.

this afternoon, vernon did some shopping. he needed a new shirt and he remembered the pretty bracelet that had caught your eye last time you were in town. he hopes you’ll be happy when he gifts it to you.

and this evening, vernon cooked dinner. it’s not done yet, but it will be in about thirty minutes. mingyu sent him an easy yet sophisticated recipe which he followed to the letter, and it turned out pretty well, at least on the outside. he hopes you’ll like it.

it’s past 7pm when he hears your key turn in the front door’s lock. the oven is a bit greasy, there’s oregano spilled on the counter, the wrapping of your gift is a little messy, and his ears are red from his attempts to remove the dye from his skin. perhaps from stress too.

and suddenly it hits him. he feels stupid. what if he’s doing too much? it is too much, isn’t it?

“hi handsome” your voice pulls him out of his panic as he exits the kitchen, his hands a little moist. you’re ready to lean in for a kiss, it’s almost muscle memory at this point, but the sight of his hair makes you pause.

“love it. and love the new shirt”, you reply, letting your hand brush against the strands of hair on his forehead before finally going in for the kiss. “what’s that smell? did you cook something?”

his ears turn a new shade of red as he grabs your arm to lead you to his living room. “i did, but you don’t wanna go in there right now”, he warns you, grabbing your arm to lead you to the living room instead.

it’s rather unusual for vernon to look so agitated, especially around you. you look at your surroundings, trying to notice anything different.

“is everything okay?”

he nods, a bit faster than usual, before digging his hand in his pocket and pulling out a small gift with a wonky ribbon on top.

“got you a little something today. but you can return it if you don’t like it, or even if you change your mind in a few days. or weeks. or even months, really.”

you’re only now noticing the dye stains on his skin, which draws a chuckle out of you. he looks so frantic it’s almost comical. without a word, you put the gift aside and stand up, pretty sure to know what this is all about.

“i already know i love that gift. i’ll love it forever and i would not trade it for any other. ever. because it comes from you, and that’s all i want.”

completely unfazed by how easily you saw right through him, he looks down at the hand you’re still holding, the one with a brand new silver ring on his fourth finger.

your words were heard and understood, but you can feel him internally tiptoeing around what’s really on his mind. his eyes, however, carry the same sweetness they always do when he looks at you.

“this is gonna sound really dumb but, i just want to make sure you don’t feel pressured to love… my gift. or to commit to it. i promise i won’t be mad if you tell me you don’t want it”, he tells you, grabbing your other hand to get a look at your own ring, the exact same as him.

it’s now 7:25pm, meaning that it’s been almost 24 hours since vernon has gotten down on one knee to ask the most nerve-wracking question of his entire life. 24 hours since you were legally allowed to call him your fiancé, a much awaited upgrade from the ‘boyfriend’ status.

last night had been a dream come true. but this morning, an uneasy feeling had started crawling into vernon’s mind, making him feel like maybe that dream of his would never come true after all.

dyeing his hair, making dinner, buying gifts, he had really thought about doing anything in his power to keep you from second-guessing your answer from yesterday.

still, nothing would calm his mind except maybe hearing the words from your mouth.

“i’ll love your gift because i love you. and because i spent the last 24 hours on cloud nine, thinking about how lucky i am that you proposed”, you told him in your calmest voice. “i’ll be honest, i even spent my entire day practicing saying “my husband” instead of “boyfriend”… and it sounds really, really nice.”

and that is the exact moment when the crushing weight of doubt and insecurity is lifted from vernon’s shoulders.

he still feels a bit stupid, but in a way that feels great, warm and almost comforting. for the second night in a row, he’s overwhelmed by the pure yet simple feeling of knowing his love is perfectly reciprocated.

“so… does that mean you still want me to be your husband?” he asks with a relieved smile as you trap him in the tightest hug, one hand running in his freshly dyed locks.

he loves you and you love him, that’s the one thing he doesn’t need to hope for. he knows it, and oh how he loves knowing it.

⚬ pairing: mingyu x fem!reader ⚬ word count: 54K (grab ur popcorn) ⚬ warnings: alcohol, drinking ⚬ genres: SLOWBURN, back and forth PINING, angst, summer romance, spice/nsfw mentions and smut, eventual friends to lovers, brief high school!au, fluff, slight love triangle, lots of teasing/flirting.

✧✎ synopsis: when you graduate high school, you realize you’re not really going to miss anyone, apart from a cute boy who doesn’t even remember your name. five years later, after accepting an offer to pass the summer at a friend’s lake house, he’s standing right in front of you. the universe doesn’t give second chances very often. you’re not going to let the honey boy slip away twice. 

✧✎ a/n: MY LONGEST FIC YET. i did think abt uploading this as a series, but this feels like something which should be uploaded all at once. i actually did include “chapters” so that it’s easier to find the spot where you left off! ALSO, pls do not feel obligated to read this entire thing! if halfway through you’re like “this isn’t for me” then feel free to step away. i understand perfectly well that it can be difficult to stick with long stories, especially if the plot doesn’t grab us. that is natural and i don’t want anyone feeling guilty abt it. i also included some oc’s which i rarely do, but i thought it might further submerse the reader. thnk you sm for being patient!! 

*! i’ve been made aware that there are certain terms which can be used to sexualize and or exotify those with tanned skin, such as the term ‘honey boy’ itself. this is absolutely not my intention nor is kmg sexualized for his skin tone in this story– however, regardless of intent, it’s important to acknowledge the real consequences these terms can have on poc! it is definitely something to keep in mind for those of us whose fanfic includes artists/oc’s of colour. !*

some final notes:

⇢ here is this fic’s inspo playlist  ⇢ smut chapter is marked so it can be skipped ⇢ taglist included in final author’s note ⇢ i rly hope u guys enjoy it!

CHAPTER 1: THE DOT

Keep reading

camboy! | c.yj.

[ 🎥 ] — after yeonjun's rise in the porn industry, an interview was something he agreed to for fun. however, after he saw you, the interviewer, he wished it was a fake interview where he gets to fuck you.

cw : pornstar!yeonjun. unedited word vomit fictional magazine company that apparently also exists in real life.

a/n ; i apologize for my sins i swear I'll change 🙏🏼 and this is a drabble, not a fic! i might turn it into one over time ♡

after you reached out to him a few weeks ago with greetings and compliments, and asking can I interview you some time? I'd like to know what it's like to be a person who earns through the adult industry, and with your fame, I know that you're just the right person., his first, honest reaction was to laugh. i mean, seriously?

he was laughing at the irony of the fact that he was being interviewed. i mean, who was willing enough to take out time of their busy, hectic schedule to interview a man who earns bread by having a dildo inside of him? he had to know. he wanted to know what this person was like.

he did think that this could be completely false and you could be a potential threat, trying to lure him into your little cage with cheese like he's a fucking rat, capture him and do bad things to him like he'd heard with various nefarious acts of people against people with 'easy' fame.

"can I get proof that you're actually an interviewer?"

to which he immediately got a response with a photo of a xerox copy of your identification document, namely at a popular company called mode de vie. he could see the black and white ink that framed the photo stuck on the top right corner, and he knew that he had to see that fucking face in real life. if that's how you look in a awfully captured picture, so captivating, bold, and confidence outlining your eyes in the form of sharp eyeliner, he had to see that face in front of him, asking him questions about his body count or something else he doesn't give two shits about.

he'd said sure to your offer almost immediately now that he saw that it was a real interviewer after him. and now that it was time, he drove to the place where you both agreed to be at — a café which was relatively close to his house and your office.

"I'm glad you came!" you said as you shook his hand that would eventually get sweaty from just sitting opposite to you. what the fuck? he seriously considered telling you to quit this stupid, serious job and just join him in his public sex life. you were stunning.

now that he saw your hair open, framing your face, and that fucking sharp-ass eyeliner, he was mad that he didn't dress up nicely and instead came in a hoodie. who wants to miss a chance of getting a baddie?

he thanked the lords he'd long forgotten when you told him this is just an audio based interview which will later be turned into a text format.

while you continued asking him questions about everything, from "fuck-a-fan" to "how did your mother find out?", he'd needed to ask you to repeat your questions several times. his eyes kept drifting down, down to your chest.

'why the fuck are you wearing a top so low-cut? is it to provoke me or something?' he'd think. he legitimately wants to put his hand on the table, pushing himself towards you and grabbing one of your tits. it's pissing him off he can't.

okay, so maybe he was a pervert like one of his friends liked to say. but it wasn't his fault when you were asking him questions about his sex life while looking at him with those eyes that were possibly tearing his clothes off.

in his world, that is.

'do you want to fuck me too, or am I trippin'?'

he knew he had to keep his filthy hands, his filthy thoughts, to himself. c'mon, it's a fucking interview, yeonjun. grow up. you've had plenty of girls and guys to fuck in your life. from small and petite, to taller than you. from fucking someone to getting fucked. you've done it all. why are you so captivated by this woman?

maybe it was the way you had your makeup done that had him wishing he could see it smeared all over with a new makeup product; his cum, or maybe it was your tits that were practically begging to be the thing he shoves his face in tonight. but no, it was the way you carried yourself.

there was this... this aura, this radiation of confidence that was magnetic enough for him to be pulled to you.

under the table, he was practically going to rub one out. he kept adjusting his pants, kept palming his dick that was straining against his pants and standing up against his thoughts of not fucking you ever.

ugh, just how fucking good you'd look on his bed, and he swears he could go above his rounds per fucking streak of 4 with you; from classic missionary to the amazon position, from sixty-nine to his foot on your face while he fucked your ass from the back. fuck, he'd even let you peg him, something he's always refused to do.

just how good you'd look while sliding your strap-on inside of him, his eyes going wide, as well as your smile at the sight of his pretty face. he thinks you'd like some crazy songs playing in the background, similar to the vibe of playboi carti.

fuck, he'd hold onto your tits for support, comfort, for just the fucks of it no matter who is topping.

"um, excuse me?" you asked when he spaced out in the middle.

"yeah?" he said, looking up from the table where both of your milkshakes resided.

"thank you for the interview. i appreciate it a lot!" you said, smiling at him, completely unaware of the junk he had in his brain about you. you put out your hand for a friendly yet professional handshake.

"oh, yeah, of course." he muttered out, responding to your hand with his that was definitely sweaty.

as you closed your notepad and stopped the recording, he looked up at your face finally.

"can I ask you a question too?"

"oh, yes, of course." you said, looking up at him with a face of genuine curiosity. maybe it would be something like —

"when will this be posted?"

"where can I read it?"

"will there be a hardcopy?"

"would you ever fuck me if you could?"

and suddenly, this was the first time you regretted not recording the aftermath of an interview.

asking bf!enhypen if you can add a random song to your sex playlist

warnings : fake texts, suggestive, mentions of death (jays), jealousy (jays)

» XO, Miss Decelis

pairings! rich kids!hyung line x fem!reader, choi yeonjun x fem!reader briefly synopsis! perfection used to be all you strove for, keeping everything that didn't fit the image a secret from the world, but an accident that nearly took your life made you reconsider what kind of person you truly wanted to be... warnings! smut (mdni! 18+), mentions of bullying, joking about past trauma to cope, angst, jealousy etc. (warnings will be added) taglist! open a/n! never thought i'd be back to writing fanfic on tumblr but here we are... i guess even 6 years later, i'm still the same person i was when i was 15... just btw, the pairings can change as i write more since right now, i have only officially written the first sooo... don't take it for granted

RESOLUTION 1: actually enjoy a party... (Lee Heeseung x Reader)

synopsis! lee heeseung has known you your whole life. he has always kept you at an arm’s length due to his childhood pettiness after being forced to spend time with you as kids. but now that you were back in town, going to school again, he finds his resolve to dislike you at all costs crumbling between his fingers. as if it hadn’t always been chipping away throughout the years.

word count! 5.4k

read here!

RESOLUTION 2: not be a virgin anymore... (Sim Jake x Reader)

synopsis! sim jake has always liked you, but as heeseung’s best friend, he felt weird trying to talk to you. now, with the rules around you loosening, jake refuses to miss his chance to win you over.

word count! ~8.4k

read here!

RESOLUTION 3: become popular at school (Park Jay x Reader)

synopsis! park jay always thought of you as the annoying little miss perfect who could do no wrong in the eyes of his, yours and heeseung’s parents. he wasn’t fond of you in the slightest for that very reason. but when you dropped the act after your perfect image had shattered in front of everyone, he can’t help but feel drawn to you. when he discovers another one of your secrets, he thinks he might truly have to ruin you for the whole world to know how far from perfect you truly are.

word count! ~12k

read here!

RESOLUTION 4: maybe get a boyfriend? (Park Sunghoon x Reader)

synopsis! park sunghoon always preferred admiring you from afar. because to him, you were untouchable. as the daughter of his career’s biggest sponsor, he was scared that the smallest slight upon your person could make your father withdraw. but you were not the fragile pretty flower sunghoon thought you to be. it was only his luck that you ran right into his arms when you didn’t know what to do about the rest of his friends.

word count! tbd

read here!

Good morning, Decelis! Guess who’s back?

And no, I’m not talking about myself at the moment, but rather, a princess of a successful empire, and our beloved black sheep of the school. It’s quite ironic, isn’t it? In a place where money is power, she has none despite the billions she’s meant to inherit. Poor girl, wouldn’t you say?

But rumours have it that our princess is back from her prolonged summer break abroad, and she’s different than we remember.

It seems that the good girl image has been thrown to the wolves, and the princess is back with a bite of her own.

I’m most definitely looking forward to what this year brings us.

XO, Miss Decelis

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐖𝐀𝐘 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐈𝐄 - 𝐒𝐉𝐘

▏pairings. ROCKSTAR!JAKE x REPORTER!READER

▏desc. JAKE is sick of everyone judging him. He’s famous, loves to party and loves to fuck even more, what’s so wrong with that? When a Goody-two shoes reporter makes a highly criticizing article about him and his bandmates they don’t take it very well, enacting a plan to get her to fall in love with him and change her story.

▏warnings. SMUT mdni, partying, drug use, alcohol use, they’re in strip clubs a lot. Ft, the members of enhypen as SHOUT OUT (the rock band).

▏W.C. ESTIMATING 12k + words

COMING SOON.

(. if you’d like to be tagged reply and i’ll tag you IF you have your age in your bio. MDNI. This might take a week or more to come out its going to be a long fic bear with me- loosely based off the ask that @ikeuverse sent, i’ll still be making a smaller one shot angst of all the members but after talking with you i got the idea for this! Thank youuuu).

BED CHEM

amidst trying to keep your gpa up and not get kicked off the cheer team, you take your friend’s advice and ask jake sim, one of the smartest students in your campus, to tutor you. you see him as a snarky know-it-all who’s obsessed with correcting your every mistake, and he sees you as a dumb cheerleader with a rep for breaking hearts. but as things unfold, you discover you both have something to learn from each other, and it’s a lot more than just algebra.

pairing) nerd!jake x cheerleader!reader

genre) smut/pwp, enemies to lovers, college au, fluff, angst

contents) f!reader, popular!jake/reader, jake's a smart a.ss [& a jerk at first but let him cook], basketball player!heeseung/jay, temporary reader x hee, exes, misunderstood reader, brief conversation about throwing up, eventual pining, desc. of anxiety, fear of emotional intimacy, jealousy, lack of communication, happy ending, [ft. itzy's chaeryeong, skz's felix, & layla]

smut warnings) under cut!

wc) 14.5k

now playing) bed chem — sabrina carpenter

notes) i took the lyrics “come right on me, i mean camaraderie!” and ran with it. fic’s moodboard here!

smut warnings) several smut scenes, switch!jake/reader, angry s.ex?, s.ex in locker room, jake fu.cks reader in cheer uniform, ti.tty sucking, or.al fixation!jake, munch!jake, or.al s.ex, degra.dation, begging, hair pulling, c.um swallowing, exhibi.tionism, reader makes jake almost c.um in his pants during class, s.ex in janitor’s closet [they do it in a bed eventually lol], lots of kissing, praise, flexible!reader, pull out method [dont], jake slaps reader’s thigh once, petnames [baby, little/baby/good girl], reader mentions being on the pill, raw s.ex

the gym is bustling, filled by cheerleaders and the basketball team as you all practice for the game on wednesday.

“okay! 5 minute break and then we’ll start those high kicks again!” your cheer captian announces after confirming to your coach with some silent hand gestures.

you follow your team as they walk to the bleachers, most grabbing their water bottles or sitting down and wiping the sweat off their skin with a towel.

you reach into your duffel bag, rummaging with your hand blindly for a few moments before realizing you don’t feel your water bottle. unzipping it completely, you search for a bit before letting your head drop with an exhausted sigh.

“what’s wrong?” chaeryeong asks from the seat above yours as she redoes her ponytail.

“i somehow forgot my water.”

“oh, you can have some of mine!” she offers, raising her owala to you.

“do you know how much bacteria is probably in that?” you smile with a teasing grimace, even though you really do mean what you say.

“wow, not even a thank you!” chae pretends to be hurt, putting an offended hand to her chest. “i bet you’re a stanley girly, aren’t you?”

“nope. just a plain water bottle i got from target. secure screw cap, no straw, easy to clean.”

“are you trying to sell it to me?” chae quirks a playful brow and you laugh, waving a hand in front of you as you start to walk towards the gym’s exit. “if you want to drink from your mold filled bottle go ahead. i’m gonna go to the water fountain.”

chaeryeong sticks her tongue out at you just as you enter the hallway, so you make sure to pop your head back in and do the same childish expression at her before approaching the fountain and leaning down to take a drink.

“oh! s-sorry.” a deep voice says as you see sneakers suddenly appear in your downward view. you wipe your mouth and lift your head up to see heeseung, who evidently just came out of the restroom and almost walked right into you.

his hair remains in his face despite him brushing it back with a muscular arm, glistening biceps almost distracting you enough that you forget to answer. but once your eyes travel from his sculpted arms, to his jersey that clings to his sweaty chest, and finally his sweet, doe eyes that stare at you, you remember that he’s expecting you to reply.

“no, it’s okay! don’t worry about it.”

“did you forget your water too?” he chuckles, the sound sending a flurry of butterflies to erupt in your stomach.

“yeah…” you answer lamely.

apparently all of your hot cheerleader mojo goes down the drain when you’re in front of lee heeseung, your college’s top basketball player. (it also doesn’t help that you’ve been crushing on him for a good month now.)

“too?” you echo, unable to think of anything else to keep the conversation going but desperately wanting to. despite having regular practices in the same vicinity, this is the first conversation you’ve had, aside from some lingering stares and a few shared smiles.

“jay usually brings a cooler of drinks, but he didn’t this time. probably forgot.”

“oh, pre game nerves, perhaps?” you joke, smiling and tilting your head teasingly.

“we’re not nervous.” heeseung smirks with a flirty tone. “we always win.”

“cocky, are we?”

“maybe. or maybe you cheering for me throughout the game is my lucky charm.”

you bite down your grin to keep yourself under control, delighted at how well your dry conversation has turned into some playful flirting. you hoped he was into you, but you’re not going to assume that from a few distant smiles.

“what makes you think i’m cheering just for you?”

heeseung chuckles and steps closer, you noting how he has to tilt his head down to look at you because he’s so damn tall. his eyes zero in on yours, an intensity filling the air as he takes a breath to speak—

but right before he can, another voice interrupts as it echos down the hallway.

“yo, hee! they’re needing you back, man.” a shorter man runs up, it not taking you long to recognize him.

it’s jake sim, one of the smartest seniors on your campus.

you feel like you’re from completely different worlds whenever you see him. he’s popular like you, yes. but he has a pretty clean rep with perfect grades to match. professor’s love him for his kiss-ass attitude and students…well.

they want to fuck him— or him fuck them. either way. nothing really matters to anyone when your face is as cute as his and you have a hot aussie accent.

not that you relate to the any of those sentiments. you actually find him annoying as fuck.

“oh,” jake mumbles when he notices you behind heeseung’s larger frame, sounding almost bothered by your presence.

well the feeling’s mutual.

“come on, dude. they sent me to get you.” he further urges, grabbing heeseung’s arm.

“what are you even doing here, jake?” you ask with a hand raising to your hip, only a hint of your annoyance at the interruption showing in your tone. he’s not on the basketball team, neither cheer. he has no reason to be here.

“not right now, pom-poms.” the boy dismisses, not even bothering to look at you as he drags heeseung off.

you scoff in utter disbelief at his rudeness.

he always steals the spotlight when you’re about to answer a question in your one shared class, and now he’s stealing your man? (granted, he’s not your man— but he could have been, if jake hadn’t ran over!)

you stand and wonder what he was about to say. what if that conversation could have ended with him finally asking for your number!

“y/n! c’mon, girl! it’s go time!” one of your team member’s call out from the gym doorway.

you sigh before running to join your squad.

(❤︎)

it’s taken you to nearly be under your minimum gpa to admit that you’re failing algebra, a course you’re required to take. not only can this harm your future, but you could get kicked off the cheer team.

“well, you have to do something!” chaeryeong whisper-yells at you as you sit in physics class.

“i don’t want to have to pay for a tutor, i’m broke enough as it is.”

“then ask one of your friends.” chae suggests.

“…none of my friends are that smart,” you giggle under your breath, chaeryeong slapping you on the arm and causing an echo to resound in the room. like two mischievous children, chae retracts her hand to her lap and you straighten your posture, waiting to make sure no one is looking over at you.

a few moments later, and chae leans closer to you, eyes staring forward in an attempt to be more subtle.

"just ask jake. he's an engineer major. he’s gotta be good at algebra. and i heard he's loaded, so he doesn’t even need your money."

"hell no." you answer plainly, lips falling into a straight line as you glance over at the boy who’s rows away from you, nearly at the front of the class.

try hard.

"oh, come on, y/n. he's not that bad."

"he is. and besides, we’re not friends and i couldn’t ever bring myself to ask a favor of him, nevertheless for free!”

“he’s your best shot, dude. it’s either this, or officially screw yourself over.”

chaeryeong’s words— though not eloquently put, are true. and they annoyingly ring in your head for the remainder of the class.

chae hurries out to go to her next class, as does most everyone else. but you have a little bit of time.

so you linger in your seat, watching how meticulous jake is about placing his things in his backpack, wondering how he manages to straighten his glasses in the most egotistical way possible. you wait until jake starts walking towards the exit and is farther away from the professor, not wanting to have this conversation right in front of him. finally (reluctantly) you stand up and catch up to jake’s side.

he doesn’t bother slowing down, continuing to walk.

“hey, uh- jake,” you begin, feeling weird to say his name to his face. you cut to the chase, not caring enough to keep up impressions with him. “look, i need a tutor. i’m-“

“no, sorry.” he cuts you off simply, leaving you a tad stunned as your stride is broken. you stare at the back of his head until he turns a corner, then you go jogging after him.

“what? but, i-i”

“i don’t want to have to spend my free time tutoring someone.” jake explains, glancing at you before looking away just as quickly.

“i can pay you.” you say, innerly embarrassed at how fast your resolve has crumbled. chaeryeong would be laughing at you if she could see this right now.

“not interested.”

you can almost hear her in your brain…

“well, there’s gotta be something!”

jake finally comes to a sudden halt, almost causing you to run into his backpack before he turns to face you.

“i’m assuming it’s grammar you need help with?”

your initially surprised expression drops into a glare as you reply with a clearly fed up, “no. algebra.”

jake seems to ponder this for a moment, before smiling at you in a way that actually seems like it may be genuine (or at least not entirely snarky).

“walk my dog.”

“huh?” is that a euphemism for something?

“my dog, layla. she’s full of energy but sometimes i’m just too tired after classes or work. do you like animals?”

“i’m a biology major.”

jake looks a bit stunned, eyes blinking to open wider as they skim over your appearance for a second.

“what?” you start, very clearly offended. “why do you look so surprised?”

“i just thought it’d be…something else.”

“like what?”

“i don’t know. something in the creative field?”

“that’s stereotypical.”

jake bites on his bottom lip, you realizing he’s trying to conceal a smile, but before you can get mad about it— he continues.

“look, if you want it, we have a deal. yes or no, pom-poms?”

a flare of anger sparks inside you every single time he refers to you as ‘pom-poms’.

with lips pressed into an agitated line, you stretch out your open palm demandingly. “give me your phone.”

“why?”

“so i can give you my number and type in the contact name myself. my names y/n, not pom-poms.”

jake laughs under his breath, handing you his phone and watching as you type in your information.

“so is that a yes?”

“yes. can we meet tomorrow?”

“at my place.” jake agrees. “jay’s my only roommate so it should be less distracting for you.”

you hand jake back his phone, the man giggling at the little wave emoji you sent to yourself through his number so you’d have it in your phone.

“by the way, i already knew your name.”

“then why do you always call me pom-poms?”

“becaause…you always have them?” jake answers like it’s obvious. you scoff, putting an unamused hand to your hip.

“i don’t have them right now, do i?”

“no, and it’s honestly a little eerie.” he smirks, clearly intentionally getting under your skin and enjoying every second of it.

“whatever,” you exhale, completely over the conversation. “i gotta go to my next class. see ya.”

“see ya, pom-poms.”

…jerk.

(❤︎)

heeseung was right, they won the game, and his team wanted to go out and celebrate. it wasn’t a big win or anything, just a casual competition, but every now and then they like to celebrate their wins by going out to eat or a casual hang out at someone’s dorm. you also think they do it so they have an excuse to invite you and your cheer squad to hang out.

and this time was no different. after the game you all piled in friend’s cars and headed over to a small but good local restaurant nearby. unfortunately, you never got a chance to talk to heeseung. the restaurant was smaller and a bit packed with all of you in there, and you and hee ended up being seated far away from each other. all the different conversations and bustle of the restaurant covered up anyone’s voices besides who was right next to you, so you couldn’t even hear him.

still, it was fun. you ended up rolling into bed a little past 1 am.

which you’re now really regretting as you had to wake up at 5 am to get ready and rush to conditioning practice. once you’ve finished your drills, showered, and are walking to your first class of the day, you decided to text jake.

you: hey 👋 we still down for today

jake sim: Yes.

okay. one text and you’re already seeing some similarities in how he texts with your 60 year old uncle.

you: there a certain time i should come

you: also can u give me ur building number

jake: Is there*

you: huh

jake: IS there a certain time I should come?*

jake: Do you have something against vowels and punctuation?

you: omg!!

you: just tell me the fuckin time and address!!?!

you: is that enough punctuation for you?

jake: …

jake: Fucking*

(❤︎)

after cheer practice you hop in your car and enter in the address that was like pulling teeth for jake to finally give you. you can tell by looking at the address that it’s off campus, and as you pull up in jake’s driveway you realize chaeryeong was right when she said jake was loaded.

okay, maybe not loaded loaded, but he’s definitely well off, judging by the outside of his very nice home, perfectly stripe cut grass and shapely shrubbery. there’s even multiple cars here, which you note with a bit of confusion.

you stand and knock at the big, sculpted wooden doors for a minute, before simply trying the knob, which is luckily unlocked.

when you step inside you here distant voices.

deciding to follow the sound, it leads you to a billiard room where you see heeseung, jake and jay playing pool. they’re all stood around while a blonde haired man has his back to you, leaned over as he angles his shot. they still haven’t noticed your presence yet, and you feel incredibly awkward despite being invited to be here.

“um…jake?”

at your voice, all the men turn at once, the blonde man revealing his face to you.

you’re struck with horror as you both stare wide eyed at each other. someone’s speaking but you don’t catch it, everything sounding like it’s under water.

it’s lee felix. aka your ex that you abruptly ghosted after almost a year into your relationship.

“y/n?” felix utters, and it’s like you just breached the water’s surface, a sudden wave of consciousness washing over you as everything comes back into focus.

“y/n, i’m so sorry! i legitimately forgot!” jake says, and you take your opportunity to look at him and away from felix.

“it’s- its okay, i just…um,” you’re about to offer to leave, before heeseung speaks up.

“just stay, y/n. ever played pool?” he smiles sweetly, and the goosebumps that have raised on your skin soothe a little at his comforting expression.

“yeah! we can play cutthroat!” jay exclaims, already going over to the rack to get you a cue.

“she can just use mine.” heeseung stops him, coming to your side and causing butterflies to erupt in your stomach.

“we’ve come close enough to poking someone’s eye out already, i don’t think we need more pointy sticks in the equation.” he laughs.

“okay, but i’m going first, since i was going to win that last game anyways.”

“as if, bro!” jay tries with jake. “i was gonna win!”

as heeseung moves to intervene the two boys and rearrange the balls on the table, at some point felix silently appears by your side, startling you as he softly says “have you played cutthroat before?”

“no,” you answer just as softly as the boys fill in the silence with their bickering. “i don’t even know how to play regular pool.”

felix laughs with a shining smile, and your chest fills with bittersweet nostalgia at the familiar yet almost forgotten memory of the deep timber of felix’s laugh and the crinkle of his nose that often pairs with it.

“don’t worry, cutthroat is actually a pretty good game for your first time despite the name. want me to show you how to hold your cue?”

“is that the stick thing?” you ask, and felix bursts into higher pitched giggles, the warmth of his aura making the tension in your body melt away.

(❤︎)

so much for jake’s place being ‘less distracting’. it’s 9 pm and you don’t think you’re actually going to have a session with jake tonight. but oh well, you’re actually having fun!

after about two hours of playing pool and just hanging out, you ask jake where the bathroom is before walking down the long hallway.

as you’re walking back, coming up to the archway of jake’s living room you all ended up migrating to, you hear heeseung speaking.

“i didn’t know you were tutoring her?”

“yeah,” jake answers with a huffed laugh. “i haven’t actually tutored her yet, and i probably never will.”

your brows furrow as you halt your feet, standing in the hallway silently to listen.

“what do you mean?” another voice asks. you think it’s jay.

“i don’t think she’s really looking to brush up on her algebra, man. she’s a typical dumb cheerleader, she’s probably just over here because she knows i’m friends with the basketball team.”

“dude-“ heeseung starts, but another thicker aussie accent interrupts.

“that’s fucked, man! how can you say that about her?”

there’s a tense few moments of silence, and you’re not sure if you wished you could see what’s happening or glad that you can’t. you blink as moisture starts to build up in your eyes.

“me? what about you? i’m surprised you’re defending her. didn’t she drop you like you meant nothing to her right when your relationship started to get serious?”

you can’t. you can’t listen anymore.

as quiet and quickly as possible, you head back to the bathroom before a watery gasp can expose your presence. a hand is rubbing at your eyes as tears stream down your face when your hands feel the cool metal of the doorknob.

you shut the door behind you and slide down it, onto your butt, crying into your knees that you wrap your arms around.

then you feel something wet swipe up your leg and you flinch, looking up to see a blonde little dog looking at you curiously.

“oh,” you whisper aloud to yourself, trying not to think about how stuffy you sound. “you must be layla, huh?”

the dogs mouth opens up to let her tongue hang out, appearing like she’s giving you a smile as she sits down obediently, tail wagging behind her.

you can’t help but let out a somber little giggle, wiping a tear off your cheek before leaning over to pet her on the head.

“you’re cute.” you smile, letting her soft fur and rhythmic panting calm you down.

a few minutes later the door opens, jake’s head popping in.

“oh, there you are.” he says, watching how layla is spread out on her back in your lap as you pet her belly.

“did you get lost?”

“uh, yeah.” you take the excuse, gently pushing layla off and standing up. “couldn’t find the bathroom.”

“heeseung and felix are about to leave, but they wanted to say bye.” jake explains, and you follow him out the door and to wherever the boys are.

“okay.” you reply, trying to make your voice sound smooth and not like you were just crying.

“hey, jake?”

the aussie looks over at you as you continue walking.

“can we still get a short tutoring sesh in?” you ask innocently on the outside, but inwardly there’s the burn of spite in your lungs. “i know it’s kinda late but i really need it.”

“oh…yeah, sure.” jake answers, looking away from you.

you bite down a salty smirk.

(❤︎)

after going over to jake’s house you turned his texts to mute and haven’t looked ever since.

it’s saturday night, which means football competition. a neighboring team is at your college’s home field to play head to head, and right now, it’s anybody’s game.

you’re in the middle of a cupie stunt right now, your base holding your body up with one hand as you focus on balancing and keeping on a big smile.

once your team’s routine is over you go to sit on the sidelines as the announcer’s voice booms over the speakers.

“hey, i’m gonna go get a gatorade.” chaeryeong taps on your shoulder, pointing at the food vendor who walks up the bleacher steps. “do you want anything?”

you turn to look, which proves to be a mistake as you make direct eye contact with none other than jake sim, who’s staring right at you amongst the crowd (and he looks a little ticked).

you snap your head back straight, letting out a yelped ‘no’. chae luckily doesn’t really pick up on your change of tone with how loud the crowd is, and replies with an ‘okay’ before jogging after the descending vendor.

she comes back a few moments later with her drink and a bag of chips.

“i don’t know how you eat during the games, aren’t you afraid you’ll get sick during a routine?”

“you’re on tiktok too much.” chae replies as she pops open the bag. “stop watching those horrible clips. it’s not very likely to happen at all. and i’m not a flyer like you. even if i puked, it wouldn’t get on anyone.”

“okaay! sorry i brought it up, getting grossed oout!”

chaeryeong laughs, bumping her shoulders with yours.

“hey, tell me about how it went with jake?”

you sigh with a roll of your eyes. “he only taught me for like, an hour.”

“oh!” chae squeals amidst chewing. “perhaps that was because you were too busy falling in love?!”

“oh my god, shut up, chae!”

the girl takes a quick swig of her drink before doing the exact opposite of what you asked. “do you know how many couples start off hating each other? you know, that burning anger you have for him could make for some hot se—“

“chaeryeong!” you gasp and chae laughs at how you sound like a scandalized victorian woman who just saw someone’s ankles. “stop it! that’s never happening.”

“i bet you’d have really good bed chem.” she states like it’s a fact.

“whatever.” you say just as the stadium erupts.

your home team doesn’t win, but your cheer squad goes out on the field to do your last routine anyways. you all go to the locker room to change after, most of your team moving quick to go to some party.

“you not coming, y/n?” your friend asks, chaeryeong also looking at you for your answer.

“i don’t think so, guys. maybe next time.”

eventually everyone walks out, leaving you alone as you set your pom-poms down.

amidst taking off your top, your hair falls into your face, leading you to shake your head as you blindly place your shirt inside your locker. when you open your eyes, you spot jake in your peripheral, staring at you wide eyed like an idiot while holding open the door.

“jake!” you screech, moving to cover your chest with your arms. “what the fuck!”

“i’m- i-i’m sorry, i was just trying to find you-“

“i don’t care, pervert! don’t come in the locker room!”

even with the distance, you can see how jake’s ears turn red. his face morphs from embarrassed panic to mad (and still embarrassed), the boy stomping closer until he’s right in front of you.

“i’m not a pervert, you kept ignoring my texts! we had a deal, you know!”

“well, you pissed me off!”

“me! how did i piss you off?”

“you- you’re…so fucking annoying!” you let out, not even knowing where you’re going with this as you get up in jake’s face.

“you ruined my chances with heeseung and act like an ass all the time!”

“ruined your chances! how did i ruin your chances with hee?” jake asks, and you back down a bit, not wanting to tell jake that you heard what he said that night.

at your silence, jake takes the opportunity to continue. “i mean, yeah. i don’t want you to be with heeseung, but that doesn’t mean i’d meddle—“

“and why don’t you want me to be with heeseung,” you interject, getting closer inch by inch to jake’s face as he stands his ground, giving you the same piercing eyes you challenge him with. “is it because…you think i’ll break his heart?”

you try to ask the question with just as much bite as your previous, hoping your insecurities don’t show through.

jake blanches, slightly taken aback by the directness of your question before he doubles down ten fold, pressing closer to you until your noses almost touch.

“yeah. maybe i do.” he grumbles to admit, breath puffing into your face.

you inhale to scoff, but then your chest brushes up against his, and suddenly you both remember that you’re only in a bra and cheer skirt.

jake glances down, eyes flitting over how your boobs press together when you have your arms angrily crossed, before meeting your gaze again.

the next thing you know, your lips are on his.

you don’t know who leaned in first, all you know is that he tastes like lemonade, tart but sweet enough to leave you wanting more.

his hands immediately go to your breasts, pushing you up against the lockers in his haste as the metal clangs and echos around the room, covering up your soft moan of shock.

your hands naturally move to rest at his stomach, where your surprised to feel the firm divots and raises of abs.

“do you-…do you workout?” you pant after parting from jake’s lips to take a breath. the boy doesn’t bother stopping, trailing his mouth from the corner of yours to down your neck, kissing and mouthing along your bra strap.

“can i take this off?” he asks, ignoring your question. you nod with a quiet little ‘yes’, jake reaching behind you to snap open your bra with one hand.

you try not to be too impressed (and fail), noting to yourself that the rumors must be true and this nerd does indeed fuck.

jake hastily guides your bra down your arms and tosses it to the side, latching his plush lips to your bud as his veiny hands continue to kneed at your breasts.

“oh my god,” you whisper under your breath, fingers moving to run through his hair as you let your head lean back against the locker. jake lets out a breathy groan at the feeling of you on his tongue and how you’re unconsciously giving small tugs to the tufts of his hair.

you whimper and flinch at the ghost of jake’s teeth on your nipple, quite literally feeling the curve of his smile on your skin as he glances up at you, not bothering to detach from your tits as his eyes sparkle with mischief. you let out a sigh as you smirk down at him, giving a now conscious, firm pull to his hair and watching how jake’s eyes shut in the stinging pleasure, a throaty moan escaping him.

“you’re a jerk.”

jake kisses from the swell of your breast and down your stomach in response, as though apologizing. now on his knees, he pauses at the waistband of your skirt. your hands move to take it off before jake stops you, sliding his palms over the material and to your thighs, squeezing at the plushness of them as he moves his head downward.

butterfly kisses are now being pressed up your legs until jake’s face is fully under your skirt. you put a hand over your mouth as you feel jake slowly sliding your panties down, trying to contain a needy moan at his teasing.

“damn, you’re wet.” jake whispers, the breath of his voice tickling your skin and causing your legs to tremble.

“please?” you whine, but only barely, still trying to hold on to some of your dignity.

“please what, pom-poms?” jake asks, and you can hear the smugness in his tone even while his face is hidden.

your eyes roll.

“oh my god, jake. please just shut the fuck up and eat me out!”

“can do.”

that’s all the warning jake gives before burying his face in your pussy, going at it like he’s starved.

you bite down on your lip to keep from crying out, not wanting jake to know just how good his mouth feels. (god knows his ego doesn’t need the boost.) you think you’re doing pretty good at keeping quiet, even when jake flicks your clit with his tongue, you only flinch slightly.

but jake takes notice of your silence, and it’s pissing him off.

so he runs a digit through the wetness of your pussy before pressing the entirety of it into your hole roughly, feeling how tightly your walls clench around him.

“f- fuck!” you startle.

it’s only one finger, but the length of it and the stretch his knuckles provide as he pumps them in and out of you mercilessly is making you come undone quicker than you would have thought.

jake’s making lots of slurping noises as his tongue licks at your leaking hole, nose nuzzling over your pulsing clit.

fuck, this man knows how to eat pussy. and when he presses a second finger inside of you, you know you’ve lost the quiet game. a whine comes from your throat as you squeeze your eyes shut, hips moving in small motions to meet the thrust of jake’s fingers.

he’s growling against you, eyes shut as he seems lost in the taste of you.

it isn’t until your head rolls to the side in pleasure that you notice he’s tugged his pants down just enough for his (to your shock, very big) cock to spring out, jerking himself off furiously as pre cum dribbles from the head.

“are you- fucking serious?” you laugh breathlessly, jake not stoping but opening his eyes to give you a confused glare.

“you’re getting off just from eating my pussy? how many of your hookups know you’re a munch?”

jake’s suddenly pulling his mouth off and fingers out of you with a cold look, but the hand on his cock never slows. if anything, it gets faster.

“if you’re gonna be a brat then i’m not making you cum.”

you’re thrown off, not expecting him to react this way, or how strangely embarrassed yet turned on it makes you feel. something about how angrily jake glares at you while he fists his big cock, even while he’s the one kneeling at your feet, it makes you feel oddly small.

and as much as it pains you to admit, desperate.

“i’m- i’m…sorry?”

jake lets out a humored scoff, shaking his head.

“you’re gonna have to do better than that. beg.”

you grit your teeth as you let out a frustrated sigh, unable to make eye contact as you force yourself to speak.

“please…make me cum.”

jake gives you an utterly unimpressed expression. “or i can just leave-“

“no! please, i- i’m sorry. i’ll be good, i wont be a brat anymore. just please make me cum?”

jake’s lips slowly stretch into a smirk that makes chills run down your spine, watching as his hand returns to his dick to rub over the leaking tip.

you unconsciously lick your lips and swallow.

“you’re gonna be a good girl for me?” he asks darkly.

“y- yes. i’ll be a good girl.”

jake’s diving back in with double the passion, his fingers slipping right back in as he curls them just right inside of you, hurling you towards climax.

“ah, j-jake, please! need- can i?” you pant, hardly able to get a word out as he’s sucking at your clit, giving it special attention.

he hums and you take it as a yes, thighs trembling as you cum all over jake’s chin.

“my turn.” jake growls, standing up and pushing you down to kneel in front of him, barely giving you any time to catch your breath before he’s shoving his dick in your mouth. still, you moan out happily, admittedly dying to have him in your mouth the moment you saw his pretty, pink tip and how big he is.

“that’s it, suck my cock like a good little slut.” jake orders, admiring how hot you look sitting on the floor in your short little cheer skirt. he grabs your hair in two fists, chuckling at how it looks like makeshift pigtails as he pulls on your hair to guide you further down his cock.

you sputter, struggling to take his bulbous tip down your throat but loving it and the stretch your jaw has to make to accommodate him.

he’s literally fucking your face, letting out little groans as he harshly snaps his hips against you.

once he looks down and sees your pretty eyes already looking up at him, it’s over.

jake deeply growls when he presses your face flat against his pelvis, cock shoved deeply down your throat as he pumps out his hot load, forcing you to swallow it all. (not that you wouldn’t have anyway.)

jake pulls you off of him with a wet pop, trying to it to ogle at how you lick his cum off your lips.

tucking himself back inside his pants, you look for your own clothes as jake finds a towel to wipe his hands and face off with, before tossing it in a nearby hamper.

“um,” jake starts, biting his lip as an awkward air takes over between you. “i am actually sorry, about…whatever i did that’s made you feel like i ruined it with heeseung for you.”

“it’s…it’s whatever. i’m sorry too, i kinda lost it.”

jake laughs softly, the sound breaking a little of the tension as he looks up to make direct eye contact. “i think we both did, but it’s okay. maybe we should just call it even?”

“sure,” you smile, combing your hair out of your face, trying to make it look like you didn’t just get eaten out and throat fucked in the locker room. (though you doubt anyone is around at this point, or at least you hope.)

“i’ll come around sometime to walk layla, just shoot me a text…and i really will answer this time.” you joke, jake taking the initiative to grab your cheer bag for you.

“sooo…do you still want me to be your tutor?”

“yeah! i do.” you answer simply, an annoying little voice in the back of your head saying that maybe chaeryeong was right, and you really did just need to fuck the frustration out of each other. even though there wasn’t actually any fucking…

“i still have something i’m wondering though,” you say as the two of you walk out of the locker room, jake letting you lead the way out of the stadium.

“what were you doing at basketball practice? on monday.”

“oh, well, normally heeseung comes with jay to our place and we game or something, after their practice. but i got off early and just decided to drop in.”

“where do you work?” you ask, looking over to jake and watching how he slightly swings your bag side to side as he walks.

“part time at the cafe, in the cafeteria…you haven’t seen me?” he asks jokingly, a faux pout on his lips.

“no.” you play along, answering ‘smugly’ as you lift your chin up, before giggling. “no, i usually have my lunch in the library.”

“oh, toooo…study?”

“i wish. if i spent that time studying i probably wouldn’t need a tutor,“ you admit with a bashful smile. “but usually i’m reading something.”

“oh! what do you like to read?”

“ah,” you whine, covering your face as you let out an embarrassed laugh. usually you’re undisturbed in the library, everyone else is typically there to study, have some alone time, or eat their lunch in a place that’s quiet. you’ve never had anyone ask you what you’re reading.

“it’s…embarrassing. i’m gonna sound boring.”

“what?” jake laughs, turning in front of you and walking backwards so he can fully look at you. “tell me, i’m dying to know now.”

“i mean, usually it’s about animal history-“

“right! biology major.” jake remembers.

“yup.” you nod. “buuut, sometimes i read biographies or like, theories.”

jake’s ears practically perk, but you don’t notice, pushing open a door before jake’s back can run into it.

“oh, thanks.” he says before returning to your side after the close call, deciding he’d rather not possibly fall right in front of you with your heavy cheer bag to land on top of him. “theories? what- what kind of theories?”

“right now i’m reading einstein’s.”

jake looks over to you with widened eyes, surprised because he’s never met anyone else that actually has an interest in stuff like that. he’s tried to rant to jay or heeseung about that kind of stuff, be he can tell they’re just replying on auto pilot, not really listening.

jake wonders how far you’ve read, what all you know. he’s practically tingling with excitement, about to ask you if you know about the team of scientists that disproved one of einstein’s theories when-

“well, i’m gonna get back to my dorm now,”you say just as you reach the campus sidewalk, street lamps lighting the path as dusk turns to darkness.

“i can walk you? it’s pretty late.” jake offers, already moving as though to go with you.

you feel your heart stop, a feeling you can only describe as ‘oh no’ burning a hole into the pit of your stomach.

“jake…earlier…it was just casual, yknow…”

jake stares at you, eyes round and capturing the lights in his dark pupils like stars in the sky. he stills, free hand going inside his pocket while the other still holds your bag.

“not that i’m assuming anything!” you hurry to add. “just thought i’d…clarify.”

“yeah…yeah, i know. i just- i just didn’t think it’d be a big deal to walk you home.”

“it’s not a big deal. that’s why i can do it myself.” you explain as nonchalantly as you can, but on the inside you feel like there’s needles pricking your skin, hairs all standing on end. you’re dying to be out of this situation, anxiety making you feel like prey, wanting to run, run, run.

“right! yeah, of course!”

you smile smoothly, leaning in to take your bag from his hand.

“i’ll see you at our next session, okay?”

“okay.” jake smiles softly, but you don’t look for too long, turning your back too soon, listening to the voice yelling in your head to leave.

you hear jake’s voice behind you as you walk down the paved path, his voice slightly carrying into the night.

“stay safe, pom-poms!”

you laugh, little and quiet to yourself as you whisper.

“jerk.”

(❤︎)

for the next week you’re busier than ever: tutor sessions, cheer practice, competition days, your usual studies and classes, taking layla on walks every now and then when jake is at work.

and yet, you’re thriving.

jake’s ‘hard work on you’— as he put it, is paying off.

you’re at your usual spot that you and jake have your sessions, his house.

the clock strikes 10 pm when you finally call it quits. layla (who’s been switching between sitting on your and jake’s feet from underneath the table) jumps up the second she hears the slam of your notebook and jake getting up to put away his study material.

“what is it, girl?” you laugh, watching the golden furred dog do an excited little wiggle dance in front of you.

she looks from you, to the front door, and back at you again.

“jake, i think she wants to go outside.”

uh-oh. you said her buzzword.

at the mention of ‘outside’, layla becomes twice as restless, whining and pawing at the front door with her claws.

“layla, no,” jake stops her, pulling her away from the door before she can scratch the wood.

“are you gonna take her?” you ask, jake turning his head to you as he continues to pat and scratch layla’s back, trying to sedate her.

“maybe just for a little bit, once you go home.”

“…i’ll go with you.” you offer, jake’s brows raising slightly in surprise.

“you don’t have to, y/n. i know we have a ‘deal’ but i don’t actually care if you-“

“i want to.” you shrug.

“you do?”

“yeah?”

“aren’t you tired?” jake asks, standing up and tilting his head at you.

you tilt yours back at him, a teasing smirk on your face. “i’m not. are you?”

jake takes one look at your smirk and falls into your trap, so easily persuaded by even the notion of a challenge. grabbing layla’s leash out of a nearby drawer in the kitchen, he hooks it onto layla’s collar and puts on his slides.

“lets go.” he smiles, you laughing at how his accent really pops out when he says the word ‘go’.

“what’s so funny?” he giggles with you despite not knowing why, watching as you hurriedly slip the shoes closest to you— which happen to be jake’s crocs that he never wears. they’re way too big, you putting them in ‘sport mode’ to try and combat the obvious size issue.

it doesn’t work. but despite that, they stay on.

“you look like a garden gnome,” jake laughs, letting you playfully slap him on the shoulder and watching how you bolt out the door a second later with a screech, like a kid playing tag.

“don’t run in them!! poms, you’re going to fall!” he yells, quickly grabbing a coat off the hook for you in case you get cold before he and layla hurry out the door and after you.

you walk around for about 15 minutes, eventually coming upon a gas station.

“…you hungry?”

you end up being the one to go inside the gas station while jake stays outside with layla, since dogs aren’t allowed in. he watches you closely the entire time though, staring at you while he stands right at the glass door entrance.

“i’m a big girl, you know.” you laugh once you walk back out, jake holding the door open for you. “im not gonna die if you’re not there to watch me.”

“i know, but gas stations at night just kinda freak me out.” jake whines, taking the plastic bag from your hands while you hold the two cups of hot ramen. you go and sit at a nearby bench that’s right beneath a window, the glow of the gas station’s light’s shining a light on the area around you.

“did you make it how i told you?” jake sing-songs as he ties layla’s leash to the bench’s leg, the dog taking the time to enjoy the break as she lays by his feet obediently.

“yes, i followed your obscenely specific instructions down to the very detail to make you the perfect ramen, jake.” you roll your eyes in faux annoyance, handing the cup of ramen to him, as well as a plastic fork.

“thank you.” he smiles coyly, taking the container from you.

“you’re welcome, princess.” you sigh jokingly.

you take a few bites of your ramen before speaking up again, as jake seems completely content to wordlessly munch on his food.

“so what are you and the boy’s gonna do this weekend?”

“mmm,” jake hums, swallowing before continuing. “i think we’re going over to felix’s.”

“oh.” you reply, picking up your drink to take a sip a second later.

even though it was chill when you last saw felix, you still feel a little awkward when his name comes up…or maybe it’s guilt you’re feeling.

“what’s up with that?” jake asks, looking at how your body language has changed to uncomfortable.

“what’s up with what?”

“…all of it, i guess.” jake specifies, and he sounds serious. like he really wants to know your history with felix.

you exhale and hope it doesn’t sound shaky, giving yourself a moment to take another bite of your food as you gather your thoughts. usually you might say ‘i don’t want to talk about it’ or ‘i don’t know’, but after hearing what jake said that first time you were over at your house…you want him to hear your side. even though your side doesn’t really excuse what you did.

“we…i liked him, freshman year. and he didn’t at first, but then he came around and eventually asked me out. and…he was honestly really great, he was a wonderful partner and i…really, really liked him.”

“so then…why? why’d you…”

“drop him?” you finish jake’s trailed of sentence for him.

he nods.

“i just…” you pause, looking down at your shoes and twisting the soles of them into the concrete. your heart wanes in realization that you’re about to talk about it. “sometimes i get really scared when- someone…cares about me? i don’t know. i don’t know how to describe it.”

“why does someone caring for you scare you?”

“i’m not sure. feeling…pressure? to be perfect, to keep them from leaving? or…scared of having someone that i care for so much, because…that means they could really hurt me.”

“when did that start?” jake asks softly, voice free of judgement, even pity— you think. just a gentle desire to understand.

“oh, i don’t know.” you laugh, though there’s no real humor behind it. you look down at layla and the way the light hits her fur, turning the tips a flaming gold. “parent stuff, friend stuff…i had a really shitty ex in high school.”

jake barks out a short laugh. “same, i think it’s a part of the teenage experience.”

“trauma builds character.” you say matter-of-factly, jake giggling as you can’t help but join him.

“i am sorry though, about what happened to you and that it’s made you feel this way. you didn’t deserve that.”

you bite your lip, staring at each other as your stomach twists from the soft timber of his voice and the gentleness of his words.

you look away.

“i know what i did to him was wrong. it doesn’t excuse it….”

“…no.” jake confirms. “but it does make sense. and it’s good that you know what the problem is now.”

“yeah,” you agree with a small smile, heart still heavy, but at the same time you do feel a bit better after talking about it.

“and i have gotten better. i still get scared, and sometimes i have unconscious bad habits, but i’ve gotten better at…telling my brain to shut up, when i realize.” you struggle to explain, but jake nods his head like he gets it.

your arms shiver slightly, from the cool night air or the adrenaline rush after voicing your feelings— you’re not sure.

jake unties the jacket from around his waist and lays it over your shoulders, but your goosebumps remain.

(❤︎)

as you walk into physics class you take a small glance at jake, offering a quick smile as you pass by him at his usual spot in front row before you go and sit down towards the middle.

there’s already someone sitting to your right, so you’re about to sit your bag on the left seat for chae (who’s apparently running late) when jake abruptly appears and takes the spot.

you’re staring at him with a confused ‘what the fuck’ face as he finishes opening his backpack and placing his things down, putting on his glasses so he can see the professor and their material from far away before turning to smile at you.

“hi,” he whispers.

you try to change your expression to a more casual one, seeing that he for some reason decided to change his usual seating arrangements to sit next to you, and that seems to be his only prerogative.

“hey…” you whisper back, turning to face the front after.

the professor begins the class, but you can’t focus. jake keeps trying to help you, leaning close to add on to what the professor is saying, then he notices the eraser on your pencil is almost gone and gives you a new one. but worst of all, when you tilt your head to write something down, hair cascading like a curtain over your face, jake gently moves to tuck your hair behind your ear, smiling sweetly at you when you glance at him.

you’re not confused anymore. you think you know exactly what’s going on and you’re…you don’t know what to do. everything suddenly feels like it’s spiraling into a mess and you desperately want to feel like you’re in control of it again.

so you cross your legs and lean in jake’s direction, taking it slow and simply brushing up against his pant leg.

jake’s eyes look down but quickly move back up to the front of the class, maybe assuming it’s on accident, though his expression does look slightly frazzled.

you want to mess him up more.

thankful for the table that’s about to cover your sins, you place your hand right above jake’s knee.

he fully acknowledges you now, snapping his head to give you a confused look, trying and failing to hide how flustered he is thanks to his blushing ears.

you tilt your head to indicate confusion, your ‘innocent’ act not fooling him at all as you creep your hand farther up his leg, to the meatier part of his thigh. the higher you go, the pinker his cheeks grow, looking more and more adorable.

you feel like a predator that’s caught her prey when you squeeze and his body jerks, hair falling into his eyes before he shakes it away and adjusts his glasses.

you feel like your pupils dilate at the action, watching jake sitting there and not even telling you to stop, letting you touch him in class where anyone could catch you. he’s dressed like the smart boy he is today, his polo shirt and kaki pants paired with oval framed glasses almost giving a nerdy virgin vibe. it makes you really wet, especially since you’re so close to his cock, which you never got to touch with your hands.

a bulge is starting to grow in his pants and you let your fingers barely graze over it as you start massaging his thigh.

“y-y/n?” he speaks so softly you would miss it if it weren’t for how close you sit together.

“hm?”

you glance up at him casually, like you’re fingers aren’t narrowly avoiding his cock right now, and it’s driving him crazy.

it’s making him desperate.

you’re in the middle of class and yet he’s dying for you to just touch his dick already.

he’s debating between if he should ask or not when you finally put your whole hand over his bulge. he stops a whine from bubbling up his throat as your touch is still feather light, not even giving him the grace of more pressure. pushing his hips up into your palm, you pull away, bringing your hands back into your lap and attention back on the professor.

“what? b- baby-“

“what, nerd?” you say with a little bite, and the name has jake twitching in his pants.

“pl- please? can you keep…touching me?”

“we’re in class, jake.” you say, pretending to be mildly annoyed, as if you weren’t the one who started all this.

a tiny noise escapes from jake’s throat, squeezing his eyes shut as he clenches his thighs, trying to relieve the pulsing of his own dick as blood rushes down south.

“jake!” you scold with a harsh whisper, genuinely surprised by how shameless he’s getting.

“please, y/n.” he struggles out, voice whiney. “i need you.”

your breath turns shakey, the facade of being unaffected crumbling as you feel yourself getting more and more turned on. granting him mercy, you bring your hand back down to fully grope his bulge, eyes growing wide as you’re reminded of how big he is.

“fuck.” you sigh, jake giving a twitchy thrust at your voice.

“dirty boy.” is all you say before facing the class again, really trying not to get caught now as your touches turn into you basically jacking him off over his pants.

jake humps into your hand as subtly as he can, almost missing how the professor’s asking him a question if it weren’t for how you pinch his thigh to break him out of it.

“w-what?” jake asks, sounding far from intelligent.

“i said, what is the speed of darkness, mr. sim.”

“oh- um,”

your hand goes right back to jacking him off, stopping at the tip of his dick to massage over it. jake swallows down a cry.

“i expected this to be easy, especially for you, mr. sim.”

“it- it has none.” he croaks out, voice almost raising in his efforts to avoid his building orgasm, the panic almost making him reach that point faster. “darkness is the absence of light, so it doesn’t h- have any speed.”

“correct! dark is simply the absence of photons which means-“

“i’m gonna cum.” jake says as quietly as possible, leaning back in his chair and pushing his face into the side of your arm, hiding his face. “y/n, m’gonna!”

you stop your hand and push him off of you, sitting up straighter as you whisper “after class”, leaving jake trembling in his chair, panting under his breath and too desperate to argue.

it feels like an eternity has passed when class ends, you getting up immediately and jake rushing to follow you. you lead him out into the hallway, hurrying up and opening a closet door before the crowds of other students fill the halls. jake practically moans when you grab him by the shirt and shove him inside, shutting the door behind you. it’s dark as you feel for the light switch, unable to find it.

“fuck, where’s the lights?”

you hear a click and the small closet is dimly illuminated, jake standing right in front of you with wide, shiny eyes, holding a string that’s connected to the one lightbulb that lights the space, which you now can see is a janitor’s closet.

“oh, thank you.” you say normally, like your panties aren’t soaking wet, before pushing him against the wall, almost knocking over a mop bucket as you intensely make out with jake.

the boy lets you swallow down his long moan of relief, needy hands grasping at your hips and already trying to rut against your leg.

“you really that desperate? can’t help but hump your big cock against me?”

jake whimpers, looking at you with big, pretty brown eyes as he wordlessly begs you.

“maybe you aren’t that smart of a nerd. can’t even talk? does your dick getting some attention make you that dumb?”

“yes! yes, yes, m’ so dumb. so stupid for you. please make me cum? it hurts, baby, please?”

“fuck me.” you order. “then you can cum.”

jake takes a second to process your words before he’s stripping himself bare.

“can- can you take off everything, please? wanna feel all of you.” he asks adorably, and you grant him his wish, albeit— you have to tease him. you peel off your clothes so slowly, jake watching every inch of your skin being revealed like he’s never seen a woman’s body before, hands clenching at his sides with the need to touch you.

“please, please, please.” he chants under his breath, almost to himself unconsciously.

“c’mere, jakey.” you coo, him hugging himself up to you a millisecond later.

he’s whimpering and slobbering into your neck as he attempts to give you kisses in his messy state of mind. you start to giggle until his cock catches at the entrance of your pussy and causes you to let out a whine, jake getting more excited (if it’s possible) after feeling how wet you are for him.

“y/n, please.” he blubbers, resting his forehead against yours.

“you can go inside, baby. fuck me, touch me. i don’t care anymore, just give me your cock.”

jake slowly pushes himself inside, the both of you moaning in relief before jake starts fucking into you slowly.

his face is sweating, glasses sliding down his nose bridge as he tries to give you time to adjust fully to his length. you’re so tight, looking so pretty while your eyes are squeezed shut, head leaning back against the wall as you’re stretched out around his dick. jake peppers little kisses all over the exposed expanse of your neck, you letting out happy little noises at his careful care and the feeling of him inside you.

“you okay, babygirl?”

“yeah, jakey. you can go deeper.”

slowly, jake pushes in as far as he can go, hips flush against yours. his cock is long, reaching places that haven’t been reached in a long time, but still…

“no,” you tremble, knowing it can be even better. “hold on.”

pushing his chest off of you a little to give more space, you lift your right leg and hook it around his shoulder, your other still firmly on the ground.

“okay, keep going.” you almost beg, desperate to be fucked into the wall.

“holy shit…” jake marvels, thrusting as deeply into you as he possibly can go, the new angle making his tip press into your cervix.

“oh my god!” he almost growls as his control slips from his grasp, hips gaining speed as he starts to pound into you. the rough quality of his previously sweet tone has you clenching, making him lose it even more. “you’re so fucking flexible.”

“m- m’a cheerleader.” is all you can manage to get out and explain when jake is fucking you so hard, making you feel so good. the slapping noises of jake’s thrusts and your wet pussy isn’t quiet, but you’re too cock drunk to worry about it, and jake is too lost in the way your needy cunt takes him so well.

“damn right, you are, baby.”

forcing your eyes to focus an jake’s intense gaze as he watches every one of your minute expressions, you see how his glasses rest lop sided on his face, releasing the grip you have on jake’s strong shoulders to fix them.

there’s a shift in jake’s eyes after you do this, and you’re beginning to feel as though he’s looking right through your skin and into your soul. then jake’s big hands wrap tightly around your back, stretching your leg further as you’re pressed flush against him and the wall. his rhythm turns erratic as your moans get louder, the hot air in the small space too thick for you to catch your breath.

“sweet girl, with an even sweeter little cunt, yeah?” he drawls, accent turning thicker as he licks into your mouth and presses sloppy kisses onto your lips in between words. “taking my cock like a champ, baby. taking me like a good girl.”

“please, jake. need to cum.” you cry weakly, looking up at him with glassy eyes.

“cum for me, sweetheart. make me all messy.”

you obey his words with a muffled cry as he cradles your head into his neck, trying to make sure no one hears your sounds of pleasure.

he tries his best to hold on long enough to fuck you through your high before he pulls out, fisting his own cock.

you don’t want to miss it, falling on your weak knees and opening your mouth to stick out your tongue, looking up at him and begging with your eyes for him to give it to you.

jake can’t even speak as his hands moves in a blur, the only cognitive thought in his mind how pretty you look kneeling for him, begging for his cum, before he’s unloading into your mouth.

you take it all, swallowing and leaning forward to suck on his tip like a lollipop after, licking him clean.

once jake is able to get himself together and your legs feel a little less like jello, who helps you stand and get dressed.

you laugh once you’re both fully clothed, watching jake clean his glasses lens with his shirt.

“what?” jake smiles tiredly, straightening his polo. “do i look normal?” and like we didn’t just fuck in the janitor’s closet?

“no,” you giggle, shaking your head as you reach up to comb through his very tousled hair. “okay, that’s better.”

“thank you.” jake smiles tenderly, making that funny feeling in your stomach present again before he presses a quick kiss to your lips. “i’ll text you, baby.”

“o-….okay…” you mumble, jake giggling as he thinks your dazed look is just because you’re still a little fucked dumb.

“you want me to slip out first?”

“um, yeah.” you answer, watching jake peek out the door before flashing you one more sweet smile before he’s out, shutting the door behind him.

you don’t know what you’re going to do.

(❤︎)

“dude, just ask her out already.” jay says as he lays down to spread out on jake’s bed like a star fish.

“i am!” jake insists, accepting that he’s probably not going to get anymore studying done when jay’s in his bedroom yapping away. shutting his laptop, jake swivels his desk chair around and quirks a brow at how jay lays on his bed like he owns it.

“then do it! what are you waiting for?”

“i just don’t want to overwhelm her, i think if i move too fast it’ll scare her. but…i think I’m gonna ask her tonight.”

jay sits up on his elbows. “you’re inviting her?” he asks, referring to the game night the boys were planning to have with heeseung at their place.

“yeah. i’ve already asked her, she says she can come after some cheer event she’s doing today.”

“wow…” jay sighs, now looking a little surprised as he processes.

“what?”

“i can’t believe you got a cheerleader girlfriend before me or heeseung.”

jake starts to be offended before he smirks, standing up from his chair and combing his hair out of his face.

“that’s because i’m sexy and smart. now take the L and help me clean up before she gets here.”

(❤︎)

it’s 8:00 pm when you finally get to jake and jay’s house, jake waiting for you by the door.

“hi, how was the event?”

“it was good. they had us outside all day but the weather wasn’t too warm.”

“good!” jake smiles as he opens the door for you and leads you to the living room. “ready to beat these guys in a game with me?”

“i really suck at video games, jake.” you laugh just as you walk into the room, seeing jay and heeseung sitting at the sofa.

jake sees heeseung’s eyes light up when he sees you, and jake feels a bit annoyed— then guilty. heeseung doesn’t know about you and jake, the australian not having time to tell him about your ‘thing’ before you showed up.

“hey, y/n! come sit.” jay invites.

you move to sit down on the couch, the only space available being next to heeseung. jake sits against your legs, his cuddly nature making you blush and feel a little self conscious while in front of everyone else, moving your legs to criss-cross them on the cushion instead.

something about being at their house with heeseung over again, in this room, makes you think about what you’ve been trying not to this entire time: what jake said.

do they all think you’re a player?

do they know about you and jake’s hookups?

if the answer is yes, then they probably also think you’re just with jake to get in his pants, to chew him up and spit him out.

but what do you really want?…and what…what does jake want?

you’ve felt off since the classroom incident, and you thought maybe hanging out casually would make you feel better, but it seems to only be making it worse.

“y/n?”

heeseung concerned voice snaps you out of your head and you look at him. he’s holding out a gaming controller for you, and you take it, the object feeling a bit big in your hands.

“here,” jake offers gently, turning around from his place on the floor as he positions your hands over the controller. “it’ll probably be easier for you to hold it like this.”

“thanks.” you say unconsciously soft, probably because of the proximity between you and jake’s faces.

he smiles that cute smile at you again, the one that makes his eyes sparkle, and you feel legitimately sick.

“do you want me to explain the game to you?” heeseung offers.

“i can,” jake starts to interrupt, but you stop him as you gesture for him to sit back down.

“it’s fine, jake. hee’s right here.”

you hope the excuse of heeseung sitting right next to you is a good enough excuse for why you don’t want jake coddling over you. you just…you can’t think clearly with him near right now.

once you start the multi player game and you go for a few rounds, heeseung starts getting kinda touchy with you. first letting his thighs touch yours, which is probably unconscious. the sofa is rather squishy and deep, it’s easy to sink into it— and thus, you. but then he starts smiling at you a lot and praising you whenever you do something right. you try not to encourage heeseung’s treatment while also ignoring how jake keeps turning to take peeks at you together.

very unexpectedly, you find a few advantage items and end up winning a round, heeseung throwing up his arms in excitement while jay loudly cheers.

“that was awesome, y/n!” heeseung says before wrapping you in an unexpected hug. you smile proudly at yourself, returning his quick hug.

“y/n and i will go get some drinks.” jake abruptly announces in a low tone before grabbing your arm and pulling you away from heeseung.

“jake. jake! why are you pulling me?” you say as he continues down the hall, not looking or speaking to you until you get to the kitchen.

“what was that?” he asks demandingly after spinning around to face you, eyes hard and looking at you angrily.

“what was what?”

“you and heeseung!”

“there is no me and heeseung, jake.” you sigh, rubbing your temples as you feel a headache coming on. this whole evening has honestly been nothing but stressful, and you’re starting to regret coming.

“well it sure looked like you were a thing…i thought we…”

he trails off and your heart full on stops, eyes wide as you stare at jake.

“you thought…what?” you ask, scared out of your mind.

“i like you.” jake says softly, looking up from the floor to gaze at you with hopeful eyes. “and i think…i think you like me too, right?”

you take a few deep breaths, brows furrowing as panic and fear take over the rational part of your brain.

“you sure you want to like the ‘typical dumb cheerleader’?” you air quote, jake’s face falling as your eyes already start to sting.

“oh my god, you heard that? baby, i’m so, so sorry. i-…i don’t think that now, i was being an asshole.”

despite how hard you try to keep them at bay, to blink them back, to keep the angry facade up— you can’t. your walls finally crumble down as you cry into your hands, letting the ache that’s been slowly growing in your heart over these past few weeks take over your whole chest.

“you- you don’t still think i’m a h- heartbr- break-“

you can’t even get a full sentence out between your crying and gasps of air, jake coming closer with open arms to wrap you in a hug, to squeeze you against his warm chest.

“no, no, no. sweet girl, oh my god.” he says almost like it’s to himself, before he’s culling your damp cheeks.

“c’mon, baby. look at me?” he coos sadly, and you do, putting aside your shame and lifting your face, watching his regretful eyes flit over your teary orbs and broken expression.

“i am so sorry that the harsh, untruthful words i said hurt you so badly, and i’m so sorry it’s taken me this long to apologize. i was legitimately an asshole to you and you didn’t deserve it. i had you pinned down in my head of who i thought you were and i treated you differently because of it, when i didn’t even bother getting to know you. and i’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

jake tries to wipe away the tears that slip down your cheeks as you try to calm down, still hurt but feeling better after his words.

“you- you don’t think i’m a bad person? because- because i honestly wouldn’t blame you if you did.” you dare to ask.

“no!” jake states firmly. “no, baby. you’re not and i don’t think that. i think you’re kind and generous. hardworking and smart. beautiful and funny and so, so easy to fall for.”

“jake…” you whisper, cheeks burning as you attempt to hide you face in his chest. but jake doesn’t let you, cupping your jaw in his palms as he nuzzles his nose against yours.

“do you like me, poms?” he whispers nervously, breath fanning over your lips as you feel like you’re about to drown from the depth of emotions he manages to hold in his eyes.

“i…i do, jake. i really, really like you.”

jake smiles, teeth biting at his bottom lip to try and contain it.

“but,” you’re quick to say when jake starts to lean in, halting his actions. “i…i need time…to think. i…”

“it’s okay, y/n. you don’t have to explain it to me. i’ll wait for you.” jake whispers, staring forlornly at your lips, but not moving. “even if you tell me not to, i’d still wait for you.”

your heart skips a beat and you pull away, afraid you’ll lose your resolve and dive into his kiss if you don’t.

“okay. i’ll…i’ll see you, jake.”

“see you, y/n.” jake smiles, but despite trying his best, it doesn’t make it to his eyes. you walk out of the kitchen before fleeing from his house, speeding to your dorm and collapsing onto your bed and bursting into sobs.

(❤︎)

3 days.

3 days, going on four, since you’ve spoken to jake. you know he’s trying really hard not to overwhelm you, to resist coming over and talking to you, but you still catch staring at you in class when he thinks you don’t notice.

you do.

you notice him, always.

you want to go to him, you miss him so much. but it’s feels like there’s chains of fear wrapped around your heart, weighing you down and tugging you away from him.

you’re walking across campus in the afternoon to go back to your dorm, feeling like a zombie like you have been since you last spoke to jake.

you run into something with stops your lazy, slow steps, looking up to see felix staring wide at you.

“oh, y/n! hey!”

“h-hi! sorry, lix.” you apologize for running into him, trying to sound at least half as chipper as him.

“that’s alright. so, jay told me about you and jake,” he implores in a teasing way, nudging your arm with his elbow as he smiles. “how’s that going?”

it takes you a few seconds to feel the pain in your heart at simply hearing his name before you start crying, felix almost flinching back in surprise as you try to wipe your tears away as quickly as they come.

“i’m- i’m so sorry, felix. i’m a mess right now.”

“hey, hey, it’s okay, y/n. why don’t we sit down and you can tell me about it.”

felix wraps a comforting arm around your shoulder and leads you to sit down at a nearby bench. taking a gentle hold of your hand, he encourages you to tell him what happened.

and you do, you tell him everything. from the very beginning to the very end.

“i just- i don’t know what to do, felix. i like him so much it scares me. i’ve never let- let somebody get this close to me this fast before.” you sniffle. “and i just- i can’t stop thinking about how much it would hurt this time, because- because i think if i let myself be with him, i’ll never want to leave.”

“oh, y/n.” felix sighs, pulling you in for a hug. “don’t you see? jake is an amazing guy, and you like him. which isn’t a reason to leave, it’s a reason to stay, to keep going and not give up. don’t you get it?”

he asks, looking you in the eyes as you feel his words click something into place in your brain. it isn’t a reason to leave, it’s why you should stay.

“don’t give him up, y/n.” felix urges softly. your heart squeezes with undeniable fondness, reaching forward to wrap the boy in a tight hug of your own.

“you’re right. thank you, felix.”

“it’s okay, y/n. go get your man.” he smiles genuinely.

“and felix?” you begin as you pull away to look him in the eyes.

“yeah?”

“i’m sorry, lixie.” you apologize, and he knows what for.

“i know, y/n.” felix’s voice wavers at the unexpected sentiment, but his sunshine disposition still remains. “i’m happy now. we’re okay. all is forgiven.”

you know it’s not a good enough apology despite his words, but you’ll find another time to properly say sorry, to give him the apology he deserves. but for now, you give him one more tight squeeze before running off to find jake.

he’s not working at the cafe today, all his classes are usually over by now and there’s no basketball practice for him to tag along to, so the only other place you can think to go look is his house.

when you messily park in the driveway and knock at the door, it’s a bewildered jay that answers.

“oh, y/n! he’s- jake’s walking layla right now.”

“do you know which direction he went?”

jay points and you take off down his neighborhood sidewalk, jay watching you disappear around a corner with his jaw slightly open in confusion, finger still raised, before he shrugs his shoulders and goes back inside with a mumbled little ‘whatever’ to himself.

your running turned to jogging, and now you’re sluggishly walking, your exhaustion and the sight of the sun setting making you lose hope as you stare down at your own feet that lazily step on the pavement.

what if jake doesn’t even want you anymore? did you already mess it up?

an echoed voice carries down the street and you lift your head, the tone of it sounding familiar. turning the corner one more time, your heart feels like it’s been brought back to life when you see jake and layla in the distance.

jake crouches in front of layla, the dog looking bored and tiredly panting as he raises his hand to scratch behind her ears, giving her a sad little smile.

“sorry, girl…i know. i miss her too.”

something tugs you forward, those heavy chains that were previously around your heart broken and unable to hold you back anymore.

“jake!” you call, jake looking up to your approaching figure.

“y/n?”

your slow steps turn to running when jake opens his arms, practically catching you with how you leap into his embrace.

“y/n?” he repeats, looking deep into your eyes like he can’t believe he’s feeling your smaller body in his arms right now, seeing you so up close again.

you wrap your arms around his neck and crash your lips into his, jake immediately kissing you back with just as much fever. your tongues lick into each other’s mouth like you haven’t tasted the other in ages, jake raising a hand to cup your cheek and press you impossible closer.

“jake,” you gasp in air after fighting to part from jake’s eager lips.

“sweetheart.” jake practically coos, eyes half-lidded and sounding love drunk as he spares you only a moment before he’s kissing you again.

“jake!” you pull away again, your attempt to sound scolding failing due to your little giggles that give your true emotions away. but how can you not when jake’s ticklish butterfly kisses are being peppered across your neck.

“let me talk!”

“hurry.” jake whines, pressing to more pecks to your lips.

“i- i wanna stay! i want to be with you.”

“i wanna be with you too, babygirl.” jake whispers fondly, staring into your eyes and how they capture the sunset’s shining rays. it’s the prettiest sunset he’s ever seen, viewing it in this way. “does this mean you’ll be mine?”

“i think i’ve been yours for a while already, jakey.”

jake’s like a kid at a candy store with your lips right in front of him. you’re unable to enjoy his absolutely gorgeous smile from your words for more than a second before his lips are attached to yours again, capturing you in another passionate kiss.

you whine into it, pushing at his chest much to jake’s displeasure.

“but i’m probably still gonna get scared sometimes.”

“i know, baby.”

a kiss.

“and- and i’m good at communicating but-“

another.

“sometimes i need encouragement.”

“i can do that, sweetheart.” he promises with another deep kiss. you push him away again.

“but, jake?”

he smiles with a defeated groan, leaning his head onto your shoulder before he looks at you.

“yeah, sweetie?”

“what if i…did try? to run away again.” you ask, not because you think you will, but because you want to know his answer.

he answers easily, like it’s a no brainer for him.

“then i’d chase after you every time.”

“…promise?”

“i promise.”

(❤︎)

jake doesn’t even take layla’s leash off when you bust through the front door, barely taking the time to shut it behind him before he’s picking you up, giggling at your adorable squeal and how your legs wrap around his waist without thinking.

you don’t even stop kissing as he blindly carries and maneuvers you around the house, feeling for his bedroom door knob with his one hand and opening it successfully.

he walks forward until he feels the frame of his bed against his shins and sets you down gently, finally detaching from your lips to gaze at you and how gorgeous you look laying in his bed, staring up at him with so much cb affection in your eyes that it has his cock twitching.

“what?” you smile, feeling a little squirmy under his gaze, but you remain still.

“nothing…you’re just so beautiful.”

your cheeks burn, biting at your smile as you move to take off your clothes. jake rushes to do the same, though it takes him a little longer as he has to stop every few moments to watch you strip.

you rub your thighs together with a moan as you see jake’s throbbing length, it’s pretty pink tip shining with his excitement.

“oh my god, baby. i don’t wanna go a day without you ever again. seeing you, talking to you, kissing you, fucking you. shit, m’gonna make you take my cock every day from now on.”

“please, jake, just put it in.” you whine, spreading open your legs and causing jake’s eyes to almost pop out of his skull.

“damn, baby.” he marvels, kneeling up on the bed as he comes closer to you, caressing his hands up and down your thighs as he stares at your pussy.

“jaaake, fuck me!”

“be patient, babygirl.” he warns with a small yet stinging slap to your thigh. “i will. but i gotta taste you first.”

he makes a spot for himself between your legs, laying on his belly before spreading open your pussy with his two, long fingers. clear slick webs between, jake shuddering out a heated ‘fuck’ before going in to lick it up with his tongue.

“oh god,” you whimper, raising your hands to your face, embarrassed by how wet you already are and how jake’s slurping every bit of it into his mouth.

“mmm,” jake hums disapprovingly, departing from your pussy only for a moment. “dont don’t do that. wanna watch my baby’s face while i eat her out.”

then jake goes back down to slowly push his tongue inside your entrance, your thighs twitching with the unexpected intrusion.

“j-jake!” you cry as he falls into a rhythm, rubbing your sopping clit while he fucks you with his tongue, big brown eyes staring you down as you find yourself unable to look away.

“o- oh, ffuck!”

your hands grip up the sheets into a fist, toes curling as jake’s incessant licking into your cunt and the perfect little circles he rubs into your clit makes you come more and more undone.

jake groans in pleasure at your own, the sound sending vibrations straight to your core and causing your entire body to flinch as you cry out.

“i- i think m’gonna cum already if you don’t stop, jake.” you whine, voice high pitched and unlike yourself.

the boy doesn’t stop. in fact, he goes deeper, curling the tip of his tongue into the spongy part of you.

you cum with a cry, legs trembling and squeezing around jake’s head as he happily cleans you up with his mouth.

“mmm, such a messy cunt, baby. taste so good.” jake sighs as he repositions to hover over you body, one hand stroking over his dick as he spreads your left over juices from his fingers across it.

he reaches across to his night stand, you presume to get out a condom.

“don’t. want- want you to fuck me raw, please? m’on the pill.”

“…holy shit.” jake murmurs, wide eyed.

he leans on his elbows, dipping closer to your face as you watch how his eyes roam over your every feature, taking in your beauty in the same way as you’re taking in his right now.

“my pretty girl, my good girl...” he gives you that smile that used to make you sick, but now it has butterflies in your stomach and your pussy clenching.

“mine.” jake whispers proudly, rubbing his nose against yours as he pushes inside of you slowly.

“how-“ you struggle, interrupted by your and jake’s moans as his dick is sucked in by your greedy cunt. “how do you talk so sweet when- when you’re doing bad things?”

jake just responds with an out of breath chuckle, bracing himself with a hand to your hip, groping and squeezing at your soft flesh.

as he starts thrusting into you, deep and slow, you feel like all the air has been knocked out of you.

you don’t know why, maybe it’s the angle or how he’s looking at you, maybe it’s because you just came or the emotional high of being reunited. all you know is that it only takes a few minutes for you to be trembling and whimpering into jake’s sheets as he fucks you dumb.

jake’s latched onto your tits— of course, moaning and whining as he slobbers all over your chest like your nipples taste like candy. and they might as well be, because to jake they’re that good.

“mmm, jakey, please. please. m’so close.”

jake is no better off than you, sweat glistening on his skin and his hips start to erratically buck into yours, his pants and your whimpers filling his bedroom.

“yeah, baby? my cock make you feel good?”

“y- yes!”

“y’gonna let me have this cunt every day, sweetheart? take my cum every day?”

“yes, baby, yes!” you either against the sheets, twisting your head to the side from the overwhelming pleasure as you try to hold back your oncoming orgasm, waiting for his permission. “gotta cum, jakey.”

“no, no, sweetie. gotta look at me first, babygirl.” he gently orders in a way that makes your stomach flip, holding your chin between his thumb and fingers before turning your head back to look at him. he brushes your hair out of your face, greeted with your glossy eyes and pouty lips, begging for him to have mercy.

“there she is. there’s my little girl.” he trembles out, biting his bottom lip and forcing his eyes to stay open and look at you, even as the pleasure gets too much. “look so cute while you’re falling apart on my cock.”

“pl-please…jake! need- need’ta-“

“let go, sweetheart. cum with me, baby.”

jake seals your lips with a kiss to suppress the cry you let out as you reach your highs together, trembling bodies holding out for as long as you can to ride out your orgasm.

jake collapses on the bed and cuddles you into his chest, hands brushing through your hair and making sure none of it is in your face.

jake’s phone dings with a text, and he leans over to pick it up. you watch his pretty, brown eyes as he reads the screen, before his lips quirk up in a smirk.

“what?” you ask.

“jay…he‘a asking if we’re done fucking yet.”

“oh my god!” you whine with embarrassment, burying your face into jake’s chest even further as he giggles.

“it’s okay. he said he figured he should put on some noise canceling headphones and make himself scarce when you came by looking for me.”

“still embarrassing…” you mumble, jake cupping your face to lift your head up and press a kiss to your forehead, then your lips.

“m’so glad you found me.” he confesses softly. you smile.

“i think we found each other.”

“mmm,” jake hums, resting his forehead against yours, looking at you like he can’t get enough of you. you’re sure you look the same.

“never gonna be able to go without my dumb little cheerleader girlfriend again.” he smiles teasingly, referencing to his previous harsh words he said about you.

it’s so funny how things can change when you really get to know someone. when you give them a chance.

“and i’m never gonna be able to go without my nerdy little boyfriend again.”

“hey,” he laughs, no real feelings other than happiness behind it. jake sits up on his elbows, caging you in to press a sweet, long kiss to your lips.

he pulls away just enough to be able to look into your eyes as he whispers.

“that was mean, pom-poms.”

you huff, shaking your head with a smile as your hands move to run through his hair, pulling him in for probably the hundredth and definitely not last kiss of the night.

“jerk.”

note) wow, you made it through! i really hope you enjoyed reading my baby 😭

i tried to make reader a lovable character with layers that some might find relatable/comforting, and that she didn’t seem like a pick me. so i hope that came across. the subject of being afraid of emotional intimacy while at the same time desperately wanting it is something that i struggle with myself. also the anxiety of letting someone see you wholly for who you are, and them still loving you. it’s horrific and scary but beautiful if you only let yourself be vulnerable enough.

the reason i ended it with reader still having anxieties and even saying ‘what if i try to run away again’. is because it’s not happily ever after once you’ve found your person, and reader’s problems aren’t going to magically go away because she ‘got the guy’. she’ll keep learning and growing and making mistakes. but the difference is she has someone in her corner who will be with her through it. hence jake saying ‘then i’ll chase after you’.

at some points i thought the dialogue might seem cheesy, but this is based in the way that i/my friends talk and conversations that i’ve had. so…take that how you want. maybe me and my circle is cheesy lol.

pleaaassseee leave a review/ask/comment- whatever. as i said this is my baby and im curious to see whatever you have to say about this work, what it made you feel or think about, and also answer any questions!! i have these characters pretty fleshed out so i’d like to think i have the answers lol.

thank you again for reading!! — jaz

THE SALT UNDER THE SEA ˒˒ 심재윤͏ ⨾ 박종성 ▸  part two of the player’s game series⌇playlist & series tag

the death of your grandma has you returning back to your mother’s seaside hometown—the same town you left jake in a year ago—for good. now that you’re back, so are the feelings you really desperately wished to leave behind. it doesn’t help that now you’re caught in the crossfire of two guys with a rough past who want to be with you.

pairing ‎⸝⸝⸝ sim jaeyun x reader, park jongseong x reader 𓄵 iηcℓudᥱs 𓈓 cousin jungwon, bestfriend!jay, player!sunghoon, and oc hana (jake’s ex)

genre﹙📓﹚⸝⸝⸝ exes to lovers, bestfriends to ???, angst, smut, fluff, lifeguard!jake, ex player!jake, bestfriend!jay, lifeguard!jay, lifeguarding inaccuracies, love triangle, slice of life, some h2o references, beach au, summer romance

warnings ‎⸝⸝⸝ if you didn’t like reader in the first part then you won’t like her in this one, reader’s grandma passing, alcohol, multiple unprotected sex scenes, soft dom!jake, mean dom!jay, toxicity, jayke constantly one-uping each other, jealousy and possessiveness, arguing, size training, marking, inexperienced!reader, blowjob/handjob, riding, corruption kink, jake is a munch, pussy eating, oral fixation?, cum swallowing, slight fingering, petnames (baby, pretty, good girl), name calling (slut, whore), praise, reader gets talked through it, creampies, degradation, hair pulling (both m. & f. rec), dirty talk, rough sex, overstimulation, slight manhandling, body worship, dumbification?, cockwarming, service top!jake, pussy drunk!jayke, pictures & videos taken during sex, cumshots/facials

kipo’s note ‎⸝⸝⸝ literally went through hell trying to get this part two out but here we are!!! once again, this is for the lovely @jjunberry ♡ literally this wouldn’t even be here without you so i hope you like it!! (⁎˃ᆺ˂) thank you to all of you for being on this (very long) journey with me! hehe ^^ i hope you all enjoy this!! ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏͏ ͏ ͏ ͏ ︵͡ 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙙𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙗𝙡𝙤𝙜𝙨 𝙖𝙧𝙚 𝙬𝙚𝙡𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙚 (⌒‿⌒)♡

∿ [ 27.5k ] ⋆ [ continue on to . . . masterlist ]

[ BEFORE — ONE MONTH SINCE LAST SUMMER ] 𓇼 the salt in your wounds still lingers.

just when you thought your life was finally getting better, finally getting back on track after the summer you’ve had, everything comes crashing down with just one phone call.

it was like watching a car crash in slow motion, your mother’s face. you knew from the start that your grandma wasn’t going to make it, and you couldn’t help but feel guilty. a mere month since you left… would things be different if you and your mom stayed in her seaside hometown like originally planned? deep down, it felt like it was all your fault.

two more months passed before your grandma passed on. “from the sea i came and to the sea i shall return,” she always told you. “don’t be sad when i go, when you see the ocean waves that will be me saying hello.” the day it happened your mom had already booked the next flight out for her funeral.

going through your belongings as you pack your bags makes your guilt run deeper and all it does is make your mind flash back to just three months ago when you were by the sea and everything felt too much. your eyes travel to your dresser—jake’s note and all the developed pictures sat safely in an old jewelry box that you haven’t touched since putting the items in there. you didn’t even look at the pictures after you had gotten them developed, it just hurt too much.

still, your mind was muddled and as you finished packing your suitcase to the brim nothing became clearer. these three months gave you plenty of time to think over the entirety of last summer with detached emotions—a new perspective.

do you still love jake? of course you did, it’s most likely that you always will. how could you not? he was your first love. do you forgive him for everything that he put you through last summer? you still weren’t sure.

but damn if you didn’t miss him.

for the first time you felt the urge to look at the pictures you and him took—fingers twitched towards the jewelry box. with a sigh, you stood from your bed and grabbed it, the soft music playing as you opened the lid. carefully, you grabbed the pictures and made your way back to your bed.

as you flipped through all of them, a memory came to the forefront of your mind with each photo.

a smile pulled at your lips at the photo, it was of you with a shocked smile next to a brightly smiling jake. his arm was around your waist and the two of you were almost chest to chest. “i want my first memory to be of you.”

another of the two of you, a wall of graffiti behind you—right after your first kiss. jake was pressing a kiss to your cheek and you looked flustered. “you said you wanted physical memories, right? say cheese!”

the last one you looked at was of you, jake, and sunghoon before you noticed the tears blurring your vision. the three of you smiling as jake pulled you all close together for the camera. “group picture!”

you glanced over to your phone on your bed. even now, jake still contacts you everyday—even if you don’t answer him. mainly it’s been him checking up on you and making sure that you’re okay, asking how your day was. you haven’t answered a single one of them, yet he hasn’t stopped. against your better judgement, you read every message that came in—the most recent being his condolences.

you don’t know what to say to him. so many things have been left unsaid that every time you go to type a message your fingers freeze and your mind runs with everything you want to tell him. then you decide to just not say anything at all. besides, you didn’t think you'd ever see him again, so what’s the point?

if you were being honest, a part of you is still closed off, untrusting of him. you didn’t want to give your heart to him in fear he might break it again. you refused to feel like that again.

with a heavy and shaky sigh you put the pictures back where they belonged and made your way downstairs with your suitcase.

the next day you were on a flight to your mother’s seaside hometown, just like you were three months ago. jake’s letter filled your mind and your dreams surrounded him.

“i love you. i love you. i love—”

your mom nudged you awake just as the plane was beginning to land. you rubbed your bleary eyes and blinked rapidly to try and get your eyes to adjust to the bright sunlight. nudging you again, your mom said, “wake up, we’re about to land.”

deja vu hit you and hit you hard. rolling out your sore neck, you prepared yourself for the landing. you still hated planes.

the drive to your aunt’s house was silent, as you got settled in and prepared for the funeral it was even quieter. your ears practically rang with the sound of silence and your body felt like it weighed a ton with the heaviness lingering in the air.

you all were dressed in black in the living room. your aunt was desperately trying to lighten the mood, and it was only half working. “come on everyone, you know she’d come back from the grave and kill us if she saw our faces right now! she wouldn’t want us to be sad.”

your mom nodded sadly, reciting your grandma’s words. “don’t be sad when i go, when you see the ocean waves that will be me saying hello.”

“exactly! now let’s go and celebrate the life she lived instead of being sad it came to an end!” your aunt smiled softly.

it was a lovely service, your grandma’s funeral. you think that she would be happy with it.

you and jungwon decided to walk back home after the funeral. honestly, you both didn’t think you could be in a car with the dark cloud surrounding you all, it felt too claustrophobic.

on the way home you both stopped at a food place since you were still hungry. the two of you ate silently before jungwon looked behind you and suddenly stood to his feet, murmuring a quick “i’ll be right back.”

you looked behind you at his retreating figure, confused. just as you were turning back to your food you saw it out of the corner of your eye. your heart stopped. you could barely see with jungwon blocking the way but you could spot him anywhere.

it was jake.

you continued eating. you weren’t ready to face him, especially not right now. you don’t think you could even look at him right now. instead, you opted to watch the scene from the corner of your eye.

you could barely hear jungwon and jake’s conversation, only managing to hear jungwon say, “she really doesn’t need any drama right now, man…” jake backed off, but not before you turned and the two of you made the briefest of eye contact before you quickly looked away, taking another bite out of your sandwich.

all you managed to catch was the blonde of his hair that he pushed off his forehead as he turned.

now you wished you took the chance to get a good look at him. it’s only been three months since you last saw him, but already you were forgetting the exact color of his eyes and the way his voice sounded. were they more of a honey brown or a mahogany? you didn’t remember.

it was eating away at you how much you already forgot.

you and jungwon finished your food in silence. before the two of you walked back home, he asked if you wanted to swim before you left. you shook your head as you stared out to the sea. it was a sunny day, but you just couldn’t bear to step off the boardwalk. “maybe next time i visit,” you said, though you didn’t know if there would be a next time.

[ RETURN — A YEAR SINCE YOU’VE TOUCHED SAND ] 𓇼 two hundred seventy-four days since you’ve last seen him.

your heart beat fast as you looked out the plane window to your mother’s seaside hometown—your new home. there was no need for your mom to nudge you awake since you weren’t able to sleep for the entirety you were on the plane, the nerves were eating at you.

you never thought you’d be back here, never thought that you’d ever say goodbye to your own hometown—which was also your late father’s—but here you were.

when your mom told you that you’d be moving here permanently you didn’t know how to feel. on one hand, you understood your mom’s decision. it was just you and her out there miles away from your family and everything must’ve reminded her of your father. it reminded you of him too. on the other hand, you desperately wished she would change her mind.

it was enough seeing that one glimpse of jake nine months ago, but to see him over and over and over again? you didn’t think you could take it. he still texted you, even more now since, and you still haven’t answered. things between the two of you still remain unsaid.

but you also couldn’t help but count down the seconds until you laid your eyes on him again. it set your skin alight and you couldn’t help the small smile on your face and the giddiness you felt. was it selfish, yes, but after everything you think you’re finally ready to face him again.

to give your relationship another chance. to give him your heart again and not be fearful that he would break it, that he’d keep it guarded and safe. after all, he said he would wait for you.

and if he didn’t protect your heart, you’d pull back and it would be as if you never had anything to do with him again.

“y/n? are you listening?” you heard your mother’s voice call out. you snapped back to reality, blinking a couple of times to get your wits.

you were no longer on the plane. now you were lugging suitcases into your aunt’s house. your aunt was delighted to hear that you and your mom would be moving here. there was plenty of room in the house until the two of you got your own place.

“mhm,” you mumbled, though you definitely weren’t listening.

your mom sat the suitcase she was carrying in front of you and grabbed your shoulders. “is it that boy from last summer? what was his name? jacob?”

“jake,” jungwon answered for you as he walked out the front door to grab more boxes.

your mom snapped her fingers. “jake! that’s it. listen, i know you had some problems moving here because of him, but use this as a way to put yourself out there more than last summer! there’s more wonderful people here than just jake.” she gave you a sympathetic smile and continued carrying stuff inside while you remained planted to the same spot in the driveway.

it wasn’t “just jake” that worried you. it was all of his friends and hana. you didn’t want another summer full of drama, especially if you and jake did start dating again.

getting all your boxes and suitcases into the house went quick and relatively easy. you decided on unpacking all of your things later, right now your mind was too clouded.

jake’s letter sat carefully in your anxious hands. you must’ve read it a million times over now and you could barely wrap your head around it still.

“two people who are meant to be will always find a way back to each other. and we are meant to be. no matter how long it takes, i’ll wait for you.”

it was now or never. you grabbed your phone and opened your messages up to your conversation with jake. his last message was from this morning, hoping that you had a good day today. he must not know that you’re back and for good. with a shaky sigh, you let your fingers move across the keyboard.

you: meet me at our spot.

your hands shook as you quickly made your way downstairs and out the front door. your heart raced and your breathing was labored as you let your feet guide you. the more you thought about jake the faster your feet carried you towards him.

you felt the smile grow on your face as you caught a glimpse of the sea and the sand, the grittiness already finding its way into your sandals. you were moving so fast that you didn’t notice the person in front of you until you smacked directly into their chest.

“oh my god!” you exclaimed as you came to a sudden halt, eyes wide, “i’m so sorry, i wasn’t paying attention to where i was going!”

“we’ve got to stop meeting like this,” a familiar voice joked. you looked up, the smile on your face widening more as you stood face to face with jay again. his smile matched yours and you laughed out of disbelief.

“jay!” you laughed, “it’s been a while, how have you been?”

jay ran a hand through his damp hair. “same old, same old. how have you been? i heard you left this place for dead! never thought i’d see you back here again.” the teasing in his voice was obvious but you could see the concern in his eyes. flashes of the last time you saw him ran through your mind. funnily enough, you ran straight into him just a year ago while running from jake.

your smile faltered slightly but you tried your hardest to not think about last year. “well, let me be the first to tell you that i’m back for good!” jay’s eyebrows raised in shock and you nodded. “just moved back with my mom! you’ll be seeing me around a lot more now,” you continued playfully.

“i’m sorry about your loss, by the way,” jay said, expression suddenly serious. you waved a hand in the air, letting him know that it was okay. time and place. “well, i’m glad you’re back! this place really sucks without someone like you around,” jay added.

laughing you shook your head slightly, “then we should hang out sometime!”

“text me the plans and i’m there!” jay replied and pulled out his phone. he passed it to you with a “new contact” screen opened and you quickly filled out your information.

“i gotta go, but we will be hanging out sometime this week!” you waved as you began to step away. jay nodded with a smile. “clear your schedule!” you tossed over your shoulder as you walked away. behind you, you heard jay’s laugh.

“wouldn’t miss it for the world!”

you shook your head, continuing on your path to you and jake’s “spot.” this time you took your walk slow so you wouldn’t run headfirst into anybody else.

jake nodded along absentmindedly to whatever sunghoon was saying to him, not listening at all as he stared out at the people swimming in the ocean and the calm ocean waves.

he was bored out of his mind.

suddenly his phone vibrated and he pulled it out of his pocket. jake blinked a couple times to make sure what he was seeing was real. once he saw that it was you who was undoubtedly texting him, he jumped to his feet.

you: meet me at our spot.

“—and then i told her that i already warned her. this is the relationship that she—hey! what the fuck, jake?” sunghoon called behind him as jake suddenly took off.

jake could care less about sunghoon right now when you were here. you’re finally back, and not only that—you’re asking to see him. jake feels like his heart might explode. nine months since he’s last gotten the tiniest glimpse of you. nine months since he last had his breath taken away. a whole year since you’ve slipped through his fingers.

he wasn’t letting you go this time.

“where are you going?” sunghoon yelled, yet jake made no efforts to stop or even slow down. distantly, he could hear sunghoon shout, “asshole!”

like always, jake made it to your spot before you did. it’s only mere seconds until you’re arriving after him, taking his breath away once again as he goes to turn and sees you standing there.

you look so different, yet the exact same as when he last saw you. all jake can do is stare at you wide-eyed, mouth agape as his head completely empties.

“y/n,” jake finally breathes.

in response, you inhale sharply. “jake…” you notice that his hair is it’s natural color—a dark brown. the blonde hair he had last year is nowhere to be seen whatsoever and his hair is even longer than it was, half of it disheveled and touching the top of his lips and the other half tucked semi-neatly behind his ear. and his eyes… how could you ever forget?

brown moonstone. they look just as they did when the two of you laid under the stars together.

without thinking the two of you rush towards each other before abruptly stopping just inches away. hesitantly, jake closes the gap as he reaches towards you and gently places his hand on your cheek. you can feel the way it tremors—as if his hand might go through you. he takes a small step towards you until you can almost feel his breath fan across your cheeks as your eyes flutter closed for the briefest of moments.

as they open you look up at him, at the eyes that put you through so much. you pressed your lips to his softly.

instantly, jake is kissing you back. in it, you can feel everything that he’s been wanting to say to you for the past year. the kiss is desperate, searing, and passionate. it rips the oxygen right from your lungs and still you wrap your arms around jake’s neck to pull him closer. like if you stopped kissing him the world would crumble beneath the two of you.

only when you both can’t stand the suffocation anymore do you pull away—just barely. your heavy breathing mixes and your eyes are still closed. your grip on the back of his shirt tightens and jake leans his forehead against yours heavily.

“i missed you,” he says, just above a whisper. “i missed you so fucking much, you don’t understand. i’m so sorry.”

you kiss him again because it’s the only way you can show him how much you missed him too. jake’s hands move to your waist and pulls you closer so you’re completely pressed up against him.

memories of last summer force it’s way through your clouded mind. the two of you standing in this exact spot as he begged you not to leave.

abruptly, you broke away from him, hands pushing against his chest as you took several steps back. you turned your back to him as you tried to catch your breath, running your hands down your face. inhaling sharply, tears sprang to your eyes at all of the overwhelming emotions you were feeling. exhaling, you tried to steady your heartbeat that filled your ears.

being in this place wasn’t helping. as you looked around the rocky walls, more and more memories flowed through your mind. “i hate you,” you spoke, turning completely to face jake. your voice lacked the punch the phrase needed. instead, it sounded almost… defeated. a tear slid down your cheek.

“i know,” jake replied. he knew what you were really saying, could feel it in the same desperate way you kissed him back.

“and i hate you for what you’ve done to me,” you added while drawing closer to him.

“i know.”

you drew closer until your tight fists we’re resting against his chest. you avoided his eyes as more tears fell. “and i hate that i spent the entire year we were apart only thinking about you—i hate you.”

jake could feel the way your body shook against him. he took your closed fists into his hands. “i know, baby, i know.”

and he did. he knew that “i hate you” really meant “i love you.” and you did. you really did love him.

jake moved your hands back to your sides, letting them go but having his hands still hovering near them. “walk with me?” he asked, moving to wipe your tears away with the pads of his thumbs gently. you nodded in response as you stared at him finally. jake dipped his head down towards you and softly pressed a kiss against your lips before guiding you out of the cave-like opening.

silently, the two of you walked side-by-side in the sand through less populated paths. you both didn’t speak, and it was probably for the best as you both processed everything between the two of you.

you were walking along an empty part of the beach, the sun just beginning to set, when you decided to break the silence. “i missed you too,” you spoke, your eyes following the way your feet left footprints in the sand.

you looked to your side at jake, “i really missed you.”

the two of you came to a stop. jake looked at you with furrowed brows, like he still couldn’t believe if what he was experiencing right now was true or not. he kissed you.

if even possible, this kiss was more passionate and desperate than the last. your already swollen lips were hot to the touch and no matter how much the two of you pulled each other closer, it wasn’t close enough. the kiss then turned feverish and you both pulled away to breathe. a silent question hung in the air and you nodded ever so slightly.

jake then intertwined your hands, pulling you off into some direction you weren’t familiar with until he was pulling you into a house that you could only assume was his. you barely even wrapped your head around the fact that you were actually in his house for the first time before he was pulling you up the stairs and into his room.

his lips met yours again and finally all the unsaid things spilled out from between the two of you as you pulled each other’s clothes off. jake laid you on the bed, fingers just barely gripping the waistband of your shorts and underwear. you were under him in just that and your bra.

“yes or no?” he asked you breathlessly, voice low.

“yes,” you responded. just as fast as you did, you were half naked underneath him. jake didn’t wait as he unclasped your bra with one hand and tossed it somewhere out of sight as his lips smashed against yours. he pulled away and you barely got to blink before the both of you were completely naked.

you watched as jake reached over to his nightstand and grabbed the ponytail off of it. he messily tied back his hair before placing hot kisses down your stomach. you fought the urge not to moan. he continued slowly down your stomach and just when he reached right above where you needed him the most, he looked up at you with his signature smirk.

you inhaled and his lips attached to your core, causing you to gasp loudly. his arms wrapped tightly around your thighs to keep them apart as his tongue pulled you closer and closer over the edge. you almost broke completely when he pushed his fingers inside you, curling them at just the right angle that made you see stars.

your hands were in his hair—messing up his already messy ponytail—and your moans filled his bedroom, not even worried that someone else could be in the house. all you cared about was how good he was making you feel and how much you missed his body on yours.

it didn’t take long until the rope was snapping and you shakily told him that you were about to cum. moments later jake’s fingers and mouth was dripping and he was licking them clean while you hazily stared at him, mind too foggy until his lips were suddenly on yours again and his hands were trailing up your sides.

“i need you,” you whined softly as you stared into jake’s eyes, “please.” you clawed at his back in attempt to bring him closer, your body on fire and he was the only way to bring down the heat.

jake pressed a soft kiss to your lips and looked down between your bodies as he lined his hard and dripping cock up with your entrance. he looked up, “tell me if it hurts, okay?” you nodded in return, bucking your hips up slightly and gasping when the tip of his cock grazed your sensitive clit.

slowly, jake pushed into you and it was much less uncomfortable than it was the first time. he waited a moment, eyeing the way your body reacted before looking at you in a silent question. you nodded and slowly he began to move.

high-pitched moans and whimpers left your mouth the more and more your body adjusted to him, and the more and more euphoric you felt. you and jake left love bites all over each other’s bodies without a care of the fact that it was in places people could definitely see, you were too caught up in the feeling of him surrounding you and jake was too caught up in the fact that you were finally in his arms again.

he barely let you out of his grasp, body firmly pushed against yours, as he moved in and out of you at a steady pace. his head was cloudy with your pretty sounds and his lips nipped at any skin he could. jake wished the both of you could stay like this forever, just the two of you together. he was scared of what would happen when he pulled out of you and it all ended.

would you regret it? say it was a mistake and that he should pretend like it never happened? or would this push the two of you back together again like he hoped? after all, you were the only one for him.

you inhaled sharply, brows drawn together and back arching off the soft blankets, and jake knew your body well enough before you started to clench down on him that you were about to come undone on him again. “j-jake…” you whimpered as your eyes squeezed shut.

“shh, baby, i know.” he moved so his thumb was now rubbing circles into your clit and watched the way you tried to shut your legs with a soft chuckle. he held them apart with his free hand. “let go for me,” he murmured, continuing his pace.

jake moaned and bit down hard on his bottom lip the more you clenched down on his poor cock. he felt like he was going to lose it at any moment as he tried to bring you closer and closer to the edge. “that feels good, yeah?” he asked you, accent thick and low. that sent you right over the edge, incoherent words falling from your lips, and you made a complete mess on his cock.

“shit,” jake said sharply before a moan escaped him. the sight went straight to his dick and it was almost instant with the way it twitched and he was cumming inside you, filling you up even more. his hips moved lazily, watching the way the cum spilled out of you and around him, painting his cock a pretty white.

slowly he pulled out of you and you whined at the loss of him, fingernails digging into his shoulders. more creamy white spilled out of you in a thick load and jake fought the urge to not push himself back into you and fuck you again.

he kissed your inner thighs and slowly made his way up your stomach and until he reached your lips in a heated kiss. your fingers raked through his hair, causing it to fall from the ponytail and spill out around both of your faces. once the both of you pulled away for air, you couldn’t help but giggle.

“what?” jake said, looking down at you with a bright smile. you shook your head. you were honestly just glad to be with him. you leaned up to catch his lips in another kiss. it felt like you were addicted to his lips and you cursed yourself in your head for ever putting you in the situation where you might’ve never been able to kiss them again.

jake looked at you fondly. “stay here, i’ll get something to clean you up.”

after a brief moment he came back with a damp cloth and a towel and gently wiped you down, making sure not to press too hard since you were still sensitive. once he was satisfied he laid down next to you and pulled you to his chest. “you did so good for me, pretty.”

your heart swirled at the familiar petname.

you weren’t sure when the two of you fell asleep or for how long, the sun’s golden rays just peaking above the horizon and starting a beautiful sunset, before you woke up. jake was still sound asleep next to you, the two of you still naked, and you slowly and quietly got up from the bed. you decided to take a look around his room since you’ve never been in it before.

he had old trophies and medals for various things, one of them being swimming, along with pictures of what you assumed to be an old swim team. there was pictures of his family and friends around that brought a smile to your face the more you looked at them. one in particular caught your eye. it was a polaroid of jake, jay, and jake’s bestfriend sunghoon.

you eyes widened. you thought jake and jay hated each other—if last summer was anything to show. why did they have a picture together? under it you saw that somebody wrote “swimming buds for life!” you checked the other pictures he had around again but this was the only photo that included jay. it made your head spin.

a familiar picture on his desk caught your eyes and you moved towards that instead. jake had gotten the pictures you took last summer developed too and had even dated them on the back. gently, you took the stack into your hands and looked at the picture on top.

it was the two of you at the abandoned skate park where you had your first kiss together. your head was tilted against his as you both smiled for the camera. a smile made its way onto your face and continued to grow as you continued flipping through the pictures, making your way to sit on the edge of jake’s bed.

you felt movement behind you and suddenly arms were wrapped around you as jake leaned up behind you to look over your shoulder. you gasped lightly when his hands rested at the lowest part of your hips and he placed feather-light kisses along your neck. “your awake,” you smiled as a chill ran down you, causing jake to chuckle lowly, sleep still at the edges of his voice. “i am.”

suddenly you were reminded at the fact that you both were still naked and the way your pussy now throbbed at his sleepy voice. you swallowed thickly and turned your attention back to the pictures in your hands. flipping the picture on the top to the back, you gasped and turned to jake in slight shock.

in your hands laid multiple pictures of you completely fucked out and dripping cum on a picnic blanket, illuminated by the moonlight and the flash of the camera. “asshole!” you nudged jake with a shocked smile and pulling a laugh from him. “i can't believe you took pictures of this!”

you looked back to the pictures with wide eyes as jake laughed more. “not funny…” you mumbled with a pout. you held one up where you were in full view of the camera along with jake’s cum covered cock hovering above you, “i look so out of it.”

jake took the photo from you and inspected it with a grin. “you were.”

you nudged him again, hard. jake laughed and wrapped his arms around you to pull you into him, placing kisses along your jaw. “it doesn’t matter,” he started, leaning his head against yours so his lips were near your ear, “these ones are for my eyes only.”

you giggled sheepishly, pushing him away from you as you tried to not let a wet patch form beneath you. you looked towards the window through the barely opened blinds. the sun was just about to set and you knew your mom was most likely wondering where you’ve been all day. jake followed your stare and you heard him sigh softly. “i should probably head home,” you stated quietly.

you turned to look at him, seriousness suddenly seeping into your features. “we’re gonna have to talk about this… about what this all means…”

“we can go slow,” jake said, cupping your cheek with one of his hands. “it’ll mean whatever you want it to mean.”

“bit too late to go slow,” you chuckled and he followed. you looked down to your lap, fingers fidgeting with the edge of the towel next to you. “i really don’t want drama this summer, jake.”

you glanced up to look him in the eyes, those pretty brown eyes of his. “i don’t think i can take another summer full of it,” you continued. jake nodded in agreement.

“this summer is just for the two of us. i promise.”

you let his words sink in before leaning up to place your lips against his in a soft and slow kiss. “now…” jake said as he pulled away, “are we just gonna stay naked, or what? because i’m really starting to lose my mind over here.”

heat crept across your face, especially as his eyes dropped to your nakedness. you covered your face with your hands as you turned away, jake’s laughter behind you, and moved to where he threw your articles of clothing. “timeout!” you muttered, as you pulled your panties on.

jake laughed more, “again?! hm, we’ll see…” he got up to get clothed as well. “let me walk you home.”

[ SUMMER — THE TIDES ARE PULLED BY THE MOON ] 𓇼 and you are pulled by him.

you almost jumped out of you skin, fingers grabbing at your pajamas, as you opened the bathroom door and were immediately face to face with your cousin jungwon. “jesus!” you nearly screeched as you held onto the door.

“so… jake walking you home, huh? what’s that all about?” jungwon asked. he took a few steps back to let you leave the doorway of the bathroom and you leaned against the wall nearest to it.

it was dark outside now and your face heated at the mention of jake. fumbling over your words slightly, you replied, “we were just… talking things from last summer over. he wanted to apologize in person.”

more heat spread across your face. it was surely one way to apologize…

in order for jungwon to not see your flustered face, you turned and made your way to your room, jungwon following in tow. you opened your door and walked around the room as you got ready for bed. discreetly, you tried to hide all of the love bites on you, suddenly regretting being so careless about where jake marked you.

“hm,” jungwon hummed, “are you planning on getting back together with him?” he sat at the edge of your bed, eyes trailing your movements. you saw the way his eyes stared too hard at a spot on your neck with a raised eyebrow.

you sighed softly. truly, you weren’t sure quite yet. you had just arrived and it was too early to tell how this summer was going to fair. and you really didn’t want this summer to be a repeat of the last one. you wanted to get more settled in before you decided to make any rash decisions—even though you and jake had already slept together just mere hours after you arrived.

you sighed to yourself again. maybe that wasn’t the best of ideas.

“i don’t know,” you replied, plopping down onto your bed next to him. “after everything… i-i just don’t want to be caught in another web. i can’t go through that again.”

jungwon nodded solemnly and rested a comforting hand on your back. “whatever you choose—be careful, y/n.”

this time you felt the gravity of his words—the same words he told you last summer when he tried to warn you in meddling in things you were unfamiliar with. in getting involved with jake and his and his friends’ game. when everyone tried to warn you.

even if jake claims that he’s changed, you needed to see it for yourself. not just through words, but through actions. and then, and only then, would you consider giving your whole relationship another chance.

“whatever happens, i’m here for you,” jungwon continued. you gave him a warm smile. “i will. and thank you,” you replied.

after talking to jungwon you decided to text jake with your requirements. your thumbs fiddled with each other and your heart raced as you waited for the three little dots that indicated he was replying to show up.

jake: i promise you i’ll do anything it takes to earn your trust back. anything. i’ll show you that giving us another chance will be worth it, that giving me another chance is worth it.

“everything is exactly the same as before, so there shouldn’t be any trouble,” mrs. song said as she led you back towards the front of the juice bar. you nodded in response as you followed her. “can you start later this week? say… wednesday?” she added in question.

“yes!” you nodded again politely. “wednesday is good! oh—can i ask you a quick question?”

“shoot,” mrs. song replied while waving off some kid trying to climb over the counter for more of the candy that sat in a bowl.

“last summer, a girl named hana worked here with me… does she still work here?” you asked as you looked to the floor with furrowed brows. pain stabbed through your heart and your mouth felt like it was full of sand just from saying her name. you hated the feelings her name evoked in you.

to think that you had an actual friend here in her… when all she wanted was to use you for her own gain. you knew it would be a ridiculous hope with how small the town was, but you still hoped you never saw her face again. never heard her name again. never felt these feelings that she caused. if you ever saw her again it would be too soon.

“oh, hana?” mrs. song questioned while focusing her attention back on you. “fired her not long after you left. horrible employee—i don’t know why i didn’t fire her sooner. or hired her in the first place.”

you let out a small sigh of relief that mrs. song seemed to pick up on. there was no way you could spend another summer sharing the same space as hana. it was impossible.

“you had problems with her too, yeah? hm,” mrs. song snorted.

after a bit more chatting and going over your future schedule you began to head out, trailing slowly along the shore. water lapped at your feet and your sandals swung limply from your fingers as you stared out at the calm waves. you think you could like it here after all.

“y/n!” you heard your voice being called.

breaking your attention from the sea, you turned in the direction of the voice. a smile grew onto your face. “jay!” you called back as he jogged up to you. “nice seeing you again!”

jay stood in front of you, holding a hand up to block the sun from getting in his eyes while he used his other hand to push his hair off of his forehead. you guided him away from the shore and towards one of the empty tables on the boardwalk. “was just getting ready to start my shift!” he replied.

you then noticed the outfit he was wearing—red shorts and a white tank top that read “GUARD” in bold red capital letters. a red lanyard with a whistle attached hung around his neck and he had a red visor tucked under his arm.

the two of you sat at the empty table and jay placed his visor onto it. he leaned forward slightly, a big smile on his face, “but i still have time to chat.”

and just like that it felt as if you were back at that campfire talking about anything and everything—like you and jay had been friends for forever now and it hasn’t been a year since you’ve last seen each other. the two of you just fell into such a natural sync.

you were even opening up to him about everything that happened last summer. mainly because you really couldn’t talk to anyone about it but him. he already understood all of the context and it was just so easy to talk to jay. you hadn’t realized how much you just needed a friend. and jay listened to it all attentively, not missing a single beat and inquiring about things you haven’t even realized.

“but enough about my past…” you murmured sheepishly, turning to the side to try and hide how warmth spread across your face. you just spend ten minutes talking about yourself and your problems without regarding the fact that it was probably coming off as extremely rude. “so how has the past year been for you?” you asked him.

you then gave him a cheeky smile. “any girls you’ve been seeing? interested in? tell me!”

jay laughed and shook his head a little. “no, i haven’t been seeing anyone. pretty much everyone here i’ve known for forever now… not the best candidates.” he leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms as he looked at you through his lashes. the corners of his mouth rose and he looked off to the side. “there has been this one girl, though… she’s definitely caught my interest.”

you gasped and leaned forward with your hands flat on the table. “what?! why didn’t you say anything sooner? i’ve been over here talking about my pathetic love life when we could've been talking about how good yours is going! have you talked to her yet? what’s her name?” the words flew out your mouth a mile a minute.

jay held his hands up as he chuckled, “woah, woah, slow down. i’ve talked to her a couple times now—but only briefly! i think she’s new in town, probably been here just a little bit longer than you have, actually.”

you grinned, “i’m excited for you! you gotta let me know how it all plays out. and don’t think i didn’t realize how you didn’t tell me her name!” jay’s face quickly turned red.

he stood from his chair, “ah, well, it’s all very new… haha, oh look at the time! my shift is about to start! bye, y/n!” he turned quickly as his words blurted out, throwing his words over his shoulder.

you rolled your eyes and stood to your feet. “whatever, i’ll get it out of you soon enough…”

jay pulled you into a hug as he nervously chuckled. “i seriously doubt it!” he mumbled under his breath before he jogged off.

“i will get her name out of you!” you called as you shook your head at him and watched his retreating figure, smiling softly.

you turned and continued walking aimlessly through the sand, feet sinking into the grains and leaving footprints. you watched as kids laughed and played with each other, darting around you and muttering passing apologies.

you were focused on the kid that almost ran into you running after their friends, not focused at all on the way jake crept up on you. “boo!” he shouted by your ear. you nearly jumped out of your skin, a loud yell erupting from your mouth. once you realized that it was just him, you hit him in his chest hard.

“jake?! are you serious!” you scolded, heat rushing to your face in embarrassment. you covered your face and he pulled you into him as he laughed hysterically. you buried your face in his chest briefly before turning out of his grasp and quickly walking away from the scene, trying to ignore the pairs of eyes that were on you.

jake trailed behind you and you heard him laugh more. “i’m sorry, i’m sorry! but that was so funny!” he said as he caught up to you. “you should’ve seen your face.”

he wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you closer to him. “what are you doing here?” jake asked as he glanced down at you.

“getting my old job back, what are you doing here?” you asked in response, “besides scaring me half to death?”

his smile grew, “came down here bored, until i saw you.” his eyes lit up suddenly. “oh! we should make another bucket list for this summer! since… since we didn’t get to finish the one from last summer…” he trailed off, eyes looking to the side briefly in regret.

you smiled at him, trying to diffuse the sudden awkward tension. “we should!”

jake guided you near the shore and the two of you sat in the sand. the two of you debated what to do this summer for a while, only managing to come up with a couple of things. one of which was going to this year’s summer splash event since you left last year before it happened.

“you’ll still be my date, right?” jake asked shyly. you chucked and nodded. “if you’ll still have me!”

jake gave you that same fond stare that he gave you before you left his house and it made butterflies erupt in your stomach. “of course i do,” he said.

it was such a simple sentence filled with so much. your brows knitted together ever so slightly and you watched the way his eyes darted towards your lips. it then seemingly felt like it was only the two of you on the beach, and you swear that the two of you slowly moved closer to each other.

the sudden shrill of a child’s cry broke the two of you out of your trance and you both snapped towards where a kid was crying over the way the sea messed up his sandcastle. you turned towards jake again and gave him a sheepish smile.

“uh—how about swimming! um, you teach me how to swim… since i can’t…” you sputtered awkwardly, hands waving in the air at the ocean. jake chuckled at the way you suddenly reverted back to your timid nature around him and nodded.

“yeah… i can teach you how to swim!”

you nodded after him. jake began to stand to his feet and you looked at him confused. “i can teach you now, in fact. do you have your bathing suit?”

you rose to your feet as well and nodded. you pulled the tank top strap off your shoulder and looked down to double check, nodding again when you saw the white fabric of your bikini.

jake tucked his finger underneath the thin strap that tied the bikini top around your neck. he pulled at it lightly before letting go and then smirked at you. “good,” he said simply.

your cheeks were already flushed with heat, but the heat just got hotter when you realized why he was smirking. it was the bathing suit you wore to the beach party.

playfully—and in an attempt to mask your warm face—you rolled your eyes and looked away from him. “get your mind out of the gutter,” you mumbled.

jake laughed, “all i said was ‘good!’”

“anyway,” you said, “we should add our names to that skate park! i feel like that would help me really cement my being here permanently.”

laughing harder, jake replied, “isn’t that vandalism? are you even good at graffiti?” he suddenly stopped laughing, expression serious. “wait—permanently? you’re here permanently?!”

still on the subject of the skate park, you shrugged. “it’s abandoned anyways, isn’t it? and how hard is it to use a spray can to write our names? it’s not like we’re tagging it, tagging it.”

jake grabbed your shoulders and your focus zeroed in on him. his eyes were wide as he looked into yours. “you’re here permanently?!” he repeated. you nodded, confusion shifting into realization at the fact that you haven’t told him yet. “yes, permanently. my mom and i moved here the day we met at our spot,” you said.

jake’s hands moved from your shoulders to cup your face. he then kissed you passionately, absolutely taking your breath away. you giggled when he pulled away and he started kissing you all over your face. “jake!” you giggled more, pushing him away from you slightly.

“i’m sorry,” he said a bit breathlessly, “you just don’t know how relieved i am to hear that.” he chuckled awkwardly as he gave you some space and tucked some of his hair behind his ear. “so, skate park? got it, anything you want to do! we have all the time in the world.”

you mind immediately snapped back to the skate park. “i feel like that’s not as adventurous as our last bucket list though!” you pouted.

jake pulled you towards where there were some free towels at the boardwalk. he turned back and cheekily smiled at you, “i can think of something adventurous.” you stopped in your tracks and swatted his shoulder. “i’m just saying!” jake laughed. “we’ve done a lot, but there’s still some things we haven’t done yet… you catch me?”

heat crept up the back of your neck and you crossed your arms across your chest. jake’s eyes darted down to the action. indulging him, you asked, “like what?”

jake stepped closer to you and reached up to mess with the straps of your bikini. he leaned more into you and dropped his voice so only you would hear what he was saying. “different places, different positions… there’s so many things i could do to you that you haven’t experienced yet.” your eyes connected with his.

“or you could do to me,” he added, lower.

you looked away, face on fire. jake dropped his hands from the straps he was fiddling with to his sides. he took another step closer to you until you both were almost chest to chest and grazed his hand along the side of your waist. jake leaned down until his lips were at the shell of your ear. “if you want,” he whispered.

he pulled away, smiling at you like he didn’t just insinuate what he did and cause arousal to pool in your bikini bottoms. he grabbed your wrist lightly and pulled you the rest of the way to the towels, handing you a rolled up one from the basket and taking one from himself.

you were still in shock, eyes wide as you stared at him. you then snapped out of it when you realized he was chuckling. tucking the towel underneath your arm, you used the basket of towels to lean forward towards him. discreetly, you slid your hand down his stomach and stopped right above the hem of his shorts. “sounds fun,” you smiled innocently. “i know exactly what i could do.”

you hand trailed lower before you backed away from him. you held in your laugh at just how quickly the bulge in his shorts was rising and his ears turned red. you looked towards the sea, “so where do you wanna start?” you asked casually. “i’m gonna have to strip these clothes off first.”

you turned back to him and smiled again, that same innocent smile.

the corner of jake’s mouth rose in a “two can play at this game” way. he opened his mouth to speak, but got cut off by someone suddenly entering your conversation. “look at what the cat dragged back in,” the voice said, mean and full of bitterness.

you almost instantly recognized that voice, and it seems that jake did too since his face instantly twisted into one of annoyance and hatred. he moved closer to you while also hiding his boner with the basket of towels.

hana walked up to the two of you with a sneer and a dripping popsicle in one hand. two girls you never seen before trailed behind her with a matching sneer. you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms against your chest, leaning your weight towards jake. “thought the two of you went up in flames last summer?” hana added.

she focused her attention on you, “don’t tell me you’re still falling for his ‘i love you’s’… how lame.”

jake scoffed, before either of you could say anything you noticed jungwon come up to you all. he pushed past the two random girls and shoulder-checked hana as he came to your side. “look what desperation dragged in. i know the saying is ‘misery loves company’ but this is just getting pathetic, hana. don’t you have a job to be at?” hana scoffed and opened her mouth, but jungwon beat her to it.

“oh yeah, you don’t. because you got fired. i think it’s time you go find one, don’t you think?”

hana rolled her eyes. “whatever,” she said, trying to pretend like she wasn’t bothered. she stuck the popsicle in her mouth briefly as she turned towards the girls. “didn’t want to stick around you losers anyways.”

she looked over her shoulder at you, “careful, y/n. you know jake’s still in love with me.” she then winked at him and jake’s face twisted further into disgust.

“you fucking wish. i was never even infatuated with you in the first place. you already know that sunghoon is the reason why i even stayed with you for those four months,” jake spit out, angrier than you’ve ever seen him. “stop making my life fucking hell and just move on already. i know i already have.”

you saw the way hana’s face fell and how she quickly masked it with a sickly sweet smile. “keep telling yourself that, jakey,” she said before walking away.

you loudly scoffed at her retreating body and the way she purposefully swayed her hips back and forth as you turned towards jake and jungwon. “the audacity she has is honestly astounding,” jungwon said, face mirroring yours.

“delusional,” you added, “the lot of them.”

“forget her,” jake said as he pulled you and jungwon’s attention back to him. he then smiled, “let’s go swimming!”

“how hard is it to put one arm in front of the other?!” jungwon demonstrated how to use your arms to swim once again as a laugh was pulled from him. he swam out farther into the sea and then swam back, standing where you and jake were. “see? easy.”

“i’m doing the best that i can!” you exclaim, throwing your hands up in the air in mild frustration as the remnants of a wave hit against your stomach.

jake then chimed in, “it’s actually not that easy!” jungwon turned to him in confusion and jake swam out a little from where the two of you stood. “there’s actually a certain way you want to move your arms in order to not hurt your shoulders.”

you turned to jungwon with a triumphant smirk. “see!” you said while crossing your arms. jungwon rolled his eyes.

jake continued demonstrating, specifically pointing out how to move your body to not hurt your shoulders. he also showed how to gain more speed and stay under the water for longer with breathing techniques. “here, let’s do it together,” he said, swimming towards you.

he made sure your positioning was correct and guided you slowly towards the deeper part of where you all stood. “like this! if you’re feeling any type of pain in your shoulders than you’re doing it wrong.”

after a couple minutes of adjusting and positioning, you really thought you were getting the hang of it. when jake was guiding you there wasn’t any pain in your shoulders at all, but as soon as you started to do it on your own you immediately felt the tightness in them. your face scrunched up as you instantly reverted back to doggy paddling, causing jake and jungwon to laugh.

with full shame, you doggy paddled back to where they stood. “you know… i don’t think swimming is for me, actually.”

“i tried teaching her last year,” jungwon started, amusement tinging his voice, “she literally almost drowned. it’s hopeless…” you glared at him and then rolled your eyes. you’d like to think that if it weren’t for the large waves that day that you would’ve been fine.

jake laughed and you glared at him too, though without as much venom. “it’s a good thing i was there!” he looked at you with the biggest smile on his face and you rolled your eyes at him too. they both laughed again as you tried to think of the quickest way to discard bodies on a public beach.

“we’ll try teaching you again another time,” jake continued. “you’re…” he trailed off trying to find the right word for what he was thinking. “horrible,” jungwon concluded.

“still a novice!” jake quickly corrected. you mumbled out a lame insult to the both of them and walked towards your towel on the beach.

they followed after you, still chuckling, as you wrapped the towel around your soaked body. “it’s not all your fault!” jungwon exclaimed. “your hometown didn’t have an ocean, or even a pool, really. don’t blame yourself!” you scoffed at his cheap attempt to make you feel better and the both of you laughed. your hometown barely had a highschool with a pool. you were never taught to swim in school because all the seniors poured so much gasoline into the pool as a prank that your school had to close off the area and it just never reopened.

coincidentally, that was one of the times jungwon was staying with you and your mom. on a dare, he made you venture into the closed off pool room and you almost didn’t make it out alive. yes, the two of you got in a huge amount of trouble by your parents. you made jungwon do all of your chores for the remaining two months he was there.

“we should probably start heading home though,” said jungwon, “i accidentally broke mom’s sculpture while helping auntie move in her stuff and might’ve insinuated that it was your fault…” your eyes widened as you slowly turned to him. he scratched the back of his head guiltily.

“what?!” you nearly shouted.

“yeah…”

you ran your hands down your face as you turned to jake. “i’ll see you later,” you sighed, moving into his open arms for a hug. “or maybe i won’t after this,” you added suddenly.

“i’ll see you later,” jake repeated as he laughed.

as you and jungwon walked off—more like ran since you were currently trying to smother him in the sand—he kept looking behind you and laughing to himself. you caught him the act again just as the two of you were about to leave the boardwalk. he looked behind the two of you, shook his head a little, and laughed. “what?” you asked him. he hummed in question at your response. “what’s so funny?” you continued, looking behind you as well. you couldn’t tell what could possibly be making him laugh.

“oh, nothing.” jungwon looked behind him again. you nudged him with your elbow, trying to get him to confess.

jungwon laughed again. “jake’s been staring at you this entire time with the fondest, most lovesick puppy look i’ve ever seen. i don’t think he moved from that spot or even blinked since we walked away.”

you whipped your head around and looked around until you saw him. indeed, jungwon was right. you smiled to yourself and gave him a little wave. the smile on jake’s face grew as he waved back.

“gross,” jungwon commented as the two of you turned out of jake’s sight.

jake had, once again, put himself in the position where he was forced to listen about sunghoon’s recent victim’s complaints about their relationship. ever since he met you, he questioned how he ever found any of this entertaining. listening to sunghoon go on and on about the girls he wronged just made him feel exhausted—and guilty. jake couldn’t even begin to imagine how the girls he fucked over must’ve felt. the only thing he could come close to was the image of your heartbroken face the day you left him a year ago.

he never wanted to see that face ever again.

“she wanted me to fuck her—i fucked her. i told her not to expect a relationship out of all of this—now she’s crying about how i was dragging her along!” sunghoon ranted to jake as they made their way down to the boardwalk. sunghoon turned to him with an exasperated expression, “i don’t know how more clear i can get!”

jake pulled the whistle from his shorts and put the lanyard around his neck. “have you ever thought of being in a committed relationship with someone?” he asked sunghoon. jake adjusted his lifeguarding outfit as they got closer to the boardwalk.

sunghoon made a face. “dude, be serious. i’m young! i’ll settle down with someone when i’m, like, thirty or whatever.”

rolling his eyes, jake laughed at sunghoon’s reluctance to commit to someone. “if you find anyone willing to be with you that you haven’t fucked over by then.” the two of them laughed and stepped onto the boardwalk. it wasn’t as busy of a day today, which jake was thankful for.

“alright, i gotta go. my shift’s about to start,” jake said and turned to sunghoon. jake clasped sunghoon’s hand and gave him a quick pat on the back.

sunghoon nodded his head over to the lifeguard who was coming off duty—jay. jake tried not to roll his eyes. “incoming, you know how he is,” sunghoon said. “see ya, man.”

they went on their separate paths and jake walked to where jay was so they could switch. jay looked over from where he was grabbing his towel off the elevated chair ladder. jay gave a tight smile to jake, which already made jake’s blood boil. the only thing he could think about when he looked at him was how close the two of you seemed that night at the beach party.

as jay cleared his things for jake, he tried to make small talk to make the tension less awkward and heavy. “have you heard y/n is in back in town? for good?” jay asked. why was he asking him about you?

jake tried to not let his fist meet jay’s face again.

he tried not to be possessive over you, especially since the two of you weren’t even together again yet. and he wasn’t one to try and keep you from your friends, but jay was a whole different story. jake tried to not let the jealousy seep into his voice, “yeah, duh. i’m the first one she saw.”

“hm,” jay hummed as he threw his bag over his shoulder.

what was that supposed to mean? jake side eyed him. he was the first one you saw when you landed, right? jake would absolutely recoil into himself if he wasn’t. surely it wasn’t jay who you saw first, right? jake ignored him and started to set his own stuff down.

“better hope you don’t fuck everything up again, never know who might swoop in and take your place.” there was the jay that jake knew. the asshole under this whole ‘nice guy’ act he had been playing.

jake turned fully to him. “who? you?”

jake almost laughed in his face. jay couldn’t be serious, but he promised you he would try his hardest to not let there be any drama this summer. even if his fingers itched to wipe that slight smug smirk off jay’s face.

jay just shrugged. “could be, who knows? she’s very likable and very beautiful. everywhere she goes she attracts the stare of some guy. and i would say that you know girls don’t like to be treated like garbage, but with your track record that clearly isn’t obvious to you. you already almost lost her for good once.”

jake’s anger boiled over completely and he squeezed his eyes shut for a second to try and calm himself. it did nothing. jake wryly laughed and stepped up to jay. “so you think you can take her from me? you?” jake laughed again. “i’d like to see you try. incase it wasn’t obvious—she’s in love with me, not you. don’t you hate being a pale imitation?”

jake wanted to bring up every way that he had bested jay—down to the smallest thing, such as being able to tie his shoes before him. he would always be the better man. and even if jake wasn’t in some aspect, he would make damn sure that at the end of the day he was. jay had nothing on him, you had to see that.

it angered jake that jay was even talking about you this way. in a way that suggested he could get close enough to you for the two of you to be together instead of you and him. ridiculous, it all was. the only thing jay would be is a lesser version of him, constantly chasing after anything he had that he could never have. jake should’ve put him in his place when he had the chance three years ago.

jay’s smug smirk grew. “i don’t have to do anything. all it takes is her finding out the truth about the piece of shit that you really are and the game you like to play. and what’s inept infatuation to true bonding?” jay patted jake on the shoulder and jake harshly glared at him and pulled his shoulder away. “best of luck,” jay said in a low voice before walking away.

as jake climbed up to his post, the heat of the sun was nothing to the scalding anger inside him. he knew one thing for sure—luck would not be on jay’s side if he had anything to do with it.

you and jake were meant to be together, and jay’s hollow words weren’t going to change that.

jay: hey, are you free? jay: cashing in that rain check to hang out.

you were on your way home, but it couldn’t hurt to hang out with jay. the two of you needed to spend more than twenty minutes together anyway and catch up more.

besides, the picture of him, jake, and sunghoon suddenly crossed your mind, reminding you that you had forgotten to ask jake about it. maybe jay would give you some insight on why the two of them had bad blood between each other when they were once “swimming buds for life!”

you: haha of course! jay: awesome, meet me at the boardwalk? jay: we can hang out at my place. you: i’ll see you there!

you turned around and walked back down the boardwalk, picking an empty table to wait at in a relatively clear area. the polaroid wouldn’t leave your mind as you speculated what could’ve possibly split them apart.

was it just a mere difference of opinion? or was it the two of them simply growing up and going their separate ways? your mind then replayed their interaction at the beach party last year, how angry they were at just seeing each other. it had to be something deeper than that. perhaps some sort of betrayal?

if that was the case, then who betrayed who? and why?

or maybe the reason was because of this game—the player’s game, as jay mentioned. the one that you have already been a victim of. his words crossed your mind, “there’s no winner in the player’s game. it’s best to know that before it’s too late.”

he had to be a victim of the game too, if he was saying that to you. were jake and sunghoon possibly a factor in it?

before you could speculate any further, jay’s voice shocked you out of your thoughts. “hey,” he smiled, grabbing your attention. you smiled back at him as you stood. “hey!”

as the two of you walked to jay’s house, he must’ve saw that your mind was elsewhere. jay nudged into you slightly as you walked side by side. “you’re quiet today, what’s on your mind?” he asked. 

you racked your mind for a way to bring up his and jake’s past friendship subtly, so as to not barge too into their private matters without permission. you decided to try and pose it a different way. “oh, sorry! i just got off work so i’m kind of everywhere right now…” you trailed off, before purposefully perking up as if you just thought of something. “hey, how do you and jake know each other?”

you then internally panicked, thinking that that was maybe too forward, and added, “i’ve been spilling my whole love story with him, and at the beach party the two of you seemed familiar…”

jay’s eyebrows knitted together as he thought over your question. you hoped that you didn’t hit a sensitive subject as you subtly wiped your sweaty palms onto the back of your jean shorts. “we use to be friends—best friends,” jay started, “and on the swim team together back in highschool. him and his friends were just really shitty, so i decided to distance myself from them for my own good.”

you nodded along at his words, trying to place them in the puzzle board in your mind. jay’s answer was vague, but at least it was something—a start. you’d just have to get your answers out of him and jake whenever plausible. 

a house that you assumed was his came up into view as the two of you continued walking. “so how did you get involved with jake? i know i kind of already asked you this before, but i’m still curious.” jay guided you towards the house as he spoke.

you told him about you and jungwon swimming in the ocean and how jungwon left to go get something to eat. about how you then mistakenly went further out despite not knowing to swim and how the waves kept beating you down. then finally about how jake had come and saved you.

jay gave you an incredulous look as he held open the gate to his backyard for you. you nodded in confirmation and his shock only grew. “i’m gonna have to teach you how to swim, then!” he exclaimed.

you looked around his backyard. he had a large in-ground pool with a nice patio set up filled with lounge chairs, tables, and an outside bar. jay’s backyard was absolutely beautiful. 

“apparently i’m a bad student, but it’s a deal!” you joked and jay laughed, leading you to where the lounge chairs were by the pool.

“show me what you got! you can’t be that bad at swimming.” jay then suddenly stripped off his shirt, leaving him in swim trunks. your eyes widened and surveyed the upper half of his body. jay slunk into the pool, going underwater for a few seconds, and surfaced. he slicked back his now wet hair and looked up at you expectantly. “well?” he chuckled.

you laughed, half of it full of shock and the other half full of nervousness, and stood from the chair. you began taking off your tank top and shorts as jay swam away from where you stood. once you were done, you dipped a toe into the water, face scrunching up at the coldness, and slid in completely. you shivered slightly as you slowly walked to where jay stood in the center of the shallow end of the pool.

jay motioned for you to swim a little and you ducked down until your chin touched the water. “jake taught me for a little bit last week, but it didn’t really stick,” you said as you swam around a little and showed off what you learned from him. you felt jay’s eyes on you as you swam and it made you nervous about your swimming form.

“well i’m a much better teacher than jake.”

you didn’t know how to respond to that, and you didn’t get the chance since jay swam up to you. jay’s fingers trail over your arms, positioning them as he told you how to move them effectively. he then had you swim around his pool more to see what else you needed to work on.

jay’s eyebrows were raised and he looked like he was holding back a laugh. “i told you i was bad!” you exclaimed, sulking down into the water as you swam to him.

“not bad, just…” jay trailed off and you quirked an eyebrow teasingly at him, “just…” jay laughed, not able to finish his sentence and you pushed him.

“see!” you laughed.

“it’s okay, we can fix it.” jay then came closer to you, instructing you to hold out your arms. he came up behind you, his chest almost pressing against your back as his hands slid down your arms. he began to move them in a swimming motion.

“this is the motion you want your arms to do—straighten your fingers more, you don’t want a cupping motion,” jay spoke. his hands moved to your shoulders as you continued moving your arms, moving them backwards and forwards and then down to your waist to do the same.

you heart rate picked up from just how close he was to you, his hands all over you, and his voice next to your ear. your breath hitched lowly as his hands moved to your hips. of course you noticed just how handsome jay was—you noticed when you first surfaced from the water and he scared you—but seeing it all up close was something different. being this close to him made you feel nervous, and it felt a little wrong, too.

you knew that you and jake weren’t together, but being this close to someone else after being so close to him felt a little dirty. like you were cheating on him in some way even though you knew that wasn’t true. it also—deep down inside you—excited you, being this close to another guy.

jay moved around your body until he was to the side of you. his eyes moved from his hands that left your hips and up your body and the way that it moved until his eyes locked on yours. a satisfied smile crossed his features. “just like that, you got it,” jay praised. you inhaled sharply at the way his praise went straight down to the pit of your stomach.

you hoped that your body’s reaction to him came off as nervousness. following his guidance, you gave a small leap as you swam around in a circle in the shallow end of his pool. you did another lap before swimming back to jay. he clapped a couple times as you reached him, a proud smile on his face. “i told you i was a good teacher!”

he grabbed your bare waist as you stilled and your eyes widened a fraction more than they already were. “next time, though, make sure you use your hips more. it makes the whole movement more smooth.”

the feelings inside you made you feel extremely guilty. jay was simply just trying to teach you how to swim, yet your mind was on anything but that. even now, with his hands sliding down to your hips briefly as he finished speaking, he was so close to you that you were practically chest to chest.

dumbly, you looked at him and into his intense stare, breathing hard. you nodded at his previous sentence, though you weren’t actually sure what he said to you. jay smiled, voice softer, “you did so good! you’ll be a pro in no time!”

all you could do was nod again.

there was then silence between the two of you, and this time you were sure that jay could feel the tension. the two of you held each other’s stare, unbreaking. suddenly, jay’s gaze flicked down to your lips and then back up to your eyes. you inhaled deeply as the look in his eyes shifted.

your phone then went off, the sound of a received text message seemingly louder than it ever was before. you and jay jumped apart, the tension in the air turning awkward as jay shifted away from you slightly. “uh, i’ll go get us something to drink…” he trailed off.

“oh—um, yeah…” you muttered awkwardly.

you both got out of the pool and you used the towel hanging off the back of the lounge chair to dry off before checking the message you received.

jake: hey, where are you? are you off work yet? you: yeah! i’ve been hanging out with jay. why?

the guilt ate away at you even more. you knew it was ridiculous—you didn’t do anything wrong, the two of you just swam around together. but everything just felt weird and off now, like it was a secret you now had to hide from jake. his next message didn’t make you feel any better either.

jake: hanging out with jay?! why are you with him? you: he’s my friend? and i haven’t really seen him since i got here… you: is that a problem?

jake didn’t immediately answer and it made you speculate about the friendship he and jay once had. your phone didn’t ping with his text message until right as jay was coming through the sliding glass doors with two cups in his hands. “i got us some lemonade, i hope that’s okay!” jay said, handing you one of the cups.

jake: no, not a problem at all.

instead of swimming more, you and jay decided to chill outside of the pool and soak in some of the summer sun and talk. the more you talked, the more the awkward tension that was between the two of you slowly dissipated and talking to jay again was easy.

the weird feeling inside of you didn’t disappear, though. as you talked, your eyes couldn’t help but be attached to jay. the way the sun beamed off his drying skin and how he kept pushing the long, damp strands of his hair out of his face. the way his whole face lit up when you said something funny and a smile broke out into a laugh. it made your heart race.

suddenly, it finally clicked in your brain. you were attracted to him.

guilt poured into you even more and you started to shyly avoid his gaze. if jay noticed the sudden shift in you—which you hoped he didn’t—he didn’t mention it. you made sure you eyes were focused on anything but him as you talked.

you tried categorizing jay in your mind as strictly a friend, but even then it felt like he didn’t fit into the box. like he belonged somewhere between “friend” and “potential romantic interest” and that alarmed you even more. so you did the only thing you could think of at the moment to metaphorically shove him back into the “friend” box.

“you know, you’re like my bestfriend, right?” you laughed, making sure to make eye contact with him.

jay’s smile grew. “i’m your bestfriend?” he teased, leaned forward on the lounge chair towards you. “write it in stone. get the friendship bracelets out!” a small sigh of relief escaped you and you laughed, glad that he didn’t give you a weird look or anything.

jay stood from his chair, a hand at his chest, “i feel like i have to say a speech now or something.”

you immediately waved your hands in the air in front of you. “no!” you dragged the vowel out, “that is not necessary!” jay laughed harder.

you checked the time on you phone and sighed. “i should probably head home now… my mom’s probably wondering where i got off to after work…” you stood to your feet, smile faltering on your face.

“no issue! ill walk you,” jay said.

you gave him another shy smile. it was probably best that you didn’t spend more time with jay at this moment until you sorted yourself out. you didn’t know whether it was that your emotions were still everywhere from the move and you haven’t quite settled in yet, or what, but you had to get it together and fast. 

“oh—don’t worry about it!” you quickly said, “i have to stop down by the boardwalk and pick up something for my mom.” it was a lie, but jay was standing so close to you that it was all you had.

“okay!” jay replied. he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a hug, shaking you a bit. “we’ll hang out some more sometime later, bestfriend.”

you laughed, hugging him back and ignoring your racing heart. you looked to the sky at the way the sun passed through the leaves of the trees. it was a little past noon and you were ready to get out of your bathing suit.

jay walked you to his backyard gate and opened it for you, following you out. “see ya!” you waved at him. he repeated your words, waving goodbye.

just as you turned away from him, a rundown van that honestly looked on its last life pulled up to the walkway. behind you, jay scoffed and you looked at the oncomer curiously as you kept walking. you heard jay’s footsteps behind you walk towards the van.

as you turned towards the path to the boardwalk, you heard jay say, “heeseung, when are you gonna get rid of that beat up fucking van? shit is falling apart.” who you could only assume was heeseung replied, “don’t talk about betsy like that!”

you laughed to yourself as you continued on your way away from jay’s house. 

as you were walking, completely in your own world, you felt an arm wrap around your waist. you nearly jumped out of your skin as you turned and screeched. jake immediately held his hands up, eyes wide and eyebrows raised.

“i’m sorry, i’m sorry! i didn’t mean to scare you!”

you let out the biggest sigh of relief before hitting him on the chest. “asshole! this is, like, the second time you’ve scared me nearly to death!”

jake laughed before wrapping his arms back around your waist, pulling you into him. he pressed a kiss to your cheek and smiled down at you. “i tried calling your name, but you weren’t listening! what’s on your mind?”

you shook your head slightly and shrugged a little. you were just glad to be in his arms again. “nothing,” you replied, “just a little spaced out, i guess.”

jake hummed and the two of you continued walking together. you noticed how jake had subtly guided you away from the path to the boardwalk and onto one you remembered from when you first landed here—his house.

this was your chance. with jay only giving you a vague answer about their history, maybe jake would give you more insight. you looked at him, “hey, jake?”

jake hummed again, brows slightly drawn together as he smiled at you. it was time to bite the bullet. “you and jay use to be bestfriends, right? what happened between the two of you?” you asked. jake’s smile fell and he looked down to the ground before looking forward. there was almost what seemed to be a flash of anger that crossed his features at the mention of jay’s name.

“uh…” jake trailed, tucking a stray strand of his hair that wasn’t already tied up behind his ear. “i was a really shitty person back then. i hurt a lot of people—did a lot of things that i now regret.”

that was basically a regurgitated version of what jay had already told you, it wasn’t enough. you needed to know more. “yeah, i know that already. but what did you do to him that you guys aren’t friends anymore?” you said, trying to make yourself more clear.

“why do you want to know so bad?” jake asked, slight annoyance in his tone as he looked back to you.  “did jay say something to you?” his arm around your waist tightened.

jake had never gotten annoyed at you, so you felt the need to defend yourself. “no, but i saw that picture on your wall with you, him, and sunghoon. ‘swimming buds for life!’” you sarcastically mocked as you did air quotes. “and you freaked out when you heard that i was hanging out with him. should jay have said something?”

the annoyance in jake’s features only grew and he rolled his eyes at the mention of jay’s name. you didn’t understand why he was acting this way over a simple question. you told him you wanted no drama, and you thought he understood that. so why won’t he tell you what happened between him and jay? you thought that he would start being more transparent with you after last summer.

you didn’t realize that you were already at his house until he pushed the door open and took your hand in his to drag you up the stairs to his bedroom. “it’s not important,” jake said, pushing his bedroom door open. you followed him through, shutting the door behind you to muffle the noise. “but it is!” you insisted, voice raising as you stopped in your tracks.

jake turned around so he faced you, running his hands through the hair that escaped his ponytail that he sported before running them down his face in frustration. “he’s my friend and you’re—” you cut yourself off, sighing deeply and sitting on the edge of his bed. “why can’t you just give me a straight answer? what is it? what is it about me and him being friendly that has you acting like this?”

you looked at the way jake started to pace in front of you with a worried expression. was what happened between the two of them so bad that it couldn’t even be uttered? surely not, right?

“i—i just can’t fucking stand him! and i can't stand you with him,” jake began to ramble, face twisted into an expression you couldn’t quite read. “you not with me. i can’t stand how he spun all of this to seem like he is the innocent one in all of this—like he wasn’t part of the game too! like he wasn’t a shitty person too!”

jake continued, voice raising, but never reaching a yell, “and i can't stand—couldn’t possibly fathom losing you again because of him.” jake came to stand before you, desperately looking at you.

you shook your head in confusion. “what are you talking about—losing me? how would you lose me?”

jake slumped down next to you, leaning over to run his hands through his hair that had completely fallen out of his ponytail now. you glanced around his room, noting the pictures of the two of you hanging up on his walls that weren’t there before. he had replaced some of the previous pictures with one of the two of you. just then, a lightbulb illuminated in your head. “jake… are you… jealous?” you asked him quietly, brows drawn together.

“yes!” he exasperatedly shouted, falling back onto his bed and rubbing his eyes.

you turned, “you have nothing to be jealous about? jay and i are just friends!”

jake shook his head, eyes still covered. “you’re gonna find out how absolutely shitty i was in the past and how he’s so perfect and want nothing to do with me.” jake uncovered his eyes and looked at you sullenly. “i don’t know what i would do with myself if you wanted nothing to do with me.”

you laid down next to him so you were face to face and grabbed his hand. absentmindedly, jake rubbed his thumb on the back of your hand. you looked at jake and his kicked puppy expression, “you don’t have anything to worry about, jake. nothing.”

you looked at him firmly to make sure your words were really sinking in. you may have found jay attractive, but jake is the one who kept you up at night. who you can’t stop thinking about no matter how hard you try—who you spent a whole year thinking about. the one who you graciously let hold your heart.

“there’s no competition between you and jay,” you added in a low voice.

jake seemed to relax and the line between his brows smoothened. “a girl,” jake suddenly said. you gave him a confused look.

“he was in love with this girl, but she liked me instead of him. when he found out things didn’t go over so well… split the whole swim team in half with people choosing sides. it was a loss for both of us.” jake looked down at your intertwined hands, voice quiet.

“well i’m not her,” you stated. “you won’t lose me.” 

jake looked up at you and you scooted closer to him, lips mere centimeters apart. “you won’t,” you repeated, pressing your lips to his. jake’s hand raised to cup your cheek as his lips fell in sync with yours. the two of you stayed like that for a moment, the kiss growing more passionate and desperate as time went on.

you straddled him, lips still attached to his, and instantly jake’s hands came to your hips. pulling away, you breathed, “let me make you feel good this time.”

furrowing his brows, jake looked up at you with confusion. “you always make me feel good,” you started, crawling backwards until your hands reached the band of his loose shorts. “let me return the favor.”

you crawled all the way off of his bed and sat on your knees between his legs, your hands resting neatly in your lap. jake sat up, eyes widening slightly as he stared hard down at you. you looked up at him with big, hesitant doe eyes.

“you cannot look up at me like that, pretty.” a shy smile grew at his words and at the way you saw the tent in his shorts grow.

“will you teach me how?” you asked him. you’ve never given anyone a blowjob in your life, you barely even gave a handjob. nerves flooded you at the fact that you would possibly do something wrong and that would be the end of it. or that you didn’t do it well enough and it was just disappointing.

you ran your hands up jake’s thighs and played with the drawstring of his shorts. jake screwed his eyes shut and nodded a little, inhaling sharply before opening his eyes again. “are you sure?” he asked you, worry tinging his features. “you don’t have to—and i don’t want to hurt you.”

“i want to,” you stated firmly, fingers hooking onto the band of his shorts now. you tugged lightly at it.

“alright,” jake breathed out. “don’t do anything you aren’t ready for.”

you nodded impatiently, eagerly pulling down his shorts and boxers in response. jake lifted his hips so they slid off all of the way, his heavy cock springing free from its restraints. you took his cock in your hands and jake lightly put a hand on the back of your head to signal you to stop.

“go slow, and don’t try to take more than you can handle to try and please me,” he said seriously. “i don’t want you hurting yourself.”

nodding again, you nervously looked at his cock in your hands. you weren’t sure what to do first. wrap your mouth around him or stroke him first? your grip was feather-light and you looked back up at jake so he could tell you what to do.

he caressed the back of your head comfortingly, “you don’t have to be nervous, baby, it’s just me.” jake gave you a reassuring smile and you gave him a small nervous one back. “you don’t have to hold it so lightly either, don’t be afraid to grab it.”

inhaling deeply, you tightened your grip until it was firm, but not too tight that you thought might hurt. jake moaned lightly, his eyes fluttering closed for a brief second. “i-is that good?” you asked worriedly.

jake nodded, inhaling hard. “yes, yes, just like that.” drips of precum slid down the flushed tip of his cock. “now, just move your hands up and down while twisting back and forth a little.”

you did exactly as he said, moving you hands up and down his length while maintaining the grip you already had. your eyes were trained on jake’s face and the way soft moans left his parted lips and his head tilted back more and more.

“good, baby,” jake breathed out heavily. you felt the way his cock practically throbbed in your hands. “when you get to the top, grab harder.”

“harder?” you asked, slightly more worried. your grip was already firm and he wants you to tighten it? jake nodded more, brows knitted together as his eyes squeezed shut, “mhm.” his moans were louder now and his hand that was at your head moved to press down into his mattress with his other hand.

you kept stroking him, his precum making the motion a bit easier. when you got to the flushed tip of his cock, you squeezed down harder. a loud moan left jake’s mouth as his hips bucked up into your hands. “ah fuck,” he groaned under his breath.

you smiled. it was nice to see him twisted in pleasure instead of the other way around. it was especially nice to know that you were the cause of it. that you were making him feel this good. you wondered if this is how he felt when he made you feel this good. it made your skin heat up and arousal pool at your core the more you thought about it and the more he moaned and whimpered for you.

jake tried hard to keep his hips still, but it was as if he physically couldn’t control himself. “can i try my mouth now?” you asked timidly. breathing hard, jake nodded. he looked down at you with hooded, clouded eyes of lust.

you sat up on your knees a bit and leaned forward. you looked down at his reddened mushroom tip and started with some apprehensive kitten licks. above you, jake inhaled sharply. you looked up at him nervously and you saw something shift in his features. his pupils blew wide with lust and his fingers gripped his comforter to keep his hands at his sides.

“slow,” he intrustructed. it came out almost strangled.

hesitantly, you wrapped your mouth around the tip of his cock as if it were a lollipop, sucking your cheeks in a bit. another loud moan was ripped deep from within jake and he threw his head back completely. you pulled your mouth off of him, eyes widening, before preparing yourself to take more of his cock inside your mouth.

you wrapped your mouth around him again, going farther down his thick length before you suddenly gagged. jake’s eyes flew down at you and his hand grabbed the hair at the back of your head to pull you off of him. “are you okay, baby?” he asked, frantic.

you nodded, wiping your mouth with the back of your hand as you looked up at him with watery eyes. his cock in you free hand twitched. you swallowed thickly, “sorry…”

he moved his hand at the back of your head to caress your cheek. “it’s okay, just take it easy. okay?” jake said softly. “okay,” you replied.

inhaling, you took him into your mouth again, this time taking jake’s advice and going slow. you went down inch by inch, stopping before you got the feeling of having to gag again. you wrapped your hands around the rest of his length that you couldn’t fit inside your mouth and applied the same pressure as before. 

slowly, you bobbed your head up and down, sucking inwards so your cheeks hollowed. “breathe—” jake spoke before getting cut off by his own moans and whimpers. “…through your nose.”

it must’ve been really difficult for jake, trying to control himself while talking you through what to do at the same time. even now, the more you sucked him off, the more you felt him struggling to still himself so he didn’t potentially hurt you. a part of you wanted him to just let go.

you didn’t even notice the fire in your lungs until he mentioned breathing. so you inhaled through your nose, the tension in your body immediately being relieved even though it took you a few tries to actually breath through your nose and suck at the same time. at the base of his cock, you moved your hands in the same up and down and twisting motion.

jake was practically panting now, knuckles white with the way he gripped his comforter. his moans and whimpers increased and his hips bucked up into your mouth lightly, signaling that he was real close to cumming. “shit,” jake cursed, half of it coming out in a whine.

his hand was at the back of your head again, using your hair to pull your mouth off of him. you kept moving your hands, this time bringing them up further—and squeezing at his tip—to accommodate the lack of your mouth.

you barely got to lean away before his cum was shooting out of him and all over your face and hands. drips of it landed on his thighs and jake fell back on his hands, a loud moan ripping through him as his head flew back. you kept stroking him, the remaining cum dripping down your hands, as you helped him through his high. jake’s hips lazily thrusted up into your hands as he tried to catch his breathing.

once jake was finished, his cock softening in your hands, he sat up to look at you. you looked at him with hesitant doe eyes again and his eyes widened to saucers as he took in the scene in front of him. “was it good?” you asked shyly, worry hanging on the edge of your words. you swear you felt his cock harden.

“perfect. it was perfect, pretty,” jake responded, gently grabbing your chin. you licked your lips and was surprised at the slight salty taste of his cum. jake smiled and chucked a bit, “if you could see yourself from my point of view right now…”

you smiled cheekily at him. “so take a picture and show me.”

that got him hard again.

jake raised an eyebrow at you, his smile turning into a smirk. he leaned down to his shorts pocket and fished out his phone, then he aimed the camera at you and you heard the click of a picture.

he still had his phone aimed at you. you giggled, “do you want me to pose?” jake laughed and you joined him. “if you want,” he smiled.

you lifted his heavy, half hard cock in your hands and placed your tongue at the side of his tip while you stared into the camera. “careful…” jake warned teasingly. “i don’t think i could control myself again.” you smiled before wrapping your lips around him, giggling.

a moan slipped past jake’s lips and you laughed, pulling away. he tossed his phone behind him and raised his brows at you. jake grabbed your arms and pulled you to your feet. “okay, little miss eager… let’s get you cleaned up. i don’t think you want to go walking around with my cum all over your face.”

being back at you and jake’s spot evoked emotions inside you that you weren’t quite ready for. being at your spot and laying under the stars with him caused a whole bigger tidal wave. it made you think of every moment that the two of you had here—good and bad. jake was right, this really is the best place to see the stars.

the last time the two of you watched the stars together, you were tucked into jake’s side, almost cheek to cheek. now the two of you were seperate—the only connection being the brushing together of your arms. you didn’t like how far away he felt, but you weren’t quite sure how to bridge the gap further.

you felt jake’s heavy stare on the side of your face and you looked over at him instead of the stars. you had spent the rest of the day together, roaming around the small town with your phones on record capturing every moment until the two of you ended up here. it felt like the day when you had stumbled into your shared spot and you and jake’s relationship changed forever. you quirked an eyebrow at him as the two of you stared at each other for a moment. you could tell that something was weighing on his mind.

jake exhaled, “i know you wanna take things slow, so i won’t ask you…” his eyes flickered to the stars before focusing on you again. you really appreciated how he was being open with his feelings with you, especially since he told you how difficult it was for him. “but, just know you’re the only one for me. no games, no lies, nothing. i want only you. you’re the only one i’ll ever want.”

you shifted so you were fully facing him, shocked at where this was coming from all of a sudden. you thought you curbed his earlier jealousy—maybe it was something else? “is this because of what hana said a few weeks ago? cause i don’t believe a single word out of her mouth. i know how you feel about me, i know that you aren’t a player anymore.”

“yes and no…” jake trailed. “i just want to make sure that you know. whenever you want to take things to the next level, i’ll be there. i don’t want you to think this is only about the sex for me, ‘cause it isn’t.”

jake then suddenly panicked, waving his hand in between the two of you. “though the sex is great—amazing, even, and i really, really enjoy it! so don’t think—”

you cut him off with a soft laugh, he is so cute when he is flustered. “i know, jake, i know.”

you sat up from the blanket you both are laying on. “turn around!” you tell jake. he smiled and turned towards the blanket while covering his eyes. “don’t look!”

taking a deep breath, you steadied yourself. you thought now was as good as a time to take things to the next level. in the sand you nervously wrote out ‘boyfriend? yes or no’ with check boxes next to ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ 

you knew you prioritized taking things slow—which you definitely didn’t do—and having jake’s actions speak louder than his words, but you knew what you wanted. you knew the moment you landed here and ran as fast as you could to him. jake is the one that you want—the one that you’ll always want, and his actions have already proven to you that he feels the exact way.

moving to the side a bit, you told him to open his eyes. you took your lip between your teeth as you watched him read your words in the sand. you let out a small sigh of relief when his whole face lit up and he checked the ‘yes’ box immediately. giggling, you climbed into his lap and smashed your lips onto his.

“oh! we should take a picture!” jake perked up. he pulled his phone from his pocket and aimed it towards the words in the sand. “physical memories and all, right? well, not physical, but you know what i mean.” you laughed as he snapped the picture and one of the two of you for good measure.

as jake walks you home, the air between the two of you buzzes—almost glows with the help of the streetlights. your hand is intertwined in his and the world feels like it’s back in order. it’s electrifying—the way you turn and stare up at him just before you step onto your porch. you open your mouth to speak, but jake already knows what the words will be.

just then, the porch light turns on and you quickly look back at it before looking back at him. with a sheepish smile you tell him goodnight. jake’s heart can’t help but swell as he smiles back and kisses you on your cheek. “goodnight, baby,” he murmurs.

jake watches you walk to your porch and disappear into your house—not letting go of his hand until the distance physically breaks the two of you apart. he begins to walk home, thoughts of you flooding his mind. jake is so fond of you that it almost hurts. he’s so in love with you that it actually does.

he’s looking through the pictures and videos you both took today, a giddy smile on his face as he starts to send them to you like you asked earlier. then a thought crosses his mind. is it his jealousy and slight possessiveness creeping in? maybe. but his fingers are already moving before he can stop them.

jake just hopes that jay still has the same number.

attaching the imagine of you asking him to be your boyfriend and the selfie of the two of you, jake presses send. he waits a second before typing the message, “oops, meant to send this to my girlfriend. my bad!”

jay: read, 10:57 P.M.

jake smirks as he slides his phone back in his pocket. he knew that he was rubbing it in jay’s face, but he honestly couldn’t care less. how dare he try to come between the two of you? jake wouldn’t be surprised if he only started talking to you so he could get one up on him. pitiful, really.

it didn’t matter anymore, because now you were jake’s girlfriend—and you were all that mattered to him.

“you just can’t help yourself, huh?” a voice said behind you.

you were in the middle of wrapping up your shift—cleaning the counter and tidying up for the next person’s shift. turning, confusion written all over your face, you were then face to face with hana. anger coiled her features into a scowl and she looked almost… paranoid? mascara clumped below her lashes and she honestly looked a mess. your brows knitted together at her words. what was she on about now?

“jake is mine,” she said with fevered passion. you just rolled your eyes and continued tidying up, opting to ignore her. that didn’t stop hana. she slammed her hands down on the counter, leaning forward. you raised an eyebrow at her. “first jake, now jay—you just can’t help going after my sloppy seconds, can’t you?” hana continued, almost shouting. she was borderline hysterical and you genuinely started to get worried.

“what? what are you talking about, hana?” you asked, turning fully to her.

your response only seemed to piss hana off even more than she was. red-hot anger boiled behind her eyes and she was attracting the attention of people passing by, but she either didn’t notice or didn’t care. “don’t ‘what’ me. you know exactly what i’m fucking talking about! what do they even see in you?”

you honestly had no words. hana stormed off, giving you one last glare. you stood in place frozen, rag hanging limply from your fingers.

the vibration of your phone knocked you back to your senses and you quickly finished tidying up. you clocked out and on the way home you opened your phone to see what the vibration was.

jake: lunch at your house with your mom today is still on right? you: yup! jake: see you there, pretty.

you pushed open your front door, gaining your mom’s attention. she must’ve walked through the door minutes prior since she was surrounded by grocery bags. you helped her bring them into the kitchen and unload them.

“so… you and that jake boy, huh?” your mother asked you innocently, putting stuff away into the fridge. you were next to her putting stuff into cabinets. “yeah,” you said sheepishly, “we’re back together now.”

she hummed, quiet for a moment. “i know last year the two of you had problems that hindered you from wanting to come back here—problems that i see have been resolved now. i can tell that he does really care about you, honey, so don’t be afraid to jump feet first.” she looked at you from where she stood in front of the fridge, a spacey look in her eyes. you can tell she was thinking about your father.

“thanks, mom,” you smiled at her. she snapped out of her haze, smiling back at you.

“and then—” you were cut off by a moan pushing itself out of your mouth, your back arching slightly off your bed. “and then she was just shouting like a maniac! the whole time i’m trying to figure out what she’s on about while everyone around us is staring.”

another soft moan left your parted lips and your fingers grabbed tightly onto your blankets. your brows drew together as your mind started to get hazy. you were just about to lose tract of what you were saying before the image of hana’s hysterical and angry face popped into your mind. “are you even listening to me?” you asked, flicking the blanket off of you.

jake looked up at you, lips attached to your core and fingers buried deep inside you. he hummed in question and it sent shockwaves throughout you—making your hips buck up into his mouth and your eyes flutter shut briefly. you pouted and jake pulled away from you, pulling his fingers out of you—the wetness coating them—and resting his hand on your inner thigh so your legs stayed apart.

“baby, i do not care about hana,” jake said. you scoffed and looked up at your ceiling, old glow in the dark stars sticking to it. jake chuckled and crawled up your body so you were face to face. “who cares what she said! she’s delusional and crazy—ignore her.”

you sighed and jake laughed more. “now, do you want me to continue or do you wanna rant more?” he asked you. you pouted more at him and he kissed your lips.

there was a knock at your door and you and jake panicked and he ended up falling off your bed and to the ground next to it with a loud thud. “one second!” you called as you pulled your panties back from the side and adjusted your skirt so it wasn’t halfway up your stomach.

turning to jake, you put a finger to your lips, motioning for him to stay silent. you went to your door and opened it up just enough to show your body. “what was that?” your mom asked you.

you furrowed your brows, pretending like it wasn’t jake falling on his ass, before acting like you realized what she was talking about. “oh, that thud? it was my suitcase—i still haven’t fully unpacked yet…” 

your mom tsked at you and handed you a dress. “found one of my old dresses while cleaning out grandma’s closet, i thought you might want it to wear to summer splash.” your eyes widened at you took it from her, a thankful smile forming on your face.

“it’s beautiful, mom,” you spoke as you examined it. she smiled before leaving you to unpack.

you laid the dress on the chair next to your closet before turning to jake. you held out a hand as you waited for your mom’s footsteps to retreat completely before rushing to him and helping him to his feet. the two of you smiled sheepishly at each other.

“i think i should go,” jake said in a low voice. he wrapped his arms around your waist and buried his face in your neck. the tips of his ponytail tickled your cheek. jake pressed a kiss to your neck, making you shiver, before looking back at you. “we can finish this later.”

heat rushed to your face and you nodded, fighting the urge to cover your face from him. jake’s smile turned to a half-smirk. he started to walk towards your door but you pulled him back towards you by his hand, a wild look on your face. “you can’t just go out the front door!” you whisper-yelled.

jake’s brows furrowed. “why not?” he whispered back.

you gave him an incredulous look. “jake, i snuck you in here,” you said before pointing to your window. “you were supposed to leave after lunch… you’re gonna have to use the window.” jake looked at the window and then at you, unmoving.

pulling him to the window, you opened it and the warm summer nighttime air hit you. you turned to jake and motioned to the window. jake raised his brows. he then intertwined your hands and rested his forehead against yours for a moment before kissing you gently.

“i’m going to be coming through your window all of the time now, i hope you realize that,” jake said lowly. you laughed softly at him, “i’ll leave it unlocked for you then.”

jake leaned on your open window, looking down at the grass below before turning to you. “you’re still my date to the summer splash event, right?” you rolled your eyes playfully at him, “duh! of course i am!”

jake smiled and kissed your cheek before stepping over the ledge of the window. he started climbing down before he unceremoniously fell on his ass again. you gasped and shouted in a low, worried voice, “are you okay?!”

jake gave you a pained smile and a thumbs up before getting up and shaking himself off. you watched as the living room light turned on. you and jake froze for a second, his eyes darting up to yours, before he took off—waving at you as he ran down the street.

you held in the urge to laugh as you quietly shut your window again, making sure to leave it unlocked. you were sure you were gonna hear about the “strange noises” tomorrow. you pulled your phone out and texted jake.

you: very smooth. jake: i know, i’m such a pro!

jake attached a blurry picture of him smiling while running that finally got you to laugh.

[ CHANGEOVER — THE SUMMER SUN SETS EARLY ] 𓇼 and a cold wind sweeps up the sea.

jake laughed—the vibrations traveling throughout your body as you laid on his chest—and scrolled to another video on his phone for the two of you to watch together. he had come through your window like he promised and the two of you had spent the night in the same bed. now the both of you were in the bare bones of your pajamas—you in a thin tank top and panties and him just in his boxers—the morning of the summer splash charity event.

after a couple more videos, jake shut his phone off and looked down at you on top of him. “as much as i enjoy you sitting on my cock, we should both probably get ready… today is gonna be a long day.”

you snuggled deeper into his bare chest. the simple feeling of being stuff so full already had your mind cloudy. “but i’m so comfortable!” you mumbled, glancing up at him. jake smirked.

jake’s hands trailed down to your waist, his touch sending a shiver down your spine. “hm, you’re so comfortable… how comfortable?” he asked, voice low. you sat up fully, a flirty smile crossing your features. you rested your hands on his chest.

“very comfortable.”

“let’s see, then.” jake’s smirk grew as his hands trailed down to your hips, head tilting to the side. his hands squeezed your hip slightly and you were practically already dripping.

you started rolling your hips, using your hands on his chest as leverage. both of your breathing started to get heavier. “like this?” you asked innocently, lifting your hips a little and dropping them again as you rolled them. jake’s eyes rolled back and his head fell back on your headboard.

“yes… exactly like that,” he breathed, voice almost hoarse.

the more you moved, the louder your moans grew and the cloudier your head got. at some point jake had to hold his hand over your mouth to muffle them. “shh, pretty,” he shushed in a husky voice. “i’m sure you don’t want someone to come in here and see us.”

you shook your head as you kept riding him. “f-feels so good, i can’t stop myself.” jake’s response was to kiss you instead, muffling your shared moans with each other’s mouths. he bit down softly on your lower lip and smirked at the way you moaned against his mouth.

the fabric between the two was seemingly too much for jake. before you could even chase his lips, your tank top was off and his lips were on your skin and his hands were exploring the new access to your body. you bit down hard on your bottom lip as his plump lips left love bites all over your skin.

a loud whimper left your mouth when jake adjusted your position so that he could easily fuck up into you. you buried your face in his neck to silence yourself, hoping that the loud sounds of skin slapping against skin didn’t alert any of your family members.

“f-fuck—” jake swore, voice stuttering as he suddenly stilled inside you. warm cum spilled into you and filled you even more. you looked up from jake’s neck through hooded eyes and watched the way his eyes fluttered closed.

jake exhaled heavily, his forehead resting against yours as his cum dripped out of you and down his hard cock. his lips sloppily connected with yours as his hips started fucking up into you again.

your brows harshly drew together as your moan was muffled by jake’s mouth. your nails dug into his shoulders and your body started to shake as each wave of pleasure hit you one by one like a tsunami.

“feels good, baby?” jake whispered near your ear, voice husky. you could barely answer him because if you did you would end up shrieking. all you could do was nod weakly as high-pitched whimpers and whines escaped past your lips.

jake swore again when you tightly clenched down onto him, body shaking like a leaf and nails so deep in his shoulders that you weren’t surprised if you drew blood. suddenly the floodgates opened and you were cumming harder than you ever did before as your body fully collapsed on top of jake.

stars swirled in your eyes as jake helped you through your orgasm, kissing your cheek and shoulder comfortingly as he rubbed circles onto your back. both of you were covered in a sheen of sweat and breathing heavily, the point where the two of you connected sticky with your mixed cum.

once your head wasn’t on cloud nine anymore, you shakily sat up. you gave jake a hazy smile and giggled. jake pulled you closer to him, chuckling, before he kissed you softly. “we might be in trouble,” he said in a low voice, accent heavy. you giggled again, ignoring the way your pussy throbbed from his voice alone.

you pulled away from him, almost fully naked body on full display for him. you both were definitely gonna have to throw away your respective panties and boxers after this. jake looked down at the mess you both created before caressing your waist with his thumb. there was that fondness in his eyes again. “you’re so pretty like this…” he trailed and you hid your face with your hands, heat rushing to your face as you shyly smiled.

jake pulled away your hands. “my pretty girl,” he said affectionately. you lifted your hips and pulled yourself off of his cock, more cum spilling out of you. you leaned back down to kiss him. “we should get ready now,” he said, pressing another chaste kiss to your lips.

you hummed before throwing his famous smirk at him. jake quirked an eyebrow, the corners of his mouth raising. “getting ready can wait another thirty minutes,” you murmured before trailing kisses down his body. jake’s breath hitched and his eyes fluttered shut when your kissed stopped right where the band of his boxers were.

your smirk grew. it was nice to know that you had the same effect on him that he had on you. that you could get him all worked up so easily like he sat in the palm of your hand. it made you feel on top of the world. “we aren’t done yet,” you said, grabbing his cum-covered cock into your hand as you began to stroke slowly.

a whimper left jake’s parted lips as his eyes cracked open. the corners of his mouth were still raised, “i’m gonna make you eat your words.”

it’s safe to say that you and jake were a little late showing up to the summer splash charity event. all around the beach and boardwalk were people participating in various contests and competitions to raise money for the sheltered animals in town. you were in one of your mom’s old dresses—it was so beautiful and formal that you felt a little awkward and restricted despite its flowiness—and jake had on a nice suit that matched your dress. the two of you looked stunning, if you did say so yourself.

at some point jake got pulled away from you by his friends to participate in a competition and you wandered the boardwalk looking at all the competing people. you could see why this was held every year, everyone was buzzing with energy and there were smiles all around.

“hey… y/n?” you turned to see jay coming up to you. you smiled at him.

“oh! hey, jay!” you said, turning to face him. he had a serious expression on his face and your eyes knitted together in worry. “what’s wrong?” you asked him. jay inhaled deeply and a flood of words poured from his mouth.

“listen, i know you may think jake is the one, but he isn’t the saint you think he is.” jay gave you a firm stare. you looked away, sighing to yourself. “jay…” you trailed.

jay cut you off. “i have to say this before it’s too late. i like you, y/n. i really like you. and i’d never put you through all the things he has—lead you on or fill your head with lies and half-truths. if you’d give me the chance, i could show you that we’re a better match.” you opened your mouth to speak but he cut you off again. “think about it…”

jay then left you standing dumbfounded and completely confused on the boardwalk.

later that night, there was a venue the coordinators booked where people could dance and mingle with each other over drinks. you and jake were on the dance floor, way past tipsy, but not quite as drunk yet. a slow song started to play and the two of you swayed side to side before jake spun you.

you smiled adoringly up at him and he mirrored your expression. you leaned closer to him and leaned your head against his chest as the two of you continued to sway. “you do know how much i like you,” you said to him, loud enough for it to be heard over the music but low enough that only his ears could hear and a bit slurred. you felt jake chuckle as his arms wrapped tightly around your waist.

“i do,” he replied. “you do know how much i like you, right?” you laughed and pulled away slightly to look up at him. you pressed your lips against his softly.

there was something else hanging in the air between you that you couldn’t quite put your finger on. maybe your head was too misty from the alcohol, but it felt like it was on the tip of both of your tongues. you didn’t linger on it, mind distracted by the sudden need to use the restroom.

pulling away from jake, you told him this and made your way to the restrooms. jake watched you leave, a small smile on his face. his face dropped when he saw a sneering hana follow after you. in a quick second decision he decided to go after the both of you.

when jake caught up to the two of you, it felt like he was walking directly into a car crash. “the year you were gone he was with me!” he heard hana say as she shoved her phone in your face, swiping through various pictures. confusion spread through him. what was she talking about now?

your brows were knitted together as you took the phone from her, looking through all the pictures of her and jake. even with your clouded mind, you didn’t believe hana at first, but ask you kept scrolling you weren’t quite sure anymore. jake’s hair was almost the same length as it was now and when you checked the dates it said it was from a year ago.

“mhm!” hana said, and it felt like she dug her claws into your heart and ripped it out. “as soon as you got on that plane he came to me!” your heart dropped and you turned to jake, hurt written all over your face. you felt absolutely crushed.

“is this true?” you asked him, voice trembling.

after everything he said to you—he went back to her? when he said that nothing happened between them and nothing will ever again… was that all just a lie? did he take you as a fool again? you couldn’t believe this.

“i love you, you know id never go back to her when this whole time i’ve been waiting for you.” jake stepped towards you, still confused about what was happened. all he knew was that he didn’t want to see that hurt look on your face—he couldn’t take it. you quickly took a step back from him and he practically shriveled up and died.

in the background the coordinators were announcing how much money was raised tonight, but you could barely hear them with your heart beating in your ears. “but you went back to her,” you spoke, voice raising.

jake gave you an incredulous look. “you’re telling me you believe what’s coming out of her mouth right now? seriously? whatever she showed you—they’re fake. she probably edited them.”

tears welled up in your eyes, your emotions everywhere from that stupid alcohol you decided to drink. “i don’t know what to believe anymore! it’s always fucking something with you and i’m tired of it!” you exclaimed. you wanted to wrap your arms around yourself and disappear.

jake pleaded with you, “listen to me. listen to what i’m telling you! it’s not true.” he took another step towards you and this time you let him.

seemingly out of thin air, jay appeared next to the three of you, turning his attention to jake. “why don’t you tell her about what happened between the three of us, jake.” he motioned with a finger between him, jake, and hana. your brows drew deeper together as you looked between him. what is jay talking about?

“yeah, jake!” hana chimed it, a sickly sweet smile curling up the corners of her lips. “tell her.”

you looked back at jake and the bewildered look on his face as jay and hana pounced on him. jay then looked at you, “well, if you won’t tell y/n then i will.”

jay stepped closer to you and jake and wrapped an arm around jake’s shoulders. “you wanna know the real reason why jake and i aren’t bestfriends anymore?” jake pushed jay off of him but jay just shook his head, lips twitched up slightly into what looked like a sneer.

“believe it or not, we use to be close—me, jake, sunghoon, the whole damn highschool swim team. until jakey here—” jay poked a finger into jake’s chest “—decided to let it all crash and burn.” jay then turned to you. “now, i’m not the most innocent either. jake and sunghoon’s game they like to play—the whole player lifestyle—i use to be part of it all. we were all shitty, together.”

jay continued. “we would see who could get attached to us the fastest, and once they’d become too clingy… dropped. you see, we weren’t looking for anything serious, just some fun! we had just graduated and weren’t looking to settle down anytime soon. that is… until i was.” he then turned to hana, motioning a weak hand at her. “now i should've known better to fall for someone who was clearly still so obsessed with jake, but i thought it was young love. pathetic.”

hana rolled her eyes at jay before tilting her head at you, “you aren’t as special as you think. before he took your virginity, he took mine. i was you, don’t you see?”

jay snorted, “before he dropped you and barely remembered your name or who you were at all.” hana scoffed at him but jay ignored her. “hana and i started going steady and jake and sunghoon didn’t like that. it was always ‘oh, the two of you aren’t serious! you’ll just drop her like the rest!’ but months past and me not playing the game anymore only angered them more.”

jake finally seemed to snap out of his fog. “you’re such a fucking liar. we weren’t—”

“so they decided to get back at me, a harmless prank,” jay cut him off. “and clearly hana was using me to get back to jake, unbeknownst to me. they all thought it would be so funny if i found jake and hana together, to show me that she ‘wasn’t really worth it.’ and i did find them—only i didn’t find it funny, but to them the plan went off without a hitch so it was a success.”

jay turned from all of you. you could feel the anger radiating off of him as he retold the story and lived through all of the memories. shock grew on your face and you looked at jake with wide eyes.

“cue the big, disastrous fight that split the former swim team in half. lifelong friendships were broken, people were betrayed, and people chose sides. you get the gist.” jay turned back to you all, waving a hand in the air, face steeled.

he looked at you again. “you wanna know the kicker? despite not giving a single fuck about hana—not one—he then dated her after for four months. just to really stick it to me.”

your mind flashed to jake’s letter. about three years ago he said him and hana dated for four months but they “didn’t click,” so he broke up with her. he said that ever since she’s been making his life hell with her obsession with him and her trying to get back together. you felt like you were going to throw up. you hated hana, that much was obvious, but you couldn’t really dismiss the fact that jake took her virginity and then dropped her. it wasn’t an excuse, but it’s no wonder she’s so obsessed with him.

like she said, she was you. he probably made her feel like the only girl in the world for that one night.

“you’re just jealous of what jake and i had,” hana said, crossing her arms over her chest. jay’s gaze darted to her’s and wryly laughed. “sure, hana. you keep telling yourself whatever you need to help you sleep at night. jake never liked you the way you think he did. the only reason he dated you so long was because sunghoon dared him to see how long he could go before going crazy.”

hana blinked a couple times. clearly that information was new to her, too.

“i’m never one to forgive and forget, so now you can see why our friendship has long been dead and buried,” jay concluded. “i told you he’s not the saint you think he is.” jay sounded sorry for you and jake just stared at you with wide, fearful eyes. it was all too much for you to process.

“i need some space. i can’t… it’s over.” cheering exploded around you from everyone else at the party and you stumbled away, pushing through the door until you were hit in the face with fresh air. tears fell from your eyes and distantly you heard voices behind you calling your name.

you felt like no matter how hard you tried, oxygen wouldn’t reach your lungs. you pressed your hand to your stomach, trying to will yourself to breathe. you heard people arguing next to you and you closed your eyes to try and steady yourself as you inhaled sharply, air finally reaching your lungs. you turned to the voices as your ears suddenly heard them clearly.

“you just want everything i have, don’t you? can’t help yourself, huh?” jake shouted at jay.

jay got in his face and shouted back. “like you can’t help but throw the people you ‘care’ about to the side?” jay turned his focus to you. “tell me, y/n, who did he put over you this time? what lie has he told you to keep you crawling back to him?”

jake pushed jay hard. “don’t fucking talk to my girlfriend like that!”

“newsflash, you fucking idiot, she isn’t your fucking girlfriend anymore! you can’t help but ruin everything you touch!” jay yelled at jake. you felt your throat tightening again and you took a step back from them.

tears poured down your cheeks and a loud sob left your parted lips. they froze as their gaze snapped to your broken form. you turn and took off in a random direction that you hoped was towards your house.

you ran until you physically felt like you were gonna burst and gulped in a large breath of air. you heard jake calling after you as you swayed on your feet, vision blurring even more. jake put a hand on your shoulder, “baby…”

you spun in place, shrugging his hand off of you. “explain. explain right fucking now, or i swear we’re done for good. what else have you been keeping from me?” you asked through tears.

in the moonlight you could see the sparkle of tears welling up in jake’s eyes. “i swear there’s nothing else! i-i just didn’t want you to look at me like a monster when i’ve done everything in my power to not be that person anymore,” jake promised. you scoffed and looked away from him.

“i’m not gonna let you slip through my fingers again,” jake said. he sounded desperate but his words fell on deaf ears. “i already am,” you coldly replied.

jake grabbed your hand in his, intertwining them. suddenly you felt his hands all over you—his lips all over you and leaving the marks that were still on your skin, covered. “y/n… please just think this through. i haven’t seen hana at all until that day on the beach with you. i was a horrible person back then, but can’t you see that i’ve changed?”

you pulled your hand away. “i need time to know if i can trust you. we need to spend some time apart,” you replied, completely detached. the tears stopped falling from your eyes but your cheeks were still wet. all you felt was numb. you gave jake one last look before turning and walking away.

you haven’t been processing the past week and a half well—if at all. instead, you’ve been drinking a lot more than you care to admit. there practically hasn’t been a day where you weren’t at least a little bit tipsy. like today, you were just past tipsy and at the point where your mind was fogged over.

all you could think about was how hana said that she was you at one point and how that completely messed with your brain. what if jake was just seeing how long he could spend with you before going crazy like he did with hana? make you feel like the only girl in the world until the two of you “don’t click” anymore? it all terrified you, so you decide to not think about it at all.

you and jungwon were in your living room, lazily lounging on the couch as episodes of H2O: just add water played. you sighed deeply to yourself and jungwon looked over at you in question.

“everything reminds me of him,” you sighed again, watching as the girls raced to cover from the water.

jungwon side-eyed you. “be serious,” he said, eyes focusing on the tv screen again.

you stood from the couch, stumbling a bit. jungwon sat up. “where are you going?” he asked. you grabbed your jacket, there’s been quite the chill in the air lately, and slipped on your shoes at the door. “somewhere where i don’t think of him,” you responded.

opening the door, you stepped out before jungwon could say anything else.

truthfully, you didn’t know where you were going. you decided to wander and let your feet guide you hopefully to somewhere that jake wasn’t. that’s how you ended up a couple feet from jay’s backyard gate.

his words crept into your mind. maybe the two of you were the better match—and you were so, so lonely. at the very least, you just needed someone to comfort you. you knew drinking everyday wasn’t healthy, and jay was your friend. he would help you, right?

suddenly you heard his voice. “y/n?” jay asked and his face appeared in front of you. he looked worried and it took a second to realize that you were crying.

jay ushered you inside and to his room. he sat you on his bed, making sure that you were comfortable as he laid your jacket onto his desk chair. “what happened?” jay asked and all the emotions you tried so hard to keep at bay rushed forward.

it didn’t help that you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror on jay’s door. jake’s love bites were just about healed—but you could still see them. it made you cry harder.

jay took you into his arms and you melted into them, crying into his chest. he rubbed comforting circles into your back and held you close until you were able to calm down a little. you looked up at him for a moment, still teary eyed, and softly pressed your lips to his.

you could tell that he was shocked—you were a little too, but he kissed you back nonetheless. the soft kiss between the two of you soon grew heated and you lifted yourself up onto the bed to sit in jay’s lap as his hand came to rest against your cheek. it wasn’t enough, you needed more.

deepening the kiss you grinded against jay’s thigh and he pulled away from your lips slightly, brows drawn together as his eyes remained closed. “y/n…” jay breathed, his voice low. “you're emotions are high right now and i don’t want you to do something that you’ll end up regretting. take a nap, we can talk more when you wake up and you’re sober.”

he pulled away more but you just shook your head. you needed this. “please…” you whispered, looking at him desperately before chasing his lips. whatever internal battle jay had with himself, he clearly lost as he kissed you back with more passion than before.

you grinded against his thigh more, low whines escaping your mouth as you tried to pull him closer. then, you blinked and you were under him. the two of you caught your breath, staring deeply into each other’s eyes. “do you want me to be nice…” jay trailed, breath fanning across the side of your neck, “…or do you want me to be mean?”

change is what you needed, and jake was always so nice when the two of you were intimate. “mean,” you replied, voice barely above a whisper. jay smiled before dipping his head to kiss you again, this time rougher.

clothes were discarded and in a flash you were laying naked on jay’s bed. your legs wrapped around his waist to pull him closer as you grabbed his shoulders for dear life as he pushed into you. your face contorted into one of pleasure and you buried your face into the crook of his neck to muffle your moan.

jay pushed you back onto the bed so he could get a full view of you and shook his head. “so pathetic and desperate… i want to hear you moan for me.”

he thrusted roughly into you and you moaned loudly. “that’s it,” jay smiled, fucking into you at a fast pace.

your eyes rolled back and all you could do was let the moans and whines and whimpers spill from your open mouth. jay’s pace was so fast that you felt like you were being split in two, his thick length stretching you so good that you saw stars.

he bent down to the shell of your ear, grunting from the effort he was putting in as he held down your hips, “i bet he never made you feel this good.” your back arched off the bed as you started to tremble.

“never was able to have to have you act like a whore in heat for cock, has he?” jay asked. you couldn’t answer him, head too in the clouds to even form a coherent sentence. you felt too good and pleasure spread throughout every inch of your body. it made you forget what you even came here for.

you were flipped so that you were on your hands and knees. your face fell down into the pillow. suddenly, there was pain at your scalp. jay kissed the side of your neck, his hand buried in your hair. “show me how much of a good girl you are. how desperate you are.”

gulping, with shaky legs you fucked yourself on his cock. everytime your head would try to fall, jay would tighten his grip in your hair to keep you upright. the more you fucked yourself onto him, the more your legs shook at the feeling in the pit of your stomach grew. you were sent over the edge when jay pushed your head into the pillows and fucked you himself.

“too m-much!” you cried, tears springing to your eyes. “can’t…”

“awe, you poor slut…” jay cooed mockingly. his condescending words only aided the rope in your stomach further to snapping. “sweet, pretty little whore. be glad your head is in the pillows and i’m not making you ride me like i should be.”

you cried out again, rope completely snapping as you came around jay’s cock. he didn’t stop—of course he didn’t. he was gonna keep going until he got his fill too.

you writhed underneath him as his pace only grew quicker. he pulled you by your hair towards him and back onto his cock as leverage to rut into you quicker. your mixed grunts and moans filled his room and the overstimulation sent you spiraling.

jay twitched inside you and he let go of your hair and grabbed your hips tightly, holding them against his as he came inside you and filled you up more. a loud moan fell from his lips as you fell back into the pillows, your body feeling like complete jelly.

“fuck,” jay groaned. “that’s my little slut.”

pulling out of you, you felt as your mixed cum poured out of you and down the back of your legs in a thick load. jay cursed behind you again before taking two fingers and fucking your sensitive hole with them, groaning at the wet sound it made. you whimpered, trying to angle your hips away from him.

“so pretty… so pathetic.” jay chuckled to himself.

your mind was still hazy from the alcohol as jay pulled you up onto shaking legs to get you all cleaned up in his bathroom. you could barely see with the change of scene and bright lights making everything seem blurry. you didn’t even realize that you were back in his room now and he was helping you put your shirt back on.

it wasn’t until you woke up, who knows how many hours later, next to him in just your shirt and panties confused. your head felt like it was going to explode from the alcohol as you took a look around the room, eyes widening from the unfamiliar surroundings. you were even more confused when a sleeping, half-naked jay was next to you. a horrific expression set on your face.

the sun was just about to set and guilt and regret hit you like a freight train. slowly, you slid out of the bed, making sure that jay didn’t wake up. you hurriedly put the rest of your clothes and jacket on and rushed out of jay’s room as quietly as you could.

all of the memories rushed back to you all at once as you rushed down the path to the boardwalk. what have you done? kissing jay was one thing, but sleeping with him? that was something entirely else. now it was all tangled in your emotions regarding your relationship with jake.

head hung low, you ran all the way back to you house, wishing that you never stepped out in the first place.

you had just gotten off work and were on your way home when a hand grabbed your wrist and spun you around.

“so you slept with him?” jake asked, crossed somewhere between hurt and anger. your eyes widened and that familiar guilt filled you once more. “i-i was drunk, it was a mistake!” you quickly replied.

jake wryly laughed. “a mistake…” he trailed, shaking his head and looking to the ground.

“yes, a mistake!” you exclaimed, pulling your wrist from his grasp. “and i regret ever doing it. you’re acting like you’re the only one who’s allowed to make mistakes!” jake looked at you incredulously. “how did you even find out?” you asked.

you surely didn’t tell anybody, you had no want nor need to flaunt it around. it never should’ve happened at all. that doesn’t mean jake got to look at you like you betrayed him when the two of you aren’t even together anymore.

jake pulled out his phone and shoved the screen in your face. “because he sent me a fucking picture of you sleeping half-naked in his bed with the word ‘checkmate’ attached.”

heart dropping, you took jake’s phone as you looked horrifically at his screen. you weren’t half-naked—you were covered by your rolled up shirt and panties—but it was still way too exposed. you honestly couldn’t believe that jay would take a picture of you after—and send it to jake, no less.

the sudden realization hit you harder than all of the guilt and regret you’ve been feeling. jay used you to get a leg up on jake. how much of him liking you was just him trying to get back at jake through you. a second realization hit—they’ve both been using you to get back at each other in this years-long rivalry. you felt sick.

tears welled up in your eyes and you pushed jake’s phone into his chest to get it away from you. you ran your hands down your face as you tried to breathe. you then glared up at him, “don’t act like you care... you only want me to get a leg up on jay. you don’t actually want me. both of you have been using me to get back at each other. all of this has been meaningless.”

“that’s not true, and you know that’s not true.” jake sighed deeply. “if you want jay—fine. i’ll take a step back and i won’t bother you anymore. but you can’t keep dragging me along and toying with both our feelings because you can’t decide. we can’t do this anymore—i can’t do this anymore, y/n. you know that i’m in love with you, and i know that you love me too deep inside. i’m trying to tell you how you calling this all meaningless really hurts me.”

“you’d know a lot about hurting people,” you murmured. “and ‘dragging you along’? ‘toying with both of your feelings’? i’ve done nothing of the sort.” a single tear fell from your eye and you harshly wiped it away.

“if you can’t accept that it was a mistake sleeping with jay and that i deeply regret it—whatever. but, the only people dragging people along and toying with feelings have been you and jay.” with that you turned on your heels and stormed off.

[ AUTUMN — THE COLD AIR MATCHES YOUR HEART ] 𓇼 and it’s freezing to the bone—yet, there’s a spark.

your mind was everywhere lately, a complete mess. at least you had stopped drinking since sleeping with jay. only, things changed for the worse.

you felt like an echo of who you were when you first arrived in this town. in a couple of weeks you had managed to convince yourself that maybe this was the best you were ever going to get. that maybe letting people use you in such ways was the only way you would ever feel loved. at least, that’s how it seemed—and so far nothing was proving your thoughts wrong.

the relationship between you and jay was complicated. you didn’t even know how to describe it anymore. he went around acting as if you were his girlfriend, even going so far to plant kisses on your cheeks. however, the two of you haven’t even kissed since the day you slept with him.

on your end, he was still just a close friend—though you have been growing more distant from him. you didn’t know if he noticed, and at this point you didn’t care. the only thing you wanted to do these days were get up, go to work, go home, and sleep the rest of the day away.

you were walking home one day after work, completely out of it and not at all listening to what jay was saying to you, when he stopped you. jay sighed to himself, like something had been weighing on his mind. “i can’t,” he said suddenly. all your energy allowed was the quirk of your eyebrow in a silent question.

“this has to stop. clearly you aren’t interested and i like you way too much to have only a half-assed relationship. it’s either one-hundred percent or nothing at all.”

something clicked in your brain and you gave him a pleading look as you shook your head. you didn’t want to lose the only affection you had left. “what are you talking about?” you asked.

“i mean come on, the two of you are made for each other, it's clear as day!” jay drawled. “has anyone told you what he was like when you left? even i was shocked to see him look like a shell of himself. and you act like i can’t see it—even when you’re with me you’re imagining you’re with him…”

tears poured from your eyes as you shook your head more. “no… no, that’s not true!”

deep down you knew it was true. you spent all your waking hours thinking about jake. thought about how royally you both fucked everything up. and to think that you didn’t want drama this summer… all your summer was filled with was drama—and it was creeping into your autumn too.

all you wanted was to be in jake’s arms again, but you didn’t know if that would ever happen. not after how much the two of you hurt each other. maybe it was for the best that you weren’t together if all it was going to cause was pain.

jay nodded at you solemnly. “go. be with him. stop delaying the inevitable when we both know the two of us won’t work out.”

“but-but i like you!” you exclaimed. another lie, but it was your last attempt at the love you so desperately clung to—even if it was false.

“not in the same way you love him, y/n.”

jay gave you a sad smile before he turned and walked away, leaving you standing alone as tears slid down your cheeks. you wrapped your arms around yourself as the cold autumn breeze draped over your body and made you shake. you sniffled and kept walking to your house, trying not to cry harder.

later that night you were even more of a mess than you were before. you sat in the dark of your room as you cried even more and even harder, the tears just seemingly never ended.

all you thought about was how you fucked everything up. how nothing will ever probably be the same again. and worst of all—all you wanted was someone who most likely didn’t want anything to do with you anymore.

to make matters worse, the subconscious part of your brain was working overtime and you didn’t even register the ringing of the phone pressed to your ear until it was too late. 

“y/n?” jake’s voice asked softly, slightly groggy. shit.

your eyes widened to saucers and you fumbled with the phone in your hands as you tried to quiet your sobs. you finally pressed the ‘end’ button and threw your phone across the room. seconds later you heard your phone buzzing with a missed call and texts from jake. 

“shit…” you trailed, realizing your mistake. all you did these days were make mistakes. “shit, shit, shit!” the tears fell from your eyes faster and you desperately wanted to scream—and you would’ve if it wasn’t so late in the night and your family was asleep.

a few minutes later, you heard the familiar opening of your window. jake stepped over the window ledge, clad in his pajamas and his long hair tousled like he got attacked by wind despite there not being even a breeze outside. shocked filled you as your eyes met his after so long.

you quickly wiped away your tears and turned your back to him. “i-i don’t want to talk to you!” you lied, sniffling hard to stop the sob trying to fight its way out of your body. you hated to admit it, but jake’s mere presence already made you feel immensely better.

the sound of your window closing behind you made you jump slightly. “then don’t talk,” jake said. behind you, the bed dipped. jake pressed his back against yours and you could feel the slow rise and fall of his breathing. “but i’m not leaving you alone right now.”

slowly, jake intertwined his hand with yours. “you can be as angry as you want with me. be as silent as a mouse until you want to talk again… but i’m not leaving your side.” the pad of his thumb rubbed the back of your hand and you broke down completely.

sobs wrecked through your body and you could no longer hide them from him. hot tears ran down your cheeks—more tears than you felt like you’ve ever cried in your entire life. you completely unraveled. you could tell that jake wanted to turn around and comfort you—you felt the turn of his head as he tried to look at you and the twitch of his fingers—but he wanted it to be on your terms. that just made you cry even more.

you’ve cried so much today that you were sick of crying forever.

it was shocking that even for a second you thought differently. jake was the one for you. it was always going to be jake, no matter the up and downs the two of you went through. it was never going to be anybody but him. you burned for him like you didn’t for no other.

finally, you managed to get yourself together enough to speak. half coherent apologies fell from your lips. “i-i’m sorry,” you finally managed. “i’m so sorry. i… i ruined everything and—” jake shushed you and you felt him shake his head.

you continued anyway, “i was acting like… like…” you just couldn’t find the right words.

jake shushed you again, this time turning to face you. you turned too, blistering tears still falling from your eyes. jake shook his head and cupped your wet cheeks with his hands, using the pad of his thumbs to wipe them away. you stared at him again for the first time in so long, still not quite believing that he was in front of you again.

you both seemed to be worse for wear. there were dark circles under jake’s eyes and they were red-rimmed like he had cried recently. still, he looked at you with that certain look in his eyes that he always had, and you were finally able to put a name to it—love.

“you didn’t do anything wrong,” jake said softly, but firmly. “nothing at all. if anyone is sorry, it’s me. you don’t know how sorry i am for making you think that i was dragging you along and toying with your feelings. i would never do that to you.”

your brows knitted together. you didn’t understand how he was so forgiving of you. you shook your head, “you deserve better than me.”

jake just chuckled. “i don’t want anybody but you.”

jake rested his forehead against yours before pulling you closer to him. you rested your head against his chest, hearing the soft thumps of his heartbeat, as you wrapped your arms around him. jake held you tightly—like if he let you go you would completely disappear.

slowly, you felt yourself begin to drift, the taxing emotions of the day finally catching up with you. you gripped the back of jake’s pajama shirt, scared that once you fell asleep you would wake up and he would be gone and this was just all one big dream. but the more you tried to say awake, the further your eyelids drooped.

“come here,” jake whispered, moving into a lying position. you cuddled up into his side, your head on his chest. jake rested his chin on your head. “sleep,” he said. “i’m not going anywhere.”

it didn’t take you long to drift into darkness, the sound of jake’s heartbeat aiding you. still, you grabbed onto him like your life depended on it the entire way—even after jake had covered the two of you with your blanket.

in the morning, jake awoke to you still tucked into his side and to the creek of your bedroom door opening. jungwon poked his head inside, a worried look on his face, before nearly jumping ten feet in the air after seeing jake.

jake held a finger to his lips, silently telling jungwon to keep quiet since you were still sleeping. with wide eyes, jungwon nodded. slowly, he shut the door and left the two of you alone.

looking down at you, jake made sure that you were still sleeping and was relieved to find that you still were. the sun peeked through your closed blinds, lighting up your room ever so slightly. jake held you closer to him and softly cradled your face with his hand, careful to not wake you. you stirred, but only to move closer to him, making jake smile.

later, you stirred again. this time jake knew you were waking up since your grip on his shirt suddenly tightened again as you stiffened. jake rubbed circled onto your back before pressing a kiss to the top of your head, the actions visibly relaxing you.

your eyes cracked open, adjusted to the change in brightness, and looked up at him before you buried your face back into jake’s chest. jake’s smile grew and you felt the vibrations of his laugh. “good morning, pretty,” jake said.

the cold autumn weather was only getting colder, but that didn’t stop you and jake from going to your spot.

you were giggling as jake wrapped his scarf around you, purposefully covering more of your face than he needed. he then pulled the scarf down to chastely kiss your lips, returning the scarf back to its former position of covering your face. you giggled more, “you gonna get sick!”

“all that matters to me is that my girlfriend doesn’t get sick,” jake replied. 

you pulled him closer to you by his jacket and pressed your lips against his. the two of you moved your lips in sync before you pulled away, serious. there was something that you’ve been meaning to tell him since you’ve got here, and you felt that now was finally the time.

almost nervously, you said, “i love you, jake.”

jake stared at you for a second with wide eyes, like he thought he didn’t quite hear you clearly. when you smiled nervously at him is when it finally clicked for him. jake’s whole face lit up and he kissed you so passionately that the two of you almost fell over. “i love you,” he said before kissing you again.

you pulled away for air, giggling at his reaction. he started kissing you all over your face and you pushed him away, laughing more. “jake!” you exclaimed. he pressed a couple more kisses to your cheeks before kissing your lips again. “what?” he asked innocently, “i was just warming you up.”

you rolled your eyes and stood to your feet. you pulled him to his feet as well and the two of you dusted off sand from your clothes. “well, we should probably move away from the sea,” you smiled at him. your face then lit up.

there was still one more thing on your shared bucket list that you and jake still didn’t do. you completely forgot about the bucket list in general with everything that happened. “the abandoned skate park!” you exclaimed. “we still haven’t added our names to it!”

jake intertwined your gloved hand with his. he looked at you with eyes full of love. “let’s go then!” he smiled at you, kissing your cold cheeks. you scrunched your nose at him before dragging him out of your spot and towards the skate park.

on the way there, the two of you bought a disposable camera and a can of spray paint in your favorite color—at jake’s adamance. the two of you seeked out a good place to add your names for a while before finally finding the perfect spot.

“okay, go!” jake said, aiming his phone towards you. you turned and sprayed “y/n + jake = forever” into the spot the two of you had picked out before running back to where jake stood. the two of you switched—you taking the phone to record and him the spray can. jake then ran over and sprayed a wonky heart around your names, causing you to laugh.

jake looked back at you and laughed. “i told you you should’ve done the heart!”

you came up to him and he wrapped his arms around you as you got the two of you and your names in the camera view—kissing him briefly with an adoring smile—before ending the recording all together. jake then pulled the disposable camera out of his jacket pocket and snapped a picture of it and then of the two of you next to it. “to more memories!” he said.

after, jake turned to you. “do you remember what happened here?” he asked you. you nodded, “of course i do! this is where we had our first kiss!” jake smiled at you, kissing you like he did so long ago again, completely setting you alight and making your heart race even after all of this time.

“say it again,” jake said, his forehead against yours. you smiled. “i love you,” you replied.

you could practically feel the smile on jake’s face grow larger. “again,” he said. you giggled at him and the way he pulled you closer to his chest. “i love you, jake.”

“i love you, too.” jake kissed you again. 

you felt as if your world was back on track now, no longer was the axis all out of place. you were here in jake’s arms where you belonged, his lips against yours as the two of you giggled at each other. you would never love anyone like you love jake. “i love you more,” you finally replied to him.

jake shook his head at you. “impossible,” he laughed. “nobody can love anyone as much as i love you.”

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clementine ☆ heeseung lee

☆ non-idol! heeseung x fem! reader ☆ summary: heeseung was home for the summer. but so were you, the one girl that he's always hated since your playground days. the worst part was that you suddenly got hot, and now he had no idea what to do with himself. unfortunately, an entire year of not seeing each other creates the perfect conditions for one of you (or both of you) to catch feelings! ☆ genre: fluff, college! au, loser!heeseung, boyfailure x girlboss, nerdy heeseung LOL, childhood enemies to lovers, neighbors au!, humor, #patheticmen, suggestive-ish but not rlly ☆ warning(s)? loser!heeseung is SO awkward you might get embarrassed MEOW ☆ word count: 16.1k words ☆ based off the song "clementine" by grentperez. i hope this feels summery and cutesy hehe

Heeseung swore that he was going crazy.

Because why on earth was he actually attracted to you?

You, who used to kick over his sandcastles in the sandbox. You, who always hogged the slides at the playground. You, who always made a point to get him first in a game of tag. You, who always rolled your eyes at him no matter what he said. You, who made it clear to him and everyone on the face of the earth that you couldn’t stand him.

Heeseung couldn’t believe that he was even thinking about it— Why were you hot?

It's been about two weeks since Heeseung returned home for summer break. He'd finished his first full term at UC San Diego, majoring in communications. He had been living in the dorms the entire year, so it's been quite a while since Heeseung had been home.

Unfortunately for him, it seemed like nothing had changed.

They always said that adulthood and college really changes a person. But Heeseung felt the same as always.

All throughout middle school and highschool, Heeseung's summer days were often spent indoors. Reading books, drawing in his sketchbooks, playing video games, talking to his friends, and sometimes even laying in complete silence and just staring at the ceiling. 

And all these years later, Heeseung was still doing the same this summer. 

It's only the beginning of summer, but Heeseung has done next to nothing. He's seen his old friends maybe once or twice, and really only went outside from time to time to take out trash or help his mom water the plants in the backyard.

Truthfully, nothing about Heeseung has changed. He was still the quiet, introverted guy that liked time alone.

Nothing has changed.... all except one thing.

And it was driving Heeseung nuts.

You.

You were the neighbor girl, and consequently, someone that's shown up in every stage of his life. Your parents quickly became friends, so your families were closely intertwined and spent a considerable amount of time together.

The two of you went to the same high school, middle school, elementary school— heck you even played at the same playground. 

And for some reason, you just loved to torment him. It was never anything serious, but any opportunity you got, you would bother him and just be the most annoying person ever. 

Everyone in his life insisted that you were just the best little angel, but that couldn't be any further from the truth. You were mean and childish and insufferable.

And to make it worse, you always seemed to beat Heeseung at everything. Ever since your elementary school days, you somehow always got a better score than Heeseung, whether it be an assignment on coloring shapes or your AP US History scores. His parents and your parents always reassured him that he was good too, but how was he supposed to feel encouraged when you just beat him at everything?!

And you never failed to let him know it, too. You always had that sly little grin.

You even beat him in getting into his dream university. It's not really your fault technically, because it was your dream university, too. But it's the principle of it!

Heeseung couldn't help but narrow his eyes and clench his fists when he heard his mom talk about how well you're doing at UC Irvine in your prestigious little public health major.

Hate was too strong of a word, but he couldn't say that he liked you at all.

Which was why Heeseung felt his sanity slipping away.

The last thing that he expected when he came back for the summer was for you to get hot. And boy, you were hot.

It was actually infuriating how attractive you got.

Sure, Heeseung's seen you grow up beside him, but in his mind you were always the snotty six year-old that stole his candy. But after an entire year of not seeing you, he couldn't help but gawk at you.

Look, he wasn't actively seeking you out. 

Just, every time that Heeseung was out watering the plants or helping with yard work, you just so happened to peek your head over the garden wall to say hi to his dad. Your face always scrunched up when you caught a glimpse of Heeseung, murmuring a tight-lipped greeting to him too before your head dipped back under the wall.

The first time it happened, Heeseung's jaw nearly dropped. Because since when were you pretty?

The second time that Heeseung saw you was at the local ice cream parlor near the pier. In all the ice cream parlors in Orange County, you just had to go to the same one as him. 

You were wearing a bikini top with denim shorts, sunglasses atop your head. Clearly, you had just been at the beach. You had a group of friends around you (after all, between the two of you, you were the social and popular one), yet Heeseung could only look at you.

There was just something about the way the bikini top hugged your body. Maybe it was the droplets of water running down your chest. Or maybe it was the way you swayed to the faint background music of the parlor, your face looking relaxed and dreamy. Or maybe it was the way he felt so goddamn small next to you, despite having screamed and yelled and fought with you so many times in his childhood.

Since then, it felt like you just popped up everywhere. On days that Heeseung's brother or cousins forced him out of the house, you somehow managed to be where he was. And every single time, he'd just stand there and ogle at you. Even when his brother or cousins would say hi to you and strike up a conversation, Heeseung was always rendered speechless, too busy looking at the way your lips moved to truly register anything.

It almost made him angry. How dare you become hot over the past year? How dare you make him feel so stupid?

In every way possible, you were glowing. 

And it was killing Heeseung.

Heeseung let out a sigh as he sunk down onto his bed. 

It was already 8PM, yet the sky outside was still amidst the sunset. His fan was blasting, and so was his house's AC system— he even opened up his windows— yet it was still too hot.

Jamming his earbuds in his ear, Heeseung picked at the hem of his t-shirt, ignoring the way that the hair on the nape of his neck clung to his skin due to sweat.

Heeseung, even throughout college, called his friends a lot. But now that it was summer, all his friends were busy on vacation or having plans, and didn't have a lot of time to call.

Heeseung listened to the ringtone, tapping his fingers impatiently.

Finally, the ringtone stopped.

"Hey, man," a familiar, deep voice rang in Heeseung's ears. "What's up?"

"Jay!" Heeseung cried.

Jay Park was Heeseung's best friend all throughout his life. Although Jay was a year younger than him, that never was a problem in their friendship. Jay had just graduated high school, and he'd be attending UC San Diego with Heeseung next term. 

Out of everyone at home, Jay was the one person that Heeseung spoke to the most. 

He told him everything, and if he didn't, Jay always managed to get it out of him one way or another.

"What's on your mind?" Jay huffed. He always sounded exasperated, but he meant well. The moment that he graduated, Jay went back to his hometown in Seattle to meet with family. Luckily, Heeseung caught him before he left to congratulate him. Otherwise, Jay's been busy, so Heeseung appreciated him taking the time to talk to him.

Unfortunately, Jay knew Heeseung too well. Of course there was something on his mind— You. But Heeseung would rather die than admit it, even to his closest, most trusted friend. Not only was it embarrassing, but Jay's heard and witnessed it all. Heeseung would never live it down if Jay found out.

"Nothing!" Heeseung said in a sing-songy voice. "I just miss my best friend soooooo much."

Jay was fun to tease.

"Yeah, yeah." Heeseung could practically hear Jay roll his eyes, scowl, and scrunch his nose over the phone, something he did whenever he was embarrassed. "Well, I had a feeling that there was something on your mind. You never spam me with emojis unless you have something serious to talk about."

Heeseung scoffed playfully. Jay really did know him too well. 

"Nope!" Heeseung said, popping the p. 

"Right," Jay responded, and the older could tell that he was suspicious. 

A few moments of comfortable silence fell over the two of them. Sometimes, they didn't know what to say to each other, but being in each other's presence was enough.

"Oh!" Jay suddenly exclaimed, "I just remembered something that I wanted to tell you!"

Heeseung hummed in response. It was probably some crazy gossip about a teacher from their old high school getting arrested.

"But, you need to promise me that you won't tell anyone," the younger boy said, his voice eager and impatient. "Like, you can't tell anyone."

Heeseung hummed again. "Yeah."

"No, like, promise me," Heeseung could hear the fervor in his friend's voice, almost as if he's been holding this information back and was just itching to tell someone. 

"Is it that bad?" Heeseung chuckled. "You're scaring me, man."

"Promise me," Jay repeated.

"Fine," Heeseung huffed, crossing his arms. "I promise I will not tell anyone. Not a single soul."

"Okay, okay," Jay took a deep breath over the phone. Just by the sound of it, Heeseung could tell that he was about to burst if he didn't tell someone now. "So, a few weeks ago— I don't know how it slipped my mind, I was going to tell you the moment I found out— I was in Macro, and do you remember that one girl Natty, or something? The one with the bangs, like, the one that dances, and—"

"On with it!" Heeseung interrupted impatiently.

"Okay, well, Natty asked me if my friend Heedeung Lee was dating anyone, and I was like 'Who is Heedeung Lee?' so I just looked at her like she was crazy and so she never spoke to me about it again until—"

"Hurry up!" Heeseung groaned. Jay talked a lot. "Get to the point, please!"

"I'm getting there!" Jay yelled over the phone. "Well, basically Natty told me that her friend told her that [Name] [Last Name] used to have a massive crush on you."

.

.

.

"Huh?"

You, [Name] [Last Name], had a crush on him? 

On Heeseung Lee?

"I know!" Jay laughed over the phone. "That's crazy, isn't it?"

"Wait, wait, wait," Heeseung's lips moved faster than he could think. He could feel his ears burning, and they stung like hell. "Who told her?"

Jay paused to think. "Natty said that Ryujin Shin told her."

Ryujin Shin was your good friend. She wouldn't lie about something like this. Jay's source was definitely trustworthy.

Heeseung's heart was now pounding in his chest. His palms felt clammy. 

He simply couldn't process it. You? Liked him? It just didn't make sense. And after all the thoughts that he's been having about you, it didn't feel right. Something must be mistaken, right?

"When?" Heeseung blurted, swiping his tongue over his bottom lip. "When did she like me?"

"Hmmm," Jay hummed. 

Surely, you liked him in elementary school, right? There was absolutely no way that you liked him any time recently. That's impossible!

"I think she liked you..." Jay trailed off, thinking, "I think she liked you all throughout highschool."

Shit.

"I mean, I think everyone knew. It's not that surprising to me, I'm more surprised that you didn't know all this time. Like, it's so obvious— she was so obvious—"

Heeseung hung up.

"Heeseung?"

Wow, has grass always been that green?

"Heeseung, what are you—"

Heeseung never knew the world could be so beautiful. The sky was so blue and the clouds were so fluffy.

"Hey, Hee—"

What's that bright ball in the sky? Why was it yellow and so warm? Is that what people call the sun—

"Heeseung!"

Heeseung was pulled out of his daze as his older brother shook his shoulders.

It's only been a few days since Jay told the news on Heeseung, but it felt like weeks. Since then, Heeseung has gone outside more times than he ever had. He'd sit in the front yard and feel the grass under his fingertips, reconnecting with nature after such a bomb was dropped on him. Other days he'd dip his toes in his pool, just basking in the sunlight, and sometimes he'd go on walks, taking time to appreciate the world around him.

After all, if Heeseung stayed all cooped up in his room, he didn't know what he would do with himself.

Truthfully, nothing has ever impacted Heeseung as much as the fact that you liked him. Genuinely, Heeseung has never felt more confused, distraught, distressed, and downright afraid in his life.

Because... How could he?

Heeseung wouldn't be completely truthful if he said he didn't think you were attractive before this summer. How could he not? There was a reason that you were popular at school. You've always been cute. It was just your personality that made Heeseung hesitant to admit it.

But to think that you— the you that always went out of your way to get on his nerves in every capacity— had a crush on him? Absolutely insane.

And the craziest part was that your crush was obvious to everyone but him. Heeseung made a point to ask all of his old friends as discreetly as possible. Same answer every time:

"Yeah man, she was soooo in love with you."

You? Obvious? With your crush on him? Absolutely not!

This was not something that Heeseung would have expected in a million years!

And the nail in the coffin was when he asked Ryujin Shin herself.

"Oh yeah, she used to make me pick out her outfits to impress you," was all Ryujin had to say in order to kill Heeseung.

It just didn't make sense! Heeseung genuinely couldn't believe it. Of all the people in the world, you had a crush on him? It's not like no one's ever had a crush on him, but it's literally you!

Every time Heeseung thought about it he felt light-headed.

Currently, Heeseung was standing under a tree, cooling off from the rising weather. He had agreed to go on a walk at the park with his older brother. After all, after everything, he needed to touch grass. 

"You've been spacy lately, Hee," his brother nudged him. Heeseung was grateful that his brother was also back from university for the summer. "Everything okay?"

"Y-Yeah..." Heeseung murmured in response. 

Wow, the dirt felt nice under his shoes. He could feel mosquitoes biting at his ankles, but the hot weather was making him too exhausted to care. He should go outside more often. Maybe he'd be less distracted. And he wouldn't think about you.

Heeseung's brother smacked the back of the younger boy's head. "You sure?"

Heeseung chewed on his bottom lip. His mind was completely fried, blank. He couldn't think.

"Hellooooo? Earth to Heeseung?"

Radio silence.

Yeah, he was cooked.

It took Heeseung an entire week to even be able to think of your name without wanting to pass out.

He didn't completely come to terms with it, but he was at a point that he'd gone over the thought too many times for it to sting anymore. Still, Heeseung couldn't stop thinking about you.

All this time you liked him and he didn't notice. Probably because you tormented him the entire time. Not quite flirting, in his opinion.

What made matters worse, though, was the fact that Heeseung would see you from time to time. It was hard.

On one hand, you were an absolute treat to look at. 

Like, wow.

Anytime he caught a glimpse of you, whether over the fence or through the kitchen window, Heeseung could physically feel his eyes get blessed.

You really were one of the most beautiful people Heeseung had ever had the privilege to lay his eyes on. He choked on his spit every time he saw you, it was insane.

On the other hand...

Ohmygodyouhadacrushonhim.

Seeing you was terrifying.

You were the one person that's always been his sworn rivalry... and this entire time you probably never saw him like that.

It was absolutely horrifying to think about!

Heeseung's cheeks felt warm at the thought. In fact, his entire body felt hot. He wasn't even sweating but his skin begged for a bucket of iced water to be poured on him. Maybe he should hose himself down later.

Maybe it was just the summer heat.

"You want me to what?!"

No, no, no!

"You heard me, young man," Heeseung's mom crossed her arms. Heeseung watched with eyes wide as saucers from his seat at the kitchen island as his mom organized the pantry. How could she be so casual?!

The world was ending. It's over.

"Nooooo," Heeseung cried, burying his face in his arms. "Mom, I can't!"

"Why not?" Mrs. Lee cocked her brows. "It's not like [Name] has a disease or anything."

Heeseung shook his head profusely. "I know, but—"

"Then what's so difficult about going over and saying hi to her? It's been an entire year since you guys have seen each other!"

Heeseung groaned.

And that's how he was forced to walk over to your house next door and say hi. He didn't know why his mom was so insistent, but it's probably because she was good friends with your mom, or something. Him and your families have always been close, so Heeseung was bound to interact with you this summer.

Heeseung dragged his feet as he walked over to your house. He really didn't want to see you.

At first, he thought you hated him, but now apparently you've liked him all this time? And he's also sexually frustrated so now Heeseung was just confused.

And lo and behold, the moment that your house came into view, there you were. 

You were in a swimsuit, sunbathing on your front lawn. You wore your chunky sunglasses that fit you too well, your pretty lips sipping on a fancy glass of coconut water.

Heeseung had to force himself to not gawk.

Goddamn, was all he could think, because goddamn were you fine.

The way the sun shone down on your skin made it hard for him to look away. You were completely relaxed, alone in your own world, yet you managed to still be glowing. Heeseung's mouth felt dry, his heart rate speeding up at the sight of you sprawled out on the lawn like that.

Heeseung's feet took him further than his mind could, too busy gaping at you. He stopped at the front of your house, just enough for you to notice him.

"Oi!" you yelled from your lawn, perching yourself up on your elbows in a way that made you even more attractive. "The fuck do you want, Lee?!"

Heeseung had to shake out of his daze. 

"H-Hey," he stuttered out, an awkward hand coming up to wave at you. Heeseung winced in his head, feeling embarrassment wash over him as you took off you looked over your sunglasses, shooting him a questioning look. 

He'd never been like this with you. Ever. The only memories that Heeseung had with you were just the two of you bickering. Never any shyness or awkwardness. So why was he so nervous now?

"Ummmm," you said. Heeseung recognized that tone: it was the tone that you used when you wanted to obnoxiously pretend to be confused to embarrass him. Usually, it would just annoy him, but this time Heeseung was actually embarrassed. "Hi?"

Heeseung could feel your judgy gaze under your sunglasses. You were definitely staring him down. Whether with love or with hate, he didn't know. But it scared the fuck out of him.

"Well, I'mgonnagonowbye!" Heeseung spouted before running off.

(Heeseung could tell that you were watching him as he struggled to get his front door open. In fact, he had to knock multiple times and yell for someone to let him in, because he was actually locked out. And the moment that he was let in, Heeseung ran up to his room, and slammed the door. Never again.)

Although you thought it would be 10x funnier if you didn't, you did in fact think Heeseung Lee was cute. Of course you did. Especially after a year of not seeing him, you couldn’t deny that he’d really grown into a man. He definitely got taller, and his voice sounded deeper too. The way the muscles on his biceps and forearms flexed when he did yard work gave you more of a reason to peek over the garden wall to say hi.

You thought your dumb little childhood crush on Heeseung had subsided by now. You felt a little bad for a while, for always being mean to him— but you just like him so much! 

When you went away for school, you were sure you’d forget all about it. After all, you had a feeling that your feelings for him were out of convenience: he was just a guy that you were close in proximity to. Plus, it was so obvious, too. He definitely knew all throughout high school and middle school how much you liked him. It would hurt your pride to go back to him.

But now that he’s back (and so are you!) you’re having second thoughts.

Sure, he was cute. 

Would you kiss him? Sure. 

Would you date him? The answer to that would be kept a secret. 

For now, you were just going to have fun with it. Whatever happened was not up to you anyway. 

Though, you’d be lying if you said that you never tried to impress him, especially now.

You told yourself it was in a condescending way. 

In a "look how hot I am" way. 

In an untouchable way.

Because you knew that he’d be looking anyway. He always did, even if he didn’t mean to.

And you knew for sure now, as you put on your fitted bikini top that he’d definitely be looking.

Lucky you, your siblings and cousins were close to Heeseung’s brother and cousins. When you were younger, everyone would gather in Heeseung’s backyard for a pool party. 

And now that it was summer, it was no surprise that there was a pool party at the Lee house today.

So here you were, in Heeseung’s backyard, dipping your toes in his pool. 

The Southern California weather was not doing anyone justice. The blue sky was clear, with no cloud in sight. The sun was high in the sky, beating down on anyone who dared to be in its presence. 

The air smelled of Mrs. Lee's lemon tree, sunscreen, chlorine water, and barbecue. Loud music boomed throughout the Lees' backyard, coupled with shouting, laughing, and the sizzle of the grill.

Everyone was here— Heeseung’s brother, his cousins, and all of your siblings and cousins— except the boy himself. 

He’s probably inside cooped up in his room, you thought with an eye roll. He always was. Whenever there was a pool party like this, he always came down the latest, after getting an earful from his mom about being a party pooper. 

You’d always hoped that he’d come down. After all, he was the only one your age, and you wanted to show off how cute you looked. 

That’s something that never changed. 

You pushed up your sunglasses, watching as the boys that you grew up with tackled each other in the water and screamed bloody murder. You couldn’t help but chuckle.

At pool parties like this, you usually found yourself sitting near the shallow side of the pool, dipping your feet in and just enjoying everyone's presence. 

Frankly, you weren't a fan of the water.

You were too busy splashing your cousins with water and laughing at how stupid they looked with their hair all wet and swooped around to notice the sound of a very familiar boy being dragged downstairs.

"Dude— Let go— Ack!" Heeseung's voice boomed all the way from behind the screen door. "Let go— Ow!"

You turned over your shoulder to see Heeseung himself standing at the entrance to the backyard, pouting like a child with his arms crossed over his chest. He was wearing swim trunks, but wore an oversized t-shirt over it.

Still, he looked as good as ever.

His tan skin, disheveled hair, and overall awkward and loserish look— you loved it too much.

You watched curiously as he stood there awkwardly while everyone else played in the water. 

You sighed. Some things never change.

You pulled your feet out of the pool, before walking with wet feet over to the cooler next to the grill to grab two Caprisuns. Then, you trudged over to where Heeseung was standing.

"Look who decided to finally go outside," you said with a deadpan tone. Usually, Heeseung would glare at you, maybe scoff and look away. But this time, his eyes just shakily shifted to your face. Weird.

You could see his eyes widen a fraction, before they traveled down to your bikini top. You had to hold back a smug grin— Good, he was looking.

You shoved one of the Caprisuns into his hand, while stabbing your own with the straw. 

He still stared at you, as if you were some kind of unicorn.

"Why do you keep staring?" you asked bluntly, quirking your brow at him. It was weird. Where was the annoyed Heeseung that fought back whenever you bothered him?

The boy tensed up, his eyes widening into saucers before he turned away from you altogether. 

Was he... sick?

You looked at him questioningly. Heeseung stood completely still, his back turned to you, gripping onto his Caprisun for dear life.

You sighed. You nudged him with your elbow. 

"I thought a school like UCSD would make you at least a little bit cooler," you began your way back to the pool, but stopped. You looked over your shoulder at him. "Still a loser."

And with that, you left him standing there.

Heeseung swore that he's not a loser.

Well, maybe he was just a little bit of a loser, but not that much. You called him a loser all the time, and it never really got to him. After all, you were cooler than anyone Heeseung knew, so your standard of coolness was off the charts.

Though, it did bother him a little bit this time. And for the life of him, Heeseung couldn't figure out why.

Eventually, he trudged over to the pool and dipped his feet in beside you. Though, he made sure to keep a big distance between the two of you. 

Heeseung didn't know what he would do if he was any closer to you. And plus, you'd probably start screaming anyway.

In fourth grade, he pushed you into the pool as a joke, without knowing that you didn't know how to swim. Since then, you made it a point to scream whenever Heeseung was near you at the pool, always claiming that he'd pose a danger to you, or something like that.

The music was nice, and so was the feeling of the sun on his skin. Heeseung just felt a little bit out of place, but he wasn't unhappy to be there.

Heeseung was lost in thought, a habit that he's had since he was younger— so lost that he didn't hear the splashing of the pool, so lost didn't hear his brother ask you why you weren't swimming, so lost that he didn't hear his cousins threaten to push you in if you didn't get in yourself.

But the moment that Heeseung heard your shrill scream, he was up on his feet.

In a few quick seconds, Heeseung's brother had hauled you up over his shoulder, ignoring the way that you wriggled in his touch, and threw you into the pool. 

It all happened so quickly before Heeseung's eyes, yet it felt like time slowed down.

As the water splashed in what felt like slow-motion, Heeseung watched as your eyes widened into large saucers, a loud shriek ripping from your throat. His breath hitched. Other than those sounds, he couldn't hear anything else: not everyone laughing, not the music, not the grilling, just you and him and the water.

Heeseung's lips moved faster than him.

"You idiot!" he shouted, and although his entire body felt like it was frozen in time, he was already halfway through throwing his t-shirt off. Heeseung tuned out the sound of more laughter. He could feel his blood boil. "She can't swim!"

With no hesitation, Heeseung dove into the pool, ignoring the cold sensation that sent goosebumps down his spine as the water engulfed him. 

There were some things that cannot be forgotten, and something that Heeseung knew he'd never forget was the way you wrapped your arms around him the moment that you felt his presence. Your once tense body relaxed immediately. You clung onto him, your eyes squeezed shut as stray tears spilled out. He could hear the raggedness of your breath, and just by your face, Heeseung couldn't even imagine the panic and fear that you'd felt. 

"Heeseung," you whimpered, grasping the boy as if you would die. You sniffled, pressing your face into his neck as your arms tightened around his torso. "Hee—"

Heeseung could feel chlorine water droplets slipping into his eyes, burning them. Yet, he didn't remove his hands from around you, not even once. As he stabilized the two of you in the water, he squeezed your shoulders comfortingly.

"You're safe," he said against your ear, "I got you."

The last thing you expected to happen was to be sitting on Heeseung Lee's bed.

He still had his shelf full of comic books and figurines. Except, the last time you really took a look at the shelf was when you were 13, and now six years later it was completely filled to the brim. The walls were still covered in superhero posters. In the corner of his room, there used to be a tiny little ukelele from when he was just learning how to play, but now it was replaced with a guitar.

You shivered, pulling your knees to your chest as you sniffled, holding the towel draped over your shoulders tightly. Your skin felt cold to the touch, but on the inside, you felt like you were burning up. Hot tears lined your eyes, threatening to stream out.

After that fiasco, Heeseung took you upstairs to his room. He left you a few moments ago to find you clean clothes.

You were angry. Why did they throw you in the pool? You thought it was common knowledge that you couldn't swim. You grew up with these people! How did Heeseung Lee remember and not anyone else? How annoying.

"Uh," Heeseung cracked his bedroom door open, poking his head in. You cocked a brow at him, especially when you noticed that he came back empty handed. "Just— Give me a second."

You watched as he went to his own drawers, taking out his own clothes.

"I— There's no girls living in his house," he said sheepishly as he handed you his clothes, unable to hide his red ears. "I couldn't find you— uh— girl clothes, so just— just take mine."

You just frowned.

Although you didn't do any swimming yourself, being thrown into a pool and drowning for a few moments was physically taxing enough. You didn't feel like moving right now, even if it was something as easy as changing clothes. You just put the clothes beside you on the bed, muttering a quiet thanks before pulling your knees even closer to your chest.

Heeseung stared at you. It was uncharacteristic to see you so... small. Someone so bothersome and mean to him, yet here you were curled up like you didn't want to be seen.

Heeseung would never admit it, but he felt bad for you at that moment.

Heeseung sighed.

He took a few more steps forward, standing in front of the bed.

"Scoot over," he said, motioning with his hands.

You looked up at him through your eyelashes. Your lips jutted out for a few seconds into a pout, but you huffed and nodded. Heeseung plopped down beside you, letting out another sigh. 

The two of you sat in silence like that for a few moments, both staring at the floor. In the distance you could still hear water splashing and music from the backyard.

"Thanks, by the way" you murmured, breaking the silence. You kept your eyes down.

"Huh?" Heeseung whipped his head over to you.

"I said thanks," you repeated yourself, this time louder and with annoyance. "You loser."

"Oh." Heeseung blinked. "Sorry."

It was silent again, before you clicked your tongue. You nudge Heeseung with your foot. 

"Why are you apologizing?" you sounded irritated, but Heeseung knew that that was just your natural tone when you weren't trying to be nice all the time. 

"I dunno," the boy shrugged. "I guess for being a loser."

You sighed loudly, your brows furrowing as you nudged him again. 

"You're taking me too seriously," you rubbed your temples. "I mean, you are a loser, but I don't really give a fuck if you are."

Heeseung blinked. "Huh?"

You groaned. "You're so dense. My point is, you have nothing to apologize for, including for being thick in the head and a loser."

.

.

.

"As a matter of fact," you grumbled. "I'm grateful for you. I'd be six feet under if it wasn't for you."

.

.

.

You finally turned to look at Heeseung. Your hand came up to flick his forehead.

"Ow!" Heeseung cried, his hand shooting up for his head. "What was that for— Ack!"

You grabbed a pillow and smacked him square in the head.

"What the hell?!" Heeseung yelled. He reached across you to grab one of his pillows, launching it at you, hitting you in the face.

But instead of fighting back like Heeseung expected, you threw your head back, falling back onto the bed. You were laughing.

"What are you—" Heeseung scrunched his face, before he grabbed another pillow and smacked you again. "What are you laughing at?"

You didn't respond, only continuing to laugh. Heeseung watched as you clutched your stomach, your eyes squeezing together as your lips parted, airy giggles pouring out.

His ears burned. Did he say something funny?

Had Heeseung ever seen you laugh so... light-heartedly? It seemed like the only times you'd laugh was when you were making fun of him. But here you were, laughing like he'd just said the funniest thing.

"Sorry," you said when you finally calmed down. You relaxed into his pillows, letting out a soft ah. You wiped your eyes, which had tears coming out from how hard you laughed. "It's just..." you glanced at him, "You were scaring me."

"Why?" Heeseung's brows furrowed. 

"You were, like, being so awkward," you said coolly. "I mean, you're always awkward, but you were being awkward in a weird, shy way. You weren't fighting back like you usually did."

You flashed him a cheeky grin. "But you seem to be back to normal now."

Heeseung stared at your face. 

Well, even if you were super hot now, and even if you had a crush on him, nothing would change the fact that the two of you were (no matter how much you didn't want to admit it) childhood friends. Heeseung wouldn't want anything to come between that. Even his own awkwardness. There was no use being weird about anything.

Maybe this summer was for the two of you to finally connect, rather than push each other away.

"Ew," you kicked Heeseung, "Stop staring, you freak."

Heeseung rolled his eyes with a chuckle. "Go change."

Truthfully, it was impossible to be awkward like this around you. Heeseung was awkward with everyone, including his own mother sometimes, but not you.

(By the end of the pool party, you and Heeseung had spent most of the time up in his room, which wasn't uncommon throughout your childhood. Though, the difference now was that you and him weren't arguing.)

Normally, on summer mornings, Heeseung slept until noon. But his slumber this morning was rudely interrupted by the sound of someone banging on his door.

"What the fuck?" Heeseung cursed under his breath as he trudged downstairs, still shirtless and groggy in his Minecraft pajama pants. He'd curse at his brother for not answering the door, but Heeseung remembered that everyone else in his family had a life that didn't include being home all day, unlike him. 

Heeseung hastily opened the front door, ready to yell at whoever was disrupting him at this time. It was probably one of those solicitors trying to sell him something, or some kid that accidentally threw a ball into his yard.

But when he opened the door...

"Hi, loser."

Heeseung slammed the door.

What the hell were you doing at his house at this time?! Granted, it was almost 11AM, but still!

"What the fuck?!" you began banging again, "Open up!"

"No!" Heeseung yelled from the other side of the door. "What are you doing here?!"

"Well, open up and I'll tell you!"

After this back and forth for a few minutes, Heeseung finally agreed on letting you in.

"Rude," you muttered, crossing your arms. "Didn't your mother teach you to not slam the door on people's faces?"

Heeseung grabbed the door, beginning to close it again. You jammed your foot inside. "Not so fast, little boy."

Heeseung rolled his eyes. "Explain."

You huffed. "I'm bored. Can we hang out?"

.

.

.

"What? Why?"

You pushed past the boy, stepping inside his house and making your way to the kitchen.

"I already said," you said coolly. "I'm bored."

Heeseung trailed after you. "It's too early!"

You shrugged, making a bee-line for the fridge, looking through it. Heeseung sighed. There was no reckoning with you. He took a seat at the kitchen island, letting out an annoyed groan.

You looked over your shoulder, quirking your brow at him. 

"Nice pajamas, by the way."

It was now that Heeseung realized that he was half naked with messy hair and his embarrassing Minecraft PJ pants.

His ears burned.

"I thought you were done with Minecraft," Heeseung could hear the teasing tone in your voice as a sly grin spread across your lips. "I guess some things just never change."

"Shut— Shut up!" And he scurried upstairs to freshen up and change. You chuckled.

Apparently, your definition of "hanging out" was gossiping in your car while devouring frozen yogurt.

"Why are you so surprised?" you asked, while indiscreetly stealing a strawberry from Heeseung's frozen yogurt.

"I dunno," he shrugged. "I just thought you'd have more extravagant plans for what a 'hang out' is."

You scoffed. "Like what?"

"I don't know!" Heeseung shook his head. "Maybe, like, going to the beach? Or going to the movies? What do cool people do these days?"

"Why would you think that?" you almost looked offended. 

"You were popular in high school, weren't you?" Heeseung reasoned. "I assumed that your hangouts were cool because everyone wanted to be there."

You scowled. "Okay, well, getting frozen yogurt is cool. I don't know what you're talking about." Heeseung shrugged again. "And plus, I chose this activity because I knew you wouldn't like the beach or movies."

Heeseung blinked. Did you really do that for him?

"Why are you looking at me like I killed someone?" you rolled your eyes. "Why would I hang out with you and only do stuff that I'd enjoy? It's not fun when the other person isn't having fun, you know."

"I—I know," Heeseung stammered. The corner of his lips lifted a little bit. "I just can't believe you have feelings."

An offended sound came out of your lips. You slapped his shoulder, once, twice, three times, ignoring his yelps.

"I'm sorryyyyy!" Heeseung cried, squirming away from you. "Ack! What is your problem, dude— Ow! I said I'm sorry!"

"Take that back, you freak!"

"I did...!"

Heeseung never thought that he'd wake up on some mornings and see you in his kitchen, scouring his pantry and fridge for food. 

At first, Heeseung found himself panicking every time he inevitably trekked downstairs, all groggy and shirtless, at noon and you were there munching on cereal.

"Why— What are you—" Heeseung would stare at you horrified, immediately feeling shy because he was shirtless. How could you be so... so casual?! "How did you even get in?!"

You'd just shrug nonchalantly, ignoring Heeseung's spluttering. 

"I asked your mom for an extra key," you had pulled out of your pocket. "See?"

And ever since then, it wasn't common for Heeseung to hear the front door cracking open, followed by the sound of rustling in the kitchen and living room.

Initially, Heeseung made a point to freshen up before clambering down to give you an earful for turning the TV's volume too high. He made sure to throw on a shirt, maybe brush his hair and teeth and wash his face. 

But the moment that Heeseung no longer relied on his biological clock and his alarm clock to wake him up because the ruckus that you'd make in his kitchen was loud enough to shake him out of his slumber, he realized that there was really no escaping you.

"Turn it down, will you?!" Heeseung would shout from upstairs, barely awake. You'd groan, but you'd comply. After all, it was his house that you were raiding.

It was weird. Heeseung never thought that he'd become comfortable with you like this, and in such a short amount of time. There was a level of friendship between the two of you no matter what. You'd grown up together, that was undeniable.

But Heeseung had always expected you and him to actually become friends through other means. He'd always thought that something bigger, more dramatic, would happen, something that would force the two of you to finally get along.

But all it took was for you to be bored one day and go to his house.

Had he been misinterpreting everything? All this time, Heeseung always thought that there was a wall around you, something that he couldn't break down. Yet here he was now, minding his own business while you ate at his kitchen island.

It made him think, was it college and summertime that made the two of you like this? Or has it always been like this, and he never noticed it?

It made him think back to his childhood.

He had so many distinct memories of you.

You pushing him down the slide, you calling him stupid, you pulling his hair when you were bored.

But there were also other memories, ones that Heeseung had to think hard about, ones that made him question whether or not his memory was playing tricks on him.

He could remember you following him upstairs after one of your families' dinners when you guys were six years-old. 

If there was something six year-old Heeseung and you could agree on, it was that the adults' conversations at dinner were too boring and convoluted to follow. 

Heeseung faintly remembered the way you paused briefly in front of the shelf in the corner of his room. It was the shelf that he displayed his comic books and superhero figurines on, a collection that he'd spent all of his allowance money on. 

Heeseung had ignored you as you messed around with his stuffed animals, opting to read his comic books in silence. You had crawled up beside him, your squeaky voice pulling Heeseung's head out of the pages.

"What's that?" you had asked him.

Heeseung's teeth sunk into his bottom lip. He remembered what happened after you asked that clearly.

"A comic book," young Heeseung had said annoyedly, shooting you a glare. "Duh."

Heeseung could distinctly remember how he felt at that moment. Embarrassment. His brother, his brother's friends, and Heeseung's own friends liked to tease him for his nerdy interests.

Six year-old you didn't take the hint, only further poking and prying him. Your fingers plucked one of the pages, curiously looking at the screen-toned pages and text bubbles. "What's it about?"

Heeseung had snatched the comic book from you, so hard that the page you were gripping ripped. His memory was fuzzy here, but from what he could recall, Heeseung got angry and yelled at you. He had pushed you, making you bump into his figurine shelf. One of his bigger and sharper figurines managed to knock over, falling and hitting your square in the face.

It was nothing serious, just a scratch, but you were crying by the end of it.

As an adult, Heeseung cringed at the memory.

Poor, awkward six year-old Heeseung, who thought you were making fun of him when really you were just interested.

And after that, you never asked him about his superhero comics again.

As Heeseung now peered at you scrolling through movies to watch, he couldn't help but notice how you hovered over all the superhero movies, before moving past them. He wondered how different things would have been if he didn't yell at you that day. In fact, he wondered how different things would have been if he didn't yell at you at all.

Because now that Heeseung thought about it, all of his memories of you annoying him were really just you wanting to talk to him. When you slapped his shoulder and called him stupid, it wasn't you trying to be mean to him. You were just like that.

Had he taken everything wrong all this time?

First, it started with you eating in his kitchen everyday.

The next thing Heeseung knew, you were forcing him to go outside everyday, one way or another. This must be the most sunlight that Heeseung has ever had in his entire life.

On some days, you wanted to go on walks around the neighborhood.

"Do you remember that house?" you asked him once, pointing to the house at the end of the block. 

Heeseung's lips lifted. "Of course I do. How could I forget?"

You chuckled. "Hell-bound dogs, right?"

Heeseung could remember the day. When you and him were ten years-old, you went trick-or-treating down the neighborhood. The house at the end of the block was new to the neighborhood, so the two of you kids had no clue what your new neighbor was like.

Big mistake. That year, Heeseung was dressed as a demon with a plastic demonic mask, while you were a witch.

The two of you had no idea that your neighbor would be so... afraid... of two children dressed as a demon and as a witch. 

As fast as you rang that doorbell, chanting trick or treat!, the two of you were sent running back home at full speed, with a shouting neighbor threatening to call the police on you "hell-bound dogs." And that's how that neighbor earned the name Ms. Hell-Bound Dogs.

Poor you.

"Do you think she's still alive?" you grinned cheekily, nudging the boy.

"Who?"

"You know..." you drawled your syllables, "Ms. Hell-Bound Dogs."

Heeseung scoffed. "Of course she is!"

"But it's been nine years!" you shrugged. "You don't know what happens in nine years."

"She wasn't that old," Heeseung reasoned. You sent him a look. The both of you collectively recalled that neighbor being a hag. "Okay, maybe we were just young, so everyone looked old to us."

You hummed. "You're right."

As the two of you approached that house, preparing to pass it, you were engulfed with silence. The neighborhood that you grew up in held so many memories. 

You and Heeseung had spent the entire walk pointing to various houses and obscure things in the neighborhood, recalling old stories of memories of the shenanigans that the two of you would have with them. Heeseung couldn't remember the last time he laughed like this. It wasn't the type of laugh that made him fall to his knees and well up tears in his eyes.

It was more like a laugh that felt mixed with a sob. In a weird way. Each laugh that tumbled from his lips felt so foreign, yet so familiar. 

The type of laugh that could only be elicited by an old friend.

And it was then that Heeseung realized that that's what you were to him. An old friend.

"I dare you to knock on Ms. Hell-Bound Dogs," you said suddenly. You loved to do this, even when you were a kid.

"No," Heeseung shook his head, hiding a chuckle. "I am not doing that."

"C'mon," you nudged him again. "It'll be fun."

Heeseung narrowed his eyes.

"And we'll get to know if she's still alive."

Heeseung looked at Ms. Hell-Bound Dogs' door.

He was curious.

And besides, it would be payback for chasing you two out all those years ago.

Heeseung sighed.

"Fine."

It couldn't be that bad, right? Heeseung and you were older now. You wouldn't be afraid of some old lady. Right?

Wrong.

Because the next thing Heeseung knew, you were carrying him princess style, running as fast as you could down the street. The both of you were cursing at the top of your lungs, shrieking for your dear lives. Heeseung's large body awkwardly draped into your arms, his arms clumsily around your neck, but the two of you were too scared shitless to care.

The moment that you reached the comforts of the Lee house, Heeseung and you caught your breath, keeling over.

After a few moments of just breathing, the two of you made eye-contact. 

At first, you just stared at each other, wondering what the fuck just happened.

But then a smile began to spread on your lips, then on Heeseung's lips, and suddenly the two of you were laughing. Laughing so hard that your stomachs hurt.

"She's way scarier than I remember!" you cried, clutching your stomach as you gripped Heeseung's shoulder for stability. 

"I— I know!" Heeseung laughed. He wiped away his tears, shoving his face in his hands. "I can't believe we just did that!"

And the second thing that Heeseung realized that day was that you, too, were a loser. 

"What’s got you smiling at your phone, Hee?" Heeseung’s dad asked him in the car one afternoon. The Lees had a short weekend getaway, and they were now on their way back. It was no denying that Heeseung had been on his phone much more than he usually was.

"Yeah," his brother nodded in agreement. "You've been texting a lot these days."

Heeseung's mother gasped. "You didn't get a girlfriend, did you?"

The whole car erupted, the tires of the Lee car skrrting against the wheels abruptly. His dad and brother whooped, while his mother excitedly squealed.

..... Except Heeseung heard none of this.

Because he had his earphones jammed in his ears, completely absent as he stared at the window.

The offense?

Heeseung was busy blasting your summer playlist.

Look, it wasn't because he liked you or anything. It was just that your summer playlist had all the songs that he liked! Maybe except a few...

The other day when Heeseung found himself in the passenger seat of your car chowing down on fast food, the two of you talked about music. Surprisingly, you had a lot in common in terms of music taste.

You guys ended up riding along the coastal highway late into the night, just sharing songs.

Heeseung remembered how the traffic lights reflected off your face, illuminating your pretty eyes. You chuckled at a few songs that came up.

"You know," you had smiled, but your brows furrowed, "Kai sent me this song when we were dating Sophomore Year."

And when another song came up, you furrowed your brows again. "I think EJ sent me this one when we were dating."

And again. "Oh! When I was dating..."

And for some reason, Heeseung couldn't bring himself to listen to any of the songs that your high school exes sent you. It could've been his favorite song, but for some reason, any association with your past lovers made Heeseung feel sick.

Heeseung couldn't figure out why he was so bothered. There were songs that he swore he could never hate, but it left such a bitter taste in his mouth that another man sent you songs.

Now, Heeseung's nose curled as he glanced at the song now playing.

I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys. Everyone knew this song, so it shouldn't be a surprise that one of your exes sent you this. But still. Heeseung felt uneasy listening to it. He couldn't figure out why. It was such a weird feeling. His heart felt like it was throbbing in his chest, tightening at the thought of it.

By now, Heeseung was certain that Jay's earlier report about you having a crush on him was outdated. It's been a while since Heeseung's thought about it, and while it still made him burn up, he was convinced that even if you did like him, that was the past. There was no use in dwelling on it anymore.

His finger hovered over the skip button for a few moments, taking in the sound of the rough bass. 

Heeseung didn't know why he felt a sense of disappointment. Disappointed that you probably didn't like him like that anymore. 

Skip.

Sooo... you're not very successful at forgetting your mini crush on Heeseung. You swore that you could, especially because you thought you'd grown up.

But now as you watch the way Heeseung's big hands wrapped around the steering wheel, his eyes focused on the road while your collaborative playlist plays on repeat, you're finding it difficult to pull your eyes away from him.

He was just so... loserish. He was so awkward, and clumsy, and embarrassing, yet somehow every time you saw his grimace after he tripped over his feet yet again, it made you feel so warm.

One of your old highschool friends was throwing a party at her beach house, and you were invited. You didn't want to go alone, so you begged Heeseung to go with you. And after some hefty convincing, he finally agreed.

The two of you (mostly you) had spent the entire afternoon getting ready.

You made sure to put on your tiniest dress and tallest heels, glittery makeup across your face and curly lashes lining your eyes. 

As you fixed your lipgloss in Heeseung's rearview mirror, you glanced at him from the corner of your eye.

You had to sit Heeseung down and give him a lesson in fashion. He was really about to go to a party in a hoodie. His entire closet consisted of baggy t-shirts and hoodies, and while they looked damn good on him, he needed proper party attire.

You searched through his entire closet, and lo and behold, you found the compression shirt that Heeseung borrowed from his brother and never returned. 

You couldn't stop looking at the veins on his forearms, or the biceps on his arms that flexed everytime he gripped the steering wheel. You knew Heeseung worked out, but seeing his toned arms in the flesh made your cheeks feel warm.

Under his big doe eyes, pouty lips, and disheveled hair was a man.

It was hard to fully conceptualize sometimes— that you were no longer the squeaky teenage girl head over heels for your nerdy childhood friend. Instead, you were a woman, and so was he.

Heeseung's eyes fluttered over to you, sinking his teeth into his bottom lip as the two of you pulled up to the house.

"I don't think I know anybody here," Heeseung sighed, wringing his fingers nervously. As the two of you got out of his car and approached the door, he groaned, "It's gonna be so awkward."

"Relax," you grinned at him, reaching out to squeeze his shoulder. "Just stick beside me the entire time."

He chewed on his bottom lip. He was uneasy. You sighed, linking your fingers with his. His eyes widened into saucers, but you ignored it. You gave his hand a squeeze. 

"You're gonna be fine," you reassured, before dragging him into the party, hand-in-hand.

The moment that you stepped inside the beach house, you could feel Heeseung tense up, squeezing your hand. 

You couldn't blame him, for the bright strobe lights, booming music, and smell of sweat, alcohol, and drugs hit your senses immediately.

"Just follow me," you whispered to him. You shot him another smile. "C'mon. Let's get some drinks."

And despite what everyone liked to think, you were a law-abiding citizen. You were not about to get wasted, and you were under the drinking age anyway. You got yourself orange juice and Heeseung apple juice (something that you knew he'd like because you used to argue about it).

You found it a bit entertaining as you went around the house, saying hi to all of your old classmates and friends, while Heeseung followed you like a lost puppy. You had him hold you by the shoulders, finding it awfully endearing every time he squeezed them.

"I thought you hated her," he whispered into your ear after you just greeted someone, striking up an animated conversation with her. 

"I do," you chuckled. Of course Heeseung would remember. "She's why me and Taehyun broke up."

You heard Heeseung's breath hitch, a gasp in his throat. "Really? That's fucked."

You chuckled again. So cute. "I know."

Every time you encountered someone that Heeseung personally disliked, you could feel him gripping your shoulders. It was cute. 

"Is that Heeseung Lee?!" a squeaky voice suddenly filled you and Heeseung's ears. And the next thing you knew, Heeseung was being crowded around by a group of girls, leading him to be whisked away from you. You couldn't remember any of their names, but you definitely remembered who they were.

When you said that Heeseung was a loser, you meant it in an endearing, mean-but-not-really way. 

These girls were actual bullies in high school, and for a time, they'd bully Heeseung. If it weren't for you scaring them off everytime, Heeseung might be dead.

But there they were, crowding around and cooing at Heeseung, touching his arms and batting their eyelashes at them as if they didn't bully the shit out of him. 

"I didn't know you got so hot, Hee!"

"If I knew you'd be so strong, I would've fucked you in high school."

"What're you doing after this, Heeseung?"

You could sense Heeseung's discomfort. From the way that he recoiled from each touch, to the way his wide eyes occasionally met yours, to the way that his lips curled.

And it made your blood boil.

Not only were these the people that went out of their way to hurt him, here they were acting like Heeseung would forget just because they thought he was hot. Blatantly disrespectful.

Help me, his eyes read. And of course you did.

You marched over to where they were, creeping up behind Heeseung and grabbing his shoulder and yanking him backward away from the hoard. 

"Get behind me," you whispered to him, and Heeseung immediately complied. 

"Hi, guys!" you greeted with a tight-lipped smile. You could feel Heeseung's fingers playing with the lacing at the back of your dress, something he did when he was nervous.

"[Name]!" the girls exclaimed, but you could tell that they were unhappy with your presence. "We were just talking to ourHee."

"Oh!" You faked excitement, flashing them another smile. You narrowed your eyes at them, before reaching behind you to grab Heeseung's wrist. "Well, me and Heeseung were about to leave just now."

"Aww!" one of them whined, yet she still managed to bat her eyelashes at Heeseung, who shifted uncomfortably. 

"C'mon, [Name]!" another crossed her arms. You could tell that her tone was playful, but you knew better. "You got all the hot guys during high school. Let us have this one, won't you?"

You feigned a giggle. 

"No, sorry girl," you said in a chirpy tone. You didn't want to seem hostile. "This one's mine."

The girls blinked at you. "Yours?"

"Mhm!" you smiled again. You squeezed Heeseung's hand in yours, bringing it up to show them your interlocked fingers. "Right, Babe?"

Heeseung stared at you for a few moments, before nodding his head quickly, his tongue swiping over his bottom lip. "O-Of course, baby."

You craned your neck up to gently press a kiss on his neck, ignoring his surprised yelp, before you turned back to the girls. "We'll be leaving now. It was nice seeing you!"

And with that, you pushed through the crowd of people, making a bee-line for the door and taking Heeseung with you.

The walk back to Heeseung’s car was silent. When the two of you got inside, it was still silent. Heeseung didn't start the engine or the music. He just sat there quietly.

"I'm sorry," he finally blurted.

"Huh?" you cocked your head. "What are you sorry about?"

"I feel like I ruined the night," Heeseung murmured, a large frown on his lips.

"What?!" you furrowed your brows, reaching out to touch his arm. "No, no, no! You didn't ruin anything."

He continued to frown. The car shook just from how loud the music was, and you could feel the bass in your chest. 

"And you had to kiss me!" he continued, shoving his face into his hands.

You furrowed your brow. Did he not like it? Was he disgusted with you?

"You shouldn't have!" Heeseung continued rambling on, using his hands. Poor boy sniffled, and it was then that you noticed the way his doe eyes welled with tears. From the way he blinked quickly while turning away from you so that you couldn't see his face told you everything. "Now everyone is going to think that you're dating me!"

You were a little hurt. "Why is that a bad thing?"

"It's a bad thing for you," Heeseung muttered into his palms, sniffling quietly. "I'm a loser, [Name]. And you're not. What if everyone starts seeing you differently?"

Your hand ghosted over his shoulder. "Why should anyone's opinion matter to me?"

"Because!" Heeseung whipped his head over to you. With the sun setting, orange light reflected off his cheeks and red nose, as well as his glassy eyes. 

"Because....." he sighed, before stopping. "What, you don't regret it?"

You crossed your arms. 

"The only reason I'd regret kissing you is if you felt uncomfortable." You met his eyes. "Did I make you uncomfortable?"

Heeseung stared at you for a few times, before he whipped his head away again. But this time, it wasn't out of shame or remorse. You could tell by his shaky voice, pink ears, and rigid body language that he was embarrassed more than anything.

"No..." he mumbled. "The k-kiss... didn't make me uncomfortable. I actually kind of— Never mind."

If you hadn't known him all your life, you wouldn't have been able to tell that Heeseung was flustered. Flustered beyond reason. If you asked him a question about superhero comics, a topic that he knew front and back, he still wouldn't be able to give a coherent answer. That was how flustered he was.

How cute.

"Hmm?" you hummed, the corners of your lips raising. "Complete that thought."

Heeseung groaned something that you couldn't understand, shoving his face back into his palms. You chuckled as you pulled him away from his hands, gently clutching his jaw and forcing him to look at you.

"I wanna know what you were going to say, Heeseung," you rasped, unable to hide the slyness in your voice.

He let out an embarrassed squeak. Even if it weren't for the orange sunlight, you would still be able to tell how red Heeseung got. The warmth emitting from his face was so strong that you could feel it. Poor boy couldn't even look you in the eye.

So cute.

"I-I..."

You hummed. "Go on."

"I was just going to say..." Heeseung squeezes his eyes shut, something he did when he was so embarrassed that he'd explode. "I l-liked the kiss."

.

.

.

You opened your mouth to speak, but he continued to ramble on. "I-I mean I didn't mind it that much. Itwasjustnicewhenitcamefromyouanditmademefeelreallywarmandmushyand—"

"Let's get out of here, Heeseung," you interrupted him with a reassuring smile. "We can go somewhere else."

"L-Like where?"

You grinned.

Where it all began.

"The playground?"

Heeseung gaped as you pulled him out of the car. He let you drive this time, fully expecting to go somewhere like the pier or the end of some road where it was quiet. Not the playground.

"Yessir."

The playground near your neighborhood was nothing special. It had a spiral slide, swings, rock-climbing, telephone, a basketball court, hopscotch, and then some. It looked much smaller than you and Heeseung remembered.

This was where it all started, where you and Heeseung met as young children.

Things have changed since then. The swing set has been remodeled, the sandbox removed, and the railing have been repainted with a different color from your childhood.

"C'mon," you tugged on Heeseung's arm.

Heeseung stared at you. By now the sky was beginning to turn blue and the streetlamps were on. Even so, you still managed to glow. All his life, you glowed. You glowed so bright that you outshined him, so bright that you attracted everyone like a moth to a flame, and he never understood why.

But now he did.

The mischievous glint in your eyes, the grin spread across your face, and the way you called out to him to go play— it was like nothing changed. You were still you, still the cheeky little shithead that you always were. And he loved it. He loved you. Maybe he always had.

Some things really never changed. 

"Heeseung, push meeeeeee!" you shouted from across the playground. As a kid, Heeseung loved to collect rocks. As a grown-up he thought it was ridiculous, but now Heeseung couldn't resist the call of the rocks. 

Meanwhile, you were on the swings.

"You still don't know how to do it yourself?!" Heeseung yelled back. 

"I doooon't!"

Heeseung sighed, shoving the rocks that he collected into his pockets before trudging over to you. Though, not without chuckling to himself.

After running around the playground a little bit and taking a trip down memory lane and whatnot, you followed Heeseung to the basketball courts. In your middle school days, you remembered how Heeseung would ditch you at the swings to go play basketball.

You sat next to the base of the hoop, just far enough to not get hit.

You watched in awe as Heeseung dribbled the ball, passing the orangey ball from palm to palm. He was always good at basketball. You remember pressuring him in highschool to try out for the school team. And when he made it, nothing made you feel giddier than seeing the proud and excited look on his face. That's why you went to all of his games in secret, just to silently cheer him on. Of course, you'd never let him know that.

With each flick of his wrist to shoot the ball, you couldn't hide your amazement as he made every basket.

Every.

Single.

One.

Tall, strong, talented, and a loser.

Gosh, you wanted him so bad.

Him and his nerdy little antics.

On Heeseung's end, he made sure to play his best.

Sure, he was in his childhood basketball court. Sure, he wasn't playing against anyone else. But that was exactly why he had to do his best.

You were watching.

He'd never forget how you ran up to him after seeing him hoop one afternoon, exclaiming, "You need to try out for the basketball team!"

Back then, he thought you were being mean, but your words rang through his head enough that he actually did try out for the team. And he made it.

Now that he was an adult, Heeseung realized that you were anything but mean. If anything, you were encouraging him. 

And now that you were watching him play all these years later, Heeseung had to prove to you that your words were not in vain.

"Woooooow," you drew out your syllables as you watched, silently clapping your hands at each basket. 

Heeseung chuckled, jogging up to where you were. Letting the basketball roll across the court, Heeseung crouched down to your sitting figure, wiped the sweat on his forehead with the back of his palm.

"You're so good at basketball, Heeseung," you said coolly, trying your best to hide the fact that you were 100% gawking at him and his sweaty face.

Heeseung laughed as he caught his breath. The smell of the night air was making him feel so alive, so bold.

"All thanks to you," he breathed as he ran a hand through his sweaty hair. 

"Nah," you waved him off. "You're giving me too much credit. It's all because of your hard work."

Heeseung shook his head, lightly punching your arm. "It's your support that made me so good."

You shook your head. "Not at all."

The boy gave you a look, quirking his brow, almost like he was doubting you. "You think I never noticed you at my games?"

.

.

.

Shit.

"Y-You knew I was at your games?!" 

He knew all this time?!

!!!

Warmth washed over you.

All those times you screamed his name from across the court to cheer his name, all those times you snuck, all those times you jabbed at him for playing too much even though you spent too much time at his games.

Your cheeks felt warm as your hands found refuge on your head, shaking as you squeezed your eyes shut.

"No, no, no!" you cried. "That's so embarrassing!"

Heeseung's deep laugh made you even more embarrassed, especially the way he cooed at you and put a hand on your knee reassuringly.

"Of course I knew you were there," Heeseung said, putting a hand on his chin. "I knew it every single time. I don't think you missed any of my games."

You squeezed your eyes shut even harder, groaning. "Stooooop."

Heeseung laughed again, before clicking his tongue. He got back up and strolled toward the stray basketball.

You didn't know why, but his nonchalance and ease at picking up the ball made your heart pound. He was just so... strong.

Sure, he was a loser most of the time, but on the court, he was a completely different person.

As Heeseung began to dribble again, you had to admit that it was attractive.

With one more bounce, Heeseung snapped his head at you, meeting your eyes. 

"This one's for you."

Your heart drummed in your chest. This was the type of stuff that happened in movies, when the basketball player dedicates a hoop for their loved one. How were you a grown woman and still feeling giddy and nervous over this?

It felt like it happened in slow motion. 

You watched as the ball seemingly floated between his fingertips. The sound of the rubber ball as it collided with the concrete courts filled your ears, coupled by the sound of your heart pounding in your chest. 

Heeseung's tongue swiped over his bottom lip. With a flick of the wrist and a jump, he shot the ball up into the air. 

It stayed up in the air for what felt like an eternity, before it propelled forward.

There it was, its orange skin against the blue night sky.

And as gravity pulled it toward Earth, you held your breath.

Closer and closer, the ball inched toward the red-brimmed hoop.

And just as you held your breath...

The ball...

Missed.

.

.

.

You deadpanned.

Heeseung was going to dedicate a ball to you... and he missed the hoop completely.

That's...

So cute.

You snorted, before you keeled over, some of the hardest laughs of your entire light spilling out of your mouth. This was hysterical. You laughed so hard that your stomach hurt.

Heeseung was such a loser, and it made you feel like a little girl.

Meanwhile, Heeseung stood there, completely red in the face.

"Sh-Shut up!" he grumbled as you laughed. How embarrassing!

When you finally calmed down, you had to hold yourself back from cooing at how cute Heeseung's embarrassed face was. But you just look at him with a grin. 

"Try again."

And he did.

And it felt like suddenly the world was against him.

Just a few minutes ago, Heeseung made every single one of his shots.

And now that it actually mattered, he missed.

Every.

Single.

One.

And to make things worse, you laughed at every one of his missed shots.

"Heeseung Lee," you announced as he gave up, taking a seat beside you. "You are such a loser."

He groaned, pulling his knees to his chest. 

The two of you sat in a comfortable silence, listening to the grasshoppers sing their hearts out. 

Neither of you wanted to move. Because if you did, it would mean one step closer to this night ending. Of course, there was always tomorrow and the rest of the summer to see each other, but to be separated even for a little bit as night passes was too long.

It felt like so much had changed, but at the same time, it felt like everything was exactly as it was left.

Feeling a stroke of boldness, Heeseung guided your head onto his shoulder, before slithering his arm to wrap around your own shoulders.

You guys stayed like that for a little bit.

Heeseung gazed at you. You could be lost in thought or dozing off, he wouldn't be able to tell.

He wanted this to last a little bit longer than forever.

Something was changing and neither of you could tell what it was.

Maybe it was now early July, and the heat was unbearable. Or maybe it was the intense scent of bug repellent that had gotten to your heads. It could be all those frozen yogurts you guys ate in your car, or the amount of shitty superhero movies you binged together.

Whatever it was, it was changing everything.

A single atom was out of place, a molecule of carbon was in the wrong spot. Heeseung couldn’t put his finger on it.

The air felt so warm, but not in a humid, suffocating way. 

More like in a rosy way, like someone put a filter over Heeseung's world and now everything was more vibrant.

Heeseung had reason to suspect that you were the culprit.

He'd known you his whole life, and it was only up until recently that he understood why people loved you so much. Because who wouldn't? You weren't just beautiful, but so goddamn incredible. In every way possible.

Heeseung couldn't explain it. He didn't think he had a crush on you. 

In all the romance books and games and movies that he'd consumed, they portrayed crushes as this magical unicorn of all things. Nervous, awkward, clumsy, and an upward battle.

But when Heeseung thought of you, he didn't feel any of these things. 

He felt at home. Comfortable, as if he could be as much of a nerdy loser as he wanted and he'd still be treated the same way. 

Unlike all what fiction would tell him, you weren't some god to him, nor were you a venerated saint. You were just you, and that was already enough to make his heart race. 

There wasn't that urge to constantly hold your hands or kiss your lips (not that he didn't think about it!).

Rather, there was a need to always be with you, to be let into your world, to listen to every thought that you had, to hear your laugh until he fell asleep.

Maybe Heeseung didn't have a crush on you, but it was certainly something else.

And it was the same for you.

You've had crushes, and you've had boyfriends.

You always felt like you needed to be perfect for them, to be drop-dead gorgeous and put-together all the time, to be the kindest version of yourself.

But when it came to Heeseung, it didn't feel like that. 

You could be as brash and annoying as you wanted, without the fear that he'd shun you. In fact, Heeseung would fight back or laugh.

While with all your boyfriends you wanted intimacy, validation, and constant reassurance, Heeseung felt safe. 

You craved nothing from Heeseung except... Well, Heeseung himself. 

And it was driving you nuts.

Help!

It was another family dinner, with both of your families, this time at your own house.

Heeseung and you sat across from each other. From when you were children until now, the two of you still ignored everything that the adults said, opting to stare and make faces at each other.

Except this time, it was absolutely impossible to look at each other without bursting out laughing. 

You dug your teeth into your bottom lip, holding back a smile as you glued your eyes to your plate. If you dared to look up and even catch sight of Heeseung's hair, you'd probably laugh.

You gripped your fork. Even if you weren't looking at him, you still somehow could hear him. The way he obnoxiously and loudly poked at his food with his fork was something you always jabbed at him for, and it was still noticeable to you now. Except, instead of annoying you, it only made it harder to not laugh.

"[Name]," Ms. Lee's voice pulled you out of your thoughts. You looked up with shaky eyes, and when your eyes passed over Heeseung, you had to bite back a giggle. Alas, you weren't strong enough to hold back a smile.

"Yes?" you responded. From the corner of your eye, you could see Heeseung's nose scrunching. You sent him a quick glare, one that could only last a millisecond.

Don't you dare make a funny face or I'll spill my water all over you, your glare read. But it didn't seem like Heeseung cared.

"What have you been up to all summer?" Ms. Lee smiled. "Any summer programs?"

"No, not this summer," you answered politely. "I've just been—"

Your mother interjected, wiggling her eyebrows. "I've noticed [Name] and Heeseung hanging out a lot this summer."

From under the table you felt Heeseung kick you, but you still didn't dare look at his face. You had to bite inside of your cheek to keep laughter from tumbling out, your eyes wobbling.

"Oh, really?" Ms. Lee looked over at her son. "I didn't know you and [Name] were close, Hee!"

And this was when you unfortunately made eye-contact with Heeseung. Poor boy, his lips wobbled and twitched, trying his hardest to keep it in.

"Y-Yeah," he answered quickly, his voice shaking. That in itself was enough to make you let out a giggle. But before it could be uncontrollable, you clamped your hand over your mouth. You watched as Heeseung did the same, except this time, his face was bright red.

"That's so great!" you moms rejoiced. "We were so afraid that you guys would hate each other forever! You know, when you were kids, you used to..."

You and Heeseung tuned everyone out as they joined in the conversation about your old antics.

Instead, the two of you stared at each other, both completely blank-faced. But a simple look at you and it would be painfully obvious by the way your lips twitched that you were fighting for your life to not burst out with laughter.

And it was when Heeseung was taking a sip of water that you decided to make your attack on him. Just as he was raising his glass to his lips, you quickly made a face at him.

And just as fast as his entire face contorted, a loud laugh fell from his lips. Unfortunately for him, he still had water on his mouth. Poor boy began choking on his water, keeling over himself as he coughed up a storm. 

And while everyone was busy helping him, you were busy laughing your ass off.

You win this one, was the agreement.

"You were 100% playing dirty," Heeseung whined.

You rolled your eyes. "Who gives a fuck?"

After you and Heeseung were excused from the dinner table, the two of you went up to your room.

Currently, the two of you were just lazing around your room. Both of you were on your bed, but Heeseung laid upside-down, with his head hanging off the edge. Although you barely exchanged any words, it wasn't awkward. 

You scrolled through your socials, while Heeseung played his games on his phone. Just the two of you in your own worlds, occasionally breaking the silence to make a jab at each other or to show the other something.

"Oh my god!" you cried suddenly, tossing your phone aside and putting your face in your hands, your fingertips rubbing your temples. "What the fuck?!"

Heeseung, startled, looked at you concerned. "What happened?"

When you groaned into your palms, shaking your head profusely, Heeseung shut off his game, putting his phone away. He sat himself upright, shuffling over to you.

"What happened?" he asked again.

"Bad!" you cried, sinking your head into your pillows. "Horrible! Deplorable! Despicable!"

Heeseung stared at you questioningly, his brows cocking into an arch.

"Tell meeeee," he prodded you, watching as you only sunk back into your pillows. You grabbed one of your plushies and shoved your face into it, flipping over so that you could kick your feet. 

You groaned more, before you screamed into your plush. "I hate men!"

Heeseung poked you again, this time a little bit harder. "Tell meeeee. Did your ex text you?"

"Worse!" your words were slightly muffled, but Heeseung could hear the sheer irritation. "Way, way, way, way, wayworse!"

You did this a little bit longer, before you huffed and flipped yourself over once more. Sitting upright, you saw Heeseung sitting there patiently, waiting for you to explain to him what the fuck was going on.

"Okay so," you began, wincing at the next words you were about to say. "You know how my Instagram is public? So that anyone can message me?"

Heeseung narrowed his eyes. "Yeeeeessss?"

You grumbled something under your breath, taking Heeseung's hands in yours. You traced shapes on his palms and played with his fingers, anything to distract yourself from the godforsaken things you'd have to say next.

"Well," you sighed, shaking your head. "I got a dick pic from some random guy."

Heeseung blinked.

"Oh."

.

.

.

"Wait, you got a what?!"

Yes, you really received an unsolicited picture of some guy's dick. Insane, really.

It was now Heeseung's turn to tweak out. 

"Oh my god!" he fell back into the pillows, grabbing at his hair. How ridiculous! "What the fuuuuuck?!"

"I know right?!" you fell back with him. The two of you laid like that, your heads next to each other. 

It was silent again, save for the sound of your parents chattering downstairs.

"Did you block him?" Heeseung suddenly asked.

"Nope," you sighed loudly. "Not yet."

Heeseung hummed. 

He couldn't imagine how many times you'd probably encountered this type of situation. And if this was the first time, it was already too much. If he were in your position, he'd have absolutely no idea how to react either. He'd be paralyzed, with no idea what to do! Maybe except...

"Do you want to fuck with him?" Heeseung blurted.

"Huh?"

"You know..." the boy swiped his tongue over his lips, wringing his fingers. "Fuck with him."

You looked at him, your head tilted as if you didn't understand.

"I-I mean, if this guy's going to be disrespectful, it wouldn't hurt to give him a taste of his own medicine, right?"

You nodded, understanding. "But how?"

Heeseung's nose scrunched. He had many ideas, but he wasn't sure which one was the best. "Well, do you want to have fun with it or do you want to genuinely scare this guy off?"

You thought for a second, before a sly grin made its way across your cheeks. "There's no harm in having fun. I can just block him afterwards, easy peasy."

"Oh," Heeseung said. Then, a good idea popped into his head. His lips curved. "I have just the idea for that."

"Is this okay?"

"Hmm, a little to the left."

Heeseung's plan was funny, but it also made you feel... mushy.

The idea was for Heeseung to respond on your phone pretending to be your boyfriend, something that would probably scare the other guy off. 

After a little bit of stalking, you guys concluded that the guy was a frat bro, so it would be best to prepare some pictures for evidence.

The first picture you decided to take was one that showed just a small part of your back and shoulders in bed, just enough to make it seem like you were in bed with someone. That way, it would be believable if Heeseung pretended to be your boyfriend.

So here you were, laying in bed with the blankets strategically draped over you, pretending to be asleep, while Heeseung snapped 'candid' pictures. You turned off all the lights to make it more believable, so if your parents walked in now they'd be confused as all hell.

"It's a little blurry," Heeseung remarked as he looked at the camera roll.

"That's perfect," you rolled over, facing him. "It'll look even more candid."

The next picture that you prepared was a little bit more risky, but all the more impactful.

"So... So.. Uhm—" Heeseung's cheeks burned as he explained it to you. "I think it would scare him if he thought he was messing with a super buff guy, you know?"

"Uh huh."

"W-Well," Heeseung grimaced. "If I send— like— a picture of my muscles, or something, I think it would scare him off."

You blinked. "Is this just an excuse to show off your biceps?"

"No!"

As you tuned out Heeseung's rambling, you thought for a few seconds. If you were a guy, and some girl's boyfriend caught you trying to flirt with her, what would make you piss yourself?

Well, it would definitely be any explicit indication of intimacy... Your lips moved faster than your mind.

"What if you sent a picture of you with hickeys and lipstick marks?" you gushed.

Heeseung choked on his spit, coughing so loud that you thought he would burst a lung. His face was bright red, his eyes as wide as saucers as he stared at you horrified.

"A picture of me with what?!"

"Hickeys and lipstick marks," you said casually.

"And where would I get them?!" Heeseung was going to faint. If you said what he think you were going to say, he'd absolutely combust—

"Me, duh."

Flames. Absolute flames. That's what Heeseung felt on his skin. Were you just suggesting that you could give him hickeys and lipstick marks? His heart was pounding in his chest, so loud that he could barely hear his own thoughts.

"I mean, if you don't want to, we can just—"

"No!" Heeseung interrupted you, as if he wasn't as red as a tomato. "I can take it!"

And that's how Heeseung found himself sitting on your bedroom floor, his body so hot and hands clammy as he watched you roll up his sleeve. 

Here was the plan for this picture: You'd put a few lipstick marks and hickeys on his biceps and neck. That way, he could snap a quick picture of that area alone while flexing, effectively scaring off the guy.

(Or maybe this entire plan was a very poor excuse for Heeseung to pretend to be your boyfriend and for you to kiss him.)

"Have you ever gotten a hickey?"

Heeseung's cheeks flared. "N-No."

You quickly put on your most pigmented lipstick. Slowly, you leaned closer to Heeseung's neck. He could feel your breath against his ears, making him want to squirm away. You put your hand on the other side of him so that you could stabilize yourself.

"Well," you whispered. "It doesn't hurt, so don't worry."

You brought your hand up to Heeseung's hair, gently tilting his head back to get better access to his neck. 

"Can I...?" you rasped, wetting your lips.

"Y-Yes."

And with that, your lips attacked his neck. You made sure to press on firm kisses so that the imprint of your lips would be defined on his neck. 

With each kiss, Heeseung let out a quiet whimper, his eyes squeezing shut as his arm jerked out to grasp your arm gently.

He felt like he was dreaming, because here he was, having you kiss him. No intense build-up, no dramatic reason, just because it was funny and you wanted to fuck with someone. God, Heeseung would be lying if he said he never thought about what your lips would feel like. They were always so pretty, and so soft.

All throughout his life, Heeseung had never had a romantic experience. It was his first time ever being kissed on the neck, and goddamnit was he sensitive. The way your lips pressed against his skin made him feel so weak. 

He wanted to be closer to you, closer than whatever this stupid little plan was. He craved it.

His other arm came up to slither around your waist, pulling you even closer to him.

"Hees— Heeseung— Ah—" you pulled your lips away, both of your hands coming up to clutch his shoulders for stability. "What are you doing?"

Heeseung's pupils were blown out. 

"Get on top of me," he breathed desperately, "Please."

"Shiiiit," you cursed under your breath, before you plopped down on his lap, your legs on either side of his hips. 

The two of you locked eyes, staring into each other's swirling pools of color. You could've been lost in Heeseung's eyes for minutes or for hours, there wouldn't have been a difference.

Oh, how much you wanted to kiss him. Not just a stupid little kiss on the neck. You wanted to kiss him on the lips, kiss him so hard that he forgot his own name.

Yeah, you had a crush on Heeseung Lee. You always had, and it seemed like no matter what, you were always bound to be downright attracted to him. God, you wanted him so bad.

Meanwhile, blaring alarms were going off in Heeseung's head. 

He wanted to kiss you so bad. He wanted to drown in you, for you to be the only thing enveloping his senses.

Except... he had no idea how to— he had no idea now to express that. And it was making his head spin.

You opened your mouth to speak, not realizing that Heeseung, too, had something to say.

"Hee—"

"I—"

Both of you shut your mouths so quickly.

"S-Sorry," you stuttered. "Go ahead."

Heeseung blinked a few times, before he shut his eyes. You watched how he parted his lips, yet no sound came out, almost as if he was searching for the words in his head to say. 

"I-I—" he started, before cutting himself off. His eyes squeezed together, his brows crashing together. You could feel his body tense under you.

"I don't know," he finally got out. "I-I— I don't know what—"

You brought your hand up to cup his cheek reassuringly. Slowly, he opened his eyes, and your thumb rubbed his cheek gently. 

"Tell me," you whispered. "Tell me, baby."

Heeseung gulped. He felt like he'd melt under your gaze, but the way you were so gentle encouraged him. Heeseung kept his eyes glued on the floor, because if he even dared to look you in the eye he'd turn to stone.

He took a deep breath. He'd tell you how you made him feel. It shouldn't be too hard, right?

But the moment that he opened his mouth, his brain turned to mush.

"I want to— I just— I don't know—" he stammered— "I wish I could— You know— It's hard to say, and—"

And if it wasn't for the way you stifled a giggle, Heeseung thought he would've gone on like this for another ten minutes. 

The moment that Heeseung realized you were smiling at his struggle, he shut his mouth, letting out a groan. He threw his head back, bringing his hands up to shove his face in.

"Shut up," he groaned. This was so embarrassing. He could feel heat prickling on his skin. His face was so hot that he thought he'd explode. "Shutupshutupshutup!"

You giggled again, this time using both your hands to cup his face. 

Despite your cool, nonchalant exterior, you were giggling and kicking your feet on the inside. 

"You're—" you breathed— "You're such a fucking loser."

Heeseung was about to tell you to shut up again, but you cut him off.

"Can I kiss you?"

You relished in the way his eyes widened, probably the widest that you've ever seen them. So cute.

"P-Please."

And with that, you smashed your lips against his. 

Poor boy, he was completely frozen at first. But as you swiped your tongue over his bottom lip, you relished in the way that he let out a gasp, giving you just enough room to slip your tongue inside his mouth. You explored his mouth— every corner and every crevice was meant for you to corrupt. 

You could feel his hands fall down at his sides. Of course, a loser like Heeseung wouldn't know where to put them. As you taste his lips, you guided his hands to your thighs. He gasped again, and you took this as an opportunity to deepen the kiss. As you did, Heeseung squeezed your thighs, letting out a whine.

Finally, you pulled away.

The two of you stared at each other, both breathless with swollen lips.

And as you caught your breath, you breathed, "I like you."

Maybe he would've been too stunned to speak after a kiss like that, but your words a loud "Huh?!" spill from his lips.

You grasped his chin, pulling him in again. 

"I like you," you murmured against his lips, your eyes lidded.

Heeseung's breath hitched. "I—"

"Was that what you were going to say?" you said slyly, unwilling to hide your teasing tone. A whimper came from him. "Did I beat you to it?"

You ghosted your lips over his teasingly, loving the way that Heeseung leaned forward a little bit, whining as you pulled away just enough for him to miss you.

"Just—" he murmured, "Just kiss me already."

"Gladly."

And with that, your lips crashed together. This time, Heeseung's lips were moving, too. He was a clumsy kisser, someone who had no fucking idea what he was doing. But that made the kiss even better. You've kissed many boys, but for some reason Heeseung was the best kisser you've had. You could taste him.

"Such a fucking loser," you murmured. You felt his hands slide up your waist, squeezing you.

"Yeah," Heeseung mumbled against your lips, and although his words were muffled, his voice drove you crazy. "Yourfucking loser."

Immediately you pulled away.

You looked at Heeseung, and he looked at you.

.

.

.

You bursted out laughing, and so did he.

"God, you're so cheesy!"

"Shut up!"

BONUS

You rested your cheek on Heeseung's shoulder, watching as he typed away. After all this, the two of you still needed to fulfill your plan: fuck with Mr. Dick Pic.

"What are you going to say?" you asked, nuzzling your face into Heeseung's neck. You admired the purple-pink marks littering his skin, the ones that you left. Your lipstick marks smudged when you and Heeseung were making out earlier, so you had to redo them. It was hard, because all Heeseung could do was giggle like a little girl.

"Trust me, I'll cook something up."

And cook he did.

[name]: she's busy bro

[name]: [photo]

The first photo he sent was the candid one of you.

You waited a few seconds, and Mr. Dick Pic immediately opened the message.

Heeseung hid your phone from you, so you couldn't see the guy's response.

But what you could see was how he furiously typed away.

You thought it was funny at first... until Heeseung was typing paragraphs and paragraphs so loud that you could hear his fingers tapping the screen.

"Hold on, babe, I'm fighting this guy!"

"Just block him...!"

Some things never changed.

where else can you find me?

Deviantart: https://www.deviantart.com/truth-is-hard

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/truth_is_hard_101

bookmarks only:

FFN: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/15128898/ (the-awkward-echo)

FIM: https://www.fimfiction.net/user/447547/the-awkward-echo