Souljourney - Tumblr Posts

He felt dissatisfied in himself. He didn't feel confident, happy or fulfilled. So he sought it externally, especially through romantic based situations.

Secrecy, lies and manipulation. He was not trustworthy. He was constantly seeking other options and romantic validations outside of their relationship and their connection. He pursued other options and always kept his options open.

She left him.

Only because he left her first when he emotionally abandoned their situation. She had to walk away because he was not only receiving validation that he couldn't find within himself through these unaligned third party romantic situations but he was also keeping secrets, lying and deceiving in regards to love.

Past and present. He seeks external validation romantically and also materially.

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My open heart was full of patience and love and your words were how you truly felt. I know.

But your words and actions were not aligning. It always came across like you must not have really meant what was being said.

If only he could support his words with his actions.

Those moments you let go of your walls you spoke of your dreams and of what could be. You spoke of love and passion, purpose and happiness.

What is real life? What is possible and were these things just impossibilities? Did obstacles appear and present themselves to you?

It wasn't just personal, it was soul deep.

Perhaps you didnt know but, there is a depth between us that is beyond time and seperation. In this physical reality, distance between us is an illusion, even if you are unaware it is.

This soul path you have elected for in this lifetime can only be for an old soul because of its complexities and layered challenges. This path you have chosen is a very advanced soul path.

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Don't waste your time worrying about other people.

You can't please everyone and not everyone can please you.

I know it doesn't feel good to receive criticism or disagreement but at the end of the day, it's just opinions.

Time is limited. Live your life authentically for yourself and honour your truth.

☆°•●•☆☆°•

Nothing more. Nothing less.

Intent on completing life like a series of tasks.

Knowing your way in the dark, keep planning every step.

Such a fine line between surface and depth, poverty and riches.

Nothing more. Nothing less.

But you are more. You are Magic. You are Powerful. You are Spirit and you are Love. Nothing less. Never less.

☆●

Being in my own space is powerful.

Looking within and willing to do the work is hard but also rewarding.

Being in stillness and balance.

Breathing, relaxing, mindfulness and conscious awareness brings me so much joy and love.

Note to Self:

Today I had a realisation about a moment in time that I remember well. A time that crept up always for me quite regularly and it was a moment I didn't know what to do with...until now.

I was about 12 or 13 years old, in class and the teacher asked what did we want to do when we grew up. I was a shy student but i was excited to share what I wanted to be when I grew up because I've known it for a while. I heard another girl answer exactly what I was going to say and the teacher shot it down. So quickly! So I changed my answer and even then that didn't go down well with my teacher.

Now, years later, many many years later, over 30years later, I'm having a realisation, it was this moment that stopped me from pursuing my own dreams earlier in life. I'd been afraid of judgement, that it was wrong, that it wasn't good enough. That I was wrong, that I wasn't good enough.

So today, I'm releasing this thought pattern that stemmed from this experience. I'm releasing its ties on me. I'm changing my experience with it, letting it go and transmuting it's energy back to love and light.

That day I wanted to share with my teacher that I wanted to be a Fashion Designer when I grew up. I didn't know how or why and I didn't know anyone who was a fashion designer back then.

Today I'm in a different space and I know more about the world, more about myself and more in general and so today, I won't label myself. Today I will say that I want to be a creator, I will be a creator because I am a creator.

I AM.

Note to Self:

My story has changed so many times in this life journey and I'm grateful for my blessings and my lessons. Where I am now, I never would be without the learned experiences of my past.

Recently I've been working on re-setting my "why".

My motivator for why I do things.

You are not listening to what we are saying. We are telling you this:

You are good enough!

You don't have to keep looking over your shoulder for the ball to drop.

It's not going to drop!

You are only creating bliss now.

☆

I dont know what you say and what you don't say.

I dont know what you feel and what you suppress.

I dont want to know. I want you to experience all that you wanted to experience in your journey.

I feel the sadness and despair too but I know these feelings are not mine.

I know what your heart feels because I know your heart.

I feel you breaking through.

I feel you becoming your whole self.

I feel your layers unravelling.

I see your soul glistening as you remember your way home again.

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I'm in the thick of finding my soul purpose in this reality as it relates to my career. I've been contemplating how a singer knows they were born to be a singer? How does a poet know they were meant for poetry? Poetry is quite specific! Thinking of my teacher, how did she know she would become mentor and teacher to so many?

I accept that I'm here as a healer, this is something I believe now. Been in the fashion industry for most of my life to have such a life changing path at this time was so perplexing for me at first. Spirit has told me on a few occasions that my work will include children and animals. My niece who cannot communicate but psychically has told me that I will one day be helping children - like her, and be able to communicate with nature and with animals too. So when does all this happen? How will it manifest?

I'm just thinking out loud. I'm putting it out into the Universe ✨️ because I'm ready.

How does this energy make me feel? This longing to know feels like the distance between us. This is our space. Does that even make sense in this worlds worldly terms? It's like the parallel. This is the energy that I needed to discover, that I'm supposed to know.

Lots to think about.

I have a deep fear of being 'out front'. Of having the spotlight on me. Of being at the forefront.

I know that sounds like a weird statement because who doesn't want to at the forefront and be accredited for what they achieved. Especially in this day and age where we seek 'instant fame'. Well...it turns out, Me.

Thinking back on my career, in all of my roles, I am the strategiser and the doer, the one that makes it all happen and I'm content to be behind the scenes to watch the success of my efforts unfold in front of me. I'm content for others to take the credit and stand at the forefront to take the congratulatory bows, the compliments and high regards.

I have wondered about this 'trait' of mine. Not often, I can count them all, no more than three times.

After alot of energy work this weekend, clearing and releasing more blockages, I had many realisations. One relating to this 'trait'.

I learned this 'trait' is actually a deep seeded fear that has been the result of many lifetimes. I have been at the forefront before, many times. I received all the flowers for all my efforts and on many occasions I was taken advantage of. By jealous people, by power hungry people, by insecure and unhappy people.

So in this life, I stay away from being at the forefront. It was a subconscious choice.

I think there are major changes happening for me very soon, care of the Universe. If I accept these changes, I will be at the forefront. They will take me to the forefront. I'm not afraid of that. I'm abit anxious because Spirit gave me a disclaimer, said if I want this part of my journey, there will be more lessons for me.

I dont know about you, but when Spirit gives me a disclaimer beforehand, my mind starts wondering into worst case scenarios. Asking questions, like is jail a part of my experiences? Major injuries? Family...?

I accepted. Afterall, it is why I chose to be here.

♡☆☆°♡♡

I've been given a clean slate and it feels wonderful but just not igniting my passions right now. Maybe it's too clean?!!

So, I recently made a conscious choice to accept more experiences and life lessons from them (and ultimately myself). I'm in the process of integrating these new codes and energies. No more clean slate. Give me experiences and textures and heartfelt moments in every moment.

I'm both scared and excited.

Where does shame come from? Where does guilt and doubt? Love?

How can shyness, embarrassment or self esteem be so harmful to ourselves?

Why are these feelings and emotions so powerful? How is it they can cripple us in seconds? Make us anxious, nervous, doubtful, fearful...why do we allow all this to consume us to these degrees? We know it's not good for us!

What if we never knew shame, guilt, regret, embarrassment, abandonment, deceit, doubt, resentment and all other emotions on these spectrums? What if they didn't exist, what if?

Would we make different choices?

Would we exercise our 'free will' differently?

Would your life be different?

☆•

I AM the purpose of all the paths that I AM.

I am the purpose and the path of all the walkers throughout all, time and space.

These new year energies are SO intense and today is the first day of the new year! Whoa!

I can feel them integrating into my heart. These feelings are huge, and I can feel my heart swelling and expanding.

My eyes are watering as I release and let go. I have no thoughts and no words. I am all feeling in this moment.

I give thanks and appreciation for the lessons you offered and the growth and expansion I was able to experience. The gratitude I hold is forever.

I need to let this energy into the universe so that it may always be so.

☆◆♡

"Everything is going to change very instantly and you will feel a strong pull towards the ocean".

The ocean calls me. She wants to share with me her songs, her memories, and her secrets. She wants to remind me that these are my songs, my memories and my secrets too. She wants to remind me that I can be everywhere infinitely as well as individual all at once because I am all, and I am one.

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There is a starlit sky

There is a fire

There is earth

There is you

And there is I

✨️

Time is slipping by. This is what I used to think about, probably a lot more than I ever admitted to. Then, I started to see time differently, and that's when I started to appreciate time and find gratitude for it. I believe in many things, including all possibilities in this now moment and that this now moment is made up of what we would term as the past, future, and present.

I have my moments. It's natural for humans to think too far ahead at times sometimes. Thinking about age, numbers, what ifs and generally about running out of time.

Spirit reminds me I'm exactly where I am supposed to be. They remind me my dreams are just a thought away. That I can have everything I've ever wanted and more. I can feel my heart longing but I can also hear my heart singing because I know my heart knows.

✨️