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Be My Favorite - Retrospective on Episode 1 and Repression of Desires due to Fear

For a full day in the pilot of Be My Favorite, Kawi operates as if he’s in a dream when he time travels back to the past. This is one of my least favorite tropes, usually. What’s the fun in a character in an exciting scenario if the character isn’t even cognizant of it? Often, I yawn and simply rock back and forth in my chair waiting for the protagonist to realize what has happened and to start thinking with their brain. And when I first watched the show, I also expected a time loop rather than what we got, and didn't realize what was actually going on.

Be My Favorite, would make me love Kawi spending an entire day back in his college life without realizing his actions have actual consequences, because of how many consequences this actually has, and how his remedies what Kawi's first vice was, or at least the first that I feel was tackled.

Kawi – and we realize later, Pisaeng’s – vice is cowardice and letting things happen around them out of fear. This manifests very differently for both of them, but in the case of Kawi, when we examine a lot of his biggest hangups, it is all centered around inaction. Not making friends. Not telling Pear he’s her secret buddy. Not convincing his dad to go to the hospital. Not getting his friend back. Not doing any of these things that he still regrets. And Kawi, when faced with issues, runs away. He always, without fail, used to run away from all of these scenarios.

But thinking he’s dreaming, we can see Kawi for who he really is. A menace! An annoying, bratty, childish menace. And Pisaeng is immediately attracted to Kawi because he’s genuine, and acting out, and is oozing with the same pain he has – loneliness. This is ultimately what changes the past forever. Kawi can’t go back from now on. He’s bonded to Pisaeng irrevocably, to the point that one night is enough for his future to be as his best friend and future best man (and for Kawi to be doing what he never did before, dancing confidently while drunk in front of everyone in that timeline in a way he never would have).

Pisaeng is similar to Kawi, not living his life in full self-actualization. He’s hiding his sexuality, unable to confront it despite knowing about it. He’s unable to fully be honest with Pear, and in fact, we see that in his original life, he never confronts it And it makes sense. We see that he rejects the superficial “friendship” he has with his former friends, namely Not, but while this is better for Pisaeng (and the correct decision to make, as Not is a total asshole) Pisaeng doesn’t have a friend except for Pear, and he cares for her dearly.

And so of course Pisaeng decides to marry Pear instead of confronting himself honestly. Is it a good idea, and what truly caring for someone should mean? No. It’s an awful idea for everyone. But he does it out of fear and an unwillingness to live his life honestly and to act on his true wants and desires (and later, it is Kawi who gets Pisaeng to break from this and to confront Pear head on, being honest in a way the original Pisaeng was unable to).

And what Kawi has to struggle with now is that now that he’s acted, there’s no going back. He’s changed the past by being himself and taking action for once, and he has to stay that way (this is also why Be My Favorite's type of time travel works so well for the show – what Kawi does in the beginning, taking action and fundamentally changing things – it can't be undone).

There is no way out of the maze he’s walked into without choosing things, making decisions, and becoming a fuller person. At this point, he wants Pear. Pear wants Pisaeng. And Pisaeng, now, he will soon realize, due to his actions in the past, wants him. Kawi has acted. And now Kawi has to go down the painful path to gaining maturity, which he avoided in his bubble of miserable inactivity the first time he lived his life.

Redoing your life is the main conceit of this show. But as the future starts to be rewritten, what the perceptive viewer realizes is that what Kawi needs to learn is what he truly wants, and what kind of a life is a truly fulfilling life. And to get what you want, to be happy, you need to always be truly present. You need to live your life with no regrets. To think back on the past a decade later and think I’ve got everything I wanted. For all you'd ever do different after time traveling back be nothing.

This is what Be My Favorite teaches us. To live honestly, bravely, and to inspire the others in your life to do so as well. Kawi learns to make the most out of his life, and because of him, Pisaeng does as well. And they live happily, holding each other's hands, together. And they're so much better off for it.