Td Duncney - Tumblr Posts
Bros before Hoes
In which Duncan happens to find his neighbor cute, and his idiot roommates throw him a party because of it.
(AKA: The bros who drink together, sleep together)
Inspired by PPG/RRB fic on ao3
“Are you fucking kidding me?”
On a list of things Duncan would like to wake up to (women on the top, cops on the bottom), this is not it. Heck, this probably wouldn’t even be on the list.
And by this, he means the completely trashed apartment littered with beer bottles, overflowing trash, and very questionable stains on the walls. Not to mention the dead bodies currently scattered around the living room.
Wait, not dead bodies, but Duncan can only wish.
How was this possible? He went to sleep at, like, ten last night and if he wasn’t mistaken, he had gone to bed while the house was quiet and the only people home were Geoff and DJ. So how the hell were there more than a dozen people in the living room and why did it look like an absolute shit show?
A groan emerges from the couch before a blonde head appears in sight. “Oh,” Geoff says when he sees Duncan standing there. “Sup, dude?”
“What— ” Duncan takes a breath. “ —THE ACTUAL FUCK HAPPENED HERE?!”
Geoff winces and raises a hand to rub his head. “Ouch, not so loud. I have a headache.” He whined.
So did Duncan. “What. Happened. Here.” Duncan narrowed his eyes and lowered his voice dangerously. Geoff laughs awkwardly and avoids his eyes.
“Oh, well, we sorta … kinda … uh,” Geoff gestures vaguely at the apartment. “... had a party?”
Duncan honestly doesn’t know how he could be surprised. This is what he gets for rooming with Geoff.
“How?!” He yells at him. Duncan wasn’t a really light sleeper, but he’s pretty sure he would’ve heard a party going on downstairs. “What time did these people get here!? How did I sleep through a fucking party?”
“Yeah … about that,” Geoff laughs nervously. “We sorta had a kickback last night but we knew you were asleep so we didn’t want to wake you up. Somehow, it became a game of ‘how quiet can this party be so Duncan doesn’t wake up' and we lasted the whole night! You didn’t wake up at all! Everyone was whispering and we had music playing at the lowest volume, and it was actually really fun. Super weird, but fun.”
Duncan is almost impressed. Almost. Trust Geoff to make a quiet party fun. “I’m not helping you clean up,” he informs him. He eyes a body on the floor that turns out to be DJ, cuddling an empty beer bottle while completely unconscious.
“Aww, dude!” Geoff whines, “I hate cleaning! Come on, we kept it quiet for you!”
Duncan takes another look around the room and begrudgingly admits that it is kinda amazing that they managed to have a party without him waking up. It’s actually a little sweet that they took him into consideration. But still, fuck them.
“No.”
“Duncaaan,” Geoff groans, throwing his upper body off the couch. “C’mon, bro! Please? Dunky? Dunk-man?”
“Don’t call me that!” Duncan yells as he grabs his gym bag. “And this place better be spotless by the time I get back!”
He slams the door and a satisfied smile grows on his face as Geoff’s protests are cut off. Duncan turns to head down the hallway and nearly crashes with someone who lets out a high pitched squeal.
“Oh! I’m sorry!”
Duncan looks down and— oh hell, it’s her. Of all the people in the apartment for him to run into, why does it have to be her? Granted, she did live next to him— but still, why?
Wide brown eyes peer up at him and her head cocks slightly to the side as she blinks. “Oh, it’s you.”
“Huh?” He’s so close to her he can see the smattering of freckles on her nose.
“Oh! Sorry, I just mean I see you around a lot because you’re my neighbor,” she stumbles, cheeks turning a little pink.
“Oh,” he says a bit more gruffly than he should. He tries his hardest not to check her out and fails. She must’ve just come back from a jog — her short brown hair is tied back and she’s wearing tiny gray shorts and a matching crop top.
“Are you going to the gym right now?” She asks, taking note of the gym bag slung over his shoulder.
“Yeah,” Duncan grunts, staring at the staircase behind her. He will not be weakened by a tight fitting tank top, he will not. “I go early to avoid people, I hate crowded gyms.”
She makes a noise of understanding. There’s a beat of awkward silence, where she looks as uncomfortable as he feels before she sticks out her hand.
“I’m sorry, but I don’t think I ever got your name.” She tucks a loose piece of hair behind her ear and Duncan’s eyes follow it, wondering why the hell he thought the little action was so cute.
“Duncan,” he shakes her hand, hyper aware of how soft and small her hand is as his big and callus ones swallow hers.
“Courtney,” she dimples and Duncan’s stupid heart skips a beat. “Well, have fun!” She smiles cheerily at him and Duncan can’t take his eyes off of her. What the fuck.
“Thanks,” he mutters as he walks past her. He catches a glance of her as she opens the door to her own apartment. Damn it, she has a nice ass.
Duncan contemplates throwing himself down the stairs before he decides against it.
It’s a waste, he figures. One flight won’t really do any damage.
***
By the time Duncan makes it home it’s evening. Stopping in front of his door, Duncan narrows his eyes as he hears muffled voices inside the apartment. Either Geoff and DJ actually cleaned the place or he’s about to open the door to the same shitshow as this morning.
For their sake, he hopes the former.
He pushes the door open and the apartment abruptly falls quiet. The two occupants have frozen in fear, staring at the door with varying degrees of terror. DJ is cowering behind Geoff, who isn’t making a very suitable defense seeing as he too, is shielding away. Duncan’s eyes flit between them and he’s pleased to see a cleaning device in each of their hands.
The apartment isn’t exactly clean, but it’s not a complete mess anymore. At least they’re trying, he has to give them that.
“O-Oh hey man, you’re back,” Geoff coughs, hugging a broom to his chest. “We were cleaning, I swear!”
“I can see that,” he grunts, closing the door. “Sup, Malibu?” He greets the other occupant in his apartment.
Bridgette is sitting by the counter, skimming through a surf magazine while stroking DJ’s pet, Bunny. She looks up with calm green eyes and gives him an easy smile. “Hey Duncan,” she says.
“What happened to being clean by the time I got back?” Duncan asks his roommates pointedly.
“Cut us some slack man, we didn’t really wake up until Bridgette got here,” DJ says from his spot by the sink.
Duncan ignores him with a roll of his eyes, plopping down across from Bridgette. Bunny hops over to him curiously and Duncan sets him with a glare. Yeah, he might have gotten DJ his pet after Geoff and Bridgette might’ve killed his last one (Geoff kept insisting it was lost while Bridgette said it was eaten by a snake that was eaten by a hawk or something), but that didn’t mean he wanted that thing closer to him.
Duncan didn’t do cute things.
So lost in his (one-sided) glaring contest, Duncan didn’t notice the change in conversation until too late.
“Oh yeah, who’s that cute girl by the way?” Geoff asks. “You know, the one who lives next to us?”
“Oh, you mean Courtney? Short brown hair, cute smile?"
It’s a little embarrassing how quickly Duncan perks up, and from the corner of his eye he can see Bridgette give him a knowing glance. Duncan scowls warningly. Out of the four of them, only Malibu knows about his little problem— and Duncan would like to keep it that way, thank you very much.
Except the thing is, he forgets how much Bridgette likes a good romance. “Oh yeah! The girl that Duncan likes, right?"
The reaction is instantaneous.
“What?! Bro, you have a crush? No way!”
“Why didn’t you tell us? My boy’s growin’ up!”
“EVERYONE SHUT UP!” Duncan roars and Bunny leaps back in shock.
Bridgette just grins and flips through another page of her magazine. Duncan is tempted to crumble it up. “Oh, you didn’t know?” She says casually. “He met her a few weeks ago and it was like love at first sight.”
It was not.
“You should’ve seen him! She stopped by to say hi, he said ‘nice to meet you’ and when she left he couldn’t get a word out for the next ten minutes. He just gawked at her, although, I guess I can’t blame him. She was cute.”
He did not.
“I’ve never seen him look so lost before, it was kinda adorable. I think he was blushing.”
He was not.
“Bro, I don’t think you’ve ever had a crush before, have you?” DJ asks.
“How would you know!" He shoots back indignantly.
DJ shrugs, unaffected by the rage that’s coming off of him in waves. “I dunno man, I’ve just never seen you show any real interest in anyone before."
Duncan is momentarily struck dumb. Shit, was DJ right? He’s had crushes, right? This isn’t so special. Of course he’s had his fair share of girls, dicked around with them like any other guy— but those had only been short flings, chicks he’d pick up in bars and fool around with until he was no longer interested. Has he never really had a crush before?
Geoff, thankfully, interrupts his spiraling thought process and slings an arm around his neck. “Dudes, you know what we should do?” He grins. “Let’s celebrate!”
“Hell no!” Duncan shoves him away. “What are we even celebrating for?”
“Your first crush, dude!” Geoff beams and Duncan is this close to strangling the happy-dumb look off his face.
“It’s not a crush!” He yells.
“C’mon man, it’s Saturday,” DJ says. He even pulls out his puppy eyes, as if his sparkling round orbs are going to convince him. “What are you even gonna do today anyway, huh?”
Duncan grimaces and can feel himself actually give the idea some consideration. Why is he considering it again?
“We’ll get your favorites,” DJ adds. “It’s your party after all. You get to call the shots.”
Duncan winces. He takes a look around the room and sees their stupid faces beaming with excited grins.
Duncan sighs. “Fine.”
***
One pack of beer, two bags of chips, and three pizzas later, and everyone is absolutely smashed.
It’s at this point Duncan can say with complete confidence that he fucking loves his best friends. Sure, DJ can’t swim without a floaty and always listens to his mama and Geoff is way too happy and loud and can’t go a day without making out with Bridgette, but man, they’re just, like, such good people.
Like, he just loves the fucking hell out of them. They’re the best guys out there, and have been with his shitty self since high school. Duncan doesn’t know why he spent so long denying that they were friends— he wishes he could beat his younger punk-ass self for all the dumb things he said back then.
If only there was some way he could express how he felt.
“Hey, I fucking hate you guys,” Duncan says earnestly. “But, like, in the best way.”
They groan in acknowledgment and Duncan closes his eyes.
Girls are dumb. Feelings are dumb. Everything is dumb, but he doesn’t even care anymore. Why? Because he’s got his boys by him, and Duncan would fight the whole fucking world for them.
Yeah.
***
Duncan wakes up to something soft and fluffy smothering him. Fur is in his mouth, and he is suffocating on it because his head is pounding and he doesn't have the strength to pull away.
Duncan groans, agonized as the fluffy thing slides off his face. He squints to see Bunny, furry butt in his face as it cuddles against him. You better not have pooped in my bed, Duncan doesn’t have the strength to threaten aloud. His mouth is tacky and his eyes are crusty and Duncan would very much like to wake up when the next century has passed, thanks.
Duncan lets out an annoyed grumble and tosses the covers from his body. He’s about to roll over to the ground to do his push-ups (a habit he’s had since juvie) when he notices two things.
One: the sheer amount of nausea he feels. Duncan almost throws up if it weren’t for the deep breaths Malibu taught him to calm himself. Oh God, he’s definitely listening to her more when she goes on about him and the guys consuming poison. Hangovers are hell.
Two: the suspiciously familiar cowboy hat.
“What the fuck?!”
His hoarse yell makes the other occupant in his bed jerk awake. “Man, keep it down,” DJ says. His bandana is twisted backwards. “It’s too early.” A hand appears to shove him back into bed.
Duncan is tempted to smack him away, but that requires effort and energy. None of which he has right now. He settles for a weak shove as DJ snuggles him like he would Bunny. Curse him and his incessant need for cuddling. “Why the fuck are you in my bed?”
Another groan sounds by his feet. Geoff yawns and rubs his eyes, lifting his head to look at them. He looks stupid without his ever-present hat on (he looks stupid with it on anyway) and is curled up like a puppy at the foot of the bed. Duncan is struck with the urge to kick him off before he decides that’s too cruel.
“Don’t you remember?” Geoff asks. “We all came in here to talk about our feelings.”
Duncan stares at him in disbelief. “No we did not.”
“Yeah we did, and it was magical,” Geoff responds, voice muffled as he buries his face into the pillow. “You wouldn’t shut up about the girl who lives next door.”
“Courtney,” DJ supplies helpfully.
Duncan stares in mute horror. How drunk did he get last night? He talked about feelings? And girls?
Who even is he?
“It’s okay Duncan. Mama always says that the more you deny the bigger the feelings are. You can keep pretending you’re not a softie. It’ll come out someday.” DJ pats his head, like Duncan’s green mohawk is supposed to be Geoff’s idiotic blonde mop.
Duncan almost tells him to fuck off, but bites his tongue because DJ is too sensitive to be told that. Instead, he says, “And doesn’t your Mama say to never drink?” DJ reaches a hand out to cover his face and shoves him back down into his pillow.
Wow, the bed feels amazing.
DJ tries to pet him like he would Bunny — all gentle and reassuring — but the big guy’s hand feels like a meaty deadweight hitting his face over and over again.
“I hate you guys,” Duncan mutters, shoving his hand away.
“Yeah, yeah, we know,” Geoff yawns. It sounds like he’s going back to sleep. That actually sounds like a pretty nice idea.
“You guys better get out,” Duncan grunts, feeling his eyelids grow heavy, “I’m warning you.” He lets himself sink deeper into his pillow. “Leave or die,” he mutters, eyes closing. The last thing he hears is Geoff’s quiet snoring.
They don’t leave, and Duncan sleeps peacefully.
top 10 couples who matched eachothers freak
duncney as tweets😻
duncney
I love themm
Exact same energy
I am in my duncney feels
Is there a duncney fic where Courtney or Duncan know how their relationship ends and get sent back to the beginning to start over?
And here’s to 17 more
17 years of total drama
17 years of stanning Courtney
17 years of shipping Duncney
Pinterest knows me well
Gwen stans/duncney antis are insane
All within the same hour
pleaseeee duncney arttt PLEASEEEE i love ur art
Here you go! And thank you!
-DOT
Just saying loml is so WT Duncney coded
HC that duncan is the only one that's seen courtney with her natural curly hair so in that one scene in tda where he was in the trailer yapping to justin all like "u know who has nice hair? courtney" he was actually thinking about her curly hair and how much he loves it Ok im crying
status update : obsessed with duncney.