Thomas Shelby X Daughter!reader - Tumblr Posts

The Night We Met

Written for @runnning-outof-time lovely challenge, based on The Night We Met by Lord Huron.

This is a part 2 to my fic February 12th which can be found here. It can also be read independently.

After his younger sister dies at the hands of Billy Kimber, Tommy wishes he could go back to the night they met.

‘’She was beautiful, your sister- she’ll be sorely missed’’ a local woman approached Tommy, her hand falling to his back in condolence. The local people were afraid of the blinders, but they would come out for you. After all you might have been the sister of heathens but that did not mean you weren’t kind. You’d babysit the local kids, you’d take round bread- and you’d show up at church even though you didn’t believe. Appearances were everything, Aunt Pol had taught you that.

Tommy was exhausted-and he carried the emotions of those around him heavy on his chest. Your death was his fault, even secondhandedly, even though Kimber had fired the bullet- it was his debt. They blamed him. He could tell from the way that Polly slammed his plate down a little harder in front of him. The way that John wouldn’t take direction anymore. He could see it in Ada’s eyes as she sat tearfully trying to nurse Karl. The collapse in Arthur’s knees as he drank one too many. Just like the war, they’d never come back from this the same.

It was Tommy who now, with your funeral smoke still latched onto his shirt found himself sat in your bedroom. It felt like you’d only been there a minute ago, in a way you had. ‘’I remember the first night I met you’’ he whispered, his finger trailing across the dust of the shelf to find a photo of you. A family photo, you rested in his arms- your favourite place to sleep.

He did remember that night clearly. The walk home from the stables on a crisp cold December night. Frost on his boots that glistened against the stones of Watery Lane. Back then he was a simple 19 year old stable-hand, his only ambition to own his own yard. ‘’She had a girl’’ Polly had whispered, her hand caressing eighteen month old Michael’s hair as he slept on her lap on the sofa. Ah yes, his mother was due today. Babies seemed to be born in abundance as of late in Watery Lane.

‘’Do we have a name?’’ Tommy had responded, shaking the snow off his hat as he embraced the warmth. ‘’Not yet, your mums been too tired to decide, and your dad hasn’t been home’’ Polly sighed, moving to make Micheal more comfortable. ‘’The baby is in your room- to let your mum rest’’

You laid silent in your cot. Hours old and already accustomed to the loud noises of living within the den. Michael’s chubby hands had already examined you, and your older sister had already pushed her dolls brush through your slight curls. John, at seventeen had given you a disinterested glance and Arthur had wriggled you over his shoulder. The only one left to meet you was Tommy.

‘’Hello, you’’ he had whispered, leaning over to get a glimpse at you. Your brown eyes peering back at his blue inquisitively. You were trying to make out this face you had not seen before. ‘’Sorry, I’m the last one to meet you’’ Tommy had lifted you, placing you into his arms as you let out a small cry. He was cold. ‘’Oh, I’m sorry’’ Tommy had whispered, placing his finger in your mouth as you suckled softly. There was nineteen years between you, and Tommy had become an older brother before but this time was different- this time he felt responsible.

‘’She’s a beauty’’ Arthur Snr had leaned against the door frame. His eyes glassed from the beer and his loudness causing you to lean into your brothers arms. ‘’She’s quiet’’ Tommy spoke softly, looking down at you. ‘’Wait til she gets older son, then like most of the women in this family- she’ll never shut up’’.

Who would you become? Tommy wondered. Where would you fit in the world that couldn’t secure its safety for even someone as small as you?. It was no secret that your father had other women he pursued, it was also no secret that your mothers schizophrenia was worsening by the weeks. Tommy knew that if the world were to crumble around you, someone had to protect you- and that someone would be him.

‘’I can move her, if she’s bothering you-‘’ Polly had asked, coming to the door to find Tommy sat by your crib, a book in hand. ‘’I was just reading to her, Pol’’ Tommy whispered, you weren’t asleep but you were enjoying the soft tones of his voice.  ‘’Don’t you think Alice in Wonderland is a bit much for a 12 hour old? Or is it more for you than her’’ Polly asked, amused as he lifted the book. ‘’Reading to her distracts me, helps me forget…about Greta’’ Tommy sighed, taking a cigarette out his pocket and lighting it. He needed your comfort as much as you did his. It was the first time his mind had been given a moments rest in weeks, he’d never forget the night you met.

And then I can tell myself

What the hell I'm supposed to do

And then I can tell myself

Not to ride along with you

‘’He won’t answer to me, to fucking curly, anyone Tom’’ Charlie had exasperated as the black horse screeched in the stable- handing the reign to Tommy who rested his hand down its side. ‘’You’re missing her, aren’t you boy?’’ Tommy kissed the horses side. ‘’I get you- I want to kick this whole fucking stable down too, but that’s not gonna bring her back’’

‘’You didn’t have to react like that’’ you had sighed, hand caressing your horse as you heard the footsteps enter the stable. You knew they were Tommy’s. You’d been caught kissing Harrison Lee down the canal and John had found out through Finn. The gossip had spread like wildfire and before you knew it you’d been summoned to the office. Accusations running wild about your purity and John had already headed down to the camp to threaten Harrison. It was a ridiculous response to a childish game of kiss chase. After all, you were fifteen- nothing had been on your mind except a swig of cherry wine and a kiss against an oak tree. It was a lot less than they had been doing at your age.

‘’I know’’ Tommy had responded, watching as your mouth closed- it was ready to protest, you were always ready to protest lately. ‘’Good, I’m glad you realise you behaved irrationally’’ You sighed, not taking the eyes off of your horse. Tommy knew that it had been an inflammatory response, but it had only been three weeks since he’d found out Ada was pregnant. He couldn’t bear to think of you ending up in the same situation.

‘’Is it wrong to want you to be my bonnet wearing little sister for a little bit longer, eh?’’ Tommy sighed, sitting against a hay bale, and lighting a cigarette. ‘’I hated that bonnet’’ You groaned, as he raised his eyebrows at you. ‘’I thought it looked cute’’ Tommy smiled, watching as your face wrinkled in response. ‘’Go easy on us too, we leave for war and you and Ada, you’re these little angels plaiting each others hair, playing with dolls- we come back and she’s pregnant and you’re out snogging lads on the lane’’ Tommy spoke softly, your heart softening slightly. He had missed so much, you both had. ‘’It wasn’t a snog Tom, more of a passionate peck’’ you teased, watching as his face grimaced as he dropped his cigarette and stamped on it. ‘’Alright, don’t make me bring up lunch’’ he groaned, as you grinned before turning serious. ‘’Tom, do you think Ada is alright?’’ you asked, as he closed his eyes for a moment. ‘’I’ll get Ada back’’

‘’I was going to go for a ride’’ you grabbed the reigns of your horse. ‘’Mind if I ride along with you?’’ Tommy asked. It would be the last time you rode together. He would never get used to not riding alongside you. God, he wanted to go back to the night you first met.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do

Haunted by the ghost of you

Oh, take me back to the night we met

‘’I think we should do something to celebrate’’ Polly spoke softly, looking over at Finn who was eagerly looking for their approval. ‘’Finn wants to bake a cake’’ . ‘’Finn, you have to fucking stop this now- she’s dead, Finn’’ John shouted, shoving his newspaper onto the table.

‘’John you’re hurting- we all are’’ Polly interjected, as Tommy dropped his fork. ‘’No, you’re right- we should do something to celebrate, she originally wanted a party at the Garrison to celebrate turning sixteen- so that’s what we’ll do-‘’ Tommy sighed, as Finn grinned in agreement.

‘’This feels wrong’’ Ada spoke tearfully watching as your friends all gathered in the Garrison. They had grown up so much in the last year- one day they’d grow up for good, get married, have children- all the things that you wouldn’t. ‘’I just want my annoying sister here’’ Ada tearfully spat, as Tommy reached for her hand.

It was good to laugh. They hadn’t for a while. It was good to hear music, your favourites playing on the gramophone. The same music they’d tell you to turn down, now louder than ever. Tommy’s eyes focused on his whiskey glass, spinning the ice around in thought. As he looked up, he was sure he caught glimpse of your red dress entering the bathroom.

‘’Button’’ Tommy had shouted- your nickname falling effortlessly from his lips. Entering the bathroom in instinct. His own belief desperate that somehow you’d be standing there. ‘’It’s just me, Mr Shelby’’ Anna, your school friend looked up from the basin confused. It wasn’t the first time Tommy had been haunted by your ghost.

He didn’t believe in spirits and spells, but he had seen you. He was sure of it. He had heard your footsteps in the next room as he tried to sleep. Seen your face in the reflection of his office doors. Watched as Karl followed nothing around the den but giggled in response.

‘’Sixteen eh?’’ Tommy knelt at your grave, the red roses that he placed in the pot that was shiny and gold. His hands reaching to behind the pot where a book lay drying in the sun from the rain. Alice in Wonderland, and as Tommy sat down by your grave as he did your crib, he found himself gently reading from beginning again. How he wished it was the night you met.

When the night was full of terrors

And your eyes were filled with tears

When you had not touched me yet

Oh, take me back to the night we met

‘’I forbid you from going-‘’ You had crossed your arms in defiance as you stood on the platform. Eleven years old, and you’d already said goodbye to Arthur and John. It was Tommy’s turn today. ‘’You need to help Pol and Ada take care of Finn’’ Tommy had sighed, throwing his cigarette to the ground and kneeling to your level. ‘’If you don’t come back-‘’ you had muttered, holding Finn’s hand tight. ‘’Who said anything about not coming back?’’ Tommy nodded, and lifted your chin.

‘’You listen here, eh, we are a family, whether we are in the same house or a million miles apart, anyways I have to come back because whose going to run the fucking office eh?’’ Tommy smiled as he swallowed a sob. He was scared, but more scared of never seeing any of you again.

‘’I was making sure Arthur was alright’’ you whispered, sat on the floor next to Arthur who was asleep on the sofa- Tommy interrupting the silence. ‘’He’s just drunk, Button’’ Tommy had sighed, watching as you relit the candle which had gone out. ‘’He’s always drunk’’ you rolled your eyes, as Tommy handed you a blanket out of the basket. ‘’Well, it helps with the night terrors’’ Tommy responded, sitting by the fire.

‘’He’s not the only one who gets night terrors’’ you swallowed a sob, as your brother looked at your dark eyes turning glassed. ‘’Why didn’t you tell us about them, if you’re having nightmares?’’ Tommy asked, a softness returning to him he hadn’t been able to show until yet. ‘’Because, I don’t matter- I didn’t fight at war, I have nothing to be afraid of’’ you whispered, watching as Arthur turned in his sleep. ‘’Of course you matter, eh’’ Tommy placed his hand out to yours and you flinched.

‘’I can’t touch you yet Tommy, if I do, I’m afraid you’ll disappear’’

I had all and then most of you

Some and now none of you

Take me back to the night we met

The sound of silence as Tommy held the gun to his head. Taking a deep breath as he processed his thoughts. His silence interrupted, by the sound of you in the distance. ‘’Tommy! Tommy!’’ you shouted, as he looked confused before exiting the vardo- him tumbling down the hill towards you as you clasped in his arms.

‘’Did Polly send you?’’ Tommy exasperated, his arms clasping around seven year old you as tightly as possible. In his last moments, his mind had gone to you. If there was life after this Earth, it was you he wanted to see first. Your curls falling down your back and the bonnet secured on your head. ‘’You’re little’’ Tommy looked up, him examining your face as you sweetly smiled before fading in his arms.

‘’That’s how you imagine me, when you think of me’’ you spoke, your now adult frame standing on top of the hill. ‘’Button?’’ Tommy questioned, as you nodded with a grin. ‘’29 this year, Tom, can you believe it?’’ you responded, as he looked at you with sadness. ‘’I’d have given anything to have seen it’’ Tommy sighed as you sat next to him. ‘’I see a lot of you in my children, in Charles and Ruby’’

‘’So why are you going to leave them?’’ you asked, as Tommy sighed. ‘’Because I’m sick, Button’’.  ‘’You’re not sick, Tom, do us a favour and relight the fire? You’ll see then that you’re not sick’’

‘’See, I told you!’’ you spoke brightly, watching as he examined the newspaper. ‘’By the way, Tom, I think I’m a little old to be going by Button now, I think it’s time I start going by my real name, Alice, since you named me’’ you whispered, fading as Tommy turned around.

His eyes sore from the smoke as he headed up the hill and faced his burning vardo. Everything burning, apart from underneath lay a pristine copy of Alice in Wonderland. He knew that would be the most important night, the night you met.