Tojishiu - Tumblr Posts
Toji, wiggling eyebrows : Hey who’s your favorite person in the whole world?
Shiu: Don’t have one.
Toji : Hey! What about me?
Shiu : You asked favorite person and you’re my angel.
Toji, tearing up : Awww, really?
Shiu : Yeah cuz you’re dead to me.
Shiu : You make me so angry so quickly. It’s remarkable.
Toji : I literally only said 6 words.
Shiu : Yet here I am, boiling with hate.
Toji, snuggling beside Shiu : You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. You’re my star, the light in my darkest days.
Shiu, jumping awake into a corner : You fucking bitch- I thought I locked the door?!
Toji : The window was open.
Megumi : *spits out food*
Toji : Hey! We don’t spit here. If it’s in your mouth, you swallow it.
Shiu : *raises eyebrow*
Toji : Shut the fuck up.
Toji : I never considered you a rival.
Shiu : I never considered you at all.
Toji : Now that’s just hurtful.
Toji : Remember that time you dared me to lick the swingset?
Shiu : No, I said, “Toji, don’t lick the swingset”, and you said, “Don’t tell me what to do”, and then you licked the swingset.
Shiu : See you in hell.
Toji : Are you asking me out on a date?
Toji : Because, if so, i accept.
Toji is in the hospital : Will you visit me when I get out?
Shiu : Lol nah, I hate graveyards.
Shiu : I called you 7 times!
Toji : And I watched it ring.
Toji : 7 times!
Toji : Oh look, we're under a mistletoe.
Shiu, looks up : That is not a mistletoe.
[ Later that night ]
Shiu, wakes up at 4am : Oh my god! He was flirting with me!
[ Shiu calls Toji and sent to voicemail ]
Toji’s voicemail: Hi, I’m sorry I can’t come to the phone right now but if you need anything, feel free to call Shiu Kong at ***-****-****, anytime, night or day *beep*
Shiu : Toji, I told you to change that message !
Toji : What should I get Megumi for their birthday?
Shiu : A dad présent.
Toji : Shiu, we tried things your way.
Shiu : No, we didn't.
Toji : I did it in my head and it didn't work.
Shiu : You look like a corpse that was just pulled out of the river.
Toji : Wrong. I look like a cool rock star who just OD'd in his own pool. Big difference.
Shiu : *Locks Toji in the car.* Act like a child, get treated like a child.
Toji : What? Isn't it illegal to leave a child locked in a car?
Shiu, answers phone : Hello?
Toji : It's Toji.
Shiu : What did he do this time?
Toji : No, it's me, Toji. It's actually me.
Shiu : What did you do this time?
Shiu : Are you trying to seduce me?
Toji : Why, are you seducible?
Shiu : What's wrong with you?
Toji : Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for addiction and depression.
Toji : Shiu, I think you should play the role of my father.
Shiu : I don't want to be your father.
Toji : That's perfect. You already know your lines.
Shiu : You often use humor to deflect trauma.
Toji : Thank you!
Shiu : I didn't say that was a good thing.
Toji : What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny.