Separatism - Tumblr Posts
something i keep seeing among all the celibacy discussions is this argument that we shouldn't restrict women from trying to find "love". but what does love mean? love is as much defined by our social realities as everything else involving sex & sexuality. love, romance & partnership are not neutral concepts. heterosexist patriarchy wields the ideal of love against women and our class interests, to instill in us that love is the only thing we should aspire for. that love is marriage, children, self-sacrifice, & submission to a man. fantasies of love are one part of female socialisation into femininity & heterosexuality. given men are socialised not for the capacity of love in its purest sense but for dominance and ownership, how is it you are hoping to find love with them? can you find love and partnership that is truly free of the inequalities of capitalism & patriarchy? just as we interrogate sex we should interrogate love.
i am at the point where i no longer entertain delusions of romantic love with a man. i am not happy to settle for "what i can get" from a man, which honestly i don't think would ever be very much. watching and learning from the older women in my family it seems like the "love" of men is not worth having. what i am searching for instead is community and love among women. romantic or sexual love from men is not love's only form, love's only source. but that is what they would like you to believe.
it’s kind of exhausting and depressing to be in the era of feminism where it’s watered down to just supporting women for being compliant with the patriarchy. will it hurt women to think critically about makeup, body image, heterosexual relationships, pornography, etc.? You can’t be a real feminist these days without so called feminists side eying you for bringing up the reality of being a woman. what’s that quote that says something along the lines of women ignoring their oppression because the truth is agonizing ? yeah, that’s what feminism is right now but it’s only getting worse