Screaming And Crying And Throwing Up - Tumblr Posts
healing comes in small doses (v): fevers and proposals
pairing: boyfriend! kim mingyu x afab! reader
healing comes in small doses masterlist
synopsis: in which mingyu asks you a question in the worst timing possible.
w.c: 2,253
tags: npr, non idol!au, established relationship, gendered terms, terms of endearment (baby, babe), soft mingyu, fluff, sick!mingyu, mentions of sickness, discussions of marriage, mingyu is whipped--down bad
warnings: none that i am aware of, please let me know if i missed anything!
***Takes place before they got married and had Seo Ah!
a/n: partly inspired by Stupid in Love by MAX ft. Yunjin <3 I feel like Mingyu is the type to blurt out something when overwhelmed tehee.
as always, i thrive on tags, reblogs, and comments!<3
It’s a beautiful night out, right when the snow begins to thaw to welcome the warmth of spring. It may be cold, but Mingyu couldn’t care less. He’s warmer than he’s ever been with you. You’d argue that its his fever and scold him for convincing you that he needs fresh air and a walk—not tucked snugly in his sheets like you told him to. He thinks you feel the same as he does though, content to sit on a damp bench in the middle of the quaint little park in your neighborhood. Your hands are tucked into your pockets, no doubt cradling the hot packs you picked up from the mini stop. There’s a paper cup of streaming tea on his hand while your own hot drink is settled beside you.
Mingyu can’t remember what you both were laughing about. Maybe it’s his fever-induced brain or maybe its really just how he’s overwhelmed with a wave of adoration that fills his lungs, fogs his brain, and tingles to his fingertips that he just has to be touching you somehow. A cool mist escapes his lips as he breathes with stars in his eyes.
Marry me, please.
Your giggles abruptly stop and there’s that faraway look in your eyes. Your own sudden contemplation startles him that his browns furrow in concern. Did he say something stupid? Were you distracted? Did something cross your mind? Did you suddenly see someone from across the street?
“Marry you?” you quietly ask.
The question gives Mingyu a whiplash. So, he did say something stupid. No , it wasn’t stupid but he did say something out loud that was only meant for him to hear—for now. You bear no readable reaction, unlike your boyfriend who’s expressive and predictable. It makes him panic, makes him feel the sudden cold, and churns his stomach uncomfortably.
“Uh…yeah,” Mingyu says lamely.
You’re pursing your lips and it worries him. He’s terribly scared that he frightened you, pressured you. He knows this was a heavy topic for you. Especially, after your last boyfriend had intentions of marrying you—but after you had extensively questioned him, you had decided you were not in the same page. It was not as if you had made these decisions of dating so carelessly that you wouldn’t follow through with them. Mingyu learned during his one-sided pining of you that you had an intense self-preservation instinct that would often times show that you could take care of yourself than anyone can. So, when your ex-boyfriend did not meet all the difficult conversations and expectations with something as serious as marriage—you decided that as much as you loved the potential of your ex, he simply could not provide you the life you could better provide for yourself. Not only were you left broken hearted by the whole ordeal, but your ex managed to rub salt to the wounds by telling you that your standards were unrealistic and that men can only do so much that you should just suck it up. You often griped about it to Mingyu on your failed dates or on nights where you wondered whether you should have given your ex a chance when he was only half ready.
Mingyu was thankful you never gave in though, because once he was sure you were ready and open to the idea of dating again—he confessed, you accepted.
Your independency was a force to be reckoned with, it was Mingyu’s only competition when he finally decides to pursue you. And here you were now, a year and a half later into dating.
Mingyu had known you long enough and well enough to have resolved in himself that you were whom he wanted to marry.
Yet due to your own evident issues from your last relationship and the nature of your own family’s dynamic, he decides to let the conversation of marriage come naturally and comfortably in its own time.
Definitely not this soon though.
He watches you apprehensively as you reach for your cup and take a sip, expression unreadable as ever. Your lips curl into a crooked smile but it’s what you say that takes him aback.
“Sure, babe, how do you feel about a civil wedding? You still have the number of…Judge what’s-his-name? That one senior in high school with the buzzcut?”
Your tone was amused, mischievous but Mingyu easily falls into the light cadence of the topic.
“You mean Park Ji Sung? Yeah, I think I have his email somewhere.” Mingyu frowns, “But baby, I want to see you in a wedding dress, and walk down the aisle.”
“Of course,” you smile, “We can do that.”
“You’re going to look so beautiful.”
You chuckle at his dreamy sigh, “Who are we inviting?”
Mingyu’s shifting in his seat to face you with an enamored grin, “What if I told you I don’t really want to think about the guest list?”
Raising a brow, you turn to face him too, “You mean you just want to get married? That’s it?”
Mingyu nods, grin bright under the lamp post’s dim light. You laugh leaning against his forearm stretched at the back of the bench, “Okay…then what?”
Your boyfriend mirrors your movement, tilting his head to rest on his shoulder, his warm puffs of breath caressing your face.
“Cake from Mrs. Boo.”
“But I want chicken from Mrs. Kwon’s too.”
“Done deal.”
“Then what?”
“We’ll have our honeymoon of course.”
“Where?”
“Hm…somewhere warm but somewhere with art galleries or a museum. I know how much you enjoy those.”
Your cheeks turn pink, and he wants to think its because of him, not the cold, “I’d take you to the local gardens and markets too. You’d look so beautiful in those sundresses you keep in the back of your closet.”
Flustered, you huff out a giggle, “Sounds like you’re thinking of somewhere around Europe.”
“Exactly. You’re so smart, this is why I love you,” Mingyu affectionately rubs your chin. “How do you feel about a one-way ticket to Italy?”
You roll your eyes albeit amused, “How about our visa? The paperwork? We’re going to get deported.”
It’s something he was sure you would think of. That’s why he was surprised you even took part in this conversation so lightly. It was in your nature, to think ahead, plan ahead, and be thorough. It was a trait of yours he’s proven time and time again he could do for you.
Mingyu smiles tenderly, eyes glazing over in a haze of adoration. He knows what he’ll say next would probably worry you, turn the conversation sour, but he has faith you know him well enough to tell that he’s sincere. It was the truth after all, so he tells you.
“If I said that I didn’t think of that part through? That I’m just so stupidly in love with you, it wouldn’t matter where we were as long as I married you.”
Your gaze softens to something unreadable, but not the enigmatic one like earlier. You just seemed to drift far off into his eyes, and you kiss the palm resting on your cold cheek that easily warms at his admission.
“Of course, you would, Gyu. I’m so in love with you too.”
His eyes wrinkle adorably and he lets out that quiet giggle you adore before he leans forward to kiss your forehead. Earlier, he had been adamant about not kissing you on the lips in fear that you’d catch his sickness. It results in his pouts and damp mood to not be able to kiss you but hey, you still dote on him so sweetly while he’s sick so he supposes it’s not so bad.
The warmth of his skin must have reminded you of his condition that you pat his thigh, before standing up.
“Your fever…we should go,” you gently suggest, “You need lots of sleep, mister.”
Suddenly, whatever butterflies he’s been feeling in his stomach about the whole conversation of future with you turn into bats of terror. Mingyu wordlessly stands up, stiffly taking your cups to dispose into a bin. He’s dragging his feet a little while he follows you to the flat. Watching you from his periphery as you tuck your chin into your puffer jacket.
Did you just entertain him? Did you think this was all his fever induced babbling? Did you not take him seriously?
You probably did. And he doesn’t know which stings more—the fact that you were probably not serious about it or that you abandoned your stand to give into his musings because he was sick.
His steps unconsciously slow down to a stop just before you round the corner leading to the building of your flat.
Maybe it was his fever that makes him easily vulnerable but he can’t help it—you’ve always easily tugged at his heart strings into so many different emotions.
Sensing that something was amiss with your boyfriend, you turn around to face him. Mingyu is sure he probably looks like a kicked puppy with the way your brows raise in question before they furrow in worry.
“Gyu? Is everything alri-“
“If I asked you to marry me, would you accept?” he blurts out. This was no place to have conversations like this but he feels he could cry once the thought of you not seeing a future with him crosses his mind.
Hell, he might be teary eyed now if the way you hurriedly rush to him to reach up and cup his face is anything to go by. Your eyes are wide when you tilt his head to look at you properly.
“Oh, Gyu,” you murmur softly before rising on your tippy toes, pulling him by the neck to your embrace. “Did you think I was just messing around?”
Slouching, he shyly nods against the crook of your neck while he draws you closer.
“Oh baby,” you sigh, rubbing comforting circles across his broad shoulders.
He feels pathetic, worried you’d think he was manipulating you just because he was too sick to regulate his emotions and expressions. But the thought of a future without you just makes him hollow with longing. He’d rather rip the band aid now than agonize over it before you were ready to have an actual discussion over it.
“I didn’t mean to bring it up now,” he mumbles into your skin, too embarrassed to face you, “I mean I-..I did think about it. It is something I want with you. I just didn’t realize I said it out loud and now I-…I know how you feel about these topics. I know you want to be thorough, sure and secure when it comes to discussions like this. I wanted to wait for you to be comfortable enough to bring it up but my stupid mouth just---I’m sorry. Please, the last thing I want for you is to feel uncomfortable and pressured—please, don’t-“
“Mingyu, baby,” you stop his rambling once you catch on to what he’s trying to say. “Can you look at me?”
Mingyu’s hesitant to leave the safety of your embrace but after a deep breath, he slowly pulls his face away from your neck. Gently, you cradle his jaw, gazing up at him tenderly.
“I’m sorry if I came off inattentive because you were right when you said that I am very serious about… these kinds of topics.” Stroking the skin beneath his eyes, you continue, “But I meant every thing I said…well except for agreeing with the one-way ticket though.”
Mingyu lets out a raspy laugh, leaning into your palms.
“And I meant it too, when I said I am so in love you, Gyu,” you smile, your own eyes shining with unshed tears, “You make me feel so excited talking about a future with you. I have never felt so comfortable talking about it freely like we did a while ago.”
Your admission makes him want to cry, but he forces himself not to. Because he hasn’t proposed yet—yes, he made a separate savings account for a future with you but he shouldn’t cry—he hasn’t proposed yet, he hasn’t---
You sniffle and smile, tucking your thumb into the sleeve of your jacket to wipe away the tear that escapes the corner of his eye.
“Stop,” you whine, “The happy tears should be for the actual engagement, no?”
Mingyu lets out his happy giggles and nods, speechless and overwhelmed with relief that you—the girl of his dreams, the girl he pined for so long, the girl he worked hard for to prove that he loved you so much he’d care for you in ways you never thought of—wanted a future with him.
He squeezes you into his chest, lifting you off your feet as he swings you from side to side. Your soft laughs rise into the air and he momentarily forgets about his stubborn decision to not kiss your lips while he’s sick. He’s so drunk in love that he dips his head to capture your lips in a passionate kiss. You don’t protest, smiling against him and curling your fingers into his hair.
Mingyu pulls away just slightly, his warmed skin and breaths caressing the cold tip of your nose, “But baby, you didn’t answer my question though.”
If I asked you to marry me, would you accept?
You grin in mischief, “Well, we’ll just have to see when you ask, hm?”
But the bright twinkle in your eyes tells him your answer anyway.
a/n: please remember that proposals are surprises but the idea of getting married shouldn't be a surprise. anyhow, i may have projected a bit to kghkfjd. Nevertheless, I hope you enjoyed this short installment! Comment if you want to be added to the taglist <3
i see your “stede did ed’s hair and beard bows for the ep 5 party” and raise you “frenchie did ed’s hair for the ep 5 party in the crew quarters and then sent him off, and he stepped onto the main deck from one end of the ship at the same moment as stede stepped out from the other end of the ship and their eyes met and there was a soft, silent moment where ed was basically putting himself out there for stede’s approval and stede smiled and smiled and looked ed from toe to top as they walk forward slowly to meet in the middle of the deck and its like no one else exists in all the world
and stede said “that color suits you” and ed said “it’s just fucking–purple, man” and stede said, “do you know, some people might call this particular shade a royal purple.” and ed can barely breathe at this point and he’s like “oh yeah?” and stede says “or a french violet. it’s great with your eyes. and your hair–oh, you did use the silk flowers.” at this point ed is blushing so hard he’s so glad for the fuckin beard man and he says “frenchie did it, not used to having it all pulled up like this” and stede’s smile gets even softer somehow and he says “well it looks lovely. i mean, it always does, you have lovely hair, but it’s–nice.”
and then fuckin izzy who can’t stand this interrupts and he’s got these little purple ribbons and he barges in to be like “boss, frenchie says these are for your beard, i can add them in” and the moment is broken and izzy starts trying to tie them but he can’t manage it and ed keeps looking away from him and glancing over at stede and izzy is getting frustrated and finally stede steps forward and says, “may i?” and ed just goes to him instantly, just melts away from izzy and steps in close to stede and offers up his beard to stede, essentially putting stede into izzy’s place, so that izzy has no choice but to hand over the ribbons and it’s like the whole ocean and sky holds its breathe while stede fixes the ribbons in place
“there,” stede says. “you look lovely.” and ed sways into him a little before he gets a hold of himself and he finally manages to say, “you do too, the, eh, white is nice, like the white,” and stede grins again and they go to get into the dinghy and row over but as they’re standing at the rail stede leans over and says “i am rather partial to the leather look as well, you know” just before he climbs over and leaves ed standing there with his heart falling out of his throat after him”
SPOILERS FOR JRWI EPISODE 108
So, heh, how do we feel about Episode 108?
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
couldn't finish this on time but I HAD to draw this scene it was so good!!!!
UPDATE: WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
ITS TIME FOR 109
AHAHAHAHAH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH