Shinso Hitoshi Angst - Tumblr Posts

┄ DADDY ISSUES

➥ Shinso Hitoshi x gn!reader

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

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➥ disclaimers/warnings: mentally abusive parents, mentions of divorce, mental abuse, infidelity (dad)

➥ word count: 1.2k

𝐏𝐥𝐚𝐲: Daddy Issues (remix) by The Neighborhood feat. Syd

By now the burning feeling in the back of your throat wasn't anything new, nor was the stress of holding in your tears. After having to deal with your parents for sixteen years, it was habit.

Your whole life you were surrounded by yelling, stress, and anger. Always getting yelled at for the littlest things and trying to hold your tears in, it never worked of course.

Your dad was involved in your life when he had to be, but other than that you practically never saw him.

A few months ago you learned that you dad had been cheating on your mom but it wasn't a one time thing, he had been doing it for months. After she learned on this she threatened to get a divorce, but all my dad had to do to get her to stay was pay her monthly.

And because of this you were always left wondering if your parents were going to actually divorce like they said they would many times.

You often found yourself thinking that you would never actually experience what it's like to be loved, or appreciated.

And you were okay with that. After seeing how your parents relationship was, you were scared of having a romantic relationship with anyone.

Scared to fall in love, only to fight and argue constantly; then fall out of love.

You were scared of getting hurt.

It was officially your parents fault that you were scared of love, seeing how love didn't exactly work for them, why would it be any different for you.

"Hey, how've you been? We haven't talked lately." A males voice said from over my shoulder.

I jumped in shock, nearly falling off the park bench before quickly turning my had to look at the source of the voice. Shinso Hitoshi, his purple hair was as vibrant as ever.

A soft smile tugged at my lips, "Hey, just the usual. Sorry about being so flaky recently, there was a family emergency." It was sad how easily that lie slipped out of my mouth.

Even after being friends with Shinso for over 3 years, he still has no clue about my parents and their problems.

But I just didn't want to talk about it at school. It was my getaway from home, from all the fights and insults. So if keeping Shinso in the dark about my home life meant it would stay that way, then why bother.

"Did something bad happen?" No, it's always been like this.

"Nothing too bad, my grandma just collapsed out of nowhere. So we were all with just in case." Another lie.

"Oh, is she alright." He asked, genuine concern evident in his voice.

"Yeah, it was just iron deficiency. I gave him another soft smile to reassure him about my 'poor grandmother'.

"Well that's good. By the way, do you want to hang out this weekend? We haven't done that in at least two weeks."

"Yeah sure, Your place."

"Uh, we can't. Our house is getting some remodeling done to it, so were going to have to go to yours." No. no. no. My heart dropped to my gut, nervousness seeped into my body.

"I don't think that'll work. My grandma is staying over." It was a believable lie right?

"That's okay. We can just hang out in your basement so we don't disturb her." Shit.

C'mon Y/N, you just need to tell him you can't do that.

"Yeah, I guess that'll work." You gave him a small smile.

But when it came to Shinso Hitoshi, you were weak. Yours problems didn't seem so bad when you were with him.

"Alright, see you later today?" He grinned at you as he got off off the bench.

"Yeah." You nodded at the boy. You stood up and gave him a quick hug before he walked away.

After you were sure he was out of sight, the smile you forced slipped of of your face as you slumped back on to the wooden bench, letting out a sigh.

Shit, he's gonna know now. You hands rubbed your face in frustration. Why couldn't you have just said no to him, it's only two letters, n - o.

But maybe part of me wanted him to know, so I would finally have someone to talk to about it so I wouldn't have to hold it in any longer.

I was reaching out for help, but I didn't even notice.

I groaned, finally fed up with their fighting for the day. I stood up from my desk and walked over to get my earbuds, in hopes of being able to drown out some of the fighting with music.

Just as I was about to press play, my phone buzzed. My eyes were met with a text from Shinso

hey, I'm here. But it sounds like there's a lot of yelling, are you okay?

The burning sensation in the back of my throat started to appear again as tears threatened to spill.

He knows now. Now he's going to want me to tell him what's been happening.

I took a slow deep breath before going downstairs to let Shinso in. After I reached the bottom of the steps my dad spoke up.

"Who did you invite over? And why weren't we told." The irritation in his voice was clear as day.

No, he's never home. Why is he here?

After being so caught up in everything lately, I forgot to tell my parents I was having someone over. Fear started to fill my body, my voice was gone as I stood at the base of the steps frozen in fear.

Tears filled my eyes again as I tried to come up with an explanation, anything. But my mouth couldn't muster up any words as I stood there. I knew I was going to have to deal with the repercussions of my actions, and any insults they decide to throw at me knowing I won't talk back because they practically trained me not to.

Just as my mom was about to speak up, a knock came from the door. Shinso.

No, I really didn't want him to see me like this.

Just stop crying.

"Go ahead, let your friend in. And tell them you can't hang out today." He seemed so calm, and that only scared me more.

I finally moved from my spot at the bottom of the stairs, and opened the door.

I knew my eyes were red from the tears that had managed to slip out, he opened his mouth to say something but before he could get anything out I interrupted.

"Hey Shin, I just remembered I can't hang out today. But maybe late." I tried my best to muster up a smile.

Shinso only stood there, his brows were furrowed in confusion. I knew he had questions, but I closed the door before he could ask me anything.

Now I had to deal with my parents.

Or not.

I turned to look at my parents fro a moment, anger was evident on their faces. That only made my stomach churn, knowing what I was going to do next.

Before any words could be said, I ran to my room. My heart was throbbing in my chest, tears flooded my eyes.

I shut the door behind me and locked it. I heard my parents shouting as they walked towards my room.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I was crying like a child at this point, finally regretting what I just did.

My phone was buzzing non-stop on my desk, I stood up wiping my eyes and grabbed it.

Hey, Y/N what's going on?Are you okay?Y/N please answer, I need to know your okay.Please

His texts only made me cry harder, and I finally felt something I hadn't felt in a long time.

I felt loved, not by my parents. But by a person who I had only known for three years.

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