Toxic Relationship Au - Tumblr Posts

; d.va | m.

— pairings: jeon jungkook x reader

— genre: smut, angst, pwp

— word count: 2k+

— warnings: jungkook being a shit boyfriend, creampie, unprotected sex, dirty talk 

— summary: it’s a pretty important day for you but jungkook doesn’t seem to think so. 

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From Breakup to Make Up

↳Story Header © @softjeon​ (do not steal this header!)

» Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader (female OC) [feat. Kim Yugyeom]

» Genre(s): SMUT, Angst, Romance, & Slight-Fluff (if you squint near the end)

» Warning(s) & Rating: Toxic Relationship, Swearing, BDSM Themes, Dom/Sub Themes, Thigh Riding, Unprotected Sex, Fingering, Orgasm Denial, and Dirty Talk / 18+

» Word Count: 6.5K

» Summary: After reading a dating rumor article, Jungkook couldn’t help but feel pissed off. It has been known for over a month, among friends and colleagues, that the two of you are a hot item, so why are you stepping out with his close friend, Kim Yugyeom? Fans have always known about his infamous temper, but no one has ever seen it―not even you. What will happen between the two of you once you get home, and Jungkook accuses you of cheating? Will this finally be the breaking point to your guys’ relationship? Or perhaps―will a specific activity save the love the two of you bear for one another?

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bad boy good thing | jjk

summary a series of drabbles where you're confused and jungkook's confusing

status completed

latest update here | 8 sept 2021

chapters

⇾ i. (m)

⇾ ii. (m)

⇾ iii.

⇾ iv.

⇾ v.

⇾ vi. (m)

⇾ vii.

⇾ viii.

⇾ ix.

⇾ x.

⇾ xi.

⇾ xii.

⇾ xiii.

⇾ xiv.

⇾ xv. (m)

⇾ xvi.

⇾ xvii.

⇾ xviii. (m)

drabbles

⇾ i (m)

⇾ ii (m) [happy birthday jk <3]

↳ check out the Ask My Muse responses here!

After all this time... [SF9 Zuho Oneshot]

♥ I wanna ask you to read this while listening to Dylan Conrique’s “Birthday Cake” on loop ♥

[Warnings: ANGST!, Heartbreak!, toxic relationship, commitment issues, wrong understanding of what love is, relationship fights, gn!reader]

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Your love life had a sad beginning and you always were convinced it would have a sad ending too. You and Zuho have had a relationship for 3 years now. From the start it had been an unhealthy one. Him having commitment issues and you being so love deprived throughout your whole life that everytime someone loved you, you thought you would have to do something to deserve it. Zuho and you getting into a relationship was a miracle. It took 4 attempts to finally be able to call each other boyfriend and girlfriend. People always thought you two were the perfect couple, your relationship being so ‘powerful and strong’ when truely it was a day to day fight. This hasn’t always been the case. After about one year of Zuho and you tricking yourself into believing that what you had was love for life the fassade and all the fakeness started falling apart. The trigger point was Zuho’s commitment issues coming back to life, although they where never gone but instead just buried deep down in a chest of untouched feelings. What made it bearable for you two was the fact that you where the one who always tried to push him into thinking different. You remembered him that he would not have to walk alone but instead you would take his hand, him sometimes being more strict to himself and sometimes giving in to your words easily. ‘Communication is key’ was your motto. Putting this rule into practice was barely needed because you two were lacking problems. Thats what you two thought. Thats what you had to pretend for your little bush of roses to keep growing and, of course, to hide what was underneath it. There came a time where both of you thought you would never face any hardships in your relationship so that you two agreed on instantly talking it out if one of you had a problem, not realising that, this being a lie, would’ve been needed way before you set it. 

Two full years into your relationship and a little war of pointing at each other and telling your partner that they had a problem and them not admitting it, on both sides, had started. Pretending that your relationship was all fine was getting harder and harder. Your opinion was always the stronger one while Zuho never seemed to face his issues. Occassionally you would wake up from that rage fit and at that time this was the last straw that kept you two at stake. You always tried to speak in a calm tone, telling him you don’t mean bad when the truth was that your helper syndrom was at it’s peak and you were near to exploding. Two and a half years in, that exact same barrel was constantly overflowing. You openly blamed him for not beeing able to show love when all you did was powder his butt with love and affection and yes, at first you were totally fine with it because that was what kept you driving. You thought you would get some praise for all the stuff you did because praise for you meant love. Why would anybody ever be nice to you when there wasn’t something they would wanna benefit from nor why would you get love when you did nothing very lovable. You had to earn yourself the love you always wanted. Zuho being that mysterious and heart broken guy you thought you could fix was the perfect experiment, just that you thought you were being genuine in what you did for him, and you were at first. But one day Zuho snapped.

Zuho: “How could I possibly take any of your love serious when honestly all you do this for is yourself, to not feel useless?!”

Y/N: “Who are YOU to judge who never even went out of his comfort zone and never EVER appreciated one thing I did, no wait, that ANYONE did for him? Are you that heartless? And you say you are the one suffering?!”

Those arguments went on and on for months and they were getting so bad that sometimes you wouldn’t even talk for a week straight because thats how either you two got your piece or how long it took for one of you to apologize, if that was even in any of yours vocabular. The hardest times were when guilt started kicking in and you realized you never even gave Zuho a chance to explain himself or you never saw listening to him as an option. And it’s true, pride shouldn’t be stronger than the knowledge of being able to step back with your own needs when someone else is suffering more and can hardly handle it. Sometimes. When you’d pull yourself together to reach out a hand to Zuho he would just slap it away, rarely ever accepting it and when he did, you two would surprisingly well talk it out, sometimes just sit next to each other or in each others arms while listening to each other cry. In those times of you two sharing words, apologies weren’t needed. Your tears spoke for you. But shame would often take over, then ignorance, and then the cycle started over and over again. Zuho, who, to your unbeknownst, analysed those situation more than you thought, took the courage to speak up about it in another of your rough conversations.

Zuho: “-Y/N I understand you... I have, in fact, two weeks ago. We have been at this point. Aren’t you tired of all of this? Why can’t we break out of this cycle? Everytime we two barely make it through the last argument and seem to make a good end, it all starts again because one of us is too full of themselve to admit we are having a problem. Listen I- I love you okay? I know we have said that like... maybe thrice in the last two months but honestly I just feel so exhausted when I hear it from you. I wanna accept it. I really do but can’t you imagine that every time I think we found a good basis and the hill is going up my hopes of us getting closer are thrown out the window because of a stupid fight? All this is stupid!”

Y/N: “...Gosh Babe I know I KNOW you’re right and I wish I could show you how I feel the same but... i feel like you say you understand but in fact you don’t because if you did you would’ve changed things... I don’t know but the past year I have always been the one to take steps towards you and my strength to do that is slowly fading. I feel like I am running on hot coals when sometimes I feel like I deserve for you to come and pick me up and carry me on your hands. I don’t wanna blame you here but I fear I just don’t have the mentality anymore and it- it destroys me from the inside. Why is it so hard for you to just give back a bit of love? I see we both seem delighted by the concept of ‘give and take’ but do you know how hard of a punch in the face it is for me when you say you cannot take my ‘I love you’s” serious anymore but then demand that I put down my guard of basic needs for love when in all those years this was your main problem and you NEVER made an attempt at stepping out of your bubble? Zuho that is taking but never giving!”

Zuho: “Y/N WHY THE FUCK DON’T YOU TRY TO BE BETRAYED YOUR WHOLE LIFE AND THEN TRUST PEOPLE AGAIN? I-”

You flinched.

Zuho: “Shit Sorry... excuse me I didn’t mean to yell I- *sigh*”

Y/N: “No Zuho, you meant that. Sometimes, and I am sorry for what I am about to say but I can’t do this anymore, sometimes I desperately wish for us to fight after we didn’t talk for a week because I really hope we find each other in fights where we end up in each others arm just crying... Because that has been the ONLY time over the last year where we have truely been emotionally on the same level and where we exchanged some kind of affection. Shit we don’t even have Sex anymore Zuho!”

Zuho: “We did have reconciliation Sex-”

Y/N: “ ZUHO WAKE UP! That has literally been hate Sex! Do YOU not ever wish to be held gently? To be carrased??? Surprise, surprise: I DO!”

The long pause that filled the air made you anxious.

Zuho: “I... I really have never given you the attention you deserve, have I?”

His question made you unbelievably sad and heartbroken, tears started running.

Y/N: “No Zuho... you haven’t. And I am shook it took you three years to realise. I... *sob* Zuho I know I haven’t been nice to you over the last year either. But I was desperate and helpless. All those fights I started were a call in hope for you to wake up. Everytime I tried talking sublty about it, trying to approach you to rationally talk about my needs I hoped for you to do better but you took it personally and made it seem like I had bad intentions. I noticed that if this wouldn’t work and that you would only yell at me- I thought yelling back would be the only way to get through to you...”

Zuho has long started crying too, holding his hands infront of his face, running them through his hair, walking up and down the apartment and sitting back down again.

Y/N: “And YES Zuho. I DO wanna apologize for all the things I have said. But don’t you realise that while I know you deeply wanted to fight your commitment issues, you pushed me away and did the exact opposite? I don’t wanna reach out anymore. I love yo-  ahrrghh I don’t dare to say it when you might think I don’t mean it but I always meant it. And Zuho I still do, but I need to safe myself now.”

Zuho was shaking his head. He couldn’t get himself to look into your eyes because that meant accepting the situation. His breathing got heavier and heavier until he broke down and all came out. He just realised that he was the perfect example of ‘People only start to appreciate something when they lost it’ and he did not want to see your crying form because that meant to look at what he had done, how he broke you and how your instability was his fault. 

Zuho: “Please no... Please tell me WHY WHY WHY when all we want is to be loved- WHY can’t we take the courage to do it NOW? Y/N please tell me you give this a chance if you love me! This can’t end like this, I was so so stupid PLEASE I can’t loose you! I- I-”

Zuho was now facing you, begging on his knees while you sat on your shared sofa, his head laying on your thighs and his arms hugging your lower body so tight in fear of letting you go, feeling his tears on your legs. You had to wipe your own away, fast enough for them not to hit Zuho but you have never felt something so heavy in that moment and it was too hard for you to hold all of them back.

Y/N: “Zuho I- I start to think that I used to love the old you. I loved the thought of naive little me thinking I now found my prince and that now my time to be loved has come and I miss the time I found joy in us. I was disappointed once and I just cannot handle a second time and I don’t want to take the risk. That’s delusional for both me AND you. Gosh you don’t know how hard it is for me right now but-”

Zuho: “No, No, NO I am begging you please don’t say it please Y/N I cannot handle another person leaving me... I can’t!”

Y/N: “I know Zuho, I know but it has to be said! I don’t think we do each other good and for both our sakes it is better for each of us to start and learn to love and accept ourselves first and... and learn how to deal with our issues first and-”

You took a deep breath.

Y/N: “I think it’s time to end this relationship.”

Zuho’s sobbing got immense in that exact same moment, he had difficulties containing his breathing and when he started to stand up to furiously walk through the apartment it stung like a knife right through your heart to see his red eyes, his puffy lips and cheeks, you so badly desired to hold him, kiss him and tell him that everything is going to be fine but you promised yourself you wouldn’t lie to yourself ever again. Seeing him like this, who you always dreamed about would love you, made you do him justice and you broke down in whimmers too, holding your hand against your mouth, your vision blurring due to all the tears collecting themselves.

The scene was pure heartbreak and the world you two tried to poorly create fell apart,

finally...

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I wrote this for a friend of mine and while I wrote this I thought “Wow Niwi are you okay? This is damn sad”... I am not. I was bawling my eyes out the whole time- I really hope you enjoy this one. Niwi~