Stupid Me About Me - Tumblr Posts

I just realized.. I’m exactly like Dean emotionally-repressed Winchester. I‘m creating intricate rituals just to touch their hands for a moment, I hold onto their coat, I drink waaay too much even though it’s ruining my health, all just because it makes me feel a little closer to them and helps me be a little more open and show them just a tiny bit more honestly how much they mean to me.. Although I’d never actually confess my true feelings.

I am usually SOOO cas-coded, but how I am with that person REALLY brings out the Dean in me. I just love them so much and I’d literally fight hell and god for them, the only thing I wouldn’t do is let the know how I feel. I just wish I could do more for them. They’re not in the best place mentally and I wish I could be what they need and help them, but I also don’t wanna pressure them into talking and I want to know they’re okay but they have a hard time talking about their feelings so I’ll never really know and I’m worried about them and there’s just nothing else I can think about than them.

I even started writing poems. Like.. a LOT of poems. I just really can’t deal with all this love for them, I see them almost every day and I always push my feelings down as deep as possible but they keep bubbling up and I just don’t find the right outlet.