Soobs Yn Lovelies. - Tumblr Posts

a taste of something new — soobin x f!reader

45. help (part two) — WC: 899 (+sns)

A/N: look at them sharing one single broken braincell awwwww otp behavior me thinks

WARNINGS: cursing, mentions of sex, mentions of being under the influence of alcohol, hints of anxiety and insecurities??

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It's not the first time you've slept on Soobin's bed, so you don't find it strange when you wake up tangled in his sheets. Your brain is still booting up, after all, so you take your sweet time to sit up, stretch your arms, and start thinking. 

However, as soon you do, you realize you're a little… underdressed. No, actually, you're not dressed at all. And that's how you start to get flashbacks from the previous night.

Your eyes bulge and your heart immediately starts to race.

Fuck.

"No, God, don't use that word right now," you hiss at yourself and slap your forehead. "Shit."

You hop off the bed and look around, finding your clothes scattered on the floor, and just the sight of that is enough to make your brain remember in full detail how it felt when Soobin removed each piece of clothing from your body, the way he touched you, the way he kissed you. 

Why did you do that? Why would you? Especially after you made him drink? Hell, does he think you took advantage of him? Are you a pervert? Is that what he thinks of you now? And why is he not there?

"Soobin?" You try to call out, peeking out the door, but you get no response. You can see the bathroom door is open, and the whole apartment is eerily silent. "Soob?" You try again, raising your voice, but… nothing. Not a peep. "Oh God, oh God, okay, don't panic. Maybe he… Maybe he went out to grab some breakfast. Maybe he sent you a text about it. He wouldn't do the walk of shame out of his own apartment, that's ridiculous… Right? No, yeah, he wouldn't, he's not like that," you try to comfort yourself while you open his wardrobe just to grab some clean clothes. 

There are a few that belong to you there, but you still grab one of his t-shirts without even thinking about it. 

Hurriedly, you look for your phone, and you find it on the bedside table, which means Soobin probably left it there for you, because you sure as hell weren't even thinking about your phone last night.

And here it comes again, another memory that makes you feel his fingers on your skin again, sending shivers down your spine. He had no right to be that good with his hands, and he shouldn't be haunting you right now.

However, there's nothing on your phone. Not from Soobin, at least. Should you text him? Or is this his way of telling you he doesn't wanna see you today? He wouldn't just fuck you and leave you, would he? You're the one who's most likely to do that, and you weren't planning on doing so. 

You actually try to text him, but every attempt sounds too awkward for you. "Where are you?" sounds too demanding, "are you buying breakfast?" is even worse, and a simple "hi" would be too dry, but sending any variations of that with emojis would be too much.

"Fucking hell, just breathe." 

You give up on trying to contact him and come up with a plan: you're gonna take a shower, get dressed, clean up the mess in his bedroom and get ready to leave. If he doesn't show up by then, then it probably means he doesn't wanna see you. 

And it's all good, it's all great, until you're actually done with everything and he's still not there. You even try to kill some time playing with Odi, but the little voice in your head insists you should just leave.

Maybe he's upset.

But why would he be upset? He seemed to be into it. Really into it. It's actually somewhat endearing to remember how he seemed to be so lost at first but still paid close attention to whatever seemed to please you the most to make sure he'd be good for you. And despite not being the most skillful partner you've ever had, it was still your best experience, because he was a quick learner, and… well, there were feelings there. Feelings that are still too new and foreign for you, but you can't keep denying their existence. 

"Do you think your dad hates me now?" You pout at the hedgehog, who's currently not even paying attention to you, too distracted with his little toy — one you helped Soobin choose.

Fine.

Five more minutes. Just five, and if he doesn't come back, you'll grab your stuff and leave. It's his last chance.

After one minute, your leg is already jerking nervously, but you act like nothing's happening.

After two, you're trying to type out a text that doesn't make you feel completely wrong, but when you reach the third minute, you give up.

By the fourth minute, you're already convinced that this is stupid, so you get up, feeling something tightening in your chest.

You hate it. You hate everything about it. You wanna talk to him, but you don't know how, and you feel like maybe he doesn't wanna talk to you, which makes you feel like you messed up, and maybe it's beyond repair this time.

With a prickling sensation in your eyes, you leave his apartment to get a cab and go back home. You just hope Sunoo is still asleep so you don't have to deal with him questioning you about what happened.

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