Tired Tired Tired - Tumblr Posts
Me: I'm not that obviously disabled by my autism Also me: Has a meltdown shutdown cycle for three weeks and although I've escaped it I'm still spiraling with anger issues out of the stress of a new transition beginning this fall
Being autistic and having been diagnosed at twelve years old is so inherently funny to me cause like I was knowledgeable enough to know that something was clearly weird or off about me. But not knowledgeable enough to realize that the DSM-5 wasn't kidding when they said that symptoms could be managed but would always be lifelong
Like my meltdowns are still a massive pain. Just now they're about things that could make sense like grades and not stuff like the sun exploding within my lifetime
Me: I'm not that obviously disabled by my autism Also me: Has a meltdown shutdown cycle for three weeks and although I've escaped it I'm still spiraling with anger issues out of the stress of a new transition beginning this fall
Being autistic and having been diagnosed at twelve years old is so inherently funny to me cause like I was knowledgeable enough to know that something was clearly weird or off about me. But not knowledgeable enough to realize that the DSM-5 wasn't kidding when they said that symptoms could be managed but would always be lifelong
Like my meltdowns are still a massive pain. Just now they're about things that could make sense like grades and not stuff like the sun exploding within my lifetime
Growing up female is traumatic. From a young age I remember being terrified that I was going to be harrassed because I had developed faster and more obviously than my peers. Even now I shudder at the idea of having to bend over in front of men of any age. I got catcalled twice at 17 by other boys my age. I couldn't drive and I was waiting for my mom to come pick up from school and two boys from inside a car at the pick up line yelled something sexual at me. I will spare you the deals but despite my false bravado and real rage I felt nothing more than embarrassed and ashamed once they had left. I had rumors around my sexual life even before I had a serious relationship of any kind and I had male friends who had found me being sexually innocent funny. The things they'd watch and openly show me was nothing more than disgusting yet the idea of exploring my sexuality and then finding out I was bisexual had me ashamed because I thought that they would be weirded out
I can go on but I won't
Growing up female is traumatic. From a young age I remember being terrified that I was going to be harrassed because I had developed faster and more obviously than my peers. Even now I shudder at the idea of having to bend over in front of men of any age. I got catcalled twice at 17 by other boys my age. I couldn't drive and I was waiting for my mom to come pick up from school and two boys from inside a car at the pick up line yelled something sexual at me. I will spare you the deals but despite my false bravado and real rage I felt nothing more than embarrassed and ashamed once they had left. I had rumors around my sexual life even before I had a serious relationship of any kind and I had male friends who had found me being sexually innocent funny. The things they'd watch and openly show me was nothing more than disgusting yet the idea of exploring my sexuality and then finding out I was bisexual had me ashamed because I thought that they would be weirded out
I can go on but I won't
Growing up female is traumatic. From a young age I remember being terrified that I was going to be harrassed because I had developed faster and more obviously than my peers. Even now I shudder at the idea of having to bend over in front of men of any age. I got catcalled twice at 17 by other boys my age. I couldn't drive and I was waiting for my mom to come pick up from school and two boys from inside a car at the pick up line yelled something sexual at me. I will spare you the deals but despite my false bravado and real rage I felt nothing more than embarrassed and ashamed once they had left. I had rumors around my sexual life even before I had a serious relationship of any kind and I had male friends who had found me being sexually innocent funny. The things they'd watch and openly show me was nothing more than disgusting yet the idea of exploring my sexuality and then finding out I was bisexual had me ashamed because I thought that they would be weirded out
I can go on but I won't
I'm so tired of the idea that autism isn't a disability. I'm aware that some people aren't too affected by their autism but I am disabled by mine. I've been in and out of different therapies since I was nine years old and that was even before I was diagnosed at age twelve. I have frequent meltdowns and shutdowns over the littlest of things and combined with my ADHD and GAD it's quite frankly a miracle I get anything done. I've been exhausted since school has ended since I have to prep for University and I keep having mini meltdowns over all the uncertainty ahead. I barely know how to keep the friends I still have and everyone I'm close with is going to different schools so I have no friends as a safety net come Fall Semester.
It's tiring being Autistic because everything is so much more difficult. I can barely write legibly unless I think about it and even making friends is a game I barely know how to play. Yet when i tell people that I'm autistic they are shocked as if it wasn't obvious by my difficulties with peers.
I just hope that University is better but fuck I don't even know anymore.
But to my main point. Autism is a disability. Deal with it
I'm so tired of the idea that autism isn't a disability. I'm aware that some people aren't too affected by their autism but I am disabled by mine. I've been in and out of different therapies since I was nine years old and that was even before I was diagnosed at age twelve. I have frequent meltdowns and shutdowns over the littlest of things and combined with my ADHD and GAD it's quite frankly a miracle I get anything done. I've been exhausted since school has ended since I have to prep for University and I keep having mini meltdowns over all the uncertainty ahead. I barely know how to keep the friends I still have and everyone I'm close with is going to different schools so I have no friends as a safety net come Fall Semester.
It's tiring being Autistic because everything is so much more difficult. I can barely write legibly unless I think about it and even making friends is a game I barely know how to play. Yet when i tell people that I'm autistic they are shocked as if it wasn't obvious by my difficulties with peers.
I just hope that University is better but fuck I don't even know anymore.
But to my main point. Autism is a disability. Deal with it
I'm so tired of the idea that autism isn't a disability. I'm aware that some people aren't too affected by their autism but I am disabled by mine. I've been in and out of different therapies since I was nine years old and that was even before I was diagnosed at age twelve. I have frequent meltdowns and shutdowns over the littlest of things and combined with my ADHD and GAD it's quite frankly a miracle I get anything done. I've been exhausted since school has ended since I have to prep for University and I keep having mini meltdowns over all the uncertainty ahead. I barely know how to keep the friends I still have and everyone I'm close with is going to different schools so I have no friends as a safety net come Fall Semester.
It's tiring being Autistic because everything is so much more difficult. I can barely write legibly unless I think about it and even making friends is a game I barely know how to play. Yet when i tell people that I'm autistic they are shocked as if it wasn't obvious by my difficulties with peers.
I just hope that University is better but fuck I don't even know anymore.
But to my main point. Autism is a disability. Deal with it