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Resurfaced

(Kevin Atwater x Original Female Character)

*Not my gif*

Kevin finds it hard to protect what's his when the past comes back to haunt him and his wife.

Moonlight & ambient noise from the city streets several stories below filled the room. Both of you barely dressed, Kevin’s large muscular frame rested comfortably on top of you in the bed. Having just made love for the first time in weeks, neither one of you wanted to move from this space. He kissed you right above your collarbone, which still managed to make you quiver in all the right places. You gently traced circles along his back and finally decided it was time to break the silence.

“What’s wrong?”

He shifted to place his lips slightly lower on your chest as a distraction. While leaving gentle kisses.. “Everything’s...fine..Bianca..”

Finding it difficult to concentrate and not cave in to another round of passion, you immediately put his head in your hands to get his attention. Motioning for him to move so you could sit up straight, readjusting the sheets over your bare chest as he rolls on to his back, clearly annoyed. Play time was over.

“Kevin, I’m serious. I know something happened. You've been distracted, almost nervous, all week. Then tonight..you were different. I can’t describe it but you know I’m right.”

Kissing your hand, he realized in this moment that honesty with you was the only way. You were his wife after all, the person he loved more than anyone and would do anything to protect. He finally sat up, back towards you, facing the wall. You waited anxiously for words to come out of his mouth.

“It’s Damien. He’s back in Chicago.”

This sentence instantly shot chills down your spine. Kevin turned around to take you in, evaluating your mental state after hearing this news. Tears welling up in your eyes.

“Bianca.”

“How is that possible? I thought...what??”

“He popped up last week. We were working the case. Burgess was under with Upton at this little hole in the wall in Pilsen and he showed up at their meet.

“Did he see her? Is she ok?”

“She’s fine babe. Kim thought she might get made so she dipped out really quickly & let Hailey finish the deal. Voight & I have had a security detail on you ever since.”

You were now panicked and obviously upset that this news was kept from you. “You’ve what?! Don’t you think that’s something I should’ve known?! Oh my God.”

You jump out of bed sheet in tow, now pacing the floor. Kevin, knowing the bombshell he’d just dropped gives you another minute to process before he’s up and off the bed behind you.

Taking your face in his hands, the deepest sincerity in his heart, “B, look at me. I will NEVER let that piece of shit touch you again. Do you hear me? I know I should’ve told you, but I didn’t want you worried, especially without me being here for so long. I gotchu... You’re safe with me.” Kissing your forehead & wiping away your tears.

“I know. I know I am. I just thought this was all over. I don’t want my mess affecting Intelligence. If anything happened to Kim or you because of my past…”

Now sobbing, Kevin wraps you in his reassuring arms, with a steely look of determination to protect his world on his face.

Morning came, and you were startled awake by the sound of Kevin’s phone ringing. You heard the shower running in the next room so you reached to answer it with a groggy hello.

“Hi Hank.”

“Bianca, how you holdin’ up kiddo?”

Hank had become like family to you rather quickly. Your case was special. Damien was a long time predator he and Al had been trying to capture for years. When Hank found you 6 years ago, beaten, bloodied and half conscious, he made it his duty to look after you, especially seeing that you had no relatives in a new city. You were there with him through it all...Justin’s disappearing acts, Al’s passing, which eventually led to you meeting and falling in love with Atwater.

“I thought he was dead. How is he back? Why is he back?”

“I’m doing everything in my power to figure that out, Bianca. Don’t you worry about this ok? We’re gonna get this prick.”

Nothing anyone said could completely reassure you in this moment, but you nodded in agreement anyway.

“Yeah...Kev’s in the shower. I’ll have him call you back.”

You hang up the phone and get out of bed, looking for something to throw on. You find an oversized hoodie of your husbands and a pair of shorts.

You exit the bedroom just as Kevin emerges from the bathroom, towel around his waist.

“Hey...I was gonna wear that today.”

Completely deadpan, “It looks better on me.”

As he walks towards the kitchen to greet you, “You’re right about that. Good morning.”

Attempting to plant a kiss on your cheek, you show zero emotion & continue to prep your cup of tea.

He shakes his head but decides to give you your space and heads to the bedroom to get dressed.

Standing at the threshold of your bedroom door, tea in hand you boldly say, “I want you to put me under.”

Kevin stops in his tracks, as if he’s spotted Bigfoot buying a Venture card on the green line. Pulling his shirt the rest of the way over his head.

“Put you under what??!”

“You know what I mean. Undercover, Kevin. You know I’m part of the reason he’s back in Chicago. He didn’t get what he wanted from me before Voight found me that night. His usual pattern was completely thrown off. I want to help. I need to help catch him.”

Kevin storms passed you in to the living room. You follow.

“HELL NO. Are you joking?! You want us to damn near put you in the hands of the man who almost took you from me, before I got a chance to have you?! Absolutely not.”

You walk towards him softly. Knowing this will be a hard battle to win, you sit in front of him on a chair as he leans against the wall.

“Baby...it’s taken years for me to feel safe in my own skin again. You did that for me. Hank looking after me, leading me to you. This life that we’ve built is the greatest gift I could’ve ever gotten. And now you’re telling me that someone is threatening what we’ve worked to create? I can’t just stand and watch while you guys, my family, puts themselves in harms way for me. I have to do something.

………

A few weeks had gone by and Intelligence still had no leads in their investigation. It was almost as if Damien Charles had never resurfaced...until the team got an alert that a young woman was found dead in an abandoned warehouse, brutally assaulted. They had no real proof, as Damien was very careful, but it was definitely his MO. Kevin was on edge and pissed at you, somehow believing that shutting you out would stop you from getting your way. Knowing your husband wouldn’t budge, you decided to go to Hank to convince him to use you as bait to catch Damien. He reluctantly obliged.

Night fell on the 21st. Upton and Burgess were prepping your phone with a tracking device while Ruzek and Halstead checked weapons and started to vest up. You were nervous, but Kim kept reminding you to take deep breaths. “We’ll be with you the whole time.”

“I know, I just wish Kevin…”

Hailey chimed in, handing you your phone, “Trust me, he’ll come around Bianca. It’s in their nature to want to protect us, but sometimes it’s up to us to take that power back ourselves.”

Kevin was upstairs in the locker room wreaking havoc on anything that wasn’t pinned down. Hank, hearing the commotion from down the hall, rushed in to see who had lost their mind.

“Kevin! Kevin!”

“How could you let her do this man?! I’m her husband! You don’t get to make that kind of decision for her.”

“Neither do you, Kev. This was her choice, do you understand? No matter how much either of us wants to catch this scumbag, she wants him gone a whole lot more. She’s stronger than you think. Now you have a choice. You either hang back, mad at the world or you gear up and back Bianca...back this team.”

Back downstairs, having settled in on the choice you’d made, “Ok, let’s do this.”

As the three of you were headed out of the room to join the others, Kevin walked in. Kim touched his shoulder in an attempt to reassure him as she walked away. You wanted to find solace in his familiar embrace, but you knew it was pointless. The walls were up. He walked towards you and you immediately noticed the tears in his eyes. “Kev…” Grabbing your hand and leaving a kiss on your frontal lobe, he quickly wiped his face and walked out to join the others.

It was a typical undercover mission, except this time, the stakes were much higher. You and Upton walked into the crowded club, dressed as if you were ready to party. The intel the team gathered tracked Damien at this same location several days in a row looking for his next victim. The rest of the team were scattered throughout the room or on surveillance outside the main entrance. This was one of those cases where justice was decided by Voight and his team, no judge or jury necessary.

You spot him almost immediately. Tapping Hailey on the arm, she reports back to the group, “We have eyes on Damien. He’s at the bar talking to a young woman.”

Hailey turns to you and for a moment, you can’t even remember your own name.

“Bianca, you ready? You good?”

“Yes. I’m ready.”

Morphing into a drunken party goer ready to have more fun, you make your way to the bar.

Halstead distracts the woman Damien is speaking to, saving her from imminent danger.

As Damien walks away, pissed that he had to ‘let that one go’ he spots you. A beautiful & familiar face. You’ve changed over the years, but a vulture never forgets its uneaten prey. You’re nervous as hell. More thoughts run through your mind than you can handle at once, but for now, you must push them aside.

No sooner than you spotted him, Damien disappeared into the crowd. You called Kim as a cover while you began to look around. “Hey girlie! I thought you were supposed to meet me tonight? I don’t see you!”

Kim responds on the other line…”Keep talking, Jay is checking the bathroom. He couldn’t have gone far.”

You spot Kevin on the stairwell on the other side of the club. Everything will be fine….

The fire alarm sounds.

Suddenly you feel a sharp pain in your neck.

A look of panic on Kevin’s face in the distance is the last thing you see as the cell phone slips from your hands.

Everything goes BLACK.

Chaos has ensued in the club. The alarm continues to blare, sprinklers shooting out water, and people running in every direction. Voight radios in as he and Ruzek are covering the perimeter, trying to calm down the frantic crowd. “Hailey, talk to me! Is everyone ok in there?!”

Kevin has bolted down the stairs, pushing his way through the crowd as he sees Damien pick you up and drag you out a backdoor. “B!! Bianca!!” It’s as if he’s trying to run in quicksand. As Kevin finally makes it to the back door, Burgess, who isn’t far behind spots your phone on the floor. She blots out after Kevin who is racing to his car. They get in, Kevin, not saying a word, speeding down the block trying not to lose you. Kim radios the team.

“Sarge, Damien has Bianca! We’re headed the wrong way down Parkside Ave in pursuit of a late model gray pick up truck. Tags are Indiana custom DG ...L16. We’re making a right on to George St. now!”

“We’re coming!! Don’t lose them!”

The high speed chase through the streets of Chicago continues as the rest of the team joins Atwater and Burgess. Atwater loses sight of the truck for what seems like an eternity. Ruzek radios Kim… “I just pulled up at the warehouse. I see the truck.”

Kevin picks up speed, gripping the wheel even tighter, “Copy that. Tell him we’re 5 mins out.”

…………………

You begin to come out of your fog. The dark room Damien has you in smells like mildew and death, yet in weird contrast, you’re lying on a mattress with fresh white sheets. Damien, not realizing that you’ve woken up, is in the corner at a table pouring wine and gathering instruments. You scan the room looking for anything to use as a weapon. Fear takes over as he walks towards the bed. You pretend to still be in a daze.

Scanning your body, then touching your face… “Wow. You’re more beautiful than I remember, darling. I’ve been waiting for this chance to be with you again.” He sits you up, started to touch you more, now looking down your shirt.

“Please, don’t…” Before you can get the words out of your mouth, his hand is around your neck. Gasping for air, tears start to stream down your face.

“DON’T act like you don’t want this! Hank Voight stole our chance at happiness years ago. And he thought he had me, but now is our time.”

As Damien leans in to connect his lips with yours, the sound of metal hitting pavement resounds in another area of the warehouse stopping him. He loosens his grip on you allowing just enough time for you to lunge for the bottle of wine and swing it hard against his skull.

“KEVIN!!!!!!” You scream, as you quickly scramble out of Damien’s grip. Racing towards the door, your realize that it’s locked from within. As you begin to pound on the door, Damien slowly starts to move closer to you. “KEVIN!!!! HANK!!! Please...down here!!”

Had the noise you heard a few minutes prior been a false alarm? Did you make a mistake? Damien’s disorientation and head gushing with blood give you time to look around the room for another way out, but nothing. With a newfound burst of energy, he lunges towards you like the madman that he is now pinning you against the wall. You fight him off with every ounce of strength you have.

BOOM!!!!!!

Moments later in true Atwater fashion, the door to your current prison swings open. Without any hesitation, Kevin grabs Damien and tosses him yards across the room. He stands over his exhausted body and begins to pummel his face like a boxing bag. Ruzek rushes in to stop him.

“Kev! Kev! We got him man! We got him.”

Snapping back to reality, Kevin turns his attention back towards you, crouched down near the door crying. Voight and the rest of Intelligence are now in the room. They stand in utter disbelief that this madness has finally come to an end.

Without saying a word, Kevin comes down to your level and begins to gently kiss every inch of your tear-filled face as if there’s healing in his touch….you’ve always known that there is.

You wrap your arms around him as he carefully lifts you up off the floor. You’ve never felt more relieved in all your life.

Voight, clearly broken up at seeing you in this state, puts a hand on Kevins shoulder. “Make sure you get her over to Med. We’ll clean up here.”

Fully leaning on your husband for support, the two of you exit the room.

………………………

Kevin hadn’t left your side since being admitted into the hospital two days ago. He was planted in the chair beside you.

“Do you need anything babe?”

Touching his cheek to reassure him, despite the IV in your arm. “I’m ok, thank you.”

Dr. Halstead walks into the room to check in. “Bianca, we got all of the test results back. The syringe he used to sedate you wasn’t contaminated, and everything else is cleared. You’ll be able to go home today.”

Kevin gets up to shake his hand. “Thank you man. Seriously, thank you.”

“Of course. Bianca take it easy ok? Try to hold off on being a hero for a while.”

With a smile, “I’ll try. Thanks Will”

Will walks out. Voight walks in.

He and Kevin hug.

“Hey Sarge.”

“How’s our patient doing?”

“I get to leave today.”

“Ok! That’s great. Oh look at those balloons.”

Kevin chuckles, “Yeah, everyone stopped by yesterday.”

Voight walks closer to the bed like a proud father and takes your hand. “I’m really proud of your kiddo.” You squeeze his hand in acknowledgement, knowing that for Voight that sentence translated into ‘I love you and I couldn’t bear it if we lost you.’

Voight starts to walk out of the room and Kevin follows.

“Yo Sarge, are we good? You know.”

“He’s gone. Forever this time. Ruzek and I took care of it for you.” With a pat on Kevin’s chest, Voight looks back at you one more time and leaves.

Kevin makes his way back into the room. You sit up a bit, still weak and reach for him.

“Everything ok?”

“Everything’s perfect, B. Everything’s perfect.”

He kisses you as if there’s no one else in the world besides the two of you. His world has been set right once again.

“Let’s get you home.”

Happy Birthday

(Kevin Atwater x Reader)

Pairings: Kevin Atwater x Reader, Adam Ruzek x Kim Burgess

“Come on girl, we’re gonna be late.” Kevin scolded as he unlocked and walked through the front door.

“Five more minutes!”

Having just finished applying lipstick, you stood in front of the mirror in your bedroom agonizing over which pair of earrings to wear.

“You don’t even have your shoes on.” Kevin entered the room, with your heels in hand, hoping to speed things along, but he was instantly staggered by the sight of his gorgeous fiance. “Well damn…” Dropping the shoes and walking towards you, forgetting all about his previous rushed state. You playfully dodge him, stooping to adjust and step into the heels he so carelessly discarded on the floor. Unrelenting, Kevin comes up behind you, arms wrapped around your waist and kissing your neck as you walk into the living room.

Finally turning around to face him, you permit him to one passionate kiss before snapping back to reality. With both hands on his chest to keep him at bay, “Kevin Atwater...stop it. Adam is going to kill you if you’re late to this dinner.

Stepping back for a moment to take you in, “I think he’ll understand.”

You burst out laughing and pushed him away, grabbing your clutch and jacket off the couch. It was never easy for you to resist Kevin, especially when he looked and smelled this good, hell, it was almost impossible. But, tonight was special for your friends and you had to be there for them.

Adam and Kim had been through a LOT over the last year and a half. It took plenty of late night gab sessions between you and Kim and tons of games of pool between Kev and Adam for the two of them to realize they were simply made for each other. Tonight, Adam just wanted to do something special for his girl with the people closest to them there to celebrate.

____

You and Kevin walked into the private room of the restaurant arm in arm to find Adam pacing back and forth.

“Ruz, you good? Cuz you don’t look too good man.”

Lightly hitting his arm as you walk over to greet Adam, “Kev leave him alone.”

Standing in front of Adam, you place your hands on his shoulders in an effort to calm him down. “Tonight will be great. Everything looks amazing.”

Kissing you on the cheek, “Thank you (Y/N). You look beautiful by the way.”

“Thanks sweetie.”

Kevin mumbles from across the room, “Yeah, we almost didn’t make it here dawg.”

You dart a glaring look at him.

“What was that man?”

“Ignore him.” You remove your jacket and assess the room to see if there’s anything you can prep before your best friend arrives.

______

The room is now filled with laughter and all of the people Kim loves. Members of Intelligence, a select few from 51, Adam’s dad, even Kim’s sister flew in.

After dinner, a waitress enters the room with a glowing birthday cake.

Adam clinks his beer bottle and stands to get everyone’s attention. Kim looks up at him adoringly, yet embarrassed, as she never knows what will fly out of his mouth.

“Hey! Everyone…”

Kevin whistles to get the room quiet for his brother as Kim removes the beer bottle from his hand, replacing it with a wine glass. The room erupts in laughter.

“Thank you darling. Ok, seriously. I just want to thank all of you for being here tonight to celebrate this beautiful woman’s birthday. All of you know that she’s been through a hell of a lot, but she’s kept going. She’s strong, she’s kind, she’s a badass...and I love her. So, everyone please raise a glass to my girl, Kimberly Burgess.”

Everyone in the room chimes in, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIM!!”

Adam leans down to plant a kiss on Kim’s lips, as you and Kevin look on like proud parents, finally seeing your children happy.

______

The room cleared out a bit as everyone said their final goodbyes. After you joyfully see Kim off with Adam, her knight in shining armor, you walk back into the room and notice Kevin, Hank and Jay in the corner. Having been with Kevin for a few years now, you knew what those faces meant. Your man was amazing at his job, it’s one of the many reasons why you fell in love, but the knot in your stomach always returned when you knew it was time for him to switch into that mode.

Further proving your theory, you overheard Voight say, “If we don’t grab this prick tonight he’s gonna blow town. We gotta move on this.”

You gathered your things and stood next to Trudy and Mouch. Hank and Jay exited the room as Kevin turned to you and walked over with an apologetic look on his face. Before he could get out one word, Platt interjected, “Don’t worry Kevin, we can take her home.”

Mouch chimed in to reassure him, “Yeah, I wanted to pass along my secret pasta recipe to (Y/N) anyway, since Trudy refuses to cook with me.” You both chuckled, knowing that that statement landed Mouch in hot water. Yanking Mouch’s ear, Trudy walked out the door, “He's gonna get the car and we’ll meet you outside (Y/N).”

“(Y/N)...I know I’m always working. I really wanted to be the one to take that dress off of you tonight. I’m sorry baby.”

“It’s ok, really. Go do what you have to do.”

Hailey reentered the room, “Hey Kev, can I roll with you back to the district? Voight and Jay went ahead.”

“I gotchu.”

Kevin held your hand as the three of you walked towards the door. The valet drove up in Kevin’s car...Hailey hopped in.

You smiled and released Kevin’s hand. “Go. By the time you get home I’ll have mastered a new recipe.”

You always did your best to put Kevin’s mind at ease before any assignment. His job was grueling, and being the woman by his side, you knew that fear for his safety came with the territory. You also knew that he couldn’t have any distractions when he was out there with his team, so hearing Randall run his mouth for 30 minutes about how he was a Master Chef was a small price to pay to ensure their safety.

Kevin planted a kiss on your forehead and walked towards the driver's side door, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

_________

The light of the dawn was about to make its appearance as Kevin unlocked the front door to the loft. He closes it lightly behind him entering the living room to find you asleep on the couch, still in your dress. He locks his gun in the closet safe, puts his keys down on the coffee table and stands there for a moment taking you in. After adjusting the blanket over you, he joins you on the couch. Still half asleep, you turn your body to face him, now nestled comfortably in his arms.

“Hi..”

“I see you still have on the dress.”

“Uh huh...just for you.” Still groggy, you look up at him, gently touching his face, willing the stress of his night to melt away. “You ok?”

He moves in closer, holding you just a little bit tighter...kissing you slowly.

“Now, I’m perfect. Go back to sleep.”

Black and Blue

Pairings: Kevin Atwater x Black Reader 

Summary: With all that’s going on in the world, I wanted to explore things from Kevin’s perspective. What’s it like for him and his family, existing on both sides of the spectrum? 

*Title inspired by one of my favorite Chicago PD eps

Attempting to soothe your 4 month pregnant and agitated stomach, you got in your cousin's face, finger pointed, rage on high.

“As much as you want to refute my choice of a life partner, Detective Kevin Atwater is the reason your dumbass isn’t in a jail cell right now...or worse.”

“So now I’m a dumbass?!”

“YES!”

“You don’t think what we’re doing out there is important?! Did you sell out when he put that ring on your finger or was it the day he wrote the down payment check for this bougie ass loft you’re livin’ in?!”

Without hesitation, you smacked Brian across the face, just as Kevin walks in to the front door. Already changed out of his riot gear, he dons his usual black hoodie, dark jeans and combat boots. He holds a beat on locking away his gun, as he’s not quite sure what he’s walking into.

“Baby, you good?”

You and Brian are still staring each other down. You finally break the silence, with gritted teeth.

“Get out of my house.”

Brian slowly backs away from you, being sure to glare disapprovingly at Kevin on his way out. Locking the door behind him, Kevin continues his routine of securing his gun as you walk over to him crying.

You weren’t quite sure if it was the adrenaline from the fight you just had with family, the worry for your husbands safety out on the currently extra dangerous streets or the pregnancy hormones, but all you wanted was Kevin’s hands on your body.

As you reached up to place your arms around his neck, he obliged and pulled you into a passionate kiss. Within seconds, your legs were wrapped around his waist as he carried you up the stairs into the bedroom, slowly lowering you on to the bed. He hovered over you, gently reaching down to kiss the remaining tears away. You removed his hoodie and proceeded to let him know just how glad you were to have him safely home in one piece.

_________

Hours later, the two of you were absently wrapped in sheets. Kevin sat up, his back against the headboard, while you laid across his lap. With one hand intertwined with his, you used the other to trace the solid ridges of his stomach.

“Y/N…”

“Hmm?” The deep sound of his voice breaking you out of a trance.

“I don’t want you to be mad at Brian.”

You sit up to turn and fully face him. The look of curiosity and annoyance growing across your brow.

“Kev...the things that he said...what he’s doing out there? You saved him tonight from the possibility of not making it back home and he couldn’t even say ‘thank you’? He’s a disrespectful little...”

“But Y/N, I get it. The way Brian grew up, hell the way we grew up, he was trained to hate people like me. Do you remember how reluctant you were to date me when you found out what I did for a living?”

“Of course. I was pissed cuz you didn’t tell me right away.”

“Exactly, but I didn’t because I wanted to make sure I had you before your opinion of me was tainted by what you thought a Chicago cop was like. Y/N, Brian never had that chance. Sure I’m married to you and by default he’s family, but that deep seeded hatred takes years to undo.”

“True, but you guys in Intelligence…”

Cutting you off with a touch to your cheek.

“We’re a rare breed baby. You know that. Just think of all that nonsense I had to fight off two years ago with Doyle’s people. They’re the majority. They’re the ones who don’t care about Brian’s life and they’re the reason why he was out there looting with that group after others protested peacefully downtown for hours. And you know good and well that if circumstances were different…”

Kevin slightly repositioned himself over you, placing light kisses on your pregnant belly.

“...if you weren’t cooking my beautiful baby girl in this sexy ass oven…”

Smirking as you playfully swatted his hand “Boy! I told you I want a boy…”

He rolled his eyes at you while further pinning you down under him. Unable to move, you gazed upon your husband as he proceeded to have a full on conversation with the child growing in your stomach. Although annoyed at the topic of his current Ted Talk, you truly loved these moments. Being black in this country was hard enough. Adding to that, your choice as a couple to stand with a foot on both sides of the spectrum of black and blue, it was a rare occasion when the love of your life was allowed to put his guard down and just be a man. You came back to reality when he purposely grazed your sensitive skin with his beard.

“Listen baby GIRL...mamas gonna try to act tough when you get out here, but I got your back, ok?

Laughing reluctantly and whining in protest and for him to move… “Stop it! That tickles!”

Kevin relented and moved up, gazing deep into your eyes. The look on his face as if he was ready to put another baby in the oven. You bit your bottom lip. As you each moved in closer for a kiss…there was a sudden urge...

“Great, now I have to pee!”

He burst into laughter as you untangled yourself from his limbs and the sheets and scurried to the bathroom.

“Shut up!”

_________

The next morning, you awoke to a text from Brian.

My bad cuz...I ain’t mean that shit.

Brian was never verbose and you knew him sending just that simple message took a lot. You were about to respond when you heard voices downstairs. You had expected Kevin to be at the District by now. He previously had a routine of waking you up before he left, no matter the hour, but that became less frequent once you got pregnant, deciding to text you his whereabouts instead. His voice ringing in your head now...

“You need to be well rested, Y/N.”

You got up, put some comfortable clothes on and went downstairs. To your surprise Kevin was sitting at the dining room table with his partner Adam and your cousin Brian. It looked like they had been planted in their seats having a heated discussion for hours. You stood in shock and then walked over to the kitchen to make some tea.

Adam was the first to break from the tense meeting, walking over to greet you with a hug and a peck on the cheek after you placed the kettle on the stove.  

“Morning, Y/N, you’re lookin’ beautiful as always.

With a chuckle, “Hey sweetie...you’ve always been such a good liar...I appreciate that.”

“I'm serious girl, you look great. I told Atwater if he acts up…”

“Hey! Hey! Hey!” Kevin yelled from the dining room as he approached. He and Ruzek were like brothers. He’d stood by Kevin’s side through it ALL, unwavering in his loyalty, so it was only natural that, as a brother, he also knew which buttons to push to irk him the most.  

Kevin punched him in the arm and Adam reciprocated with a swat to the back of Kevin’s neck. You shook your head and laughed, proceeding with the business of putting the kettle on the stove….this boyish nonsense was routine.

Both deciding there could be no winner in this moment, they finally calmed down. “Man chill out, you’re gonna upset my goddaughter.”

You immediately rolled your eyes and sighed as you grabbed your favorite mug from the cabinet. “Daughter...I see he’s gotten to you too huh?”

You darted a look at Kevin, which he avoided, clearing his throat with a  smirk.

“Adam, are you hungry?”

Walking past the guys into the dining room, you offered an olive branch to your cousin as well, who still sat at the table in deep thought, “Brian, you want anything to eat? I can make some breakfast.” He looked up at you and rose from the table. You were startled by the look of both sorrow and determination in his eyes.

“I’m good cuz.”

He gave you a quick hug and exited the apartment.

You turned to Kevin and Adam for an explanation. “What just happened?”

Kevin spoke up first.

“I called him. He was pissed when he saw Adam here at first but I needed him to get it. I wanted him to understand why I still do this job everyday. That we haven’t sold out. We haven’t abandoned our people, I’m doing this for my people. It’s hard as hell but people like Adam, Intelligence...it’s a family, and we’re doing what we can at least to make this shit a little better.”

“How did he take that?”

Adam retorted, attempting to break the awkwardness, “Well, Brian didn’t try to hit me in the face, so I guess you can say it went alright?”

You snorted. With Adam’s sarcasm and Brian’s temper, you knew that was no small feat.

“Ok man, I’m gonna head out. I’ll catch up with you at the district.” Adam pounded Kevin’s fist and made his way to the door, but not before one last jab. With a wink to you, “Bye baby…”

“Bro! Get the hell out!”

With a mischievous laugh. “What?! I was talking to my goddaughter!”

You couldn’t help but laugh too. “BYE Adam!”

Kevin walked towards you, wrapping his arms around your waist. Your hands rested lightly on his strong arms.

“How many people have you told that we’re having a little girl?”

“Not many...I mean, the people down at the 21st of course…”

Hitting his chest… “Kevin Atwater! We haven’t even officially checked yet! Such a man.”

He tilted your face up to look directly at him. “What’s wrong with me wanting a girl, Y/N? If she’s anything like her beautiful mama, she’ll be strong, graceful…” His words slowing down as he was sure to kiss your face after proclaiming each of the attributes he adored.

“...independent….smart.....beautiful.”

Per usual, you were becoming puddy in his arms. “You said that one already.”

He squeezed you tighter, hoping to stay in this moment a little while longer. Your face buried in his chest, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“For trying to make it right with Brian. For reminding me why I chose to stay with you. For reminding me how easy it was to fall in love with you even after I found out you were a cop. I’m proud of you babe.”

No sooner than the two of you became lost in eachother again, the kettle whistled loudly on the stove. Kevin moaned against your lips in protest as you wiggled away from him to take it off the stove.

Trailing right behind you, he smacked your butt and then reached for you. Longing for the comfort of your body to hold flush against his chest. You turned the stove off and allowed him to engulf you in his arms from behind. Your fingers interlocked with his as they rested comfortably on your stomach. You each looked down for a moment at your growing belly.

Neither of you discussed it often, but there was an innate fear of what it meant to birth a black child into this world. Things had changed, yes, but the cases Kevin was exposed to and the systemic racism that still existed, as obvious in more recent events, was enough to make any future parent uneasy.

One day, when Kevin found you deep in your thoughts, he reminded you that he would never let you shoulder that burden alone. You and his unborn daughter were his world. Everyday that he chose to put that badge on, he was doing so with the intention of making the world around you and for generations to come, a little bit better.

“I have to get to work.”

You turned to face him. “I know...just make sure you come back to us.”

With a kiss to your forehead and another placed softly on your lips. 

“Always. I love you.”

Masterlist

Kevin Atwater

Resurfaced 

Happy Birthday

Black and Blue

Smooth(ie)

Stay

Erik Stevens

Lights Out

A Better Man

Lights Out

Pairings: Erik Stevens X Black Reader 

Warnings: ANGST, Fluff, implied smut

Word Count: 2200

“Shit!!!” Erik yelled accompanied by a loud thud so jarring it woke you out of the first sleep you were getting in days.

You replied in a pleading, groggy whisper. “E please! You’re gonna wake the baby. What the hell are you doing anyway?”

“The power went out…and he’s already up.”

You heard your sons faint cry on the monitor and rose from your favorite armchair in the living room like a zombie to go feed, burp, change, cuddle…whichever of the nine things, if not all, that he required at this ungodly hour. You chose to nap here because Erik was PMS’ing…again. You knew raising a child with this stubborn ass man wouldn’t be easy, but lately Erik was on another level of pissing you off. His latest complaint was the fact that you babied Bakari too much.

“But he’s 4 months old E!” ...you exclaimed. He thought he should already be sleeping on his own.

You argued that you’re still breastfeeding and it’s a trek to get to him in the middle of the night. “Are you gonna start producing something more than keloids and muscles out of that chest for him instead?!”

You knew there was a root cause to Erik’s frustration, but you also knew that he needed time to express his feelings. Extra time that you didn’t have to give right now. So, for the third night in a row, he went to bed angry, while you took care of Bakari in his nursery and attempted to find peace in your comfy chair in between.

Brushing passed your husband without so much as a glance, you walk towards the hallway.

“I did that already.”

“You fed him?”

“Yeah..”

“And changed his…”

“Yes Y/N…that’s what I’m sayin, damn.

Bakari’s cries got louder by the minute.

“E…I’m exhausted. Don’t come at me with this attitude tonight ok?! I’m not beat for your shit right now.”

You make your way into your sons’ nursery and gently lift him from his crib. He’s beyond fussy but won’t latch on…not hungry. His diaper is dry…wow, Erik actually did that too. Bouncing Bakari lightly as you pace the room, you start to hum a melody hoping this will work.

“He’s hot…” Erik appeared at the door. “He’s pissed cuz there’s no air circulating. I opened the window, thought the rain would calm him down but clearly. Come on, let’s go…”

You look down to see three bags at Erik’s feet, one being an expertly packed diaper bag.

“Go where E? It’s a whole storm outside. And it’s 3AM.”

“The rain let up and it’s not windy anymore. Don’t you trust me?” You scoffed…

“Just come on girl.”

The three of you piled into Erik’s huge truck. He held the door as you secured Bakari in, choosing to sit next to him in the backseat just in case he started screaming again. Movement always helped when he was this antsy, but you were way too tired to do your usual laps around the loft to get him to sleep this time.

Erik slammed the driver’s side door, which of course scared the baby, making him scream yet again. You shot him a cold look in the rearview mirror.

“My bad.”

Addressing your son in baby talk…

“It’s okay my love…don’t cry. Daddy’s trying to take your place this week. Did he steal some of your diaper’s tonight Bakari? Is that the real reason why he was in your room?? You can tell mama…”

Erik just shook his head. Your teasing, the AC blasting and the sound of the open road actually did the trick. Bakari went from sobbing to giggling to REM sleep in no time. You didn’t bother asking Erik where you were going because, let’s be honest, you knew he wasn’t going to tell you anyway, so you decided to knock out also.

2 hours later

Erik hopped out of the truck and took the bags in to the house. He then gently took his son out of his seat before waking you up.

“Y/N…babe we’re here.”

“Are we back home?”

“Well, home for a few days yeah.”

You reluctantly took Erik’s hand as he helped you out of the car. One quick but GOOD nap wasn’t going to make you suddenly forget that you were mad at him.

“Did you remember to bring…”

“Your pump? I got everything Y/N. And whatever I didn’t pack is available here.”

Erik led you into a BEAUTIFUL beach house. Still holding Bakari, he smirked at your reaction to this surprise. Kissing you on your temple, thoroughly amused at your shocked expression…

“I’ll be right back. I’m gonna go put him down.”

You couldn’t even answer. Mesmerized by the sound of the waves crashing, you walked towards the back of the open concept house in awe. The infinity pool overlooked a beautiful pre-dawn sky and the smell of fresh air hitting your nostrils was intoxicating. Truth be told, you wanted Erik to rip your clothes off and take you right here on this patio, but you needed to suppress that urge for the time being.

He walked up behind you, slowly placing his arms around your waist. It had been days since he touched you, his unexplained mood keeping you both in your individual corners of the boxing ring that had become your home. You closed your eyes and allowed yourself to lean into him. He traced a line from your ear lobe to your shoulder with his lips. You were a goner.

“Baby…who’s house is this?”

“It’s ours.”

You turned to face him. Erik had a sly grin on his face, a sight you also hadn’t seen in a very long time. Playfully hitting his chest… “Erik stop playin’. Did you steal this house? Are the owners on vacation and coming back in the morning? What’s the deal? Should I go grab Bakari now or…?” Erik caught your hand as you pretended to walk away. He had to admit that he missed this side of you too.  

“It’s kind of an inheritance thing. T’s dumbass was gonna get rid of it. Talkin’ bout some…’N’Jadaka, I live in Wakanda, why on earth do I need a house by this polluted Californian ocean?’”

You were laughing hysterically at this point. You loved when Erik impersonated T’Challa’s accent…he was SO BAD at it. You were softening up again, dammit this man was good at getting you to let your guard down. You moved closer to him, hands on his shoulders as he bit his bottom lip….he knew that made you weak too. His hands were now roaming your hips and cheeks.

“Oh really…that’s what he said huh?”

“Yep, just like that. So, I told him, T, don’t you dare get rid of this house. It’s a family keepsake, you know. My badass wife and beautiful son deserve this house T. So here we are.”

“Here we are….”

His lips finally overtook yours. All concern for previous arguments melted away as Erik lifted your legs around his waist and carried you to a lounge chair. He then ripped your clothes off and had his way with you. Filling you almost immediately, the sound of the crashing waves was no match for the moans you released finally feeling his touch again.

A little later…

You walked back out towards the pool wrapped in a blanket to rejoin Erik who was still sprawled, bare chest and as sexy as ever on the chaise lounge. The sun had just started to rise, and you couldn’t be more grateful for this moment with your man.

Nestling back into his side, Erik’s hands found their way back to some of his favorite spots on your body.

“Is he ok?”

“Yeah, I fed him, and he went right back to sleep. I think he loves it here too.”

“Y/N, I owe you an apology.” You stayed silent, this was rare, and you didn’t want any sudden movements to make him change his mind. Erik wasn’t big on words or explanations. He covered you and Bakari like no one else could. You felt protected and loved beyond measure, but there was something about having a child that opened up a new well in Erik’s heart. You fell more and more in love with him in these last few months, which was why the difference in his recent behavior had caught you so off guard.

You sat up slightly to face him, encouraging him to continue.

“I started having dreams about my pops. At first, they were nice, we’d be chillin at the playground when I was a kid or on the courts playin’ ball. He’d be laughing with me, pushing me on a swing. I’d smile cuz I’d think about those times that I’d have with B…then the dreams got dark. My mother would appear, her eyes real dark, black…and she’d end up killing me or my father in one of the dreams. Every time she’d laugh about it and I couldn’t do anything but watch. I was stuck in the corner of the room, in that same blue hoodie I was wearing when I found my dad. She’d walk over and whisper shit like, ‘you’ll never have what we had’, ‘you can never be free’. And then I’d pop up.”

By the time he finished there were tears streaming down both of your faces. You kissed his away and held him close.

“Erik, I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“I wanted to; I just didn’t want to scare you. The first time it happened it was really late, and you were in the other room singing to Bakari. The two of you were so peaceful…so I just listened to your voice with him and that calmed me down. I had another one a few days ago. She was in our room, standing over B’s rocker, just staring at him with those dark eyes. Then she looked over at you sleeping with your hand on him. I was stuck to the damn bed, couldn’t move. That shit was so real Y/N”

“That’s why you didn’t want him in the room.”

“Yeah…I’m sorry. I just didn’t know what to do. That seemed like the most immediate solve at the time.”

You readjusted to straddle Erik’s lap. Your love language was touch and luckily you knew Erik found peace the closer you were to him. You felt his heart beating as you retraced the scars on his chest. You steadied your hand there for a minute as he continued.

“T noticed something was off with me…”, finishing the sentence in unison…

“…because he’s T.” You both laughed. You were so grateful for his family and the second chance he had been given with them, in these very moments especially.

“Anyway, his nosy ass told my auntie about the dreams, but she really helped. She reminded me that my parents really did love me, even my mother. And that the dreams were just traces of my old life of violence refusing to die. I guess because…”

“Because you don’t think you deserve this joy…a chance at real peace?”

“Yeah…” He tried to break his gaze from your loving eyes, but you wouldn’t allow it. You held his face and kissed him softly. You moved slowly, hoping that the connection of your lips to his would somehow reassure him of who he was…recharging him in some way.

“Erik Stevens. N’Jadaka. You are my king. I loved you before I knew about your past, I loved you after I found out all of the secrets you tried to hide and since you’ve made me a mother to our gift, I’ve managed to love you even more. I feel safe, adored and beautiful when I’m with you, baby. And you know what, that little boy back there already loves and adores you too. You can calm him down in minutes…you already make him laugh. I know this hasn’t been easy, but you’ve earned this happiness. Life isn’t perfect, babe. But all of that darkness is behind us now. Let me be here for you too. We have a very bright future ahead, but I need you present and here with us to enjoy it…all of you.”

“I gotchu princess. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Erik suddenly had a mischievous look in his eyes. You jumped up because you knew him all too well, but not fast enough. He started tickling you and laughing like a lunatic.

“Erik, stop! Your behind goes from 0 to a thousand in seconds!”

He pauses for a minute, getting close to your ear.

“Let’s make another baby.”

You laugh even louder now at this ridiculous notion and try to escape his arms.

“Uh huh! This birth control stays IN Mr. Stevens! Too soon…WAY too soon. I don’t love you that much.”

He chased you inside and into the bedroom. Hovering over you on this perfect king-sized bed, ready to pounce. There was no way you’d be willing to have another baby this soon, but there was absolutely no harm in practicing the latest techniques with this gorgeous man you cherished while Bakari finally slept peacefully in the other room.

A Better Man

Pairings: Erik Stevens X Black Reader

Warnings: Fluff, Angst, Implied smut, cursing

Word Count: 3241

“Sssshhh...Erik you have to stop yelling.” You pleaded with your husband as you struggled to get his oversized drunken frame through the front door.

Slurring every word, “Y/N, I DON’T CARE! These colonizers know who’s buildin’ this is!”

You shook your head and couldn’t help but smirk as Erik kicked his boots off and planted himself on the floor in the hallway like a toddler. It was LATE and you were exhausted, but you gave him a pass on this f**k boi behavior because his 35th birthday was in a few days and even though he’d never admit it, that number was messing with his head. So when the owner of the lounge called you personally to come pick him up at 1:45AM, you threw on a sweater, grabbed your keys and ran out the door.

Erik looked up from his stooper just in time to catch you undoing your bra in annoyance. “YES!!! My girls need to be free!”

“Wow…..goodnight Mr. Stevens.” Shaking your head as you walked away, he seemed to find his sea legs long enough to scurry after you, wrapping his arms around your middle and slowly creeping his hands up to ‘the girls’.

“Come on ma, let me hit. You know I sleep better after.”

His touch in this moment was making you weak, but as you turned your head to permit him a kiss, you were hit with a heavy dose of reality. Erik hadn’t drunk this heavily in a while, and the evidence of it was seeping through his pores and breath in the worst way. You turned to face him, now keeping him at arm's length.

“UGH...nigga let you hit?! I love you, but the last time we tried to have sex when you were this drunk, you fell asleep in me, during said process. Uh huh...nope, not tonight. The girls will be all yours tomorrow.”

The next morning you awoke to find Erik still fully clothed, knocked and snoring on the chaise lounge in your walk-in closet. He still smelled, but you were grateful for the fact that he wasn’t too drunk to remember how you felt about outside clothes on the bed. You kissed him on his forehead, got dressed and started making calls. You were throwing him a birthday party that night at the house. You had to confirm food drop offs with the caterers, pick up some balloons and grab one final gift to surprise him with the next day. His training made him really hard to surprise, but you knew he wouldn’t be expecting this.

You heard the shower turn off as you walked back into the house from your excursion. “Erik!” You hollered putting bags and what seemed like 100 balloons in a corner, making your way upstairs to the bedroom.  “Kia and Shuri will be here in a few hours to help me set up. I’m gonna need you out of here soo…”

Your words trailed off as your ebony Adonis emerged from the bathroom, towel low on his hips, scars glistening on his chest. He knew his power over you and now you were the one intoxicated. He raised an eyebrow as he slinked over to you ever so slowly, you, still frozen, allowing him access to begin undressing you without much of a fight.

“You were sayin’ somethin’?”

“Baby...I have so much to get done for the party.”

“I remember you saying that these right here were all...mine...today.” He started to pepper kisses across your chest and conveniently dropped his towel to the floor. Every task on your list quickly faded into the background. He was the soon to be birthday boy afterall. Who were you to deny him this gift?

-------

The house was filled with laughter and music. You sat on Erik’s lap with his arm wrapped snug around your waist as he and some of his boys laughed about stories from their days at MIT. You knew the majority of the people there, Erik always kept a tight circle. But there was one guy, Malik, from his days in foster care that he recently reconnected with that hadn’t made your acquaintance. He was mostly quiet throughout the night, sometimes too quiet, but you chalked that up to how he was raised. Knowing what your husband went through, bouncing from house to house, no one really caring if he lived or died, you always had a soft spot for the people he bonded with during those years, and Malik was one of them.

T’Challa walked over to the rowdy bunch in his usual stoic way, hiding something behind his back. Nakia stood next to him, beaming from ear to ear.

“Pardon me Y/N, gentlemen, but N’Jadaka, I have something that might interest you.” He revealed a black velvet cigar box with the word “Daka” embroidered on the top in gold. It was rare to shock this man, it was even more rare for T’Challa to pull a reaction from Erik that wasn’t sarcastic or flippant.

“Yooooo, T! You wild out man!”

Turning to you as Erik stood up, “Is that a good thing?”

Before you could reply, Shuri belted out a laugh from across the room and said, “Oh brotha! That’s a VERY good thing!”

Erik hugged T’Challa, which was enough to bring a tear to your eye, as the men clamoured for access to a cigar as they walked out on the balcony to light one and commemorate the occasion.

You and Nakia locked arms and laughed at the group as they ran outside as if hiding a porno tape from their mothers.

Turning to her, “Should I ask where you got those?”

“Let’s just say, they once belonged to a very bad man with many items that needed to be confiscated for...archiving. And now they have been gifted to a better man to celebrate his life and the passage of time.”

“Riiight. Well thank you, for everything. I really appreciate you guys. He’s been so down lately. I couldn’t have done this without your help. I’m gonna go get the cake ready while they’re out there.”

Walking towards the kitchen, you noticed Shuri trying to hide behind a few other guests that were deep in conversation in the dining room. Pausing, you didn’t even have to walk her way to know what she was up to.

“Shuri! Put that drink down right now!”

“Awww, Y/N come on! I thought we were cool. I just want a taste of this good American stuff.”

“Girl, your mother will kill me! Put it down and go find the candles for the cake.”

She stomped over to you and you grabbed her in a tight hug.

“You’re no fun, Y/N.”

“I love you too.”

You walked into the kitchen dancing and singing to yourself. “Tell Me” by Groove Theory was now playing through the speakers Erik insisted you guys have installed when you first brought the place. A few of the guests trickled out of the room as Erik’s friend Malik followed you in.

“Tell me if you want me to, give you all my time. I wanna make it GOOD FOR YOUUU!!!!”

You grabbed some plates and napkins from the cabinet and turned mid groove to find Malik standing a little too close. He was taller than your husband but his facial features were no comparison. Let’s be real, not many faces could compare.

“Oh my bad. I didn’t mean to scare you...I was just lookin’ for a garbage. Y’all recycle?”

“Yep, uuh, right there by the door.”

“Cool cool.” Walking over to discard his beer bottle, he turned back around and extended a hand to you. “Malik.”

Switching the plates to your left hand, you extended yours to shake his. “I know. Erik told me about you. He said you guys were like brothers growing up.”

“Yeah, that’s my dawg.” Licking his lips and taking you in a little too intensely, he continued his thought. “We always liked to share things when we were comin’ up.”

You snatched your hand back as Shuri walked in with the candles in hand, dancing to herself.

“Y/N, you have to make me a playlist of these songs for the lab!”

“I will, I promise.”

You walked towards her, grateful to your God and Bast that Shuri’s timing was so impeccable. As you handed her the other items and took the cake from the counter, Malik touched your butt and quickly left the kitchen.

Did he just grab my ASS?!

No, no, he didn’t, he couldn’t!

That nigga just grabbed by ASS!!

You stormed out of the kitchen ready to raise hell, but as soon as you did, a smiling Erik black man jogged towards you and greeted you with a kiss on the cheek.

“You good babe?”

Hands on his chest, gazing in to his bright eyes full of happiness and peace for the first time in a while, there was no way you could ruin this night.

“Yeah, yeah sweetie I’m ok. I was just looking for the candles that’s all. You ready for your cake?”

Nestling his face in your neck as he replied, leaving a wet kiss. “As long as I can have the rest of my dessert later.”

You giggled as his facial hair grazed your skin and planted a passionate kiss on his lips. You hoped that Malik was somewhere watching, being reminded of who the hell your man was and the imminent danger his life was in if he EVER decided to touch you again.

-------

“Aight aight, enough of this terrible singing...blow out the candles man!” One of Erik’s college friends yelled, causing everyone to erupt in laughter. Erik obliged and everyone cheered. He found his way right back to you, engulfing you in his embrace from behind.

“I wanna thank y’all for coming tonight, for real. To have everyone I care about in the same room celebrating me, it’s just, yeah…...I especially wanna thank my princess, my QUEEN who pulled this off without breaking a sweat. I love you, Y/N.”

Turning to face your man, you couldn’t stop cheesing, caressing his dimpled cheeks as he pecked your lips repeatedly.

“Damn, I guess this is what happens when a nigga gets old. Got me all emotional and shit! Shuri, turn that music back up!”

-------

The house had finally cleared of most guests, finally allowing you to put your fuzzy slippers on. You were saying your final goodbyes to T’Challa, Nakia, Shuri.

“Are you sure you don’t need Shuri to help you stay and clean up?” T joked as they walked towards the door.

“Haha! No it’s ok, really. There’s not much more to do. Thank you again. You really made his night.”

“It was our pleasure, Y/N.”

“Make sure you stop by before you head back to Wakanda.”

You closed the door and the newfound silence of your apartment caused you to immediately flash back to that moment in the kitchen with Malik. You had to make sure it got dealt with, but not tonight.

You walked out on the balcony to take in the night air. The life of a hostess was not easy and fatigue was hitting you like a ton of bricks. Out of nowhere, a massive hand smacked you on the butt, scaring the crap out of you. You turned to see it was Erik and not the filth who had violated your space earlier.

“Why you so jumpy girl?”

Attempting to gather yourself quickly and avoid his gaze, you brushed past him and went back into the living room. But as always, he was hot on your heels.

“I’m not E, damn! You just...I thought you were upstairs.”

“You only call me E when you’re annoyed at something or pissed at me, so what’s up?”

“Nothing ERIK, nothing. You’re just always on your sleath shit moving around this house and I wasn’t ready. I’m just tired, baby, that’s all.” Walking towards the steps, you prayed that was enough to hold him off for a bit.

“I’m gonna go change clothes. I left the cake on the counter if you want another slice. Cuz I know you want another slice.”

Whew! Home free, at least for now. You knew your nightly routine would at least give you some time away from him to think. Of course you’d tell him, eventually, but you knew Erik’s past too well to pretend that you weren’t fearful of what he’d do. You’d never be able to erase the sound of the guy's jaw breaking because he put his hands on you at the club when you first started dating. Or the time he threatened your old boss's life and family for overworking his ‘princess’ when you started having panic attacks because of your job. You weren’t at all scared of him, but you were scared of how this news would set him back.

You emerged from the bathroom, fresh faced and wearing Erik’s shirt, to find him perched on the corner of your enormous bed, cake in hand and staring at you. You playfully walked towards him planting yourself in between his legs.

“Can I have a piece?”

“Not until you tell me what’s wrong.”

“I’ll just go get my own.”

“I ate it all before I came upstairs.”

“You better be lying.”

He wasn’t budging and you could tell his patience was starting to wane.

“Fine! Since you refuse to drop this.” You hesitated, backing away from him, bracing yourself for impact, but quickly decided to go another route. You walked to the closet and grabbed a small gift wrapped box from where you kept your extra tampons. He joked with you once that he’d be willing to buy them for you, but after that, you were on your own.

“I made us reservations for tomorrow night. I was going to give this to you then, but you’re so impatient.”

You handed over the box with a huge smile on your face, the giddiness now starting to set in.

Erik looked down at the box and back towards you, rubbing your thigh slowly.

“Well, open, open!”

He chuckled, finding your sudden excitement amusing. “Oh I’m the impatient one?”

He finally opened the box and pulled out a black dog tag necklace with the word ‘Baba’ inscribed on one side and a fingerprint on the other. Erik stared at the necklace in awe. When he finally looked up, he had tears in his eyes, which always made you full on cry.

“Happy Birthday! I’m pregnant. This is your father's fingerprint. I had Nakia do some digging to…”

Before you could get another word out, Erik’s lips were attached to yours. He lifted you off your feet bridal style and placed you on the bed as if moving too fast would break you. Erik made love to you as if it were the first time. Covering every inch of your body with attention to make sure you knew how appreciative he was of the best gift he could have ever asked for.

-------

You laid on your husband's chest, tracing his scars while his fingers made lazy circles along your stomach.

“How long have you known?”

“A few weeks.”

“Damn, I must’ve really been out of it.”

You smiled because him admitting it meant he was finally back.

“E…” You sat up, gathering the sheet around yourself to face him.

“What’s up?”

“Is it hot in here? Wow, i’m sweating.” You jumped up suddenly wrapped in the sheet to go open the window. Now pacing…Erik sat up fully and gave you a minute to process whatever the hell you refused to spit out from earlier.

“Y/N, talk to me.”

“Ok, Erik, listen. Before I tell you anything, I want you to remember that you’re about to be a father. And before I needed you but now it’s your family that needs you. You hear the difference there? We’re a family. And I have a doctors appointment tomorrow afternoon so now that you know I want you to come so you can meet the doctor and get used to…”

In his usual sleath-like manor, Erik had hoped out of bed to stop you from pacing. Once you finally turned around, you were face to chest with him. He lightly grabbed your chin and raised an inquisitive brow. You took a deep breath and finally blurted it out! By the time you finished recounting the story, Erik’s jaw was locked and his body frozen. At this point, you were sitting on the edge of the bed because, exhaustion.

“....I didn’t say anything earlier because you were so happy. Baby I hadn’t heard your laugh in such a long time. I also know how close the two of you used to be. I’m so sorry.”

Hearing that brought your husband back out of his daze. He knelt in front of you making sure your eyes were locked with his.

“Y/N, listen to me. You have nothing to be sorry for, do you hear me? You’re my whole world..” Touching your stomach, “Tonight you’ve managed to make that world even better. That nigga violated my trust and made you feel less than in your own body, in our house...f**k no.”

Erik was eerily calm. The man you knew would’ve been dressed at the part of the story with the handshake and in front of Malik’s house with you on speaker by the time you said, “...touched by ass.”

Instead, with a kiss to your forehead, he made the choice to lay back down. “It’s all good baby, let’s get some sleep.”

-------

The next day you awoke to an empty bed. You got dressed quickly and headed downstairs to find Erik in the kitchen making breakfast.

“Good morning beautiful.”

This was always one of your favorite sights. You stood behind him, wrapping him in a hug while he plated the cheese eggs and breathed him in.

“It’s your birthday Erik. I should be cooking for you.”

“Please...besides your doctor called and had to push your appointment up by an hour so eat up quick! I don’t wanna be late.”

You watched him run upstairs, still wondering who the hell this new guy was and what he did with Erik “the colonizers can kiss mine” Stevens.

He came back down, keys in hand, dog tag on next to his father's ring, sneakers and glasses on. Damn you loved when he wore those glasses. That’s probably how you got pregnant in the first place.

“You ready?”

“Yeah…” You put your plate in the dishwasher and grabbed your bag, walking towards the hallway with him.

“Baby? About our conversation last night. You’re not gonna do anything crazy are you?”

“Oh, you mean Malk?”

“Yes, Erik, that’s what I'm talking about”

“It’s already handled.”

“Erik...what did you do?! Didn’t we discuss this? FAMILY. BABY. Us NEEDING you to not get locked up or worse.”

“Relax, Y/N. I didn’t do anything personally.”

You breathed a small sigh of relief, but he wasn’t quite done. “...let’s just say no one will see him anywhere, EVER...AGAIN.”

“E! You can’t just go offing people at every whim, even if you do hire someone else to take care of it for you. That’s not what I meant.”

“Baby steps, ma. Baby steps.”

Smooth(ie)

*Inspired by this image 😍 he posted a while ago & the fact that I literally got my blender in the mail this morning lol ENJOY!

It was the start of a beautiful spring day, and once again, you were sitting at the island mesmerized by the man maneuvering in your kitchen. When you’d first met Kevin, he pretended that your apartment was on the same route as his daily run. He later admitted that he changed his route in hopes to see you more often...and it worked. Now, in a full-fledged relationship for the past 10 months, he ends his workout 3 times a week at your doorstep and takes over your kitchen and Ninja to make a smoothie you can’t seem to function without.

He’s a morning person and you’re the direct opposite, so you’re always grateful that he doesn’t make a fuss. He just shows up, glistening from an intense workout, usually in some sleeveless black tee and makes you want to risk it all right on this kitchen counter before the day officially begins.

“Baby, hellooo...you gon’ stop staring at my arms long enough to try this?”

Kev’s hand was extended towards you with a piece of some exotic looking fruit he wanted you to taste.

CRAP, caught. “I was not…”

With a smirk on his face. “Yeah...ok.”

“What is this?”

“Just try it.”

You oblige and take a bite, juice almost immediately running down your chin.

“Ok detective...I like it.”

Before you can grab a paper towel to wipe your face, Kevin has made his way in front of you to slowly lick the juice from your chin. Boxing you in place on the barstool with his arms on each side, staring into your eyes. Not beat for the wait, you grab his face and move in to finally connect with those lips. Kissing him feels like all the energy boosts, caffeine and vitamins you’ll ever need.

“I like these better though.” You whisper as you continue to graze his lips.

“Uh huh beautiful…” He says as he reluctantly walks away to pour your respective smoothies into glasses. “I told you I have a case.”

He hands you the glass and walks towards your balcony to sit outside. This was also a part of the routine. He’d sit out here under the guise of not ruining your couch with his funk, but you knew it was his attempt to wake you up by blasting you with the morning sun. You pretended to hate it at first, but you honestly cherished these mornings with him. He’d talk about the craziness he’d seen at work the night before, the stress and how he sometimes couldn’t sleep. You’d fallen in love with him because of this vulnerable side.

Feet up and nestled next to him on the chair.

“Voight loves me Kev, I think he’ll be perfectly fine with me calling out for you today.”

“He does love you...which isn’t easy to achieve...but hell no. He’d send Ruz right to your door to come get me.”

You both chuckled thinking back to the night that very thing happened a few months ago.

“How long this time?” You began to pick at the fabric on your sweater as a distraction...you always hated the answer to this question.

“A month….....in New York.”

You sit up to face him, trying to hide the sirens of shock and concern currently going off in your brain. As calm as you can pretend to be, “What’s in New York?”

“I’ll be working with Lindsay out there undercover on a case. But Ruz will be checking in on you here ok?”

“He’s not going with you? I always feel better knowing he has your back out there.”

“I know babe. But Erin is a badass too now...I’ll be fine.”

You hear your phone ringing inside, breaking the moment. You grab the empty glasses from the table before walking back in, wiping a tear that you hope Kevin didn’t notice was about to fall.

“I promise you baby, the month will be over before you know it!” You hear Kev yell as you search for your phone. You find it in the other room and wonder when you could’ve put it there.

Kim Burgess/FaceTime: you take a breath and decide to answer.

“Hey Kim.”

“Y/N...you ok?”

Holding back tears…. “Uh huh, yeah I’m fine. Kev just told me about New York. Why can’t Adam go instead?”

You both pause to look at each other and simultaneously reply…. “LOOSE CANON”, which cheers you up for a moment.

“And you know Voight trusts Kev. It’ll be great for his career too.”

“I know I know.”

“Is he there? I need to ask him something really quick and he didn’t answer my text earlier.”

“Yeah he's outside one second.”

You walk back out to the living room to find Kevin facing you from the balcony on one knee holding a gorgeous diamond ring. You stop in your tracks, as Adam appears on the screen next to Kim whistling like he’s at a hockey game.

“Ha! It worked! Go Kev!!!!”

Kim elbows Adam “Hush! Y/N, we love you guys.”

Standing directly in front of your boyfriend, still in shock, Kevin takes the phone from your hand and addresses the excited pair on the other end.

“Thanks y’all.”

Adam, of course...“Wait man, leave us on speaker. Don’t  we deserve to hear the speech?”

Kim laughs as she disconnects the call.

After putting your phone down, Kevin grabs your hand and traces gentle circles on it with his thumb as he begins to speak.

“Y/N. I love you so deep I don’t even want to think about how empty my heart felt before you. I fight harder to survive out there because of you. I don’t care how grumpy you are in the morning, or how big these sweaters get that you put on when I wake you up...I want this with you every single day for the rest of our lives. Baby, will you marry me?”

With a face full of tears, you drop to your knees and crash into Kevin’s lips.

Breaking the kiss, he’s cheesing with the most adorable boyish look in his eyes. “Is that a yes??”

“YES. Yes of course!” Your hands are shaking so much he can barely get the ring on.

“I love you.”

I just wanna walk around in his clothes all day until he comes home & makes me take them off 😩

LaRoyce look like he was ready for them to yell “CUT!” 😂😒🤣

I’m tired of writing you. I want to feel you.

I’m tired of just reading you. I want to experience you.

Your facial hair tickling my neck, making me forget why I was annoyed with you in the first place. Your broad chest and strong arms allowing me to silently cry in to you after a long day. Your lips telling me that you’ve got me & “everything will be ok”. Your lips…everywhere.

It’s impossible being a romantic, but the possibility of our love awakens something in me.

I love you, baby. Now hurry up and get here already.🖤