Tmnt 2018 X Reader - Tumblr Posts
Philophobia
WARNING: I'd like to clarify that philophobia is real and different from being asexual or aromantic. To put in very simple terms, philophobia is the fear of falling in love that is often but not always caused by a trauma revolving "love", asexuality is when you feel no sexual attraction to anyone, and aromantic is when you feel no romantic attraction. Not everyone with philophobia is asexual or aromantic and not everyone who is asexual and/or aromantic has philophobia. Not to say that it impossible to have all of the above, it's correlation not causation.
Ship: ROTTMNT Leonardo X Reader
Pronouns: They/Them
Summary: This is when he find out you have philophobia
(Not my GIF)
Leo found out because he is invested in your love life. You tell him all the tea all the time about the drama of the people in your life and so knowing your own drama is no difference. You didn't tell him directly that you have philophobia at first, but he put two and two together because of everything you've told him.
Anytime there is a love interest in your life you do nothing about it. When someone likes you, you lie about noticing it, even when all the stuff they do is one giant scream for your attention. When it’s you who likes someone, you always have some excuse to not confess. You're just content with liking them from afar and taking your feelings to the grave. The one time where you have a crush on someone who clearly likes you back is when Leo found out why your like this.
You tell him your trauma with love, the reason you feel like love is just not meant to be for you. You cry of course, it's not easy retelling something you'd rather never happened at all, but he sits there quietly as you do, not a single joke, quip, heckle, or sound. You tell him how and why, you tell him your fear of what happen and of it happening again. How you just aren't ready to feel the bad part of loving someone that comes with the good, even if the good could possible weigh out the bad, its just not something you're willing to risk.
When you finish, he's left speechless, he knows he has to be delicate in his response because he doesn't know how else to deal seriousness in the kind of manner you need and after seeing you break down in front of him he knows that he has to help in some way. He opts for the safest approach of just rubbing your back, he wants to comfort you but is scared that his touch might scare you when you're vulnerable. If you lean in closer then he'll just hold you and rest his head on yours, he lets you cry on him if you want. He doesn’t try to do anything selfish like try to look at you or anything, he just holds you without saying a word and tries his best to stay completely still. If your don't like the touch, then he'll stop and say thank you for trusting him.
Once you compose yourself again, that's where he's back to his good goofy self. He's there trying to make you laugh and takes you to do something stupid to make you feel better. He wants to let you know that whether you want a relationship with someone or not, you always have him to have the kind of relationship you don't have to be scared of and can depend on, and promises that if a similar situation were to ever happen again that he’ll come be your hero.