Thoughtswithjijin - Tumblr Posts
I actually like when people touch or play with my hair. it’s just that my hair gets messy easily so that’s why I act mad…I’ll act and BE sad that it’s messy but I enjoy it.
Ahhh shit. They know my weakness now…that didn’t last long. It’s only been like five hours since I posted this.
[07.12.2021]
You know, I want to be distant with people to see if I am the one who takes the initiative to make sure they know I’m present, I want them to actually ask how I’m feeling and if I’m okay.* but I shouldn’t because I’m just ruining my mental health if I do that.
I don’t want to do anything. I have no motivation. I shouldn’t be overwhelmed, I did this to myself, I was the one procrastinating the whole day, it’s on me.
I need to stop blaming myself, I also (off topic) should hold people accountable for what they did instead of considering how they feel before mine, they should feel bad for me sometimes instead of telling them not to worry about me.
Sorry, I went on a little tangent.
*my friend actually asked that today because I was a little off and I actually appreciated it
I…I need to be a little selfish sometimes. I take care of my friends, I do like caring for them but it’s so tiring sometimes, I want to be cared for. No one takes care of me except myself. I don’t want to seem like I want anything back for everything I did for them, all my actions come from love, but I want to feel loved too.
I feel like an attention seeker, but honestly yeah. I am and idc, I want people to pay attention to me. I want people to check up on me sometimes and genuinely mean it.
I hate this. I hate this feeling.
I hate to say it, but I’m starting to close myself off again :|
Ngano? Dili ko hibalo. [why? I don’t know.]
I need my friends to talk to me more :(
they just made me not want to talk anymore :/ I was getting excited with what I was talking about and started stuttering *sigh*
[12.02.2022]
I keep biting my nails (>~<)
It seems that perhaps…I am anxious.
AHHHHHHH- 🛌 my crush for this person resurfaced :|. It hit me earlier today, and now my head is empty. ju- just…thinking about WHY. WHYYYYYYY?????!?!? They’re not good for me. Nononono. Omfg I am so thankful I’m off for the week so I could calm the fuck down.
It’s the next day…a little update, I’m telling them…in a few minutes…FRICK AHHH
Lmao update…told them…hella awkward but now I let them think. I am. existing. I can… AH- im good *clear mind*
ik they don’t like me, bc if they did they would have told me already yk? Lol.
Lmao this is like a month later but I just realized that many of my thoughts to do things, they come in mind. Like will they life seeing this? What would they think about this? I wanted attention from them …hmmm :/ frick my life man.
[26.03.2022 - 17:35]
The amount of love I can give to a person is unreal, but the universe isn’t allowing me to give that love. Idk if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. Is it protecting me bc it knows I deserve the best? Or am I just not putting myself out there enough?
[28.03.2022 - 12:40]
Grabbing their face and just…*mwah* “ily”
[30.03.2022 - 9:36]
A hug from behind. Maybe a kiss on the cheek while you’re at that.
*sigh*
[03.04.2022 - 19:45]
I want an internet friend who I am so close to but we have no idea who each other are
I want a whole Yu-Rim/ Hee-Do moment
I had a lowkey spicy dream ab someone. Idk how to feel ab that.
I was literally brushing my teeth this morning, and I chuckled bc I was like “what?” I didn’t expect it. AHAHA it’s…it’s just funny to think about.
Had a bad day today :/
I was cleaning at my workplace and food spilled all over me. And also earlier in the day too. *sigh* just wasn’t my day ig.
I want a mutual “love at first sight” moment in front of a convenience store. And continually run into each other bc we both are friends with a couple
Jijin, baby. Why do you have such a big soft spot for them? you- *sigh* FRICK my life.
Tis the next day after my quiz and I realized that I did everything wrong 🧍♀️😔 i #wanttocry frick this man. I- *sigh* you can’t change the past
[10:47]
I get a lot more “attention” on my Tumblr (that’s not the point of this post) but it’s not from people ik irl, it’s just other users and I honestly like that. Tumblr gets hate, it’s actually underrated, tumblrs lowkey my safe space where I can be myself. Idc. I genuinely love this platform.