Safe Royed - Tumblr Posts
Inaccurate quotes for this fic specifically; https://archiveofourown.org/works/13980036/chapters/32186445
( Fuck me, you, and the military)
Al - Stop threatening and saying you hate the military! You ARE the military now!
Ed - I can hate both me AND the military thank you very much.
( Mechanic lesbians )
Ed - god this is gross…
Winry - oh please. It’s not like I’m sharing my wife with you
Ed - yeah well in that case, I’m not paying child support.
Winry - I’m not telling you to. I’m telling you to lend a hand, if you’re not even going to help what are you going to do?
Ed - I’ll be the uncle who teaches them swears and how to fuck with the military.
Winry - oh for fucks sake…
Ed, a stupid asshole - who’s ‘fuck’ and whys it for his sake?
( I’m an atheist, I say fist fighting God )
Ed - why the fuck would I believe in god?
Person, maybe a bit offended- why wouldn’t I?
Ed - no no, I said why would I believe in god, you can believe in Santa Claus if you want.
Ishvalan people mistaking Ed as a ghurayb - please come in! Be apart of our family
Ed, confused, flustered and probably thinking about running- uh, no? I’m not- no thanks?-
Ishvalan people - do you want a wife or three?
( RoyEd , ((MockCharm? RiotFire? BaitFire? I would say RebleFire but that’s taken) Bring back cool ship names)
Roy - *kisses Ed’s hand* my prince, I shall fight for you
* Trips and lands face first into the concrete *
Ed - I admire your skills but you don’t need to fight the whole earth for me bastard
Riza/Winry - you’re smiling, did something good happen?
Ed - can’t I just smile because I feel like it?
Al - Roy tripped and fell in the parking lot.
Ed - I fell-
Roy - from heaven?
Ed - no, I fell d-
Roy- in love with me the moment you saw me
Ed- MY ARM IS BROKEN YOU DONKEY FACED CABAGE
Roy - ok but do you think I’m pretty?
(idfk, wobble de gong suckle my dong)
Ed - Everything hurts and I’m tired
Al - I wish we could block people in real life…
Riza - Restraining order
Ed - Murder
Roy - Fuck
Al - Language!
Winry - shit!
Al - Language!
Ed - Go Fuck yourself you piss eyed dick nip! You Rat ass (some vegetable in ishvalan) bitch!
Al - Language…
Maes (child filter) Hughes - who the frick frack, flip flap, tic tac, man?
Al - …
Al - what the fuck…