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Dream Study

Before I get into everything, before I explain where things really start to devolve- I feel like I need to give a bit of context. Besides the initial shock, there is a reason I fear those glimpses that I catch in the corner of my vision, looking like my doppelganger. I used to have this recurring nightmare where I wake up in bed, and the house is so quiet and empty. I'm unsure of why I woke up, but still I pull the blankets away to find an outstretched arm from under the covers. Immediately I grab it, and I pull it with me. Now I'm not sure how it happens in the dream. As I recall how things happened, I know my dream logic makes no sense. I'm calling for my parents but my voice is dead in my throat. I keep trying to reach the door to my bedroom, but it's so far. Eventually, I realize that in my haste I never realized the arm was still connected to someone, and when I turn around I'm face to face with myself. I'm gaunt and pale, I'm naked, eyes glazed over they might as well be dark marbles in the sockets. Of course I let go in shock because what the hell, right? At least put some pants on before scaring the hell out of me. But she outstretches her slender boney hands, and she latches onto me. And then she strangles me until I'm dead. Every time, nearly every night for months, it was more of the same. Sometimes I would wake up shouting in my sleep. Sometimes I felt like I'd been in a struggle when I woke up. I didn't understand why it was happening. 

Not going too far into the events of my life that led me there, there was a night that things changed. I wouldn't call the dream lucid, but it was damn near close. I mean, it started the same as all the others. I wake up in the bed of my childhood home, but nobody is there except for the lingering horrors I'm not yet privy to, and it all starts with that outstretched arm. Always does. I turn around with that sickening realization that the arm is in fact connected to a body. In only a way dream logic can work. Now though, I bite down on the arm, and I am feral and cornered. 

And I just keep

Biting. I keep punching. I keep attacking violently and soon the doppelganger, as the only way I know to call it, is on the ground with their intestines pulled out. Their ribs broken away, and I'm eating it. I consume and I consume until I can say there's only one of me. That I feel safe. I think about that dream a lot lately. I feel haunted by it, but most of all

I don't even know which one of us it was that prevailed in the end. God help us all if I'm not me.