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đЏđ§đť ę° #vampires bleeding mlist ęą đĽđˇ



⤼ when the daily lives of seven vampires drastically changes when one of the younger ones get hurt and starting a war when the first mate in the pack gets her life threatened. The boys fight to protect what becomes theirs while ending a war that apparently was in motion years before the first event...
*every y/n is different in each part...*
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series tag & spotify playlist
jungwon: killer date
jay: dark waters
jake: luna nova
sunghoon: capturing magic
sunoo: even closer
niki: let it go
heeseung: mirrors
part 2: you complete me mlist
part 3: break the chain mlist
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champagne problems: part two

pairing:Â jake sim x f reader
genre:Â enemies to lovers, rich kids au, fake dating au, college au, angst, fluff
part two word count:Â 33.2k
part two warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, jealousy, a kiss or two, my incessant need to make sunghoon a figure skater in everything I write, family drama, use of the american (usa) university system
soundtrack: boom - dpr live / bad idea! - girl in red / blood on the floor - kuiper / calico - dpr ian / comme de garçons (like the boys) - rina sawayama / lust - chase atlantic
part 1 is linked on my masterlist for now!
â・ďžâď¸ď˝Ąâ・ ďžâž ďžď˝Ąâ â・ďžâď¸ď˝Ąâ・ ďžâž ďžď˝Ąâ
The second son of a wealthy family, Jake Sim has gotten used to always standing in the shadow of his older brother. From grades to girls to talks of becoming future CEO of the Sim Corporation, heâs no stranger to coming in second place. So when an opportunity arises for Jake to finally have the one thing his brother canât and best him once and for all, he knows heâd be a fool not to take it.
There are only two problems. The first is that the thing his brother wants so badly isnât a thing at all. Itâs you, semi-estranged daughter of the Simsâ closest and most long-standing business partner.
The second is that Jake Sim canât fucking stand you.
â・ďžâď¸ď˝Ąâ・ ďžâž ďžď˝Ąâ â・ďžâď¸ď˝Ąâ・ ďžâž ďžď˝Ąâ
PART TWO
â・ďžâď¸ď˝Ąâ・ ďžâž ďžď˝Ąâ â・ďžâď¸ď˝Ąâ・ ďžâž ďžď˝Ąâ
Jake Sim has been staring at his philosophy homework for the last twenty minutes when a stack of pastel pink papers slides across the table towards him.Â
âWhat is this?â Much like most interactions heâs had with you, your sudden presence at Jake's favorite coffee shop is entirely unexplained. Hell, heâs not even sure how you found him here. Heâd ask, if he thought youâd give him a straightforward answer.Â
But Jake knows better at this point. So with a grumble, he takes out his headphones instead and prepares for a conversion that will probably put him in a worse mood than he started it in.Â
Sliding down into the seat across from him without an invitation or the courtesy of an explanation, the only thing you say is, âYou know, I really am starting to get a bit worried about your future success.â Nodding at the stack of papers youâve just put on the table in front of him, you add, âHow are you a third-year business major that still canât recognize a contract?â
âI know what a contract is.â Jake defends, eyeing the papers warily, reaching out to pick them up. âBut usually theyâre not printed out on pink paper.â Really, who do you think you are? Elle Woods? And where did you even get this stuff? Jake doubts that this shade of pink cardstock came from the shelves of your local office supply store. Bringing the paper up closer to his nose, he levels you with a disbelieving look. âHold on, is this paper scented?â
âDonât put your gross nose on it! That paper is custom ordered.â
Of course it is. âWhy the fuck did you print out a contract on custom ordered lavender-scented paper?â
You have the audacity to look affronted. âYou should be thanking me.â With half a mind to snatch it out of his hands, you instead tell him with a glare, âLavender is a very calming scent and probably the only thing stopping me from strangling you right now, yâknow, since this entire thing is your fault.âÂ
Setting the papers back on the table with a little more force than necessary, Jake isnât in the mood to play your favorite game of beating around the bush.âWhat entire thing? What kind of contract is this?âÂ
âIâm so glad you asked.â Your tone says otherwise. âSince someoneâs loser brother couldnât keep his mouth shut, just like I predicted, and someoneâs mother found out about someoneâs unfortunate use of the B wordââ
âHold on,â Jakeâs brow creases in confusion. âI never called anyone a bitchââ
âBoyfriend,â you clarify, cutting him off. âI figured we better lay out some ground rules. You know, if weâre really gonna go for this.â
âGo for what?â Jake is still lost. âItâs just a family dinnerââ
Shaking your head, you paint a perfect picture of disappointment when you tell him, âYour lack of foresight is astounding. Truly. Forget econ, Iâm surprised you managed to pass classes that involve basic logic or any kind of critical thinking skills.â
Across from you, Jake does his best to close his laptop screen inconspicuously, keeping his untouched philosophy homework hidden from view.Â
Then he returns, âAnd you donât think youâre overreacting? Like, at all? What do we need a contract for?â Not that the lavender-scented abomination looks particularly legally binding to begin with. âLike I said, itâs just dinnerââ
âFor now,â you interrupt. âItâs just dinner for now. But two days ago, it was just a fundraiser, and to the best of our familiesâ knowledge, you were just my plus-one.â Giving him your best fake smile, you add, âAnd like the person at this table who has an IQ higher than a goldfish predicted, things are already getting messy. This,â you nod to the contract, âwill help us clean them up before James or my mother realize that everything about you and me is nothing but one big lie.â
Jake sighs. Tries to defend himself even though he knows itâs futile. âLook, how was I supposed to know that my brother would open his big mouth to my mom?â And it really is just terrible luck all around â that James couldnât keep a secret, that he chose to divulge it to the one person that actually cares about Jakeâs love life and not just its potential effects on the family business.Â
In fact, in Jake's opinion, his mother cares a little too much. The messages that started Sunday morning havenât stopped since then. Itâs a big part of the reason why his phone is currently face-down on the table that separates the two of you. Jake is not about to let you see anything that could potentially inflate your ego any more.Â
His mother, however, seems to have other ideas. Right now, his message thread with her looks more like a one-sided fan club.
Mom: I canât wait to meet her! I remember her as a little kid. Itâs been so long since Iâve seen her. Mom: Does she have any dietary restrictions or allergies? Iâm starting to put together the menu for this weekend. Mom: Does she prefer white or red wine? Mom: Never mind the last message. Iâll just pull out some of both. Mom: I just stumbled across a recent picture of her. Wow, sheâs even more beautiful than I remember! I hope youâre treating her well. Mom: Can you send me your apartment address again? I want to mail you something. Mom: Oh, and whatâs ___âs favorite kind of cookie? Mom: Forget it. Iâll just give them to you this weekend to take with you.Â
Suppressing a wince, Jake decides to put his motherâs incessant prying to the side for the time being. Right now, he needs to build the most bulletproof defense of his intelligence and common sense as possible before you keep shooting holes in it. But contrary to his beliefs, youâre not here to argue with him about where the blame for your unfortunate situation lies, at least not for the most part.Â
You tell him as much. âIâm not here to yell at you about how this is all your fault.â
Jake raises an eyebrow, lips flat. âCouldâve fooled me.â
âDonât worry,â you assure him. âI got my anger out already. Your pictureâs right in the middle of my dartboard.â Across the table from him, you smile sweetly, imitate throwing a dart directly at the center of his forehead.Â
Jake canât tell if youâre kidding or not, and somehow thatâs more unnerving.Â
âSo what, you donât need to hear me say that everythingâs my fault? Youâd rather get it in writing instead?â Jake glances at the forgotten contract. Suddenly, a wave of panic crests in his mind. âIf youâre trying to sue meââ
You roll your eyes before he can finish the empty threat. âAgain, thatâs not what this is for.â Looking at the papers, you tilt your head, considering. âAlthough itâs not too late for an amendmentâŚâ
Jake cuts that train of thought off as quickly as he can. âOkay, what exactly is it for then?â
You donât miss a beat. âLike I said, just like someone with more than two functioning brain cells predicted, your little slip of the tongue made things messy. So if Iâm gonna save your ass and pretend to be your girlfriend in front of your family this weekend, weâre gonna need some kind of written agreement about how this is going to play out. Think of it as an agreement, something to outline theâŚâ you pause, weighing your words, âexpectations on both of our ends.â
A contract. A fake dating contract. Itâs all Jake can do not to burst out laughing. Heâs trying to egg you on a little, piss you off and push your buttons like youâre so good at doing to him when he tells you, âYâknow, itâs kind of funny how seriously youâre taking this.â
You donât understand how he can be so blase about it all. Sure, maybe the contract was a little overkill, but the two of you are about to start pretending to be dating, to be a couple, in front of your families. Itâs not something that youâre willing to walk into blindly.Â
âReally? I think itâs kind of funny the whole reason Iâm in this mess is because of you.â Suddenly, thereâs a reignited fire in your eyes. Jake almost regrets his taunting. âIn fact, I think itâs absolutely hilariousââ
âOkay, okay,â He can sense a losing battle when he sees it. Not wanting to rehash your argument from earlier or put himself at the center of any more dartboard target practices, Jake surrenders. And then he frowns. Reaching for the stack of papers again, he scans the first page. Trying to make sense of all the legal jargon and stylized formatting, heâs hesitant when he glances at you and slow to admit, âTo be completely honest with you, Iâm actually not that good with contractsââ
âOh my god.â
âSo, do you think you could go over the highlights for me?â
âYou are absolutely insufferable.â
âIâm sorry,â Jake intones flatly. âAre you talking to me or the mirror you spend five hours a day looking into?â
You kind of have to hand it to him. Ever since your run in with his brother, his insults have been landing a lot better. That one was actually pretty good. Not that youâd ever admit it.Â
âAnyway,â you glare instead. âThe highlights.â Nodding to the contract you spent most of last night writing up, you explain, âThe first page is just basic contract language. The actual content of our proposed agreement starts on the second page.â
Following your explanation, Jake sets the first page aside, makes quick work of skimming the second. Or at least he tries to. It proves a difficult task, however, when he gets a little caught up on the very first line.Â
âReally?â Youâre not quite sure what kind of expression is on his face when he looks up at you. Itâs an odd mix of shock, disbelief, and perhaps, if the sudden flush on his cheekbones is anything to go by, embarrassment. âRule number one is no kissing?â
Across from him, you just rest your chin in your palm. âI know Iâm crushing your dreams and all, but donât be so surprised.â
Jakeâs glare is easier to read this time. âThat is not what I meant. Itâs just⌠I donât know.â It seems so obvious. He didnât think youâd feel the need to actually write it out like heâs about to start trying to plant ones on you every hour of the day. âItâs not what I was expecting.â
âI mean, I donât know how family dinners work at your house, but mine usually donât involve makeout sessions between courses.â
âExactly,â Jake returns. âIt hardly seems like something we need in writing when itâs more than easy to avoid.â
Still, you donât back down. âDonât blame me for erring on the side of caution. Weâre pretending to be a couple in front of your brother. And we both know that you donât exactly make the most rational decisions when he starts pushing your buttons, boyfriend.â
The use of the pet name is intentional. Itâs a reminder that Jake canât be trusted where his older brother is concerned. Not when in the heat of the moment, he would say or do just about anything to get under Jamesâ skin in the same way James has been getting under his for the last twenty-one odd years. Â
âPoint taken.â Jake canât exactly argue that one.Â
And in all honesty, Jake kinda feels like heâs getting off easy, at least with you. Not that he would ever tell you that.Â
Heâs feeling apprehensive about this dinner, yes, and now about being legally bound to you, but he supposes things could be a lot worse. For starters, youâd been much easier to convince than he initially thought. He wasnât sure what kind of bribes would work on you, how he was going to get you to keep up the facade he started for one more dinner.Â
Maybe, he thought, he would be able to leverage your phone number against you in a new way. He could promise not to pass it along to James, but only as long as you did him the solid of playing the part of his girlfriend, this time at a dinner with his family.Â
But that felt a little too much like blackmail, even for him. So instead, he had told you the truth.Â
Listening to the phone ring after clicking on your number, it was all Jake could do not to throw his phone across the room in anticipation of your rage. But then you answered, and it all came spilling out.Â
He told you that James could not be trusted with secrets but could absolutely be trusted to do everything in his power to ruin Jakeâs life, even if unintentionally. He explained how his mother was now unfortunately involved, that your initial plan to just mention each other occasionally and claim that things fizzled by the time the clock struck midnight on New Yearâs was no longer viable.Â
You had remained completely silent for a long pause. Too long. Jake was suddenly very grateful that he took the precaution of having this conversation over the phone. Mostly because he was pretty sure if he tried to tell you face-to-face, you would cause him actual bodily harm. But instead of threats or curses or even sarcasm, Jake had listened as a long sigh came through the other line and thenâ
âYeah, my mom has been asking me about you too.â Much to his shock, you were resigned to the fact, not angry at the news. And you had told him, âIâll come to your family dinner. Just let me⌠Let me think about the best way to go about this.â
Less than twenty-four hours have passed since that phone conversation, and Jake shouldnât be as surprised as he is that your idea of the best way to go about this is printed out for him on custom pink lavender-scented paper. Â
Deciding to leave the kissing debacle alone for the moment, he reads through the rest of your so-called rules. With more of an idea as to what to expect, nothing shocks him quite as much as the initial line.Â
He reads the second section wordlessly: Both parties will do everything in their power, to a reasonable extent, to maintain the image of a false relationship in the presence of family members and those with immediate connections to them (including, but not limited to employees, business partners, etc).
The third section covers another base: Friends and other acquaintances of both parties are not to be informed of the arrangement. Neither party is under obligation to maintain the lie of relationship with friends or acquaintances unless deemed necessary to maintain secrecy of the relationship.Â
Jake glances up with a furrow in his brow. You clarify before he has the chance to ask, âBasically itâs saying that you donât have to lie to your friends and tell them that weâre dating, unless they get suspicious or start asking. Just donât tell them we arenât. And absolutely do not tell them about the contract.â Â
Jake nods, moves to the next line.Â
Neither party may involve themself in a romantic relationship of any nature with another individual for the duration of this contract. Both parties are to avoid to the best of their ability any situation in which it could be interpreted that they are in a romantic relationship of any nature with another individual for the duration of this contract.Â
âSo essentially just no dating other people?â Jake asks.Â
âRight.â You nod. âAnd try to avoid getting into situations that make it look like you might be dating someone else. Iâm not gonna make you agree to stop hooking up with people or anything.â You look mildly ill at the mere proximity of Jake and the term âhooking up.â âJust, yâknow, be discreet about it.â
Jake looks up at you. âIâm not hooking up with other people.â
You cringe. âThanks, but I really donât need the gory details of your sex life. Do you understand the rule or not?â
Jake nods. âYeah, I get it.â
âGreat,â you move the contract aside, setting a new stack of papers down on the table. Also printed on pink paper, this pile is considerably thicker. âThatâs about it for the contract, then. This,â you gesture to the new set of papers, âis for you to memorize.â
Jake would be a little less wary if it didn't look as dense as an encyclopedia. âWhat is it?â
âA list of everything a real boyfriend should know about me.â Jake waits for you to finish the joke, to land a punchline, but youâre entirely serious when you add, âThink of it as your ___ cheat sheet. Iâll need one for you too, of course. Preferably in the next couple of days so that I can get it down before dinner this weekend.âÂ
Hesitantly, Jake picks up the first page. Scanning over yet another meticulously formatted document printed on â he sniffs again â yep, lavender-scented paper, Jake privately thinks that this may actually come in handy. If nothing else, heâs sure he could reference it for some of his momâs questions instead of needing to guess at your responses.Â
Itâll help with the basics, at least. Jake is pretty sure you wouldnât have bothered to include things like your favorite kind of cookie in there.Â
But then he glances again at the stack of papers, and more specifically, how how thick it is. He looks a little closer at the page in his hand. Single spaced. He flips it over. Double sided.Â
Looking over the back of the page in his hand, he forces himself to actually read some of what youâve written. He doesnât get far before heâs leveling you with a disbelieving look.
âIs this a prank?â
You have the gall to look confused. âNot even a little bit.â
Jake wants to tear his hair out. Because what the actual fuck? âI really donât think anyone is going to ask me about your third favorite shade of Dior lip oilââ
âThey might. And think of how suspicious it would be if you got me one as a Christmas gift or something and the color washed me out.â
Across from you, Jakeâs eyes just widen. And then heâs weighing your words.Â
Despite the ridiculousness, your argument does raise a point. Albeit not the one you intended.Â
âChristmas gift,â Jake repeats slowly. As of now, youâre already over halfway through fall semester, which means the holidays will be approaching in just a couple of short months. Suddenly, they seem a lifetime away. âDoes this contract of yours have an end date?â
âOh, right.â Reaching for the contract again, you turn to the final page, lay it on the table in front of Jake. âFeel free to propose something else,â you offer, âbut I put the termination date as January first of next year. I figured that we could use this arrangement to get us through all of the inevitable holiday parties. My family always hosts a giant one on New Yearâs Eve, so I thought we could go to that together and then call it off the next day. What do you think?â You turn to him. âToo long?â
Jake discards your insane list of personal preferences for the time being and picks up the last page of the contract. At the bottom, he locates the verbiage in the final section, just above the two blank signature lines neither of you have filled yet.Â
This contract will be terminated as of January 1 of the coming year.Â
Jakes stares at the date for a moment. It feels odd to see an expiration date on your relationship, regardless of the fact that itâs all a facade. Seems strange to be starting something with the sole intention of ending it. But he can hardly voice those feelings, so instead he taunts, âYou wanna be stuck with me that long, huh? Just canât get enough?â
Your lips flatten as you reach for your phone. âI will literally text your brother right now.â
âNice try,â Jake calls your bluff. âYou just told me that you didnât want your mom knowing that you lied about dating me either.â
âNo,â you correct, dangling your phone between your fingers. âWhat I said was that I want her off my back when it comes to my dating life and who I spend my time with. It wouldnât matter even a little bit to her whether thatâs you or James. In fact, she would probably actually like him betââ
âWhatever.â If Jake is suddenly sulking, he figures that no one needs to be aware of it. âI know you like me more than him.â
âIncorrect. I hate him more than I hate you.â
Jake stares at you blankly. âIs there a difference?â
âObviously,â you scoff.Â
âWhatever. Youâre still willing to tolerate me until New Yearâs.â
âIs that actually high praise to you? Do we need to start working on your self-confidence too?â
Insult aside, Jake supposes that your deadline does make sense. Although family obligations are intermittent in nature, it would be nice to have a go-to plan for every event and dinner and interaction with his older brother that heâs forced into between now and the New Year.Â
Honestly, the thought of having you at his upcoming family dinner has made Jakeâs steps the last two days feel a little lighter. If anything, he thinks that youâll be a great distraction for his father. Something to talk about besides the gory details of Jakeâs many failures.Â
Itâs a chance to be impressive in the eyes of his family, even if only in some small capacity, even if only until New Yearâs.Â
A moment later, Jake warily eyes the pen you hand him. âLet me guess, pink ink?â
âObviously not.â You roll your eyes. âHow would that show up on pink paper?â
So Jakeâs signature is written on the first dotted line of the contract with the matte black ink of your shockingly normal ballpoint pen. Moments later, your name joins on the second line, right next to his.Â
And itâs as if something shifts in the air, as if something suddenly feels a little heavier, slightly more weighted. The following silence that passes between the two of you feels like a finale of sorts. The end of something and the beginning of another.Â
Looking at the boy across from you, it feels strange to say that for all intents and purposes, even if theyâre fabricated, youâll be dating him until the New Year. Showing up on his arm and laughing at his jokes and filling in the quiet moments with little displays of affection, practiced bouts of intimacy.Â
Itâs weird. Itâs daunting. Itâs not something you have any clue how to navigate, even if the contract gives you a false sense of security, of control.Â
You break the moment by glancing at the clock that hangs above the front door of the coffee shop. Suddenly, your mind is elsewhere. On the other part of your original agreement. âYour first tutoring session is tonight, right?â Jungwon mentioned it to you in passing.Â
âYeah,â Jake nods. If his voice has an odd sudden hoarseness to it, youâll both ignore it for now. âWhy?â
âWhat time are you supposed to meet him?â
âSix-thirty.â
A second glance at the clock confirms, âItâs six thirty-five.â
âShit!â Jake is suddenly frantic, panicked as he rushes to repack his bag and salvage whatâs left of a good first impression on his tutor.Â
It hardly registers when you remind him, âDonât forget to make me a cheat sheet of things I should know about you!â Already halfway out the door, the only acknowledgement you get is a half hearted nod.Â
Frowning at the mess of papers in front of you, scattered from Jakeâs hasty exit, you make quick work of rearranging your newly minted contract in the correct order.Â
âMen,â you whisper, to no one in particular. Even though it doesnât land on the ears you want it to. Even though Jake is too far gone to hear it.Â
âŚ
Instead, what Jake hears a handful of minutes later, is a less than friendly reminder from the librarian at the front desk that the university library is a quiet area and that running is strictly prohibited. Still out of breath from the way he just bolted across the entire campus, all Jake can offer her is an apologetic nod.Â
He pulls out his phone to double-check the brief message thread between him and Jungwon, to confirm the exact location of their first tutoring session.Â
Yang Jungwon (Econ Tutor) [3:02 pm]: Study room 103 on the first floor
After that, there are only two other messages â one being Jakeâs hasty, misspelled apology for being nearly fifteen minutes late, to which he received:
Yang Jungwon (Econ Tutor) [6:41 pm]: No problem! Iâm here
After navigating his way to the reservable first floor study rooms, Jake finds himself in front of Room 103. Suddenly, a wave of self-consciousness sweeps away any adrenaline fueled by his lateness. Any lingering annoyance brought on by a conversation with you.Â
Should he knock? Is there a certain etiquette to this? How embarrassed should he be that the person waiting for him with both better punctuality and significantly better grades is two years his junior, according to the sparse information you gave him?
In the end, Jake decides it would be weird to knock and chokes down all his other uncertainty. Opening the door slowly, he nods at the boy already inside.Â
âHi, Jungwon?â
If his tutor is at all put off by Jakeâs lateness, he does a great job of hiding it. Jungwon is all smiles when he says, âThatâs me. You must be Jake.â Jake is still stuck halfway in the door like he wants to hold onto the opportunity to bolt, just in case he needs it. Jungwon picks up on some of his hesitation. âCome on in.â
Jake does so quietly, setting his stuff down as he slides into the seat across from Jungwon. As he pulls out his laptop, Jake glances at his tutor. All smiles and friendliness, the oversized hoodie he wears looks comfortable enough to fall asleep in. Altogether, he kind of reminds him of an overeager puppy. Or at least he would, if his features werenât so distinctly feline.Â
âSorry again for being late,â Jake mumbles, opening a Word document. âI completely lost track of time.â More like his time was completely overtaken by someone that does a great job of consuming all his senses and sends his mind spinning sideways, but Jake can hardly say that.Â
Just like he did over text, Jungwon doesnât appear bothered in the slightest by his tardiness. âIt really is no problem. Iâm glad you found the room alright. Itâs kind of like a maze back here.â
Heâs being nice again. Itâs a single hallway with a handful of clearly labeled doors. But Jake isnât one to look kindness in the mouth, especially when heâs still sitting on a pile of discomfort. Instead, he figures itâs as good a time as any to express his gratitude.Â
âThanks again for doing this, and for keeping it on the down low. ___ mentioned that youâre great at econ.â
Across from him, Jungwon shrugs. âIâm good with numbers and data and stuff like that. And I had to get good at studying pretty quick, since Iâve been on academic scholarships since middle school.â
That tidbit swirls in the air for a moment, falls through the room like a bad premonition before settling uncomfortably in Jakeâs gut. It makes him wonder, makes him question a lot of things.Â
What would he be like, Jake wonders, if his family name wasnât a safety net, a security blanket in its own right? If he had to fight to earn things like the university admission letter he took for granted? Resented, even, since it was yet another choice made for him by his father.Â
Would he be like Jungwon, tutoring older students for extra cash? Forgiving people when theyâre late and convincing himself that years of staring at math problems until his eyes felt like sandpaper is the same as being âgood with numbers and stuff like thatâ?Â
And Jake is assuming, of course. Maybe Jungwon is just good with numbers, has a natural inclination for economics.Â
But the only thing Jake has ever had a natural inclination for is doing what heâs told and then blaming the world around him when he hates himself a little for it.Â
All at once, he feels like an observer in his own life. An external force that does nothing but shake the snowglobe and wait to see where the dust settles, where everything lands.Â
But his self-prescribed identity crisis is not Jungwonâs problem, and Jake is at least self-aware enough to know that any hardships in his life likely pale in comparison to Jungwonâs. Itâs not like measuring misery has ever done Jake any good, and it feels unfair for him to be jumping to conclusions and stacking their lives against each other when all Jungwon is doing is trying to make conversation.Â
So Jake decides to save the psychoanalysis for a sleepless night and is nothing but neutral when he chooses to reply to the first part of Jungwonâs comment, âWell, Iâm grateful that youâre willing to help me. Iâm kind of a disaster when it comes to econ.â
âSo I hear,â Jungwon smiles, and Jake thinks that maybe him and Jungwon will get along just fine, whether they have the common ground of economics or not. âDonât let ___ tease you too hard about it, though. I used to help her, too. Back in high school.â
And if Jake was trying to stop himself from feeling sorry for Jungwon, he doesnât have to try for very long. He suddenly thinks friendship will be a very hard thing to form. Mostly because he has the distinct sense Jungwon is reflecting on your high school days together rather fondly. Maybe a little too fondly. âReally?â
âYeah,â Jungwon nods. âIâm a freshman, so Iâm a couple years younger than you guys,â he sighs like itâs a terrible thing to be and Jake has never been more appreciative of his own birth date, âbut sheâs been friends with my older sister for years now. ___ was always pretty good at most subjects, but physics gave her a run for her money, so I helped her a bit when I could.â
It makes sense, he supposes. Jungwon was your physics tutor, so you knew you could recommend him with confidence. With all your first hand experience.Â
âYou two are close, then?â Jake hates the way he sounds almost defensive. Hates the way he doesnât recognize the odd feeling thatâs beginning to swirl in his gut unpleasantly.
âWeâve definitely gotten closer,â Jungwon nods. Jake doesnât think heâs imagining the sudden flush on the younger boyâs cheeks. âEspecially since I started university here. My sister decided to get her degree abroad, but ___ and I have still stayed in touch even without her around as the middleman, yâknow?â
âRight,â Jake agrees. To what, heâs not sure. He has no idea if you have the same feelings towards your relationship with Jungwon, if youâd corroborate the fact that the two of you are getting closer, if your cheeks would get a little color in them while you talked about it.Â
It strikes Jake then that he really doesn't know anything about you. At least not anything substantial. And while the dictionary of personal details youâve compiled is still sitting in his bag, he doubts it will divulge things related to relationships. Things heâs suddenly curious about.Â
He can at least feel confident in the fact that youâre not currently dating anyone. He wouldnât have just signed a contract if you were. But that still leaves a lot of gray area, a lot of questions.Â
Are there any recent exes he should know about? Messy situationships that would be glad to land a few punches on him if word of your supposed relationship were to accidentally get out?Â
Jake has no idea, and even less of a clue as to how to find out. But he doesnât like the way those uncertainties settle in his gut. And he doesnât like the way Jungwon says your name.Â
Jungwon must mistake Jakeâs sudden silence as passion for fixing his grades, because the next thing he says is, âSorry, I kind of went on a tangent there.â His apologetic smile does nothing to quell the riot in Jakeâs mind. âAnyway,â he opens his laptop. âEconomics. I figured we could start by looking at the upcoming assignment to see which parts are trickiest for you and go from there.â Glancing at the older boy, he asks, âOr did you have a different idea?â
âNo,â Jake shakes his head. âThat sounds good to me.â And he shouldn't say it, but, âIâve got plans this weekend, so Iâm hoping to get as much of this done as I can before then.â
âOh,â Jungwon asks. Itâs more of an effort to be polite than genuine curiosity. âAnything fun?â
Jake shouldnât. Not considering the conversation you just had. Not considering the contract he just signed.Â
âI donât know. I canât decide if Iâm more nervous or excited.â
He really, really, shouldnât. Butâ
âIâm taking ___ to officially meet my parents.âÂ
The way Jungwon falters is barely perceptible. Jake only notices because heâs watching for it.Â
Jungwonâs brow creases for a moment, putting the pieces together until he realizes that they definitely only fit one way. âYou two are dating?â
Jake tries not to be offended at the shock in his voice. âIs it that surprising?â
âI mean, kind of.â Jungwon is still reeling a bit. âWhen she mentioned that you were looking for a tutor, she said you were just a friend.â
And now Jake has to think of how to play his cards here. He needs to tread carefully, choose his words wisely. There are too many ways he could back himself into a corner, accidentally tell a lie he canât talk his way out of. Thatâs probably, definitely, why you made the point of saying the two of you should leave your friends out of the arrangement entirely. Should only divulge the details if they start poking around first. Which Jungwon was definitely not doing.Â
Ultimately, Jake decides to leave his explanation as vague as possible, hoping that the less he reveals, the less Jungwon will be able to poke at it until his lie crumbles and leaves nothing but the truth in its wake.Â
Shrugging, he says, âWeâve been keeping it pretty quiet. You know how rumors can be.â They can catch fire at the first sign of wind. Can spread before thereâs any chance of controlling them. Kind of like the one heâs single handedly spreading right now.
âOh,â is all Jungwon says. And despite himself, Jake does feel kind of bad for the kid. He feels even worse when Jungwon finds his smile again a moment later and adds, âWell, I hope it all goes good for you. ___âs a great girl.â
But all that guilt is pushed to the side when that odd, unpleasant feeling at the bottom of Jakeâs gut releases a little bit of tension, heaves a giant sigh of relief.Â
âYeah,â Jake nods without thinking. In his mind, he sees a gold dress, a black marker, his name in your handwriting. Thereâs a sliver of truth there, albeit a small one, when he agrees, âShe is.â
âŚ
Saturday night puts you back in the passenger seat of Jakeâs car, a sense of deja vu overcoming you as he navigates out of your apartment buildingâs parking lot and onto the highway. Although this time, he did manage to avoid an argument with your doorman. Mostly because Jake Sim is now a name on your list of approved visitors.Â
And there are more differences to be found. Tonight, youâve traded your evening gown for a pair of dark wash jeans and a sweater that Jake insists his mother will love. The aged bottle of red wine you brought as a gift for his parents has a bow wrapped around its neck where it sits on the back seat of Jakeâs car.Â
If nothing else, Jake has to applaud your insistence that you not show up as an empty-handed guest. Your commitment to the facade is truly admirable, even if it is motivated by the contract you keep safe and sound in the top drawer of your desk.Â
And finally, as opposed to the drive to your familyâs fundraiser, this commute is far from silent.Â
âGood,â you nod, praising Jakeâs most recent answer. Despite his initial protests, he did his studying. And if his string of correct responses is anything to go by, you seem to be a subject he has an easier time grasping than economics. Or perhaps one he simply has more vested interest in. âAnd my top three favorite colors are?â
âOne,â Jake answers seamlessly. âGold, but only if itâs 24 karat. Two, the exact red of the Hermès Satin Lipstick in shade Rouge H. Three is pink. But not hot pink. You like softer shades, like baby pink.â Like that damn contract.Â
âNicely done. My major is?â
âPre-law,â Jake fills in. âBut youâre still undecided on if youâll attend law school after graduation.â
Itâs a tidbit that he finds mildly interesting. Heâs not surprised that like him, like James, youâre following in your parentsâ footsteps. As the daughter of ridiculously successful lawyers, itâs a career path that makes perfect sense for you.Â
And the compassion also has him thankful for the partnership between your families, which has undoubtedly done you both some favors. First, Jake suspects that a few under-the-table deals have likely funded more than one of his childhood family vacations. And second, it adds credibility, at least from an outsiderâs perspective, to the relationship the two of you are faking.Â
He does wonder why youâre undecided on law school, though. If law is your field of choice, it seems like a natural progression. Not to mention that as third-year university students, the two of you are running out of time for indecision. Jake is well-acquainted with this particular reality, but it strikes him as out of character that you are as well. Â
From the outside, at least, youâve always been an image of perfection to him. Someone who has it all together, who has a ten-year plan and the actual conviction to see it through to the end. Unlike him, whoâs still grasping at straws where all matters of his future are concerned.Â
A fact that heâs reminded of when you say, âYou know, I didnât exactly have high hopes, considering your academic track record, but that was perfect.â You shift in your seat, preparing for a challenge. âOkay, your turn. Quiz me.âÂ
Your work has been undeniably easier. As opposed to the multi-page, double sided, single spaced abomination you handed him a few days ago, the Jake Sim cheat sheet still sitting on your night stand was nothing but a small assortment of facts that fit on a single sheet of paper.Â
But now, the subject of your major takes Jake from thinking about your future to thinking about the classes youâre currently taking. Which makes him think of something he hasnât been able to let go of since his first tutoring session a few nights ago. Instead of cooperating, he hands the reins to whatâs been weighing on his mind. âAre you taking any physics classes?â
âUgh,â you groan. âYou were doing so well. And you literally just answered that one. Iâm a pre-law major, remember?â
But Jake needs to know. Doesnât quite have the room to think about anything else right now. âJust answer the question.â
The glance you give him is scathing, but you can sense that heâs not going to let it go until he gets his answer. âNo, Iâm not taking physics.â Jake hates the way that odd feeling in his gut makes a sudden reappearance, hates the way it unclenches at your response. âI havenât since high school. I hate that stupid subject.â
Still, he canât stop himself from offering, âWell, if you ever doââ
âDid you listen to anything I just said?â
âI was pretty good at it in high school.â Heâs only kind of lying. He was pretty decent at it, at least the times he bothered to finish his homework.Â
â... Okay?â You still donât see a point to this sudden detour in the conversation.Â
âSo I could, uh, I could help you out. If you ever have to take it for some reason, I could help with your homework and stuff.â
âRight, because the first person I would go to for homework help is definitely Mr. I Failed Economics Twice.â Jake can hear the sarcasm. He thinks to himself, a little miserably, that if you were actually picking someone to go to, it would probably be the same person tutoring Jake now. Your old physics tutor from high school.Â
Jake will pretend that the way that makes his blood pressure rise is only because heâs worried Jungwon wonât have as much time for their sessions if he picks you back up as a client.Â
âDonât hold econ against me. Theyâre entirely different subjectsââ
âWhatever.â You cut him off. âWho gives a shit about physics? Just quiz me.â
Jake wants to press it. He really does. Wants to ask his real questions, which have a lot less to do with physics and a lot more to do with a certain econ tutor, but itâs not like youâd entertain his curiosity there either. So he relents. âFine.â Trying to remember what he even wrote on the sheet he gave you, he starts with, âMy major is?â
âBusiness.â Slightly quieter, you mumble, âA questionable choice, if you ask me.â
âHey!â Jake protests. âI didnât add any commentary to your ridiculous answers.â And some of them had been ridiculous, indeed. âI mean, seriously. You made me memorize your five favorite necklines.â
âClearly not, since you put sweetheart and off-the-shoulder in the wrong order.â
Jake just blinks. How are you a real person? âYou are actually the most annoying person I have ever met.â
The dig rolls right off your shoulders as you return one of your own. âThatâs hardly even an insult, considering the size of your social circle. Itâs not my fault you donât get out much.â
âItâs like you want me to kick you out on the side of the highwayââ
âAnd show up to your family dinner without me? Yeah, sure.â
âBesides, you know that means youâre admitting to being more annoying than Heeseungââ
âOn second thought, the side of the highway sounds nice. Feel free to drop me at the next mile marker.â
âYeah?â Jake taunts, glancing down at your choice in footwear. Another pair of heels so tall heâs impressed you can walk at all. âYou think those shoes would be comfortable to walk home in?â Taking one hand off the wheel, he leans over menacingly. âIn fact, why donât I break them in for you nowââ
âOkay,â you push back at him in a way thatâs probably unwise, considering the fact that heâs driving. âOkay. No extra comments from me.â You mime zipping your lips with your finger. âYouâre a business major. End of answer.â
Jake doesnât believe you for a second. But after pausing to send you a withering glare for good measure, he continues anyway. âSport I played growing up?â
Much to his surprise, your answer is genuine, concise. âSoccer.â And correct.Â
âPets?â
âJust a dog. Layla.â
As the road stretches on in front of you, back and forth quizzing takes you all the way to his parentsâ house. As he pulls into the long driveway, Jake spares a glance in your direction. You wear an expression he hasnât seen on you before.Â
It confuses him a little, worries him even, until he realizesâ
âHold on. Are you⌠nervous?â
âWhat about it?â Even visibly tense, your gut reaction is to deny, to make excuses. Finally, you admit, âItâs been a while since Iâve met anyoneâs mom.â
Jake almost considers telling you that heâs pretty sure sheâd redecorate one of the guest bedrooms and put your name on the door if she thought youâd like that, but decides against it.Â
âHey,â he reaches for your hand instead, interlaces your fingers. âMy mom will love you.â In fact, she probably already does. âIt will be just fine.â
Jake supposes that divulging just one of her many messages from this week couldnât hurt. Besides, heâs half afraid youâll actually run back down the street the two of you just drove up if he doesnât give you some sort of confidence boost. âSheâs really excited to meet you. That cheat sheet of yours actually came in handy, because she asked me what your favorite kind of cookie is. Sheâs sending us back with a box of homemade snickerdoodles tonight.â What Jake doesnât mention is the fact that heâs never been big on cinnamon.Â
âReally?â
âMhm. So thereâs no need to worââ
âWhat about your dad?â
âMy dad isâŚâ Jake trails off, searching for the right words. âHeâs a businessman. In a lot of ways, heâs difficult. And very set in his ways, which makes him particular. But on the outside, heâs easy to get along with. He wants to make a good impression on people. And even if he didnât, you really donât have anything to worry about there either. His biggest concern is always how things will reflect on the company, and youâre pretty much as perfect as it gets in that regard.â Pausing for a moment, he adds, âAnd we both know my brotherâs kind of obsessed with you.â
And he really did set himself up for it, he realizes, the second you turn to him with a wink and say, âMust run in the family.â Jake wonât even argue with you on that one for now. His mission was to get you out of your head and back to your usual self. The version of you that he knows and occasionally tolerates. The version of you that could probably win an Oscar for playing the role of is fake girlfriend, if you really put your mind to it.Â
So before you can start to linger on your worries again, Jake steps out of the car. Makes quick work of walking around the front to open the passenger side door for you.Â
When he offers you, and outstretched hand, you take it. This time, itâs you that initiates the interlacing of your fingers. Glancing at the expanse of the home in front of you â although mansion may be a better word for it â you take a deep breath.Â
âReady?â Jake echoes your words from your familyâs fundraiser just a week ago.Â
Youâre a little less confident this go around. âAs Iâll ever be.â
Jake, too caught up in his attempts to soothe your frayed nerves, forgets to warn you that Layla can be a bit of a jumper, especially with new people. Sure enough, the first person to greet the two of you as spoon as he turns the doorknob is his favorite family pet. Honestly, Jake is a little more concerned about the bottle of wine in your hands than anything.Â
Especially when, just as he remembered a little too late, Layla makes quick work of giving you an overexcited greeting.Â
When he does finally manage to get her mostly off of you, heâs relieved to note that the alcohol is unharmed. With a bit more trepidation, he lets his eyes wander up to your face. Itâs a safe bet, he thinks, that someone with five favorite necklines isnât a fan of obnoxious furry greetings.
To his surprise, however, the only expression he reads is pleasant surprise.Â
âThis is Layla?â You ask. Jake nods, still a bit strained from the way heâs preventing Layla from trying to lick at your face and leave paw prints on your jeans.Â
But thatâs not what youâre thinking about. No, youâve suddenly been transported to an unfortunate forty-five minutes wasted in a restaurant all on your own. The catalyst of all of this.Â
Because Layla is the same dog you saw while doom scrolling Jamesâ social media profile. You thought she was cute, back then, sandwiched between gym selfies and other photos more telling of Jamesâ awful personality.Â
But now, looking at the way she almost seems to smile while Jake scratches her behind the ears, wraps her up in a big, warm hug, you think you just might like her even more.Â
Youâve never seen your fake boyfriend look at anything with so much⌠fondness. Itâs palpable, all of his pent up love, as he lets some of it loose to shower Layla with it. Everything about him is a little easier, a little more relaxed. You can see it in the set of his shoulders, the absence of tension in his jaw.Â
Most of all, you see it in his smile. Bright, warm, genuine. You donât think youâve ever seen him wear that expression before. It suits him, you think, as you reach down to give her a greeting of your own.Â
âHi, Layla,â you smile, reaching down to pat her on the head.Â
And if that makes Jake turn to look at you with a little too much fondness, youâll assume itâs just lingering remnants of his reunion with his favorite girl. Layla, that is.Â
Youâre pretty sure the two of them could spend hours just catching up, especially when Layla turns onto her back in a silent demand for tummy rubs, but a voice from a nearby room cuts it short.Â
âJake?â A distinctly feminine voice calls. âIs that you?â
âWell,â Jake gives Layla one final pat for good measure, turns his eyes to you as he stands. âShall we?â
You donât mean to be, but youâre nervous again. This is his family, his space, his mother. Not only are you a stranger here, but one thatâs been invited under false pretenses. There are too many things to fuck up, too many ways you could send this evening spinning sideways by accident.Â
Here in the entryway, with just you, Jake, and Layla, things feel peaceful, simple. You know that just a few steps in the direction of his motherâs voice will turn that calm in your chest upside the head. Youâre not ready for it. Youâre not.Â
You donât respond to Jakeâs invitation, but he reads your hesitation all the same.Â
âHey,â he whispers, all the hard edges gone from his voice as he steps a little closer. âSheâs gonna love you.â Again, his hand finds yours, slides his fingers through your own and finds little resistance on your end.Â
She. You donât know how he knows, when you havenât told him, but itâs true. You donât care all that much about pleasing his father and even less so about making a good impression on his brother, but his momâŚÂ
You care. You donât know why, but you care.Â
And you donât know how, but Jake knows.Â
You hope his words arenât empty reassurances as you let him tug at your hand, pull you a little further into his home, wrap you a little more inextricably into the threads of his life.Â
His mother waits for you in the living room. A head or two shorter than her youngest son, she has nothing but a smile for him as she pulls him into a hug, reaching up to wrap her hand around the back of his shoulders.Â
Your hand is still linked with his. The angle makes it somewhat awkward, but neither of you is quite ready to let go.Â
Looking over his shoulder, her eyes settle on you. Breath suddenly stuttering in your chest, your knees feel a little wobbly underneath you.Â
Jake wonât let you fall. As soon as his mother releases her embrace, heâs tugging you closer. He undoes the bind of your hands only to wrap his arm around your shoulder, pulling you into his side.Â
âMom,â he introduces, smiling. âThis is ___,â eyes locking with yours, he adds , âmy girlfriend.â If you didnât know any better, youâd think he was proud of the fact.
And then his mother is looking at you. Really looking at you. Itâs hard not to wither under her stare, hard not to brace for the results of her inevitable appraisal. But where you expect to see scrutiny, judgment, disdain, you only see a smile. A warm one. A real one.Â
âItâs lovely to meet you,â she says, and you almost have the feeling that she means it.Â
Remembering yourself, your role for the evening, you give her a smile of your own. âItâs lovely to meet you too.â You hope your voice is more steady than it feels. âYou have a beautiful home. Thank you for inviting me to it.â Remembering the bottle of wine still encased in your hold, you hold it out towards her. âAnd this is for you.â
âOh,â she beams, accepting the gift. Reading the label, she admonishes lightly, âYou shouldnât have. How did you know this is my absolute favorite?â
Glancing at her son, you admit, âI may have had some help.â
âWell at least one of us got some guidance.â She leans towards you, pulling your arm into her own and leaving Jake behind the two of you. âTell me, what do you prefer? White or red?â
âUsually white.âÂ
Jake rolls his eyes at your answer, or rather, the brevity of it. According to the stack of papers you made him memorize, your real answer isâŚ
Chardonnay with poultry, sauvignon blanc with seafood, pinot grigio with dessert, pinot noir with red meat (unless itâs ribeye, then cabernet sauvignon)...
But it does make him smile, the way you fall into step at his motherâs side so naturally. The way she makes you flush when she gives you yet another compliment on your hair or your outfit or your beauty.Â
Even the protest dies on his lips when he hears her whisper a little too loudly, âAnd how do you put up with him when heâs in one of his moods? You know, the one where he gets all cranky and canât be reasoned with at all.â
At her side, you just giggle. Jake would be lying if he said he didnât think it was kind of adorable.Â
He likes it, watching you and his mom together. Watching her light up at the chance to finally have a pretty girl to fawn over. His mother loves her sons â Jake has never doubted this for a moment â but thereâs a certain kind of connection that only comes with a daughter.Â
Itâs a shame, he thinks, that your own mother is in the habit of squandering it with criticism and shame and admonishment.Â
Watching the two of you now, Jake isnât sure if heâs ever seen his mom enjoy herself more. When the three of you reach the dining room, she insists that you take the seat directly across from her. Even in her excitement, she wonât let anyone fill the seat next to you except for your boyfriend.Â
Itâs sweet, the way she dotes on you. And Jake is content to just watch, for the time being, hoping you and her both enjoy it as long as you can.Â
Until New Yearâs, that voice in his head reminds him. And suddenly, even with the back half of a semester in front of him, the holidays donât seem so far away.Â
The conversation only dies down slightly when his father and brother enter the room. Even in the comfort of his own home, his father strikes an imposing presence. Heâs not cold when he introduces himself to you, reaching out an arm for a firm handshake, but there is no extra warmth embedded in the action either. After sending his youngest son a nod, he takes his seat at the head of the table.Â
James doesnât bother with formalities. Sliding down next to his mother, heâs already a little smug when he says, âHi Jake.â Pausing, he glances towards you. â___.â
âJames,â you return, smile significantly faker than it was moments ago.Â
Jake is debating how worth it it would be if he kicked his older brother under the table when the first course is brought out, interrupting that train of thought.Â
After passing the first set of dishes around and filling your plates, his mother is the first to pose a question. To test your thorough preparation for the evening.Â
âSo,â she asks, taking a sip of wine. âHow did you two meet?â
And itâs such an obvious question. Such a painfully straightforward inquiry and yet somehow, too wrapped up in getting a contract signed and memorizing each otherâs fun facts, itâs something the two of you completely neglected to cover. Â
You both freeze, absence of a mutually agreed-upon backstory making you look like twin deer in headlights where you sit next to each other.Â
A beat passes. Two.Â
You say, âa mutual friendâ at the same exact moment he says, âa class.â
Passing each other panicked looks, you smooth things over with a shaky, âA mutual friend in our class.â After a steadying breath, you add, âWe have a mutual friend in our class, and he introduced us.â
âOh, how nice.â Jakeâs mom smiles. Turning to her youngest son, she asks, âWhich friend was it? Someone I know?â
âHeeseung,â Jake nods, just as you say, âSunghoon.â
This time, Jake is the one to cover your tracks.Â
âMy friend Heeseung and her friend Sunghoon know each other,â he explains. âI guess itâs technically two mutual friends, since we met through them.â
âAnd all four of you are in the same class together,â Jakeâs mom is still beaming. âThatâs awfully lucky. What a coincidence.âÂ
âYou could say that again,â James mumbles under his breath across the table, decidedly less enchanted by the false tale of your first meeting. And considerably more suspicious. His eyebrow is arched when he asks, âWhat class did you say it was, again?â
Your brain scrambles only for a second. âEcon,â you answer quickly. Jakeâs struggles aside, you figure that it's your best bet, considering that at least two of the four people youâve listed are actually in that class.Â
The glare that strikes the side of your face from Jakeâs seat is frigid enough to kill a houseplant.Â
âEcon,â James echoes flatly. And then something a little sinister enters his eyes. His spine straightens, poised for offense, when he directs to you, âI hope Dr. Kang isnât as much of a hardass as he was when I was in school.â
You open your mouth to reply, probably to bite back with something along the lines of the class actually being rather easy, or you having a stellar rapport with Dr. Kang.
But Jake spots the trap before you can fall into it and cuts you off just as quickly. âItâs Dr. Jeong, actually.â Heâs not glaring at his brother, but thereâs no extra kindness in his stare. âIâm sure you remember, since you always say that he was your favorite professor.â
âOh.â Jamesâ eyes slide to his little brother. âThatâs right. My mistake.â But his words make you think the switch in names was intentional bait, not a lapse in memory. Bait you almost fell for.Â
Before you can let the implications of that sink in, Jakeâs father directs his attention towards you, speaking for the first time. âYouâre a business major, too, then.â Itâs not exactly a question, even though he doesnât know for certain. Even though heâs wrong. But men like Jakeâs father donât get to where they are by asking questions. They get there by making assumptions and talking over everyone else in the room until wills bend to their whim and reality is what theyâve made it.Â
Still, Jakeâs voice is steady when he corrects, âNo sheâs a pre-law major.â
Something flashes in his fatherâs eyes, but he says nothing.Â
His mother, on the other hand, passes her youngest son a look. âI think ___ can speak for herself.â
Itâs under his breath, but just a little too audible for comfort when Jake argues, âNot after I just had to memorizeââ
âThe entire case with me!â The sudden volume of your outburst rings awkwardly in the air. Adjusting your voice, you add to your explanation, âWe got a crazy complicated case assigned in criminal law a couple weeks ago.â If the elbow nudge you give Jake is a little too hard, no one bats an eye at the way he winces slightly. âIâve been talking about it so much Iâm sure Jake has practically memorized it.â
Jakeâs father hears what he wants to. Picks through the pieces of what you say and paints his own picture. âItâs nice to see a young person so dedicated to their studies.â No one at the table misses the way his eyes slide over to his second son. âAnd the family business by extension. Iâve always liked your parents,â he nods to you. âAnd theyâve been excellent partners. Youâre going to law school, then, I assume? After you graduate.â
Jake can practically see the answer you typed out for him, words stamped in his brain from the amount of times he forced himself to look over them. My major is pre-law, youâd written in a font thatâs almost as high maintenance as you. Iâm considering attending law school after finishing undergrad, but Iâm still undecided.Â
But then he hears you say, âThatâs the plan.âÂ
Jake canât quite help the way he glances over at you, a question on his face, written all over his features. The two responses canât hold true at the same time.Â
One of your answers, either the one you typed for him or the one youâve just given his father, is a lie. If the way your shoulders round slightly is any indication, he thinks the packet you gave him must be the real one.Â
But as his father nods at you approvingly across the table, you just smile at Jake. Then you shake your head slightly, almost imperceptibly. He reads it as you intend it â a silent signal to move on and act as if nothingâs amiss. A nonverbal request to just let it go.Â
Across the table from the two of you, his mother is the one to speak next, to divert the conversation from one area of dangerous territory to another. âJames tells me that you two were together at your familyâs fundraiser event.â Like Jake considered earlier, itâs all you can do not to kick him under the table at the reminder. That gossipping little shit. âYouâll have to pass on my apology to your mother that we couldnât make it. But I have to say, Iâm surprised the two of you decided to announce your relationship by attending together.â She frowns, but thereâs a lightness in her tone that tells you sheâs not mad, not really. âAnd I still canât believe you made me hear it from your brother!â
Jake, thankfully, handles that one with ease. âWeâve been keeping things pretty close to the chest these last few weeks.â He glances at you fondly, and you have to applaud him. From the outside, you think it must look quite genuine. âWe just liked each other.â Under the table, he takes your hand back in his. You assume that heâs just caught in the moment, forgets the fact that thereâs no way for his family to see the display of affection. âWe wanted to see where things would go.â Turning back to his mother, he adds, somewhat apologetically, âIt was never meant to be some big announcement. Of course, I would have told you, Mom, when we did actually announce our relationship.â Jake lets his eyes fall on his older brother. âIf someone hadnât beat me to it.â
You can see the way Jamesâ hackles rise, and so can she.Â
Sensing the potential for another argument to brew, his mother cuts in again, smoothing over the tension. âWell, whatâs done is done.â Turning to you, she smiles. âAnd weâre very happy to have you here, ___. I hope my son is treating you well.â
Jake isnât sure how you manage to do it without grimacing, without turning up your nose at the lie, but you assure his mother, âHe is.â And your smile looks almost genuine. âThe very best,âÂ
Jake isnât the only one that seems to think that you mean it. Across the table, his mother swoons while James crumples a little. His father just looks mildly disinterested, if anything.Â
And those expressions remain steady for the rest of the evening, more or less, as you and Jake take turns spinning tales of the early days of your romance. He divulges the details of the outfit you were wearing on your so-called first date (a top with a sweetheart neckline, not off-the-shoulder), and you supplement with a tall tale of the time Jake saved you from getting soaked to the bone when he showed up outside of your lecture hall with an umbrella after a torrential downpour began out of nowhere.Â
After a while, even his beaming mother can only handle so much sappiness, and she begins the end of the evening by excusing herself, referencing an early morning tomorrow as her reason for leaving. After giving you both one final hug, she bids you both goodnight. His father follows soon after, sans hug, leaving the table to take an urgent business call.Â
In an effort to escape James and his wandering eye, Jake is quick to excuse the two of you moments later, whispering some half hearted excuse about giving you a tour of the house. To his credit, he does actually lead you around a handful of rooms on the first floor, but the tour is cut short by the time the two of you go up the stairs and step out onto the outdoor balcony on the second floor.Â
The cool autumn air is refreshing, washes away lingering anxieties from a few close calls, a handful of narrow escapes from certain fiascos. From keeping up your hastily constructed lies for an entire evening.
For long minutes, the two of you are content to say nothing at all. And Jake isnât uncomfortable in the silence, but after a while, he still searches for something to fill it. Something to get a conversation going. Something to see where your head's at. He finally settles on, âI canât believe we forgot to come up with a story of how we met.â
He half expects you to say something scathing. To use your wit to insult or blame him for the lack of foresight, but you donât. Instead, you exhale. And then you agree, somewhat amused, âMe neither.â
âI think we did alright, though,â Jake reasons. He hates to admit it, but, âThat cheat sheet idea of yours came in handy, after all.â
Again, he doesnât get the sarcasm he expects. âNo kidding.â And then youâre the one looking for ways to keep the interaction flowing. Something to fill the silence. âYour mom seems nice.â
âShe is,â Jake nods. And he knew she would like you just as much. âSheâs the person Iâm closest to in my family.â
âMm,â you hum. You can see why. Sheâs warm in a way that your own has never been. But itâs not like Jake exactly got dealt an easy hand when it comes to family members. You mean it when you tell him, âYour brother still sucks.â
Jake just laughs. âAnd I wouldnât hold my breath for that to change anytime soon.â
A half smile pulls at your lips. Itâs replaced by a small frown when you suppose itâs time to comment on the last guest of the evening. âYou were right, in the car. Your dad is⌠intense.â Itâs not like you exactly hit the jackpot of parental relationships, but you canât imagine itâs easy for Jake to have a father like that, to have grown up with those expectations, those scrutinizing eyes, weighing on his shoulders.Â
Instead of responding, Jake just looks at you for a moment. His eyes trace your profile, committing details to memory, as you look out at the night in front of you. And then he says, âCan I ask you something?â
You sigh. Youâre still not looking at him, but you can sense the sudden sincerity in his voice. âArenât you going to anyway?â
Jake shakes his head even though you canât see it. âI wouldnât have asked for permission if I was going to anyway.â
A moment of silence rings in the air. And then, âOkay.â
Jake isnât sure what youâre referring to. âOkay, you agree or okay, I can ask?â
At that, you turn to look at him. âBoth, I guess.â
Jake meets your eye, considers the best way to ask whatâs been weighing on his mind for the better part of the evening. âWhen my dad asked you about law school,â he starts, âwhy did you tell him that youâre planning to go? You wrote that you still arenât sure on the paper you gave me.â
You only pause for a moment. âItâs what he wanted to hear.â
âWhat?â Thereâs no evasiveness in your words, but Jake is still looking for clarity.
Sighing, you elaborate, âYour dad didnât want to hear about my indecisiveness when it comes to the future. He wanted to hear about the plan I have. One that would make sense to him. So I told him what he wanted to hear.â Breaking eye contact, you look back out at the stars. âSometimes, itâs just easier that way.â
But Jake still has one other question. He might be pressing his luck, but he asks anyway, âWhy havenât you decided? About law school, I mean?â
Your gaze lands somewhere in the distance, somewhere it might take light years to reach. âWhat do you want to hear?â
For the second time, Jake asks,âWhat?â
Itâs ironic, almost, how easily youâre able to rifle through his insecurities, his inner thoughts. âWhat do you want to hear? Something that will make you feel better about having questions about your future? Something that will make you believe youâll have everything figured out soon?â The stars blink above you, and you ask him again, âWhat answer do you want to hear from me?â
Jake realizes it then, under the glow of fading moonlight, why youâve always been an image of perfection to him. Itâs not accidental, but itâs also not entirely honest. Perfection, he realizes, is your identity of choice â itâs what you think other people want from you. So you construct it, you practice it, you create it. And then you give it. You let people do what they want with it.Â
But Jake isnât asking about your future career plans because heâs trying to feel better about himself. Heâs not trying to stack up your lives next to each other and see how his compares. Heâs not trying to put cracks in the exterior youâve worked so hard to maintain.
But he does want a glimpse of whatâs underneath. Â
So when he answers, he opts for a third option. âThe truth.â Above you, the moon glows. âI want to hear the truth.â
If it catches you off guard, you recover quickly. Youâre not sure what it is about this moment that has you wanting to spill your guts, but you canât remember the last time someone asked. The last time someone cared.
So you tell him, with all your honesty, âI donât want to go to law school. I never have. My mother has made it clear that thatâs the expectation, though. So I canât decide how willing I am to estrange myself completely. To potentially lose whatâs left of our relationship.â
Jake listens. He hears you. He gets it. âWhat would you do?â
Itâs another answer that comes easy, even though the question hasnât been asked by anyone in a long, long time. âArchitecture.â Your smile is small, but itâs real. âI had a great aunt who was an architect. And she always used to tell me, when I was kid, that the secret is to put a little love into everything you build. It doesnât have to be actual buildings, of course. That was just her thing, yâknow? The thing she could always put a little love into, even on the hard days.â You sigh. âTruth be told, I donât hate law. Itâs interesting, and Iâm good at it. But itâs not something Iâve ever been able to put a little love into.â
You turn to him, words still ringing in the air. You ask, âWhat about you? Was business always your calling?â
If you can give him the truth, Jake supposes he ought to return the favor. âTo be honest, I have no idea. It was never a question. It was always a given that I would study business and take on some kind of role in the company.â He turns over your great auntâs words in his mind. âBut I donât think itâs something I have any love for. Not even a little.â
âSo what would you do?â You echo his question back to him. âIf you could do anything?â
Jakeâs answer comes less easily. âI donât know.â You raise an eyebrow. âI really donât. To be honest, I donât even think I could tell you most of the other majors that are offered at our university. Itâs always been business. Itâs what my whole family does. Even Jay, my closest friend, is a business major too.â Jake realizes how odd that must sound, but itâs true. âItâs all I really know.â
âHm,â you muse. He can see the wheels spinning in your brain, the beginning of an idea. âMaybe itâs time for you to find your thing, then. Somewhere to put your love.â
âYeah, right,â Jake scoffs. He doesnât think thatâs possible, and especially not at this point. âI may not ever be the CEO, but I still donât want my dad to disown me. And besides, weâre in our third year. Not exactly the best time to change my major.â
âYeah,â you agree, but Jake can tell you still havenât quite let it go. âI suppose youâre right.â
This time, when the silence between you returns, you let it linger. With nothing but the pale glow of the night sky and quiet whispers of the wind, long moments bleed into each other. You take it all in, let it all wash over you â the stillness, the chill of an autumn breeze, the presence of the boy at your side. Â
And itâs a long time before either of you moves again.Â
âŚ
At this point, Jake really should be used to ominous, slightly threatening messages from you. Still, he canât help but stutter a bit when he checks his phone after another tutoring session with Jungwon the following week.Â
Without any family events looming on the horizon, you and Jake have had a few days to yourselves without any fake dating facade to follow. Aside from the white lies Jake slips Jungwon every now and then, he hasnât seen or mentioned you since e dropped you back off at your apartment after dinner at his parentsâ house last weekend.Â
His thoughts, however, are an entirely different matter. No matter where he is, what heâs doing, they have the very annoying habit of always straying back to the same scene. A moonlit balcony. A cool autumn breeze. The most scraps of truth heâs ever been given from you at once. A thousand misconceptions shattered and reconstructed all in a single moment.Â
Still, Jakeâ not quite sure how to interpret the message that greets him, other than as a very direct threat.Â
You [7:48 pm]: Meet me at the far end of the quad next to the library tomorrow at 2:45 or Iâm telling your brother we broke up and I have uncontrollable romantic feelings for him
Jake [8:02 pm]: Should I be scared?
Heâs not reassured by your reply.
You [8:04 pm]: :)
So Jake is standing on the far end of the quad, beside the library, the next afternoon at 2:42 when he sees you approaching.Â
The first thing you do when you finally reach him is swat at the baseball cap heâs wearing, knocking it askew. âWhat are you, a frat boy?â
âItâs sunny,â Jake defends, fixing his hat. Something youâre well aware of, if the obnoxiously large sunglasses balanced on the bridge of your nose are anything to go by.
âYou know,â you tilt your head, giving it a second thought. âThe hat might be kind of perfect, actually.â Deciding to divulge the reason for your message, you tell him, âI need you to come somewhere with me.â
âWhat?â Jake balks, suddenly thrown by the lack of details. He needs a little more warning than this, if heâs expected to play the role of your boyfriend convincingly. âIs this,â he leans in close, waits for a group of students to pass by before he whispers apprehensively, âa contract thing?â
âNo,â you shake your head. âI mean, donât like, start hitting on other girls in front of witnesses or anything, but we donât have to act like a couple.â
Now, Jake is even more confused. âThen where are we going?â
Never one to give in easily, all you say is, âYouâll see.â
Jake crosses his arms over his chest. âIâm not going anywhere with you until you give me more information.â
âI literally have Jamesâ phone number in my favorites.â
He holds his ground. âAnd I have the right to know where youâre taking me!â
âUgh,â you roll your eyes. âFine. Weâre going to the Student Union Building.â A multipurpose building in the center of campus, itâs a typical place for events that are too large to be hosted anywhere else. Which really doesnât give Jake much to work with.
âWhy?â His question is slow, suspicious.Â
âMy god.â You throw your hands in annoyance. âIâm going to have to start paying Jungwon double if this is how annoying you are when you have a question about something. Just come with me,â you reiterate. âYouâll see what weâre doing soon enough.â
âButââ
It doesnât matter, youâre already grabbing his hand in yours, more or less dragging him through the quad towards the Student Union Building before he can get his protest out. Jakeâs eyebrows are still creased in confusion when you pull him through the front doors and he sees the unusually large crowd of people inside.Â
Then, he sees the banner hanging from the ceiling. His lips flatten into a thin line.Â
âAbsolutely not.â But youâre already behind him, blocking his exit and pushing him towards the makeshift check-in counter.Â
âHi!â The student employee greets, far too cheerfully in Jakeâs opinion. If she notices the way your knuckles are white around his arm, holding him in place, she doesnât comment on it. Jake pulls his hat down further over his eyes. âAre you two here for the Explore Our Majors event?â
âYep,â you beam. And Jake is actually going to kill you. âIâm in my third year here, but my friend Jaââ
âJacob,â Jake intercedes.Â
âRight.â You spare a glance at him. âMy friend Jacob.â Youâre still way too excited when you lie, âHeâll be a freshman soon, and heâs hoping to look around and see all the different programs that are offered here. Do we need to go in a certain order or anything? Or is there somewhere we need to sign in?âÂ
There better not be. Like hell is he putting the name Jake Sim on a sign-in sheet for a major exploration event for freshmen. Itâs not like his father has time to poke around at things like this, but his claws and connections run deep where this school is concerned. And Jake imagines he would be less than pleased to find out his son is wasting his time doing something so frivolous. Or something that could signal any kind of disinterest in the future thatâs been laid out for him, his eventual place at his fatherâs company.
âNope,â she smiles. âEach major has its own table, and majors are grouped by college. So all the STEM tables are over there, for example,â she points over to where a group of high school seniors are flipping through pamphlets. âYou can just wander around as you like and chat with the people at the tables. Thereâs a mix of students and faculty. Oh, and each major should have a pamphlet you can pick up too, if youâd like.â
âGreat,â you grin back. âThank you.â
Again, if she sees the way you practically have to yank Jake by the arm to get him to move, she doesnât comment on it. But once youâre out of earshot, he does lean down to hiss in your ear, âWhy the fuck are we at the Explore Our Majors event for incoming freshmen?â
âWhy do you think?â Your voice is entirely too loud. He has half a mind to slap his palm over your mouth to prevent you from spilling his secrets here in the middle of the Student Union Buildingâs largest event hall. âWeâre finding you somewhere to put your love.â The large group of girls that walks by do a double take and then proceed to take turns shooting him death glares.Â
Jake panics. âWould you stop saying it like that?â
You roll your eyes, paying the group of girls and his worries no mind. âDonât knock my great aunt. Anyway, where do you want to start? Should we go over to the STEM tables?â Pausing to consider, you ask, âOr is your performance in econ more indicative of your math and science skills in general? We could look for liberal arââ
âI just told you this weekend that I was good at physics.â It may have been a white lie, but whoâs keeping track?Â
âOh, right.â You nod, eyes already searching for the table in question. âShould we go there, then?â
âNo,â Jake shakes his head immediately. âI was good at it.â Questionable. âBut I didnât really like it.â A lot more true.Â
âAlright,â you agree. Spinning to look in the other direction, you take him with you âHumanities it is. Or we could always go the fine arts route.â You turn to look at him for a moment, assessing. âYou know, I feel like you would actually be a great dancer. You have the face for it.â
âHas that ever made sense to anyone youâve said it to?â
âWouldnât know.â You shrug. âYouâre the first.â Trying not to read too much into that, Jake lets you pull him along until youâre standing in front of a table with a rather gaudy âJournalismâ banner hanging on the front.Â
âHi,â you smile at the students standing behind it. Jake pulls his hat down a little further. You donât know a whole lot about journalism other than the basics, but youâre pretty sure theyâre also in charge of student media on campus. âYou guys run the student newspaper, right?âÂ
Picking up a pamphlet, you nod as the boy behind the table answers brightly, âYeah, we do.â Heâs proud when he adds, âOur last issue was one of our most read yet. We ran a really great article on the front page about the importance of understanding how economic trends affect our daily livesââ
Delicately setting the pamphlet back down on the table, you glance at Jake before apologizing to the overeager boy, âIâm sorry, but I think Jacob and I are gonna head to the next table.âÂ
ANd then youâre dragging him along again.
âOkay,â you turn to Jake once youâre out of earshot, âSo thatâs a veto for journalism. What about other kinds of writing? You point to a table a few rows away. Thereâs the creative writing table.â
Jake shakes his head. âEven discussion board posts are like pulling teeth.â
âNoted.â Your jaw sets with a little too much determination for his liking. âMinimal writing it is, then.âÂ
The two of you pass several more tables in the same fashion, Jake shutting each one down before you have a chance to so much as grab a pamphlet.Â
Thereâs history, but who cares about dead people? English, but heâs seen the career outlook and heâd rather not study unemployment, thank you very much. Sociology, but he already lives in society. Why would he waste his time studying it?
Finally, you point out a major that he doesn't have anything scathing to say about within the first five seconds. âGraphic design,â you nod towards the table a few spots away. âThat could be interesting.â
Jake hates to admit it, but he kind of thinks so too. He does think visual design is pretty interesting, and marketing and advertising have always been some of his favorite aspects of business. Heâs about to say fuck it and fully embrace Jacob the incoming freshman when he notices one glaring problem. The graphic design table is set up right next to the business table.Â
A nonissue, really, except for the fact that students are helping to run this event. And as you drag him closer, Jake realizes with mounting dread that he recognizes one of the faces spending an afternoon trying to convince high schoolers that choosing a business major will change their lives for the better.Â
He turns to make a break for it before you can reinforce your grip on his arm and physically drag him with you, but itâs too late.Â
âJake?â he hears a horribly familiar voice call. âIs that you?â Turning around slowly, he knows heâ been caught. Jake kind of wishes the ground would open up and swallow him. The only thing he wants to do is melt into the floor.Â
âIt is you,â Jay says upon closer inspection. And because you seem so hellbent on making his life even more painful, you pull him with you until the two of you are right in front of his best friend. âWhat the hell are you doing here?â Jay asks him. âYou said you had a date.â
Butting in on the conversation, your smile is entirely too smug when you turn to Jake. âYou said what now?â
Glancing at you, Jayâs eyebrows furrow as he tries to connect the dots. âYou were telling the truth? Dude, thatâs even worse.â Jay looks at you almost like heâs trying to apologize on behalf of his friend. âYouâre not exactly wine-ing and dining her, here.â
âHi,â you introduce, extending a hand. Jay shakes it warily. âIâm ___. JakeâsâŚâ you search for a good term to use, and finally, with a private smile, settle on, âplus-one.â
âTo an Explore Our Majors event?â That clears up none of Jayâs confusion. He turns back to Jake. âWhat the hell? Are you going on dates with incoming freshmenââ
âThis is my third year,â you interrupt again. âWeâre just looking around.â
âHold on,â Jay pauses, a flash of recognition crossing his features as he studies you for a moment. âYouâre the ___ that Jake was trying to get a phone number from for his brother, right? Is that whatâs going on? Are you making him do a bunch of stupid shit like this to get it?â
You shrug, glancing at Jake. âYou could say that.â
Jake has to give it to you. Youâre a lot better at beating around the bush, at avoiding giving straight answers about the nature of your relationship, than he is. Jay looks more confused than anything at your evasiveness. If James were to somehow hunt him down and inquire about the validity of your relationship, Jake is positive that his friend would have absolutely no idea how to answer.Â
A reassuring idea, other than the fact that Jake is also sure Jay will be hunting him down after this to get the real story, since he couldnât get it from you. Targeting the weaker prey, a classic strategy.Â
âAnyway,â you build yourself an out. âWeâre gonna go check out the graphic design table.â
You tug at Jakeâs wrist, but he stands his ground this time. Thoroughly embarrassed and done letting you pull him around, he tries to back you into a corner with one of your tricks from the fundraiser. âWe should get going, actually,â he argues pointedly. âLook at the time. We donât want to be late forâŚâ Unfortunately, heâs still no better at coming up with excuses, âthat thing.â
You roll your eyes at the obvious trick. âDonât worry.â Your smile is sugary, but your eyes flash with warning. âI canceled it. Letâs go.â
This time when you redouble your efforts to drag him to the graphic design table, he has no choice but to follow, a little miserably. Behind the business table, Jay has zero idea what to make of what he just witnessed.
As the students at the graphic design table start their spiel, Jake is glad at least one of you is paying attention. You nod along enthusiastically while the student representative talks your ear off about the pros and cons of various online photo editing programs, asking well-timed follow-up questions as you expertly skim the pamphlet youâre handed simultaneously.Â
Jake, on the other hand, still coming down from the mortification of being caught, is suddenly a little caught up in the way your hand is still wrapped around his wrist. A light pressure he could easily work his way out of. But despite himself, heâs having a hard time coming up with any motivation to do so.Â
Distantly, he concentrates on the sensation. Your skin is soft, warm. The gentle pressure of your fingers is a tether to you. And in this moment, itâs a reminder that out of everyone in his life, youâre the first to be so obnoxiously concerned with what his interests are, where his passions lie.Â
Despite his rightful protests against attending this event, he can read your intentions behind bringing him here. And it would be a lie if he said he didnât appreciate them, just a little.Â
At this point in his life and academic career, he feels a little bit like a toddler youâve thrown in a pool to try and teach to swim. Itâs hard for him to tread water, to keep his head above the waves, when the solid ground heâs used to is suddenly replaced by new matter entirely.Â
But if Jake is sure of one thing, itâs that he wonât drown. How could he, with the lifeline of your arm still reaching out towards him? With the steadiness of your fingers still wrapped around him? He thinks you just might save him too, if you saw him drowning. Would pull him in and teach him to float on his back. To work with the water instead of against it.Â
To swim, even when the water gets rough.Â
At your side, terms like visual communications and web design and typography all blur together. And Jakeâs focus is still narrowed in on the pulse point on his wrist, the way his heartbeat is entrusted in your unwavering grip.
âŚ
Jake has a well-practiced routine for checking his econ grade whenever results of a new assignment or exam are posted.Â
First, he makes sure that anything fragile or breakable is out of his reach. Then, he lights a scented candle. Setting the new one he just bought a few days ago on his desk, he checks the label again. Lavender Dreams. Itâs all he can do not to laugh, a little miserably. Well, he supposes, thinking back to your words a couple of weeks ago, time to find out if lavender is actually calming.Â
Third, he makes sure he has no other important plans for the day. Nowhere else to be, nothing to do that he canât show up for in a ruined mood. Because that is usually what happens during this little ritual of his.
Finally, his last step is to look up at the ceiling of his bedroom, imagine the sky above it, and whisper one, desperate, âPlease.â
Then he sits at his desk and opens his laptop to greet his fate with a grimace and a racing heart. Today, Jake follows all the same steps until heâs navigating to his universityâs learning management platform. He clicks on the Econ tab, slowly releases a breath he wasnât meaning to hold.Â
His shoulders tense at the notification of a newly inputted grade that pops up, the icon begging for his attention. He inhales deeply, letting the smell of lavender enter his nose and hopefully work some magic in his nervous system.Â
Maybe he should adjust his ritual, he thinks, mouse hovering over the new grade notification. Maybe he should start burning incense or something, cleansing the air of any bad energy before he looks. In his indecision, his finger slips, presses, clicks.Â
And Jake doesnât quite have time to screw his eyes shut before the number flashes on his screen.Â
Oh, he is so fucked.
So, so, so, terribly, absolutely, completely fucked.Â
It shouldnât be a surprise at this point, that the score of his latest homework problem set is aâ
Wait.Â
Jake opens his eyes, just barely, peeking at the screen again.Â
82.
Jake pauses for a moment. His eyes open completely. His brow pulls down in confusion.Â
82. He double checks to make sure heâs seeing the grade correctly, that the numbers havenât somehow been reversed.Â
They havenât. 82. Itâs his real, true, honest to god score. Itâs a B. A low B, but thatâs still the highest econ grade Jake has seen since his third round of the syllabus quiz.
Oh my god. Oh my god.Â
Jake kind of doesnât know what to do with his body, with all of the extra energy he suddenly has. In that moment, he thinks he could do anything. If Jungwon were here, Jake thinks he might actually kiss him on the mouth.Â
82. Itâs not enough to save his grade, not yet. But if itâs a trend that continues, Jake Sim just might finally pass econ.Â
He goes to text his tutor the good news, to confirm their next session, but finds that Jungwon has beat him to it. Fingers still slightly shaky from the excess of nerves, he reads the new messages.Â
Yang Jungwon (Econ Tutor) [7:03 pm]: Hey, I saw that the latest homework grades were released. Lmk how you did!
Yang Jungwon (Econ Tutor) [7:04 pm]: Also, sorry to do this kind of last minute, but Iâm not gonna be able to meet you at our regular time tomorrow. We could reschedule if thereâs another time that works for you? Or we could just wait and meet again next week.Â
Frowning, Jake reads the message again. Heâs still riding the high of a B- and is reluctant to do anything that might prevent it in the future, including missing a tutoring session.Â
Jake [7:10 pm]: Is there any way we could still meet tomorrow? Maybe before our usual time.Â
Jake [7:10 pm]: And I got an 82! Youâre actually a lifesaver
Yang Jungwon (Econ Tutor) [7:12 pm]: Thatâs great!Â
Yang Jungwon (Econ Tutor) [7:12 pm]: Iâm sorry, but I donât think tomorrow afternoon will work either. Iâm going to the university skating competition to support a friend
Yang Jungwon (Econ Tutor) [7:12 pm]: You probably know him actually. Him and ___ are good friends too lol. Itâs Park Sunghoon
Jake rereads the message, sighs. He supposes it makes sense. He canât really fault his godsend of a tutor for wanting to support a long-time friend at one of the most important competitions of his season. Still, Jakeâs a little slammed this week, and the thought of missing a tutoring session is enough to sober him from the thrill of his latest assignment grade.Â
Park Sunghoon. Jake has only met him once â in search of you, or rather, your phone number â and he doubts Sunghoon remembers much of that interaction. Jake doesnât really know anything about him, other than the fact that heâs rumored to be one of the best skaters to come through this school and that heâs apparently good friends with both you and Jungwonâ
Wait.Â
Oh no. Oh no.Â
Jungwon canât go to Sunghoonâs skating competition tomorrow. Because Jake is almost positive youâll be there too, is pretty sure you and Jungwon are probably going together. If thereâs a flare of jealousy in his gut, heâll ignore it for now. He has bigger problems.
Namely, the fact that Jungwon is under the impression that you and Jake are dating. Officially dating, since he knows that Jake took you to meet his family this last weekend. Quite seriously dating, if the lovesick expression on Jakeâs face every time he talks about you in front of Jungwon is anything to go by.Â
And the sole reason Jungwon is under that impression is because Jake couldnât keep his big mouth shut. Because he essentially told him, flat out, that the two of you are very much enjoying the honeymoon phase of your relationship.Â
Still working in a cloud of panic, Jake leaves Jungwon on read for the time being and sends a message to you instead.Â
Jake [7:17 pm]: What time is Sunghoonâs thing tomorrow? Iâll pick you up
You [7:18 pm]: ???Â
You [7:18 pm]: What the fuck?
Before he can think of a reply to type, Jakeâs phone screen is overtaken by an incoming call notification. One that he knows better than to ignore, even as something in his shrivels a little.Â
âHello?â He answers, wheels in his brain spinning as he tries to come up with some sort of explanation on the spot.Â
You donât waste any time. âHow do you even know about Sunghoonâs competition? And what do you mean youâll pick me up?â On the bright side, you donât sound angry, at least. Just very confused.Â
âJungwon mentioned it to me.â Jake decides he can at least be honest about that. âHe had to cancel our tutoring session tomorrow.â
âSo what?â Even through the phone, Jake can sense your exasperation. âYou thought you could squeeze in some econ notes at the athletics center? My god, you are so persistent about the worst things. Leave poor Jungwon alone.â
Poor Jungwon. Poor Jungwon.Â
Jakeâs tone is a little less even when he clarifies, âNo, it has nothing to do with econ. I just want to come with you. To, uh⌠to support Sunghoon.â Itâs a weak explanation, even to his own ears.Â
âYou donât know him.â Your voice is flat.
âWeâve talked,â Jake argues.
âYouâve had one conversation. He thought your name was Jacob.â
âWhich turned out to be a very useful alias for me.â At the event for incoming freshmen you dragged him to unwillingly. âI owe him one.â
Thereâs an extended silence on your end.Â
Jake begs a little more. âI let you drag me to that stupid event last week. You know, I had to run, actually, full on run, away from Jay the other day so he couldnât ask me about it. Just let me come with you tomorrow.âÂ
You hesitate. âI might, if you tell me why you want to go so badlââ
âFine,â Jake sighs. âYou caught me. My secret passion in life is actually figure skating. I didnât start training young enough, so now I have to live vicariously throughââ
âYou are so fucking annoyingâ But it works. âFine.â
âFine, as in, I can come?â Jake knows better than to sound too hopeful.Â
You refuse to answer him directly. âBe at my apartment by four-thirty tomorrow. If youâre even a second late, Iâm leaving without you.â
On the other line, Jake lets his fist fly into the air in silent celebration. Into the receiver of his phone, he says calmly, âGreat. Iâll pick you up, then.â
You hang up without bothering to respond, and Jake returns Jungwonâs message.Â
Jake [7:26 pm]: Letâs just plan to meet next week for tutoring. And thanks for the reminder. You kind of saved me again, actually. Iâll see you tomorrow at the competition
Sighing, Jake sets his phone down.Â
For the moment, the crisis is averted, at least partially. But Jake knows heâll have his real work cut out for him tomorrow. As he turns it around in his brain, the celebratory feeling in his chest slowly begins to morph into dread.Â
How on earth is he going to sit through an entire evening with you and Jungwon without the illusion shattering one way or another? It feels like an impossible task.Â
But then he takes a long inhale of lavender-scented air, looks back at the proud B- still displayed on his laptop screen. If he can pull that off, he thinks he just might be able to do anything.Â
âŚ
Itâs a confidence that Jake is finding hard to rediscover the following afternoon. Just after three, every ounce of self-assuredness Jake has ever had is slowly draining from his body as the clock ticks closer and closer to four-thiry with every passing second.Â
Standing in front of his mirror, Jake canât decide how he feels about the black button-down heâs wearing. Is it too much? Not enough?Â
He knows heâs probably overthinking it, but heâs about to spend an entire evening sitting with you and Jungwon, watching Sunghoon. If you donât think he looks at least a little good in comparison, something in his pride is going to be very, very wounded.Â
On the other side of his bedroom door, Jake can hear Jay poking around in his kitchen. After a few days of successfully dodging him, his best friend finally snuck his way into his apartment under the guise of delivering a package. Still a little terrified to face him and the questions heâll inevitably ask, Jake has been hiding in his room since his arrival.Â
He curses the situation now. If nothing else, Jay could at least provide a set of fashion-forward eyes to help him choose his outfit of the evening. But that would also involve explaining where heâs going, which would only send Jayâs suspicions about you and Jake skyrocketing.Â
Unlike you, Jake is not particularly well-versed in avoiding leading questions. In fact, he regularly does the opposite, if his interactions with Jungwon are anything to go by.Â
Somewhat regrettably, he decides heâll have to use his own intuition for this one.Â
That turns out to mean that Jake spends the next forty minutes trying on half of his closet, pulling out shirts that he hasnât seen since middle school and watching the pile of rejected options pile up on his chair as uncertainties pile up in his gut.Â
Finally, he lands on the black button-up he was wearing originally and decides to make the disaster of his room a problem for later. Glancing at the clock, he realizes with a bit of dread that he needs to head out soon if he doesnât want to miss your threat of a deadline. But then his eyes land on the small handful of ornate bottles on top of his dresser, and he suddenly has a new problem.Â
Running low on both steam and time, Jake decides that facing whatever Jay has in store for him is better than trying to make this last decision on his own. So he scans that array of bottles, picks his two favorite scents, and opens the door to his bedroom slowly, doing his best to delay the inevitable inquisition.Â
Stepping out warily, he sees that Jay has moved from the kitchen to the living room and is currently snacking on a sandwich he made with whatever ingredients he found in Jakeâs fridge as he watches something on the TV.Â
âHey, Jay?â Jake calls out, a little hesitantly.Â
âWhat?â Jay doesnât even turn to look at him. âOh, you decided youâre talking to me again?â
âIâm sorry,â Jake searches for a feasible explanation for his avoidance. Finding nothing solid, he settles with the classically vague, âIâve been busy.â
âDoing what? Training for a marathon? I canât believe you actually ran from meââ
âI realized I forgot my computer at the library,â Jake lies. âI wanted to go back and grab it before it got stolen.â
âWhatever.â Jay doesn't buy it for a second. But he is eating Jakeâs food, so he figures he owes him a little. âWhat do you want?âÂ
Jake moves to stand next to his couch, careful not to block Jayâs view of the TV and annoy him further. Tentatively, Jake holds out the two bottles of cologne. âWhich one of these smells better?â
Jay sends Jake a look of disbelief, sets his sandwich down on the coffee table. âDo I look like a fucking Macyâs employee to you?â
âJust help me out,â Jake pleads. âPlease,â he adds for good measure.
Jay stares at him blankly for a moment longer. âWell, it depends,â He finally concedes. âThe Yves Saint Laurent has more of a causal vibe, and the Giorgio Armani feels like youâre trying a little harder, like you want to be impressive and you donât care if people know that.âÂ
And then he takes a closer look at Jake. At the way his hair has been perfectly styled to look just the right amount of intentionally messy, at the outfit heâs wearing.Â
âHold on, what are you so worked up about?â Jayâs eyes narrow in on his shirt. âAnd is that Prada? Itâs four in the afternoon on a Thursday. Where the hell are you going?â
âNowhere,â Jake replies too quickly, already beginning to retreat to the safety of his bedroom before he can be questioned further.Â
Jay turns in his seat, eyes following Jake accusingly the whole time. âYouâre meeting ___, arenât you? Whatâs going on between the two of you anyway? Why are you being so weird?â
Jake pretends not to hear his friend, closing the door behind him and he looks for his coat in the mess of his room. Finding it, he pulls his arms through the sleeves. Stopping at the mirror, he gives himself one final once-over before turning to leave again. Right before he does, he pauses, weighs his options as he weighs Jayâs advice. And then he reaches for the bottle of Giorgio Armani, sprays it twice for good measure. Before he can psych himself out again, he heads for the front door.Â
He almost makes it, too, but before he can slip out, Jay asks him one last question. âJust answer this,â he bargains from his seat on the couch. âAre you meeting ___?â
âNone of your businessâ is the only answer he gets as Jake leaves his apartment, quickly closing the door behind him to cut off any other opportunities for Jay to catch him in a white lie.Â
And when Jake arrives at your apartment, he has seven minutes to spare. Sending you a message of his arrival, he makes his way to the lobby to greet you.Â
âMr. Sim,â your doorman nods coolly.Â
âElton,â Jake returns, equally as frigid as he reads the middle-aged manâs name tag.Â
Thankfully, you donât keep him waiting long. You make your way down to the lobby before Jake and your doorman have the chance to exchange a few more choice words.
Despite the initial turmoil and the current state of his bedroom, Jake is more than pleased with the clothing choices he landed on for the evening when he sees you.Â
It would be hard to claim that the two of you are matching, exactly, considering how simple both of your outfits are. But as he watches you approach him in a black sweater and light jeans, Jake likes the way it almost looks as if the two of you did it by accident. Synced up so well that even your closets align without you meaning to.Â
And he likes the way it looks like the two of you go together, two pieces of a matching set.
Giving your doorman one last parting wave, the walk to Jakeâs car is short. He doesnât offer to pull the car around this time, mostly because the white sneakers on your feet are a lot more conducive to walking that your heels for the fundraiser a couple of weeks ago. Â
âI assume weâre heading to the Ice Sports Center,â Jake says, putting the car in reverse as he backs out of his parking spot.Â
âYeah,â you nod. Much to his relief, youâre not projecting any annoyance. At least not yet. âBut weâre picking up Jungwon first.âÂ
âWhat?â Jake balks, suddenly reminded of the awful tightrope heâs about to be walking all evening. The way heâs somehow supposed to keep Jungwon thinking that the two of you are enamored with one another without you finding out that he divulged the nature of your fake relationship to your friend.Â
Mistaking his apprehension for annoyance, you shake your head. âYouâre so mean,â you accuse. âFirst you invade our evening and then you complain about picking him up? The poor guy already has to put up with you all night. The least you could do is spare him an Uber ride.â
Jake suddenly has another bone to pick. âFirst of all, why do the the two of you even need an eveningââ
âBecause I never get to see him!â A bit dejectedly, you add, âBetween classes and tutoring and his internship, he never has any free time.â
Jake wonders, somewhat vindictively, if he could start requesting additional tutoring sessions. Burn up whatever remnants of time the kid has to dedicate to you.Â
Instead, he relents. Heâs not going to win any favor from you by doing anything to Jungwon. Not that he needs your favor, of course. Not that he even wants it.Â
So Jake just asks you to give him Jungwonâs address and plots it into his phoneâs GPS without another complaint. But as the estimated arrival time begins to dwindle, so does Jakeâs confidence that he can pull this evening off.Â
With just a few minutes to go, he decides that honestly might be his only way out of this mess.Â
Turning to you slowly, he says, âSo, I kind of have to tell you something.â
You groan. âI hate the way you just said that. Please tell me Iâm not also going to hate whatever it is youâre about to tell me.â
Jake hesitates, âI mean, I canât predict the futureââ
You read his guilt like an open book. Flatly, you ask, âWhat did you do?â
Jake is quick to go on the defensive. âWhy are you assuming itâs my faultââ
Youâre not in the mood for his evasiveness. âWhat did you do?â
It comes out all in a rush, sounds like one long word as Jake lets the truth spill out. âI might have accidentally told Jungwon that you and I are dating.â
Somehow, you understand just as well as you would have if he enunciated clearly. Your voice is dangerously low. âHow, pray tell, did you accidentally tell your econ tutor that you and I are dating?â
âIt just came out, I swear!â Jake tries to dig himself out. âYou came up somehow, and I mentioned the dinner at my parents house. One thing led to another, and now he thinks that weâre dating.â
Youâre still livid, not accepting his threadbare explanation. âI could sue you, you know. You signed a legal document agreeing to not tell our friends and acquaintances anything about our agreement.â
Jake calls your bluff. âThat thing is not legally binding, and you know it. Besides, the wording on that part is so vague, Iâm sure there are a million loopholes. No judge would uphold that in court.â
âOh, so now youâre a contract expertââ
âLook, Iâm sorry,â Jake interrupts, deciding that neither defense or offense are likely to get him much of anywhere. Maybe an apology will do him one better. âI know we agreed to not get our friends involved, but it really wasnât on purpose.â It kind of very much was, but he figures you donât need to know that. âI just⌠Can we pretend, just for tonight?â It sounds reasonable enough to him. After all, âItâs no different than what weâve done so farââ
âYes it is,â you argue. Your fury has evaporated slightly, now just simmering in his passenger seat. But Jake still doesn't get it. âJungwon is my friend. He knows me, the real me. Iâm not trying to keep up appearances around him. I donât want to lie to him, and especially not about something like my relationships. Especially because heâs going to think that Iâm the one thatâs been lying to him about it.â The more you say, the worse Jake starts to feel. âI told him you were my friend.â
It wasnât about you being embarrassed of Jake or not wanting Jungwon to think that you would ever consider dating him. It was because Jungwon is one of the few people that gets you, that really gets you. Itâs because heâs one of your few real friends, someone you donât have to lie to. Someone who accepts your truths as they come.Â
âI know.â For the first time, Jakeâs short-sighted solution to his jealousy doesnât feel so satisfying. He hadnât considered this, the potential fallout on your end. How you would feel about lying like this to someone that youâre genuinely close to. All he can say is, âIâm sorry. I know I fucked up.â
You just give him a long look, silence building between the two of you as you weigh a million responses on your tongue and let all of them die, one by one, before breathing life into any of them.Â
âIâŚâ you finally say. âItâs whatever.â Itâs not. Jake can hear it in your tone of voice, can read it in the way your lips twist. âLetâs just do it,â you agree to his original request. Jake isnât sure why he canât find it in himself to feel good about it. âLetâs just pretend for tonight.âÂ
Jake doesnât know what to say, canât find the words to remedy the situation. Still, your name is a quiet whisper on his breath. He feels like heâs begging, pleading. For what, heâs not entirely sure.Â
You just shake your head, looking out of the windshield. âWeâre here.â
And you are. Jungwon, completely oblivious to your conversation, is all smiles where he waits outside his apartment building, sending you and Jake both a friendly wave before jogging over to the car and sliding into the back seat.Â
âHey Jake, ___,â he greets, unaware of the stifling tension heâs just walked into. âThanks for picking me up, by the way. You have a really nice car.â
And Jungwon is so nice, Jake thinks. So nice and considerate and genuinely pleasant to be around. Things that he controls, things that Jungwon wakes up every day and decides to be. Things that make you like him, want to be his friend.
Things that Jake, as he glances to where youâre still nursing your wounds in his passenger seat, understands with a sickening realization that he has not been. At least not to you.Â
And Jake could pin the blame on a million different excuses. His father or the tight constraints of his life or the way he feels like nothing has ever really belonged to him. But when he looks at you, at your hurt, he knows that his lack of consideration for your feelings is all of his own doing.Â
Jakes turns back to Jungwon for a moment, tells him, âNo problem. Iâm glad we could all go together.â And then he puts his eyes back on the road ahead of him and makes the decision to take a little more ownership of the things he can control. To do his very best to be a little better. To try, really try, to put a little love into the things he builds.
So Jake doesnât protest, when you arrive at the ice rink and slide down into the middle seat, next to both him and Jungwon. Doesn't let the unpleasant feeling that rises in his gut when you give Sunghoon a massive bouquet of flowers and a warm hug after his program do anything but simmer. Doesnât make his feelings your problem, a fire for you to put out.Â
When he excuses himself to the bathroom, he tries not to let the imagined possibilities of what you and Jungwon might be talking about in his absence make him do something stupid.Â
Besides, everything heâs thinking of is far off the mark anyway.Â
As soon as heâs out of earshot, Jungwon turns to you and smiles. âYou and Jake, huh?â He nudges you with his elbow. âI canât believe you didnât tell me. Actually,â he amends, âI can believe that. What I can believe is that you lied.â The accusation is light, teasing. It still hits you like a sucker punch. âYou said you two were just friends.â
But your hurt feelings wonât help you here, and you have tracks to cover. Jake didnât tell you what he told Jungwon, not exactly, so youâll have to do your best not to unravel any of the lies heâs already spun.Â
âItâs new,â you try to explain, thinking of something that would make sense, that would wound Jungwon the least. âI havenât really told anyone.â You mean it when you say, âBut I am sorry for lying.â You wish you werenât doing it still. You wish you could tell him the truth.
âFine.â Itâs an apology Jungwon accepts easily, even if he pretends to hold onto it a little longer. âYouâre forgiven. But only because his car is really nice.â And then, âHeâs good to you?â
âYeah,â you echo the same words you told his mother a handful of evenings ago. âThe best.â
âGood.â Jungwon nods. If thereâs wistfulness there, itâs overtaken by his genuine desire to see you happy. âYou deserve that.â
Youâre not sure why you feel like crying, why everything about this conversation, this situation, suddenly feels so wrong.
âThanks, Wonie.â You melt a little at his earnestness, the childhood nickname slipping out with your fondness. This is what you were afraid of, what you wanted to avoid. Itâs not fair for him, not okay with you that Jungwon is wasting his sincerity on a lie, a false relationship. Itâs hollow when you say, âThat means a lot.â
Whatever reply Jungwon has dies on his lips as Jake finds the two of you again, slides back into his seat. As the rest of the evening passes, your lingering hurt starts to make room for something else. Youâre not sure what to make of how undeniably easy it all is. How natural it feels to be sat in between your childhood friend and your fake boyfriend, trading jokes and smiles and stories that take no effort and make the time fly by.Â
When Jake finally drops you back off at your apartment a few hours later, your anger is mostly gone. And unlike him, you were never particularly good at physics, but you do remember the conservation of mass â how things can change and transform but are never truly destroyed. In the absence of anger, youâre not entirely sure what emotions are beginning to overflow in their stead.Â
But when Jake whispers, âGoodnightâ from the driverâs seat of his car, itâs a sentiment thatâs easy to return.Â
âŚ
As the month just before the holidays tends to do, the rest of the semester passes in a blur of late night study sessions, half-finished assignments, and a concerning amount of caffeine. Both of you slammed with responsibilities of your own, Jake hardly even sees you in those last few weeks. Instead, the promise of the holidays and your familyâs upcoming New Yearâs Eve party are threats that loom on the rapidly approaching horizon.Â
This, then, is a small time apart from each other before your fake-dating responsibilities kick into full gear. Before they eventually as soon as the clock strikes midnight on the last day of December and your contract dissolves just as the year does.Â
And at this point, thatâs a concern for the future. Right now, Jake is too busy trying to pass his classes to have any brainwidth left to worry about other things. Namely, his econ term paper. The hours that he spends alone with his laptop, forgetting to do much of anything else, veer towards a number that is more than a little concerning.
But thanks to his sessions with Jungwon, a report card without any Fs is looking like an actual possibility for him this semester. So Jake doubles down and presses onwards, goes hours and sometimes even days hardly talking to anyone, just to make sure that every last detail, every last word, is as impeccable as possible.Â
And a few weeks later, just as the first half of December draws to a close, Jake finds himself back at his desk, lavender candle lit, pleading with invisible deities as he opens his laptop to check his final econ grade.Â
He lets one breath pass. Another.Â
Slowly, he opens one eye.Â
And there it is, on the screen in front of him. His final econ grade.Â
73. A solid C. A fucking C.Â
He did it. He actually did it. On his third go around, Jake Sim passed econ. And that alone calls for celebration.Â
Itâs nearly the first time heâs seen you since Sunghoonâs competition when you and Jungwon show up at his apartment by surprise with a custom ordered cake the next day.Â
Predict THIS trend, Wall Street, the royal blue icing reads. Jake Sim passed econ!!!!!!
And then it really is the end of the semester, and the three of you are parting ways for winter break. With nearly a month of rest from studies and schoolwork, you and Jake finalize the details of your last two public appearances as a couple.Â
The first is set to be at Jakeâs parentsâ house. Itâs not so much an event as it is the two of you exchanging gifts, making sure that there are witnesses around to corroborate your affection. And the second, of course, will be the New Yearâs Eve party at your family's home.Â
The timeline gives you about a week to finalize your gift to him, something that has proven to be much more difficult than you were hoping. Despite your suggestion that the two of you just pick out your own gifts in advance and say that theyâre from each other, Jake has insisted on going the traditional route. On surprising you.Â
So when you show up at his family's home a few days before Christmas, a small red gift bag in hand, itâs with a bit of trepidation that the present inside will fall flat of whatever expectations your fake boyfriend may have.Â
Moments later, with the glow of the fireplace casting a cozy glow on his living room, Jake holds a self-warming coffee mug in his hands.Â
You feel a bit foolish as you reach for your rehearsed explanation, cite the one time heâd complained about his coffee going cold before he had the chance to drink it. But Jake insists that he loves it, assures you that heâll put it to good use.Â
And when your turn comes to open his gift, you do your best to ignore the slight shake in your fingers as you untie the bow on the small jewelry box he hands you.Â
Sliding the lid off, itâs all you can do for a moment to stare.Â
âOh.â The golden chain of the necklace is delicate, fragile. But itâs the charm at the center that has you suddenly breathless. Itâs a tiny, intricate outline of a house, the same shimmery gold as the chain. The color he memorized as your favorite. And in the center of the miniature home is an impossibly smaller outline of a heart. âOh.â
Your soft words ring in the air for a moment as your fingers hover over the gift, unmoving.
Mistaking your lack of feedback for distaste, Jake is quick to explain, somewhat sheepishly. âItâs, uh,â he scratches at the back of his neck. âItâs supposed to be like what your great aunt said. Yâknow, âput a little love into everything you build.â If you donât like it, I canââ
You shake your head. âI love it.â It makes your gift to him pale in comparison. The truth rattles in your brain a little too harshly. You got him a coffee mug, and he got you this. Something so obviously wrapped up in thoughtfulness and care and affection. But comparison is the last thing on his mind.Â
âI⌠You do?â His uncertainty is still written all over his face. âYou donât have to just say that. Really, it wonât offend me ifââ
âJake,â you look up at him, put your hand on his chest. Physical touch is the only way you can think to stop his rambling. âItâs perfect. I love it. I really, really do.â Glancing back down at his gift, you smile. His eyes are suddenly wide, from your sincerity or your touch, youâre not sure. âHelp me put it on?
Jake nods, swallows audibly. You retract your hand from his chest, let it fall back to your side as you hand him the jewelry box. Carefully, delicately, intentionally, he takes the necklace out, lets it dangle between long fingers.Â
And then heâs moving to stand behind you. The sudden heat of his body is a lure for your senses, a focal point you canât pull your thoughts away from.Â
âIâŚâ He breathes, words suddenly a little strained. You feel the warmth of his words along the length of your spine, deep in your bones. Settling somewhere in the pit of your stomach. âCould you move your hair?â
It makes you feel vulnerable, when you acquiesce to his request, exposing the bare skin of your neck as you pull your hair to the side. âIs that better?â Itâs barely a whisper. He hears it regardless.Â
âYeah,â Jake returns, just as airy, just as flighty. âThatâs perfect.âÂ
And then his fingertips are ghosting the edges of your collarbone, skimming the sensitive skin of your throat as he places his gift around your neck. You donât think you imagine the tremble in his fingers while he fights with the clasp for a moment, drawing in a shaky breath as he finally snaps the mechanism into place.Â
âThere.â He exhales and it travels over your exposed nape.Â
Letting your hair fall back into place, you take a steadying breath before turning to face him again.Â
You mean it when you say, âThank you.âÂ
Jake takes it in, all of it. The moment. The proximity. You. Warning bells are sounding in his mind as his gaze travels from your eyes to the bridge of your nose to the slight part between your lips.Â
He wants it, he realizes. In this moment, there is no doubt in his mind. Thereâs nothing, in fact, but his desires, his wants. And what he wants is to feel your exhale against his own. To lean down and close the distance and let his fingers trace the skin of your throat again, for real this time. Without the excuse of a necklace.Â
He could, he thinks. Itâs a rule you both signed your agreement on, but what are rules, he reasons, if not things to be broken? And he thinks that if he kissed you, you might just let him. Itâs a theory that heâs desperate to test, almost as desperate as he is to learn the exact taste of your mouth when itâs not trading insults with him. And he was never one to let hypotheses remain in limbo for long.Â
Thereâs heat in his gaze and desire in his bones when he leans down, just a fraction of an inch.Â
Your eyes widen. Your breath stutters. Under your skin, your heartbeat races.Â
You say nothing.Â
And then heâs inching closer. Slowly, steadily, until heâs right there, so much closer than heâs ever been. Invading your senses and mingling your exhales and clouding anything coherent left in your brain.Â
His exhale ghosts across your lips. Your eyes flutter shut, and youâre nothing but a slave to sensation.Â
It wonât be him that breaks the spell. Resolve slipping with every passing heartbeat, it wonât be you, either.Â
In the end, itâs neither of those things. Instead, itâs the shrill ping of an incoming notification that has the two of you springing apart, cheeks flaming, heat of the moment settling in your chest like a shock from a live wire with nowhere to put all of its excess energy.Â
âIâŚâ Jake can barely breathe, much less form words. He still wears his desire in his eyes, his want across his lips. Itâs a miracle he even manages to say, âI better check that.â
âRight,â you nod, as if heâs asking for permission, as if itâs in any way under your control. But youâre scrambling to fill the burning silence, to redirect whatever is still simmering in the air. âYeah.â
Jake nearly stumbles over his own feet as he takes a step away from you, pulling his phone off the coffee table. You avert your eyes as he skims over the notification, hoping the heat in your cheeks will fade from sheer will alone.Â
Glancing back at him, you notice the way heâs still reading the notification. Notice the way his brow is furrowed,Â
Without really even meaning to, you ask, âEverything okay?â
âYeah,â Jake nods, but he still looks unsure. His eyes are still on his phone screen. âI think so.â
You raise an eyebrow at the vague qualifier, and he sighs before he continues, âApparently someone submitted an anonymous plagiarism claim on my econ term paper. It went to the dean, and theyâre running an investigation to make sure itâs my original work. That was just the department head letting me know that theyâre proceeding with the investigation and will reach out again if any additional action is needed on my part.â
âWhat?â You balk, earlier tension replaced with one of an entirely different sort. Youâre still stuck on his first sentence. âPlagiarism? How is that possible? You spent literal days working on that stupid paper. Even Jungwon said he couldnât believe how much effort you put into it.â
âYeah.â Jake shrugs. âI know. Thatâs why Iâm not really that nervous.â His expression begs to differ. âI mean, I know that I didnât plagiarize my paper, so Iâm sure the investigation wonât be able to find anything.â
Still, it canât feel good. Not when it took him so long, so much concentrated effort to finally pass. Not when the relief of it all is now stained with the accusation that looms over his head, no matter how much it lacks in credibility.Â
âIs there anything I can do?â You offer.
âNo.â Jake shakes his head, wonât make you bear the weight or the worry of his burdens. âIâm sure theyâre just going to run some more in-depth comparisons to past papers. I really donât think I have anything to worry about.â
âOkay,â you concede, a little hesitantly. But itâs a worry that lingers, even as the afternoon ticks by. Even when Jakeâs mother arrives home and wraps you up in a big hug. Even when she slips you another box of homemade snickerdoodles, this time wrapped up with a bow.Â
Itâs a worry that lingers when you say your parting words, wishing the two of them a Merry Christmas and telling your fake boyfriend that youâll look forward to seeing him on New Yearâs Eve.Â
Itâs a worry that you have no distraction from until youâre on your way out, and your least favorite Sim sibling catches you at the door.Â
âMerry Christmas, ___,â James smiles, all pretenses and no sincerity. Despite his words, itâs like heâs begging for a fight when he asks, âAre you enjoying the holidays?âÂ
If his mother werenât in the next room over, you might just take it upon yourself to wipe the smug grin off his face. Preferably with an uppercut.Â
âOh, you know,â you shrug, forcing a cordiality you donât feel. âItâs the same as every year. Good but busy.â Itâs more than a little vindictive when you add, âYour brother did get me the most thoughtful gift, though.â
âDid he?â James muses. He doesnât rise to the bait as much as youâd hoped. âLooks like little Jake is all grown up. Seems like itâs a good Christmas for him too. Miracles all around. He has a girlfriend to spend it with.â Pausing a moment, he tacks on, âAnd I heard he even passed econ, too. It was about time.â
âWell we canât all be stuck in our ways forever.â You smile. Itâs a polite, family friendly way of letting him know you still think heâs a raging asshole.Â
But if James is miffed, he doesnât show it. You donât like the way his satisfied grin doesnât falter either, not even once. âNo,â he agrees as you turn your back to him, leaving him behind as you walk out the front door. âI suppose we canât.â
âŚ
Christmas morning is an uneventful affair at your house. There are gifts, of course, ones that your mother watches you open expectantly.Â
The jewelry box that sits in your hands is reminiscent of just a few days prior. A fleeting touch that leaves your collarbone scalding. A similar gift that you wear around your neck now.Â
But lifting the lid on the present from your mother, the differences are stark.Â
A pair of silver hoop earrings, beautiful in their own regard and undoubtedly expensive, but silver has never been your color. Itâs something you wish sheâd remember, something you thought she might know, after twenty-one long years.Â
You thank her, words echoing hollowly in the vast expanse of your living room.Â
On the table next to you, your phone lights up with a notification.Â
Jake [9:23 am]: Merry Christmas, ___
You think it might be your favorite gift yet.
âŚ
Itâs three days after Christmas when you wake up to a series of texts from Jungwon.
Wonie [8:12 am]: Hey ___ did Jake ever work on his econ term paper with you? Like at your place or anything?
Wonie [8:12 am]: He asked me not to get you involved, but Iâm getting really worried. This plagiarism claim isnât going away, and he needs as much evidence as he can get that it was all his work
Despite the way your sleepiness usually lingers in the morning, your friendâs messages have you immediately feeling alert. Â
Scanning the texts again, the whole thing really is such an awful twist of luck. Jake finally, finally passed econ and after turning down his brotherâs proposal from months ago, he did it as a result of his own efforts. Jake might not have ever worked on his paper in your presence, but you know he didnât plagiarize it. You can pay testament to the way he was practically a recluse the entire last three weeks of the semester, only ever taking breaks from that damn assignment to occasionally eat, sleep, or bathe.Â
And itâs so bizarre, you think. Jake mentioned to you that everything blew up because of an anonymous accusation. Itâs not like his paper was caught by some online plagiarism checker. No, someone intentionally went to his professor and claimed that the work was stolen. Someone who wanted to start this fire and watch Jake struggle with the flames.Â
It makes no sense, none at all. Who on earth wouldâ
Your train of thought cuts off abruptly. Alone in your childhood bedroom, you know exactly who would do that.Â
And, one Google search later, you know exactly where to find him.Â
âŚ
Youâre not exactly surprised that the Sim Corporation building is up and operational during the holidays. If anything, the employeesâ end-of-the-year burnout works to your advantage as you sneak right by the secretary at the front desk, bypassing the appointment system that must surely be in place for the CEO-to-be.Â
The elevator ride is slow. Agonizingly slow. And you should be using this time to think, just like you should have been doing on the drive here. You should be figuring out which cards you can play and how exactly youâre going to make Jakeâs weasel of a brother admit to what heâs done and retract his idiotic, completely fake accusation against his younger sibling.Â
But the only thing your brain has room for right now is rage. And as the elevator ascends, all your anger can do is heat further and further, releasing steam until itâs boiling over, clouding your judgment and making you see red.Â
When the elevator finally lets you off on the thirty-sixth floor, your strides eat up the ground until you're standing in front of the door youâve been looking for.Â
You don't bother to knock.Â
Unsurprisingly, James Simâs office is as completely devoid of life and personality as its owner. Covered floor to ceiling with the stark furniture that wouldnât look out of place in an upscale Ikea ad, there are little to no personal touches, no hints of anything that might make you think James has any kind of redeeming qualities.Â
And the only acknowledgement your least favorite Sim brother gives you behind his desk are two slightly raised eyebrows.Â
â___.â He jots something down on a notepad in front of him. Probably writing a reminder to fire the secretary that let you up without notifying him. âTo what do I owe the pleasureâ
Youâre in no mood for games. âCut the bullshit.â
Jamesâ pen pauses. He glances up at you.âIâm afraid I donâtââ
You wonât hear it. âI said, cut the fucking bullshit, James. You and I both know exactly why Iâm here.â Your chest is already heaving as you list your demands. âBack the fuck off from Jake, retract your stupid plagiarism claim, and let him enjoy the holidays in peace.â
James doesnât give you the courtesy of acknowledging anything you just said. Instead, he demands firmly, âBreak up with him.â
âWhat the fuck?â Youâre not sure how itâs possible, but your annoyance multiplies tenfold. How dare he assume he has any say in your relationship, anything at all related to you or his brother. âWhy would I listen to anything you tell me to do?â
âYou want me to retract the claim,â James echoes evenly, enunciating so slowly itâs patronizing. âOkay, fine.â He lays his hands out in front of him as if heâs offering some generous, benevolent deal. âThen end the relationship.â
You wonder how much damage it would do if you throw the chair sitting next to you at his head. âAre you actually threatening me right now?â
âNot a threat.â He shrugs, all too nonchalantly. âJust a deal.â
Your strides eat up the ground between the door of his office and his desk. Laying a palm down on the surface in front of you, you point an accusatory finger in his face. âListen here, you little shit. You and I both know damn well he wrote every word of that term paper on his own, so I suggest you listen to me and back the fuck off while Iâm still asking nicely, orââ
âOr what? Hate to break it to you sweetheart, but between my brother and I, thereâs only one person Dr. Jeong is likely to believe.â
âWhat are you, a cartoon villain?â Even this angry, his stupidity is astounding. âYou still need evidence. Which you donât have. Because he didnât plagiarize shit, and especially not from you.â
James doesnât falter. âInteresting that you mention that, actually. You know, I asked Dr. Jeong about you as well, and he said youâre not a student in his class.â Despite yourself, your features slacken slightly. âI thought that was odd, considering thatâs how the two of you said you met. There are a lot of things that donât add up about the two of you, actually.â
Thereâs a threat there, when he meets your eye and says, âSo it kind of seems like you know already, that evidence isnât just found. Itâs made. And Jakeâs term paper is different from the one I submitted, yes, but I also have a copy of what he submitted on my personal computer. Itâd be pretty easy to ask my secretary to adjust a few timestamps here and there. To make it look like it was written years ago. Stolen by the younger brother thatâs always been horribly jealous of me.â
âWhat the fuck is it to you if he passes econ?â You still donât understand why heâs doing this. âYou graduated university three years ago. Your life is here now, in this office. Youâre in the process of becoming CEO of a multi-billion dollar company. Seriously, donât you have better things to waste your time on? I mean, this is what most people call âpeaking in collegeâ and usually try to avoidââ
James reveals his motivation with two small words. âWhy him?â
But you still donât get it. âWhat?â
âWhy him?â he repeats, and it sounds so, horribly, terribly jealous. âLike you said, Iâm older, smarter, more successful. So why him?â
âAre you joking?â Itâs all you can do to not drop your jaw. All of this because you never let him take you on a date? When itâs his fault he missed the first one? The sheer audacity of it all is astounding. âFirst of all,â you refute. âI did not say any of that. And second, if thatâs actually all you have to say about yourself, then put that shit in your Tinder bio and see where it gets you. I have no interest in hearing it.â
James wonât let it go. âThatâs not an answer.â
âWhy do you even careââ
âWhy him?â He wonât stop, not until he gets his answer.Â
âBecause I like him.â Itâs spilling out before you can stop it, before you can give it permission. âBecause heâs kind and funny and he listens to me and cares about what I have to say. Because Iâm more than just a sum of my parts to him, and the last thing he cares about is my social status and how it stacks up against his. Iâm not some tool to impress his parents or a topic of conversation to brag about with boys at Sunday morning golf.â All of the things youâre sure would be a part of any kind of relationship with James. Because no matter what role heâs given in his fatherâs company or what grade he passed econ with, Jake is capable of something James never has been. âBecause he treats me like a person.â
Across from you, James simmers with barely controlled rage. With the truth at his feet, he has nothing left to do but be angry with it. Destroy what he can in the wake of his fury, like a toddler throwing a tantrum. âBreak up with him.â
âWhââ
âBreak up with him, or I swear to god I will submit plagiarism claims to every professor heâs had in the last three years.â
Itâs a threat you know heâll make good on. Itâs a battle youâre afraid heâll win, no matter how fake all of his so-called evidence is. And it will all be your fault. You will be the reason that Jake has to take econ again, and thatâs only if he isnât expelled on plagiarism claims. You will be the reason his father hands him another round of disappointment. Youâll be the reason Jake ends his day with a little more shame to tuck away and revisit on a sleepless night.Â
And you were always on a timeline, anyway. This relationship was one that always came with an expiration date, even before it began.Â
It should be easy to concede, given the stakes, given the alternative. Youâve known since the beginning that the rapidly approaching New Year would be the end of it all, that you and Jake would become entirely separate entities again in just a handful of days. Still, you have to force the words out through gritted teeth, âGive me until New Yearâs.â
James scoffs. âI donât think youâre in any position to be making demandsââ
âIâll do it.â You double down, agreeing to take Jakeâs fate into your own hands. âIâll end things. Just⌠just give me until New Yearâs.â You can do it, you think. It was inevitable anyway. âAnd retract the claim now,â you stipulate. âIf I go back on my word, you can resubmit with all your evidence once next semester starts.â
Across from you, behind his desk, James weighs your offer. He must sense the finality in your tone, the determination in your gaze. âFine,â he finally says. âYou have yourself a deal.â
You donât take his outstretched hand, donât seal your agreement with a handshake. Heâll have to trust your word.
It makes no difference to him. His smile is smug when you turn to leave. You hope his satisfaction burns on the way down.Â
Your drive home is slightly blurry. Partially because of the rain that has begun to fall. Mostly because of the tears that gather at the corners of your eyes and threaten to fall. You wonât let them, but they cloud your vision anyway, demand your attention.Â
That night, a message from Jake lights up your phone just as youâre sitting down for dinner.Â
Jake [6:57 pm]: Good news! The whole plagiarism thing turned out to be nothing. Just got an email from the dean that theyâre dropping the investigation. Iâm officially freeeeee from econ (again)
If nothing else, you have to give James credit for efficiency. And it should feel like a war won, a job well done. But staring at the message on your phone, the only thing you can think of is how soon New Years is. How little time you have before youâll have to say goodbye.Â
âŚ
Thereâs never much to do, in that liminal space between Christmas and New Yearâs. Minutes and hours and days blur together as the end of the year passes by, preparing to give way to a new one.Â
Jake, giddy with the recent resolution of his econ grade and desperate to get away from the stifling atmosphere of his family home, tries to fill some of that time by spending it with someone heâs starting to realize he cares a lot about. Contract or not.Â
First, he sends you a message asking if youâve been ice skating this winter yet. He does his best to only be a little hurt when your rejection comes quickly, claiming in your response to have another obligation that day. Second, he invites you to drive around and look at holiday lights with him. When you tell him you already have other plans, he passes another lazy afternoon alone instead. Again, itâs a little hard not to dwell. A little hard not to let it sting. And by your third rejection â this time to take Layla on a walk with him â his hurt starts to give way to suspicion.Â
But itâs not like you can avoid him forever, not with your familyâs annual New Yearâs Eve party quickly approaching. The last big event before the termination of your contract, youâve been counting on him to spare you from your motherâs scathing comments and attendeesâ hushed wonderings about when youâll find yourself a boyfriend.Â
And then it will be a new year, a new semester, a fresh start. As the clock strikes midnight, the end of your contract.Â
Privately, Jake is a little relieved that it will be over so soon. That he wonât have to keep up pretenses any longer. That he wonât have to stick to your rules.Â
Heâs not sure when it happened, not exactly. Somewhere between all the bickering and arguing and fighting, but heâs come to enjoy the way you swept into his life like a hurricane and set up a home for yourself right where his heart is.Â
He hopes youâll stick around long after the ink on your contract has dried. He hopes that the two of you will get a chance to figure out what exactly those feelings between you are without worrying about how they look from the outside. How theyâre perceived by James or your mother or his father.Â
So Jake will be patient if he needs to be. Heâll accept your excuses, real or not, and look forward to seeing you on New Yearâs Eve, relishing the fact that itâs the last time his presence at your side will be based on a lie.Â
And when New Yearâs Eve finally comes, he adjusts the tightness of his tie, looking at himself in the mirror.Â
Midnight, he thinks. It will be here soon, quicker than he knows. And all the emotions that heâs been tucking away, all those little moments between the two of you that have fizzled and sparked and ultimately ended in nothing, will fade away with it.Â
In their place, he thinks the two of you just might manage to find something solid, something real.Â
âŚ
Halfway across the city, in your childhood bedroom, you turn to Sunghoon. âWhat do you think?â
âYeah,â Sunghoon nods appreciatively from his seat on your bed. âYour fake boyfriend is gonna pee his pants.â
âGross.â Your nose scrunches. âWhy would you say it like that? And stop calling him my fake boyfriend.â
âWhy?â Sunghoon ignores your first question. âThatâs what he is, isnât he?â
And that, you think, is another reason why you didnât want your friends getting involved in this little scheme between you and Jake. But Sunghoonâs flight home was canceled due to inclement weather, and you werenât about to make him spend New Yearâs Eve alone. The only problem with him spending it at your familyâs party is that he needs to be well-versed in the lies you and Jake have been spinning for the last couple of months to keep the last few hours of your fake relationship believable. So, a mimosa and an explanation of a contract later, Sunghoon is privy to all the gory details. But the last thing you need is reminders of that.Â
Reminders of him. Reminders of what youâll have to do in a few short hours. So you redirect the conversation.Â
âReally?â You look at yourself in the mirror again. âDo you like this one better? Or should I wear the red dress?â
âNo, definitely that one.â Sunghoon shakes his head. âIt looks really good. And everyone knows that black is better for New Yearâs anyway.â
As you give yourself another once over, Sunghoon raises an eyebrow. âWhy are you so nervous, anyway? Trying to impress your faux beau?â
âStop pretending to know French,â you threaten. âor you can actually be homeless for New Yearâs for all I care.â
âCâmon,â Sunghoon sighs, ignoring the bluff. âYou look great. I think so. You mom will think so. Jakeâs definitely gonna thinkââ
âHow many times do I hââ
âSo stop worrying so much, and letâs head downstairs.â Sunghoon stands from your bed, nodding towards the door. âIâm sure heâll be here soon, anyway. Do you really want to leave him to the mercy of your mother?â
Point taken. You absolutely do not. With one final swipe of lip gloss, youâre pulling on your heels. Itâs just in time too. Barely is the second one strapped on before the message from Jake pings through. Heâs here.Â
âIs that him?â Sunghoon holds his arm out for you, jerks his chin towards your phone. âShall we go save your man from the she-devil?â
You donât even bother to correct him, to reiterate that Jake is most definitely not âyour man,â as you hook your hand around his elbow, letting him pull you out of your room and towards the stairs.Â
At this point, Jake is not unused to the extravagance of your familyâs events. But as he enters your childhood home, he canât help but be a little floored. Itâs a house that would be impressive in its own right. Spacious and luxurious down to every last detail, the place practically screams wealth. But tonight, it really outdoes itself.Â
The black and gold decorations shimmer just the right amount â enough to catch the ambient light beautifully without being garish. Every available surface is impeccable, covered with drinks and food and decor so lavish it would be almost laughable if it werenât so impeccably done.Â
Jake strains his neck over the crowd of equally done-up party guests, tries to peer around all the gowns and evening wear until he finds the figure he has memorized. He thinks he might see your mom, over chatting with a group of attendees, but no matter where he looks, he canât seem to locate you.Â
Not until he glances at the spiral staircase on the outskirts of the room, does a double take at where you make your way down the ornate steps in an evening gown. Itâs the same inky, midnight black as his suit, hugging and flowing and cascading in all the right places. Letting his gaze linger, he would have a hard time keeping his jaw closed if it werenât clenching so tightly.Â
He doesnât mean to let it happen, the flare of jealousy that starts deep in his gut and spreads the length of his spine like a disease. But he canât help it. Not when you look like that, not when youâre making an entrance and youâre not alone. No, youâre walking down the stairs accompanied by, on the arm of, Park Sunghoon.
Jake decides then and there that he hates figure skating. The glass of champagne in his hand suddenly feels awfully breakable.Â
But then you spot him too, and some of the tension simmers, brightens, turns to something else entirely. When your gaze lands on his, your wide, genuine smile is almost enough to set him at ease. Almost.Â
Cutting through the crowd, you and your unwanted chaperone make your way over to Jake.Â
âHi,â you breathe. Your hand is still on Sunghoonâs arm.Â
âHi,â Jake returns. He canât take his eyes off it.Â
Gaze darting between the two of you, Sunghoon is the one to gently but firmly remove your grip from his elbow. If itâs any consolation, you hardly seem to notice.Â
Still, Jakeâs shoulders are unnaturally tense, something Sunghoon takes note of. He just rolls his eyes. Itâs not like either of you are looking at him to see it, anyway.Â
Finally, after the silence lingers a little too long, he says to Jake, âYeah, you donât have to do that around me.â
âDo what?â Jake spares him only a momentary glance before letting his gaze rest on you again.Â
âThe whole overprotective, jealous boyfriend thing.â Sunghoon calls his game in two seconds flat. âYouâre pretty good at it, though. Iâll give you props for that.â
That grabs Jakeâs full attention. âWhat are youââ
âI know about you and ___âs contract. Donât worry,â he mimics pulling his lips shut like a zipper. âYour secret is safe with me.â
Jake looks to you again. âYou told him?â He canât decide if it makes him feel better or significantly worse.Â
You shrug. âI wasnât sure how else to make sure he didnât blow our cover tonight.â Besides, you add silently, how much damage could it do? After all, itâs our last night.Â
Sunghoon glances between the two of you again, decides he does not want to be a part of this particular interaction any longer. âIâll see you two later. Iâm gonna go check out the hors d'oeuvres.â Turning to leave, he claps a hand on Jakeâs shoulder. âYour girl could probably use a glass of champagne.â
Sunghoon makes a beeline for the kebabs, and then itâs just the two of you. And Jake might be hesitant to follow advice from your friend, but he grabs a glass from the next waiter that passes anyway, hands it to you seamlessly as you offer him a quiet, âThanks.â
Itâs easy, just like always, to fall into your routine. His hand finds the small of your back, and you lean into his embrace just the right amount. You can tell itâs working, that the guests you mingle with are charmed by how smitten the two of you seem, that everything you do makes them reminisce on their own long passed days of young love.Â
Even the brief conversation with your mother is painless as she offers a stilted compliment for your dress and wishes you both a happy semester ahead.Â
But you canât quite get your smile to reach your eyes, canât quell the anxiety swelling in your stomach as the night marches on and the clock ticks closer and closer to midnight.Â
Jake can sense your unease, your trepidation, but he has no idea whatâs causing it, can only guess at what has your eyes darting around the room like a mouse watching for a cat.Â
Incorrectly, he wonders if itâs the crowd thatâs getting to you, the chaos of so many bodies all in one space. Trying to offer a reprieve, he asks if thereâs anywhere quieter the two of you could go.Â
Itâs not exactly what youâre looking for, not the solution you need, but you still lead him to the second floor, out onto the balcony that overlooks your backyard gardens. Itâs similar to the place you and Jake ended your night at his family dinner a handful of weeks ago.Â
Even away from the crowd, the lines in your bare shoulders are tense, fraught with unvoiced worries. The inevitability of the end.Â
The music is fainter out here, but the rhythm is still easy to track. Jake thinks you just need a distraction. So he holds out a hand in invitation. âDance with me?â He asks.Â
You shouldnât, not when it will only make all of this worse. Not when there are no eyes out here, no one to convince you that youâre still just pretending.Â
But resistance has always been futile. And you canât find it in you to say no.Â
Under the glow of this yearâs last bit of moonlight, you intertwine your fingers with his, let him draw you close as he wraps your hands around the nape of his neck, links his own across the small of your back.Â
Itâs not dancing, not really. Not as the two of you draw nearer under the pretense of staying warm. Not as your bodies barely move through space, just swaying slightly, in time with the harmonies that spin and twist and crescendo and fall below you.Â
Jake knows better than to press his luck. But the day is dying, and so is your contract. What are a few minutes anyway, in the grand scheme of things?Â
Leaning closer, he lets his forehead rest against your own, noses millimeters apart. âItâs almost midnight,â he whispers. The end of it all. The start, he hopes, of something entirely new. Something that belongs only to the two of you. In just a few moments, heâll get to let his desires lead his actions, not the agreement he signed his name to.
âMm,â you hum in agreement. He feels where it vibrates in his chest.Â
âTen,â he hears the crowd inside chant in unison. The countdown has begun. The New Year is nearly here.Â
âNine.â He pulls you a little closer, hands pressed a little tighter to the small of your back.
âEight. Seven. Six.â You sigh, and itâs lost somewhere against the skin of his throat.Â
âFive. Four.â One of his hands begins to move, traces the length of your spine, finds a new home against the curve of your jaw.Â
âThree.â Using the gentle guidance of his thumb, he angles your face, just slightly.
âTwo.â Around you, the world holds its breath. The two of you do the same.Â
âOne.â And then heâs closing the distance, lips against yours as exclaims of âHappy New Yearsâ are lost somewhere in the wind.Â
He may have brought you here, but youâre just as greedy, hands around his neck pulling him down further until the angle has you reeling. His mouth parts against yours, and youâre not quite sure if your eyes are open or closed. Youâre seeing stars either way.Â
Jake pulls you closer, and itâs not enough. Heâs desperate for it, for something, for closer, for more. Itâs everything that he imagined. Countless times in the darkness behind closed eyelids in the privacy of his own thoughts. Itâs a million times better.Â
He canât focus on anything, canât do anything but feel, give way to the shape of sensation. He wants to let his senses drown, wants to die and be reincarnated back into this moment just for the chance to live it again. Wants to wash away anything that isnât tethered to sensation, to the urgency in his gut, to you.Â
The first in a series of fireworks lights up the sky behind you. The booming echo has you jumping in your own skin, giggling against his lips at the irrational fear. Jake thinks this must be heaven. He must have died doing something wonderful, and this must be his eternal reward.Â
Your amusement lasts moments longer before heâs doubling down, pulling you in again until youâre both well and truly breathless. Lip gloss a mess on both of your mouths, chests heaving as you finally break for air. The space between your bodies is miniscule, meaningless. In this moment, youâre a single entity with nothing but the desire for more.Â
Fireworks continue to burst behind you as the sun sets on the contract that bound you together. His hands are still pressed against the small of your back, and you think the fabric of your dress must be nothing but a figment of your imagination. The only real thing is the heat of his skin on yours.Â
The sound of your name whispered against your skin is something youâre afraid youâll remember for a long, long time. He sounds desperate, where he repeats it. Pleading. Longing.Â
But the fireworks are a symbol of a new year. An expiration date on an agreement. A deadline on a deal.Â
Jake whispers your name once more, and you savor it for just a moment longer. Then, you carefully disentangle yourself from his grip. Most of it, at least. The hands against your back allow you space, but donât stray from your spine.Â
Still encircled in the arms of feelings that were never given the chance to take flight, you try to turn blows into kisses by whispering them softly, âI think we should end this.â
Itâs presumptuous, on your part, to think that there is anything to end. You feel a little ridiculous saying it when you both signed your agreement long months ago. But your head is still spinning and your heart is still hurting. This is what it feels like, you realize. To mourn for the future. To grieve all of the what ifs and maybes and almosts.Â
Across from you, Jake stokes your fears. âWhat? End what?â
âThis.â You sigh. You canât look him in the eye. âAll of it. Itâs officially the New Year now. We can stop going to things as each otherâs plus-ones. The fake dating. Everything.â Youâre rambling now, but you canât help it. Youâre afraid that if you stop to think, youâll propose something else entirely. Something you know you canât have. Something that will only ruin everything Jake has worked so hard for. âWe can tell our families it was mutual â fizzled, like you said.â
Jake releases his grip on you, severs that last bit of connection. It takes every ounce of your willpower to bite back your tears.Â
âWoah, slow down.â His brow creases in confusion. His words are still gentle; he still handles you with care. âWhere is this coming from?â
âI justâŚâ You trail off, doing your best to find steadiness in your voice. âThis was our agreement. And itâs served its purpose. Besides, itâs a new year, you know? No point in starting it off with lies.â No matter how much he searches for it, youâre still avoiding his gaze.
Jakeâs cheeks are flushed â a combination of things. The taste of champagne thatâs fading on his tongue, replaced by something sweeter. The gentle midnight breeze. The aftermath of a kiss that he still wears on his lips. âIâŚâ Suddenly, he finds it very difficult to breathe. âThatâs all this is to you? A lie?â
And you wish he would just let this be a clean break, would stop pressing, stop making you say things you donât mean. But you need him to believe it. That this is well and truly done. âI mean, we got what we wanted, didnât we? You passed econ, and I got my mother off my back for a bit. This was the date we agreed to end things on. It doesnât make sense to keep dragging things out.â
Jake is suddenly unsure of many things, and most immediately, himself. Heâs not sure how to explain it to you, here on the balcony, with the bitter taste of something that stings all too much like rejection sitting heavy in his throat. That heâs pictured it a million times. You and him, together because it lets you both breathe a little easier, because it feels a little bit like coming home. Not because of a contract or your family or his brother.Â
He doesnât know how to tell you that every time he goes to a cafe, he marks a mental note to ask you what your favorite kind of coffee is. Doesnât know how to tell you that every time he passes the corner table on the third floor of the library or the Student Union Building, the only thing he sees is your face.Â
Doesnât know how to thank you for helping him pass econ, for being the boost of confidence he needed to finally stand up to his brother for once, for making him think that he might not be as much of a failure as everyone else seems to think he is. For believing in him.
He doesnât know how to thank you for being in his life, for making it a little better. For putting a little love in the parts of him that he thought would always be consumed by anger and bitterness and resentment.Â
Doesnât know how to tell you that itâs not just a contract to him. Not just a lie. That it hasnât been for a long, long time.Â
Instead, he listens, motionless while you whisper, âThank you for tonight.â
He knows your voice is wavering. He knows your resolve is crumbling. But he doesnât know why.Â
So he watches, still unmoving, as you turn to walk away from him. Left alone on the balcony with no company but the stars, Jake Sim has nothing but a million regrets and the horrible, irrevocable feeling that heâs done something terribly wrong.Â
âŚ
âYou look terrible.â
âThanks, Sungoon.â Your voice is flat, no energy for any real malice. Sarcasm, though, you can muster. âYou really know how to make a girl feel good.â
âIâm just saying.â Heâs still looking at you like youâre a particularly unsightly piece of roadkill he narrowly avoided colliding with. âWould it kill you to do something about those dark circles? I donât know, maybe, like â and Iâm just throwing out ideas here â sleep?â
Youâve tried. You have. But no matter what you do, rest canât seem to find you easily these days. And aside from that, itâs the moments just before sleep that youâve started to fear the most. In the dark, with your eyes closed, the only thing you see is the confusion, the unmistakable hurt on Jakeâs face as you walk away from him for the last time.
âLook,â Sunghoon sighs, suddenly serious. âItâs just⌠Iâm a little worried about you, to be honest. Did something happen on New Yearâs? With you andââ
âIâm fine.â You cut him off. The last thing you want to hear is the sound of his name, the reminder of what youâve done for the sake of preserving his future. âIâm just tired, really.â You try to smile, and itâs far from convincing. âItâs been a long few days.â
Sunghoon wears his doubts as plain as day, but he wonât press the issue for now. âIf you say so.â He does need you to take care of yourself, though, at least a little. âAt least come eat something.â Suddenly grinning, he whispers, âI snuck in some instant ramen behind your momâs back. Câmon, we can go make some. We can even get fancy with it, if you want. Iâll fry you an egg and everything.â Heâs pulling out all the stops, a testament to how terrible you really do look.Â
But it works. Or itâs enough to get you out of your room, at least. Stomach grumbling, youâre about to tell Sunghoon to make it two fried eggs when the two of you are intercepted by your mother on the way to the kitchen.Â
âOh,â she intones, taking in your appearance. Her eyes travel from your sweatpants to your t-shirt to your lack of makeup, disapproval apparent in every glance. âYou lookâŚâ
âSave it,â you grumble, not in the mood to be ridiculed.Â
Pushing past her, she stops you again. âHold on a minute. I have a question for you.â
You take a deep breath before you turn back to face her. Might as well get it over with. âYes?â
Smoothing her hair, she tells you, âYour father and I are hosting a banquet to celebrate the firmâs most recent acquisitions. Itâll be the last weekend in January. Weâd love it if you could come.âÂ
You suppress the urge to roll your eyes, not seeing where the question was anywhere in there. To you, it sounds more like a demand.Â
Sensing your reluctance, she adds, âYouâd be welcome to bring Jake, of courseââ
âWe broke up,â you inform flatly. At your side, Sunghoon stiffens.Â
âOh,â your mother says again, not missing a beat. Thereâs very little sympathy when she adds, âWell, I suppose thatâs probably for the best. Donât you think so? I mean, youâll be so busy with law school applications soon, itâs probably better to not have a boy around to distract you.â
You donât bother to dignify that with a reply. Instead, you turn your back to her, fully this time. Altering your course, you set your footsteps on a path towards the garage instead of the kitchen. âIâm going for a drive,â is the explanation you throw over your shoulder.Â
When Sunghoon tries to follow, you just shake your head. âI want to be alone.â
âButââ
âPlease.âÂ
There must be something desperate in your features, because Sunghoon only nods, doesnât argue further as he watches you climb in the driverâs seat of your car. Heâs still standing there, concern apparent on his features as you open the garage door behind you and reverse your car out of it.Â
Itâs been a long time since youâve done this, driven without a destination in mind. Your playlist blares through the stereo, loud enough to drown out any thoughts that threaten to cross your mind, to consume you, to send you spiraling.Â
Itâs not until long minutes later, when the first drop of rain hits your windshield, that you even notice the way storm clouds gather menacingly above you in the sky.Â
Whatever, you think, turning on your wipers and increasing the volume another notch. Youâve navigated worse. If anything, itâs a perfect match for your temper, for the way emotions swell and churn in your stomach.Â
Mindlessly, you let nothing but intuition guide your way, turning down streets youâve never seen on nothing but a whim and the desire to escape, even if just for a little bit. The rain continues to pour, and the storm clouds darken in time with your mood.Â
By the time you do start to recognize some of the scenery around you, itâs already too late. And youâre not sure where to place your blame. Fate, your subconscious, the way you canât seem to let him go? No matter where fault lies, youâre suddenly perfectly aware of your location.Â
Mostly because youâve been here twice in the span of a month. Because youâre only a handful of blocks, at most, from Jakeâs familyâs home.Â
The realization makes you quick to pull over. The best course of action, you decide, is to plot your course home in your phoneâs GPS, since clearly you canât be trusted to wander. Itâs in the middle of searching for a better signal that you see it. A flash of movement outside your window.
Itâs hard to be sure, through the thick sheets of rain that fall from the sky. But then you see it again, see her again, and you would know that dog anywhere.Â
âShit.â Turning to scan the backseat of your car, you find neither a jacket nor an umbrella. Nothing to shield you from the wrath of nature outside. But itâs not like you can leave Layla alone in a storm. Gritting your teeth, you set your resolve. And then you open the car door, stepping outside into the rain.Â
Itâs the kind of downpour thatâs unforgiving, that soaks you to the bone as soon as youâre in it. Hair sticking to your face and already so cold you think you might start shaking, you start Laylaâs name, hoping it carries over the wind.Â
âLayla!â Itâs all you can do to hope she hears you over the storm. You lose her for a minute. Bringing up your hand as a makeshift visor, you force your eyes to focus. When you finally see a flash of tan again, you know itâs her. The relief is short lived. Frustrated, you watch her turn to run in the opposite direction.Â
âLayla!â you call again, this time louder, so much so youâre sure your voice will be hoarse tomorrow. From the way rain soaks your clothes, youâll no doubt be nursing a nasty cold along with it.Thankfully, though, your beckoning does the trick this time. At the sound of your voice, Layla spins around, makes a beeline straight towards your familiar figure.
âLayla,â you chide once sheâs at your feet, still grinning at you like the two of you arenât absolutely soaked through and freezing. âCâmon,â you open the back door of your car to let her inside. âHop in.â
She does so without an argument, and you slide back into the driverâs seat just as soon as you shut the door behind her. Putting your car back into drive, you set your wipers to full speed and drive straight until you see the turn a few roads down, the one that you know leads straight to his house.Â
Still, you pull over again a few houses away, hesitating.Â
âSorry, Layla,â you turn to the dog in question. She just tilts her head at you quizzically. âIâll get you home. I justâŚâ
Donât want to see him. Donât want to look at him and face his anger, his resentment, his bitterness. Surely those are the only emotions he has left for you. Besides, it would be nothing but disastrous if his older brother were home. James would assume that your presence in his home means youâve neglected to uphold your end of the deal and as such, has no reason to honor his.Â
Thereâs a lot of damage to be done here, if you donât go about it wisely.Â
Turning back to the dog in your backseat, you point at her house in front of you. âYou can make it home from here, right?â Again, Layla offers nothing but the slight perking of her ears. âYour house is right there,â you point again. âJust go up to the front porch and whine or scratch at the door and theyâll let you in, alright?â You give her a scratch behind the ears for good measure.Â
You know Layla likes it, know that itâs her favorite place to be scratched. You know it because you watched him do it a few short weeks ago. Suddenly, you wonder if heâs noticed that sheâs missing. If heâs frantic, going crazy trying to find her.Â
A new sense of urgency motivating your actions, you turn back to Layla one last time. âAlright, girl. Iâll watch from here. Iâm gonna open the door, and I want you to go straight home, okay?âÂ
She wags her tail at you, and that will have to be confirmation enough.Â
Opening your door, you slide out of the car first. You hold your arm above your head as a makeshift shield from the rain, but itâs of little use. Reaching for the handle of your carâs back door, youâre about to send Layla home on a wing and a prayer when a voice behind you calls out your name.Â
At least you think thatâs what you hear. You canât quite tell, over the sound of pouring rain, the whistling of the wind. Still, you turn with trepidation in your gut. Rightfully so, when you peer into the car thatâs just pulled over next to you and lock eyes with no one other than Jakeâs mother.Â
She repeats your name, this time a little more frantic. âOh my god,â She exlaims, taking in your appearance. âYouâre soaking wet. Quick, follow me home and weâll get you warm and dry.â
âThatâs okay,â you try to explain over the story, âI have Layla, actually. I saw her wandering a few blocks over, and Iââ
âLayla? Oh my goodness.â Concern and gratitude color every word. âThank you, ___. Iâm sure Jake is going crazy. Câmon,â she reiterates. âFollow me, and letâs get you both inside.â
Not bothering to wait for a response, she rolls her window back up, driving away with the clear expectation that you follow. And itâs not like you have any other choice, not really. You can hardly drive away with her dog. And itâs not like you can let Layla out now, not when sheâs seen you. Â
So, hoping against all odds neither Sim brother is home, you climb back into your car and follow her command.Â
âOh my god,â she repeats when you pull into the driveway behind her, letting yourself and Layla out of your car. âYou two are absolutely soaked. Câmon, quickly,â she ushers you towards the front door.Â
Opening it, she steps inside first.Â
And of course luck is not on your side. You hear him before you see him. âMom,â he sounds panicked, horribly on edge. âHave you seen Layla? Sheâs been missing for almost an hour and I canât find her anywhere. I called James, but he left on a business trip this morning.â He doesnât leave room to breathe. âIâm worried she might have gotten outsideââÂ
Your rescue doesnât remain a mystery for long. Layla bounds through the front door, jumping on her favorite sibling, wet paw prints staining his jeans as her sudden movement forces the door open wider. Reveals you.Â
Relief washes over Jakeâs features as he greets his dog just as affectionately, and then he glances upwards. He takes one look at you, soaked to the bone and shaking from the cold. Any other words he had die on his lips.Â
â___ found her, actually,â his mom explains, reching behind you to usher you in fully and shut the door behind you. âA few blocks over, you said?â She clarifies, turning to you.Â
Eyes not leaving Jakeâs, you just nod.Â
His mother glances between the two of you, your frozen, shocked stares. The tension is palpable, and she senses it as well.Â
âIâm going to go get Layla dried off,â she offers. âJake, why donât you help ___ find a dry set of clothes.â Shuffling past the two of you, she brings Layla along with her.Â
And then itâs just you and him.Â
Both of you stand there a moment longer, neither of you saying anything.
When you do break the silence, itâs at the same time. âAre you okay?â Jake tries, just as you say, âIâm sorry.â
Another beat of silence passes between you.Â
Jake nods towards you. âYou go first.â
âIâm sorry,â you try to explain, words feeling jumbled as you give them life. âI was driving and I saw Layla all alone, and I didnât knowâŚâ That youâd be here. That I would run into your mom. That it would hurt so much to see you again. You donât know what exactly youâre apologizing for, but your presence feels like an intrusion.Â
Jake begs to differ. âDonât apologize.â He shakes his head. âI should be thanking you. I was worried out of my mind thinking I might never see her again.â Heâs talking about Layla. You know heâs talking about Layla. But his eyes donât leave you once.Â
It feels like a moment that could stretch into forever, you and him. Masking your hurt, hiding wounded prides. Standing inches apart and the distance has never felt greater.Â
The spell is only broken when you sneeze, an immediate reminder of the circumstances that brought you here. Of the fact that youâre trembling like a leaf in his entry way, soaked to the bone.Â
It's enough to spur him to action. âCome on.â He jerks his head towards the staircase behind him, voice and features still carefully guarded. â Iâll get you some dry clothes.â
You could argue, but you donât see a point. Not now. Silently, you follow him, all the way up the stairs and down the hallway to the last door on the left. When he opens it, there is no doubt in your mind as to what this room is.Â
Itâs his. It has to be. You know it, from all the little pieces of himself he has on display. Pictures of him in his youth with friends that smile just as big and brightly as he does. Soccer trophies, a drawing of Layla done before he had well-developed fine-motor skills, a picture of him and his mother at the beach.Â
All at once, you wonder what it would have been like to discover him naturally. How long it would have taken you to uncover all these little parts of him, one by one, if any part of your relationship had been given the chance to be real.Â
And then you notice the mug sitting on his nightstand. The self-heating one you gave him for Christmas. Thereâs nothing special about it, and itâs not particularly attractive, design-wise. Itâs practical. Almost impersonal. He has no reason to keep it displayed like this. Part of you wants to swell with unshed tears. The other wants to run and hide and face your shame alone.Â
But Jake is already rummaging through a drawer, and a moment later, he turns to face you with a pair of gray sweatpants and a matching hoodie.Â
âIâm sorry,â he apologizes preemptively, and you hate the uncertainty that lingers between you. The awkwardness. All the stilted pauses and unsure silences that were never there before. You hate that itâs your fault, that you have no clue how to fix it. âIâm not sure how theyâll fit.â
âThatâs okay,â you shake your head, ignoring the way your heart stutters suddenly at the thought of wearing his clothes. âTheyâll be dry. I appreciate it.â
âThe bathroom is through there.â He nods towards the adjoining room. âThere are clean towels under the sink, too, if you want to dry your hair or anything.â Pausing, he adds, âTake as long as you need.â
Nodding, you walk into his bathroom, shutting the door behind you. You know he meant it, when he told you to take your time, but part of you is hesitant to linger. Somehow, this space feels even more private, even more intimate than his bedroom. Again, you feel like an intruder. An unwanted presence in a place thatâs entirely his. A place you lost the right to be when you struck a deal behind his back and took his future into your own hands. Â
Sighs mingling with regrets you canât voice, you trade your rain-soaked clothes for his dry ones. You look at yourself in the mirror, and then you tuck the necklace he gave you out of sight, underneath the collar of his gray hoodie.Â
A minute later, you emerge from his bathroom slightly self-conscious and significantly drier. Across the room, Jake looks up at you. You watch as he swallows audibly, eyes tracing the planes of your body swallowed by his borrowed clothes. His throat bobs before he tears his eyes away.Â
âI shouldâŚâ Again, you hate this tension between you, this uncertainty. âI should go. Thank you for the clothes. Iâll wash them and give them back once the semester startsââ
âWhat happened?â Jake couldnât care less about your upcoming laundry plans. You can keep his sweatshirt and sweatpants and whatever else you want from him forever, as far as heâs concerned. Instead heâs still stuck onâ
âNew Yearâs Eve. I thoughtâŚâ He shakes his head. âI thought things were⌠good between us.â
And you could continue to be evasive. For his sake, you probably should.Â
You could continue to make his decisions for him and decide to preserve his econ grade instead of whatever unnamed feelings might still linger between the two of you. But, the quieter parts of you whisper, that would make you no different from anyone else in his life, from the people youâve encouraged him to break free from. The people that have molded his decisions and guided his path with a heavy hand all in the name of doing whatâs best for him. All because they think they know him better than he knows himself.Â
You donât want to do that. What you want, here in the privacy of his bedroom, in the comfort of his borrowed clothes and the legacy of his youth, is to tell him the truth. You want to let him do with it as he sees fit. Taking a deep breath, you make your decision.Â
And then you brace yourself for his anger, the outrage heâll surely have at your explanation. âYour brotherââ
âMy brother?â Jakeâs face falls, misreading things entirely as he jumps to premature conclusions. But itâs not like heâs grasping at straws. Jake isnât blind to the way James has been gloating more than usual as of late. To the way his mood started improving right around New Yearâs Eve. And he assumes the worst. âOh. Okay.â Jake is trying to smile, but his features are completely wilted when he says, âI guess he got that second chance after all, huh?âÂ
âWhat?â Your lips twist in disgust as the implication sinks in. âNo.â
âNo?â Now, Jake just looks confused.Â
âNo,â you reiterate. âLook,â you sigh, âI figured out that those plagiarism claims about your econ paper came from him.â
Across from you, Jakeâs jaw drops as it sinks in. âJames was the one whoâŚâ
You nod, lips tight. You still canât believe it either. âI went to his office to confront him about it, and he told me heâd retract the accusation, but only if..â
Jakeâs eyes are imploring. You have the feeling he already knows the answer. âOnly if what?â
âOnly if I promised to end things between us.â And there it is. The truth. Cold, hard, ugly, and Jakeâs to interpret as he will. You brace for impact.Â
Jake is silent for a moment, shocked into stillness. And then, âHe what?â
Your smile doesnât reach your eyes. âI can see why you have such a hard time getting along with him. Heâs kind of the worst.â
âWait,â the wheels in Jakeâs mind start to spin. âDid you tell him, then? About our contract and everything?â
âNo,â you shake your head. âHe never realized our relationship wasn't real. I just asked him to give me until New Yearâs. I told him I would break up with you then, as long as he retracted the accusation.â
Jake takes a step closer to you. âAnd he agreed?â
You nod.Â
Jake pauses.Takes another step. âWhy did you ask him to wait until then?â
There are a million things you could say, a million ways you could answer.
Because I couldnât stand the thought of another New Yearâs alone. Because the thought of being at a party hosted by my mother without you at my side made me want to crawl out of my own skin. Because Iâm selfish. Because those butterflies in my stomach have a habit of making me do stupid things. Because everything I told your brother in his office that day was true. Â
You canât give him all of it, but you can at least offer scraps of your honesty. âBecause I wanted to spend my New Yearâs with you.â
Jake says nothing, but his feet are moving. Each step brings him closer and closer to you. It feels a bit like itâs playing out in slow motion, delaying the inevitable. You move backwards until you run out of places to go, until heâs crowding you against the door of his bathroom, invading your space and demanding all of your attention, your focus, you.Â
Thereâs no hesitation this time around, not when he leans down, cupping your chin in one hand to adjust the angle to his liking.
âWait,â you breathe, lips a hair's breadth from his own. âWhat about your brotherââ
âFuck my brother.â
And then his lips are on yours. In the sanctity of his bedroom, in the aftermath of revelations. Itâs the second time in the span of a week, and it already feels familiar. A little bit like coming home.Â
His palm finds a place to land against the sliver of skin exposed just about the waistband of your borrowed sweatpants. A shiver traces the length of your spine, this time not from the cold but from the unbearable, unmistakable heat that threatens to boil over with every touch of a fingertip, every ghost of a caress.Â
When you pull back for air this time, you donât use the moment to shatter whatâs just beginning to build between you. For real this time. Instead you say, âYouâre really good at that, you know.â
âThanks,â Jake grins, still a little breathless. âI could use some more practice, though.â
And who are you to deny him an opportunity for improvement?
âŚ
epilogue â one year later.Â
âThis looks pretty cute on you, you know.â
âDo not touch it,â you hiss, swatting Jakeâs hand away from your graduation cap. âDo you know how long it took me to bobby pin it into place? Youâll rip out half my hair if you try to move it around.â
âOkay, okay. Sorry.â Jake raises his hands in mock surrender, puts them as far as he can from your immaculately done headwear.Â
Unlike you, heâs dressed in jeans and a button-down. But it makes sense. After all, the only person celebrating a milestone today is you. Jake doesnât find that he minds so much. He just submitted his final project for Advanced Typography a few days ago, and he received stellar marks on it. The best in his section, actually. Not to mention that the class has been one of his absolute favorites so far.Â
Besides, his time will come soon enough. In another year or two, itâll be his turn to have a graduation cap bobby pinned to his hair. And he thinks a Graphic Design diploma will lead him to much happier places than a Business one ever would have. Even if it does come a year or two behind the schedule he once cared a lot more about.Â
For starters, it wonât let him or you fall into any more ridiculous traps set by his brother ever again. Turns out, things like photoshop and other image-altering softwares leave traces. Ones that Jake is now excellent at detecting and could use to easily work his way out of false plagiarism accusations the future may throw his way.Â
Straightening your graduation gown, your eyes land on something behind Jakeâs shoulder. Thereâs a crowd today, as to be expected at a graduation ceremony, but youâve always been good at finding what youâre looking for. And even better at finding what youâre avoiding.Â
âI think I see your family,â you nudge Jake. Even his father is here. Mostly, you suspect, because you never bothered to correct his assumption that youâre heading to law school after this. Next to him stands James, lips twisted in permanent disdain, no doubt dragged here against his will.Â
Still, you propose, âShould we go say hi?â The only reason you suggest it is because you also see your second favorite Sim (and first favorite on the days that Jake is particularly annoying). Hand blocking the sun and eyes wandering, you can tell that his mother is looking for the two of you.Â
Jake keeps his back to them, steps in front of you to block you both from their sight. âNo,â he denies flatly. âMy brother is still weirdly obsessed with you.â
You wink, nudge him as you tease, âMust run in the family.â Itâs an echo of a past conversion and rings even more true this time around.Â
âCâmon,â you grab his hand, tugging him along. âI promised your mom a picture. Iâll ignore him. Trust me, Iâm good at it.â Glancing down at your feet, you reconsider. âActually, Iâll step on his foot. These heels werenât just made to look good, you know. Theyâre actually a pretty decent weapon if yielded properly.âÂ
So Jake relents, lets you pull him along. Towards an interaction he doesn't really want to have but knows he will come out of just fine. Towards a future thatâs full of uncertainties and doubts, but is his alone to forge.Â
He doesnât know what life will look like in ten years or five years or even just one, but he knows that he likes the way it feels when he does his best to put a little love into everything he builds. To let it swell and overflow until it touches the world around him and smoothes over lingering remnants of the bitterness and resentment and anger that never did anything but make him miserable.Â
And Jake likes the way it feels when you smile at him. He likes the way it feels when your hand is wrapped up in his own.Â
And for now, he thinks that might just be all he needs.Â
...
outtake â sixteen years ago.Â
At the age of six, there is a lot you donât know about the world around you yet.Â
For starters, you donât understand why itâs only grown-ups that get to drive. It seems awfully unfair that youâre always relegated to your car seat in the back when the front seems much more exciting, especially considering the way your mom is always yelling at the other cars.Â
Youâre also not sure why she always makes you wear itchy dresses whenever you go to places with a lot of other people. After all, your princess nightgown is way more comfortable, and you like the way it feels against your skin. But no matter how many times you begged, your mom still put you in one of those awful, scratchy dresses tonight. And by the time she finally finishes her first round of mingling at your family firmâs annual charity fundraiser and lets you sit down in the seat next to her for a brief break, youâve already been poked and prodded by people you donât know more times than you can count.Â
Which is saying a lot, since you just learned your numbers up to one hundred last week.
And youâre really not sure what your mom means when she leans over to your father and whispers, âI think this could be the start of something extremely profitable. A contract with the Sims, exclusive rights to represent them legally, I mean, thatâs huge.âÂ
You scratch at your shoulder. Thatâs the itchiest part of your dress. Your mom leans a little closer to your father. âI know you donât like to, but suck up to him a little tonight, if you have to. And if he invites you to golf, you must say yes. We absolutely cannot blow this opportunity.â
At six, your interest is still a flighty thing, and grown-up conversations you canât understand are usually quick to lose it. Itâs not long before your eyes are wandering for something to entertain them, something to hold your focus.Â
Finally, it settles on a boy halfway across the room from you. Heâs small, just like you. You wonder if heâs six, too. If he can also count to one hundred now.Â
Head tilting, you watch as he reaches for one of the delicately balanced centerpiece bouquets sitting on a table in the middle of the room.
âJake,â you hear someone call, that edge of worry only mothers can manage clouding her voice. âDonât touch that, sweetheart. Itâs fragile.â
âFragile?â The boy repeats.
âIt could break easily,â she explains patiently, pulling his hand into hers as she guides him away from the fragile centerpiece. If he is six, youâre definitely smarter than him. After all, you already knew what fragile means.Â
But watching his retreating back, you wonder some more. Wonder if he was made to wear an itchy outfit tonight too, wonder if heâs ever gotten to drive a car or if all mothers are thieves of fun, just like yours. Wonder if he also hates coming to these things, if people pinch and prod at him too.Â
âJake.â You try out his name, just to see how it feels in your mouth.Â
Momentarily distracted by the reminder from your mother to keep your voice at a whisper level, you lose him in the crowd.
Jake, you think to yourself. Most of all, you wonder if he would be your friend.Â
â・ďžâď¸ď˝Ąâ・ ďžâž ďžď˝Ąâ â・ďžâď¸ď˝Ąâ・ ďžâž ďžď˝Ąâ
THE END.
â・ďžâď¸ď˝Ąâ・ ďžâž ďžď˝Ąâ â・ďžâď¸ď˝Ąâ・ ďžâž ďžď˝Ąâ
note: THANK YOUUUUU for reading (seriously, this is so ridiculously long. oops). it is (mostly) edited, but by someone who just spent basically 48 hours straight writing 25k words, so you may have to be a little gentle with me in that regard for now. apologies for any grammatical errors or weirdness.
if you enjoyed this, I would love to know about it!! comments, tags, reblogs, and asks are treasured and motivating and so, so appreciated.
as always, thank you again for reading! all my best to you âĄ
numbers up: sim jaeyun
part three of chilling & killing đŞ | spotify playlist



pairing: jake x afab!reader word count: 15.3k

synopsis: with the imposter ghost face on the loose and your life being threatened, jake makes preparations to keep you safe and track down the copycat. you also make preparations with the heads of the film and investigation departments to bring down the imposter. trust no one and rememberâŚeveryone is a suspect.
genre: established relationship, ghostface!jake, journalist!reader, smut.
warnings: swearing, jake is fucking insane (as always), blood & m*rder, dry humping, reader gets stabbed, multiple unprotected sex scenes, shower sex, hair pulling, if I missed everything please let me know!

Youâve never seen Jake this paranoid before, or well, paranoid ever. Paranoia wasnât an emotion Jake had ever had to feel and deal with, that was until you. Until this copycat ghost face made threats to your life and drove Jake to hold you close and always double-check over his shoulder.Â
That phone call made Jake scaredâtruly, genuinely, scared. Which was another emotion heâd never felt. Jake usually lived on the thrill of it all. The thrill of someday being caught by law enforcement. The thrill of someone finding out his identity and challenging him. But he has you now. You changed everything.Â
Which drove him to make this decision. To move himself and you across town into another apartment, leaving everything behind.Â
You sat on the brand new couch you and Jake just finished moving up the stairs and into your new apartment, looking up at him on the ladder he stood on, drilling the new security system and camera into the corner of the living room.Â
Your eyes wandered around your new home, to all the boxes and new furniture and new bags of clothing. You thought Jake was joking when he mentioned moving out and leaving every single thing in your old apartment behind. He clearly wasnât.Â
Jake paid for everything, the new lease for this apartment. Bought you and him new phones that had new numbers on a completely different phone plan than your previous ones. New bank accounts. New laptops, new emails, and new tablets. Books, journals, clothes, cameras, watches, literally everything. Jake even ditched his previous car and got a new one. Jakeâs paranoia wasnât a joke, and he fully went through with everything.Â
He even tried to convince you to move into another town, hell a new country even, but you refused. The two of you were way too close to finishing your majors to just up and leave. You had duties here, the major one being to catch the imposter ghost face. It surprised you at the desperation Jake had to up and leave this life behind, all in the name of keeping you safe.Â
Jake glanced down at you for a split second, seeing how you took in the new apartment. The blank stare on your face as you looked over every inch of this place. It hurt Jake, honestly. Up and dropping his old life wasnât easy on him either. But it was all for you. For you, heâd do anything. Thatâs why he buckled and agreed to stay at the same college and town. He truly wanted to catch the imposter as much as you, but nothing was more important than keeping you alive. Keeping that pretty blood of yours flowing through your veins and keeping that heart beating. Jake wouldnât know what he would do if something happened to you, and he honestly didnât want to find out.Â
He finished screwing in the last screw of the new security system and let out a sigh. He glanced back down at you to already see you staring back up at him, âWhatâs up, honey?âÂ
You softly pouted, debating if you wanted to ask the question thatâs been making circles in your brain, âWhere did you get all this money from? To do all this?â guess you decided to ask it anyway.Â
Jake leaned on the ladder, smirking down at you, âIâm a serial killer, baby, you think I didnât save money up in case something like this happened?âÂ
You figured that was what his answer would be and you didnât want to admit you were terrified that he went and robbed a bank or random people. Or stolen from his victims. Jake did have a job, way before you even met him. He saved up every penny from each paycheck into a savings account that wasnât connected to his main account and was under a different name. Jake wasnât stupid to keep all his money in his main account. It would raise way too many red flags. That account wasnât just his money from his job, but from earnings he got growing up. Money from birthdays or when his parents felt like handing him money. He would use some of that money to donate to charity, to make that bank account look less suspicious.Â
You shrugged up at him, and made yourself comfy on the couch, laying down and stretching out. Jake climbed down from the ladder and walked to your side, âWhat are you thinking about, my love?âÂ
You sighed, staring into those beautiful brown killer eyes, âThat I want to catch whoever is making our lives difficult.âÂ
Jake smiled, climbing onto the couch and laying on top of you, nuzzling his face in your neck, âWeâll catch them, donât worry baby,â he placed a few kisses to your neck, his hand slowly sliding up your shirt, fingers brushing against your skin, âAnd once we do, weâll have a guaranteed spot in our respective fields after graduation.âÂ
You knew he was right. If the two of you managed to catch the imposter you would no doubt have no problems getting your detective jobs. It would be so easy and the town would be stupid to not give you and Jake those positions. You sigh then, realizing that once the imposter is caught, they would be trialed for every crime they have committedâincluding Jakeâs.Â
Jake and you never discussed it, about what would happen to whoever it was behind the ghost face mask and what crimes they would go to trial for. But deep down, you knew they would take the hit for both theirs and Jakeâs. It only made sense. You refused to let Jake go down. You needed him. YouâdâŚkill for him.Â
His kisses on your neck deepened, his teeth nibbling at the skin and tongue licking up your neck. His hand now made its way up to your breast, squeezing the plush between his fingers.Â
You softly moaned, tilting your head to give him more access to you. Your eyes fluttered closed and back open, spotting Jakeâs duffle bag in the corner of the kitchen.Â
âThought you were going to get rid of that?â you asked with a shaky breath, too deep in the pleasure of his touch to sound serious.Â
Jake chucked against your skin, his breath sending goosebumps and chills down your body, âI will tonight baby,â he pressed his hips to yours, his clothed hard cock rubbing against your heat. He removed his face from your neck and brushed his lips against yours, âHow about we stop talking and break into the new couch, shall we?â His hand slid from your breast to the band of your shorts, slipping his hand inside, âHave to make sure the couch wonât break from how hard I am about to pound into you.âÂ
You pushed his duffle bag off to the back of your mind and embraced his lips to yours.Â
Needless to say, the couch indeed held up from the rough sex Jake gave you.Â
â
Jake dropped the duffle bag to the ground with a sigh leaving his mouth. He pulled the matches from his back pocket, debating if this was something he even wanted to do. But it wasnât up for debate, he knew it. This was for you. All for you and the future he wants and will have with you.Â
Plus he didnât travel out to this small shitty countryside town for nothing.Â
Jake has traveled here before to take care of someâŚthings. He knew the town and knew how easily he could slip in and out without a trace.Â
The town had a small farmer's market and an alleyway where they kept barrels of hay to sell to customers for their farm animals. Jake was in luck to see one was still here and had enough hay in it to catch fire.Â
He pulled a match from the box, striking the red tip to the side, watching how the flames rose and lit up the alleyway then tossed it into the barrel. It didnât take long for the fire to spread.Â
Jake looked back down at the duffle, kneeling down and opening the bag, his ghost face mask staring right back at him. He smirked, rubbing his fingers over the curves of the mask, âItâs been a hell of a ride.âÂ
Without another thought, Jake tossed the black cloak, gloves, and then the duffle bag into the barrel. He took one final look at the mask before tossing it in.Â
Jake didnât know how long he stood there staring at the barrel, watching the flames tear a part of him into pieces. He wasnât sad, no no, he stood there with a smirk on his wash, watching how the white of the mask burnt and crumbled away. He shoved his hands into his jacket pockets, his crazy smile only growing wider.Â
He finally walked away, feeling the heat of the fire against his back, âIâve always loved playing with fire.âÂ
â
âAbsolutely not!â Jake said with a stern voice, his eyes glaring at you over the top of his laptop.Â
You shift your weight to one side, crossing your arms, âYou know I am the head of the journalism department, right?âÂ
Jake raises a brow at you, âOkay, and?âÂ
You thin your lips in a line, narrowing your eyes, âExcuse you?âÂ
Danielle sat diagonally from Jake to his left, her eyes wide as she looked back and forth between the two of you, âI hate seeing mom and dad fightâŚâ she whispered before standing up quickly, âIâm going to head to my next classâŚâ without another word, Danielle slowly walked out of the office.Â
Jake waited until the door fully closed before darting his eyes back to his laptop screen, âI said no, end of discussion.âÂ
You understood Jakeâs worry, you really did. But without the other department's help, you wouldnât catch the imposter. Earlier this morning, the dean of your college sent you an offer to pair up with the film and investigation departments to cover more ground for the ghost face cases. It would benefit you to have that help so itâs not just on your and Jakeâs shoulders. Mostly with the recent cases.Â
The imposter went on a killing spree over the course of a week, killing six students on campus, and two random strangers on the street on the edge of town. Thatâs EIGHT victims within a WEEK. What made these cases so major was the imposter started leaving specific items at each crime scene, clearly in a way to taunt Jake. Another ghost face mask was found at one scene, then a glove at another. The cloak was found at the next crime. A pair of bloody shoes at the next, the exact same knife type Jake has used was found at another. Then another ghost face mask. The other crimes were repeats of gloves and other items. The case was growing bigger and becoming too much for just you and Jake to handle, so when the dean gave you that offerâŚ
âWell, I already said yes, soâŚâ you hummed, not taking your eyes off your boyfriend.Â
Jake chuckled, âWell, again, I said no. Cancel it, tell them you changed your mind,â He didnât look up from the screen, typing something. You roll your eyes, slamming the laptop closed. Jake glared at you, âYouâre on thin ice, honey.âÂ
You placed your hands flat on the table, leaning towards him but still being far enough away, âI run this department and youâll deal with this choice whether you like it or not, understand?â he narrowed his eyes at you, âAnd you can look at me like that all you want, Iâm not scared of you Jake.âÂ
You lifted yourself off from the table, barely turning to face away from him before he was on his feet and in front of you, hands on your waist and lifting you onto the table. He pushed between your legs and brushed his lips against your ear, his hands now flat on the table on either side of you, âIt turns me on when you talk like that to me, baby,â he rubbed his nose against the shell of your ear, âItâs so fucking hot when you put me in my place.âÂ
He kisses your neck, one hand lifting to the other side to tilt your head, giving him more access, âItâs all true though,â you mumble, barely being able to get the words out.Â
Jake chuckles against your skin, pressing his growing hard length to your cunt, âI could kill you at any moment, honey, donât forget who I am.âÂ
You place your hands on his shoulders, pushing him back so he can look at you, âYou wouldnât,â you smirked, moving your face inches away from his, noses touching, âI donât care who you are, Jake Sim, you canât live without me.âÂ
Jake smirks, pushing his tongue past his lips and licking a stripe against yours then taking your bottom lip between his teeth, giving it a soft pull before releasing it. It was true, he couldnât live without you. âKeep running your pretty mouth and Iâll take you right here on this table.â He bucked his hips against yours, brushing his lips over yours, âIâd fuck you so nice and slow and hard,â he whispered then connected his lips to yours.Â
You donât know how much time has passed, but Jake had pulled you to the edge of the table, rocking his clothed hard cock against your heat in a slow but hard motion, his hands running up and down your back as his tongue pressed in and out of your mouth. Jake was so ready to unbuckle his belt and tear your jeans apart to feel that sweet pussy of yours wrapped around him, that was until a knock on the door sounded, and the door was opening.Â
Jake dropped his face into your neck, backing his lower half away from you and releasing a groan, âDid I interrupt something?âÂ
You quickly push Jake away and drop to the floor, âNo, Jay. Everything is fine.âÂ
Jay stood in the crack of the door, his laptop in hand, eyes darting over to Jake, âNice seeing you again, Sim.âÂ
âWoof.âÂ
Jay rolled his eyes, looking away from him and back at you, âPut your dog on a leash, ya?âÂ
Jake took a few steps forward but you stepped in front of you, âJake, we arenât doing this,â you snapped, âSit down, please.â Jake didnât take his eyes off Jay as he pulled the chair out and sat down.Â
Jay smirked, letting a whistle escape his lips in a way of saying âGood dog.â Jake wanted to growl and bare his teeth and bark, showing him what kind of dog Jake could really be.Â
âPlease, come in,â you said, waving your hand to the free seats, âIs Jungwon coming too?âÂ
Jay was the head of the film department. His team mostly covered sports and weather, but occasionally would show up and film crimes, sending your department the footage later to write the articles and publish both to the campusâs website. Jungwon, Jayâs second, as if on command, popped out from behind him, carrying their camera, âIâm here, just fell behind.â You could tell the younger was nervous, giving him a small smile as he walked in and set the camera on the table.Â
Jake kept his eyes on Jay, studying his every movement. Not liking the way the blonde-haired male would look and smile at you. Jake was against teaming up with the other departments for more than just not wanting Jay around you. He didnât trust him. Or anyone, for that matter. Jake didnât care if having extra people around made finding the imposter easier, having these people around put you in danger.Â
You pinched Jakeâs bicep, giving him a look to behave and relax. Jake just shrugs, leaning back in the chair and wrapping his arm around your waist, and pulling you close to him, resting his head on your hip. You ruffled his hair, loving how cute he looked as he scrunched his nose and batted your head out of his hair, fixing what you messed up. It still amazed you how this man was a serial killer. This soft puppy sitting in front of you was secretly insane and committed so many murders but was so soft when it came to you. It was cute, truly.Â
Another knock and the door slowly slid open, âAm I late to the party?âÂ
You smiled, âNope! Just in time.âÂ
Heeseung slowly walked into the room, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose, âGood, was worried I might be.âÂ
Lee Heeseung, the head of the investigation department. The poor guy was appointed the department head because the previous one was murdered last weekâŚa victim of the imposter. Youâve met Heeseung a couple of times before, or well, have seen him a couple of times before. Anytime you went to the investigation office for results or photos of the crimes he always sat in the back with his lab coat and goggles over his glasses, as he worked on pieces of evidence the police department let the school borrow.Â
You could tell he was also nervous, but he had plenty of reasons to be. One was the daggers Jake was sending at him, second, the man was just appointed the department head after his was murdered, and lastly, this was his first major job as the head, having to completely take over the ghost face case and deal with you and Jay on top of it.Â
Heeseung sat down across from you and beside Jay, running a hand through his hair, âSunoo should be here soon, he was printing off some extra photos from the murders a few days ago.âÂ
You nodded, finally sitting down beside Jake, âItâs nice to finally talk to you,â you said, leaning your elbows onto the table, âYou were always so busy in your little corner anytime I was on that side of the campus.â
Heeseung smiled, âYeah, Iâm in my own little world sometimes. You could probably have imagined my surprise when I was picked to fill in the shoes. I basically had to beg Sunoo to be my second for these cases.âÂ
Sunoo youâve worked with a few times before, he was shy but such a beautiful ray of sunshine. Had a sparkling personality and always brightened the room with his smile. He was super smart and would make a killer investigator one day.Â
Jake listened as you, Jay, Jungwon, and Heeseung spoke back and forth. Eyeing their movements and facial expressions, noticing how Jay and Heeseung kept their eyes on you a little too long. Jake knew you were the department head and they were more than likely just being respectful, but Jake couldnât forget the crush Jay has on you, or clock out Heeseung was basically undressing you with his eyes.Â
Or maybe Jake was just getting jealous he had to share you with other people. That was probably it.Â
Sunoo finally showed up, handing everyone their own folders of the photos. Jay opened his laptop up, connected the camera then blue toothing the laptop to the projector in the office to show footage theyâve taken along with footage from the security cameras around campus. You passed along articles and pulled the corkboard out.Â
Hours passed as the six of you discussed the cases and exchanged information each department had. It surprised you how calm Jake was for the most part. Only getting sassy during specific topics. Jake was all-knowing of ghost face for his specific cases, knowing next to nothing about the imposter.Â
The meeting finally came to an end and you were very much ready to go home and take a warm shower.Â
Jake and Jay sat at the table still discussing one of the murders, meanwhile, Jungwon, Sunoo, and Heeseung prepared to leave.Â
You held the door open for them, thanking Jungwon and Sunoo for attending, ready to do the same for Heeseung but he stopped in front of you. Jake clocked it immediately.Â
âThank you for welcoming us into your space,â Heeseung said with a tilt of his head, âIt was finally nice getting to work with you.â Heeseung was trying to keep himself calm, shoving his hands into his pockets so you wouldnât see how badly he was shaking. He found you extremely cute and incredibly smart. He was blown away at today's meeting because of you.Â
âLikewise,â you smiled at him, âHopefully this partnership does all of us some good and we catch this ghost face.âÂ
Heeseung pushed his glasses back up, âWe are the department heads for a reason, weâll catch them.âÂ
Jay noticed how clocked out Jake was, pulling his eyes over to you and Heeseung, âYou going to bark at him like you did to me?â Jay teased.Â
âJust might fuck her in front of both of you so youâll be reminded who she belongs to.âÂ
Jay rolled his eyes, âSheâs allowed to have friends, you know.âÂ
Yeah, she is, just not friends with males who want to fuck her and look at her like I do. Only I can look at her like that. Only I can fuck her. Point blank.Â
Jay signed, crossing his arms, âListen, Heeseung is a good guy, a little shy, but heâs new to this, donât bark at him.âÂ
Jake patted Jayâs shoulder, âOkay, buddy,â and with that, Jake was walking towards you.Â
Heeseung pulled his phone from his back pocket, âI was thinking since we are all working together, we can exchange phone numbers,â he smiled awkwardly, his glasses falling down his nose and him quickly pushing them up, âWe can have a group chat as well.âÂ
Before you could answer, Jake wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you to him, âWe donât exchange numbers.âÂ
RightâŚbecause you both had to get new phone numbers. No one had your new numbers, not even Sunghoon. âEveryone is a suspect,â Jake said once you got your new phones, âtrust no one.âÂ
Heeseung glanced over at Jake, âIâm n-not trying to steal her or anything,â he stuttered, âI just figured it would be easier for us to contact each other so we arenât running across campus.âÂ
Jake smiled, âWe can exchange school emails and our school chat IDs, that should be good enough, ya?âÂ
Heeseung looked at you and all you could do was shrug, apologizing with your eyes.Â
âJay,â Jake called, âCome over here, the four of us are going to exchange chat IDs.âÂ
You knew Jake was doing this to protect you and him. He wasnât going to just hand over your phone numbers that easily. He was playing smart, having to be one step ahead in this game heâs playing with the imposter. The chat IDs were Jakeâs only plan to not make it seem suspicious completely, mostly since the IDs were from the college and connected to the college emails. Your numbers were safe. Â
You all exchanged the IDs and made the group chat, Jay saying heâd add Jungwon later and Heeseung agreeing to the same for Sunoo.Â
Once the boys left, Jake slid the door closed and locked it, staring at you with hooded eyes, âIâm fucking you on this table like I said earlier.âÂ
You giggled as Jake picked you up in his arms and laid you down on the table. Jealousy was cute on him.Â
â
You tied red strings around the pushpins on the corkboard and then took a few steps back, resting your body against the kitchen counter. You crossed your arms and let your eyes wander the board. Stopping at each photo of the imposter's crime scenes, and at each item they have left. Looked at the schoolâs articles and the official news articles that were pinned by each photo. Your laptop sat on the kitchen table, replaying the videos Jay filmed and was kind enough to send to you.Â
Trying to wrap your mind around these cases was making your brain hurt. Mostly since Jake was stuck at soccer practice for the next couple of hours, youâve been taking this head on by yourself.Â
You rubbed your fingers to your temples, needing a much-needed break. So you splash some water on your face from the kitchen sink and gently dab your face with a towel. You pulled a bottle of water and an apple from the fridge, sat on the couch, and propped your feet onto the coffee table. The apartment was quiet and you honestly hated it, wishing Jakeâs laughter was echoing off these walls. Jake hasnât left your side since all this bullshit started happening and the only time he wasnât with you was his soccer practice. You always offered to go with him and sit in the bleachers, but he always refused. Mostly because he wouldnât be able to completely focus. He barely was able to focus when you were at the apartment alone, but he knew youâd at least be safer there than at the campus. Youâre just instructed to not leave the apartment at all if he wasnât with you. Which was fair. Jake was able to hold his own because ya know, being a serial killer and all. But you? You were barely a challenge for Jake when he had you pinned to the floor and a knife to your throat after you figured out he was the ghost face. You could barely dominate Jake in the bedroom, he could hold his own. You?? Ehh.
You finished the apple and water, threw away the trash, and got back to work. You sat at the table, flipping through more photos Heeseung sent over and rereading some of the articles Danielle had written. The more you look over everything, the more your brain hurts and that small break did nothing. You sigh, reaching for your backpack in the chair beside you, digging for the documents and articles Jake has created and written, only to not find them there.Â
âThatâs fantastic,â you mumbled, standing from the table and walking to the bedroom, finding Jakeâs backpack on the floor by the closet. You bent down and opened it up, digging through his textbooks and folders but not finding the one you were looking for, âFuck!â you sat on the floor, covering your face with your hands, âThis is so fantastic.âÂ
You wanted to call your boyfriend, but you knew he was busy with practice and wouldnât answer. But you doubt he would even have the articles to begin with. You shot back to his backpack, thinking hopefully his laptop would be in there and sure enough, it wasnât. Meaning he left it in the office on campus, where the extra copies of the articles would more than likely be. You debate leaving the apartment, knowing you shouldnât and Jake would be pissed off if he finds outâŚbut he would be gone for hours and wouldnât even know you left unless he checks the camera footage in the apartment. You tuck your lip between your teeth, ultimately deciding to leave. Youâd be there and back before Jake even returned home.Â
You slipped on your shoes and threw on a hoodie, pulling the hood tightly and comfortably over your head and double checking the door was locked before rushing down the stairs and making your way to campus. Thankfully it wasnât a far walk.Â
You quickly made it to the campus, unlocking the door to the office and closing it behind you. The campus was empty and quiet, being that it was the weekend. Made it perfectly for you to slip in and out quicker. Jakeâs laptop sat on the table in his spot, just like you figured it would be along with the folder of the copies sitting on top of it. You grabbed both and hurried back out of the office, locking the doors.Â
You made it to the first floor of the building when your phone started ringing. Your heart sank. Heâs going to be so mad. You pulled your phone from your shorts pocket, expecting to see Jakeâs name on the screen but instead seeing Unknown Caller. You tucked your lip between your teeth, locking the phone to ignore it. Itâs probably just some spam call. You walked out of the building's doors, your phone ringing and the same caller ID popping up.Â
You looked around the campus, not seeing anyone in sight. You dismiss the call, taking two steps down and your phone rings again with the same ID. You quickly dismiss it and with shaky hands, you dial Jakeâs number.Â
The caller you are trying to reach is unavailaâ
âShit!â you curse, redialing the number and getting the same message.Â
Fear filled you, hands trembling as you stared at your boyfriend's number then the screen showing the ID calling again.Â
You locked your phone and quickly went down the rest of the steps, making it halfway away from the building and parking lot when your phone once again rang. You stopped walking, looked around the campus, and finally answered the phone.Â
âHello, YN,â
You gripped your phone as it was pressed to your ear, âHello, imposter.âÂ
âItâs been a while since I last spoke to Jake.â they chuckled, âI wonder why that is?â
âYeah, crazy.â you whipped around behind you, looking back at the building you came from, then turned back towards the parking lot and looked at the buildings beyond it.Â
âIsnât it rude to change your numbers without telling anyone? Jake must have been desperate. Mostly after the very attractive photos Iâve taken of you at yourâŚold apartment.âÂ
You swallowed. Whoever this was, they knew your numbers had changed and that you moved. You kept looking around, trying to find anyone near only to find no one.Â
âWhat do you want?â you asked, starting to quickly walk again.Â
âLike I told Jake, youâll know soon enough.âÂ
You scoff, picking up your pace.Â
âWhere are you going in such a hurry, YN?â You stopped walking again, heart nearly stopping, âDonât you know itâs rudeâŚâÂ
You had a bad feeling, body shaking and trembling, âRude that what?â you asked, but then the line hung up.Â
You barely had time to realize what was about to happen. They had their arm wrapped around your neck and their knife piercing the skin at your waist just above your rib cage.Â
âDonât you know itâs rude to walk away when someone is speaking to you?âÂ
You tilted your head to the side and up, seeing the ghost face mask you were all too familiar with.Â
You swallowed again, trying to form words but nothing came out but gasps.Â
Jake slouched against the bleachers, taking his towel and wiping the sweat from his face and hair. Sunghoon sat down beside him, âPractice was hell today.âÂ
âAinât that the truth,â Jake sighs, âIâm ready to go home.âÂ
Sunghoon glanced over at his best friend, âYou still not going to tell me where you both moved off to? Or your new number?â
Jake sat still, not looking at his friend, âI have my reasons.âÂ
Sunghoon moved closer, âDid something happen? Jake, this isnât like you.âÂ
Jake wanted to snap at him that he didnât know anything about him besides what Jake allowed him to see. He loved Sunghoon, truly did. But with the imposterâŚhe couldnât trust anyone. Not when his girlfriend's life was on the line.Â
âLetâs just say itâs a long story, one youâll know soon enough.â Jake hoped he would accept it and leave it alone. And thank god he did.Â
Sunghoon sighed and just stood up, âTime to head home, see ya tomorrow?âÂ
Jake stands up too, reaching out for his friend's hand, âYep, see ya at the skating rink at two pm.âÂ
Sunghoon took his hand, âMake sure YN joins too!â he said as he walked away.Â
Jake nodded and picked up his bag, heading for the changing room.Â
Once he was out of his sweaty soccer clothes and cleaned himself and in cleaner clothes, he left the locker room, finally pulling his phone from his duffle, seeing your few missed calls. Jake waited until he was in his car and heading back home before calling you back. The line didnât even ring and went straight to voicemail. Jake raised a brow, âOkay, weird.â He redialled your number, and it once again went straight to voicemail.Â
Jake at this point was parked at the apartment, calling you one more time, it rang twice and then ended. Jake quickly got out of the car and ran up the stairs, stumbling with his keys to unlock the door and stepping inside.Â
âYN!â he yelled, seeing the apartment in one piece and no sign of forced entry. He rushed to the bedroom, still not seeing you. âYN!!â he shouted, still no answer.Â
Jake was starting to panic. It wasnât like you to ignore his calls. To leave without telling him or to even just leave. He paced around the living room, pulling up the camera footage on his phone, and seeing you leave the apartment.Â
âGoddamn this woman!â he bite his tongue, redialing your number once again, âFucking pick upâŚplease god let her pick upâŚâÂ
Your phone rang again, and you didnât have to look at it to know it was Jake.Â
âKind of rude to keep ignoring your boyfriendâs calls, isnât it? Answer it.âÂ
You took a deep breath, feeling your knees going weak, continuing to ignore the imposter.Â
âI said fucking answer it!â he yelled into your ear, pushing the knife in further.Â
You grunted out in pain, praying someone was on campus to witness what was happening to you. It was broad daylight on a Saturday afternoon, where was everyone?Â
You didnât want to answer the call. Didnât want Jake to hear what he was about to. Didnât want the imposter to kill you and have Jake hear it. You knew what Jake would doâŚÂ
The imposter hisses and pulls your back to their chest, removing their arm from your neck and reaching for your phone, accepting the call and putting it on speaker.Â
Jake nearly dropped to his knees at hearing the call answer, âYN!â he snapped, âWhere the fuck are you?!âÂ
âHello, Jake.âÂ
Jakeâs heart stopped, almost stumbling to the floor before catching himself on the kitchen counter, jaw clenching at the sound of the voice changer, âWhere is she?âÂ
The imposter chuckled, âRight here in front of me, say hi, honey,âÂ
Jake tensed at hearing the imposter use the pet name heâd given you, using it as a taunt.Â
âItâs rude to not say hello to your boyfriend, donât you think?âÂ
They pushed the knife in further, you gasped in pain.Â
Jake was already out the door at the sound of your pained gasp, âI swear to god if youââÂ
âIf I what, Jake Sim?â he taunted, âIf I kill her? What will you do?âÂ
Jake ran a head through his hair, âIâll fucking kill you myself.âÂ
They laughed, âSounds about right coming from a serial killer.âÂ
Your moans filled Jakeâs ears, the way you were gasping for airâŚhe needed to get to you. Jake placed the call on speaker and with shaky hands opened the app he installed to find your location, âThat makes two of us doesnât it?â he said, stalling time to find your location, finally pinpointing you at the school.Â
âI know youâre stalling, Jake,â they whispered, âTo find our location.âÂ
Jake snarled, âWhat do you want?âÂ
Silence, and then, âTo see you suffer.âÂ
They pulled the knife out of your side and shoved it back in, creating another wound. Your cries filled Jakeâs ear and now he was sprinting to the school.Â
Your body was shaking, feeling your blood pool out of your skin and down your body and to the sidewalk, âYou look even prettier with your blood leaking out,â they laughed, âJake might be too late.âÂ
Jake ran faster, âLeave her alone!â he screamed completely out of breath.Â
âGoodbye, Jake Sim.âÂ
Then the call ended.Â
The imposter tossed your phone off to the side, twisting the knife deeper, pulling it out and back in, making another wound.Â
Your hands became weak, letting go of the laptop and folder in your hand, dropping to the ground beside you. Your head flung forward, too dizzy from your blood loss to stay upright anymore. You barely felt the knife being removed from your body and their hands letting you go.Â
You fell, your temple hitting the edge of the sidewalk, blurring your vision even more. The imposter knelt beside you, lifting the knife and wiping your blood on their cloak, the black sleeve falling down, revealing a watch at their wrist. They chuckled, staring at the now clean knife, âIt was fun, YN, this time we spent together today.â You stared at the mask through your blurred vision, watching as they stood and walked away. Leaving you to bleed out.Â
You blinked a couple of times, too weak to try and move, eyes looking up at the blue sky. This was it. This was your end. You thought about Jake and how you wanted to feel his touch, hear his voice. Kiss his lips for the last time. You felt your heart slowing down. It would be any minute now.Â
âYN!!â you heard from a distance but muffled. âYN!!â it was closer now, still muffled. You closed your eyes and then felt hands on you, âYN, baby, please open your eyes.âÂ
It was Jake. He was here.Â
You forced your eyes open, barely being able to keep them open for long, but it was enough to see him leaning over you, tears filling his eyes.Â
Jake pulled you off the sidewalk and into his arms, resting your head on his chest, panicking at the wound on your head, âOh my god, baby, please speak to me, keep your eyes open.â His warm hand wiped the dripping blood from your face, starting to rock back and forth, âYN, I need you to open your eyes for me, okay baby? Say something to me. I am right here.âÂ
You fluttered your eyes open, but closed them again, opening your mouth to speak, but only gasps coming out.Â
Jake saw your blood staining your hoodie, carefully lifting the fabric to see three stab wounds and the blood that continued to pool out. Jake pressed his hand to the wounds as hard as he could, feeling you jolt against him, âShh, I know baby,â he cried, the tears finally falling, panic rising more and his rocks becoming faster, âI am so sorry my love, please stay with me. Hey, open your eyes please, YN. I canât live without you, please.â You were fading, you knew it. Jakeâs cries became more muffled and everything went black.Â
âÂ
Your eyes fluttered open, the sounds of a heart monitor echoing in what you were assuming was a hospital room. The last thing you remembered was hearing Jakeâs screams before passing out. You looked down at your body, seeing all the IVs connecting to the veins in your arms and the hospital band around your wrist. You looked to your right, seeing the hospital door boarded up with chairs. You looked to your left, seeing Jake sleeping soundly against your bed in the chair he pulled up close. His hair had fallen over his eyes, lips parted slightly, hearing his breathing. One hand rested on your thigh, and the other was under his head.Â
You swallowed, feeling how dry your throat was. You tried to sit up, but Jake felt you shift on the bed, waking him up. He slowly sat up and stood to his feet, standing closer to you and cupping your face, âYN, honey, how are you feeling?âÂ
You blinked a few times, once again trying to sit up, âIâm thirsty,â you said, struggling to speak.Â
âHere, hold onto me so we can sit you up, okay?â Jake rested his hands under her arms and you gripped onto the sleeves of his shirt, pulling as he used his strength to help you shift up, âBe careful,â he whispered.Â
Once you were sitting up, Jake helped balance you so he could raise the head of the bed and then help you lean back. He adjusted your pillows helping you feel more comfortable.Â
âThirsty,â you said with a raspy voice.Â
Jake nodded, cupping your face once again, and rubbing his thumbs against your cheeks. His eyes glossed over, trying hard to not let the tears fall again, you were okay. You were safe and alive and breathing. You were here with him. He glanced up at the bandage atop your head, âDoes your head hurt?âÂ
You nodded, the pain in your head and your waist fully kicking in, âBoth do.âÂ
Jake placed a kiss on your forehead then went to the bedside table, grabbing the bottled water and the pain meds the doctors said to give you once you woke up, âHere, my love.âÂ
He handed you the meds and water. You swallowed to the best of your ability and chugged down the water, handing the bottle back to him. He set it back to the table and sat back down in the chair, pulling it closer.Â
You stared back at him, watching as he reached for your hand, his fingers twisting at each of yours, before finally clasping his hand with yours, the other covering the top of your hand, âWhat do you remember?â he softly asked, trying to keep his breathing steady.Â
âEverything,â you sighed, looking away from him and to the door, âWas that necessary?âÂ
âOf course it was,â he scoffed, âIâm not risking you getting hurt again. Trust no one.âÂ
You tilted your head at your boyfriend, reaching up with your free hand and cupping his face. Jake leaned into your touch, eyes getting glossy again.Â
âI was scared I lost you.â Jake didnât ever want to feel what he felt ever again. Seeing you almost lifeless on the sidewalk, your skin cold and your blood staining the grass and concrete. He screamed as loud as he could until finally another student came out of nowhere and called an ambulance. He didnât leave your side. He paced the halls back and forth at your room until the doctors came out saying you were stable and your wounds were stitched up and bandaged. âI donât want to ever go through that again.âÂ
You slid your hand down to his shirt collar, pulling him towards you, or well attempting to. You were still too weak, but Jake knew what you wanted. So he carefully stood and inched his face closer to yours, pressing his lips to yours.Â
He kissed you a couple more times, then sat back down, âWhat were you doing at the campus?â he finally asked, âI told you to stay home.âÂ
You softly smiled, âI wanted to get your laptop and the articles you wrote.âÂ
Jake sighed, looking down at the bed, âBaby, I had a flash drive at home in the drawer.âÂ
You felt stupid, not even thinking he had other backups, âIâm sorryâŚâ you whispered, tears filling your eyes.Â
âShhh, no,â he said, cupping your face, âDonât cry, it's okay, I am not mad. I was worried about you.â Jake was more than worried. He was terrified. He didnât know what he would have done if he found you dead. Heâd probably hunt down the imposter, get revenge for what he did to you, and then kill himself. This world wasnât worth living in if you werenât living in it.Â
You leaned into his face, kissing the palm of his hand, âI shouldnât have left.âÂ
Jake just smiles at you, âTell me everything that happened, from start to finish.âÂ
So you did. Giving him every detail possible.Â
â
âYN,â Jake sighs, pushing your hands off him, âYou need rest.âÂ
All Jake did was come into the bedroom to check on you and give you the pain meds the doctors prescribed to you and you didnât waste a chance to jump his bones.Â
You cross your arms over your chest, rolling your eyes and pouting. Jake smiles and tilts his head at you, âStop pouting and take your meds.âÂ
Itâs been a week since the incident. A week of laying in this bed and Jake taking care of you while also doing what he could to piece together and solve the imposter ghost face cases. The imposter has been quiet since you encountered him, no phone calls to either yours or Jakeâs phone, or even any more murders. Whoever they were, they werenât radio silent.Â
Except for Sunghoon, Heeseung, and Jay of course. Sunghoon arrived at the hospital after hearing the rumors being spread around campus of Jake crying and screaming for help because you were hurt. Heeseung and Jay spammed the group chats you all had for the investigation, asking if you needed anything and of course Jake answering for you saying no.Â
Sunghoon now officially knew where the two of you lived, Jake forcingâand threateningâhim to keep his mouth about the location of the apartment and to never come over unless he was told to. Sunghoon finally understood now why Jake was being the way he was, all to protect you.Â
âIâve been resting for a week,â you scoffed with a click of your tongue, âI can walk perfectly fine and even use the bathroom and shower on my own.âÂ
Jake blankly stares back at you, refusing to answer until you take the water and medicine from his hand. So you did, swallowing the pills down with the water. You set the water bottle down on the nightstand, glaring at him.Â
He glared back, âIf I give you a kiss will you rest?âÂ
You relaxed your face and nodded. To say youâre deprived of sex would beâŚsilly to say in the least. Jake normally fucked you any chance he could get. But after you got hurtâŚhe didnât want to risk hurting you or your stitches coming out. Heâs told you this, but the more time that passes, the more you crave him.Â
Jake sat on the edge of the bed, leaning down and connecting your lips together. Jake held your lips a bit longer, giving you a few more kisses then slowly standing up. You sat up reaching your hands for his shoulders and pulling yourself to your knees and reconnecting your lips to his, pressing your body to his chest.Â
âYN,â he said between kisses, hovering his hands over your hips and then shoving you back down to the bed. He was quick to put his hands on your shoulders and push you back down in a lying position. He kept his hand on your shoulders as you glared up at him. Jake wanted to fuck you, oh how badly he wanted to fuck you. He was tired of fucking his cock with his fist the past week, but you needed rest. At least until your stitches were safe to be removed. But that still didnât stop you from trying to fight against the hold he had on your shoulders.Â
âYN,â he sighs, âYouâre fucking insane,â he slowly removed his hands from your shoulders, âYou were stabbed three times and hit your head, stay the fuck down.âÂ
Hmmm. Nah.Â
You grabbed him by his shirt collar, using your slow returning strength, and pulled him down onto the bed and climbed into his lap, âFunny how you call me insane,â you start to tease him, removing your shirt from your body, exposing your bare chest, âWhen youâre literally a serial killer.âÂ
Jake was hard. His hands settled onto your hips and looping his fingers into the thin fabric of your panties, âYouâre dating a serial killer, my love. Doesnât that make you just as insane as me?âÂ
âWhat makes you insane,â you whispered, sliding your hands under his shirt and lifting the clothing up, âIs not giving your insane girlfriend what she wants,â you pulled his shirt off his body, running your hands down his broad chest and abs, stopping at the waistband of his shorts. You brush your lips against his, watching how lustful his expression was becoming, âFuck me, Jake.âÂ
Jake tore his fingers into your panties, tearing them in half and tossing them to the floor, âLift up for me, baby.âÂ
You held onto his shoulder as you lifted yourself up, your breasts now eye level with his face. Jake leaned forward, placing his face between your breasts, kissing them down the middle, his hands cupping them, squeezing them to his face, and taking your skin between his teeth and sucking gently, slowly working his way to your nipple and taking it in his mouth. He sucked on the sensitive nub, hands flying to his shorts and pulling them off him. Jake bit your nipple and pulled slowly, letting it slip from his teeth. He reattached his lips to it, licking and giving it one final kiss before looking up at you, âI need you on my cock, honey.âÂ
Jake lined his tip to your entrance, one hand on your hip as you slowly slid down him.Â
âFuck,â Jake breathes, resting his head on your shoulder as his tip kissed your cervix, âFuck you feel so good.âÂ
A week without your pussy was a week too long and it took everything in Jake to not fuck his hips up into you, letting you completely take control.Â
You started off slow, letting yourself adjust to his size and working up your speed. His cock felt so fucking good rubbing against your walls. Youâve craved this, craved him and his touch. You were already losing yourself on his dick, bouncing on him as if it were the last time.Â
âJake,â you moaned out his name, wrapping your arms around his neck, âOh, fuck, Jae.âÂ
He bit his lip, flinging his head back and squeezing your thighs, using every ounce of self-control he had to not fuck you senseless, âFuck, baby,â he moans, âKeep going, oh fuck please keep fucking yourself on my cock.âÂ
You bounced faster, his tip hitting all the right spots.Â
Jake groaned, sliding his hands carefully to your waist, trying to be gentle to not irritate your wounds more than what they probably already were. He was starting to lose himself to your cunt, becoming a moaning mess each time you clench around him, âYN, Iâm going to cum if you keep clenching me like that, honey.â
You kept moving, sliding up and down, up and down, rocking your hips as fast as you could go to chase your climax, âI wa-wanna cum,â you gasp, legs getting tired but still pushing nevertheless.Â
âYeah?â Jake whispered, wrapping his arm carefully around your waist, âBaby wants to cum?â You nod, biting your lip. Jake pressed you to him, flipping you over and lying you down on your back, âIâll make you cum, honey, make you feel so fucking good.âÂ
You gasped as he fucked into you, using his knees to push your legs further apart, giving him more access.Â
You dug your nails into his back, moaning his name repeatedly each time his tip hit your g-spot. You are nearly a second away from cumming. Jake pistoned his hips against yours, hands gripping the bed sheets between his fingers, âCum for me baby, let it go.âÂ
Jake thrust hard into you, pushing his cock as far as it could go the moment he felt your cum wrap around his cock, âJae,â you breathed running your hands up into his hair, âJaeyun.âÂ
He kept pushing into you, groaning when he finally pulled out and pushed back in, rocking his hips so fast, âGoing to fill this pussy so full of my cum,â he places his lips onto yours, âFuck, going to cum so deep in this cunt.âÂ
Jakeâs movements got sloppy, breathing becoming uneven as he kept his lips pressed to yours. Jake wanted to cum so bad, itâs been a week since heâs been able to pump his load into your sweet cunt, to feel you clench around him at the feeling of his cum filling you whole. Oh, he couldnât wait, knowing he could burst at any momentâŚ
âIâm cumming, oh fuck Iâm cumming,â he moans against your lips, thrusting a final time and painting your walls, his cum leaking from your pussy.Â
Jake rode out his high, slowly catching his breath. He pulled out of you with a grunt, shifting to your left and lying beside you, pulling your face to him to kiss your cheek.Â
You smiled and softly laughed, feeling satisfied and so full. Jake was happy seeing you smile, his eyes rolling down to the bandages on the right side of your waist. His smile slowly faded, his fingers tracing over the bandage. He almost lost you. Almost was never able to see your smile and hear your laugh ever again. His blood boiled.Â
âJake,â you whispered, seeing him lost in thought, âBabe,âÂ
Jake looks into your eyes, âIâm going to kill them, for doing this to you.â You frown, placing a hand on his face. He leaned into your touch, âIâd set this world on fire for you, ya know,â he whispered, his facial expression relaxing, âIâd let it burn and tear apart into ashes and nothingness. Let it completely burn for you.â You leaned into him, laying your head against his chest, his arms pulling you tighter to him. Jake kissed the top of your head and stared up at the ceiling, âIâm going to end that fucker for what theyâve done to you and burn this fucking world down.âÂ
â
Jake stared down the other two males in front of him, burning holes into their bodies.Â
Jay stared back, brows furrowed. Heeseung only glanced up every few seconds, trying to keep his eyes glued to his laptop, pushing his glasses back up his nose.Â
âSay some shit,â Jay said with a cool calm with irritation.Â
âSome shit,â Jake smirked, crossing his arms over his chest.Â
You just roll your eyes, âCan we not today? We have work to do.âÂ
Jakeâs smirk turned into a frown, body relaxing and leaning into you, resting his head on your shoulder.Â
âHe really is like a dog,â Jay scrunched his nose, âNo wonder he barks so much.âÂ
âWoof.âÂ
You drop your head into your palms, rubbing your eyes, âJaeyun Sim, please.âÂ
Jake has been overprotective of you ever since returning back to campus. Your stitches were removed, but the scar and irritation were still present. It hurt to breathe at times or move certain ways, but you wouldnât let it affect you. You needed to catch the imposter, after all.Â
âAnyways,â Heeseung mumbled, eyeing Jake one last time before looking at the laptop, âThe police report finally came back from your case, YN. And the photos my team took are pulled up here as well.â Heeseung sent both files to the group chat.Â
âIâm uploading theâŚâ Jay started saying, quickly glancing down at his phone, his jaw flexing then flipping the phone over on the table face down, âAnyways, I am uploading the news report we filmed on top of the official news report from the town,â Jay typed away at his computer, the files popping up in the group chat.Â
The four of you looked over the files and reports. Five minutes turned into an hour, and an hour into two. Yet nothing stood out in your case.Â
The imposter didnât leave or take anything at the scene of the crime. They even left Jakeâs laptop and folder. Which was odd, considering the imposter would want to take that information? Right? Nothing was adding up. Nothing made sense. Whoever this imposter was, they were thorough, and clean, only left behind what they knew couldnât be traced back to them. This was a game to them. And they are somewhere laughing their ass off right now.Â
Heeseung leaned back in the chair, flinging his head back and pushing his glasses up onto the top of his head, pulling his dark hair up with it. His fingers rubbed at his eyes, âIs there anything any of you can think of that we are skipping over?â he sighed, âNot just with YNâs case?âÂ
Jay also sighed, his phone buzzing and him looking back at it, carefully lifting it up, then setting it back down, âNot that I know of,â he looked at you, âIs there anything you remember that happened when you were attacked?âÂ
Jake traced his eyes back and forth between you and Jay and Jayâs phone, tuning out your story, not on purpose, of course, heâs heard you retell your attack multiple times now. The more he hears it, the more pissed he gets. Jayâs phone buzzed again, âAre you going to answer whoever it is thatâs spamming you?â Jake said, tilting his head, âItâs been going off nonstop since youâve been in here.âÂ
Jay thinned his lips, âI apologize, thereâs stuff going on with my family and the arcade.âÂ
Jake chuckled, âAhh, the fun arcade.â Jay glared at him, clearly remembering what Jake did in his arcade.Â
You rolled your eyes again, tapping your fingers on the table, âThis is irritating.âÂ
Heeseung sat back right in his chair, looking over at you and giving you a small smile, âHey,â he whispered, leaning closer to you and placing his hand on top of yours, making Jakeâs blood boil, âWeâll catch this guy, yeah?âÂ
Jake swatted Heeseungâs hand off yours, âHands off.ââ
Heeseung blankly stared at Jake and gave a soft nod, pulling his glasses back to his nose, âI apologize.âÂ
Jake held both your hands in his now, protecting them from being touched again. Eyeing the fuck out of Heeseung.Â
You pushed aside your boyfriend's jealousy, staring at your laptop screen, looking over every piece of evidence, âWait!â You said, pulling your hands out of Jakeâs and typing away at your computer.Â
âFind something, honey?â Jake asked, peeking over to your screen.Â
âI forgot I put in a request for some specific reports and evidence from all the ghost face cases from start to now,â you could feel Jake shift in his chair, not because you are pulling his murders, but all of them combined. It was genius. It would be an easier way to read each of them and find the differences instead of just looking at the pictures and the news reports and articles or trying to piece each puzzle together on your corkboard. This all-in-one combo could give the advantage needed. Jake could fuck you right here in front of everyone and not give a damn. âI put in the request while in the hospital, they should be ready by now.âÂ
Heeseung was now towering over your laptop to get a look, but quickly sat down after a glare from Jake. Heâs way too easy to fuck with. Jake smirked.Â
âThey are ready!â You stood from the chair, going to take a step.Â
âWoah,â Jake said, grabbing your arm, âWhere are you running off to?âÂ
You looked at your boyfriend, then the other two males, âThe police station?âÂ
âLike hell you are!â Jake snapped, âYou arenât going anywhere!âÂ
Heeseung looked up at you with pleading eyes, âYN, heâs right. You literally got attacked two weeks ago, you shouldnât be going anywhere alone.âÂ
âHeeseung gets it!â Jake pointed a finger at him, âSit back down.âÂ
âWe need those papers!â you retort, trying to pry your arm out of his grasp.Â
âIâll go get it,â Jay said, looking back down at his phone again, âI have to stop by the news office anyways and get something from Jungwon before heading out, Iâll bring the reports here right after.âÂ
You wanted to protest, but with the three of them, you knew youâd lose. So you just nodded, giving him a small âThank you, Jay.âÂ
He shoved his phone into his pocket and smiled back at you, reaching over to ruffle your hair and walk to the door, âNo problem, stinks.â Then he was out the door.Â
âStinks?â both Jake and Heeseung said in unison, both side-eyeing you.Â
You shrug, âHe said I reeked of dogâaka Jakeâthe other day before Jakeâs cologne was strong and rubbed off on me, then he started calling me stinks.âÂ
Jake scrunched his nose, âI donât ever want him calling you that again.âÂ
Even Heeseung scrunched his nose, âItâs an odd nickname to give someone.âÂ
You rolled your eyes, âHeâs being a big brother, kind of.âÂ
Jake shook his head, âNope. We arenât doing this.âÂ
âAnyway,â Heeseung said, looking at you with his heart smile, âWant to get some lunch from the cafe on campus?âÂ
âAbsolutely! Iâve been craving their coffee and wanting to try that new raspberry pastry!âÂ
You pulled out of Jakeâs grasp and piled your belongings together and shoved them in your backpack, tossing them over your shoulders. Heeseung did the same, noticing Jakeâs glare, âAre you coming as well or?â Heeseung asked.Â
âOh? Iâm invited?â Jake scoffed, âYou werenât trying to just get my girlfriend alone with you?âÂ
Heeseungâs glasses fell down to the bottom of his nose as he continued to pack up his things, looking away from Jake, âConsidering you donât let her have any friends, yeah guess youâre invited too.âÂ
Jake stood to his feet, not liking that Heeseung was talking back to him right now, âConsidering my girlfriend had her life threatened and was stabbed three times, excuse me for not letting her out of my sight,â he counters.Â
Heeseung pushed his glasses up, âI get it, but I wouldnât hurt her. But I get it. Thatâs why I am extending an invitation to you too. You also could use some friends besides Sunghoon.âÂ
Jake raised his brow. You looped your arm with Jakeâs and Heeseungâs, pulling him out of his thoughts, âCome on you two, letâs just get some food. We can invite Jay and Jungwon too, even Sunoo! Where is he by the way?â You asked, âI know Wonnie had an exam and project to work on from what Jay said, what about the sunshine?âÂ
Heeseung smiled and shrugged, âSunoo had class and work later, but donât worry Iâll get him caught up on everything we talked about today.âÂ
You nodded, pulling the two boys with you towards the doors, âIâm starving!âÂ
Jake and Heeseung glanced at each other, allowing you to pull them both towards the cafe.Â
â
Jake crossed his arms, staring up at the corkboard here at the office. Itâs almost two-thirty in the morning, and nothing but the moonlight peeking from the windows lit up the room. Jake was thankful you had two exact copies of the corkboard for both the apartment and the office, making it easier than carrying the big damn thing back and forth all the time.Â
He glances down at his phone propped on the corner of the corkboard on the railing, all the cameras in the apartment pulled up on the screen. His eyes shift to the one in the bedroom, seeing you fast asleep in your shared bed. He didnât want to leave you alone, but he didnât want to wake you up and drag you here either, all because he couldnât sleep and needed to wrap his head around this case.Â
Jake pulled the papers you requested from the police station earlier out of his backpack, reading over it. Itâs been the fourth time heâs looked at this, rereading over his ghost face cases and the imposters, trying to find the fine line that would point to who this imposter was. But the more he looked over it, the more his brain hurt.Â
He tossed the papers to the table, running his hands through his hair. Jake had a mental list of suspects, trying to match each person to the cases, but nothing added up.Â
Jake assumed it was someone close, not specifically close to him, but close in a way theyâve known about his crimes for the longest time. Known who he was. Jakeâs first suspect was Sunghoon, since his best friend was the one who planted it into your mind of the possibility Jake was the ghost face. But Jake continued to keep tabs on Sunghoon, and he hasnât done or said anything out of the ordinary for Jake to really actually keep him on the list. So he was shoved out. The others? Full game.Â
Jakeâs next one on the suspects' list is Jay. Jay had always had a small crush on you, and that hasnât changed even after working with him on the cases. Not to mention he oddly kept checking his phone today and was so quick to offer to get the papers for you. Either he really was just being a protective brotherly figure to you, or heâs the imposter. Jake also didnât like the attention Jay gave you, still wanting to string Jayâs body from the ceiling of his arcade.Â
Heeseung was the third on the list but also the least of Jakeâs concerns. Heeseung was skittish and very shy. Very much in love with you, it was obvious. Heeseung looked as if he was about to crawl into his turtle shell and never come back out. He only spoke when spoken to really, unless he had something to say and even then it was quiet and not munch. His department head was also murdered and he was forced to step up, the likeliness of Heeseung being the imposter was slim.Â
The rest Jake had on the list were Danielle, Jungwon, Sunoo, and a few others on his soccer team and people in his classes.Â
Jake kept rotating the suspect list, trying to pinpoint exactly who would have such a grudge against him to become a copycat murderer. Someone who clearly wanted to watch him suffer, as the imposter said.Â
He ran the statement you told him at the hospital over and over in his head, then looked back at the reports, looking at the corkboard, and then pulled up all the files Jay and Heeseung have shared with everyone on his laptop.Â
Something clicked in Jakeâs brain. His eyes widened. He quickly typed away at his computer, fingers rushing across the keys and eyes darting over every piece of information that was laid out in front of him.Â
He smirked, the corners of his lips curling as a laugh escaped his lips, it echoing against the quiet walls of the office, âNo fucking way,â he leaned back in the chair, throwing his hands behind his head, âI got you, imposter.âÂ
Jake wasnât one hundred percent sure he figured it out, but he knew. He just knew. All Jake needed was the full solid proof. And it was his mission now to figure out a way to get it.Â
Jake thought about how he found you two weeks ago, how close you were to death, how close he was to losing you. Jake never was so terrified in his life. Seeing the love and light of his life passing the line of life and death, it killed him. Drove him into a frenzy of wanting to murder every single damn person in this town and the next one over to make sure he got the imposter. But alas, that wasnât an option. But that didnât matter now, you would be avenged soon.Â
All Jake had to do was make his preparations, which he did before finally heading back to the apartment. Â
â
Jake pressed your body against the cool wall of the shower, your face connecting to the wall with a moan. He wrapped your hair around his hand, pulling your face from the wall, his mouth brushing against the shell of your ear as the hot water spilled between your bodies.Â
He slid in and out of you with such ease, pulling and yanking at your hair, teeth biting your ear, tongue sliding up and down your ear, soft moans escaping his lips with each thrust and kiss of his tip to your cervix, âFuck baby, canât get enough of you.âÂ
You balanced your hands on the wall, slightly pushing yourself down and lifting back your hips so Jake could pound into you easier, âJaeeee,â your whimper, âGonna cum soon.âÂ
He smirked, âYeah, babe?â he slowed his thrusts, yanking your hair and forcing your back to connect to his wet chest, âWanna cum? And make a mess of my cock?â you nod, reaching your hands up and into his wet hair.Â
Jake wanted to ruin your pussy. Wanted to fuck you so good you wouldnât be able to walk for weeks. Fucking you slowly was driving him crazy but oh god it felt so damn good. His breaking became uneven, his moans getting louder. He wanted to cum. To fill your cunt to the brim with his seed and hear your pretty little moans once you feel it seeping out your hole.Â
He removed his hand from your hair, sliding his hands down your arms and to your breasts, tracing their outline and flicking your nipples then continued down to your belly and sliding to your waist.Â
Jake looked down at your body, loving how it moved with his cock sliding against your walls, eyes taking notice of your stab wounds. Jake locked his jaw as he traced his fingers over the still-healing wounds. Your stitches are gone now, but the scars will now last you forever. A remembrance of what happened to you. A reminder to Jake of what was done to you.Â
You felt Jake was disconnected, in some faraway land as he stared down at your wounds, âJake,â you whisper, tilting your head up to look at him, âLook at me,â Your hand touched his cheek and his eyes looked to you, worried filling them, âIâm alive. Iâm here and Iâm alive thanks to you,â you slid your hand to the back of his neck, pulling him down, your lips brushing over his, âYouâre literally balls deep in my pussy right now, focus on me.âÂ
He smirked against your lips, then kissed you hard. Your chest was now back against the wall. One of his hands was on your clit, and the other was on your hip. His hips fucked up into you harder and faster than before, your knees buckling, âHmm what is it, babe?â He coos in your ear, âYou said you wanted to cum, so Iâm going to make you cum.âÂ
You moaned his name on repeat, fingers trying their hardest to grip to the wall and praying your knees donât give out on you. You just wanted to take a nice warm shower before cuddling with Jake on the couch and watching movies, he obviously had other plans. Pulling back the curtains already naked and cock hard in his hands, eyes leading with you as he stepped into the shower with you, âBaby, I need you to take care of this. Need you so bad.â You werenât complaining, shower sex then cuddling afterward? Still a win-win.Â
His finger of your clit with the help of his cock buried deep inside you, your orgasm approached, coating his cock, âThatâs it, such a good girl for me, making such a pretty mess on my cock,â he kissed your temple, âIâm fixing to cum, squeeze me tighter, honey.â You clenched around him and he gasped, whimpering out as his breathing became more unsteady. Heart racing as he felt the build-up, cock twitching, âIâm cumming, Iâm cu-cumming.âÂ
Jake shoved his cock as far as he could into your pussy, hips pressing hard against your ass as his white ropes shot between your gummy walls. Jake already knew he came a lot, he could feel it seeping out your hole and physically see it was dripping down your leg.Â
âI came so much,â he whispered and chuckled, slowly pulling out and cupping your cunt with his hand, shoving his fingers inside, âCanât let it go to waste, wanna breed you.â
You leaned back into your boyfriend and smiled. You wanted to tease him that you were on birth control, but let him smile and kiss you as he continued to fuck your cunt with his fingers.Â
You finally were able to convince Jake that it was time to finish the shower and get out, mostly now that the water was cold. Jake stood behind you with nothing but his basketball shorts on, running a brush through your hair as his other hand held the hairdryer. He stopped every couple of minutes to place a kiss on your head and whisper he loved you. He even gave you one of his favorite sweatshirts and a pair of his boxers for you to wear to be comfy. You figured his actions were all the cause of you getting stabbed. Hell if this is what it took for him to be this sweet, youâd get stabbed again(totally not, because that shit sucked. Youâd never want to go through it again).Â
Once your hair was dry, Jake pulled you into the living room, âWant popcorn, my love?âÂ
You smiled, giving him a nod, âOf course! Canât have movie night withâŚoutâŚâ your smile faded. Causing Jakeâs smile to fade as well.Â
Your eyes widened, everything happening way too fast before you could tell Jake to move.Â
Jake felt something was off when he saw how you looked behind him. He quickly whipped around, being met face to face with ghost face, their knife sliding into his chest just below his collar bone. He grunts out in pain, but uses the strength he had to push you away from them and onto the floor, then quickly grasping their wrists. Itâs not there⌠Jake pushed the ghost face back, sending them back a couple of steps away.Â
Jake took a few quick deep breaths and pulled the knife from his chest, tossing it across the living room. The ghost face was moving back towards Jake, swinging his fist but missing as Jake ducked down.Â
Blood was gushing down his chest, making him lightheaded, and once he was low enough to the ground, his knees betrayed him and gave out, connecting to the floor and hands gripping his wound.Â
The ghost face came prepared, pulling another knife from their cloak pocket, and walked up behind Jake, grasping a handful of his hair and yanking his head up. Jake gritted his teeth as he stared up at the mask, the knife resting against his throat.Â
âGoodbye, Sim.â The voice mod said with a shake in their voice.Â
Jake just smiles up at him.Â
Time seemed to have slowed for you just then. Your heart racing as you see the imposter hovering over Jake, panic filling you. You were going to watch him kill Jake. They were going to kill Jake then kill you. Your breathing became uneven as you stared at him, watching as he smirked and laughed at the person standing over and about to kill him. How could he be laughing with a knife to his throat? The knife. Where was the knife?
You looked where Jake tossed it at, seeing it near the couch, his blood staining the blade and the carpet it sat beneath. With shaky legs, you stood to your feet, moving as fast as your legs would carry you, picking up the knife.Â
The ghost face tilted his head, âWhat is so funny?âÂ
âYouâre not the ghost face, Park.âÂ
Before he could respond to Jake, you plunged forward, pushing the knife into his shoulder, his screams filling the apartment and his blood coating your face as you yanked the knife out. With all your strength you pulled at the cloak, digging your foot into the back of his knee and sending him to the ground.Â
The moment his back touched the floor, you straddled over his abdomen, the knife piercing into his chest, pushing it further in into the hilt touching his skin.Â
âWait! Fuck please wait!âÂ
You snarled. He just stabbed your boyfriend and nearly killed you weeks ago and he had the guts to beg? Fuck. This.Â
You pulled the knife out and shoved it back in, âYou think you can just beg for your life now?â You snapped.Â
âItâs Jay!! Please, YN, STOP!!â You sat still, feeling Jayâs hands on your thighs. He gasped for air and you went back to panicking.Â
You quickly pulled the mask off his face, seeing the sweat build up on his forehead and blonde hair sticking to his face. Blood dripped out of his mouth and fear covered every inch of his face.Â
âItâsâŚyouâŚâ you whispered.Â
Jay shook his head to the best of his ability, âIâm not the ghost face.â
âHeâs telling the truth,â Jake said, standing behind you, eyes burning into Jay, âHow the fuck did you find out where we lived?âÂ
Jay gasped more for air, more blood spilling from his chest and shoulder wounds.Â
âJake, call an ambulance!!â You snapped, pulling the knife from Jayâs chest and pressing your hands to the wounds, âNOW!! You need help too!âÂ
Jake held the pressure still to his chest and repeated, âHow the fuck did you find out where we lived, Jay Park.âÂ
Jay took as deep of a breath as he could, squeezing your thighs, âI didnât. The real ghost face called me one night, telling me he knew who I was, and who my family was, saying he had a job for me.âÂ
Jake narrowed his eyes, âKeep fucking talking.âÂ
âI laughed and ended the call. A few days later a duffle bag filled with money appeared on my front porch, with a note telling me to answer my phone, so when it rang, I answered, hearing that stupid voice mod on the other end,â he gasped for air again, âThey mentioned the job again, and that the money was my payment. I asked what the job was, and they told me to kill you, Sim.âÂ
Jakeâs face was unchanged, but your heart was racing. You stared at Jay, his eyes looking back at you, his thumbs rubbing against your skin.Â
âI declined at first, I couldnât take him away from you, YN. No matter my feelings for you I couldnât do it. I donated the money to charity and went on about my business. The next day you were attacked.âÂ
You kept the pressure on his chest, tears now filling your eyes, âJayâŚâÂ
âAfter that I tried calling the number over and over, figuring it was a burner phone. But once you returned back to campus, I started receiving text messages,â You recalled the memory, Jayâs phone constantly buzzing and Jake snapping at him to answer it, âThe texts told me that if I didnât kill Sim, they would kill not just YN, but my family. They sent me photos of my parents at their jobs, photos of my friends in their homes, and photos of Jungwon in the new rooms. Photos of YN the day she was stabbed walking into campus and then photos of her bleeding out on the sidewalk and the last photo of you Sim, from the journaling office, wearing the exact clothes you did the day I received all those texts, meaning the killer had to be nearby.âÂ
Jake processed the information and then kneeled down to Jayâs face, âHow did you find out where we lived?âÂ
âThey sent me your address,â he swallowed but then coughed, the red liquid now dripping down his neck, âThey gave me a time frame on when I had to do it. Told me the password to the gates of the apartment complex, which building, floor, and apartment number.âÂ
Jake tilted his head, narrowing his eyes, âAnd you thought you could just walk in here and kill me? Donât you know who I am? That Iâm fucking insane. Mostly when my girl's life is on the line?âÂ
Jay closed his eyes tightly, releasing a groan, âTrust me, after the day you fucked her in my arcade I knew you were fucking crazy.â Jayâs words were now shuddering, his voice becoming softer, âI wasâŚscared. I couldnâtâŚlose my family and friends.âÂ
âWho is the ghost face?â Jake tested.Â
âIâŚdonâtâŚknow.âÂ
You looked up at Jake, begging him, âCall an ambulance, Jake. Please!â you started crying, blaming yourself for if Jay died, âJake!âÂ
Jake stood, taking a few steps back. He understood Jayâs desperation. If some wack ass killer in a white mask and black suit told him to murder someone or else they would kill you, heâd do every task they asked of him.Â
âWhere is your phone?â He asked Jay.
Jay couldnât form words, but nodded to his pocket. You let go of his chest for enough time to pull the phone from the cloak, Jake taking it from your hands, the phone soaked red.Â
You continued to beg Jake to call an ambulance, tears staining your face as more of Jayâs blood stained the carpet and Jakeâs eyes started to unfocus.Â
â
You sat on the table in the office, kicking your feet back and forth and fingers gripping the edge of the table. A knock hit the door, and you looked in its direction, âCome in.âÂ
Heeseung popped his head in, glasses falling to the tip of his nose, âYou called a meeting?â
You smiled and nodded, âCome on in.âÂ
Heeseung fully walked in, taking a look around the room, âWhere is everyone else?â He asked, raising his brow.Â
âThey should be here soon,â you leaned back a bit against the table, âItâs just you and me for right now.âÂ
Heeseung awkwardly nodded, fingers playing with the straps of his backpack and looking down to the floor.Â
âWhy donât you come over here?â You playfully said, âSet your stuff done and come here.â The corners of his lips pulled into a small smile. He nodded again and dropped his bag to the floor.Â
Heeseung stood across from you, leaning against the filing cabinet, pushing his glasses back up his nose.Â
You look him up and down, âJake told me you had a crush on me.âÂ
Heeseungâs eyes widened, ears burning red, âH-He what? Thatâs silly, YN.â He looked away from you and back to the floor.Â
âYou donât have to lie to me, Seungie,â he looked back up at you. You spread your legs apart, âWhat if I told you I felt the same way?â Heeseung swallowed, eyes trailing down to your bare legs, shorts riding up your crotch, âCome here, Hee.âÂ
Heeseung pushed himself off the cabinet and walked up to you.Â
You tilted your head, âCome closer.â You shot your eyes down between your legs and back up to his face.Â
Heeseung took a step back, âNo, we canât do this.âÂ
âJake wonât find out,â you whispered, reaching up and grabbing the collar of his tee shirt, pulling him between your legs.Â
You wrapped them around his hips, locking him into place. You kept your fingers on his collar, pulling him closer, âYouâre so cute when youâre flustered,â you teased him, blowing your breath onto his glasses, watching them fog up.Â
Heeseung shot his hands to your thighs, âDonât tease me,â he whispered, the fog lifting off his glasses, revealing his blown-out eyes.Â
You scooted yourself closer, your ass barely hanging off the table, and pulled him even closer with your legs, his hard length now pressing to your stomach. You smirked, âA little excited, are we?âÂ
Heeseungâs hands slid up your thighs, squeezing and yanking you closer, shifting himself to press his length to your heat, âI told you to not tease me.âÂ
You snaked your hands up to his neck, playing with his hair, âI have to be honest, I didnât call a meeting. Only you.âÂ
Heeseung cutely giggled, thumbs rubbing the plush of your skin, âOnly me?âÂ
You nodded, âCome closer.âÂ
Heeseung leaned in, his lips brushing against yours, âI want to kiss you so badâŚcan I?âÂ
You brushed your lips back, âCan I tell you something first?âÂ
He rocked his hips against you, âAnything.âÂ
âHow did it feel?â Heeseung moves away a few inches, looking at you in confusion, âHow did it feel to stab me three times and leave me for dead, Mr. Ghost face?âÂ
His hand was now in your hair, pulling your head back and a yelp escaped your mouth.Â
Everything about Heeseung changed. His body straightened out, face from relaxed to hard, jaw locked and eyes piercing. You looked up at him in fear, and he just laughed.Â
âYou finally figured me out huh?â even his voice was different. It was no longer the cute bubbly tone, but now it was chilling and cold. He pulled your hair back further, giving you no choice but to look at him, âOr should I say, the original figured me out.âÂ
You swallowed, âWhy did you do it? I trusted you.âÂ
âOh, sweetheart,â Heeseung smirked, lifting his other hand from your thigh and caressing your face, the watch youâve seen before sitting on his wrist perfectly, âWhy did I do it? Do what? Gotta be more specific.âÂ
Youâve done this dance before with Jake, âWhy did you commit those murders? Why did you stab me?âÂ
He smirked even wider, âBecause it was fun,â his voice sent chills down your spine, âAnd for why I stabbed you?â he leaned forward, brushing his nose to your jaw, âBecause I wanted to watch the love of my life bleed out.â His breath formed goosebumps on your neck and he chuckled, gently planting a kiss on your neck, âIt was so easy to convince Jay to break into your apartment,â he stood back up, âAll I had to do was threaten your life. You have a lot of crazy people in your corner, donât you, sweetheart?âÂ
You took a few deep breaths in, trying to stay calm, âYou wanted Jake to suffer, why?âÂ
Heeseung leaned back inches away from your face, âBecause he has something that I want, a few things, actually.â He ran his hand back down to your thigh, snaking his fingers under your shorts, âWhere is he, by the way? Does he know where you are right now? He is a crazy fucking dog after all.â You glanced over Heeseungâs shoulder.Â
âThis crazy fucking dog is right behind you,â Jake hissed, a knife now pressing to Heeseungâs throat, âAnd I suggest you back the fuck off my girlfriend before I start barking and slit your throat.âÂ
Heeseung released his hands off you, slowly backing away with Jake, âWhere the fuck did you come from?âÂ
Jake chuckled, patting Heeseungâs back, âThis is my office, you donât think I donât know every inch of this room from top to bottom to hide in? For a serial killer, youâre fucking stupid.âÂ
Heeseung gritted his teeth, âGo to hell.âÂ
Jake pressed the blade more into his skin, âItâs crazy how you were able to mimic everything I did, even down to the weapon and clothes, stalker much?âÂ
âHad to learn somehow,â Heeseung countered with a smirk, âAt least I succeeded in almost killing YN, versus you folding the minute her legs were spread.âÂ
âWatch your fucking mouth!â Jake barked, âI will spill your blood so fucking fast donât try me.âÂ
The rage Jake was feeling at this moment, the rage that was boiling, and every instinct telling him to slide Heeseungâs throat for the hell heâs put him through. For hurting you.Â
Heeseung laughed, âYour buttons are so easy to push when YN is involved.âÂ
You pierce your eyes into him, âIf Jake doesnât kill you, I will!âÂ
Heeseung tilted his head back, âLike how you almost killed Jay?âÂ
That statement was enough proof to show Heeseung had access to your cameras, he was watching the entire thing unfold.Â
âAnyway,â Jake clicked his tongue, âWhere is your sidekick?âÂ
Heeseung chuckled, âMy what?âÂ
Jake sighed, âShould we ask Sunoo about it instead? I know heâs outside that door. Ainât that right, Sun?âÂ
The door opened and a smiling Sunoo walked in, âFigured us both out that easily?âÂ
âWe figured Heeseung had help,â you said, pushing yourself off the table and picking up his backpack and placing it on the table, âJake and I discussed this plenty at the hotel room weâve been in the last couple nights, that he had to have help. Heeseung was too calm while Jayâs phone was getting spammed. Heeseung didnât even have his phone out. How did he receive those texts?âÂ
You opened the backpack, seeing a laptop, one textbook, and the ghost face mask. You looked at Sunoo, âYouâre the one who sent the texts to Jay and helped Heeseung track us at all times. You have your own mask too, donât you? Hiding it in the investigation room?âÂ
Sunoo kept his smile, âIt was there,â he shot his eyes to Jake, âBut Iâm assuming itâs no longer there.âÂ
Jake smirked, âYou think Iâd let some fucking copycats steal my thunder? Nah.â He removed the knife from Heeseungâs throat, and pushed him away, quickly grabbing you and pulling you to his side, âBesides,â Jake chuckled, wrapping his arm around your waist and looking down at the knife, âAll the evidence I have against you was already turned into the police. Sunooâs gear too. And now that we have your gear,â Jake tossed the knife to the table, âThe cops have everything they needed.âÂ
The sounds of running filled the hallways, enough proof that the police had finally arrived. Heeseung and Sunoo didnât loosen their glares off you and Jake even as their wrists got cuffed and they were dragged out of the office.Â
Jake pulled you into a hug, his breath hitching, âItâs over,â he whispered in your ear, âItâs finally over.âÂ
You hugged your boyfriend tightly, âIâm proud of you for not killing him.âÂ
Jake chuckled, âTrust me, honey, it took a lot to not.âÂ
A few investigators questioned you and Jake, then sent you on your way. You and Jake were able to walk home freely with no worries.Â
Heeseung and Sunoo were on the news that night, video footage of them being pushed into the police cars and being hauled off, the newsman discussing each murder case, including the ones Jake committed. Each victim is named in tribute to the killer finally being caught.Â
You laid on top of Jake on your shared couch, the bandages from his stab wound Jay gave him peeked out of his hoodie. You traced your fingers over it, âDoes it still hurt?âÂ
Jake shifted his gaze from the TV to you, âNot as much as what it felt like when I thought youâd died.âÂ
You traced your fingers over his face, stopping at his lips, him kissing the pads of your fingers.Â
âYou wonât have to ever feel that feeling again,â you reassured him.Â
Jake nodded, wrapping his arms around you, âI know. I wonât let anyone harm you again,â He pressed a kiss to your forehead and softly chuckled, âI am proud of you for how you lured him in, his shyness and awkwardness might have all been fake and an act, but the way you reeled in him and played with his feelings? Those were so true. You should be an actor, for real.âÂ
You roll your eyes at him, âI want to be an investigative journalist, donât have time for acting.â
Jake cupped your face and kissed you gently, âAnd youâll make one hell of one too.âÂ
The kiss went from passionate and soft, to deep and hard. Jake pulled your and his clothes off until you were both bare and you straddled his lap, riding his cock and pinning his hands above his head against the armrest. Jake was a moaning and gasping mess as you continued to ride, letting you have full control.Â
You smiled down at your serial killer, watching as his brows furrowed and eyes shut tightly when he came.Â
Everything was perfect and how it should be.

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The Pantheon: A Series
an enhypen gods au x reader [afab] collection
Six gods, all carrying the world upon their shoulders, powers unimaginable to mere mortals. And yet they fall, one by one, in love with nothing more than the most devout, the most holy, the most pure hearted of all their followers. One by one these gods fall, unable to stop themselves, drawn to the mortals that call out to them, that beckon them to their sides. And one by one, these gods wait, knowing that every exchange, every mortal brought to the heavens, it tips the balance. How long can they wait before their hands are forced to make a choice to balance the scales once more?
warning: god au, religious imagery, religious themes, greek mythology inspired; explicit sexual content (ot6 only), god fucking, vaginal sex, *unprotected sex (please be sure to read every part for a more complete list of warnings!)
PART 1: Justice & Mercy [jay park x virgin!reader] PART 2: Merriment & the Arts [jake sim x artist!reader] PART 3: Disaster & Safe Passage [park sunghoon x traveler!reader] PART 4: Healing & Benevolence [kim sunoo x reader] PART 5: Protection & the Hunt [nishimura riki x hunter!reader] PART 6: Seas & Storms [yang jungwon x reader] PART 7: Tragedy & Balance [lee heeseung x muse!reader]
"You'll become a Goddess yet..."
taglist: CLOSED
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