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Sam’s Advice #1

Alright, so apparently there are people in the world whom need some advice, and decided that it’d be a good idea to come to me. But I suppose that I’ll grace you all with my wisdom. First letter I’ve got here is from Anonymous:

Dear advice columnist (that is really just fucking Sam),

I've known this guy for quite a while now and I really like him, I just feel like we never have the right time or moment for me to make a move of some sort. Also sometimes he acts strangely, as if he doesn't know me all that well. What can I do to become closer to him and see if he likes me?

Well, Ro- I mean “Anonymous,” I’m going to take a guess and say that you both know each other pretty well already. So really, you just need to tell Ze- the guy how you feel and figure out how he feels, you need to wait for that right moment.

Just like a writer waiting for THE RIGHT words to write something (breaking down the fourth wall and calling out the blogger), or a photographer needs THE RIGHT scenery to take a picture.

I totally get it. I mean, waiting for wind to blow the trees leaves just right, or for every strand of my model’s hair to be just right, or when I’m taking pictures at the zoo then for the animals to get in the right positions-

If I wanted for the right time to take a picture, I would be living in a box on the side of the road while other photographers, real photographers, seized all of the opportunities that I passed up in sake of waiting for perfection.

Take charge of the situation and make it the right moment, before someone else does. As much as I hate having to type out this cheesy shit, if you keep waiting for the right moment, you will become an old woman or man living alone while children are throwing eggs at your house. And making the moment right would make your confession much more memorable. For all you know, this mystery man may be acting strangely because he likes you back and is also waiting for the right moment that neither of you are willing to create.

So in short, get your head out of your ass and do something about your feelings.

This has been a session of Sam’s Advice with your favorite asshole, Samuel Raegan.

// Ask Sam for advice! But not for legitimate advice. Sam is a bit of an ass and this is solely for comedic purposes.